Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the playground podcast. I'm your host, Paige Renee and I have had a lot of travel. And I honestly just haven't wanted to do the podcast I was a little unmotivated because I hate traveling with all of my equipment. But now I'm excited to update you on where I've been and what I've been doing. I had a couple of fun weeks of playing some golf, some sponsor outings and some weird things that have happened in between. So let's just get right into it. And we'll do some TNA at the end of this episode. Okay, so I went from Colorado to New York, New York to Virginia, Virginia to Arkansas, Arkansas, Missouri, Missouri, back to Arkansas, Arkansas, to Colorado, Colorado, to Utah, Utah, to Colorado. And now and then I have to go to Colorado to New York, New York to Colorado, Colorado, back to New York, New York, back to Colorado. So yeah, it's been it's been crazy. I am almost through the most hectic time and then I'll get to relax a little bit. And I actually get to go on a real vacation, I realized that I haven't been on a real vacation. Since I was seven years old. I went to Florida Disney World, we did that whole thing. And that was my last real vacation because any other time after that I was doing Jeunesse high level, and then I did golf and then Pro and then now it's you know media work. And so I really haven't had a true vacation where I've been able to unplug. And so that is coming up. Not that soon, but kind of soon. And so that's what's been keeping me going because it has been such a crazy year. An amazing year, but I'm kind of at the point now where I'm like, I can't travel anymore. I started traveling. But the last couple of trips were really fun. So while I was in Virginia, I met with this company that I work with dynamic brands, so they do badboy divan towels so divine does all of my golf towels that I do so all the really fun ones with me on it. And they also do so many other really cool towels as well. Bad boy does a ton of awesome stuff. So it was fun to see them. And they have so many other brands as well. And I've been working with them for two and a half, almost three years now. So it's been a great partnership, we've been able to be so creative and do some really fun things with the towel. I talked about this before. But I was so against doing a towel, I thought that no one would want to buy it. And you guys actually ended up really loving them. So it's been something really fun than I've been able to do in my career. And we have some really fun stuff in the works coming up. But every year I do a Virginia trip because that's where the headquarters are. And so I got to play Ken lock, which is one of the most beautiful golf courses that I have ever played. It is in amazing shape. The members are really cool. The staff is awesome. And they have really amazing grilled PB and J sandwiches like they are amazing. So I got to play there. And it was a really fun round. And my caddy was fascinating. So you know, I just met him on the first team. And I was like, so have you been caddy here for a while. And he's like, No, just a year. He was like, I was a dentist for 20 plus years. And I was diagnosed with brain cancer during COVID. And stories is crazy. And he said that it was at that point they didn't know. And so he decided that he wanted to start living life for himself and to do things that he really loves. And he loves golf. So all he does now is plays golf and he caddies and it was a really interesting perspective on life and learning from him. And he was actually a really great player too. I think he said he was a plus two or three handicap. And so being around him and listening to him talk me through the golf course, when you've had a really good caddy, and they don't have to necessarily always be really great players. But sometimes when a caddy really knows a golf course and this guy was a really great player and he knew the golf course. It just gives you a different perspective on how to play it. And this is why I value caddy so much and I think they are so greatly important to the success of players on tour and just in everyday rounds because is there's so many times where I don't have the right yardage or I pick the wrong club, or I don't take into account the uphill or downhill or the wind. And having a caddy really helps all those factors and talking you out of doing stupid shots or picking shots that aren't going to turn out. Right. And for me, I'm a horrible green reader. Absolutely horrendous. Every putt is straight to me. I don't know what it is. I just can't read greens. And I've been like that my entire career. I'm a really good putter, but I can't read greens. And so I rely so heavily on my caddy when it comes to putting and anytime I have a great caddy look out because I'll make everything because I just need someone to tell me where to hit it. And then I can do that. I just can't read them on my own. And so you know, we made some putts, we had so much fun. But again, also getting the perspective on course, and listening to a great player and a great caddy, but also just listening to him and his life experience and things he would do different. And it was just a really cool round. And that's what I love so much about golf is being able to meet all of these different characters that come along in your life and spending five hours with someone that you didn't know and now you know so much about them. And he knows so much about me and you have these really interesting conversations and you get to know someone so deep on a personal level, through a round of golf. And that's one of my favorite aspects of this game. It's the people that I meet and looking forward to coming back next year and, you know, asking for him to caddy for me again. It's those experiences that make golf so special. And so that was really fun. And the next day I got to play in a Champions tour program. And my pro was Jim Furyk. I have wanted to play with Jim Furyk for such a long time. He is a Pittsburgh guy. He loves the Steelers. My parents are from Pittsburgh, we're big Steelers fan. We just have so many weird ties. He played golf at University of Arizona. I played golf at University of Arizona. He's a club champion and Pastor I'm a club champion Ambassador Which reminds me if you want to go get new clubs for the holiday season get geared up for next summer go to club champion now it is a perfect gift for yourself or a loved one so don't forget to go there get a whole new bag you deserve it New Year New you new clubs. So go to club champion and use code page. So we ended up playing at Virginia Country Club and it is again a very beautiful golf course so I got so lucky to play Kinloch, and then Virginia Country Club back to back I played really well actually got to play from the front tees though.
Everyone always gets mad when I get to play from the front tees because they don't think it's fair because I hit it long. And it's so much fun to be able to play from the front tees. And I always tell people that if you're struggling with your game, or scoring or learning how to go low move up seriously play from the very front tee box and try to shoot five to 10 under try to go under par because if you can't go under par from the front tees, then you probably won't be able to go under par from tee boxes that are farther back. So what I like to do is start up close, have a really good round, move back one tee box have another really good round. And I can't move back until I have a score that I'm happy with. So for you it could be maybe one under par even for me it's maybe 789 under from the front tease but it really trains your brain to not fear going low because I know that we've all dealt with this before when you're having the absolute round of your life and you get nervous and all sudden you start thinking about it and you choke you train yourself to get over that fear and to not stop thinking about attacking the pins and making birdies and it's harder than you think because you're so then focused in on your short game and so you have to get hit really good wedge shots and most of the holes are not set up for you to be hitting them in those areas if you do hit it farther, and so you have to be really accurate also off the tee. So it really tests all aspects of your game and it forces you to go low. So got to play from the front tee box. And I think I was six under through nine. I played really well. I was making some putting some really great headshots, but Jiffy Eric is one of the nicest pros that I have ever played with really dry sense of humor friendly. Just fun just fun to play with. He didn't try to give you too many swing tips or be too overbearing it was just the perfect combination of knowing you know when to insert yourself and when to talk and you know, mixing through everyone in the group and you can tell he's just such a problem when it comes to socializing with people on the golf course. And he's been doing this for Such a long time. Also just to watch his game because he is not obviously known as being one of the longest hitters, but he has a amazing watch game. And he just doesn't miss like, even when he's upset with his shots, he's just not missing. And it just shows you that pros do miss, but their misses don't hurt them. And I think that's something that we can all take into account and remember to is that we're all going to mess it doesn't matter how good we are, how long we've been playing. If we've shot, you know, 58 in a tournament, and we want to major that you're still going to miss shots. And that that is okay. And it's so interesting, always watching the best players in the world, because you do realize that they're not going to hit every shot perfect. And most of the time, you maybe only hit one or two really perfect shots around if you're lucky. And so to get better, you just need to make your Miss hits just a little bit better. So if you missed it off the tee, maybe instead of it going OB or a loss ball, it's just barely off the fairway and you can still scramble for your your par or even a bogey instead of making a double, triple or a quad. And so that's the thing that they do really well is that when they do miss, they scramble really well or they're still missing in spots that it doesn't hurt them. And I always remember that when I watched them play and I'm like, Okay, I can't get mad that I'm missing because they're missing too. And it's always a good lesson to have. So that was a fun two days and most of the time when I am traveling and doing trips I don't really get to play much golf because I'm shooting or it's just you know, inside of a studio. It's just not where like a meet and greet. You just don't get to play much golf and so this trip actually got to play which was nice and play some really amazing golf courses which makes it even better so after this. I was in Missouri, Branson, Missouri, I went to pains Valley, which is Tiger Woods is course there and it is spectacular. I didn't get to play at this go round. The last time I was there is when I played the top of the rock par three course at another Champions Tour event where I was lucky enough to play with Gary Player Mark Wahlberg and Justin Timberlake that was my foursome of the day and I told the story before but i It's too good to not tell again but I remember being on that first team and it's a team event so my partner was Justin Timberlake and we were playing against everyone that was there they had all these different pairings but Gary Player and Mark Wahlberg and so it was Gary and Mark first in their their teen often while they routine everyone off they were listing out everyone's accomplishments and what Gary was like, all these major championships and Wahlberg, you know, all these like movies and all this stuff. And then, of course, you know, Justin Timberlake, the list goes on and on and on. It was just so incredibly impressive to be around all these superstars. And then I was the last to go. I swear someone did this on purpose, because they were like, and a pitch spring. And at that time, I just did Sports Illustrated, like Sports Illustrated.
Like that was it? Nothing else. And it was mortifying, mortifying. After they announced like Gary, Mark, and Justin, it was like, crowd goes wild. Everyone's screaming. And then they introduced me and it was like was that seriously like, that is what it was like. And it was such a humbling experience. I feel like everything in my life is just a humbling experience after another humbling experience. But I was like, yep, well, that that was great. And I would always like go right behind Mark Wahlberg or Justin Timberlake because they'd be mobbed by people and I would just kind of like scoot on through because obviously, no one was asking for my autograph or picture or anything. It was such a fun day, because they were all really cool down the earth. And I gotta meet Jessica Biel as well. And she is like my ultimate girl crush. But that was the last time I was in at that golf course. And so I was back this year with swag. So they brought all of their best customers in for this big event, which was so much fun. And so the first day I just met everyone on the first tee. But while I was doing that, like two minutes before everyone came, I like looked back was going to take a stab, and my thunder thighs crushed this yellow jacket wasp. I don't know what it was, but I crushed it between my legs. And I opened my leg up and the stinger is just stuck in there and I'm like, oh, no, luckily I'm not allergic but took the sting out and immediately shooting pain the thing swelling up. And I was like, I don't know what to do. And so I just left it, and it was burning the entire time. And then the next day it was my whole leg was completely swollen, completely swollen. And this goes back to what I talked about, Gosh, I don't know, maybe a couple months ago where everything that can go wrong does go wrong with me on these trips. It doesn't matter. And it's always like these weird medical issues like the time I got, like double pinkeye when I had to go the Derek Jeter event after the maxim shoot the most embarrassing, worst possible things that could happen. That's what happens to me. And they're things that are not like, luckily, that bad, but they're just embarrassing, and it's uncomfortable enough. And so I have to like tell people about it. And it's always the worst thing ever.
It always happens. Every time I travel, it always
happens to me. It's like I could never go on a trip and just have everything go right. And everything be totally fine. So this trip, I had the wasp or yellow jacket sting. So that was very uncomfortable and not fun to deal with. I have like a large allergic reaction to it. And like my leg was super hot. And I was like getting really nauseous. And I was like looking. And this is the bad thing too. I think I work myself up because I look at my phone. And I Google when like, can you die from a wasp thing? Or like all this stuff? Man? Like, yeah, I mean, yes, you can. Of course you can. But it's always like the worst possible thing that can happen. And so on mouth. And like, God, this is it for me, because I was having such a bad reaction. So everyone was kind of freaking out is this big deal. And I make it into bigger deals. And it probably is. But it was really scary in the moment. And I actually thought that I didn't know what to do, because I I am allergic to so many things. And I've been stung by a bee before. But this was different, completely different reaction. But I digress. I then got to stand on the famous 19th hole par three, it's this island green with this massive waterfall behind you. And it's like a mile drive back to the clubhouse through, like these cliffs is really, really cool. It's like, it's like amusement park. That's what it feels like. And so I set it on 19 all day long and hit a shot on the parks free for every group that came through. And that's always stressful, because you're sitting there and you're waiting for the group and you have one shot, and they're expecting you to hit a good shot. So we're like the first deal. I was so nervous, my hands were shaking, and I just like dead pulled in the water. And I was like, sorry. Like, what are you gonna do, you know, like, Oh, like this way I don't play anymore. So I take my clothes off on Instagram, get paid that way because I can't can't hack it as a golfer. Yeah, but it's always nerve wracking. And then you get into it and you had a couple good shots. And it's it's really fun. I had a really good time there. I love the swag team and all of their customers are really cool too. They're so obsessed with swag and the brand and the people and they built something like truly truly special. It's really hard to capture that. That fan base that loves what you do so much. And they want to collect everything that you put out. So it was a it was a really cool energy that they had at that event. And like I said, you have to drive this like mile like through this like waterfall. And it was it's really, really cool. So I wouldn't go back and play there. Again, for real and just really experience every single course they have out there because I have so many different golf courses and they're all really cool on the people are really cool there too. So a really good trip. So I got really lucky. It's hard with the travel but I do get really lucky with all of these trips that I get to go on because most of them are really cool and fun. So after that, I went back to Colorado. I had to get some stuff done some shoots and then from there I went to Utah and I was there for an X golf appearance. They were opening their new Utah location. It's the first one in Utah so definitely go check that out. If you are from Utah, it's in Riverton and I was also there for a wedding one of my old teammates SDSU got married and all the team was back together and it's always so much fun to reminisce on all of the old college stories and all of the fun that we used to have. I feel like I've changed so much since college. I wouldn't say I was necessarily a party girl, but I had fun and being homeschooled and then going to college. I definitely let my hair down a little bit. But I used to always call myself a party girl until I actually experienced like people really partying and I was like I'm not a party girl at all. I would drink Like, one night a week and get a little like white girl wasted and it was so tame from what actually people actually do. And I didn't realize like so many people to drugs and stuff and I'm not judging, I'm not judging at all. But once I was like an adult and like I people were talking about it so publicly, I was like, what? And I have never done drugs in my entire life. That's just something that I'm like, so petrified to do and in college, I used to like kind of lie about it. i Oh, yeah, I've smoked the marijuana before. Really didn't
think I was cool. And I was just like this weird homeschooled kid. And I've always been scared of drugs after my mom. She was my teacher when I was homeschooled. And we took this drug class together. And she was like, if you take this, you will die. It's like that scene in Mean Girls, or he's like, if you have sex, you will die. If you do this, you will die. And that's what it was like. And so I've just always been so petrified of even experimenting, touching, like, whatever. And it's just a personal thing. Like I said, if that's what you do, like no, no judgement at all, but I'm just so scared of doing that. So I've never ever done any drugs. I've never smoked a cigarette. I've never done like, vape nothing, anything. And so yeah, it's it's funny, because we always like when we get together, the girls always like talking about our crazy, you know, college experiences now like thinking about like, I really wasn't that crazy. And I had like people like gaslighting me into thinking that I was like this big party girl. And like, I just go drunk here and there. Like, that's it. Like it wasn't that bad. And like, roll out to have a little fun here and there. Right? So yeah, so that was fine. So I was there for the opening of X golf. And it basically just like sit there, do a little meet and greet, take some pictures, talk to people. Those are really fun, because I get to actually meet people and talk to them for a little bit. And it's not just like a quick like, Hey, what's your name? Okay, picture by like, you actually get to know them. And that's what I really like. I like getting to know the people who follow me and support me and spending time talking to them. It's always so much fun. So that was the last trip. And then I had to come back to Colorado because I had another shoot with points, but and then I have to go to New York for another shoot with points that and then I had to go back here because I'm doing a lot of content. But I wanted to get into some TNA to wrap this episode up. So let's get right into it.
So I want to finish this episode up with some TNA. I asked you guys a while ago on the playing run Instagram account about relationship questions. And you guys seem to really like that. I didn't answer all of them. So let's just dive right into it. The first question is how to keep relationship fresh, even after a long time, I think that you need to always stay in that dating phase where you make an effort to go out to make each other a priority. That's always so much fun for me when I'm about to go out on a date. And I'm getting ready because I want to look great for him. And you just have those butterflies and you make the effort to plan the day and to do something romantic stuff like that, I think really does keep it fresh, you can get into this rhythm, especially in a long term relationship where it's boring and redundant. And you just sit in the couch, you don't take care of yourself, and you get comfortable. And so it's always being uncomfortable in the relationship and always pushing yourself and pushing your partner and planning new dates and trying to be spontaneous. And I know that's probably harder with kids and I don't have kids. So I can be a little bit more spontaneous. But making that effort to go on dates and have fun and be romantic, I think always keeps the relationship fresh and fun. Next question is how do you continue to do what you do now in the trolls are out in full force. At this point, I've been doing this for such a long time. And I don't really think it's a surprise of what I'm going to post or what I'm going to say and people are always going to have misconceptions about who I am. And this happened recently, which was really frustrating. There was this country club that had been begging me to come out to their course and to post there and to do some content there. And I'm always really hesitant when it comes to new courses because I know that my content isn't everyone's cup of tea, and it can rub people the wrong way. And so I only like going to courses that are really understanding of the clothes and I'm going to wear and I know I have a bit of a rebellious side, but I'm not disrespectful. And so if a course is uncomfortable with dress code, I won't go there all wear something different and I always ask beforehand is this okay? Can I wear this this is the content that I shoot. I'm going to continue to wear clothes that are similar to this is that, okay? And most of the time when I go to courses that I feel will align with, you know, my brand. And when I'm doing and majority of the time, they're public golf courses. And the guy next to me is run cut offs, and jean shorts. And that's okay. And so that's why I really like going to public golf courses, because there really isn't that much of a dress code, and everything is just so relaxed. And so I get really hesitant when it comes to country clubs, because they have their own little set of rules. And I get that, and that's fine. And each different country club has its own culture, and you have to respect that. So this course was reaching out over and over again. And they seemed really cool. They love the content that I was shooting, and they just wanted me to shoot there. So I was like, okay, cool. So I did one thing there, no problem, they loved it, it was definitely on the very racy side. And again, no problem at all, they welcomed it. And I was shooting other other pieces of content at different golf courses, they reached out and they're like, Hey, we don't want that we only want you explicitly at our course. And I was like, Okay, well, it's close. Like, it's gonna be easy. They were really cool. And they obviously know the kind of content that I'm shooting. So I go out again, shoot all of this content. I met everyone there from like, their general manager, to their manager, to the head Pro to the assistant Pro to the Greens keeper to the you know, everyone on there, like freaking staff, I met, even like the wives of some of them I met, and everyone was so cool. So understanding, and they were watching me shoot this content. And so I'm there and I'm shooting this content, and everything was fine. They like tag us tag us. I'm like, Okay, fine, like, Oh, you guys have been nice to me, I'll do it. And then a couple of days ago, they reached down, they're like, you have to remove all of your tags, because the members are very upset. And I'm like, what's what. And so those are the things that happened to me almost daily. And a lot of it is online. But a lot of it happens kind of in person too. And apparently, like the Karen's were upset with what I was wearing. And I'm still trying to get the full story. But I was really upset about that, because it makes me look disrespectful. And they should have known the culture of their their members and their membership. And it just makes me look stupid. And that's what I don't like, I don't like being put in positions where I can get that type of hate because I get it so much online that I don't like to feel uncomfortable when I'm shooting my content on a golf course, because I really don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong. But people are so butthurt over some cleavage, and I was even more in color. And just because I was showing some cleavage and a little bit of midriff. It was like the world was ending. And it was so disrespectful. And I just wish that they had my back because they were so cool to me. They watched me shoot it, there was so many opportunities for them to be like, Hey, we don't agree with this, or we don't like this. And I shot on off hours. So I wasn't even keeping anyone up. I was again highly respectful of everyone there. When I was off the course and walking around. I had my jacket on all the way zipped up. A lot of people don't realize that too, because I was like, how do you get away wearing that stuff? Well, one, I asked, make sure everyone's okay with it. And to I bring a jacket. And so when I am not shooting my content, which is away from everyone else, I'm completely covered up because again, I always want to be respectful. And so that was really hard to hear and really frustrating. But there's so many things like that where I am, like shamed for what I'm wearing and what I'm doing. And that's when it's hard. And it's frustrating. So to answer that question, I keep doing what I'm doing because of situations like that, because I feel like the culture does need to change within golf. And people are so fucking stuffy, and light sticks up their buttholes
take it out and have fun because that's not what golf is bad. I talked about this at the beginning of the episode. Golf is about connecting with so many different people. And it doesn't matter what you're wearing, if you're playing music on the golf course, matters. If you're respectful to your playing partners, and you're respectful to the golf course. And me wearing some having a shirt with some cleavage doesn't mean that I'm not going to fix my ball markers or I'm not going to fill my divots or I'm not gonna be nice to my playing partners. That's just not what it is. It's about and so it's just so shocking to me that dress code makes such big difference. And hey, again, if those are the rules at your country club and you want to be a member at that country club because you like that culture, go for it. I'm not saying that. That shouldn't be the case but I was really frustrated that they brought me in made me feel welcome to then be shamed. I don't like that. So I don't know if I really answered that question but I keep doing what I'm doing because I have to when I want to and most of the time it's to make a statement when I'm wearing certain things. It's just make a statement because there's one thing about me I'm petty, I'm very, very petty, something that I'm working on with my therapist. But I just don't like when people make others feel bad for not doing anything wrong for the way they want to live their life or the way they want to dress. And just because it's not what you would do doesn't mean you have to make anyone else feel really shitty about what they're doing. And so that's why I wear what I wear. I do what I do, because I think it's stupid. And I'm standing up for the people who feel like they have to change to make other people happy, miserable people happy. And that's not what I'm all about. I'm three under on 16 T and finished bogey bogey. How do I process this? So this goes back to why it's important to play from the front tees, because you need to switch your mindset over into thinking, Okay, I'm already three under let's get it to six under you have three left, you're 16 1718 Let's get it to six under instead, you're thinking how do I keep it where it is, I can shoot in the 60s for the first time or that I can shoot in the 60s. And so it's changing your mindset over and being aggressive instead of protecting your score. So that's why you want to move to the front teeth and practice going low. Because you really do have to train yourself to be able to think that way. And it takes a lot of time and practice physically and mentally to be able to get in that mindset and to know how to attack pins and when to attack pins. And you know seeing those putts drop in and, and being nervous when you are three under on 16. And knowing how to handle that. That's why that drill is so great. How do you balance your business drive with your relationships? It's been really difficult. To be honest, I don't think that I have managed that. Well in the past, I think it's finding someone who supports you and your goals and your dreams. And I found someone now who also has a really great career, and he works insane hours, he doesn't have social media. And we're very opposite in so many ways. But we both understand our work schedules. And it works for that reason he loves to work, it's it's part of his identity. It's what brings him the most happiness. And I'm also realizing that as well, that work brings me a lot of joy in my life. And it's nice being with someone now who lifts me up for working hard and wanting to work hard. I think it's finding someone who understands that I sometimes I value work over quality time. And it sounds so bad to say but if I don't feel fulfilled and my own life, then I'm not going to be great in a relationship. And that's something that I've learned you do have to be almost selfish in a way to be better in a relationship. And I've learned that through therapy, instead of giving all that I have to someone else, you do have to find things away from that relationship that brings you joy, and work is one of those things that brings me a lot of joy. And so finding someone who understands that and accepts me for that. What's the best advice for a guy who's extremely self conscious? Well, yeah, this one, this one's hard, because I am also, I'm also very self conscious. And it's something that I have to work through every single day, and especially just my appearance and relationship and with my friends and not overthinking everything. So I have a lot of anxiety. And so that makes me overthink and then I get self conscious, because I'm thinking that no one likes me or they don't want to be around me or that they're mad at me. And so what I do that really helps me is getting my mind off of it. So maybe it's going for a walk with my dog, Nico or maybe it's working or working out. It's distracting yourself from all of those negative self talk. So that's the reason why you feel so self conscious is because of your negative self talk, you are talking to yourself as if you are an internet troll. You're saying that you're fat, you're ugly, you're not smart, and no one likes you and all of these things. And you should be your own best friend. And so this sounds so stupid, but stay in front of the mirror, or write it down but write your best qualities out and start building yourself up. Because if you're not nice to yourself, then no one else is going to be and it takes a lot of time to build that confidence. But that comes from within it doesn't come from other people. So find what makes you feel good. And it's very individualized again, for me, it's working out it's walking my dog. I love going on my walks. That's something that I have to do every single day I tried to go for an hour to walk, I listened to music, I try to stay off my phone and I just clear my mind. So find things that make you feel happy. And write down things that you love about yourself. That's something that I've really been trying to work on because it is easy. You too, get in this vicious cycle of negative self talk where you just don't feel good about yourself. And so every night, I just stand for in the mirror and I say, You know what page
funny, you're nice.
You have nice eyes, you have a nice smile, you have a great boobs, whatever it may be. And again, it's so individualized. But find things that you feel good about yourself. And then don't let anyone else tell you differently. Someone said, just wanted to say that I could listen to you all day, you could be reading out a grocery list, and I would be entertained. lobby will say my voice is really annoying. And I don't know how to not make it annoying. But I have a bit of like the valley girl plus vocal fry. And I just always sound like I'm going to cry. So I've been trying to work on my vocals and doing vocal exercises. But I don't want to sound like everyone else, because I think you do get this announcer voice and I can't even do it because I can't because my voice is annoying. But I have been working on that because I don't people think that my voice is annoying. Last question is how is your life going? Are you satisfied with your life? And decisions that you have made? Do you have any regrets? I'm really happy with where my life is right now. There's been a ton of growing pains. And I have learned a lot from some good decisions and some bad decisions. But I think all of those decisions make you who you are. So no, I don't regret anything that I have done. There's things that of course, I wish I did differently. But again, I think they really do make me who I am. And I've learned from them. And I think that's the best thing that I have done in my life is learn from all of my mistakes and, and getting help when I needed to get help and, and knowing that it's okay to not be okay. And I know that's very cliche, but I knew that during some certain hard times in my life that I needed a therapy and, and I was making poor decisions because I had unresolved trauma in my life, or I've gone through some very hard things in my life. And so I knew that I needed to seek therapy and to work on myself. And so no, I don't regret any of the decisions that I've made, because it has led me to this moment in my life where I am starting to feel fulfilled for the very first time. In my life, I've gone through so many ups and downs. And there were so many points from Bosch as far back as I could remember when I was very, very young, to college to you know, even very recently, where I would just wake up and I wasn't happy, and I wasn't looking forward to waking up and I didn't have any passions or drive or motivation, I would just wake up and I'd be like
this, it's like, this
is my life. And I just I was I wasn't happy with so many things around me. And I was able to make that change. And I could not have made that change without going to therapy and growing from all of those experiences. But I think life is the best that it has ever been. I think the first time in my life, I'm being very selfish, when it comes to focusing on myself and working on myself growth and being the person that I want to be. And in return that is making me a better sister, it's been making me a better daughter, it's been making me a better friend, a better girlfriend, a better business partner, all of the above, I've really just grown a lot as a person. And because of all of those mistakes that I have made, and I'm excited to wake up, I'm excited about my work. I'm excited about the people in my life. And I love my family and my friends, and everyone in my life is so incredibly supportive. And so I'm really satisfied with where my life is headed. I don't know what's going to happen next. Everyone always asked me like, what's your five
year plan? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know, I just want
to be happy. And I want to work on becoming happy and being happy and truly, genuinely happy not just this Act of, you know, pretending like I'm happy and that comes down to being fulfilled and finding out what makes me feel fulfilled. So I think I've answered this question kind of in the same way and all the other ones but yeah, I think it's just focusing on yourself and it's okay to be selfish and to work on you and not giving everything you have to other people because that really does drain you. So that is all for today's episode. I really hope you enjoyed and don't forget to subscribe to the podcast leave five star maybe read a nice Review share with your friends too. I mean all of the above. I appreciate any support you guys throw my way that was really warms my heart when I meet new people and one of the first things that they say is that they listen to this podcast and they love this podcast. And it keeps me motivated to keep this going to keep putting episodes out and to keep improving and keep getting better. So I want to thank you for all of your support and telling me when you see me that you like the podcast because it really does mean a lot to me. And again, yeah, thanks for listening and I'll catch you next time.
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