Intuitive Healer Meets Bumble Crush: The One Who Got Away, Day 2

6:47PM Jun 24, 2022

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Whatever happened to the one who got away? Haven't you always wondered, today

we're bringing on a guest with a burning question in their hearts. And we'll see if the stars will the answers for them. I'm Alicia i.

And I'm Sarah window. Welcome to lovestruck daily where we bring you love and happiness in small doses every day. I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. Alicia, I have a question for you. Sure. She I know that you grew up with astrology and having family members read your whole star chart and all of that. And we've talked about how I'm relatively new to this. Do you find that your interest in things like astrology and psychic mediums and divination? Do you find that your interest grows as you grow older?

In a way? Yes, in ways where I kind of just want to know that everyone I love is going to be okay. Yes, yeah. But, you know, I grew up with family members who were very, very interested in knowing all the details and all the specifics and every little itty bitty thing. I don't like knowing everything to that detail, because I think it's important for us to have, I think we have free will either way, but I would like to just not know, I would like to just go and do my own thing. But within the confines of Yeah, I still believe in something else sort of guiding me. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. It makes sense. Yeah. And I think it's important to, you know, understand what is it you're trying to address by asking these questions, right? What does this knowledge give you? And it's almost always a sense of control and security.

It is. I remember when I was single for a very long time, and my mom used to ask my uncle like, she's never gonna get married. Is she ever gonna get married? Is there a curse? You know, what's going on? And my uncle said to her, Oh, no, we have something in our house in our family's house. You know, we have some people who just don't get married till they're 39. I was one of them. You know, his sister was one of one of my aunts was one of them. And she's one of them. She's got that in her in her stars, too. And after that, I mean, this was three years ago, my mom chilled out completely. And when I told her, you know, Kai and I were getting married back in February, and she knew well before because he very cutely called her beforehand, and, you know, got her blessing. But she knew about this. And I said, you know, we're, it would be so cool if we could get married in the next few months. And she said, Oh, no, you're gonna be 39. And I going to be 39. So she's right. He's right. But also like, I'm okay with that. Just having been how it shakes out.

And it's okay to not know,

it's okay to not know. Yeah, yeah. Well, today, we're

going to try to find a little bit of knowing just a little. We have two very special guests. Joining us today, we have Ava, who has always wondered what happened to the perfect girl they met on Bumble, only to move to Germany and lose all touch. And to help out Eva, we're joined by Jennifer Joseph. Jennifer is an interactive, intuitive healer and medium. Her background is in holistic health. And she spent several decades studying spiritualism and Metaphysical Science, wondering what all of this means. Well, we cannot wait to find out. Welcome Eva and Jennifer. I am so pleased to have you here. Jennifer. Yes. Welcome. Thank you tell us what do you do? What is your what is your practice? Okay,

so I am what I call a feminine energy initiator. So what that is really talking about is there's this aspect of all human energy systems. This has nothing to do with any ideas of gender or things of that nature. It's just the way these energies move in our universe, right? And the feminine is very much about being open to life's experiences, being able to accept what life is showing us at this moment. And taking the invitation to go deeper within ourselves and discover something new that we didn't know was there before. And this tends to transform people's lives, the subtlest realisations from this true state

of being open. So Eva, tell us your story about the one who got away.

Right. Okay. So, I'd say it was about November of 2021. And I saw this girl on Bumble and I I don't know, I didn't have any luck with Bumble in the past. But she seemed really cool. And she was so pretty. So I figured, you know, why not. And she matched with me. And we wound up having the best conversation I've ever had on there. So I asked her for coffee found out she lived right, right by me. And a couple of days later, we went got coffee went thrifting, we went a bunch of places and had the greatest time, it was just the best first date I had ever had better than any conversations I've had with best friends in recent history. So we kept seeing each other as often as we possibly could. And then I was really thinking, I might ask her out, like, formally, kind of not to use old terms, but go study. And then one day, we were talking and she was like, I really need to just get this out of the way because it's starting to make me nervous. And I was like, All right, yeah, no anything. And she said, I am actually moving back to Germany in January. And she had just been here visiting.

That was two months. Oh, yeah. Oh, god, my heart just sank for you. My heart just plummeted to my feet for you. Oh, no,

I tried so hard not to show it in the moment. I just nodded. And I was like, Yeah. And she said, I don't want to start anything serious because I hate to lose you as a friend. So can we just be friends so that we can stay in each other's lives? And I, at this point, I loved her personality and just her as a person so much that I was never gonna say no to that. So I said, Of course, even though it kind of broke my

heart a little bit. Oh, yeah, that sucks out loud. I mean, no question. That's terrible.

Yeah. And then that was just like the beginning of our Hangout that day. I spent the entire rest of the day trying not to be upset. She was like, I do like you and I, if I was staying, I think we definitely would have been together. And I feel like that hurt worse. So yeah, then January comes around, we say goodbye. And then actually, just a couple of weeks ago, she came to visit. And she had gotten like, she had like a fling with a guy while she was gone. But she had told me about it. We were just talking about everything and my love life recently. And it still just felt like it should have been her. It was really rough saying goodbye to her a second time knowing that she was going back to Germany for who knows how long Yeah, because I knew she was coming back. But now I have no idea that extent she's coming back. Oh, and I'm from New York. So it's quite a long way off. So that's pretty much my story. And it bothers me every day.

Do you still talk to her? Do you still message with you every day? So you guys are really good

friends now? Yeah, yeah. And I wouldn't trade that for having had something go wrong, but not talk to her anymore.

My heart aches for you. My heart aches for you going on this date and just like trying to hold your heart together while you have this date. And like there's a part of you going oh, wow, that hurt. can't show it right now. Got to deal with that later. Oh my gosh.

I bottled that up until the weekend and then ate an entire pint of ice cream and cried

excellent coping mechanisms and support well done. What flavour ice cream? Just curiosity. Oh, it was coffee. excellent choices. We approve. But we support you in this heartache because you make good ice cream choices too. So sorry, that happened. Thank you. All right. So Jennifer, welcome to this this story. I can tell from the video that your heart is also aching. The girl just approaches big balls, emotionally empathy. Now. Welcome to the mushy empathy Show. I'm your host. How you doing?

Yeah, that was that was a touching story. I feel like so many of us have experienced a flavour of that. And yes, that reminders, it's a heart opener

for sure. Yes. And everyone has been through that moment, which is so difficult. In this situation, how can you help Ava? I want to put you two together. And, and I appreciate both of you letting me be here for this moment because I know this is very intimate. And this is, like I said very squishy, vulnerable feelings. Let me put you two together. And Jennifer, what can you do in this moment for Ava?

Well, first of all, Ava, I just want to say hello, hi and I felt your heart the entire time you were expressing that I could feel the tension and that back and forth between this expanded state of your heart where we're seeing someone and just truly loving their expression. And also that contraction of feeling like We were so close, but no cigar. Yeah, so just want to tell you that I feel you in that experience. And I want to just invite you, let's just take like a few deep breaths together, and see if we can kind of anchor your awareness, low we're in your body, because I could feel you very much up here. And we just want to try and drop it down a little bit lower. So take a deep breath in through your nose, kind of slow, and then hold it at the top for a moment, we don't want to be uncomfortable, then let it go. And kind of just feel, see if you can sense these channels lower in your body starting to open up, you might be able to feel a little bit more energy, maybe a little tingling as you continue to deeply breathe like this.

Yeah. And just

feeling you open up. That's beautiful, beautiful. So from this space, there's a little bit more open space.

I want to ask you,

what is it that you saw in this woman that you really, really felt ignited by like it was a desire being met.

I think it was just the way she was able to quickly go with anything that I was thinking. Whereas in my life, I found a lot of people kind of look at me funny when I just speak my mind. She was very receptive. And very warm. And haven't found a lot of people like that.

So I'm feeling like a deeper thread in there. And I want to ask you, does it feel like you received a sense of belonging that you hadn't experienced before?

Yeah, yeah, I definitely think so. Because she had a mind like mine. And it's the kind of thing that's very rare. I feel for everyone. Just to find someone that can match your energy. Yeah, on so many levels.

And feeling like, there's this this deep, deep desire for resonance, with another being where we get into each other's energy field. And like, there's just this open flow of communication.

Yeah, I feel like I spent a lot of my life especially since to the majority of people, I'm closeted. I feel like I've spent a lot of my life trying to make sure my thoughts aren't heard. And to have people where you can trust that when you are speaking, you are heard and it's okay. That's very special.

Okay, so I'm feeling another thread emerge. And what that feels like to me in this moment, is this deep yearning for intimacy. Yeah. Can I ask you, did you feel any sort of tightness, as I said that? Yeah. So this is what I have discovered in my work with people. So much of the time, we don't get clear on what our desire is, because there's this sensation that we have labelled yearning. That's like the cloak of the desire. Yearning, I have come to understand, is a desire meeting the fear of going unmet. That makes a lot of sense.

Because for everything I want, I feel like there's another larger part of me that is afraid of it.

Yes. This is the bedrock where we can make huge transformations, Eva, simply acknowledging that there's this you know, base layer of us maybe the animal body, maybe our past body, our ancestral body that's holding so many fears. And if I've learned anything from taking quantum leaps in my life, is that every time you're on the the doorway that the threshold of that portal to take a leap. fear and doubt are the bedmates, they come along for the ride. And so often we can feel traumatised by their presence. And we feel that it's some sort of signal to stop to pump the brakes and to stall. What we're really being invited to, as we see these doorways As is to step even more fully into claiming what we desire, right, Eva, do you want someone who is unavailable? We'll be right back after the short break

I feel like that's been a running theme in my life.

I feel like this has got to be a theme of like your Capricorn moon and your Aries rising. Capricorn moon is so easily, like, fixated on the goal, and it's just gonna charge towards it no matter what. And that Aries energy very much is just about the pursuit. But when we're pursuing from a place of not being fully clear on our desire, what I find is we send somewhat of mixed messages. And that starts the chase. That other energy field is like, oh, what's going on here? They've run away. And you're engaged by that. So

you chase definitely makes sense. I think I read these things about the fact that you can have some like, internalised need to, as a lesbian be attracted to people you can't have. Ah, and I feel like even now, when I am more comfortable with who I am, I still experienced that on some level.

Yes. I feel like for all of us, I don't care what stage of our journey we're at. The next thing, we're ready to audaciously claim belongs to us the fear and everywhere in your body that's like, Nope, that's not true. It's going to externalise, we're gonna see it in our outer world, because that like masculine brain, the logical thinking protective brain, it's just like, here's all the places you could get hurt with having that thing.

Almost like the masks that you wear are also reflected back at you, you are hiding part of yourself, but then you are also hiding other people from yourself. Does that make sense? That does make sense, for sure. But please hear from a total stranger, you are very fabulous and deserving of happiness and acceptance from all of the people in your life.

Thank you. Thank you very much. That means a lot to hear.

Absolutely Eva, I know in my body, that human beings are here to express desires, and to have them satisfied. Period. It's the flow of life. It is the gift of experience.

I read recently, we are all horny electrified bags of meat. It's very true. It takes the pressure off to like, Oh, really, I'm just a hearty electrified bag of meat then this is this is really not a high stakes situation.

Truly not. It's truly not the higher the highest stakes we play at is disowning what we truly desire. Yes, that's the highest risk you can actually take in this life is is not to risk. So I want to say Eva, like, amazing job, putting yourself out there connecting with this person, even though you have a past body experience of these Bumble exchanges not going so well. That honestly was your willingness that was your courage coming online? Absolutely. So if I can encourage anything, it's like, take this experience as evidence that you can go out there, open your heart, risk it all and survive, are opening ourselves up by going out and participating with life and allowing ourselves to have an experience when loser draw. Yeah, yeah.

Eva, what do you think you'll do next? Do you have any ideas?

Well, to end on a happier note, there is a girl that I know that I've been friends with for a few months now that I'm kind of sensing she's interested. So we're gonna see where that goes. More exploration. We love that. I, I definitely, I definitely like her. So to have something that goes from a friendship where we're able to get comfortable with each other to something more. I think I'm gonna explore that soon. I'm so happy and this has given me a lot more courage to do so though so thank you.

Courage is the thing that transforms everything. It really does.

Jennifer, where can people find you? If they wish to explore themselves with your help? That's beautiful.

Yeah, I'm on Instagram. And my instagram name is Natural magics. And also you guys can all connect with me and work with me in my container, the temple of embodiment. And you can read all about that offering on my website, which is natural magics.com

Brilliant. And Eva, do you wish to be found on the internet anywhere by

anyone? I yeah, I am actually a writer. I twitter and instagram with my pen name. So you heard my real name here. First, is Avery K books. Got it.

I'm writing it down so I can put it in our show notes. I'm really honoured to have been present for this. This has been really beautiful. And thank you, Jennifer, for being so connective and honest and compassionate. Your compassion is a tangible thing. Thank you both so much for being here and bringing yourself I am I'm honoured to have been part of this. Yes. Thank you so much. This was so beautiful. Thank

you for having me. Sarah,

that was such a great story. What is your love to go for this episode?

I love how open and generous that Jennifer was. And I think the love to go for this one is that your feelings matter. Your feelings are important and you can always reach for happiness. It's okay to take that risk. Oh,

that's so nice. And we would love to hear from you. So please send an email to love Stark daily at Frolik dot media if you have a love story to share or any questions or thoughts. And please follow us on Instagram and Twitter at lovestruck daily

and especial hello and dedication to Allen who is our producer Abby's dad Elon has listened to every single episode and that means so much to us. Thank you so much Alan for being our biggest fan and this episode is a special hello to you. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are produced by Abigail steckler and little Scorpion studios with executive producer frolic media. This is an I Heart Radio Podcast. We wish you a very happy ever after I'm in love with you. The same with you. I'm in love with you