Welcome to the sovereign heart podcast, where we get to talk about what it takes to live love and build relationships from the unlimited potential of your heart. My name is Michaela rose. I'm the polyamorous dating and relationship coach, artist, lover, communication, nerd, total water bender and heart centered weirdo, and I'm so honored to be alive at the same time as you how great is that the world is a changing place, and so are the ways we love and support one another, within and beyond the paradigms of monogamy, polyamory, nonviolent, communication, polarity, tantra, attachment, twin flames, dating, kink and more, there is one thread that weaves us all trust, a nutrient that is only created from a willingness to go first, the discernment to call a red flag red crystal clear Communication and a little bit of faith in the unknown. I am so excited to be on this journey with you. Let's dive in. Hello, sovereign hearted beings, and welcome to another episode of the sovereign heart Podcast. I'm Michaela. Thank you for being here. Thank you for going on this wild journey. We drop podcasts every week on Wednesdays, hopefully, if the week goes well, and I'm so excited to be talking with you today about cleaning house for better sex. And I mean that literally, like so literally. And this episode is inspired and brought to you by me cleaning my house today in its entirety. And I was thinking about this nature of, you know, everybody has their own rhythm or their own cycle when it comes to, let's say like cleaning house, meaning your internal home, but also your external home, the space that you inhabit, the places that you live in, whether you live in a big, beautiful house, a studio apartment in the middle of the city,
out of your van or car, or you're you're a traveler,
and you live in many different places at different times, there is such an essence to becoming more aware of the spaces that you inhabit and how you're interacting with them, and how They are impacting you, and how you are impacting them, and how you can consciously address or change or improve that relationship, to be able to really be able to feel that you can inhabit fully your space, and you can create more of the experiences that you're looking to have, whether that's just feeling more peaceful, feeling more pleasure, having better sex, having better relationships, better communication, your space can heavily impact you if you're aware, like if you if you study, or if you are you Know have gotten into energy, right? At any given time, you understand that all beings, all people, have energy, right? If you, if you do the kind of photography that you can actually take a photo of somebody's aura, or even a piece of fruit or something like that, and you can see the different coloration, you can actually see the energetic field of that person, of that fruit, of that living thing. And so when we're sitting in a home, it might be, you know, natural materials like wood or concrete or something like that. I don't know how natural that is, right? And there's also synthetic materials, but these materials all at some point had to come from something that was living. And so regardless of if it is a table or a chair or a wall or a door, all of these things that we inhabit that support us, the ground beneath us, the walls that keep us, you know, safe from the wind and roof from the rain or snow. I've been getting a lot of that lately. All of these things have an energy. They have, you know, an energetic field, just like a person or just like a piece of fruit would. It's often a lot did it more difficult to really tune into that or really see that as true, because we can see people, we can feel people, we can really, you know, be with what is energy and like, Can I can I feel that? Can I sense into that? Whereas, if you're looking at like a table, it's like, okay, it's a table, you know. Right? But what you can probably notice is how different you may have felt, if you've ever, you know, been like, oh, I have to clean this big mess, or I have to clean my house, or I really have been meaning to clean that back room. And when you finally do it, like, if you can think of and remember a time that you're like, I need to get this thing, even like papers that you need to organize, or even something you know that you need to organize in your own mind, right by by getting everything out, getting everything down, getting all the thoughts out of your head and onto paper, and being able to cross off the stuff that's just bullshit that you don't need and pay attention to the things that you know, do need your attention and support. These are all ways that we organize, we clean, we we kind of recycle, upcycle whatever is going on internally and externally. And you can notice, right? If you tune into one of those memories that you may have had, the difference that you felt afterwards is palpable, right? The space looks different, right? Or how you feel inside feels different. Maybe the air feels a little bit fresher, feels a little bit cleaner. Maybe there's just like a
like a sigh of relaxation, and if it's a clean house, right, or a clean room that was dirty for a long time, or a table that was cluttered and you finally picked it up, or whatever it is, you know that feeling? You know that difference of walking into that house, or walking into that space and going, Oh, I'm so glad that I did that like I'm so glad it's done. It feels so much different. That's energy, right? And so our spaces are constantly interacting with us. You'll actually notice this is, this is wild. But if you notice where the dust bunnies collect in your house, you know, those, those little balls of dust and and stuff that somehow always just end up in the same corners, but not in others. That's actually because that's where energy is most stagnant in your home. And so the dust and the grit and everything that just doesn't have anywhere else to go actually starts magnetizing towards those places. And so it's like the same place that when you don't have or when there's, you know, places in yourself that you don't necessarily look at that often or interact with that often, or don't, you know, muscles you don't utilize it, those kind of things are where all of the stagnation and the, you know, internal bus dust bunnies get all collected as well. So how does this all reply? Or how does this all apply back to sex, love and relationships, as you can imagine, if your space is cluttered, if your space is dirty, if there's like, something that you know, you have heaps of laundry to do, or there's that table that hasn't been cleared off, or even, you know, I, like some People, that you know, there's, you have stuff all over the bed, right? It just sort of happens and you, like, sleep in a corner of the bed, and then there's, like, papers on the bed and all sorts of stuff. And you're like, Okay, I'll get to that. Those kind of things wherever they are in the home, or whatever, that then becomes a space, like an energetic space that you avoid that. You're like, I don't really want to do that. And so if that space is in the bedroom, or if that space is in a room in your home, that could potentially be like a sexy, yummy space to enjoy a deep, juicy, intimate conversation or a pleasurable massage, or, you know, or just spontaneous sex in the kitchen, whatever. If that space is dirty, that energy is constantly kind of impacting you in the background, and there's something in the back of your mind that's letting you know that this kind of thing is what you're interacting with. So if you're somebody that is like, turned on by mess or something like that, then absolutely you know that that may work for you. And then maybe you know, getting turned on by that gives you the energy to go clean it or something like that. But for most people, what I found, and what I found in myself and others is that when there's like a very palpable mess or just like an energetic feeling of, like, heaviness or stagnation, or like, you know, like, you know, anything that makes your face do what my face is doing right now, you can't see me, probably, but, you know, just the scrunched up, like, ah, like, I wish this was different. Like, I wish it was clean. Whatever, anything like that is gonna kind of sit in your system. And so then when you try to engage into a sexy, intimate space with somebody love or with yourself, those things are going to be tracking in the background. So this is not to say that, like you can't ever have good, yummy, juicy, pleasurable because. Experiences unless your house is immaculately clean at all times. That is absolutely not what I'm saying. And I think that that, in and of itself, can actually be a huge distraction and a huge, yeah, just like an allusion to you being able to actually drop in and let go of the of the perfection, you know? So there's a fine line there, you know, it's like, is there an internal this needs to be worked with, or is it an internal kind of thought pattern of like, oh my god, there's, you know, it's not going to be okay unless every single best bunny is, like, gone, and every single thing is has to be in its place, right? So there's kind of a difference there. So this energy right of being willing to interact with your space, being willing to notice and not just simply say, Okay, I gotta like, clean on a schedule, which, like, that's fine, right? Clean on a schedule, clean however you want. And also, can there be a noticing of what is this space actually need from me? Because if we're looking at the space like a living being, like a living breathing organism, what does this space actually need? Maybe it really is screaming for the fridge to be cleaned, and that somehow just creates so much more spaciousness, because you know your food is going into a place that's clean and fresh and healthy, and you're putting that into your body, and then maybe you want to put other things into your body that are delicious and healthy in other ways, right? So there's, there's always kind of these threads. Or maybe, if you tune in and really ask your space, what do you need? Like, what would be most like, what would be the most juiciest, most nourishing thing for me to give attention to? Maybe it's that junk drawer. Maybe it is cleaning the whole house. Maybe it is, you know, a seasonal getting rid of junk, you know, just like organizing and releasing things that you don't need, bringing them to Goodwill or to a clothing swap or whatever it is, really tuning into your space, into the things that you own, right, that you claim as yours, that are that are non physical, right? Or the space that you inhabit. Can you get really curious with that? And can you have a living, active relationship with that, that will then help you know, instead of having to, like you know, have this very rigid interaction with the home, or interaction with your space that it has to be perfect, or something like that. It gets to actually be this vibrant relationship that you get to continue to get curious about, and then you start to know those feelings of, like, wow, I'm starting to feel a little bit bogged down. I'm like, wanting sex, but I don't even feel sexy. Like, what's going on? Like, is there something wrong with me? Is it my relationship? Is it my partner? Is it my job? Is it my this? It's like, well, maybe it's just your fucking house, like, maybe you just gotta give that a little bit of love and attention, you know, and break up the energy a little bit the same way that dust bunnies get stuck. Energy gets stuck, right? We have fights with people. We have emotional outbursts. We have, you know, moments of just feeling really down, or we get like, you know, sucked into TV or Netflix or whatever, and it's just kind of like this heavy like or noisy energy. And we kind of bring that into the spaces. As humans, we bring that into our space. And if we don't take the time to consciously, like, physically clean, but also like energetically, you know, if you could, if you could imagine, you could, like, sweep the energy out of your home in whatever way that that you know, to do that, right? It can be intuitive. I love to do just a, you know, just like a swooshing feeling with my arms straight. And I'll kind of actually allow, you know, and intend that whatever energy is is no longer needed in the home, you know, can, can kind of go out the window and into the universe, universal compost, the universal compost that can turn it back into just life force and into something that can be nourishing for something else. Because stagnating in my home is like not really super nourishing for anyone, especially me or my sex life. So doing these kind of rituals and these kind of practices and getting used to paying attention to your space instead of just making it a chore, it can actually be deeply deeply healing to go on that journey. It can be deeply nourishing and expanding to really be in this living relationship with your space and with what actually. Feels good for you, and what makes you feel like you can just
soften and open and surrender to pleasurable experiences, to sex, to intimacy, if and when that is available with yourself or with another. So this is, this is the main component of what I'm talking about here today is the actual physical cleaning house, the energetic cleaning of the house. But also, also, also, also, there's kind of this other piece to it, right, which is really just a piece of I don't want it to come off. It as advice, but maybe it is advice, but I think it's good advice, so I'm going to say it anyways, and that's to stop complaining about sex, stop complaining about your love life, stop complaining about your partners. So the same way that when you continue to complain about the place that you live or about that room that's continually, continually cluttered, or something like that, or something that you don't like, about the space that you're in, or about the relationships that you're in, or the sex that you're having when you complain about that you're telling your mind and you're telling your body Over and over and over again that this is exactly what you want, because your brain doesn't know the word no. Your brain doesn't know when you're saying, Oh, I'm so sick of this room and all this clutter. Oh, I'm so sick of unsatisfying sex. I don't want this anymore. All your brain is hearing is room full of clutter, unsatisfying sex. And that's it, right? It's just, it's just programming you to be in the room full of clutter is what you want because it's what you're telling yourself. And then unsatisfying sex is what you want because it's what you're telling yourself. You're just putting a no at the front of it and saying, Okay, this is going to help me not have it anymore, but it actually has the opposite effect. So when you consciously decide I'm going to stop complaining about my dirty fucking home or this cluttered room, or this juncture that I haven't gotten to, or I'm gonna stop complaining about my relationship. I'm gonna stop complaining about my partner, about the sex we have, about our love, about the my dating life, about what's out there. I'm gonna consciously decide to stop complaining about this. And it's not always easy, and there's a difference, right? Like I get sometimes you need to vent. You need to talk about a friend. Sometimes it is absolutely necessary to get out the thing right, and to just say the thing that can also be part of cleaning house, right, to write down all of the judgments and the I hate you, and you're so stupid, and you suck at this and I'm so mad, and write all that shit down, burn it in the fire, or, you know, buy a lighter, or whatever, speak it to a friend once, and then take a moment to energetically clear that shit, you know, to throw it out the window and go, Okay, now what's true, what's actually true underneath that, because that's the juice of when you talk about those things, that's what moves the conversation. That's what moves the plot forward a little bit. The complaining just keeps us stagnating. It's the same thing as those dust bunnies. They're just the places where we just continue to complain and stay there and stay stagnant over and over and over again. So when we decide to stop, put a halt to that, and instead go, okay, when I catch myself doing that, I'm just gonna pause, and maybe I'm gonna make it a ritual. Maybe I'm gonna clean house a little bit. Maybe I'm actually gonna physically get up and clean something to get the energy or work out, or, like I said, write it down, speak it to a friend and let it the fuck go. Right? Like, like, let it the fuck go. And I am not somebody that says let it go lightly, because I understand how difficult it is when you feel something, when it's deep, when it's recurring, to simply let it go. I I'm somebody who actually kind of hates that phrase when somebody tells me to just let it go. And so this isn't coming from this place of, oh, you can't have complaints, you can't have judgments. You just need to let those go and never have those because you're going to have them. Your brain is going to have them. The difference is, the difference is between letting your brain have the judgments, and having conscious practices to connect to those judgments, to utilize them for self healing and growth, which is like I said, speaking them at once and then saying, okay, and we don't have to continue believing that, right, and we don't have to continue this stag. Nation. We don't have to continue complaining about this. We get to choose now something different. I get to feel gratitude. I get to feel pleasure. I get to feel something else. Now, right, when you make it a conscious process, it's not, you know, it's not doing the thing of just ruminating in it and letting it control you. Instead, you're channeling it into something new, just like you would channel your energy into cleaning something you can channel your energy into cleaning out your thoughts and doing something with them so that they can turn into something else. And so the stop complaining advice or invitation, rather, is to not bring that internal circuit that's playing in your mind into your life, because when you speak it out loud over and over and over and over again, you are speaking it into an existence. You are telling your body, you're telling your mind, you're telling your partner or partners, you're telling your home, you're telling your whole space, you're telling everything. You're telling the universe. This is what I want. I want to keep experiencing this thing that I'm complaining about over and over and over again. So when you stop that cycle, you get to put a pause in that and you get to make a new choice. So the choice that I'm going to invite you to make right in stopping this cycle. And so all of these things work together, the cleaning house right, the deciding to stop complaining about it. And this third piece of coming into gratitude for what you already have, for what is done and what is not done, for what is and also not just gratitude, but really leaning into just the heart centered, like the sovereign heart centered, possibility of the being that you wish to be in your life, in your life, in Your love life, in your relationships, in your sex life, and really making this invitation. And so I took this, I think I've talked about this on another podcast episode, but
Tasha Silver has a book called it's not your money, and she uses these very similar steps, but for money. And I'm kind of applying them to, you know, to to love and relationships, because it's so similar. And so she has this, this beautiful prayer that's called the abundance change me prayer. And I don't think you need to necessarily know what that prayer is to get the gist of it, but it's really just and what I want to encourage, I don't even want you to go look that up. I want you to, I want to encourage you to actually make your own abundance, change me, prayer, right? Your own pleasure, abundance, love, abundance, sexual abundance, like just gratitude, abundance, just and, of course, financial and everything that can be included, but it's all one in the same, right? And so it's making this declaration, right? You're cleaning house, you're stopping the complaining, and instead, you're making this declaration that you're saying, you know, universe, God, creator, you know, whatever you call source, that which is bigger than you. You know for me, I guess I call it my sovereignty, right, or source, whatever, and allowing that force, that which is always you, that which is always at the core, underneath all of the messiness of life and all of the complaints and all the things, and inviting that in and saying, Please change me. Change me into somebody who can give and receive in complete and total awe and abundance, allowing everything that I need to come to me in such miraculous and dynamic ways, and allowing everything that I need to release to release in beautiful, easeful, fluid ways, allowing this energy of abundance to change you into one that can give and receive in the full openness, in the full power and light and love and the darkness of your sovereignty, of your sovereign heart. And so this is really just an invitation to write into, to lean into, if you could allow this. You know the energy at your core. We're talking about energy and making space, and what are we ever doing but trying our best to come back to what is actually the core essence of myself, my soul, my being, and what's the core essence of the space around me? What's the core essence of my relationships and of. Love that we share and of the sex that we share. And can we simply clear all of the bullshit that's around that and stop worrying about it, stop complaining about it and leaning into this power of okay, deepest core of myself, deepest essence of myself, please come through and allow me to see who I am at this level. Allow me to see what my life is. You know, underneath all the clutter, allow me to step into and to be this version of myself. Allow me to be held in it, to bask in it, to receive it, to give it, to exist in it, and to let that be so simple and to let it be as easy as keeping the keeping the energy internal and external in check. Great, cleaning up, stopping complaining and leaning into this change me, prayer, leaning into this. You know, you can call it a prayer. You can call it a mantra. You can just call it something to focus on, but leading into your version of that. And so I really want to end this episode with inviting you to write down what your version of that would be. And if you need, if you need the thing for, for reference, absolutely, look up Tasha silver abundance. Change me prayer, and it's, it's really good. So you can use that as a jumping off point, but I really encourage you to make your own to use your own language, to make it yours, and to do these things like every day, like every day, I don't mean clean your whole house every day. I certainly don't clean my entire house every day. But there's always one thing right, whether it's a mental clearing or an energetic clearing, you know, moving your physical body, doing a tiny sweep, or, you know, even just washing the dishes, doing one thing again, paying attention to the one thing in your space. And it can also be the one thing in your relationship to yourself to another that just needs a little bit of care and a little bit of love. Doesn't have to be anything dramatic or drastic. It's just showing up to these three things every single day, clean house, stop complaining, come back to gratitude, let the core essence of who you are change you into one who can give and receive love, sex, goodness, pleasure, all of the things in such total flow and such abundance. So thank you so much for listening. Today. I am wishing you a wonderful rental rest of your week, and I know, know that it's a time that many people are with families right now. So it can be, can be a great time to be practicing these things to help yourself come back to gratitude and that core essence, even when there's a lot of clutter coming your way from from thoughts and ideas and opinions from other people. So super important right now during the holiday season to be focusing on these things, because your sex life matters, and your crazy family doesn't need to detract from that. So thank you so much, and I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Okay, bye. You.
