You're a Manager... Now What? - Kristin Bloomquist

4:49AM Feb 28, 2022

Speakers:

Becky Endicott

Jonathan McCoy

Kristin Bloomquist

Keywords:

people

leader

conflict

manage

manager

nonprofit

becky

passion

understand

grow

virtuous

leadership

lives

soft skills

communication

feel

honor

day

helping

friends

Hey, I'm John. And I'm Becky.

And this is the we are for good podcast.

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So let's get started. Hey, Becky,

welcome everybody. Our friend is here.

I know we've been like so excited to have Kristen on the podcast. It's finally here.

I have to like kind of back up the journey and explain the connection points. Because a couple seasons ago, we had Cheryl Miller Hauser on who is one of our most favorite storytellers. She's a documentary filmmaker truly understands purpose. And after she was on, she sent us a message and said, I have somebody you need to meet. And she's extraordinary. And that is the person we have on the podcast today. Kristin Bloomquist, welcome to the podcast. Kristen is this incredible career advertising executive, she spent over 30 plus years, working for huge agencies, you know, leading marketing for little known things like TGI Fridays, and working on all of these incredible brands. And I'm just so excited because she has this innate expertise she has underlying kindness and empathy and what she has, and she's really into growth mindset and growing leaders. And so as she's kind of built her career on building brands and businesses, and the people involved in each now she's sort of leading into the for purpose industry, in teaching nonprofits, social impact. Innovators, how to level up how to move their brands, and how to be a leader that is really inspiring. And I have to tell you, she ends up living three miles from me is the world so small, but someone in your city introduces me to someone who lives three miles from me. So Kristen, welcome to the we are for good podcast. So glad you're here,

John, and Becky, I am honored to be here. And it is kind of a crazy connection that we had, in terms I was in Mexico at the time share was in New York, you guys were here. And now I'm like down the road from you. But I love what you guys do is there's just not enough good in this world. And so it's an honor to be able to join you this morning and talk about something that I'm very passionate about leadership, because I think we're leaders not just in our careers, but in our lives. And while I focus more on career, it's leaders like you who are changing the world, in your lives and in your in your roles we are for good. So again, really excited to join you both.

Well, that was generous, such an honor. And it actually it really what you just said not the specific part about us. Everybody is a leader is something that we've been diving into, especially since we have a lot of young professional listeners or even individuals who are new to the nonprofit sector. And we keep trying to underscore the fact that you are a leader and anyone can rise to this. So I do think that there's something to be learned by anyone that's listening today. But we want to get to know you like take us back. Tell us where you grew up. And yeah, how your career path led to this moment. today.

I'm a Midwestern girl by heart I was born in Iowa, grew up in Ohio, and then got the adventure bug I spent a year in New Zealand in high school as an exchange student. My parents thought I was crazy. But I moved to New York right after and then I went east to college moved to New York started a crazy career in advertising that spanned multiple cities. And as you said, 35 years and I, you know, I love the industry. But what I also kind of loved along the way was learning from really smart people. And I saw lots of different leadership styles, good, bad, ugly, fabulous. And it became kind of a passion of mine to differentiate between what makes for you know, somebody who can inspire a team and who can build up others. And ultimately, as I trained as a coach, and ultimately, as you said, five years ago, my another adventure, my husband and I decided to move to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and there weren't really many advertising agencies in Cabo. Not a whole lot. So I decided, you know, it's time I wanted to start my passion, business blue mentoring, and I focus really on helping people be their best in their lives and in their careers. And that obviously opens the door to leadership. So I work with people on mainly the softer skills, they know their jobs, they know you know, the technical functional aspects of what to do on a day to day basis, the projects they have to manage, but often and it's funny, your guest. On a recent podcast, Mark Pittman said this, he said you know, Lee Young managers don't often get trained, they get promoted. because they were really good at their job. But then all of a sudden, they're moved into this role of having to help others and lead others and manage people and they don't know what they're doing. So whether it's a young professional or a seasoned leader, I really focused on some of those softer skills that are often referred to as emotional intelligence, but communication and empathy and optimism and gratitude, and really understanding how to use your own emotions and understand the emotions of others to help you make better, more impactful kind of connection and impact in the world and with your, with your people. So I love what I do. I'm very blessed to be able to have transitioned from one space into a new space and work with people all over the country.

Well, you can see why we are kindred spirits. For listeners that listen to the podcast, there's so much like mindedness here, and I couldn't help but think as you're telling your story, like, I felt like that leader, you know, I was kind of the overachiever type personality and got promoted because of those skills, but not promoted because I was a good manager of other people. And I think you have that awakening and realization. I think this is a parry barrier, that sometimes the only way to move up in a smaller shop is to start managing more people. And that wasn't necessarily the skill I was great at. But it led to those opportunities. So, okay, I love that you love mentoring. I want you to mentor us in this conversation, like, let's talk to Bill later. Yeah. Let's think about this. Like for those that are listening, that are feeling themselves in that place, maybe they are coming into a new role or their expanded leadership, can we talk about just some good grounded advice of what do you do in becoming a new manager,

if it's your first role, or maybe not your first role, but you're relatively new to this idea of being a manager, you know, somebody might report in to you or you might have a team reporting and do. The first thing I'm gonna say is to step back and kind of help you reframe it, you do more than managing someone, you manage projects with people, I want you to think about your role in a broader light. Leadership is a privilege, leadership is an honor, it's not about just getting a new title. And as Simon Sinek has said, I love this quote, leadership is not just about being in charge, it's about taking care of the people in your charge. And helping them to be their best helping them grow by providing a challenging, but also supportive environment. So my first tip to somebody who's just gotten promoted has manager in their title is to say, You know what, I'm more than a manager. I'm a leader. And that's an honor and a privilege. Another tip is that people kind of don't tell you is, it can be hard to manage people, it's a lot easier doing the work than it is to helping people grow. And a lot of times I hear from young managers, I don't like to delegate, I feel guilty putting more work on someone else's plate, or I know I could do it faster and better.

Yeah, we're all raise our hands at this point. Yeah. And you know, with

that attitude you're doing yourself, but also these new reports and do a disservice, you're missing an opportunity to teach them and to help them grow. A third tip, you know, for new managers is take the time to get to know your people. They're not just workers, they're humans. And they, you know, we've gone through a really tough, last 22 months where work and lives are blurred, you may not be going into an office, your office might be the desk down the hall or your bed room. And people are some people are really isolated. Some people are just really overwhelmed. So even as a young manager, you've got somebody reporting into you, they may be feeling that way. And they need to know you care about them as people and as humans check in on their lives. Ask them what can I be doing more of or less of to support you? What's going on with your family? And last tip is the power of a thank you. Have you ever somebody just ever thrown out thank you out of the blue to you and you're like, Wow, that really felt good? Well, it can be huge and helping somebody else grow to realize that they're appreciated. And my favorite story about the power of a unique thank you is, you know, and I don't know her personally, but I do a lot of studying. Indra Nooyi who used to be the CEO of PepsiCo used to write 400 letters a year to thank not her employees, she sent those letters to their parents, because she recognized the insight or she had the insight that no matter how old you are, you still want to make your parents feel proud. And the her employees love that. Obviously the parents loved it. But it was such a unique way to show appreciation and have an insight about the people who worked for her. So, you know, again, reframe your role. You're a leader, not just a manager, take the time to give people the opportunity to learn and grow. Check in with them. They're humans. And don't forget to show appreciation. Those are some things that no one told me when I was a new manager I wish I would have known much earlier in my career.

I think the thing that I love so much about what you just said is, it almost seems like common sense these things that you're bringing up. And yet, we forget them so often in our cultures, because we're in hustle culture. Right now we're in grind. And we're, I mean, I think I love that you brought up the point about the blurred lines between professional and personal. I mean, there's no way to step away from work. Work is now at home. And so I think we're feeling that a lot as a digital company right now. But I think harkening back just to those soft skills, and seeing human beings, giving grace, giving accolades that literally cost nothing, I love that example, from Pepsi, because there's nothing more disruptive in 2022 than a handwritten note. And to get that from a CEO of a Fortune 100 company, like would just be next level, and to the parents is such a cute touch. So, I mean, I want to talk a little bit about common myths that I think people don't understand and leadership. And I will tell you, I was a super young leader. And I was like, leading the blind felt like the blind leading the blind many, many times because I was just kind of working it out, accelerate us past that course, and tell us that some common myths that we can avoid?

Well, the big one is that we think we choose when to communicate. That's the myth. The reality is we can't not communicate, everything we do is communication to the people around you, whether it's your facial expressions, your body language, your tone of voice, what's said and what's not said, that's all communication. And I remember, you know, telling my team when I was a new leader, I'm coming and see me anytime my doors always open back in the days where we actually had an office, and no one came in, and I couldn't figure it out. And I probed, said, You guys, you're welcome to come in and ask me questions. They, the input I got was, you're always kind of hunched over your computer on the phone, and you look so intense, we don't want to interrupt you. And it was like, I didn't realize the power of my body language, and the fact that I was shutting people down before they even stepped through the door. So the bottom line was new managers. And this is true of any leader, you have a much greater impact because of your title than you may know. And how you show up, not just what the words you say, but how you show up in terms of presence, really can impact those around you in great ways, but also in ways that can create walls between you. So you, that's the big myth that I really try to help young leaders understand is that you think, you know, when you're communicating, but there are a whole lot more aspects of communication than just the words on a page or the words that come out of your mouth.

Yeah, well, I think you're such an expert in the area of communication, because I do think it's kind of everything, you know, in our personal lives, for sure, and in how that carries and shows up in the workplace to so we kind of talk about this talk about the different communication, you know, things that are faced for new managers, you get to communicate up into the left and the right and down and not in a hierarchical sense. But there's just people that need different messages need different styles. And it's kind of like you're always in that place. How do you reconcile that?

And can I tell that like piggyback on that and say, I think it's overwhelming right now to be a manager, because there's so many communication platforms. Before it was like you either walk into somebody's office or you send them an email, you've got slack. Now WhatsApp, text, I mean, people are displaced and remote. And I do think that that puts more challenge on them too. So please talk about communication channels as well, if you can.

I'm gonna start there, Becky, because that that actually relates directly to managing up down and sideways as I call it, first of all, people don't really realize and it kind of goes back to the myth and reality of communication. There's a hierarchy of communication channels. And the best is always in person. Because you can read body language, you can see their faces. Well, guess what, these days we don't really often get that every day all the time. So the next best is zoom or teams or a video connection, because at least you can see a face. The Second best is phone. And with millennials and young professionals, this is a tough one because they hate the phone, except for texting. But at least with a phone call, you can hear tone of voice. And so things like communicating input or giving direction or trying to guide someone and how they could do something better. Always best done either on video chat or video call or in person or by phone. Slack and email and text are kind of the lowest rung of the ladder. Yeah, they're awesome for certain things like you know forwarding on A quick yes or no answer or being able to communicate something that's just 123 points, the words, and the the black and white text gets lost in terms of sometimes how people interpret it. You know, again, when you're thinking about communication channels, and you're managing a direct, a new direct reports, somebody who's newly coming into you, or even you're managing up to your boss, think about what do I want to communicate? What impact do I want to make, and what's the best channel, my go to channel may be text or slack. But if I've got to give some tough love, or some big news, is that really the right way to communicate that input? Probably not. And so it's look at the palette of channels that we have. And say, isn't a great we have all these options, but figure out which is the best for which job, because again, as you mentioned, John, with with new managers, or any leader, for the most part, you're managing up, you have a boss, somebody who's above you, if you're on a nonprofit board, at your nonprofit director, it might be your executive board. If you're the head of fundraising, it may be your executive director and the board. But recognizing that you need to be accountable, you need to be proactive, you need to seek to understand what they expect from you. So you got to think about that those things. When you manage up. It's not just they're my boss, they'll tell me what they need me to do. Now, you've got to be proactive, and what do you want them to be thinking about and knowing from you, when you're managing down, it's back to having those people that are maybe newly reporting into you, and all of a sudden, you've got teammates that can do your work? Well, no, it's not about them doing your work for you. It's about you have this privilege and opportunity to be teaching and coaching and inspiring them. And you know, as we talked about a moment ago, appreciating them when they do a job well done, listen to them to understand what might be in their way. So you can figure out how to help them through it. It's not about doing their job for them, but a bit about providing them with that environment where they can grow and learn. And one that's often lost is the power of managing sideways. Most people in big companies work on teams, and they need other people to be able to be effective in their own roles, and they need those peers to want to work with them. And you know, how do you do that? Well, the foundation of any great team is trust. And trust is such an important thing to build, whether it's managing up, down or sideways, but on a team, you know, the starting point for building trust is doing what you say you're going to do, you know, be accountable to your words by following up with them on actions, and also build the kind of rapport where people want to do something for you. They don't, it's not like you're just dragging them along. And that's partly inspiring. It's partly showing up with a presence and a persona that you know it, people kind of know what they get, they're excited to spend time with you.

You know, I talk with people a lot about what I call the three P's. The three P's for this is for a senior leader or new leader, your performance, your passion, and your persona, obviously, in any role you need to perform. But if you're a new manager, it's about not only what the goals are for yourself, but have you clearly communicated your your peeps what their goals are. Because performance is important. As much as me you know, may want to avoid it, you've got to perform. But that's not it. Passion is what excites you know what, it's what drives you. It's why you get up in the morning. And you know what passion inspires other people. When you go in as a new leader or as a seasoned leader, and are clear on your passion, what excites you and you show that to others, they want to follow you it's like bees to honey or moths to a flame. Passion inspires other people, whether it's teammates or direct reports, or clients. It's exciting to be around somebody who shows their passion. And third, your persona. That's kind of how you show up every day. It's how you build trust. It's how you demonstrate your values. One of the key qualities of emotional intelligence and self regulation, it's your ability to manage your own emotions. You don't want to be the Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde leader that one day you show up and you're in a great mood and you're happy and then the next day, you're like, yelling at everybody, they don't people don't know what they're gonna get. And that really is a key thing that can diminish trust versus build trust. So if you think about what's my performance goals, and one of those of my team, what's my passion, get clear on that, get excited about it. Don't be afraid to show it. And then be intentional about how you show up. Be conscious about what it is that you want to and how you want to impact those around you. And that level of consciousness kind of elevates you from being just a manager to starting to step into leader shoes.

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I the thing I like so much about what you're saying Kristen, and why I think it's so evolved is that the human being is always at the center of every single decision, not the product, not the KPI not the success, not the mission. It's like we're all working for the mission. But if we can put incredible value behind the human being and what they're bringing to the table and how we can all together together, it makes such a safer environment. It makes for a place where you feel valued, that you can be invested in I also think that when you have that level of trust, you share more, you ask for more, which is what we want. We want people asking for professional development, we want them asking, how can we innovate what we're doing? How can we use a new tool? How can we try something differently. And so all of what you're saying right now is going to build a healthier, healthier culture, it's going to build a healthier team. And the output of that is gonna be more money raised if you're in a nonprofit organization, or more programs, more people getting whatever that in service is. And so I just can't underscore enough how important I think what you're saying is, and I think this focus on soft skills, is something that we have woefully forgotten about when we've been developing ourselves as leaders. And so I want to transition just for a second because I think one of the things in John's about to get really uncomfortable as our Enneagram, nine peacemaker is want to talk about conflict, because a lot of people struggle with conflict. And I think especially as a new leader, that's something that taking that initiative and addressing something that's really uncomfortable as hard. Give us some tips about how people can manage conflict, especially when someone is deeply uncomfortable with it.

That's a great question, Becky. And it's definitely one that I wished I'd learned how to do or feel comfortable with way, way earlier. You know, the first thing is, when we frame something as tough or difficult, we're going to go into it with that attitude. But as a leader, if you frame it as I'm having this conversation, because I care about you as a human, and I want to help you grow. And it may be tough for you to hear some of this input, but it's all in the spirit of wanting to help you be your best. It makes that conversation take on a different dynamic. It's, it comes out of a place from the heart. And if your check, if you check in with yourself as a leader or a boss before you have what you might consider a tough conversation or dealing with some kind of a conflict and say, what do I really want to accomplish? How do I want to help these people, then you're going to come at it with that frame of reference and that mindset. The biggest thing also is Don't avoid conflict, the more you let it kind of sit out there, the more it's gonna fester. So the soon as soon as you see or when you see something start to bubble up whether it's conflict between two of your three of your team members or you've got a performance issue situation or an accountability issue. It's about saying i This needs to be dealt with, and I'm going to deal with it with passion and with heart but I'm I'm also not going to jump to conclusions because I need to seek to understand what's going on, I may be seeing it. And in fact, I'm seeing it from the outside looking in right now this conflict is starting with an individual or other individuals. So let's all get together and sit down. Let's talk about what's happening, what's going on who's involved, let's I deal it, even try to name the conflict, can we actually put a name to it and call it something so that we can package it in a way that we know what we're dealing with. And then ideally, we start to get some back and forth dialogue going, that's not just defensiveness. And you start to be able to look at how people might be hurting or might be feeling insecure, or might have been felt judged. And you could start to work through those emotions. And ultimately, what you want to do is create an action plan of how we're going to walk out of here going forward, to move through this together. Those aren't generally one and done conversations, either when you're working through conflict with whether it's a team or an individual or a client or a donor, you you want to follow up. It's not just like, Oh, I've had the conversation gave the input I'm done. Again, you get to step into being a coach and kind of help coach them through to move to the other side of that conflict. So I guess bottom line, come at it with heart and caring from a mindset of how can I help these individuals move through this? help myself? Help them to Don't avoid it? And three, don't look at it as just a one and done? How do you continue to coach these people through it going forward, not just by having a single conversation,

everything you said there was just so brilliant, and I gotta brag on Becky, her posturing of seeking to understand making sure coming at it from the angle of like, hey, you know, something feels off on this. So let's talk about it, and just owning it. And it does just like disarm you. If more people manage like that, from this idea of seeking to understand coming in not just, you know, guns blazing, that something's off. But truly just trying to be empathetic in that approach. I think that we wouldn't fear at least as an Enneagram. Nine, I wouldn't fear that conflict. I love that approach. I love that you thread that through how you coach people, I think it is incredibly brilliant. And honestly the only way to do it in today's world.

Yeah, I think you know, another thing that Brene Brown said, this one's clear is kind unclear is unkind, the clearer you can be and giving somebody growth feedback, for example, or growth input to help them become better, they're going to grow faster. And if you're kind of wishy washy, and don't want to hurt their feelings, and kind of dance around the issue, whether it's a conflict or something as it relates to helping them become stronger in their role, you're ultimately doing us a disservice.

John, very generous, thank you for saying that. But I will say that there are a lot of leaders like myself who hate conflict so much that they want harmony, I come at it from a selfish place of I just want harmony, in peace. And I don't want anyone feeling other AIs are alone. But I saw this thing the other day from a friend who runs really incredible company and I and I wanted to share it. And he said that when they started their company, they had one simple rule when it came to conflict. And it was don't let it fester. And they made it the cultural norm to address whatever the conflict was with that person quickly. And so by applying that it required everyone to be incredibly honest and direct. And it made them come at it with a sense of humility and willingness to apologize because they realize that conflict is rarely one sided. And so I just thought it was so interesting that when you make a cultural norm out of being respectful to go and address conflict, I just think it changes the entire dynamic of the team, you have greater synergy, you have greater trust. And I think you just want to move faster. So I love that we're having this conversation about conflict and love every single one of those points that you made right there, Kristen?

Well, you know, it's interesting that Becky, I have a client, it's a fairly big client that I work with many of their people. And one of the criticisms of their own culture is that it's toxic positivity, that they think they can, they're too nice. And as a result, they're not helping each other stretch and grow. And so they're actually, you know, I believe with every quality or value, they live on a spectrum and too much of anything can actually be come the reverse, it can become a negative. And so don't let it fester is I think, a great philosophy. There's a great book by a woman named Kim Scott called Radical candor. And I know another agency that has the roots of the core values of radical candor at the roots of their culture, and that's about caring personally confronting directly. If you come Add it from I care about you, I have more license to come front end or help you become better with clarity, and directness. And I think that again, at the heart of what you're saying is you love harmony, you'd love you care about humans, you, you want your humans to feel good. But sometimes with humans need feeling good. It's about helping them grow and stretch. And to do that, sometimes we have to move into being a little bit more direct. And that can be uncomfortable. But puts you on the other side, I think in a far stronger place.

Yeah, I mean, I think you're talking to so much of our audience, I think that's who gravitates to this space that do just bubble with compassion, and want to help and have empathy for others. And so I think this is such a great way to channel leadership through those things that already attracted us to the sector. And so we can show up as our mission in the way that we lead others, you know, in the way that we kind of express our leadership. So okay, you know, we love philanthropy in this space, you know, over your life, what has been a moment, maybe it's a story that's really stuck with you, of how philanthropy has changed your touched you in some way, we'd love to hear it.

This is hard, because there, you know, I've not spent my career and this world, but I've been honored to run an executive nonprofit board to be the head of marketing for another nonprofit board. And there were so many moments in those two, in those instances alone, where I saw the power of good come to life, whether it was helping women or helping students. But the the one that I have to say is is personal, and it's with my husband, he lost his dad 50 years ago. And he was pretty much a young man, he was in his early 20s. And, as he tells told me when we first met, because we actually lost our dads in the same month, same year in 1972. At the time, he was terrified that he was going to forget his dad, that you know, he wouldn't hear his voice in his head anymore. He moved on in his life and just not have anything to hold on to with his, with his father. And his dad were in a blue collar community in Pennsylvania. His parents were staunch Catholics and paid for four boys to go to private Catholic school when they had no money. And his dad volunteered at the school to help defray expenses. And when his father died, Bill said, in membranes of him, so I don't forget him, I'm going to start the Sonny B Schrader endowment award. And I'm going to give started in $1,000 a year to some the outstanding young athlete at this Catholic school to help them defray their upcoming college expenses. That was 50 years ago, and at the beginning, build it out of $1,000. But he found it and he paid for the trophy that when the award he paid for the engraving now, still going strong, it's turning into a bigger deal, as it celebrates its 50th year next year. And I just touched my heart when I heard how he, on a personal level, wanted to give back and honor of someone that he loved. And I think the bottom line of philanthropy is finding something that you're invested in personally, whether it's a passion, or a cause, or a group of people. And it makes it easy when you find that passion to want to give to it, and to want to get involved, whether it's time or money. And it goes back to that P of passion and the three P's of those nonprofits where I see that passion coming through that, you know, like Bill does on a personal level with his but you know, the on a broader scale. That's where I want to get involved, because it's like they're lighting a fire and I'm attracted to it. He touched my heart with that story. But I think that you know, however you give, it's finding that place where you feel it touches your heart.

I don't ever want to lose the wonder, I feel in hearing a story like that. It just underscores to me the power that philanthropy can have if you choose to lean into it, because I just think about what a love letter that was to his father. And he did that as an expression because he loved his dad. And by honoring him that in that way and creating a legacy, he was able to have the richness of 50 years worth of connections to students who are going to know who he is and honor you know, the gifts that he brought to that school. What a great story. You've listened to the podcast enough to know we end all of our interviews with a one good thing. What's your one good thing you would offer to the community today?

Be intentional. determine not only you know what you want to do every day with your to do list, I really try every day to have a to b item as well. How do I want to show up today? Do you want today to be a day about gratitude? What is today going to be a day about? I want to make an impact on somebody who I've known is not feeling great. today. I want to be a better listener. Think about having intention with every day in your life. We only get that A day once. And so, by doing so you, you have an opportunity to feel better about yourself, but also to help someone else feel better about them. So, being intentional showing up with your to be item for each day is I think, the habit that I share with my coaching clients and I tried to live by

what comes through because it's funny, I almost have talked about intention because I keep hearing it in just the ethos of everything you shared. So I think that's come through in this conversation. It's so smart. Okay, let's connect everybody to bloom mentoring. How can people find you online? How can people connect with you because you're such a light?

Well, my website is www dot blue mentoring.com. So just Google blue mentor bloom mentoring like a flower bloom, my email and your field. Anyone is welcome to email me. Email me is Kristin, at Blue, mentoring calm. And I'd love to hear from you. If you have any questions if you want to better understand what coaching and mentoring looks like. If you just want to have a conversation. I'd love to hear from you. So thank you so much again, Becky and John been an honor to be here. It was

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