Hey, friend, here we are again in the middle of August, the time of year with so much transition. How did we get here so fast? How's life landing for you these days, even though we technically have another month of the summer season left, summer vibes and schedules are ending. Maybe your summer schedule already ended and you are back into your quote, unquote, normal responsibilities and schedule some of us who have, you know, a little bit more freedom and time during the summer might be, you know, looking at that transitional period where we only have a couple weeks left. And so for some of you, this may be a period of excitement and maybe period of disdain. I mean, there's so much going on. I feel this time of year. Some of you may have really loved summer and are so sad to see it go, and others might really be excited about summer ending, because you just don't enjoy this season either way. Fall, whoo, it's coming. And even if you love the season, it can be a really rough time. So we have coming up the change of seasons, which can be tumultuous anytime we are changing from one season to another. Fall itself is so busy and responsibilities are through the roof for many of us, and it's already been a hell of a nine months of a year, and we're freaking tired. Many of us, and some of us are scared based on, you know, the recent changes in legislation here in the United States, and worrying about what might be next. Did I miss anything? Oh, yes, the freaking US presidential election is coming, I feel as though Kamala Harris choosing Tim Walz as her running mate infused some hope and maybe even kind of like lightened up what was feeling a very heavy and dark political climate. I'm not sure if you feel the same. Sadly, though, I don't think that bit of hope that we really needed is going to be enough on its own to carry us through to the end, like where the election is and even the days after. And so the shit that we need to talk about this week is that right now, you might be feeling like your bandwidth and capacity are way too low, going into all that's around the corner in the coming weeks. Then I hear you before I dive deeply into this conversation, though, I really want to start with some logistics when it comes to bandwidth and capacity to ensure that we are on the same page, because these two words are often used interchangeably, but they're actually different. When I say bandwidth, I'm talking about your available time, and then capacity is what you're able to do in that available time. So sometimes these words are used interchangeably, or they're kind of meshed together. Now under non dumpster fire circumstances, if you can even remember what that even was like. It's common for people to overestimate, overestimate their bandwidth, the time that you can spare, or the time that you have right and then underestimate the capacity what you can do in that time. But now, in life as it is in 2024 many of us are feeling stretched thin in terms of our available time and what we can realistically do in it. I don't really think that this is an exaggeration or an underestimation. Honestly, the level feels bleak. The levels are and in some cases, you might have some available time, but your output feels low or non existent, and that might be in terms of like your productivity for work, or like your responsibilities, or even the things that you want to do for yourself. And this makes sense, because some of us are literally running on empty in terms of our gas tank. So even when we do have some time, we're not really able to do anything, especially anything that feels fruitful or enough. It's really hard. And I know you, your work, your responsibilities, your causes, your contributions, your people, your well being, all of it, they're all way too important to you to lay faint in the corner with your head under the covers for too long of a time. Notice I said too long of a time, right? Because we've got to be real and acknowledge that laying faint in the corner with your head under the covers can be very necessary at times, and then eventually we've got to get up and go. The good news is, and I'm being 100% sincere when I say this. There is a glimmer of hope we can turn this around. Despite the very real dumpster fire we're in, we can expand our capacity, what we're able to do, and our bandwidth the spare time we have for whatever it is we want to show up for, especially when it comes to our self care. So here's the thing, the initial challenge when it comes to having low capacity is getting over the hump of showing up to the thing you want to do when you don't have the energy for it. To me, this is the biggest challenge of it all, just showing up. Literally, the most energy you will have to expend is just getting there. And that can feel really hard when you're pressed for time and low in energy. You know, because you spend so much time thinking about all it will take for you to get there and active, be actively present, and it feels like more than you've got to give. And most likely, you're sure there will not be any reserves left over once you're finished. But I assure you, as valid as that is doing. The thing you're going to do is not going to be as taxing as you imagine to be once you get there. You've just got to get there, because, you know, once you're there in the room, in your zoom box, at the location, you're going to get energized by the people, the vibe and the surroundings. And once you start doing what you're there to do, there will be a natural shift where you are recouping energy to so you may not have the capacity right now, and you can come with that, but you, as in you and the community you're in, when you go to do the thing, will expand the capacity you do have naturally. And it's true, the energy and capacity that you gain may not at all move the needle to full by any means, but it's still better than running on fumes, so to speak, isn't it? Like Wouldn't you say? So just being able to show up despite low capacity will be hugely supported by two other actions, and the first is reclaiming your time and energy. The hard reality is you are already giving your time and energy away to things that are draining you further and are not in service of what you care about most. And it's true that a lot of your time is being taken up by a lot of shit that you've just got to do, but then whatever is left you might be Doom, scrolling, online, window shopping, worrying, doing anything in the name of procrastination, spending time with people who aren't for you, and so many other things. So when you are low in bandwidth, time, energy and capacity output, you need to identify the things that are sucking your time and energy dry and replace those things that will be hydrating for you, as in, will fuel you, fill you and plump you up. It might be hard to make the shift, because some of these time sucks may have offered distraction that was comforting to you in some way. That's not abnormal, but you know, it's not the comfort that you need in the long haul. So this change is necessary, and it needs to be said that often the things you're doing that are draining you are usually on your phone or like on a device that is at your fingertips, which feels way more accessible than doing something in another room, outside or in a different location altogether. This is absolutely true, and what's also valid is that the things you want to do with your time might require support or assistance from someone else, which is the second sister step to just showing up to the thing you want to do. Friend. You're not alone in this. So I encourage you ask someone to watch your dog or your child or your children for you, ask that person who has access to the place you want to go or the thing you want to do for the connection perk people want to help you. It feels shitty to ask, but seriously, we need to get over ourselves and just freaking ask already. And if you find like, I really struggle so like, I don't feel like I have anybody to lean on. Okay, well, then let's see what we can do about finding you in your circle of people who will because I struggle too with asking for help, especially when that's help with my kids, because I have this dumb idea in my head that my husband and I have chosen to have them, so it's on us alone to solely raise and provide for them. But that's BS. Asking for support is going to be hard, but it's going to be worth it, and I need to remember that too. The truth of the matter is, this is a decision to expand your capacity in a new area, one that really matters to you. We can't do it alone, and the sweet reality is we don't have to if we choose to do the hard thing, right?
So you might at this point be saying to yourself, Okay, Steph, I get you. What happens next? We get over the hump. We quit doing things that drain us. We ask for help, we show up to what we want to do, despite having less energy capacity and bandwidth than we'd like. So. You most likely want to know, how do we actually spend expand capacity already? Well, friend, you know, it's not gonna be straightforward answered, but I promise the process is tried and true. It'll require a bit of trust of me, but most importantly, of yourself. So when you are finally able to show up to the thing you want to do, do the smallest of things. Do it in the smallest of ways, in what seems insignificant or not nearly enough. Make the smallest of effort, do it the least taxing way. So what I mean is just get there and be there. Maybe don't actively participate and just be a fly on the wall. If you normally are the organizer, let someone else be the organizer, and you be the dutiful helper. Instead of working out for an hour, workout for 30 minutes or less. Sit outside if it's safe, to just eat a meal, whether it's prepackaged, takeout or homemade, it doesn't matter. Read a book for 10 minutes, drink some water, and if you can't remember, Drink Water Regularly, set an alarm on your phone for every hour. I'm not even kidding. The list goes on. But what is most important here is I mean small. I mean simple. I freaking mean it, and then be willing to feel like you are under resourced as you start whatever you set out to do. And also feel, allow yourself to feel as though you are not doing anything significant during the process without judgment and just keep doing it. Trust the process. We have this idea lodged in our minds that we will always that we always have to show up with bells on and hit a home run every time we do something. But that is society's productivity and achievement bullshit coming through, and so we really have to rewire our brains with what is actually true, and that is small and simple or significant. It goes a long way. We don't always have to do the most possible for our time and effort to be worth it. So do the small, seemingly insignificant or not enough thing and keep doing it. Keep showing up with what little time and energy you have, keep showing up to be a fly on the wall. Show up in the way that is least taxing. Keep doing it. Finally bring energy back to yourself through boundaries and doing things that bring you joy and enjoyment. So when say No, when it's a no, say Not right now, when now is not the time, say yes, when you want to choose to do what you really like to do, you get to do this period without explanation, guilt or shame, and just by doing these few things, this little bit your energy capacity and bandwidth will naturally expand from here, it just does. Your brain rewires, space opens up, and you recoup some energy. So friend, I'm going to leave you with this consideration, what would it look like if you came back to yourself and put your care at the same priority level as your other responsibilities, or if you were to tend to yourself in the same way as you tend to everything else? Friend, if this resonated, if this whole conversation resonated, please stay tuned for a brand new offering coming this fall that was created specifically for meeting you in this crucial moment right now and building your capacity so that you can show up to what matters to you and not be so drained. Definitely hop onto my newsletter list so you can get the info as soon as it drops. And in the meantime, check out the disruptors guide to self care. It's a free download on my website for more guidance on making self care accessible, especially when you are low in capacity, you can find the links to the disruptors guide to self care in the show notes and on my website. Steff gallante.com and my friend, until next time, please be kind to yourself, just as you would to those who are most important to you, whether that's a human, an animal, baby or a plant. I love to hear from you, so please, please reach out and let me know what has resonated with you, and if you've been loving this show, I ask please share it with your nearest and dearest. Leave a review and or a rating, whatever you feel like you can do. I'm so so glad we're here together in this time and space, and remember you are a badass and you are deserving of your unconditional love, grace and compassion. So cut the crap and get out of your own way. Give that to yourself and be well, my friend. You.
