Yeah, man, easier said than done. Easier said than done. And here's why. You know, psychologists tell us that most of our daily activities, most of and thus most of our results, are determined by our non conscious programming. Okay, so our non conscious programming. So to give give our listeners an example of what I mean by that, let's say that. Well, I'll give you an example, right? So my wife and I, we were camping the Mojave Desert here over the past weekend, and on the way there, my wife, she's sitting in the silence of the car, right? And, bless her heart, she's like, Okay, I want to connect with Enoch. And so she pulled up this little, like, one of those little trivia games, you know, we can, like, ask questions, like, find it more out about each other, like, what animal would you be, or whatever, something similar to that, right? And she did it purely for the purpose of, like, engaging with me and getting that conversation and connection happening. So as she was doing this, like, I wasn't responding the way she wanted, I just, I wasn't saying the right things. I was I was kind of joking around and stuff. And so ultimately, she's like, she kind of got frustrated with me. She put down her phone. Said, Fine, if you're not going to participate, then I'm just going to go back to read my book. Right? So she puts her phone down, and she, like, pulls out her book, and I'm feeling hurt because I'm like, damn it woman, you know, what did I do wrong? You know, you don't want to play. I do want to connect with you. I want to play the game, right? And so what happened? I've done enough marriage therapy to, like, recognize that. Like, what happened here is that there were triggers involved in both sides, right? So my wife, first of all, she got triggered. What does that mean? It means she had some sort of negative emotion in her body, some frustration, some annoyance with time. Was behaving. Now I got triggered at her as well, right? The problem is that, as leaders, we go through our business most of the time we're not aware of the triggers that are happening for us. In other words, these negative feelings and emotions we have. And so what ends up happening is that we are ruled by these unconscious kind of program that we have from the past, these negative feelings and emotions. And so to give you an example, Zika how this could play out in an architectural practice, an architect might feel very, very uncomfortable delegating a certain task and not and even though this task needs to be delegated, right? And because this architect is not necessarily aware of the uncomfortableness that's happening in this architect's body, the architect then is just operating on autopilot, saying, well, I'll just do this. It's going to take me less time. I'll just do it myself, and then staying trapped as what you call the linchpin in the office. Now that's a long way of saying that delegating is very easy to say, but what we find is it's hard to do. Because I find we have architects who are very successful. They have teams of 56789, 1011, 12 team members, and they're still struggling to delegate a lot of things they should be delegating. You. And they were still dealing with blind spots where they're doing things that there's they should not be doing, but they're doing it out of habit and out of past programming. So the key for music to be able to like and what we teach our clients to not be the linchpin anymore, is you have to start become aware of your own subconscious programming. Where am I self sabotaging? Where am I getting in the way? Where are I responding out of fear, as opposed to being a powerful leader who maturely knows how to coach train and when to do each one of those and how to make sure that the company operates better without me. The second part of that Zeke is that it's very real that we will if you're human being, you're going to feel a little bit of threat if you get out shown by one of your team members. This is not it's not uncommon. There are, maybe, if there's, there's a salt small select portion of humanity that will be completely fine having team members who outshine them. But most human beings are going to feel, whether they're conscious of it or not, they're going to feel a little bit of threat by a team member who's outshining them, who's doing something better, who comes up with the right answer. And so that's another area which we can subconsciously kind of diminish our team members. And you and I, we've probably been on teams like that, where someone was really that was a big thing for them, where they actually cut down people in front of other people. You know, they pointed out mistakes publicly. They did all sorts of things to kind of belittle people around them. But we all have a little bit of that, so that's another thing to be aware of. Zeke is like, you know, am I? Am I feeling threatened by having smarter people around me? You know, do I need to be the person in the room that has the answer, or can I celebrate other people for having the answer? You mentioned art Gensler earlier. You talked about Gensler. Jason Gensler, right? And you know, in my interactions I've had with him, and I know he's passed away now, but he really came across as the kind of person who to that came more naturally. He wasn't threatened by having smart people around him. He kind of had that kind of servant leadership persona. And look at what happened. I mean, it was just that, that seed of letting his own ego take a back seat to let other people shine. That's why they call it the they call it, I think a constellation of stars. They actually have it as part of their core principles. In their company is not built around like one powerful figure, like like Frank Gehry, but we want a constellation of stars, means we want to have a lot of stars in our organization, and they don't outshine each other, but they all contribute together. So it's just different ways of approaching business. But it can be challenging if you're wanting to have all the here's here's another way. Another, another one of my mentors said it. He says, don't go to work to get your needs met. This is, if we had to summarize it, that would be probably the key piece of advice there. Don't go to work to get your emotional needs met. Get your emotional needs met at home. When you're in business, you're not there to get your needs met. You're there to meet other people's needs.
