Have you ever wondered what it would be like to broadcast your first dates on Instagram Live? Well wonder no more. Today we're going to hear a story about doing just that. I'm Sarah Wendell. I'm Alisha Rai Welcome to lovestruck daily where we bring a love story to your ears every single day.
I'm in love with you. To you. Good to see you. I'm in love with you.
Have you ever met someone that you dated through social media? That wasn't a dating app?
No. I think I think for me, that would be weird. Because I use social media for my work.
You know what I do, too. And obviously, I'm not dating anybody because I'm married. But I love hearing about how people meet through social media. Yeah, because I've definitely made friends through social media,
oh, I've made tonnes of friends through social media, I think the nature of the genre that we're in, we, I don't have a lot of contact with men for one, because if they are readers, then they are either very respectful. And wouldn't dream of sliding in my DMs, which I appreciate very much, or they're kinda the opposite. Really wanted to
I think you're right, though.
It's like a very weird genre to write in. Because if you're if you're looking for love in it, it's a little bit a little bit tough, tough to do that.
So your social media being so very firmly located in romance limits, the amount
of limited the amount of interaction I would have with potential suitors dateable dateable people that you read about man? Yeah, for sure. It makes sense. Makes sense. Now, I'm not saying I was closed off to it or anything. I think it's, it's a little odd when it's, it's under my writing name. And yeah, and I've talked a lot about my writing. And, you know, it's part of my whole online presence is being a romance author. So it's a little complicated for me, if I was just like an influencer, or if I was just a comedian, or, you know, like something in another world, or in another genre, I think it would be a little different.
And in some ways, you know, I think for comedians, they come up with a comedy persona from which they're performing. There's a consistent sort of message or narrative that they're talking about. And you also have a narrative for yourself under your pen name. Yeah, I do. And but a lot of it is tied up in my writing, of course, yeah. Makes a lot of sense. Because I know some writers have two social media accounts one for their writing world and then one for their real world like their their
personal I don't do that. I don't, I don't really do that. It would be too much to keep track of, but I appreciate people who can juggle multiple social media was not that smart
to pick a pseudonym. So yeah,
so you're just you I'm just
me.
I mean, I am very authentic. I think I'm so on my soul. For certain though. It's under my pen name. Like it's very much me. But it's, it's a different. It's just a little awkward. I think, if I'm looking at it in terms of dating someone from it?
Well, it's also because when you create your persona, and you create your pen name, it is still you, but it's a portion of you. And it's a persona view and dating you as all of you, right, like being someone's partner, is not a persona. That's your real life. And especially with visual forms of social media. I think it's more and more common to create a persona. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying it's a it's a slice of you. It's a portion of you. It's not all social media, like weird. No one wants to know about all my neuroses on social media. I mean, we'd be here.
I mean, I put I bet a lot of mine out there, but yeah.
Well, today we have a very special guest who did use social media for dating in a very unconventional way. Comedian Alyssa CEVO is joining us today and Alisa decided to find love using Instagram prom dresses and being very vulnerable in a very public space. Welcome, Alyssa.
Hey, everybody. Alyssa,
you went viral for going on blind dates with people on Instagram Live.
I love absolutely everything about this. And I'm going to ask you to please tell me everything. This is amazing. First of
all, I'm flattered that you said I went viral. I don't know. But it wasn't it wasn't quite like Huffington Post. Good morning. I thought it should have been but Sarah and Alicia. I am a huge fan of you both and I am so excited to tell my weird story with you guys. I cannot wait to talk with you. So I was restless. And I was looking for love. And I was also looking for an opportunity to entertain people on Instagram Live. So I took to the dating apps hinge, God bless hinge. And I set a prompt. And I said, Who wants to go on a first date with me on Instagram Live? That was my whole profile was just like, come on. It'll be fun. And I got some matches. So I think what happened was, I was like, you know, what would be hilarious? What if I went on Instagram Live? And asked one of my hinge matches to go on a first date with me? Wouldn't that be so funny? You know, and I was just kind of like, it was like, nothing that I ever thought would happen. And my my friend was like, Wait, yeah, you should do that. And I think I was just like, okay, maybe, you know, so I changed all my prompts on hinge. And I changed everything that was just, like, describe a perfect date. And it was like me and you on my Instagram. What do you say, buddy? So then I started getting I actually started getting a lot of people responding. And not necessarily people being like, yes, please, I want to do it. But people like Are you joking? What is this? Haha, you know, they kind of it was like a fun icebreaker. They're like, this is a very interesting thing. So yeah, so I remember the first guy that agreed to do it. I was so pumped. I started promoting it, you know, to my fans, and I was like this, you know, this is happening, and he ghosted me. So I was like, Oh, my gosh, so then I found somebody who was down, you know, and I kind of laid it out there. I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna be doing. Like, I might be being a heightened version of myself. I don't know. But thank you for doing it. It'll be fun. Nonetheless, you know, and worst case scenario, it's not fun, best case scenario. We ended up getting married. We did it. And the first episode this guy, he was like, outside walking around. I came in a formal gown. Like, I took it very seriously. I looked like Pretty in Pink, you know? And I was ready. I did my makeup intense. I was ready. I had light it. You know, I had everything. I had a Lacroix matched my dress. And so he's like walking around, you know, and home and start flying in. And people are like, Oh my gosh, looks so like, you look so amazing. What's this guy doing? He's walking around, you know, and they're saying really nice stuff to me. And then they're saying red flag anytime he says something. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, having my friends and people that love me here on this date with me. It gave me so much like weird confidence. But I was definitely kind of like what like, what do you want? You know, what's your goals? Are you looking to settle down? I'm looking for a husband. I am not messing around here. I was definitely. I don't know if I would have necessarily done that. Had we been face to face and hundreds of people weren't watching, you know, but he was really he was a good sport, but I never heard from him again. That's what I was about to ask. Was there a second date? Absolutely. Not a second date. Like we texted a little bit after I was like, thank you so much. If you want to FaceTime normally, you know what I mean? Because that was obviously weird. But it was so fun. Are you okay, you know, and he was like, Oh, that was a blast. He was very positive about it. But then I think I think maybe he just like did something to him. Because then yeah, never heard from them again.
Yeah, you You brought your A game and he brought like a C minus.
Yeah. I was just glad that he showed up.
Yeah, no, that is that that is just like dating in a nutshell, isn't it? Because I felt like whenever I would go on first dates, I would take a look at our air man to my hair, do my makeup and the man would just like roll out the door. Yeah, like pick up his car keys.
It was such a yes. He was wearing athletic gym shorts. And everybody was like,
really? Yeah, tell me what happened next.
Okay, so after that, I was like, wow, I was so nervous doing that. And it made me feel alive, which I hadn't felt alive in a long time. It was like this weird combination of my love of performing. And then also I love love and I am I would call myself a bit of a romance addict. And then the response I got from like friends and people that watch and even just like strangers DMing me being like, I'm obsessed but I don't know I became kind of like addicted so then I went back on hinge and was trying to get another soccer
which is a great way to think about your potential.
You know, and I was like, but honestly like, in my mind, I was like, Can you literally imagine like, how incredible it would be. If I did end up with the guy and I have it recorded our first ever
interaction. You weren't doing it for clout you were doing it maybe like 40% Yeah, like, but but not much. already cloud, you were actually thinking
like, yeah, I would say 40% Cloud 60% personal growth. You're like,
oh, I can show this video to my grandkids and I look at
grandma and grandpa, grandma got a bigger following.
Look at that, look at the numbers that went out. You just pull out your staff along with a video. Yeah. And you show it off to your grandkids. I totally understand that very much. So,
okay, we're gonna take a beat, go have a sip of water, coffee, wine, whatever you need. We'll be right back
so what how many of these did you go on? Like how many dates total? So
I did four total. The other one I went on what you could tell he was just wanted to be on and really wasn't interested in getting to know me. I can understand how that would happen. But it really I think that one was really weird and jarring.
You You definitely you definitely need to know the difference between having a conversation and delivering a monologue. Yes, those are to live. Yeah. And
that's the other thing too, like, not only was sad that it was going bad. But then I was like, Oh, no. Is this interesting to watch? You know, I mean, because I knew that like he wasn't, we weren't going to be a match. And everybody was saying like, wow, like people were like, are you okay, after that they're like, and they said that it was still interesting to watch because they said it was like I was watching myself on a first date. It was it like was very hard to watch. But it was interesting. And you know, that guy, he was just kind of like, you know, he was not interested in getting to know me. And that's fine. That one you know, then I never really heard from him again. What a shame still on hinge and like it's growing. With each episode. We were getting more followers and people were enjoying it. I had people DMing me like what's going on? You know what I mean? Like, when's the next one? Like, I'm so intrigued by your journey. People were telling me they would put it on their TVs with their friends and family and like, you know what I mean? Like, it was like a big event. They were like, it's like, yeah, and that made me feel good. You know, because I was like, Oh, that's cool. So then I matched with this guy on hinge on like Christmas morning. And at this point, I am like, no longer interested in finding love. I am interested in like selling a show. And I'm like, I think this is it. You know, people are telling me they're like this is it looks like you're you're so interesting to watch these first dates are great, you gotta keep doing it. So at this point, I hope I don't find love because I want to keep doing these, you know? So I matched with this guy. And I'm like, oh, you know, and he's like, Oh, why are you trying to scare everybody away with this Instagram Live? And I'm like, Haha, so you're in when can you do it? I have here my openings. And he's like, you know, I think like, I love that you're doing that. I think that's so funny. And you're an interesting person. But I'd rather get to know you like a more normal way. And I'm like, actually, like, I gave up dating. And he was like, okay, cool. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee? And at this point, the world was opening up, we were getting vaccinated. So I was like, Yeah, sure. I'll get a cup of coffee with you, you know, and I was just like, whatever. Like, maybe this will be my friend. And then sure enough, we went on a walk and got a cup of coffee. And that was it. Like, I think like at that on that walk. I was like, Yeah, this is. This is my guy. I think he just like knows who he is and isn't trying to like, prove himself and knows how to be around a smart, funny woman. And like, Isn't freaked out. So that was it. Like I think like, still, I think all that Instagram live stuff did work in a way to bring me to him to bring us to each other.
That's so nice. Oh, my gosh, and you've been together now for how
long? It'll be like nine months or what? I don't know. 10 months?
Oh my gosh. And has he ever been on your social media? Or has
he? Yeah, and I think it's funny because people still DM me and they're like, Hey, what's going on with your love life? You know, they're like, are you gonna go on any more Instagram Live dates and like, I got a guy, I got a boyfriend. I don't need to do that anymore. And they're like, can you still do it? Like, people still want you know, and I'm like, they're like, can you have him go on? Like, no, I think we like to go on normal.
Yeah. What did your family think about all of that?
So my family, they're not as like online as I am. One time my grandma and my mom. They don't necessarily like know how to work Instagram Live, but I saw them in there. You know, it was like my mom's Instagram handle is like Jen mom and also like, my, like, my mom's watching this. As far as you know, my family. They've always been very, like, supportive of me, but they know that like, let's Alyssa do it, you know, and like, they can't really stop me from doing it, but I think they appreciate it, but they're also just like, Hmm,
so listen, before you go, we actually have a little sip. rice for you. Please welcome your mom. Hello, Jen. Hi. How are you? So good. Thank you so much for joining us. Alyssa is delighted. It's racking up. So Jen, we were just talking to Alyssa about this Instagram Live business that she had. And what a great story it is and how she met her boyfriend. So what did you think about this? Let's get it straight from you.
I think Alyssa didn't tell me until she was probably on like the second or third. Ah, I know she did not want me watching but right. I found out of course I chimed in there. And I'm like, it was a lot for me to you know, not say what I really thought because I mean, I don't usually get listened to anyway, but I still have an opinion. So
please, mother. Oh, of course. I listen to you.
Of course. Yeah, so Alyssa doing that kind of dating. I feel like our her peers were giving her solid advice.
Did you did you think anything of the suitors that you did see Did you think you know like, Oh, this guy's No. Okay.
I saw I was not exactly. I wouldn't call. I wasn't impressed. Okay. Oh, you know, you're my daughter Alyssa. So I feel like I have a standard that's probably way higher than what yours is for yourself.
That's true. You. My mom has always been very, like every guy I've ever dated. That she's met. And then like whenever I you know, would end it or it would no she was she was always like, Yeah, I'm glad he was not right for you. And but I have a feeling that with my current boyfriend. I have a feeling you don't feel that way about him. Like I don't think I can. I can't ever see you being like, you know, if we break up I can't ever see you being like, yeah, he wasn't right. Because I you love him. Then
a precious soul. And I feel like they kind of Yeah, it just takes time and they'll click but don't ever settle. You know, follow your instincts. And when you feel something's wrong, it's probably wrong. So get the heck out.
Very wise words. Good advice. Yeah. I love you.
Let's love you.
Thank you so much for
Alyssa if people would like to find you and as very well, they should because you are amazing. Where can they find you on the internet?
Oh my gosh, thank you. Yes, I'm on Twitter and Instagram, you know and tick tock on Twitter and Instagram. It's at Alyssa underscore Stevo. And then tick tock. There's no underscore. But yeah, I post weird stuff. I do a lot of like, I read my old Christian journals. I like to kind of be very like, you know, out in the open online, I share I probably share way too much. But it's fun.
Fantastic. And thank you so much for coming on. We really this was a delight. We just We adored it.
I am absolutely in awe of you. And you have inspired me to be so much more brave. In everything that I do today. Thank you so much for that. Oh, thank
you guys so much. You're gonna make I feel emotional. You guys rule. Okay, bye.
So for this episode's love to go. I think the finest advice that I have for myself is to be brave and just do it. There's no reason not to just go for it. You have a community around you. You have a community even if it's just little hearts flying up the side of the screen. You can do it you have community be brave and go do the thing.
Yes, I love that. Do you remember those little candy hearts with the things on them? Yeah, absolutely little those little guys and I think that's our little that's our little to go we'll put that in everybody's pocket is Be brave. candy heart. Sticky, brave. Take it. We're
not alone. You got this? Absolutely. If you have questions, thoughts or ideas we would love to hear from you. You can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at lovestruck daily and you can leave a review subscribe and spread the word so that we can bring more love and joy into everyone's day. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are produced by Abigail steckler and little Scorpion studios with executive producer frolic media. This is an I Heart Radio Podcast. We wish you a wonderful happily ever after. I'm in love with the saying to you I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you
