2022-01-11 The Life and Teachings of Harada Tangen-roshi 4

9:34PM Jan 23, 2022

Speakers:

Sensei Amala Wrightson

Keywords:

roshi

tongan

practice

question

mind

contentment

life

replied

person

returned

monk

arises

sat

dharma

student

add

child

altar

works

words

Today is the fourth day of our summer seven day sesshin - 11th of January 2022. And we're going to continue with the article awaken to the true self. This is a partial script of a conversation that took place between Tangen Roshi and Takashi Io Yama in 1984. It was translated and notes added by Belinda Attoway Yamakawa.

For 1000, people who decide to sit there are 1000 motives and a wide disparity between depths of aspiration.

When we when we come to spiritual practice our motivation isn't always pure and altruistic. I think it's idealistic to imagine that everyone who comes to the Dharma comes with Bodhisattva content. All kinds of motivated motivations are accepted though, because if we engage in the practice, sincerely, motivation can change through that process, purify. Sometimes, sometimes this doesn't happen. Sometimes people get some relief from their DOKO through the practice, and then settle for that or even leave at that point. It's likely that they they may come back when the Duker in their lives increases.

The main thing, however, is to awaken to one's true self. This true self is supreme and irreplaceable, and we call it Buddha. Of course, one's true self is not that which we ordinarily conjure up in our heads and habitually regard as self, it is rather the genuine self which cannot be grasped, seen or spoken of. So, the main thing is just to become aware of this self

it can't be spoken off because words limited and it's limitless.

We can speak of seasons in the process of becoming of coming to self knowledge, and we can say that opportunity ripens, there is the unawakened season, the season when one comes to know of the existence of this reality, the season when one believes in the teachings, the season when one believes and therefore mildly keeps one's awareness constant and finally, there is the season in which one is awakened. This this particular word that he uses here I think is very apt and important season is recognizing that this process of practice spiritual practice Dharma practice is has its seasons we can't

say to ourselves we'll this is this is when it's going to happen this is when when all awaken it's an unfolding ripening and he uses this word he says we can say that opportunity ripens.

We have the expression Ichi tonday now, now, this is itchy today I did a bit of looking up this this expression on the internet because I wondered what the this tan say means itchy itchy means one but all I all I got when I Googled tanti was some online detective game there was no other meaningful for today except for Detective he seems to translate it here just as now. Now we're now here

So, perhaps Perhaps there's a connection between the two in terms of tanti meaning as it comes out a little bit later, interest research or investigation

we have the expression Ichi tanto a now Now, this is Ichi Tandy. The teacher is one who clearly reveals this to the student. Reality is not off someplace else away from right now and here. Now, hear Don't be careless. Don't be off guard. The teacher points out the path, the direct route and in the way most appropriate to each student. With this direction the student can truly practice the most treasured straight path it's a it's a straight path that has many, many corners in many veins, many ups and downs.

The these the structure of of sesshin also points us to this moment. Again and again. The Han, the inking Bell, the clappers.

Coming bringing us back into this moment as it unfolds

to maintain the spirit of practice the student single mindedly works to make the tanto a constant. So, that everything is in her daily life becomes this practice this research into her true identity, everything becomes as in this is truly being alive

this research into her or his true identity a research that that is available in each moment. Whatever arises whatever we struggles we face, they can become the the subject of investigation or interest or research into what is our true identity. If we can, we can practice this then everything becomes this as in, there's really no such thing as distraction. This this is an attitude of mine that we can develop. We won't be fazed by anything.

Inherent in in just practicing this investigating or research is that it's non grasping. And open years as Tongan Roshi says we're talking in one of the teisho as before, see Shane about the necessary attitudes, the correct attitudes to have in taking up practice. And the first one we looked at was a contentment. This is in globales book Silent illumination, Chan Buddha's path to natural awakening. And just read a little passage here in the section about contentment. There is no formulaic way to cultivate contentment or non grasping. We need to personally explore the flavor of contentment and digest this feeling little by little, becoming familiar with it in our lives. We can't just force this attitude on ourselves and expect to be able to plow through all of our problems. Contentment is not a mere concept. We need to appreciate the depth of what it means to be contained. It is not just being disinterested or detached for everything. Contentment includes his radical acceptance of whatever arises, an embracing of the unpleasant as well as, as well as the pleasant.

When we're contained, we appreciate what we have, and we are able to engage fully in whatever may arise. There's a freshness to it. With containment, we're able to avail ourselves openly of everything, without rejecting anything. In this process, there may be praying in grief, but we are cultivating the ability to feel fully to be present to whatever arises without judgment, to to investigate, to research. It she turned day. Allowing such feelings to move through us will make us stronger. We are incredibly resilient. Our hearts and minds will eventually accept and release whatever comes through us. To do this, we have to be in tune with the body and anchor ourselves in it. Contentment resides in the heart and it has an associated bodily component. The easiest way to become familiar with containment is to physically relax the body We relax from the crown of the head to the toes section by section, we relax the skin paws muscles, tendons, this means actually feeling different areas of our bodies. Most people are so out of tune with their bodies that they don't really know how to relax or what their bodies feel. So this requires practice

when we, when we find ourselves feeling disconnected, connected, then just returning to the body and, and working one's way methodically through its different parts can help us to to come back into the prisons into this here now that's that's always available to us that that process

when one settles into this Ichi tan day, regardless of the job, one has to do in this world, one's efficiency increases manifold. This is because the practice becomes doing solely what ever one may find oneself faced with doing solely whatever one is doing, so that distractions do not arise. Therefore in whatever circumstance we may find ourselves, our efficiency is increased. It is such that one even comes to wonder how it is, this world is taking such good care of one living in truth is like this is wonderful. This is the what goes around comes around principle. The more we take care the more we're taken care of bodies out for spring up to help we needed

this is this is the way in which we really do create our own world.

The next section is hit it up big mind joyful mind, parental mind. These these three aspects of mind were originally taught by Master Drogon. completely enveloped and suckered by the whole universe, you are like the mountains like the seas, like the great sky which knows no limits, this great big boundlessness is your own mind, big mind to awaken to this big mind, just do whatever it is you are doing right this moment with your whole heart

just do whatever it is you are doing right this moment with your whole heart

how often do we do that? Do we even know what it is to do something wholeheartedly

to throw ourselves into something 100%.

We can do this and and with many hours of size in under our belts. This becomes more and more possible to just lose ourselves and in our activity whatever that may be.

If you do this with all your mind, this world will without fail really reveal itself to you. This hard little lump of self will dissolve and you will eventually you will inevitably awaken to big mind

This you could say this is the lubricant of things. This giving ourselves totally. The more we do this the more friction will diminish it's a holding back that gums up the works

joyful mind is the mind that cannot help but feel gratitude. It is not that you feel thankful because you're supposed to feel thankful. But rather that you cannot help but feel thankful. You feel so much gratitude that it spills over as Joy

Roshi COVID used to call gratitude the most exalted emotion, the kind of flags spiritual understanding this kind of gratitude

and then, from that boundless joy, kindness arises, kindness, which is born from thoroughly exhausting all of one small self and merging to become one with others. This is parental mind. Hind the mind of, of loving kindness the mind the mind of no lag

this this parental mind grows with use.

When big mind joyful mind and parental mind come together as one body, just this is in itself body sat for mind.

And isn't this indeed the very basis of all education of our children Shakyamuni Buddha and the patriarchs teach the fundamentals of education in this way, to each child from the first is the master of big mind. If this heart is encouraged to spring forth, the child will naturally become cheerful and problems will take care of themselves, the child will become a human being who is sensitive to the pain of others, sensitivity to others, joy which flows of itself, these functions of life are gradually cultivated. No matter how much you study, or how many books you read, or how much theory you learn, this kind of knowledge can only be an aid, but never the driving source, never the driving force toward peace of mind. And actually, if one is not careful, theoretical exercise can even be an obstacle. The important thing is to let go of mind and body and take refuge in truth itself. It is a matter of permitting yourself or you can to recognize truth to sincerely Live in the now which is here where your life is right here. If you see only the differences between yourself and others, you feel easily irritated, overly sensitive

and most of the time, we do see the differences between us and others are much more than we see how much we are the same. And our differences are far outweighed by what we all share. Somebody sent me recently a a guided meditation called a practice for appreciating others that comes from a mindfulness source and as a as a sort of version. A vision of metta practice loving kindness practice and if you take up this, this, this meditation you bring to mind somebody can be somebody You you're close to somebody, a family member or a friend, or a colleague, or it can be somebody, you just see around somebody quite neutral new life, or it can be person with whom you have difficulty. And then you take up this practice. And I got this actually from from Katie in Gore, who who's shared this with the prisoners she works with. The thing is the Invercargill prison and says it, and was telling me that how powerful it is for the prisoners to do this. Which is why I asked her to send it to me. But here's, here's how it goes. So you begin by being aware of the person you're, you're going to be doing the practice with in your mind, or it can actually be somebody who's sitting sitting across from you. This is this is the the script, so to speak. This person has a body and a mind just like me. This person has feelings, thoughts and emotions just like me. This person has during his or her life, experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering, just like me. This person has at some point being sad, just like me, this person has been disappointed in life. Just like me. This person has sometimes been angry, just like me. This person has been hurt by others. Just like me. This person has felt unworthy and inadequate at times, just like me, this person worries just like me, this person is frightened sometimes, just like me, this person will die. Just like me. This person has longed for friendship. Just like me. This person is yearning about life, just like me. This person is learning. Just like me. This person wants to be caring and kind to others. Just like me. This person wants to be content with what life has given. Just like me. This person wishes to be free from pain and suffering. Just like me. This person wants to be happy. Just like me. This person wishes to be safe, strong and healthy. Just like me this person wishes to be loved just like me

if you see only the differences between yourself and others, you feel easily irritated, overly sensitive. If you're out to take care of just your own little self guide your own little castle protect your own sacred existence in whatever way you can. It'll all eventually just go under anyway Won't it so go back to the starting point. Return to your true home the home which is the same for every single being in this world. I want you to see into your true self I want to wait you to awaken to your true self.

Now for the second part of this talk, we're going to go back to the Zenvo tissue on tangan and have a look at some reminiscences about him

from whiz Borden was born has been a member of the Center for however, he was a student of Roshi Kapleau in his own little potted bio, by his photograph and the issue he says, with borders application for membership in the Rochester Zen Center was initially rejected by Kapleau Roshi, who called wears a spiritual butterfly. He has spent the past 49 years trying to prove the Kepler Roshi, his original assessment was wrong. So he's quite, he's got quite a sense of humor. A spiritual butterfly, I guess is is somebody who who flits from flower to flower taking sips of nectar, but doesn't settle down, hunker down and do the practice with is a Paul was a professor of chemistry based in Seattle, he's retired now. And he's also been a generous supporter of the Auckland sensata. He was taking part on one of the online sessions that I led last year, middle of last year. So we're going to take up his reminiscences partway through his talking about the very first time he met a tongue and Roshi when he went to went to Chicago gene this was in in 1979. And he describes how he was silently ushered into the the temple by Tongan and handed a stick of incense to light in the Honda which was, which was, it is a the expected first thing that you do when you come to a new temple is to offer offer at the altar. And so, we did this, that it during his frustrations he was trying to see the figure on the altar because as is often the case in Japanese altars, the figure is sort of somewhat hidden behind curtains. So quite mysterious. And so, after he did his offering or the instance in three frustrations he could just only see the bottom half of the figure and he was sort of ducking down maybe to try and look under the curtain so the rushes saw that what he was trying to do, and, and actually lifted the the large heavy finger off the altar, and we says he cradled it in his arms, with the same affection one man cradle one's own child, Tango rashie then said his first words to me, Canon Sangha. Canon comes down Avalokiteshvara bodies for compassion in summer is an honorific, meaning precious, in fact, people at puppetry or called Tongan Roshi, Roshi sama. So it's a term of of affection and respect. After returning Chiron summer to the altar, the Roshi signaled me to sit down on a cushion that he pushed across the tatami floor towards me. As I said, watching he poured a cup of tea for me. Only then did he say his first sentence to me. How did you come here? I was so happy to hear that Tongan Roshi spoke some English that I did not include. It did not occur to me that he might be asking me quotes Zen question without bloating, thinking about it I blurted out taxi. Now, some of you are already chuckling because you've been exposed to so many cons in Mando, in which this is the the first question in the exchange where have you come from? And of course, it means more than how did you get here what conveyance did you use or wherever you come from? is stunning. Example of this from from many are a couple of examples of this

question, which is in other words, where where do you come from where you what is your truth? What are you who are you the the case the story that is behind the preliminary con What is this Here Here it is, why Iran into the room and bowed to why knowing this is the sixth ancestor. Where do you come from? Why non asks, I come from Mount Song replied why Iran? So he didn't get it either. So why isn't good company? What is this and how did it get here demanded why not? Why Iran could not answer and remain speechless. He practiced for many years, until he understood and seems like it was eight years that he practiced between this question and understood his understanding. He went to sweet see way nung to tell him about his breakthrough, why knowing said what is this why rang replied to say it as a thing misses the mark. But still it can be cultivated. Course these stories are so boiled down that we can miss the the, the intensity of the life behind the story

just one other example of the same kind of thing.

This is yo yo Shan and I'm in a monk, anonymous monk Yahshua and asked a monk who a monk who had just arrived at the temple, where do you come from? The monk said from Hunan Yoshua and past his Dongting Lake follow not so good. He gave him a second chance. His Dongshan didn't like fall or not the monks did. It is not for Yushin said there's been a lot of rain lately lately. Why isn't it fall? The monk did not answer. So these questions are a way of, of testing the water of discovering what the state of mind of the person asked is, where are they where are they coming from? We use this expression. So back to be kaka G in 1979. Roshi, Tang and Roshi asks How did you come here?

And ways replies taxi the Roshi looked at me disapprovingly. I thought he disapproved because the temple was quite near to the train station. Therefore, I stayed. I did not know the way from the station to here so I took a taxi. He nodded and said, I show you so tomorrow you can walk to station Despite this, the fact that there was a sesshin in progress at Macaca G. The Roshi acted as though he had all the time in the world to walk me to the train station so I could get on the train back to Kyoto the next day when on our walk, he came to a large road he paused and said look right look left look right then cross. Probably mean that remember this, some of us at least from from our childhoods and being taught this hammered into us. Sit with the opposite directions goes. He accompanied each of his words with the appropriate turn of his head. Right, left right then straight ahead. Actually, now I wouldn't be opposite because Japan drives on the same side as we do. So anyway, he's giving him another little lesson and attention is here. On the way back to the temple, we encountered a young woman pushing a baby carriage, she and Tang and Roshi greeted each other. And although I could not understand where they said to each other, the mutual affection in the greeting was palpable. Wow, I thought the Roshi is such a sweet man. Is this the same fierce monk who had stood behind Phillip Kapleau all night hitting him with the Kosaku in order to help them come to awakening? I was totally unprepared. When? A few minutes after we met the young woman with the baby carriage, the Roshi turned and said in a conversational time, tone. What time is it where you live? I looked at my watch and tried to Fendt frantically to remember whether to add or to subtract eight hours to convert the time in Japan to the time in Seattle, the rod Roshi kept walking. And I quickly realized that I had not answered the question that the Roshi was actually asking. What time is it were you love? What are the times like? Again, so he's giving him another chance is asking another Zen question. My reaction to my mistake surprised me. As a chemistry professor to be unable to answer a quick chemistry question correctly, would be the worst kind of humiliation for me. After nine years of Zen practice, four years of them spent working on koans I had not even realized that the Roshi was asking me as another Zen question. I should have been humiliated, but wasn't. I can only explain my lack of reaction to my mistake by saying that I had said that I somehow felt the Roshi was not judging me. He was just seeing me exactly as I was. This allowed me to see my failure to grasp the question that the Roshi was actually asking me as exactly what it was my failure to grasp the question that the Roshi was at really asking me without adding a judgment to it. I experienced the same type of holy, uncharacteristic lack of my judging myself. A few hours later, the Roshi asked me if I wanted to join this machine. And when I said yes, he took me to the Zendo and show me where to serve after several rounds of Zazie, and there was afternoon chanting. But when I returned to the Zendo, for Mozi, and after chanting, I was the only person there we had everyone else gone. Traditionally, one chance we once it's in the Zendo, but chants in the Honda in the Hondo the Dharma Hall. So he comes back to the spookily empty Zendo. I figured that sooner or later, the other sesshin participants would return to the Zendo. So I sat down and started doing Zen again. However, a few minutes later, the Roshi entered the Zendo rabbit, his hands together to get my attention, and in school, escorted me to the dining hall. This is a quiet way that one can attract somebody's attention in a Zendo or other quiet space.

He said nothing to me. But when we arrived at the dining hall, all of the other sesshin participants were seated at tables waiting for me, so that they could begin to eat the evening meal. How embarrassing. Normally, I would have prayed for the Earth to open up and swallow me. However, miraculously, I did not feel humiliated. I had not known that everyone was going to dinner. So I had returned to the Zendo. Those were the facts, and there was really nothing more that was necessary to add. Not only did I not hate myself for my terrible faux pas, I did not even think about it again. I just sat down to eat dinner. I can only attribute my totally uncharacteristic lack of embarrassment for my mistake, to the fact that I somehow felt that the Roshi had again accepted what had happened without judging me. Therefore, there was no reason for me to judge myself. In rising about this incident, 39 years later, I can still recall an incredible feeling of freedom, freedom from the usual cascade of thoughts about what had happened, freedom from my own rationalizations of it and freedom from the usual stream of negative self judgments. What a gift

Tongan Roshi was very good at providing me with such moments of freedom, because I made many mistakes at Recology. For example, two years later, I visited Pukaki with Ken craft, with whom I had begun doing zazzy in the attic of a Harvard undergraduate dorm in 1970. From bukata G Qin and I visited the grave of Herodotus Sagar Gurashi, who was not only Tongan Roshi, his teacher, but also his adoptive father. We also visited the little house we had at Roshi had lived in which he had given to Tongan Roshi. When we returned to Chicago, G Tongan Roshi was waiting for us. He immediately said, What did heard Roshi say to you? My mind first It was filled with thoughts about the fact that Harada Roshi was not only Tongan Rosie's teacher but also his father, adoptive father, never having met harder Roshi, how could I respond to Tongans question without sounding presumptuous? And without possibly offending Tongan Roshi? With all of these four thoughts filling my head, the best I could do was to answer Tongan Roshi his question with a lame reply heritor Roshi said welcome. Rather skeptically Tongan Roshi queried Herodotus said welcome Yes, he said welcome didn t can. I reply tuning to gamecraft can cry, Cain was gracious and shared the blame for my lame response. He agreed that harder Roshi had said welcome. However, when Ken and I were alone again, Ken said, I thought harder Roshi said nothing but Mu. Why didn't she give that response? I asked. Ken replied, I thought you had more experience working on cards than I saw, I thought that your answer would be better than mine. Ken was too polite to add, but I was certainly wrong when that assumption assumption. So not only had Tongan Roshi witnessed my really lame answer to his question, but my friend and fellows in student can craft had heard it too. Once again. To my complete surprise, I did not think about the matter again.

I seem fated to make mistake after mistake around Tongan Roshi. However, despite the many mistakes that I had, that I made around him, which he certainly wouldn't witnessed, I did not feel that he don't judge me, at least not in the way that I usually judge myself. I sense that in fact, he cared for me. He cared for me in a way that I still find hard to explain, because it had nothing to do with what I usually call me. He cared for me in the same way that I care for my granddaughters, not for what they say or do or how they behave. But just because they are my granddaughters. Tongan went out of his way to take care of me that was apparent when he showed me where to sleep on my first night it because energy to my surprise, he laid out my futon for me. In other words, while I watched Tang and Roshi made my bed for me then he looked carefully at me so my long legs and added an extra cushion and an extra cold at the foot of my futon saying only keep feet warm

I think this is a good place to stop for now. And we'll take take up the the rest of this tomorrow. So right now we'll shout four vows

all beings without number. To liberate and spline passions I vow to uproot Dharma gates beyond measure to penetrate the great way all Buddha to attain all the things without number to liberate and learn spline passions. to uproot Dharma gaze beyond measure yo to penetrate the gray whale pura to attain all the things without number two to liberate and learn spline Pascha koans Ivo to route Dharma gates. beyond measure to penetrate the Great White Buddha to attain