S11 E6 King of Hugs: Tim Harris on Inclusion and Spreading Joy

1:14PM Oct 19, 2023

Speakers:

Tim Villegas

Tim Harris

Keywords:

tim

hugs

school

high school

inclusion

damien

inclusive education

restaurant

disabilities

seizures

tim harris

awesome

life

inclusive

graduated

new mexico

people

dream

best friend

albuquerque

Hi friends I'm Tim Vegas from the Maryland Coalition for Inclusive Education and you are listening to thinking inclusive, our podcast that brings you conversations about inclusive education and what inclusion looks like in the real world.

Tim Harris, an entrepreneur and former restaurant owner in Albuquerque, New Mexico, as defied expectations from birth as a person with Down syndrome. He became a Special Olympics athlete at a young age he excelled academically and graduated as the homecoming king and Student of the Year from Eldorado High School in 2004. Tim attended eastern New Mexico University where he acquired certificates in food service, office skills, and restaurant hosting. In 2010, he fulfilled his dream of opening Tim's place, the first restaurant owned by a man with Down syndrome known for his Tim hugs. His journey and powerful message have led him to a successful speaking career reaching audiences worldwide. In 2021, Tim authored the book of hugs, a children's book that emphasizes the healing power of hugs, furthering his mission to spread positivity and inspiration. His remarkable story has garnered international recognition through features in multiple media outlets. In fact, here's a clip from KR QE from August of 2014.

If you're looking for a reason, and the need to smile on this Friday morning, this is it. Today's gonna remember for the rest of his life, you know, Tim Harris from Tim's place here in Albuquerque, great little restaurant. Well, Tim was at the White House last night, but that was only the beginning of a great night for him.

Oh, yes, President Obama and the First Lady. We're hosting a celebration of Special Olympics and a unified generation. When the President specifically recognized him watch.

Now he has a restaurant in Albuquerque called Tim's place. The most popular item is the hug Tim's gifts. His customers so far more than 42,000 have been served. So where's

the President then said, Hey, Tim, I didn't get a hug. And guess what happens? Tim emerges from the audience that goes up there. And you'll see it in a second. It gives the President one of his signature hugs, and brings a huge smile to the chief executive and everybody in the audience. Congratulations to him. He even whispered a few words of encouragement to President Obama, which the President appreciated very much. He says well, it is.

For this episode, Tim shares his experiences and insights on inclusion and living an awesome life. Tim talks about his favorite memories from his restaurant Tim's place. Tim also opens up about the decision to close his restaurant, and the impact it had on his life. Tim emphasizes the importance of dreaming big, and standing up for oneself, and he encourages people with disabilities to embrace their awesomeness, and be a light in the world. This week, I'd like to highlight one of the sponsors for a narrative podcast series, inclusion stories, roots of inclusion. Roots of inclusion envisions a society where every individual experiences unconditional belonging, their human dignity and unique contributions are valued. And they learn, live and work in equitable, inclusive and accessible communities. Their mission is to amplify the voices of youth and their families to promote equity, inclusion and belonging in schools and communities. They leverage this foundation to build a more just inclusive and vibrant society. Learn more at roots of inclusion.org. We've got a great conversation for you today. That will help all of us to think inclusive, and for free time. This week, I introduce you to Ashley, who tells her story of what inclusive education has meant for her son Damien. We'll be back after a quick break.

Tim Harris, welcome to think inclusive.

I'm excited to be here. Well,

we're excited to have you. So Tim and I met at the club 21 conference in Pasadena, California. Earlier this year. I saw Tim speak you talked about your life. You talked about your restaurant you talked about the book of how Dogs, so a lot of people may know you from, you know the coverage you got when you opened your restaurant Tim's place. Thinking back, what's one memory that you have about Tim's place?

My favorite memory was the people walking through the front door. And that's where the world that comes in. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.

So you were kind of known for giving people hugs, right?

Yep. It's true. The dogs?

The king of hugs. Oh, yeah. How did you keep track of like how many hugs you gave?

I had a hug. cooker. In my pocket, I will always cook every hug.

And so so a person would come in, you give them a hug, and you click and then what would you do with the what would you do with that after the end of the day?

Oh, Adam, to the wall.

Oh, right. Because you had a you had a hug a counter on the wall on the wall? Yeah. Oh, wow. Do you know? Do you happen to remember how many hugs you gave?

Last count? Yeah. 1000s I'm

sure. Well, yeah, over 1000s Yeah. 1000s that 1000s and 1000s. So I know that you made the hard decision to close Tim's place. So what was that decision? Like?

It was very sad when I decided that. But my public speaking is awesome right now.

Oh, yeah. You actually spoke at a gala last night?

I did. It was I was helping with the raffle prizes. Nice guy to announce the winners of them. That's really cool.

So I know you've been to California. And you said you were in New Jersey last night. Do you have any other plans for travel?

Oh, no, that's exactly yet but I will soon. I used to live in Colorado. I live in New in New Mexico. Oh, you live in New Mexico. Okay, I started Yeah, I moved home because I expected mine. First niece and nephew. Oh, that's great. Yeah, the kids know, I'm Uncle Tim. Yeah, you are? Oh, yeah. That's awesome.

I'm also an uncle, like I have met so my. My wife's has brothers and sisters. And so they have kids. And so I'm on Uncle Tim, as well. So we as awesome as it is awesome to have nieces and nephews for sure. For sure. So you're known for giving hugs, and you even wrote a book about it. I think it's called the Book of hugs. So why why is giving hugs important to you?

And love Give me a hug. So oaks. I was born to give them out. It makes me feel awesome. And, and

loved. And I'm sure the people that get the hugs feel good, too. Oh, yeah, it's

awesome out there, too.

So tell me about your children's book. What is the book of hugs about?

It's about three simple steps of giving a good hug, just like me.

So when I saw you at club, the club 21 conference in Pasadena. I got a couple books to bring home with me. And so we I read him with my youngest daughter. And we ended up giving the books to our local elementary school. So they so your book is in a kindergarten class at our local school in a first grade class, so that's awesome. Yes. So if anyone is thinking of, of ways how they can support well hugs in general, but also an independent author like yourself, buying books and giving him to school libraries is a great way to do it.

It's really cool boy. Yeah,

it's really cool. So what was your experience like in school?

My experience was fun in school. I weigh popular in the student body and I won homecoming king in my senior year. Oh, wow. And this was in New Mexico. Yes. In New Mexico. It was a long time ago. I just celebrated 19 years. I mean up there, bro.

You and me both man. Well, I graduated in 96. So I have got you beat. Oh, yeah. So you were homecoming king in high school. And you went to so were you in special ed you occasion classes, like, all the time, or were you included in with Gen Ed at all in high school?

It was mostly special ed. Yeah. So how

did you? How did you build community? And how did you like? How did you include yourself in the community if you were in special classes?

Oh, I got in cluded with the student body in the courtyard, having lunch with all those people. So you ate lunch with everyone else? Yeah, I had lunch with all all those people out there. And out there at lunch. I was like a sophomore. I made a best friend out there. Her name was Ashton Mizel. She became my best friend for a long, long time.

So it was important to you to have a friend.

Well, yeah, she's more than a friend. She's like a family member to us now. Right, right.

But that wouldn't have happened. I guess if you like ate lunch in your class off?

Yeah. Yeah, I was. I've been bullied for for half of my high school life until I was a senior. Oh, what was what was that like? getting bullied? It didn't feel good. And I mean, friends with a football team. They're there. We're going to add to practice one day and saw kids picking on me taking my lunch money. So they're, they're about 20 guys. And they did a full tackle in the hallway. And dented two lockers with those kids. Well, that sounds like a scene out of a movie. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. Like, ever since the house evening stocks ever seen. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. So you had you had the football team had your back?

They did have my back the whole entire time I was in school. Did you?

Did you play football?

No, I just felt that they had my back. How did you

develop? How did you develop friendships with the football team? Did you like go with games? Or did you?

I've been to the games and basketball games. And I was I was the ego mascot.

Okay, for the for football or for basketball?

For the basketball games and football games.

Okay, so see. Okay. All right. So you were the way you said you were the you were the mascot?

Yeah, I was the I was the mascot for my high school. Eldorado.

So you see, did you wear a costume?

Yeah, it was a mascot costume. of the eagle. Oh, yeah. Wow.

I bet that was fun.

Oh, yeah. Ever since. Ever since I went homecoming king. I got to I got to take a break from the from the ego mascot.

I bet that was hot in that costume.

It was hard. And so I did all of it.

So what would you like to tell teachers? About people with Down syndrome?

I want to tell them that we are a gift to the world. And I want them to tell them. Don't be afraid. Because because we are awesome. We are the world.

It sounds like you had teachers that believed in you. Is that right?

I did. Yeah. They will believe that. I can do anything. You can dream it. You can do it.

Yeah. And look at you right now. Tim. traveling the country,

covering the country and bringing joy to people with Down syndrome that has a heart effects. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. It is awesome. Do you feel like this is your like, this is what you were born to do, right? Oh, yeah. Always. Yeah, yeah.

What about inclusion like what does inclusion mean to you?

It is like being a being accepted into the world. And we awesome. We bring, we bring light into people's hearts. Don't be afraid of the darkness be the light. I like that.

What advice would you give to people with disabilities who want to be included?

I want them to Dream Bed and In being awesome, and having fun. What about dreams

for you? What big dreams do you have for your future?

I had, I had a dream of having a girlfriend and I make no dream come true for me. Right? Yeah, her name is Elaine. And she's awesome. I love her so much. She means everything to me. She knows in Texas. Yeah, recently I was at a at a military ball. And we do a lot of dancing. I'll see you like to dance. Oh, yeah, I like to dance in here. And break and break and move. I have. I have a lot of dance moves. And I love to cut a rug with her.

You are a man of many talents. Tim.

Yeah. And another thing too.

He's a, he's a triple threat. moves. He's got the dance moves. He's got the singing and then I bet you I bet you do some good acting to. What did you do? When you were in high school? Let me work in school in general. Did you do any? Like theater?

I know in high school, but in college. Where do you go to college? eastern New Mexico University of Walkersville.

Oh, nice. Nice. Oh, so you did some theater in college? Very cool. Yeah. I

was in the special ed department there in college. And I learned a lot I did. I graduated in food service. Westra hosting and office skills. And I learned to type fast. I like computer. That's fantastic. Is that what?

Going back to your restaurant like eat because you said you graduated with a with a degree or with training and food service. So like, was it in preparation for you to open a restaurant?

Oh, yeah. It helped me a lot to get out there in the world. In high school. My best friend Astin helped me get a job at a restaurant called Red Robin into West Rock is like a chain. And she got excited ng talked to the management and got me a job there.

What did you do at Red Robin?

I was a host with the front door opening the front door and flexing my muscles here. It was so much fun.

Wow. So that was like pre Tim's place. It was kind of like that, but a little bit. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So it prepared you for opening the restaurant. Like because you had experience, right?

Oh, yes, I did. After I closed my place. After I cried a lot. I got hired to work for the range cafe in New Mexico. Okay, as a host as a host a long time ago by now I came tables and came making money so I can live an awesome life. Yeah, yep. And now you get paid to speak. It's awesome. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, my life coach. She's my business partner as well. She helps me book. She helps book by events.

So Tim, what advice would you give to people with disabilities who want to be included?

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. It's good to stand up and and show the world how awesome we are. What advice

do you have for people with disabilities who may be listening to our conversation?

I want them to dream big. So they can be like me.

Fantastic. Tim, I know that you do a lot of public speaking. So what are some of the things that you talk about when you give your speeches?

I talk about my seven steps to my awesome life.

Okay, and seven steps and the other topics.

My my favorite topic is don't worry about the darkness be the light. That topic is really sensitive for me too, because I talked about my parents in that. What about your parents? When I talked about that? I break down and cry sometimes. Somebody and I get somebody to come up on stage and give me a hug after I cry. Like my life coach Hear it or somebody that's on stage, taller than me hug.

It sounds like your parents have been very supportive.

They've been a part of my life for a long time. Yeah, I do. I have someone else to mention, I'm here to measure my mom. Because she's my rock. My Everything. I want to tell her Happy Mother's Day. And over. Are you going to see your mom on Mother's Day? Yes, I will. I'm doing tell us how to get weary to make her happy. Oh, nice. Nice. Excellent. Oh, yeah. So awesome. I do have a spousal saw that my best friend in nice saying was really special. With my Patreon asked him. You have a song that you sing with Ashton? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. It's really fun. It's really moving for people to hear that. Okay. It's awesome. All

right. Did you did you want to? Did you want to sing it? Yeah,

just for a quick second. Yeah. You go ahead, man. Lean on me when you're strong, and I'll be your friend. Help you carry on for a won't be long to anger Ernie, a best friend to lean on. That's nice work. That's the song I became best friends with Ashton.

Awesome. Tim Harris. Thanks for being on the think inclusive podcast. We appreciate your time.

Thank you for having me here. Tim. Mr. Cool.

I'm keeping that in. Oh, yeah.

That chime means it's free time. And this week, I want to share Ashley story about her son Damien. Damien goes to school in Calvert County Public Schools. In Maryland, one of MCIE e's longtime partner school districts. She explains what inclusive education has meant for her son in high school.

I'm Ashley. I had Damian when I was 16. Very young. And my mom my parents helped me out a lot with when he was a baby and graduating high school and stuff. When he was about two and a half, he started having seizures at nighttime, and they just kind of progressed really bad. And so all these different types of seizures. His exact diagnosis is Linux gaesco syndrome, then we found the right combination of medicine and 2014. And ever since then, he's been seizure free zero seizures. He's always been in a functional skills class since third grade, once he got to high school to the functional skills class, we noticed the severe change in his own confident self esteem. He was in that classroom all day long, except for one class for his resource class, and then for lunch, but at lunchtime, he had to sit with that class as well. So anytime they would leave that classroom and walk in the hallway to lunch to the gym, to wherever Damien would always walk away from them. Mr. Brian had mentioned it to me before Damien did go to high school, that he could do the inclusion at his home school. And then I was just really nervous. Because it was it would have been his first year in high school. I just I just wasn't comfortable. I didn't know much detail either. The way I had envisioned it was Damien would be thrown into high school figure it out, you know what I mean? Kind of like, get a schedule. Nobody would be with him. He had been he had had a one on one assistant his whole life. So it was just like, oh, that's intimidating. So it was like, you know, not this year, Brian, even on the last day of school, he asked again, which, you know, I wish I would have said yes, but it is what it is. But he was pretty, you know, adamant he's like He can do this, Ashley, like, you know, it's not fair that he has to go to a whole nother school that's out of his school district. So I was just nervous. But he did you know, he went to that high school for a year and a half, almost two years, I had decided to reach out to Brian again and just say, you know, hey, do you think that Calvert high would be an option for Damien? And immediately he was like, Absolutely, yes. Let's do it. Like, you know, I'm gonna hook you up with my wife, my wife will help bring you help us. And within two or three months, the plan was set. And that was the best decision I've ever made. Damien has never been so enthusiastic about school. He loves going to school. He doesn't want to miss a day ever. His confidence is through the roof, his self esteem is through the roof. You know, he's doing normal 11th grade stuff, it's not so much for the education piece, it's for the experience so that he does feel like he is a normal 11th grader. Because he, you know, he knows he has a disability, he knows that he's still struggling to read and stuff like that. So but like where he's at now at that school, like you can never, I can never tell that he is different, because he's just included in everything down to the football team. He was the football manager of the whole football team at that school. So just the, you know, in his IEP, the goals and stuff are still the same, but he has a wonderful caseworker, a wonderful teacher, all of his teachers have been wonderful. They have nothing but you know, really good stuff to say about Damien. They wish that every kid had the same attitude about school like Damian does, because he just loves school. And I just feel like he has never thrived so much as he has this school year, we didn't do a, like an IEP meeting, we did a map meeting. And I really liked that, like Brian made it about, not everything that Damien can't do. He made it about everything that Damien can do. And that's something that I love, because I feel like IEP meeting, sometimes there's so intimidating and so negative, because it's just everything that your child can't do. So I was really happy about that piece. So that kinda like already was like, Okay, well, this is different. And I just, it wasn't, I guess, before, it wasn't explained as much as Brian and Britton, his wife explained it this time. And when they explain that, you know, he's not just going to be thrown in there with the schedule and expect it to just figure out everything. That's not how it is at all. Now I'm completely satisfied with it. Any child can be a part of inclusive education, no matter the disability, in my opinion, I think it ultimately will change your child's whole life. As far as self esteem and confidence, I mean, that is one thing that's so important. And now that Damien is in there, I feel like it has given given him a lot of motivation, a lot of determination, almost a sense of security. You know, and I would just say, don't, you know, don't give up because we are our voice for our children, when they can't be, and I just feel like if, you know, if it was always here, if inclusive education was was always an option, then it wouldn't be so many, you know, bullies or insecurities within kids with disabilities. So, you know, don't give up. If I you know, if we would have given up Damian wouldn't be at the school right now, you know, he would still be in the functional skills class. And I don't even want to think about how his mental health would be. But, you know, that's, I think that's just the main thing. Don't give up. Be the voice for your child. You know, you know what makes your child happy you know what your child deserves. So that would be the main thing.

For more information about inclusive education, or to learn how you can partner with MCIE on school transformation or professional learning opportunities, visit MCIE.org. Thanks again to roots of inclusion for being one of our amazing sponsors for inclusion stories. We could have not done this project without your love thinking cluesive Here are a few ways to let us know. Rate us on Spotify, or leave us a review on Apple podcasts. Become a patron like these fine people. thank you to Aaron P. Charity, joiner a, Cathy B, Mark C, Gabi M. Kathleen T. And Paulette W. We appreciate your continued support of thinking inclusive, think inclusive is written, edited, designed, mixed and mastered by me Tim Vegas, Original Music by miles credit. Additional music from melody. Thanks for your time and attention and remember, inclusion always works

I am training to become a body builder. I belong to a gym there's a body building gyms for new cool.

Oh wow. Yeah, so that's that's hard work.

It is hard work. Trying to get there. It's hard right? Well, yeah.

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