How to Handle Challenging Toddler Behavior at Bedtime

6:41PM Dec 10, 2021

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Alright, hello, everyone, happy to have you here in Lehigh Valley sleep coach community. So today I want to chat with you about how do we handle challenging toddler behavior at bedtime, particularly that testing behavior. And when I say testing behavior, what I mean is you tell your toddler, okay, we're gonna read one book tonight for bed. And they go, Oh, but I want to read three books.

Now. You know, or, or maybe you say to them, okay, you're gonna sleep in your bed tonight, like a big girl like a big boy, oh, I want to sleep in your bed, Mommy, you know, that kind of behavior that makes you as a parent go. Just do what I say. So we're going to talk about how do we handle that exactly. In a way that kind of puts you in control, but still, you know, makes your child feel safe and secure.

And if it happens tonight, it's gonna happen the next night, and that you will, you will see a decrease in those testing behaviors. Because if they know, it's only one book at bedtime, and it was last night, and the night before the night before that, then they're like, Wow, I could really give him a hard time about it and try to get three books, but it never works, we only just do one. So I'll just, I'll just deal with it, we'll just do one, you know, so it kind of it can really help to diminish those kinds of behaviors you don't want to see. So that's first and foremost, we all want a predictable bedtime routine.

So what's, what's the way to handle that? So one thing I would do for bedtime? Well, first, first and foremost, we want to make sure whatever you're doing for your bedtime routine, tonight is the same thing you did the night before. And that's the same thing you're going to do tomorrow night. So we want that predictable, routine. So it's not like one night, it's bedtime. And you decide, hey, we're gonna read three books, the next night, you decide no book, I mean, that can be confusing to a child. And it can be a little scary for them, they're not quite sure what to expect. They don't know what's coming next. So you want that predictable, that solid bedtime routine.

The second thing is, I don't know about you, but my daughter, she's not a toddler anymore. She's six, but even even now, but especially when she was a toddler, it would really help if we had a timer for her. And I will put the link, you just write a reminder to myself in the chat of my favorite timer. For kids, they make it as an app. And then they also make it like a physical timer you can hold in your hand, I can quick show you the app. So if you've put a timer for five minutes, it's gonna show like a red bar for five minutes, and then it's four. Now it's a little bit less red, three, it's a little less red, to a little less red, one less red. Eventually, when it's blank, that means time is up. Okay, so here, I can show you right here. Here's a timer for three minutes. Okay, so you can see how it only shows the time that is purple bars shows you three minutes. And then when the time goes up, it can vibrate or make a little ding. I love it. It's when I was a teacher, I would use it often. And and that's how I heard about it.

So you kind of want to figure out okay, how long does it take my toddler to do their bedtime routine, what is a reasonable amount of time should take about 15 to 20 minutes for them to you know, brush their teeth, try potty, pajamas, wash face, all that kind of stuff. And you want to give them that timer to help them stay on track. And it can be really fun for them because they can be like, "Oh, I'm gonna beat the timer tonight." It can be they kind of like that challenge. It makes it more of a game for them. So that's my second tip is a timer.

The third tip and the last tip is to set limits and I touched upon this earlier as far as books. So one book, that's it. And when I say one book, I do not mean you know what is it the lord of the rings that big thick book? I mean for a toddler, maybe a 10 page book or something? Think of like The Very Hungry Caterpillar that kind of book where it's, it's not gonna take you more than like five minutes to read that is adequate and really bite sized for them perfect. So that's what you're looking for as far as books.

And so we want to set a limit. Let's see, I'm trying to think of a good example for limits because they they will test everything you let them test. And if you let them get away with one thing, then they think, oh, what else will Mom, let me get away with? So for example, maybe they have, you know, a couple different toothbrushes. Maybe grandma grandpa bought them like a special one or something. The limit could be whatever toothbrush you pick for tonight, you have to use you can't pick that, that sparkly one, and then midway through brushing up, I want the green one. Here's the limit. And if they give you a hard time, then there has to also be a consequence. So a good consequence could be at least for my daughter's and she loves her independence. Okay, if you choose that other toothbrush, after I already said you're not allowed to then I'm going to brush your teeth, not you. She'd never liked that. Or I pick the book we read at bed, not you, or no book at bed, you see where I'm going here. So those are all good things to do to set limits, limits and consequences for that to get rid of that behavior you don't want to see. Alright, so I'm hoping these tips help you and just to kind of summarize them the very number one most important tip is to have a predictable solid bedtime routine. Number two, use that time timer. Number three set limits with consequences it will help get rid of those icky behaviors that make you go Oh,not this again.

Right. All right. Let me know if you have any questions. It was great chatting with you.