Hey there friends. Welcome to episode seven. Before we jump in, I need to say as this episode is airing on February 1, if you are a non black person of color, or a white person, please be sure that the way you are showing up in support of Black History month in February continues and deepens after February 28. It is our duty. All right. Now, to today's episode, I'm going to be frank, as I start, I spent the better part of 30 years, yes, you heard me right, 30 years, running from who I am trying to be somebody, I wasn't someone who wasn't too much of this or too little of that. Trying and of course, failing right to fit in to be accepted. I'll never forget, as I got closer to 40, probably somewhere in my late 30s, late 30s. I wasn't quite yet to 40. And someone told me that it was when they reached 40 that they stopped giving a fuck about what other people thought or what they had to say. And I remember being skeptical and thinking you're right, like, that'll never happen. Good for you, though. And I really meant it right? I'll be honest, the thoughts stayed with me since that moment, and as I turned 40, I wondered if it might be possible. And I have no idea. If it's because of in that conversation, the seed had been planted. Or if it's divine intervention, or simply, naturally, a switch is flipped at 40. But let me tell you, it happened. I turned 40 February 25 2022. And I gotta tell you, I reached I don't give a fuck dumb. This. I don't know if that that exists. Before recording this. I did not Google it. So I hope no one comes after me for any sort of trademark infraction or anything, but that's what I'm using. I don't give a fuck dumb. It's amazing. And I'll be honest, right? I'm not all the way in. But the parts of me that are holy moly, there is a big ass difference. So the shit we need to talk about in this episode is the fact that a place called I don't give a fuck them exists. It is beautiful. And my friend, you are invited to join me whether I know you, whether we are Instagram friends, whether I have never met you, you are here in this space, therefore you are invited to join me. And in case you don't know it, February is my birthday month, where in my little world every day there is a celebration of staff and I'd be happy for you to join me in it. Because if you're not doing that, are we even friends like I don't know, you let me know. My birthday is a big friggin deal. And you're gonna hear more and more about this in whatever space you happen to be in, whether it's here or anywhere else. And in honor of my birthday month, I decided to do something really vulnerable in this episode. And share with you some lessons I've learned and a Ha's I've had over the last year or so with the hopes that although you and I have different identities and experiences, my experiences My aha is my lessons may be of support to you. And if you're nowhere near 40 My hope is that you'll reach I don't give a fuck them sooner than I did. And if you are already into or past your 40s but haven't yet reached I don't give a fuck dumb friend. I need to believe it's not too late. And if you've been in the space with me before, you know I've got to say this. The journey to I don't give a fucked up to remaining here it will be full of work. It will be full of learning and unlearning of coming to terms with shit you used to believe that maybe don't hold anymore. It may be full of tears, it may be full of joy and happiness and discomfort in celebration. Friends, it is going to be full of a whole lot of shit and a whole lot of stuff and it'll be worth it. I'll be here with you, celebrating you and holding space with for you along the way. And now I'm sure that you've seen from the timestamp that this episode is probably going to end up be a bit longer than others due to my storytelling. And I normally try to keep the episodes It's under 30 minutes. But in true step form, I'm not concise. This is my best attempt without droning on and on, so I'm going to try friends, but I hope that you're here for it. Feel free to fast forward or pause and come back as necessary. I'm trying my best here. So you're ready to jump in. The first of my lessons is self love is number one indicates you're rolling your eyes. I know I know. I know. It sounds so corny. Especially given that February is the month for Valentine's Day. It's a Hallmark holiday friends, can we be honest, can we agree? Not to mention? New we know how dominant culture talks about self love right bubble baths, wearing shirts with self love slogans which I have to tell you,
I freakin love them so much. So so much.
And honestly, one of the ways that society especially the fitness industry perpetuates Self Love is the messaging of loving yourself into a quote unquote, healthy lifestyle of eating right, aka dieting, of working out, aka punishing yourself in workouts. And also curating your perfect look that is complete with always being put together with the right hairstyle, makeup, clothes, clothing, size shoes, all the things, right. But friend, self love is exactly what the phrase says. Loving yourself, not hiding yourself, not restricting yourself in the name of achieving a certain weight, or clothing size, not punishing yourself in workouts in the same vein, not wearing makeup to look less or look different, unless you want to. It's not trying to conform to what society says is right, or beautiful, or worthy, or professional or successful. And if this sounds like an impassioned plea, it certainly is. And I'll name that my experience is definitely coloring my words here 100%. You may not know that prior to starting my business, my entire career was in the fitness and wellness industry. I worked in many areas, training athletes as a strength and conditioning coach, teaching fitness classes and leading certification sessions and mentoring aspiring instructors, personal training, managing fitness centers, as well as a large group fitness program. And in 2022, I finally reached my breaking point after nearly 20 years of upholding the restricting and punishing and curating messaging that is so prevalent in the industry. I was tired friends, I was tired of guilting and shaming myself into workouts, meals, clothes and ways of life that didn't feel aligned. I was tired of the numbers game and I stopped wearing my iWatch because I just couldn't deal with the steps and the calories burned. I was tired of peddling all of this messaging. For the first half of 2020 do, I didn't work out unless I was teaching a class. That was the first time I had ever done that in as long as I could remember, even after two pregnancies, and some major surgeries. I had never done it. But I needed a break. And I needed to reevaluate my relationship with exercise. Because for so long exercise was one of the ways I showed myself love. And the thing is like, I love moving my body I have done it for ever. But I don't love guilt and shame. And that's what happened. Like after I stopped spent playing sports after I stopped dancing after I stopped cheerleading. And I wasn't required to be at practice. It was about doing it. Because that was what I was supposed to do to be strong to be flexible to maintain the figure I had. What the fuck? And that continued with me from 18 years old first year of college to now 20 years. I don't have the capacity to deal with guilt and shame anymore over this like I just don't it's been enough. So for the first for I should say for the last half of 2022 and into 2023. I mean it's only been a month right? I've explored in the last seven months, a looser schedule, and really feeling into myself and what feels aligned for that day. Now unlucky because I've got so much training and exercise so I know that things to do right and I realized that that luxury is not afforded to all of you if you're if you don't have the expense reads I have or the education that I have, right like the knowledge that I have of how to create workouts and adjust them. So I understand that I'm coming from a completely different place than you are perhaps. But I want you to know that if you are an exercise or like if you work out, you don't have to be a teacher, you don't have to be a trainer, to be able to adjust your workouts. And the courses that I teach at Rutgers, the academic courses, the purpose that i i hold when I'm teaching these classes to the students, is to help them begin to creatively and critically think about their workouts. And understanding why they're doing what they're doing, what the purpose is, and what they want to get out of it and how they want to feel. So that they're not just blindly following programs that are given to them or that are on YouTube or social media, but that they're choosing for themselves. And so I encourage you to look at things from that aspect, right? If you're like, well, stuff, it's easy for you to because you know, you've got certifications, yeah, you're right it is. But you can just from simply partaking an exercise begin to learn to. It has been the last of a month of working out has been weird, it's been erratic, it's also been really beautiful. Because my workouts are no longer something that I cross off my to do list to say, Yes, I did it right to feel accomplished. It's not something that I do to allow me to eat certain things. And you probably guessed it, my weight and size has changed, not drastically, which is what the industry wants you to believe, right? That it will. And it's funny, because now with less rigidity, I feel more in control happier and connected to myself. And that is not something that is my natural way, my natural way is to look for structure to ground me. And I'm realizing that structure doesn't have to be rigid, when it comes to this, that I can have structure, it just looks different. So please understand, I'm not saying by any means don't have goals don't have standards or structure you have you can have those things, yes, do it. But on your terms informed by messaging that's not based on fear or scarcity, or perfectionism, which by the way, you know, is a construct of white supremacy. And it's not based on something that's misaligned for you. Right, it's not according to the size, calorie intake or professional status, the society dictates is right or successful. And always going from a place of supporting yourself rather than shutting yourself, right, doing the workout because you want to feel strong, or you want to, you know, challenge your heart to be stronger. You want to feel the endorphins you want to push yourself to because you want to write and please, you've heard me on other episodes, say find something that works for you. So coming back to self love. I have to ask, what does it mean to you? Because for me, it's an unconditional adoration of yourself. It's a deep understanding of yourself and honoring of yourself. And while you may feel the need to shift some things or grow in certain ways, please make sure it's not because you're too little of this or too much of that. Because I know that you are not too little or too much in terms of society standards. And also please make sure it's not because you are broken or not enough that you believe that and feel that it's not because of that. My friend Self Love is a devotion to yourself. We often hear the word devotion or devoted in a religious context, right, referring to the way religious people are devoted to their god or gods or in another instance that comes to mind is obituaries. Some people are referred to or described as devoted to their family. I want you to be loyal to yourself, to worship yourself to be in constant observance of yourself, both in witnessing yourself and fulfilling and respecting your requirements. Yes, have requirements. Right. I have choosing self care practices that support you in creating balance that support you in dealing with the hard stuff that support you in the uncomfortableness of shifting what's not serving you. And that support you in being resourced as you show up in love for other people. In your disrupting in all your supporting self love in this real deep and authentic way. opens you to receiving and fully experiencing love your own love
and love from others in a way that is true and authentic and not governed by your past experiences, traumas or beliefs about what you are or are not worthy of. And it helps you to create and uphold boundaries with yourself with others and for yourself. So you can say no as a full sentence, you can say yes, with a full exclamation with zero guilt or shame or wondering if you made the right decision for yourself. It's when my friend you are in a deeply loving relationship with yourself that you can fully and transparently love someone else. Show up in community care and keep yourself resource so you're not looking to be resourced mainly by the people who love you. More to come on this, I got a pause here because we've got so much more to talk about. And in a couple of weeks, there's going to be an episode completely devoted to self love. So just hang on for that. Okay, stay tuned. So the second lesson that I have come to terms with is to know and understand yourself, and do not, do not compare yourself. My friend, you are an individual with very specific characteristics, and a makeup that is 100%. yours alone, you are not the same as anyone else your experiences are your own, and your identities as well as your experiences at the intersection of them matter. If you've been in space with me for a while you may already know this. However, for those of you who are new around here, I'll quickly share that within the science of Ayurveda. There are three energies that play in our lives and within nature, as well, that stem from five elements of nature, which are air, ether, fire, water and earth, these energies are present within and around us at all times in different concentrations. Usually one is more dominant, the others, sometimes two are more dominant with the last one kind of less. And these energies govern everything, your physical characteristics, mental emotional tendencies, your physiology, including digestion and elimination, as well as your personality, like your likes and dislikes and your quirks, it governs the seasons as well outside our door. Bottom line, there is an elemental reason why naturally you are how you are maybe that's competitive or loyal or creative. Apart from your experiences, there is a scientific explanation for why you are the way you are and have your needs and your desires. So in case you grew up hearing, why can't you be more like this or less like that? Or my favorite? Why can't you be more like so and so and insert the name of the family member, while friend, the reason you are not some other way or like so even if it's a blood family member, is because you were not made to be that way that even if you have the same blood, same, same parents, same ancestry. You were made differently. You weren't made to be like that person. And comparison is a terrible game. It's no contest every time because you can not be like anyone else you can only be like you on your journey with your identities and your experiences. And yes, sometimes your your saliency of your characteristics may be a bit extra or sometimes completely out of freakin balance that happens to all of us. Especially when we're bypassing our needs not living in tune with our nature and or tending to our internal harmony with align to self care practices. I know I gotta tell you I've been labeled overly sensitive, dramatic, unrealistic, negative, pessimistic, high strung, impatient to detail oriented, too structured, clingy, or reckless and so many other things. I tried so hard over the last over the over the years to be less of these things, thinking I could discipline and willpower myself into being a better way. I hid the things I couldn't change. No matter what I tried, it didn't work. And it certainly isn't because I didn't work hard enough is because those ways weren't me and I was trying to punish myself into it. I avetta provided me with an understanding that the way I am was not an accident. It was not by chance. And these characteristics that often I was criticized for are my gifts. I'm a Pisces, and therefore a dreamer and sometimes dramatic my natural energy dominance is mobile and changing followed closely by fire which explains a lot of the characteristics I've been criticized for. I needed I'm realizing to honor these parts of me in order to feel full I'm alive and aligned, I needed to feed these parts of me. But also bring in some other elements of balance. So the pendulum didn't swing too far out of whack. And it's important for me to note that it's not to say you can't shift and grow, if that's what you want to do. If you're realizing, well, this is a little too saturated, I need a little bit more of this to create some balance. My friend, you'll be miserable otherwise, right? If you decide to keep on trying to punish yourself into being something different, and you'll most likely end up feeling pretty empty and unfulfilled, even if you do reach that status. Right where you feel like this is more right and less wrong. So I am encouraging you know, yourself, learn what energies are dominant within you naturally. That's the work I do with people in a personalized self care plan, we start to uncover that because any imbalance you're feeling whether it's health related or something else, it can be tied back to an imbalance of that, obviously, also our experiences play in of course. But getting clear knowing and understanding yourself and not comparing, oh, my friends, is so important. Which brings me to my third one, your past experiences and how you're experiencing life matters. For my entire adult life, I've always been hyper focused on my own well being status, always checking in with myself, was I all right, no, why not? What was going on? What did I need, and it was to the point where I had to be okay, in order to support myself like I could not bypass myself. And as I reflect back, I realize it's because of two main factors. The first is that my dominant energy is Bata, right, which I've said before, is mobile, very changeable, and will leave me feeling unsettled if I'm not actively tending to myself. Growing up, I had some minor health issues that I now know are related to the imbalance of that energy, frequent stomach aches, joint pain. And the fact that three meals a day with a huge gap in between doesn't work for me. I've labeled these as minor health issues, because obviously, they're not hugely life altering, or not life threatening by any means. But for me, they were significant at the time, and really have shaped the way I move throughout the world. As you know, and you wouldn't be in the space with me, if you weren't aware that capitalism and white supremacy, the patriarchy all the isms show up and everything. And I sometimes wonder if there's anything that's untouched by these systems. Growing up, I was fortunate to have a loving and stable home life and from from as long as I can remember, from at least the preschool age, because that's kind of the earliest memory I have. I wanted to stay close with my parents, like I didn't want to ever physically leave them. And it's as if I knew from that age that the world wasn't a safe place for me, especially where I grew up. My town was predominantly white. And when I say predominantly, I mean, I grew up with like, less than 20 families of color in our small town, until high school when another town merged with ours, and up to the number a little bit. And even as I got older, when being with my parents wasn't cool, and I like well, you know, was yearning for freedom, I still remember being nervous to go to school, and our schools were very safe, we in terms of violence, like we didn't have any, I just felt unsettled. Being one of the very few people of color, and, you know, I was other at all the time and microaggressions were prevalent every day, I, at that time, didn't have an understanding of what it was. And I also didn't have an language to describe what I was experiencing. And so I think I just kind of internalized it all. And it manifested itself in the tendency, my energy has stomach aches, and all these other things. I can't know for sure, but I'm feeling like that had to be the case and like, from a professional perspective, as somebody who you know, studies I or avetta, and uses the wisdom, for wellbeing and even healing.
I can't shy away from this fact. Right that like, from these experiences, coupled with my natural energy and you know, not understanding how to tend to, to what I need it, then you know, kind of coming into an imbalance, right of like the balance of being a person who needed comfort and proximity to those I felt safest with But couldn't write because we go to school from such a young age for such so many hours. And in a town that deeply below the surface didn't feel safe to me as a person with brown skin. My experiences mattered. And they kind of grew into issues that. You know, you might say to yourself, Okay, well, here's how, you know, this is what's presenting itself. And so this is how we might deal with it. And so I knew like, I had to eat more snacks, and I couldn't, you know, go into, you know, having just three meals a day to kind of settle my stomach with but Was that enough? Maybe I needed more support, because anxiety manifests itself into stomach aches for me all the time. I also want to name friends that I walked through the world with my medium brown skin, that my experience of a person of color is very different from those with darker skin tones and black folks. colorism is real. So this is something I'm still exploring, you know? And I want to offer that to you like, is there something that's been going on for you that you haven't been able to find the root cause of? Is it time to maybe consider how you've been trying to downplay or ignore certain experiences and their effects on you? Is there something you need to own or give away power to so that you can be more at ease? I don't know only you can answer that question. And it's important to consider because my fourth, aha, and lesson is gaslighting and spiritual bypassing yourself is not okay. It's a shame how we have to gaslight or bypass ourselves to cope. And we learn this as I did from a very young age, whether it's because of home life or external surroundings. But my friends, this shits got to stop, because especially if this has happened to you, it comes with us into adulthood. And I'll give you an example of self gaslighting. How often do you ask yourself when something challenging something bad, something hard happens? Am I overreacting? Is there something I should have done differently? Maybe if I would have done or not done this, then x thing wouldn't have happened? Am I imagining things? Did this really happen? The way I remember it. Reflecting on experiences to see if you gently genuinely could have done something different. So that you can create change for the future is awesome and necessary. But it's quite possible that we can agree that many of the times we're asking ourselves these questions is because we're questioning ourselves based on internalized doubt and self judgment. And when it comes to spiritually bypassing yourself, you might say something along the lines of it's not so bad, other people have it worse. I should be thankful for what I have. I'm just being silly, emotional, dramatic, extra. I know this shouldn't bother me, or I shouldn't be feeling this way. Maybe you apologize. And you say I'm sorry, I'm feeling big emotions. Let me get myself together. Do any of these things ever happened to you in terms of gaslighting or bypassing yourself because I know for me, who, when I learned what these things were, I was like, holy moly, this is how I spend my entire day. And I have to say friends a big part of the problem. In gas, the perpetuating this gaslighting bypassing thing is that the meaning of mindfulness is getting misconstrued in mainstream media and even in the wellness industry, into controlling your feelings so that you don't feel sadness, anger or anxiousness. But it's not about not feeling these things. It's not about being happy all the time, or the absence of hard or deep feelings. It's about your reaction to them and how these feelings affect your life and the way you interact with people. If you're feeling big feelings and then treating people like shit because of it, that's not okay. But the better quote unquote place to be is not in the absence of having feelings is in having the feelings and having the awareness, tools and support in place to meet yourself there so that you don't do shitty things to yourself or to others, that you don't go from a place of constantly reacting rather than a place of resourced action. Calculated not in like a mean way but like you thought about this and now you're moving forward. Because friends, emotions are meant to be felt they are meant to be expressed including anger. Right. So feel your feelings when you can write because I know we're not always feeling safe to do it. But feel them as deeply as you can, if you can bring them into your professional setting because we are fucking human, if you feel safe to bring them, be human, share them in any area of your life with the people who will hold them for you, without throwing them back in your face without using them against you or judging you for them. And find yourself a good therapist to see on a regular basis, please. A piece or an offshoot of gaslighting and bypassing is my fifth lesson. Toxic positivity and silver lining are practices of bypassing yourself. And they're really harmful. I feel like the prevalence of good vibes only and remain high vibe look on the bright side or it'll all work out. And freaking love and lighting ourselves on fucking fire has got us completely fucked. Please just stop. I have so much more to say on this. And also nothing else to say about it. So I'm gonna move on to the next item because I really could be here forever. And this is going to come up in future episodes I promise. My friends. I'm sure you know this. I'm reiterating for you, community, and personal sharing are everything. We've been taught to keep things private, our beliefs, our feelings, our grades, pay rate, political standing faith, relationships, health issues, possessions, everything. The only way in terms of society's belief to get to the top is in a forward and straight line and alone, we must keep professional and personal separate, have separate work friends, versus personal friends. We never mix business with business with pleasure. And certainly, for the love of all that is good in the world. Don't ask your friends to support your business or be involved in it. And that's bullshit. And this is something I'm really coming to terms with now. My friends. Despite what American culture especially says humans are meant to be in community with others, we need each other to survive, we need each other to live. We need community in our personal lives, people we can truly be authentic with in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, to share resources with advice and space. People who see us and value us and it is our prerogative by the way to create boundaries with people and also change the status of relationships that aren't serving us. You are a fucking grown ass adult. Yes, you can, including with friends you've had for a long time, or family members, you can decide that. We also need community in our professional lives, people we can be our true selves with and transparent with and not worry about information being used against us in the business setting. Now I know that that is not always accessible. And you do need to be careful of course, but I'm I'm hopeful for a future where we don't always have to be this way. And business owners need to have community support by other business owners as well as colleagues. Despite what capitalism says we do not have to be in competition with each other, we can support and help each other up and to the top or wherever you want to go.
And we need to be human at work and in our work. To be able to voice when we're struggling, hurting are unwell and trust that will be met with compassion and a helping hand. I have been my friends oh my gosh, so fortunate in the last year and a half, to create a community to be welcomed into other communities of people that I can rely on personally and professionally. who encouraged me to show up fully messily and joyfully without judgment and with all the freakin amp up energy, and this has changed the status of some of my other relationships. I'll be really real with you, both in family and friends as well as other business peeps, as well as my own work like my relationship with my work because now that I have this understanding, and these true deep, authentic and transparent relationships, I am unwilling to settle for anything less. It is hard and scary for sure, but it's worth it and for me, I can never go back. So my question is what do you need from your community? And if you realize that you are not getting it from your current community My friends, I am encouraging you to believe that you can create the community you want, it is out there waiting for you. You just have to open yourself to it. And if there are ways that you're hiding that you are keeping things private, because you don't want to be judged that you're worried, find the people that you don't have to worry about that with, begin to tell current people in your lives what you need and see who may be open to it. Maybe they're coming from a place in the same way of feeling that needs to be private feeling that they need to be closed off feeling they need to be a certain way. And maybe you all find your way together.
All right, friends, we're almost there. Two more. One of my biggest lessons in 2022 Was that white space, not isn't like white people space. Let me be clear, I'll explain more whitespace rest and joy practices are necessities are non negotiables. And must, must be centered. I began exploring the concept of white space in the probably summertime of last year. And this is the process of having unscheduled free space in your calendar. So if you have like a Google Calendar or something, they're those big gaping white blank spaces that you keep clear, or that you do something that brings you joy. Because I don't know about you. But any poll in my schedule, I'm often doing something else, especially like working from home. It's cooking, cleaning, it's doing something it's getting ahead on another project, right? capitalism would have us believe that unused time is wasted. And indication that we're not going to reach reach success quickly. But you know what that is? It's bullshit. The practice of creating white space, I realize is the antithesis to hustle culture. And starting this practice, was one of the most difficult things I've done in a while, it was so hard for me to stop filling my day with tasks to make me feel like I was working hard. But I was committed to it. And eventually, it forced me to get clear on what was worth my time and what wasn't, what was a priority and what wasn't. And I'm gonna be honest with you, I didn't magically create 26 hours in a 24 hour day. But I got clear on what I needed to do and what I didn't. And space was cleared that way. This practice has been significant, having space to intentionally not work to intentionally not clean to intentionally not be actively connected at all the time producing, doing being is essential for me, because my tendency is to work, work work until I hit the wall, I need space to just be or to do something creative or to watch TV for a bit, whatever will ground or soothe me or bring me joy. Because friend, we need more joy. And there's no such thing as too much joy. This practice of creating whitespace has been huge and helping me maintain boundaries with work and create space for more opportunities to come. So I've got to ask you, how can you begin to create some whitespace for yourself? Remember to start small, maybe with five or 10 minutes here or there. If you're like, shit, stop, I don't even have five or 10 minutes, okay, fine. It doesn't have to be a huge quantity of time to be significant, one minute, or one song that you blast and sing at the tops of your lungs or dance to That's enough, that's a great place to start. This is a big piece of the work I do with people. In a personalized self care plan. It's often not about just getting the self care practice, right, quote, unquote, it is more about space, creating space for you to be in life, be in the practice to think of the practice to simply just consider what it is you want to do and how you want to feel. And so my friends, I invite you anytime you're ready, working on a personalized self care plan and getting clear on your energy dominance naturally, where the imbalances are right now. How to create space for yourself where you can create space for the aligned practices that are totally and completely curated specifically for you. And your needs and your desires or friends. It's where it's at. It's where it's at. Now, when it comes to rest, I've spent a lot of time in December and the first few weeks of January talking about this. So I'm going to keep this part really short. You can always go back to other episodes I'm sure I'm going to keep talking about it because rest is where it's at for the entire year. And while rest has four letters in the word it is not a quote unquote four letter word if you know what I mean, right even though it is demonized by society, and it's so much more complex and rich than sleep. We're talking about restorative practice releasing tension read Generation, rehydration practices beyond just drinking water. Think of the opposite of depleting you what fills you what nourishes you, these are necessary, you know, gogogo isn't working, and you have to center these practices in order to remain resourced for all of your disrupting. So if your relationship with rest is Rocky, based on society, cultural norms or past not so great experiences, consider a synonym for rest that feels better for you. And also consider different types of rest. A teaching I've come across recently and been sharing is seven types of rest. That's physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, and spiritual. What are some practices for each category that come to mind for you? Spend time considering this. And I'd like to also connect this conversation back to an offering from last week's episode, where I offered you Mia birdsongs juicy January practice and ask yourself what makes me juicy because today is February 1, or whenever you're listening to this. And so juicy January is now over, but I don't want it to be over. I want you to keep this with you. What makes you juicy? Choosing practices that are deep pleasurable, nourishing, supportive, sustaining fluid, continuing with me a birdsongs words may be expansive or grounding, rehydrating, then releasing tension relaxing, rejuvenating restful, what practices will keep you juicy. As you move into February. What are these rest practices that tend to all your senses and all your ways of being? What are they? How can you begin to implement them into your life. Finally, my friends, this is the last one. And if you're still here, or if you've come back to this, thank you. I need to encourage you to put your shit down from time to time. We are carrying around a lot of mental and emotional shit. Some that we chose to pick up and some that was given to us. But we are not obligated to carry it around all the time stuffed into a very heavy imaginary backpack. So I have to tell you, it's okay to put your stuff down from time to time to take a pause from carrying it around and to decide what you want to or need to pick back up and what you want to leave behind. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed as I was messaging to friends, separately separate conversations that I reached out and said to each person, can I just put some stuff down with you for a little while, I don't need advice. Because both of these people are amazing. And one of the ways that they act on love is to fix and help and serve. I just needed to share these things that I was thinking and feelings that I was having and put them down somewhere where I knew that they would be held. And it also said to them if you don't have the capacity, I understand. Thankfully, they had the space to hold my stuff. And I was able to lighten my load and it was such a relief. So I have to ask you what would happen if you put some of your baggage down for a bit. If you said things out loud to someone, if you connected to your breath and exhale the energy weighing you down. If you imagined releasing the intrusive thoughts back to the universe for to hold for a bit. Could you imagine how you might feel and how you'd approach life after that experience. My friend, the community circle I offer monthly is a space for you to put things down without explanation. And it's a place for you to lighten your load without having to ask for space. In this space, we get to pause get quiet and turn inward with curiosity, create mind space, connect to our collective breath, meditate and amplify our self care, self care. And the question Is there anything you'd like to put down and leave here before you head back out into the world is an actual invitation I offer at the end of each session and the space is there to hold it for you. So my friend, please join me next Friday, February 10 at 12:30pm Eastern 9:30am Pacific sliding scale pricing begins at $5 and there is always a free option. So no one will be turned away for lack of funds. You can head to www dot Steff gallante.com/community-circle to learn more and register and I've included the link in the show notes as well. I'd love it if you would invite your friends to come along as well. Oh, I'd be so happy to connect with you in this space on your journey to I don't give a fuck dumb and above all, welcome to the start of your journey to that place. My wish for you today, throughout my entire birth birthday month, Black History Month and beyond is to know yourself. Be yourself. Own it, do what ever it takes to support you in upholding it and be on fucking apologetic about it.
Until next time, my friend. Please be kind and gentle yourself to yourself just as you would to those who are most precious to you. Whether that's a human, animal, baby or a plant, take good care and stay connected. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the support I provide in this episode, so feel free to reach out and share if there's something else you'd like me to cover in an upcoming episode. Reach out and share that as well. I am so immensely grateful for you. You my friend are a badass and you are enough. Be well
