My Aspergers Diagnosis Journey Part 3 Seeking Aspergers Diagnosis | ow

6:09AM Aug 26, 2021

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Okay, so welcome to part three of my diagnosis journey. I have decided, within my own self that I'm sure that I'm on the spectrum, right, I found my tribe, I found my people. It's very, very clear to me. And the question now is, how do I go about getting an official diagnosis so that other people can be as sure as I am. So I did took the first step, which you do in Australia, which I went to my local doctor, and my GP referred me to a psychologist, I actually got a really good recommendation from someone have a an Asperger expert who's had a lot of experience diagnosing, especially adults. So I gave her a call. And their response was, I'm sorry, I'm busy, I've got too many clients, you're gonna have to see someone else. And she referred me on to a friend, another colleague, and I wrote, I wasn't really happy with that. So I wrote back and said, Look, I'm not, I'm not your typical SB, which is funny in hindsight, because we probably all say that, but I said, I'm not your typical aspie I really need a highly intuitive Asperger's expert. I mean, I don't have a lot of the really typical Asperger's stuff, like I don't like I have no anxiety issues, for example, which is something that's quite common. So anyway, eventually, she made a time to see me. And within about the first 30 seconds of meeting each other, she had already handed me something to fidget with. And I sat down, and within the first minute or so it was she basically said, it's really, really clear that you're on the spectrum, there's, there's almost no doubt in my mind. And I was not happy with that at all. It was about as off putting as going to the Asperger's Victoria support group meeting, and telling everyone that I diagnosed myself yesterday on the internet, and not having them flinch. And having that be all that I needed to to get this diagnosis. So I didn't want to shortcut here, I wanted to come here to do a really thorough examination and figure out once and for all, if I'm on the spectrum, and basically I needed someone to tell me I wasn't crazy. Anyway, so I eventually calmed down. And we spoke more and more. And although I had spent 30 years not knowing that I was on the spectrum, the more we talked, and the more I said, Oh, yes, that's me, Oh, yes, I do that too. I do this thing. And she is explaining how it all sort of fit together. It turns out, it actually was really obvious if you knew what you were looking for. So anyway, I was feeling a little bit better about that. And by the time we got to the end of the session, we started talking about next steps. And clearly meaning meeting a psychologist for one session was not enough to get an official diagnosis. And I actually felt really, really good about that. I did not want to any any kind of shortcut here. So I was able to get a preliminary diagnosis, which basically says, Look, I know, we haven't really done this very thoroughly yet. But I think if we did do the process, this would be the result. And we talked about what would need to happen to keep going down that path. And it would take a lot more, a lot more time. And it would be 1000s and 1000s of dollars. And I was actually advised against it, for the main reason that it wouldn't really be of any benefit to me. Because it's not like I can get funding because I'm outside of school and things like that. So I remember leaving her office. And the last thing she said to me was, if you ever get in trouble with the law, let me know. And I'll see if I can see what I can do in terms of you know, fixing any misunderstanding. And I remember that that really hit me. And I started to understand the gravity of the situation. Because I i've been pretty lucky in the past that I haven't had any major misunderstandings. But I can really see how a tiny little thing could get you in serious trouble with the law and it's really just a misunderstanding. And it needs someone who knows about autism or Asperger's to say just calm down, take a step back. Don't make this assumption. He was probably doing this for this reason. It's actually very logical, it makes perfect sense. It's just not what you were going to do. So that's a bit of a side story, I guess. But that really hit me at the time. The the gravity of what diagnosis could mean.

So anyway, now what I've seen a psychologist, I've confirmed I'm not crazy. What next. And this is the part that I've actually been really hesitant to share publicly. Because I'm not really sure how it's going to be received, how it's going to be received by people. And even just thinking about now I can feel that sort of anxiety, sort of building up in my chest and things like that. Because this diagnosis thing, it's such a big thing. For me personally, it was it was a life changing, revelate regulatory kind of moment. And it's such a core part of my identity now, that I that I have built over the last couple of years, especially. I mean, for the last after, you know, three years after that, meeting that psychologist, I have met hundreds of people on the spectrum, I had started this blog, I've gone around as a professional speaker, teaching people about autism, what it's like to live as a person on the spectrum, how to leverage the strengths of autism, all of these kinds of things. It's, it's not just a diagnosis, it's really who I am. And what I really love about sharing my story like that, is the feedback that I get from you guys. When I make a video and I get people saying, yes, you understand me, I understand you. Finally I found someone who gets me. And that's the experience that I had at that very first support group meeting of Finally, meeting someone who gets where I'm coming from, when I thought I was the only one on the planet, it turns out, I'm not the only one on the planet. So despite all that, there's still something that I'm scared to say, for this stupid, this stupid, irrational fear that I will be rejected by the community that I love so much. And it's so irrational, because the reality of the situation is I've never seen anything other than the utmost acceptance from the autism community. But I guess, from in the rest of my life, I worry about Pete when people challenge me, and they, and I can't prove to them that I'm not crazy. So anyway, so I'm clearly stalling. So the I guess the very small thing that I was hesitant to say, is that I did not go through with that official diagnosis process, which means I don't have an official diagnosis, I went to see a psychologist, I confirm that I wasn't crazy, I got a preliminary diagnosis. But I did not continue to get that official piece of paper to validate my existence. And that is actually a really hard concept to think about the possibility that in some parts of the world, fortunately, I've never experienced this with any with any other autistic people. But the idea that in some parts of the world, I need a stranger, to write me a certificate to sort of rubber stamp my existence as a person. That that's really hard. I'm actually really glad that the term Asperger's is not an official diagnosis anymore in the DSM five, because that kind of means that we can use that term as a way of referring to ourselves and as an identity, quite separate from any kind of technical medical definition. And I think that's really important, because the label, as I was saying, before, was a really empowering label to say, yes, this is who I am, yes, this helps me understand myself. This is a way that I can connect to others and show people that I'm not crazy. And probably the most important part of the label is that it allows me what it helps me to find other people who understand me, right? It helps me to find my tribe, my people who also identify with all of these things, and we just understand each other in a way that others just don't, I guess. So. Anyway, that's been my diagnosis story. Hopefully that was interesting to you and answered some of the questions that you had at the very start.

I've realized recently that I'm actually really terrible at saying goodbye. I just never really know what exactly to say. But I think what I want to say is a massive thank you, to you for all of your support. And for everyone who comments on my videos and says, I can relate like it really helps me to know that I'm not crazy when other people can relate. relate to my experiences. And I know that I'm not the only one who goes through this kind of thing. So yeah, massive thank you to you for that. And yeah, it's it's really amazing to be part of this little autism community. And there's a huge potential for us to show the world what it can be like to be so radically accepting of each other. not let that term define us. But we can show the world what it means to be autistic, and show the world the capability of what people on the spectrum can do. So yeah, that's really exciting. Anyway, I'm rambling again. So thanks for watching. I hope you've enjoyed this video. Stay tuned for more stuff. And yeah, I'll see you another time. Okay, bye. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up and hit subscribe for weekly content just like this one. If you'd like to get even more involved, you can join the discussion on social media or support me by becoming a patron. Finally, I value your time and you'll notice all my videos are ad free. So please help me to cover what you want to hear by leaving me a comment and telling me what you think. So thanks for watching, and I'll see you another time.