Care of Magical Shippers Podcast Episode 34 - Versy Weasley gets some Wood 👓🪵 w/ Geoff (Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood)
2:31AM Aug 8, 2022
Hey there listener Fancy seeing you here. Look, sometimes due to the things we discuss on the pod, it might contain potentially triggering content. But the good news is you can always review the episode description for a full list of the warnings applicable to this episode. Oh, and just so you know, this episode is rated are really filthy. It includes adult themes and explicit content. So if you're an adult, buckle up, Gird your loins and prepare to flood the basement because we are going down with these chips
ship space, let's go to ship big. Don't care if I get my bearings. Well, then you can get the bricks. This is my own TeeSpy
Welcome back to Care of Magical shippers podcast it is if I remember correctly. Ship culture podcast. I am Nathan.
And I am mags and we are so glad that we are back together. Obviously it was awesome to just be with Danny. But I'm happy to have you back Nathan. No one's ever going to replace.
No, you said that. No. I mean, I'm sure like Danny is a genius. I just I'm so thrilled people have been willing to like, step in and fill in while we're having live stuff going on was really lovely of people. I'm so thrilled to be back. And do you want to mention the fact that it's not just us this week?
It's it because Funny enough, we didn't think you were gonna be here. So here we are. We actually have Jeff back with us, which is super exciting. So if you loved the Wolfstar bucks episode, awesome. We're continuing with the crazy if you didn't, then who cares? We don't care if you didn't like it. Yeah,
if you didn't like it, then who cares? Because I'm here anyway.
That not liking it isn't an option you can you can like what we did or you couldn't love it. And and I appreciate in between. But I don't think you'd be listening to any of our episodes. If you didn't like what we did. That would be weird.
Here to make more of that stuff that you either like or that you don't, but you're listening to us anyway. So who are we to complain? This time round, I would say this week. And then I realized that, you know,
people so weak, it's just, I mean, yeah, at
any point in time in the future, you could be listening, and at that time, it will sit within a week. So it will be correct, technically, but it still feels dirty to me. So this one
that feels dirty to you. I would imagine after doing a number of these episodes that probably anything could feel dirty to you. And not least I just listened to the show. This is only my second appearance and my first time as an appearance as an afterthought because I was supposed to be a substitute. But I need I like to think that the world around me has seemed much more perverse after listening to
you all never enough to thought Jeff, you are you could never be an afterthought in this podcast, you elevate it is what you do. And I don't know if I should be spoiling this for later on. But you do. You did bring more magical things for us to treat us with. And I am very, very excited about that. But before we talk about that we should probably like introduce. We're doing what we're going to be doing something that I can also do today we're having a Percy Weasley. No, wait a minute possible break here. Today we are either having a Percy Weasley centric episode. Oh, we're doing perceiver day as appropriate during one of those things, and either one of those things is really cool to me. I will now hand over to someone more competent.
So of course I look back I'm like okay, we did well, Starbucks, you know, three guys and then Danny and I just did Charlie and Draco which was so much fun. And now we're going to persevere. So Percy and Oliver wood and I'm like, Oh, we're just we're just keeping up this slash train and I'm not mad about it.
I'm just going to sit here and pretend I still understand all the correct terms and agree with you. I'm nodding my head right now for the benefit of people who are only listening and not viewing this video on Patreon.
Jeff I I've been doing this podcast for over a year now and even I don't know well the correct terms. If if you heard our anniversary episode where we had to do the sort of the, the tropes, yeah, the tropes and I had to guess what they were, I mean, I'm sure you edited that down ferociously. But there were moments where I was guessing for a long time like a long time and your face was just like your face was just like nope, kind of like it's like that but you're not using the actual contract words which is kind of the point so if that will make you feel any more comfortable just know that I am supposed to know what's going on still don't know and regularly trip myself up so I think you're good so
that does something about that made me feel comfortable I'm not sure which bit it was but I am more comfortable than I was when it started so yes. Right.
So this will be fun because I my main Oliver pairing, obviously is Flintwood We did two episodes on Flintwood And that's like classic like rivals to lovers enemies, two lovers sort of thing. And so now with all Percy that's like the only like what people know as like the only two guys in the same year in Griffin door at Hogwarts. Like when Percy and Oliver were at school they were in the same year so like obviously they were dorm mates and stuff like that. So they probably were friends. So this couple is more about the like nerd and the jock, you know sort of trope which is completely different and also a lot of fun so I can see why I think
of it like The Odd Couple. I think that definitely you mean the nerd and The Jock just in every way almost complete opposites because you don't you don't see much of Oliver wood apart from when he's obsessing over Quidditch but you see a lot of Percy he's perceived the prefect he's perceived ahead boy he's perceived the new government employee he's perceived the prude he's perceived the Pratt I'm making these up but I love them all. It's just it's amazing how much Percy is other P words
perceive a party pooper.
exactly see the pretentious cautious
God now we're gonna get Nathan words. Percy the pontificate horror. Ah, first three or more syllables are necessary for
not necessary that just
proceed the pitiful apologist. And now I mean just, there's so much more speculation you have to do with all of our wood than you do with Percy. But in a when you put them side by side, I think it's pretty easy to imagine that in a lot of ways they would be opposites. And like we've seen so many times before with other pairings. When you have two people who are such polar opposites, that's usually the thing that brings them together because especially I would think for Percy Oliver represents all of the things that he might be intrigued by because they never applied to him. He was never popular. He was never that athletic. Yeah, he probably I mean, just in terms of overall hygiene. I don't think Oliver wood is gross. But you know, Percy is the kind of person he cleans himself up in the morning and then he has to stay clean all day, or he'll probably panic whereas Oliver wood is the kind of person who has a shower after a rough game of Quidditch. And then yeah, he feels
good. Yes, and that's good. Yeah, Percy has to have some sort of he's definitely a very like, things have to be in place control you no control every little thing and yeah, for Yep, definitely.
We may have talked about this in the Flintwood. No, we won't have talked about this in the Flintwood because it rolls per se so what am I saying? I see Percy as potentially being neurodivergent and having a you know, big building somewhere on the autism spectrum, where everything in his environment is really controlled really rigorously. What's the word? It's, well, not formulaic necessarily, but it fits into a category and he's comfortable with that. And so if something can sort of come out from left field and knock him off center a little bit it's gonna be Oliver who isn't that Do you know? Right? And I just because I always sort of thought of Percy as the the kind of guy that would iron his underwear, you know, it's that level of meticulous attention to detail. And, and Oliver is, is he's meticulous about Quidditch, but he's a bit more rough and ready just a bit more, you know, things tend to happen. And he goes with the flow. And I like the idea of the two of those forces sort of coming together and how that works out. So that's, that's fun to me.
Because even if you compartmentalize the way Percy certainly seems to with a lot of areas of his life, you can still see somebody and think, Oh, they're quite fetching, aren't they? It might not be high on your list of priorities, because people like that can have all different types of sexual and gender identities. But for someone like Percy, he obviously, he prioritizes his career and practical things above making time for romance. And I think that that was part of why the relationship with Penny made sense, but ultimately failed. Because when they were students together, they had a shared ambition. Let's focus on our studies, let's focus on work. And when we have an itch to scratch, we go scratch it, and then move on with it. And then they graduate and they both think, Okay, I'm going this way, you're going that way. And now that we're not students, we're, you know, going professionally in different directions. So, I mean, the fact that I would keep in my mind, I don't think it's that a lot of people, when you look at ships, like persevere, you think, Okay, well, you're shipping two male characters together, that means they're gay, but that doesn't necessarily have to be the case, right? Because as I just said, there's lots of different gender and sexual identities. My reading of Percy would be that he would be the kind of person who would be a late bloomer in terms of his desire to experiment with his sexuality or anything else about himself because he kept those things compartmentalized when he was younger, so that he could focus on building up what he thought was important, but now he's out in the real world.
I feel rad right now. I just feel very seen
today for the first time ever, we have the character on the podcast Percy,
I really hope that I'm not kind of least partly and it's continuing.
Well, it's kind of like we talked about that about Hermione and other podcast episodes about how same thing like she focused so heavily on studies and things like that, that it like everything else just didn't really, like set in until someone you know, say like, you know, fourth year Victor crumby. Like, hey, go to the dance with me. It was like, oh, yeah, boys. Oh, yeah, like, sort of thing. And her and Rod never figured anything out until way later because obviously it was not a priority. So yeah, but yeah,
it's funny how priority stuck in the brain like that, I think as well because all of these characters are growing up at that time, and they're all under an enormous amount of stress, there's a war going on, you know, you're not necessarily going to have all your ducks in a row. You know, so it makes sense that some of these characters are late bloomers as well because you know, we've talked before about the war and the trauma that happens as a result of that and then people dealing with it later. But I also think you know, these characters have to have the space and time to grow into themselves as people and that so naturally as a result of that then it makes more sense to grow towards each other and you know, discovered that it I have
a really like silly like probably short thick prompt idea. So part of the reason why Percy obviously doesn't really focus on like either dating or other things other than prefect duties and school and stuff like that because he feels like he has to be you know, the perfect son since obviously the twins are going off and doing crazy things and he can see that it drives his mother crazy so of course he's like well, I'll be the son the only son you need mom I'll be the only one you need there you know for it, but he like keeps an eye on them. And then it's like a stressor for him of constantly keeping tabs on Fred and George and then finally when he and Oliver get together like Oliver's like it's fine like I you know, I'm to hang out with them to like I can keep an eye on them. You don't have to do this all on your own and I just thought that was you know, kind of funny like hey, like yeah, they're or are helping him understand them a bit better to like so that he's not super stressed out about, you know, his brother and his brothers and what they're getting up to and stuff like that. So I like so having someone else's, like a mediator between the two extremes is, you know, really nice because obviously they spend a lot of time with Oliver too, and, you know, practices and stuff and had for quite a few years. So yeah,
I like that. That's sweet. I don't want to take away from what you've just said, but I have something stuck in my brain that I have to get out so that I can move on with life. You keep saying Flintwood. And I need to also put this out there as a potential prompt for someone who would like to write it. So you know the band Fleetwood Mac, yes, yeah. So what I need someone to do I, the last time we were together, we talked about a poly ship. I'd like somebody to write a poly ship where you take Flintwood And you introduce them to Ernie McMillan and make Flintwood Mac
Nice. Or Cormac Maclagan. Yeah. And it's like a bunch of Quidditch net.
Yeah. Yeah. Things happening in that broom shed.
No judges. But once when I was I was doing an assignment for a different podcast. And I was looking up I don't even remember how I ended up in this place. But I ended up reading a thick that shaped Cormac Maclagan and Ron Weasley. Yes. And I was like, oh, and then at the end, I was like, Oh, yeah. Oh, oh.
That happens to me a lot on this podcast. There'll be something broached, they'll be like, Well, I've never really thought about it. I'm not sure that I really get it. And then usually Max will write about it. And then I ended up reading it and go, actually, yeah, I'm weirdly turned on by this. And I don't know. I don't know why it works. So just know that it works. Yeah,
sometimes you don't need to know more than that. Sometimes you don't, you don't need to know. Like, if it makes sense, or how you just need to trust how it makes you feel. Yeah. Yeah, it just does it make sense? Does it not make sense? If the answer is yes, no follow up questions. Just go with it.
And I keep thinking about I know that this was a prompt I think in the Flintwood episode that I talked about, about how what was it the idea that them either like the second seventh year that's you know, is kind of been accepted that Marcus comes back for a second year and for him to be able to play on the team he has to get you know help so then all of our tutors him well, it could go the other way. We're all struggling because he's putting all of his effort into Quidditch and wanting to win the cup his final year and his grades are suffering like you're you know, you have to do your notes like you have to do your notes and so then goes to Percy and Percy helps you know, tutor him. together
that's so sweet. I really liked that and now I feel like a dirty smart peddler for what I wrote crazy is it you're the one coming up with something sweet and sentimental that I absolutely would read and I'm the one writing things that are just dirty dirty dirty.
Oh Daddy boy Daddy, Daddy Daddy.
We all have horizons to expand here and we're all doing it beautifully and I applaud that in whatever way whatever shape that comes in. I'm happy about it
and something I need getting we're sticking in the in the dirt right now is I and you know anyone can read and want and like whatever they want obviously but it's very common for perceiver obviously to have like the dominant or the top Oliver to the bottom Percy you know what I mean? Yeah, like Percy to take control I want top Percy there's like no top Percy out there. So if people could write that for me would be amazing because that's what I want in my life and I need more of it. I did start writing some so that's exciting. But you know what? I just realized okay, I don't know when this is going to come out. Let's see in two weeks. What's today Oh, today is our Arthur Molly Right? And then two weeks it'll be oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Okay, this is perfect. This is perfect. And then two weeks we're doing the Charlie Draco. Two weeks after that so we'll be in August will be this episode. And August is the purpose of her prompts fest thing. So there was Oliver wood fest which we did during we did Flintwood Deering so now we have the off to look it up so that I can you know like in a better way promote it but that's going on episode which is so great.
Destiny just get manifested
Yes and I think that's why I thought Percy because that had been like been, you know, posted in discord and stuff like that. So but guess oh my gosh we're like oh to honor Percy we're doing our own Percy stuff okay I gotta find it so if you have stuff to say continue I'm gonna dig through and
I like that two points real quick first of all if you had said that thing about top Percy before this morning I might have made that happen I just feel sorry for you no I'm not sorry because I think this is this is gonna be good fun. Oh for sure it I will admit I'm one of those people taught Percy didn't occur to me. I mean, verse Percy. Oh my god versie Weasley. Yes,
guy. Oh okay
you guys don't know it, but you just witnessed a miracle. Okay, that's that's not the only word pawn that I have for today. There's more coming up the nice but the other thing is, it was so interesting to me the thing that you said about all of her wood getting so caught up in Quidditch that he needs a tutor because that also did not occur to me because I just keep telling myself as I'm thinking, what do I know about Oliver wood? I'm thinking well, he is in a house that is I mean, all the houses get very, very, you know, big on Quidditch, the only one you don't see, really you don't see so much sprout or Flitwick getting super competitive about it, but you definitely see McGonagall and Snape getting competitive about it. So McGonagall obviously cares about the future of her Quidditch team and she put somebody in charge who was very well suited to the job. But McGonagall is also very strict and very interested in the academic achievements of her students. So I always kind of imagined that the only reason she would put somebody in the position of captain for the Quidditch team is if they could also keep their grades up. Like I don't know who but Harry could have taken over as team captain, possibly one of the I mean, Katie Bell, probably could have done it. She probably would have been a good Quidditch captain, but she's in her seventh year. And I mean, she chose Harry because it's better for the narrative of Harry struggles with making his best friends or not. We'll get into that. But I just all of that to say I always kind of assumed that all of her would got to become captain in his fifth year and keep it for three years. Because all the while he was maintaining satisfactory grades, right? Because if he hadn't, she might have taken it from him, right?
Yeah. Oh, he wasn't but she was letting it slide because he was performing well on the Quidditch pitch. And because she had a soft spot for Quidditch and for what as well because they thought he was
doing like enough you know what I mean? Like he was getting A's you know what I mean? Like he was SAP double that and when she probably got through, you know, like, oh W wells, like he got enough to get into things. So maybe it just came down to someone like because what is it? They're, you know, they sit down with their head of house at some point. Yeah. Okay, what are your goals after and of course, Oliver's probably going to be like, I got to do Quidditch. So why does anything else matter? And of course, McGonagall is like, that's awesome. But like, what should we focus on? And then maybe that's something where she's realizing now that his future is looming, that he needs to take things more seriously. And he's, he's obviously went a couple of years of almost like, almost getting the cup, like almost so obviously, his final year is his last chance. So I could see him maintaining up until that point through sixth year being, you know, fine with school and doing well. And then his seventh year being so focused on making sure that they win, he's using all of his time to plan strategies and stuff like that, so that they win over putting, you know, studies up there. Sure, that's where I could see that shift. Like maybe he was good, and then all of a sudden, it just wasn't a priority anymore. So but yeah, and
in that meeting with McGonagall, where he would be having the I mean, he would have been Quidditch Captain before he had that O WL meeting because he's captain in the fifth year, and then he would have had the meeting sometime around the batch against Hufflepuff. Maybe a little bit later on. And then that would be the classic you know, having the heart to heart with the Super jock who wants to be a pro athlete saying what if you get hurt? I know this is the wizarding world where medicine means something different but still, even Ludo bagman says you can't get hit in the head with bludgers your whole life. You got to have something else to do. So that would be that would be like the quintessential you can't just play pro ball. You have to have something else up your sleeve conversation that could Ooh that could be that could be an in for him and Percy is he's upset because he can't think like what else do I like? What else like do I want maybe work at the minute History. All these books aren't helping. He's in the library one day, and then somebody hands him a book and says You might try this and it's like prefects who gained power because Burroughs Yes of course.
Of course, it's all the key words. Yeah. Prefect with protuberant penises I can definitely see, though from all of his point of view, why he would drift away from academic studies for a bit, because I don't know what it was like for you guys going through school at that time. But teachers every year, no matter what year you were in, you would get to the end of the year when exam season was happening. And they would say, these are the most important exams you've ever stopped. Don't pay attention to everything you've ever done before revise for these, or you'll crash and burn. And you need to work hard and that we had that every year. And every year, it just got more and more and more intense to the point where I don't know a single person who was at school doing GCSEs, or a levels or whatever it was, who didn't, at some stage at least experienced some burnout where they were just like, Nope, this is too much pressure. And so from Oliver's point of view, I can absolutely identify with that feeling of sort of hitting your head against a brick wall where you're like, Well, you know, I've done this for x amount of time, and I'm getting very little reward from it, or I'm losing patience with it or whatever. And so for him to be passionate about something else and direct his energies elsewhere. I can see him you know, then doing a deep dive into Quidditch. Then when he you know, has the chance meeting with Percy in the library where you know, going with that story, I could see him wanting to redirect his passions elsewhere as well.
I'd love that for the due to OH MAN Yeah, I I just love the idea that Oliver is the one to teach Percy how to like, you know, like have fun, you know, like to finally loosen up and do something different. I like to picture him actually like taking him on. Like, like, like on a fly like taking him Do you know to fly around the picture around the grounds and it's like that beautiful like a whole new world moment.
But you know what, on a magic carpet because the naughty bit is that Ali beshear sells them the carpet and yeah, there doesn't know they've got it.
Yes. Oh, yes, exactly. Oh, oh, it feels really like guilty about it too. Like,
oh, Percy doesn't and he's able to get round it because he realizes that his father was the one that enchanted The flying car. And he memorizes the enchantment that he used to do it. So one day, he's like checking out a carpet somewhere and decides to use the same enchantment on it to be like to experiment just to see if he can and then because he knows his job, did it and he sort of got away with it. And he's a ministry employee. He's like, Well, it's not like I'm gonna fly this in public.
Sorry, I just like brain blast this entire I mean every episodes like that really? It's like one word it's like word one word happens in my brain explodes so what if it's him trying to impress all of her like knowing it's like, oh, he loves to fly like look at this thing that I did and was able to do and would you like to go flying with me sort of thing and all over just having the time of his life and Percy just like blushing to himself all like proud of himself for you know to do doing this thing to be seen by the jock like the popular, you know, boy like that's another thing too is the opportunity for like that did not like denial of feelings or that or that self, you know, doubt of perceived feeling like why would he see me as any like, just like I'm just like the nerd you know, no one like, you know, like, he's not a likable character. A lot of people don't like Percy because of how rigid he is and how to the rules and he's going to like call you out for different things. And I'm sure that his like probably friend pool is relatively small and I could see him being a loner too, but by choice like, not necessarily that he's like an outcast or whatever, but he's also I have the things that I want to do. And any sort of relationships, including friendships is just a distraction sort of thing, but has always had this crush on Oliver because they've shared a room every single year since they've been there and he can't help but like, you know, once in a while he's gonna see all over with his shirt. Often he's just like, I can't, you know, you know, like,
bollocks. I didn't even think of them sharing a dorm room.
And it could, technically it could literally just be the two of them. Like, as far as we know, they're the only two like boys in that year in Griffith that we had have verified.
There must be other boys, but they're having romantic chemistry. Yeah.
But in fanfic a lot of the time, that's just them, which makes for really easy to like things to happen. Yeah.
Now crossovers between different fandoms are also a huge thing that people do in fanfiction. I know. So what if this? What if the two of them are on an awkward first date at a market and at for sale in this market happens to be the carpet from Aladdin. And if there's one thing that carpet knows how to do, it's get people to get can tell. Okay, there's obvious romantic chemistry between these two dopes, so I'm going to take them on an inexplicable flight around the entire world in the span of a three minute month. Yeah, I gotta push these two together, because clearly it works.
Also, the carpet from Aladdin is the cutest character in the entire
oh my gosh,
yeah, it's a flying carpet. It doesn't talk and yet somehow it is a more satisfactory person than most of the people,
the expressions and how you're able to read that always amazes me when like, especially for I mean, I'm a huge animation nerd, like I wanted to get into animation, same school, but of course everything transition to more 3d digital and numbers and sliders and versus actual drawing, which then deterred me from actually, you know, going into it. But I still, especially with older 2d animations, like I'm like, it amazes me what can be done with various things like how things move, and the fact you can read a carpets emotions is absolutely insane. And it's amazing. It's amazing.
It really is. Now I have to I feel like somebody should me you mentioned that a lot of you know, Percy date feels like people don't like him, or I've heard a lot of Puracy bashing on other podcasts. I, I don't like what he did. Okay. I don't like everything that he did. I don't like the fight between him and his parents. I don't like the things he said when he was hurt. But at the same time, a friend of mine made a very good point on an episode of promptly Potter that came out not that long ago that we don't see things directly from his perspective that entire time, right? People have a tendency to get defensive when they feel like everybody's judging their choices. Yeah, then they start lashing out. And that's what Percy does. He takes reassurance in the fact that he's smarter than everybody, because that's been the only thing that makes him special. A lot of times, yeah. And but as far as the policy that we see before that, and the policy that we see once he and his family have made up the person who is very, very dedicated to his studies, he gets excellent grades, he's very disciplined. He is very concerned with being proper and being polite and making a good impression. A number of times, my wife and I have agreed that we would be so proud and so grateful. If we had a child who was like that, yeah, we would have no qualms about that at all. And his parents are obviously very, very proud of him. They have a terrible fight. But up to that point, his parents are really in his corner. And that's something that I always thought was incredibly sweet.
It is it is I do just want to like I've been thinking about this while you were talking. And I want to provide a little bit of counterpoint to that as well. Because I'm thinking of the moment where Percy writes to run. And I think he's he's at the Ministry at the time he's covering for I think he's covering for crouch who's disappeared. And he writes to Ron to say, you know, you should distance yourself from this potter guy because he's dangerous. And you know, nobody
we're in Yeah. And
you know, he's going down a dark path, and you need to be mindful of your own future. I don't think I've disliked personally more than I disliked him in that moment. Because in that moment, what you're getting is I, you know, I grant you that mostly you don't see things from Percy's perspective. But when you read a letter that is specifically the distillation of their perspective, in that moment, you know, I get that we can have bad days and you know, perspective is always in flux. And so judging somebody by a single moment isn't a great thing to do, either. But just from that perspective at that moment, I think that You know, judgments like that don't endear him to people, because they seem very morally rigid and inflexible and myopic, and singular. And you know, a little bit sort of that, you know, there's no wiggle room that there's no room for understanding or empathy. And I think, you know, the, the sympathetic part of me wants to go, it's because Percy's worldview is very, you know, he has a clear idea of what success is at that point. And he aspires to be greater in a certain way. But he can't understand other people's perspectives, because in his mind, there is only one way to do good and be good. But that's why I think getting together with someone like Oliver would be great for him, because it's literally forcing himself out of that very singular, very stilted kind of worldview, that then and can endear him back to people. But I think, you know, whenever you're only dealing with that very one dimensional very priggish side to someone, it can be hard to look for the humanity and in people in moments like that. I think it's agreed. It's tough when people have spiky, you know,
yeah, it is in that moment that you describe we Percy where he writes that letter to Ron, I can't defend that moment. That was a really, really terrible choice, and he was dead wrong for it. And that was that was the worst that was that was worst Puracy. By far, I did read an interesting fan theory once that this is when Percy is really adopting the hive mentality or the herd mentality, if you prefer with the ministry, and he is really letting them just work their influence on him because he thinks my family disapproves of me, the ministry is the ones at that point, he's incredibly vulnerable. And the more vulnerable people are, the more easily persuaded they are by people who have that kind of approach and that level of influence. So the fan theory I read that I thought was intriguing was, it wasn't Percy's idea to write to Ron. And he didn't write the letter. He signed his name to it. But he didn't write it, somebody else wrote it and said, This is something that we think would be helpful. If you did, it will support the ministry who will support Umbridge send this letter to your brother, we know he's still a student there and just see what comes from it. If he writes back, let us know. Because
we know that all mail has is being read and searched. Yeah, yep. So when Ron's letter goes out, you know, inquiring about and questioning the ministry then of course, it's like, okay, we need to bite this and, you know, like, you have influence over your brother. And so I could see as much as I could see someone, you know, having written it or told him what to write, like, I could see that but as far as like, going back to the, the way I see it as as was said the hive mentality of like, he was in an era he had his goals, his ambitions, his goals, and he even put up with a boss who didn't even know his name, you know, like he was he was, he was at the bottom trying to work hard and put himself through anything just to get where he needed to go. And he was
at the bottom all right.
And then he he praises Umbridge and is like, Oh, if you need anything wrong, go to umbrage. So the way that I see things is Umbridge was someone that he looked up to because she like say they had like regular teas together. Like she's like, sure someone who was you before I started at the bottom and it was very,
I like to see that see, you
know what I mean? Like that, like, like, she's that person who sees him so then he feels like he has to be on her side. And so then that's why he supports her is because she's like, look like look how where I'm getting and the things I had to do. And like I'm not close to my family anymore, but my career is fulfilling enough or you know, things like that. So I definitely see like Kim deaf he's young, he's vulnerable he's surrounded by people with a certain mindset you think of politics like they're going to do and say whatever to manipulate you to feel and believe something and make it seem shot you know, just like I think of the Queen a moment like you know, rindo vol tells her exactly what she wants to hear thinking that this is the reason why it's good that they're going in that direction and she makes that choice for her you know, for her like love for good reasons but into a bad direction. And Percy very well could have those intentions of you know, and like he says at the end like they're like oh, so finally you're good. You know, you're here. And he's like, it's been coming on for a while, it could have been coming on for a years, like over a year or who even knows. And he didn't know how to get out without being like, well, I could be locked up if I do or say, say anything. And I'm gonna pee could be like an anonymous, like, into the ministry and sending letters to Dumbledore in some fashion or things like that, like that no one knows about, and he just has to pretend that he's still, you know, estranged from his family. So there's just lots of opportunities to, you know, like, just being the devil's advocate of like, defending, like, like was said, we don't see Percy's point of view. And yes, we get that out of the letter. But the reason that letter exists, there's so many factors that could affect that, besides just being a very, like thoughtless, no empathy, just like, you know, just he could be that person, like, he could be person that you're just like, wow, you're just the worst, like, he's a product of his environment, you know, like anything. So I and I think that makes him a way more intriguing character to play with, because as much as he's like, strong and determined and, and willing to do whatever and have, you know, be strong in his thoughts and feelings. He obviously when someone gives him what he didn't have, or didn't, you know, like, wasn't given enough of like, he's going to loosen up, like when I see that moment with Umbridge of being like, I'm here for you in your corner. And these are reasons why Harry Potter is like a problem and what puts you at risk and even your family, you know what I mean? Like, he's going to absolutely think about these things. It's like, oh, my gosh, you're so right, because that's what that's what she did the entire time at Hogwarts as well as where she got where she was. She knew how to say and make things sound in a way that could be believable and people did. Like obviously there was Dumbledore is army there was Harry, there was Hermione, there are people who, like knew the truth, but they couldn't prove it. And still didn't believe anything she says. But the fact that there were people who did you know
definitely because somebody like Umbridge would be for someone like Percy for most people. I mean, Umbridge I mean her in with Percy is I know how it feels to be ambitious and be overlooked. But like to Percy, somebody like Umbridge is the cult of personality, because she has what he wants. She's got the minister's ear. She's got the power to write laws that people don't have to like, but they have to follow. And she has got everything neatly ordered. Just like he likes it a lot of the time. And then things don't work out with Umbridge they put her in charge of the school it all falls apart. And do you know the we barely see or hear we don't see or hear anything from Umbridge for the events of half-blood friends with Percy we just get the one moment during a very frosty Christmas where he's been working with the new minister and then I've never thought about this until just now. But Percy and Oliver wood are two of the people who respond to the call for Dumbledore is army. Yes. And the other is when everybody is assembled to fight the Death Eaters in Deathly Hallows. What if that was like their moment that brought them together? Like they are literally, they are fighting side by side. And then okay, here's where it takes a weirdly sentimental turn. So sorry for making people sad. But we all know what happens to Fred. Yes, talk about vulnerability. I mean, there's just there couldn't that's like peak vulnerability. You're in the middle of a war. Your brother just died. You're gonna need somebody. And it's not. It's not dirty. It's not smutty. It's not. It's not like that kind of story. Like some of the others we talked about. It's that moment of Here is somebody whom I respect in a way that is different from how I respect people who are like me, and they need someone right now. And I've been a captain, I've been a leader. I know how to do that. So what if like, I just became somebody that he can count on right now.
Yeah, that's really sweet.
Then they fall in love? Of course you do. Yeah.
Yeah. And then that paves the way nicely for a top person as well, because I'm assuming that a lot of the emotional energy that he was feeling can be channeled into other areas that then that's legitimate.
I would, I would believe that because Percy I mean, personally was even there when it happened. So he probably feels a terrible loss of control. So what if that was even like a very intimate kind of thing? are a PE where he feels like here is an area where he actually can be in control. Oh, I like
I like that. Yeah,
I do as well. I also love the idea of Percy being a double agent that you brought up like, but but he's been a double agent the entire time, but unable to reveal that to anybody lest he be sort of compromised. So I love the idea that he's clever enough to maintain this sort of pompous front that he put on in school.
I mean look at Severus Snape no one likes him like no one likes him and part of it is like he's not trying to be liked or to be seen or have anyone get close to him that's not the goal because if they did, they would no literally his entire life is focused around playing the two sides so I could absolutely see the same thing for Percy
his life is focused around Lily
it's all for all of her for whatever reason,
it's just it's different. It's slightly different with Snape though because with Snape, Snape enjoys the theater of keeping everybody away. He loves the performance of being the loner. He's like, I am the loner, but I simultaneously want everyone's attention
Dave I always felt like was so dramatic for somebody who doesn't want to be seen he has that narrow Tarik, look at me and yeah, you can't wear a cloak I'm sorry you were around the corner that billows that dramatically as you're walking down a corridor and tell me you don't want people I mean and the flourishes Yes, there is no reason for you to like stretch your new to leave yourself and say I can teach you to be a witch I can tell your how to bottle theme and then what? Mr.
Ghosh Oh, wow.
Oh my God, and that is why I can't remember her name Emily. Something. Please help me the one who writes who draws the brilliant my life as a background slithering. Oh yes, I know her first name is Emily. But that is why her version of Severus Snape is the one that always lives rent free in my mind,
because it's literally just it's literally doing gymnastics.
We have Snape for you know teaching us to dance at the Yule Ball. It was very near and he's going yas channel trend. It's got the new delay.
Emily McGovern Yep. So I'm Emily's cartoons on Instagram. So everyone go check those out.
That's it Emily McGovern god okay Emily good McGovern wherever you are. If you ever hear this Yeah, never know the joy. Yeah have brought you that you have brought to us my wife made a version of Snape doing that flouncy move. Yeah, a Santa hat teaching the kids to decorate a Christmas tree. She drew that and framed it and gave it to my brother as a Christmas present.
I love that.
Children Christmas flowers.
One of my favorite ones was the Halloween one where it was like a Draco and Emily were like it was like a couples costume and Draco was a broom and then she was a snitch that actually flew away and she like goes and just literally flies away and the trick was like oh I'm gonna go see a potter will sit on me
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
my gosh, I've just like That's so like subtle but also like I'm gonna go see a potter will sit on me
do it absolute all time now that we're down this rabbit hole my absolute all time favorite moment from my life as a background slithering has to be the one where Dobby is cleaning up after the New Year's party and says that things that Dobby I see.
Be so good.
You can't just like look at them like you read them out loud and you voice the characters because it's almost like the it's almost like the comics are commanding you to do
it. Yes. They're so dramatic.
But there's so much life in those comics
there is and yet sadly no Percy Weasley or all verwood Well,
I've seen that it might be that they exist, but I haven't seen them.
Even I mean, she even expands out into my life as a background Gryffindor Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff and she's got all of the different characters who are who are all excellent in different ways. So she might have like mentioned their names in passing or something.
Yeah. Oh man. I've just eyeball eyeball smiles now because I just like that ever times that I've laughed to cry just with short little stinky cartoons are just so they just bring so much joy. I love that. Oh, anyway, proceed over what?
Yes, something about Percy getting wood I
That was almost the title of my fanfiction. Oh, I
love that. Actually,
almost. It was almost Percy gets some wood. It was almost the big red door. But the title I settled on was this one is just right.
I wonder if you can guess why
was I gonna say Oh, dammit.
Something about Quidditch muscles. I don't know why I love I love. I think I pick this up from fanatical fics also, but I love whenever people say Quidditch muscles. Yes,
muscles are fucked though.
You have to have them. They have to be a thing.
Yeah, that has to be. Well, I imagine that muscle gain isn't as much of a problem in the wizarding world because there have to be spells that can help you get there, or at least very advanced nutrition that you can that you know, you can just be like, you can develop that body a lot quicker. I think we joked before about like engorgement charms with the boys in the dorms you know that could that could apply to any muscle? I'm assuming so, you know. So but no Quidditch muscles are a fact that is just That's a way of life Hogwarts. But I have to believe that there are some times that that people turn up at Madame Humphries with Quidditch muscle growth related injuries, that it just looks like steroids gone wrong. And she's like, What have you boys been doing?
So it's something that I thought of when like circling back aways when we were talking about like what Oliver could do outside of Quidditch. Yeah, and one of them being like, obviously, he's obsessed with Quidditch. So they share a room and that's all he talks about and Percy's rolling his eyes like literally every single day of his life. And finally, there's a point like probably either after having that conversation with McGonagall of like, I don't know, you know what to do or things like that, or maybe parts of things that he discusses is like, Man, I wish my broom did a or b or Wouldn't it be neat if something else you know, like if if this was able to be controlled or just because that's part of his strategy brain is like how can we be efficient and everything and part of it could definitely be in like him knowing different aspects of different brooms and things like that. So part of it could be maybe he would go into working in inventing brooms. And so part of it came from Percy listening to his rants. And then he sees out of the quarter of Zeid this pile of wheezes you know, products that he had like confiscated from his brothers and finally went like oh, he could invent you know something as well as like, maybe my brothers could like help him you know, making that connection and being like, you know, you maybe could talk to my brothers about whatever because maybe they have some idea or what if what if the twins did like tweak their brooms in some way. And so then Oliver's like Well, that's you know, and then they start working together in that so partly, like Percy is like, oh my gosh, why are you getting involved with my brothers maybe already has a crush on him at this point. And it's like you're spending all your time with my brothers blah blah and you're never around and he's like, Well, Percy, why do you care so much?
Because I like to tweak my broom all that
I need a good re bristling
Why don't you come up and polish my handle time? Oh, wow. I love
my broom and
yes, my twigs are sticking out in all different directions. Nope. That doesn't sound good. Doesn't sound well, actually. I was okay. You went there. And I'm trying to think like would if they invented the position of physical therapist for Quidditch players and like maybe that's the thing. Maybe Percy considers a career change. He wants to do something compassionate to help People so he interns at St. Mungo's because he's got the grades, he ends up interning in the department where they deal with Quidditch injuries. That's where he meets all of our wood. And he helps him to, you know, work out the soreness that he's gotten.
Okay, now we've just assaulted straight up into bad B row porn,
right? This is B plus roll porn at least
Oh, I have this terrible pain in my ankle.
Well, it's in your ankle, but I should probably start with your head and work my way down. Because the reason why your ankle hurts could very well have to do with something. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. Your balls are the size of bludgers. Ah,
you don't want to get smacked in the face with one of those. Oh. Yes. So anyway, very compelling and very appropriate for Quidditch muscle access, which clearly wants a lot off and who can blame him?
Not me. Oh, okay, so
we're at the hour mark. Do we want to move on to the story because then we can talk about it afterwards. Storytime? Storytime?
Storytime? Storytime? Story? Yeah. Story, test. Data route. Story time. That's the vibe that I want. Because that's the kind of story that this is it'll make sense in a moment.
Okay, this isn't storytime it's store it.
Yes, Nathan. Yes. Story.
Today's story is titled, this one is just right wing. Thinking of putting a winking emoji after the title when I published Nice. Alright, so once upon a time, which is an obvious beginning to this type of story. Perfect. Percy was sauntering through the woods. Yes, he was sauntering. It's a thing, and people do it. For it. Anyway. There he was, sauntering through the woods, reflecting on his very recent breakup. Don't get involved with your co workers. Mum said he thought too loud to himself. He's too old for you, Dad said he continued to think out loud to himself. Well done perfect Percy. He was obviously determined to talk out loud to himself This entire story because there was no one else to talk to for the moment, except whoever may be reading this just now.
So he's not only talking to himself aloud, he's documenting it into a monologue which he will then distribute as an educational pamphlet to an audience.
I can't I have a lot of the narration of this may have been very influenced by the fact that I have been making it my mission to read through the entire series of unfortunate events series.
I was gonna say Lemony Snicket. I was literally going to say,
this feels very Lemony Snicket, this narration
Yes, I love Lemony Snicket, so please continue.
Is it my fault that I'm more curious than Bharti is? No. Is it my fault that he's not as flexible as I am? Whoa, is it my fault that I lost my temper and started calling him Bharti grouch? All right, that one is probably on me but all the say I love that the reader might like some context at this point. So here's the sitch. Perfect. Percy got a job at the Ministry of Magic, and he fell in love with an older man named Barty Crouch who happened to be his boss. Things were going great for a while, until the day perfect Percy was at the local library, and he wandered into the section that only adult witches and wizards are allowed to enter. He picked up what he thought was a book about Muggle carpentry. The book was called the correct way to nail something down. But it was a very different sort of instructional manual
reminds me of the time was it a US senator was being interviewed and they asked him why he had Grindr on his phone. And he said, Oh, I thought it was a coffee.
I mean, you could get some beans on there, but Yeah, you you could get your beans ground with that.
It's just a very different kind of this is the same kind of Muggle carpentry. Yes steak. I'm saying it does happen even in the Muggle world so it sure lievable it's relatable. I'm buying this I'm into it continue.
He couldn't put it down. He was curious. By the way, when you look at this document, the number of ellipses that I have put in this document is absurd. This would never get past a publisher.
I love it. I love it so much. It's just first person is so extra. So
yeah, this this is an AU where IV a lot of things that were in the sea, I abandoned the cannon and I just took the characters and I just did whatever I felt like doing with them because there's so much fanfiction out there like that, why I can do it too. Not everything has to fit with the Canon, so just abandon the Canon the Canon has no place here. So he took what he learned to his boyfriend Bharti, but old Bharti was well, old Bharti he was definitely not down with a lot of the things that perfect Percy wanted to try out. So they came to blows but not like that, and they were broken up. So here we find perfect Percy sauntering and wondering what to do now. Would he even still have a job when he got back the next day? What about his needs, he couldn't just ignore them, without realizing he had sauntered up to a cottage in the middle of the woods. It looked in many ways, like the home he'd grown up in the yard was a little more overgrown than his mother would have kept it which told him that this was probably not a place where a family lived, at least not a respectable one. And there it was, again, the snobby attitude that pushed so many people away when he was a student. What on earth was he going to do? It's like, there were two blast ended screws inside him. A prude who keeps things nice and neat and in order, and one who is just a horny scroot
oh my i Sorry. Before everything started I don't know if it's in this episode, but we talked about how every little thing in everyday life immediately goes dirty instead of like normal. And of course like oh, he's got two screws inside. Wow, was that going
on likes to keep things in order and one is just a horny screen.
Clearly, Hagrid wrote that book on my Muggle carpentry because if he knows what to do with and how he were invented the script that has to be 100 Hertz
Oh my god. This is why we need fi on this episode right now to reaffirm our kinky our grid. It's but yeah,
well just go listen to the Hagrid episode again. I liked the Hagrid. Oh, so much fun.
It was a fun episode. So picking it up from one who is just a horny Scrooge. Sorry. We should probably get back to this cottage. So yes, there is a cottage. Perfect Percy stomach started to rumble and he realized he hadn't eaten all day. This is important to the story because if perfect Percy weren't hungry, and apparently alone, he wouldn't have any reason to walk into someone else's house uninvited.
I'm hungry. So obviously it's okay if I just go in.
i That's one of that's one of the things I love about Lemony Snicket narration style is there's all of these moments where it's like in real life, you and I both know, this isn't how this kind of thing would go. But the plot won't move forward. If this doesn't happen right now. So this is going to happen right now.
It's very fourth wall breaking, but also, this person would absolutely use hunger as a justification for breaking and entering by
indefinitely. So perfect. Percy walked up and knocked on the door. No one was there. He knocked again, and still nothing. He pulled out his wand, but not like that. And said Hama number baillio. Nope, the cottage was deserted. He walked in the front door, which was conveniently unlocked and made his way to the kitchen. He helped himself to a couple of pastries and an apple and with a quick tap of his wand again, not like that. He multiplied what was left of each so nobody would know he'd been there. Oh, that was nice. If only he hadn't looked over. He wouldn't have seen that. There were Quidditch robes strewn all over the stairs and down onto the floor. It wasn't his home. It wasn't his mess. And yet the perfectionist in Him would not just leave these robes all
over the place. I'm picturing literally like 13 different sets of Quidditch robes literally over banisters and on the stairs.
Yes, Quidditch robes all over everything like Yes. Like that's the decor. It's just Quidditch.
Instead of kittens that's just Quidditch row.
Yeah, like stitch together like, thirdly.
Hey, before we had proper curtains, we used blankets for curtains in our first apartment. So yes, I feel that
shower curtains. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I put up newspaper at 1.0 Swish I felt. Yeah. Love it. Yeah.
I love that. So he gathers up the soiled robes and makes his way up the stairs. Not feeling weird at all about what he was doing.
So yeah, that's such an interesting word.
It means whatever you need it to baby. It means whatever you need it to. Yes. Properly soiled,
lightly soiled. Just Just a little, a little on the pecan side.
You go. And a little bit sticky, perhaps but there's lessons that could be
potentially Yes. Anyway, I'm stepping on the story. Please continue.
Now. It's all right. It's all right. It makes it better. So he noticed there were three separate houses in all the different robes one Griffin door, one slither in and one Hufflepuff. So apparently, some people knew how to work through their differences. Oh, wouldn't it be terribly dull? If perfect Percy did the sensible thing and left this house that didn't belong to him without poking around? You bet your asset would. So Curiosity will once again get the better of him. He decided to have a look in the bedrooms and see who fit into these Quidditch robes. The first door on the right belonged to the slither and he knew because the whole room was decorated in dark shades of green. But that wasn't the only thing in the room. There was an enormous wooden structure in the corner in the shape of an X, a collection of whips and other leather instruments on a small table and executioner's hood sitting on top of the
Oh wow. Is this somebody related to McNair? Like Oh, who
is this play house? Like literally like different like Quidditch plate? Because I mean, they're like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, okay. Okay, I'm so invested.
There has to be real play of some sort because he's got a St Andrew's Cross in the room. Like
oh, okay, now, my guess is they're great but I mean, it's it's it's the line that comes out next that I just I love so much that this is how I went with it. Perfect Percy check the label in the slithering robes and saw the name M Flint. Yeah. He threw the robes on the bed and walked out saying this one is too hard are you getting it now? It looks like you love it as
much as I do. Oh, I see the little home full. Oh, cute.
You can picture you can picture him in a little red hood if you like. Oh man helps. Okay, now buckle up. Because this next paragraph has the greatest Harry Potter Pong I've ever come up with and I will not hesitate to say that I am proud of it. Nice. So hold for the last line of this paragraph because you're not ready. Okay. All right. The second door on the right belong to the Hufflepuff. He knew because the whole room was decorated in shades of bright yellow with pictures of badgers. But that wasn't the only thing in the room. There were restraints on each of the four bed posts. A large collection of BL mangas on the bookshelf in the corner and a small cupboard with bottles labeled Bertie Botts Every flavor lubricant Verde, but every flavor lubricate
Can I I will I will even quote you an author's note Can I please use this in future?
Yeah, that and you use that for whatever you need to
every flavor. And you literally buy it and you have no idea what flavor it is.
Yes. The thing is, I don't in any way wish to compromise the integrity of your artistry here. But what if it was squirty bots? Right have replaced
unless it's Omega verse that I'm totally
squirty and birdie certainly do run but I learned I liked birdie butts because it's the alliteration sets it off. Yeah, first name is birdie. And his last name is but like birdie bots would be birdie bot would be his professional name birdie butts would be like his only fans account.
Wait so yes, yes but so are we saying that this Hufflepuff has invented these multi flavor magic lubricants like whoever is going to be revealed as the owner of these robes has a side hustle whether inventing magic loops
already existed just obviously students in Hogwarts we didn't read about it in the
say either that either that or they're just a person who likes to shop in bulk yes
because they have several bottles of this Bertie Botts Every flavor lubricant. I'm sorry, I still
am I in a grass mood today. What about some black pepper?
Please imagine going through the loop. I'm sorry. Imagine going through the loop and accidentally ending up with the toothpaste variety. And then jumping right like I'm gonna need to excuse myself 20 minutes Wow. Harry Potter and the accidental enema
the last enema that shall be destroyed is
exactly what it says in the back of the bottle. Wow. Oh
take I will take guesses about which Hufflepuff you think this is? Well, this
is either Cedric has survived.
It's any Macmillan. It has to be any Macmillan. As you were talking about only before
Oh Fleetwood Mac Fleetwood Mac.
Oh, I was I was talking about him before it was an eye you were Zacharias Smith perfect Percy check the label in the Hufflepuff robes and saw the name Jay Finch Fletch les deception.
Justin you kinky busted.
Justin for some reason he just he reads to me like a greedy little bottom. I get it. Yeah,
I I just I love his whole setup his whole vibe. Also the fact that Percy just sees restraints on each of the bad posts and he's like, Oh, just yeah, this person you
know I get it. That's why he has so many bottles is because of course he's like he's gonna buy them he's going to try them and have them organized in different flavors because obviously he loves getting his ass eaten. So he's like, whatever you like just let me know like when you go to the dentist and they're like what flavored you know, Polish Do you want like what flavor do you want to use to you know, my this is paid off so much more than I thought. So, you know,
I just I imagine him having his civil Trelawny moment where you know, whoever he's with his significant other, you know, is asking him what he wants to do. And he does the civil Trelawny moment where he's like, the room brought in your ass. Oh, my God, that is so perfect. Okay.
I need more right. I'm waiting for to get to the third room. Okay.
Oh, yeah. Okay, sorry. Yes.
Perfect Percy check the label in the Hufflepuff robes and saw the name Jay Finch. fleshly. He threw the robes on the bed and walked out saying this one is too soft. Oh yeah, he is too soft, too
The first door on the left belong to the Griffin door. He knew because of the door to the room was red and had a sign on the outside that said all of her W's room. So he's just putting it on the door. This is me. Yeah. Big Red Door. Hey,
yeah, because he keeps forgetting like he keeps going into this room or whatever. And finally like it's actually yeah, accidentally and finally it's like x Dantley Ollie, you need to stop this like it's red. It has your name on it like it's right there. Or like
he goes into J. French's room and he's like, oh, sorry, I'm just wondering could I borrow the candy floss flavored birdie butts.
Birdie butts. Yeah,
definitely feeling it in a candy floss kind of a mood noted that the two previous rooms have a kind of a kinky theme to them. All of his room is painted red. So this literally gives him a red room. I don't want to jump ahead of the narrative, but I'm liking where this is going.
All right. So hold of her perfect purse, he said to himself. He knew all of these young men, but this was the one that he remembered most fondly. For some reason he could never admit it when they were at school together. But he had always been very fond of all of her. Perhaps it was the way he was as dedicated to his Quidditch as perfect Percy was to his studies. Perhaps it was the exquisite jaw line that presented itself so clearly every time all of our turn to the side. Perhaps it was the shameless way. Oliver would strip off his sweaty Quidditch robes after a match. Yeah, it's
definitely though. Yeah, it's definitely not lost.
Sweaty Quidditch row. Like the ones in his hands right now. Yes, he could just give them a quick sniff and
oh my gosh, amazing.
Cheers. Perfect. Puracy voice said behind him. Perfect. Percy spun around. And there he was. All of her would. Oh, boy.
was probably screwed now. Not like, well, hang on. Let's just see where this goes. See, I love the idea that somebody will read this and after so many times, but not like that. It'd be like not like, well, actually, no. Yeah, actually remind let's, let's let's let's just hope for the text. And let's maybe maybe it's like that. Yes. It could be like that. Okay, here we go. Oh, there's more. Oh, oh, boy. There's more. Mm. There's more. Oh, all of her said perfect, Percy. i I'm sorry. I know. This is odd. I just all of her held up a hand to stop him. I saw you from across the meadow. I knew that head of red hair in a moment. I might have tried to stop you. But I couldn't help wondering what might happen if you came in and had to look around. Did you find anything? Interesting. Um, I perfect Percy stammered. Your roommates? They're very diff different. Oliver finished for him. Well, yes, said perfect Percy. They certainly have interests. Like I said, lots of ellipses. You could say that, said Oliver. Sometimes they visit each other in the night. The noise is unbelievable. Perfect. Percy paused for a moment. Not sure if he should say what was on his mind. He decided that he should. And who visits you in the night? lately? Not anyone special? Said Oliver. That is not until today.
Oh god. I cannot I cannot I can't I gotta chill.
You must. Oh, but you have us because we only have a few paragraphs. Well, my God.
Give me Give me Yeah,
that's what he said. He grabbed perfect Percy by the wrist and held him up against the red door or did you never were a naughty one at school? Where are you Weasley? All of our trace to the outline of perfect Percy's mouth with his thumb. I love when they do that.
Oh my god. Yeah, save.
I think I understand. Curiosity has very interesting timing, doesn't it? Perfect. Percy nodded his head not saying a word. He could hardly believe this was happening. There was something so strong and in command about all of her in this moment. And yet he was so in tune with perfect Percy's energy, almost like they were feeding off of each other. How about we do some exploring before you saunter off home, Oliver said in his ear. Perfect Percy said nothing But took out his wand. Yes, this time it is like that. Oh, and allowed Oliver to push him through into the room with the red door. And as it closed behind them perfect Percy thought to himself, this one is just right. And oh,
my gosh. Okay, I have a trial. I can't I just that was amazing. That was amazing. I My cheeks hurt. My sides hurt. I'm sweating. I don't I'm gonna have to edit out Nathan's heavy breathing like this
oh my god, it was heavy breathing.
I could hear you It's like
no, that's vaguely disturbing.
Gracious. Am I better at this than I thought it was so
good. I mean, implied. It's just like, oh gosh, that was so so great. But my favorite part, hands down Bertie Botts Every flavor lube is the best thing. You ever heard of
that? That was one of those rare moments like I can't just sit around waiting for lightning to strike twice that was just that was that was the moment that was wow, that was my Rosebud
that sitting around
Wow. Oh my gosh, that was amazing. I loved every every bit of it. I mean, just how like ridiculous like you said Lemony Snicket at that that was and also it like the like build up of you know, it'd be starting off kind of like silly and then all of a sudden you're like, Okay, where's this going? And then he was there and the goat pushing him in the room and closing the door and you're just like, Oh my God. And then Percy never left again.
Oh my god, How perfect would that be? Actually there'll be perfect for perfect Percy. But also I love the fact that all Oliver just lives in a random fairy tale frat house in the middle of Marcus Flint,
right? Because how many how many times have we seen something like that in adult entertainment? You do the Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Oh, this one's too hard. This one? Yeah. I was like, okay, usually we talk about like different levels of erections. But in this case, I'm going to be like okay, this is going to be too hard or too soft. In terms of like how they like it. Yes. Oh, and I just for some reason, those are the names that most immediately came to mind. I thought okay, the one who's definitely going to like have to be well versed in after care for their subs is going to be Flynn. Yeah. And then I guess after all of the you know, talk about Ernie McMillan I guess I could have gone with Ernie McMillan because then you would have Flintwood Mack right there in one house.
Yes. I mean, there's like I mean, when you go to post it on day three you absolutely could just swap it out for EMIC villain and then they could have like, like, it would just be so funny if like the name like if there was like a name above the door of the cottage. That was literally Flintwood
Mack back or lint? Well, anyway, we go in the wrong order, but oh, what back?
Oh, I love okay. Okay, when we cast this thing and do it for real, like that's how we'll that's how we'll set the scene. That's what it will look like. I think I was what I was really thinking of was I am I will I will probably till the day I die now that I know it exists. I will be hopelessly obsessed with puffs play. And I just thought of J Finch Finch and around Finch in the halls pinching myself. Pinching the world like J. Finch has this very. I mean, his first line is My name is Jay Finch. Fletch Lee. I'm bullish and fun. That I feel like it's like, okay, bottom, whatever. The guy who the guy who plays him in that play, Nick is super duper nice.
Amazing. I've never seen it but I just I love that. There's a connection there. Yeah,
I want to see it now. Yeah, that characterization is so spot on. Yeah,
like I've got it in my Amazon queue. I'll find a way to like stream it so you guys can see and we can all like that. Together. That'd be a fun movie.
Oh my god. Yeah, we should have a watch party. That's so cool. Yeah, we'll do
that. And we'll watch puffs like Giuliana is definitely and Melanie are probably definitely gonna want to join in because we did we we watch that play and for their Patreon supporters, we did a DVD commentary nine puffs that people can play along with the play while they watch it.
Wow, that's awesome. It was pretty
fun night. Yeah, here you go.
Maybe we should do DVD commentaries for the film's
oh my god Terry's for the film oh my gosh because then we could totally be like oh okay so pause there's a moment between such and such character look at that chemistry yeah but like from the from literally a ship moine point oh and fanfiction like native to grid Oh, absolutely need to do this. That's absolutely amazing. I freaking love that.
We could call it the shipping forecast like so I don't know if you know what the shipping forecast is? No. So it's like this thing on British radio. And it's this really old like maritime tradition where they tell you it goes like after the news and it's basically to do with like wind strength, what the seas are, and it's for like people sailing so as they know what they're sailing into. Right. That's called the shipping forecast. But we could literally call it that and do like
Harry Potter shipping. I love that. Wow. Oh my gosh, that I mean, oh my gosh, that would be so much fun. I could see that as literally being like a series of episodes of being like okay, we're gonna go through like seven episodes of each. You know, being each movie. Yeah. That'd be so much fun. Nathan. That's brilliant. This is so
because we could watch the movies in real time. Yeah. And just be talking to each other as we're watching. Like that. Thank you for putting that idea. You Jeff. Yeah. That would never.
Okay. Love that.
Oh, okay. Holmes once said to Watson, you may not be yourself luminous but you are a conductor of light. Oh, that's me.
Possibly sweet and possibly very patronizing.
But that's Sherlock Holmes all day. That's like, patronizing is the closest to sweet that Sherlock Holmes ever gets.
Yeah, that's true. But then he is also, you know, adult to the eyeballs with any number of drugs and opiates. So no, that's not to get around. Oh, my goodness.
That Yeah. Okay. Can I say can I say your open ended, you know, thick. There's nothing to say that it couldn't be a top person. Like there's nothing you know, like, that would be
exactly because he doesn't say I'm going to drag you into my roommates bedroom and tie you to that giant cross in the corner. He doesn't say that. What he says is how about we do some exploring before you saunter off home?
Oh my goodness.
Then they just magically attach another room to that cottage and Percy never leaves it
Yes. Yeah. Well, he says it's like the burrow so it's like maybe the rooms they added Percy's room or just made Oliver's room bigger because they don't separate
Yes. Oh, I love that so
and then they added a giant canopy to the top so that it looked like a mushroom and definitely not anything else the and
oh my gosh that those fun guys.
Oh my Yeah. Wow. Oh my gosh.
Man, and this mushroom Tower Set between two giant boulders that have always been there for sure.
Oh. Oh, circling back to so circling back to earlier when I mentioned how right now there should be what is it a like a prompt based event for Percy to make around Percy. So it's called perceptual prompts. And every week in August, there's different prompt cards that give you like phrases or pictures or stuff like that, that you can use as inspiration to make work. So and it can obviously be anything around you know, like there was an Oliver one. So at that time, we were really about like ooh, making some Flintwood works and now we're into Percy so we're like oh Oliver can still be a part of it because ultimately Chrissy who's running these is a big perceiver shipper Hi Chrissy. And, and so doing the Oliver themed event and the now doing the Percy themed event isn't surprising to me. So if any Anyone wants to you know, I'd say like with with Jeff's permission continue this read rooms like that way so much fun but either way
yeah rewrite it add on to it create the next chapter just whatever
more Percy content we want or like in the same
universe like what happens if you ship Marcus flint with somebody other than Oliver wood or even with Oliver wood or you want to figure out who's going to be like the best top for J Finch or a Finch and his collection already, but it's a free flavor lubricant. Like, whatever you got just write it down.
I definitely need more magical kink in my life. And I think if I was ever going to have a useful springboard into that would be an environment where these four people get together in a way that explores with each other because they don't. So I am who I am, and I want what I want, but I want them together with each other, because that's that that's what I that's what my heart needs. Okay, so I I just feel like we've seen various shades and textures of potential exploratory avenues. And it's all just very intriguing. And I like it a lot. So thank you, Jeff, for bringing this into my life. Because you're well, it was, well, everything that you've shared has been great for its own reason. But then this today was you have surpassed yourself the quality of the writing the way the anticipation built, the sort of the way the language was very borrowed very extensively from things like Lemony Snicket it was all just so good.
Thank you, I cannot help but feel like a low key proud mama moment right now. Because like being a part of seeing your growth in fics, like pretty much on our podcast, like the girls bringing your spooge and then even the direction that the wolf Starbucks one was going and then this one literally like being like, okay, things are going down. Like I'm just like, we're like we're having that like, like smutty effect on you. And I just love that for you. And for me, because this is the best to experience,
you can tell because the first one was wholesome. And the recent one was some holes.
So join us next time for magical shippers, after dark. spoke about SQL and everything that involves
all of them, please send us an email and let us know what is your favorite flavor of every flavor lubricant. Oh, man,
oh, my goodness, that is amazing. Well, I thank you for that. And thank you for coming back. And every time in the future when you do come back, because I'm sure you well. This has been so much fun.
Thank you for having me. But anytime you Eddie, anytime you need me, just shoot me a message. And I'll be here because I thought we had a good time with Wolfstar rocks. And then I get to come back and do this again. I mean, next time does give me a ship that I don't even see coming that I didn't even pick just like say, Jeff, we need you to put this together. That's sort
of what we and that's a lot of what we do. That's like Nathan, what are we doing in two in two days? Like?
We don't know.
That would be that would be the ultimate challenge for me because all of the chips that I have written so far are chips that make total sense to me. So I would love the challenge of a shift that like I have to really think about it and figure out how it's going to work nice.
So you know you can't give me that option because my brain then immediately goes to what is the craziest thing I can think of Yeah, give Jeff about
Percy slash to blast ended screws.
And one is just a horny screw. Yeah, that's gonna be like the tagline that's inside the dust jacket in the published version one was you know, wholesome and orderly and the other was just a horny screw Love
it. Love it. All right, well, gosh, this was so much fun sprout Yeah,
so much fun.
Oh, goodness. I had a blast and I can't wait for all you you know, obviously you listeners have gone through this with us just now and it's just so much fun. I just love the content. that that you can create, especially as a group, I'm so I'm so proud of us. And it's like we you know, it's already been a few episodes since our one year and we're getting into our second and with everything, I'm just like, this brings me so much joy every time we do this and I just, I It's so much fun. So I can't wait to see what we do next because you know,
and you know, not that I'm not proud of that early work that we did. But we would never have done an episode like this off the back of something like Linny you know, tonally, we we've grown as a podcast, and being able to see that and I just, I love the direction we're going in as much as the stuff that we're making right now. Because as excited as I am about what's happening now, I do think you know, where are we going to be in a year? I'm already so happy with how this is going right now know, what are we going to be doing in a year? Am I going to actually have this gonna be instead of just my face on the camera, I'll just be honest and Andrews cross doing
you'll be doing CrossFit.
Anyway, so thank you, Jeff, for coming on and doing this all with us. And thank you listeners for dealing with our nonsense. And we hope you had as much fun as we did. And hopefully Jeff will have you know, the AO three account set up so that we can get your stuff up there because that'll be so much so much fun. It's just the world needs it. So So yeah, so until next time, we all get together and we'll forever ship things next week.
Do more. Whatever laughter and it will involve characters characters that you know. The thing is, I like having this mystery of not knowing the thing of like, we don't even know we surprise ourselves that this is why we end up so happy at the end of the episode because right before we start, there's the terrifying moment where neither of us knows what we're going to be discussing. It's just like, let's just pluck something out the heart. It's like Whose Line with?
Yes, absolutely. All right, well, thanks and bye. Oh my gosh, amazing.
So now that you've finished enjoying that episode, a bet you're wondering what we're going to be talking about next time. Will it be a ship? Could it be a trope? What about our character centric episode editing makes put the listeners out of their misery. Next time we'll be focusing on
Hermione Granger and Viktor Krum with guest host best from WZ rd radio.
So come back to enjoy that, that you're really as possible convenience, but you know, preferably sooner rather than later. Because we do make it so you listen to it. And we hope you enjoy it. Remember your uncle Nathan's advice? Be kind to each other manager Mischeif and we'll catch you in the next one soon.