Care of Magical Shippers Podcast Episode 16 - Don't go breaking Mockhart (Gilderoy Lockhart/Minerva McGonagall)

3:37AM Nov 21, 2021

Speakers:

Care of Magical Shippers Podcast

Megs

Nathan

Keywords:

mcgonagall

lockhart

minerva

snape

people

thought

ship

hogwarts

love

episode

teaching

charms

class

pairing

valentine

absolutely

sending

mcgonigal

podcast

feel

Hello there listener Yes, you specifically, you should know that sometimes due to the things we discuss on the pod, it might contain potentially triggering content. But the good news is you can always review the episode descriptions for a full list of the warnings applicable to this episode. Oh, and just so you know, this podcast is rated R for really filthy. It includes adult themes and explicit content. So if you're an adult, buckle up, Gird your loins and prepare to flood the basement because we are going down with these ships. I just I wanted to make sure because I didn't want to do like inserts later and be like, Oh,

by the way, or like, or what was I thinking? Like, every single time or like, and once again, we don't know what we're doing next so then all our episodes just be like, and yeah, we'll see you next time with whatever thing we do.

I just think we should just say that at the end of every episode, just be like, we don't know what we're doing.

We pretend we know what we're doing. Yeah,

visit our website at WWW dot somehow this gets made .com

don't care if I get my bearings? Well, then you can hit the bricks. This is my OTP. I'll go down with this ship.

Hello, everyone, Care of Magical shippers? Not slashers, shippers.

podcast,

I'm Megs.

I'm Nathan. And what are we talking about this week?

Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. So this week, we decided to go like just completely off the rails cracky positively ridiculous. This popped in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it. And so we're going to be doing Gilderoy Lockhart and Minerva McGonagall. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. So this one, obviously, is completely ridiculous, because they're so different in so many ways. And of course, people will be like, Oh my gosh, like age gap, whatever. They are two consenting adults. They're fine. Like.

Exactly, exactly. And I just love crack ships. I think crack ships are incredible. I love the mindset that writers get into when they're like, What two characters can I shove together today? And I have to say, when you when you suggested this to me, because I know we talked briefly about things like Snockhart before or like Snape and Moody when you suggested this to me. I was like, I don't know why I have never thought about McGonagall and Lockhart together, but mock heart is gonna be so good. And so earlier on when you mentioned it to me, I was like, I have this visual of McGonagall turning into her cat animagus form and transfiguring Gilderoy into a ball of wool or yarn just to play with him

and starts chewing on the end of the string.

Of course she does and then when he transforms back his hair is all grizzled and

scratches all over.

Yeah. It's vaguely traumatizing for him but he enjoys it. I think in this relationship Gilderoy is definitely more submissive just just lets himself be thrown about because who doesn't love that from time to time?

Right? Because I see him being obviously the one to pursue Minerva but as far as like when they're actually together, obviously she is going to be the dominant one but I just, I - What was it? I had a thought that because of course Gilderoy comes up with the like, singing Valentine's for, you know, Valentine's Day. It's like, oh, send the person you know, that you love or crush on like a Singing Valentine? Well, he sends one like every single class period to McGonagall, like different like sonnets and songs and things and she's just like, oh my god, I'm going to kill him. Either be it that like he's trying to like woo her or they are already in a relationship and she's just like I told him we have to be inconspicuous and he's like, I'm sorry. I just love you so much. Yes, so extra,

and even after she sends away all of the like, emissaries that sing all the songs. He sends her the equivalent of Howlers, but they love letters. So it's just magically magnified, like, declaring his undying love to the whole classroom doesn't care who's listening. Everyone gets to be clued in on this because as far as he's concerned, he's in love. And he's the most, you know, the best wizard in the world. Everybody deserves to know how happy he is about this.

Yeah, I could just see her being one of the first like, so I can see Lockhart being like, into older women, like he's just like, total, like total, like, loves a MILF, because he's got all these older married women who are like reading his books and like something, and he's never like, he doesn't have a relationship of his own, because he just like thrives off of that. And when he comes to Hogwarts, and he meets an older woman, who doesn't think he's the cat's pajamas, he sees it as a challenge. And so he, you know, goes tries to convince her differently. And then as he goes, he's just like, falls more and more and more for her because of how much harder she's trying to, you know, whatever, deter him from advances. Yeah, I yeah, I just I love it. Like, I think that I feel like he, as much as he loves to be praised. I mean, I feel like praise kink could be a thing, but also, I don't think he would be against like, shame kink. She would just like, it would be the first time when someone like really kind of like, knocked him down in a while. And he's just like, like, oh, how could you? I don't know. I don't I just think its funny-

What are you saying that they're doing it on his Witch Weekly's? Like,

Could you imagine, um, on his desk covered in his sign photos?

Yeah. Yeah. It's literally the ultimate humiliation, because all of the versions of him are like, scrambling out of the way trying to get squashed by what's happening.

But then on the flip side, I could see him with whoever, like, maybe he did this in the past. Because of course, he's like, he's so obsessed with himself. But he's the guy who has a mirror, you know what I mean? Yeah, like, does the mirror sex thing?

Yes. Oh, definitely.

And has his portraits everywhere. So it's like, the whole time. He's like, I'm into you. But what's really getting me going is the fact that I can see me everywhere.

Right exactly. And so so you know, the way some people might quite like to take a photo during some some fun time and keep it I absolutely think he has those that are then you know, magically moving or whatever, and he still signs them. Because they're, you know, precious moments to him. I don't think they happen very often for him, because I don't think there are very many people that would put up with his level of ego. But I definitely think that if and when they happen, that's what would would happen with those because I definitely see Minerva as being one of those characters that would not put up with any of his bombast. And so one of the better ways to shut him up is definitely to turn him on.

Yes. And I could see the moment things shifting for Minerva as like, maybe it was an instance where like, he was in his office or thought he was alone. And was like trying to practice a spell like before a class and was like, it just obviously wasn't going well. And he was getting really like, defeated and you know, knocked down and then she like got to see a sense of vulnerability in him that no one sees because obviously to everyone else, he does no wrong. And yeah, yeah,

and I love the idea of her trying to cover for his blunders. So like covering up the, you know, the magical incompetence, cleaning up his magical messes. I mean, we see some of the the scrapes he gets into in Chamber of Secrets, but I think it would be really funny if, like, even the charms used to bewitch the the little things that go around sending the Valentine's, even if McGonagall had to do that in secret, and she's like rolling her eyes sending each one off, you know?

Like she's the one who actually gets it to actually go into practice. Oh my gosh, that's so funny!

Yeah. Yeah. And I think for her more than just mothering him, I think she appreciates being validated as an older woman as well. Because because the I think so we touched on her article on Pottermore a while back and she's lived a pretty lonely life like, like canonically she fell in love with a Muggle and it didn't work out and she she's been lonely and unhappy for quite a long time. So to get this amount of validation and this amount of like, you know initial pressure from Gilderoy but then acceptance and love. I think she absolutely as much as his personality grates on her I think she could absolutely love that as well.

And she definitely taught him when he went to Hogwarts.

Oh, I didn't think of this. But yes!

So he he probably was like the cute but like, knew he was cute, but obviously a struggling student who was just adoring her. And she was just like, oh my gosh, like office hours. He's constantly there. And she's just like, "What now Lockhart? Like what now?" just like, Oh, I just wanted to like show you blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, she was like, just waiting for the day that like he graduated or whatever. And maybe he kept writing her. And like he would send her copies, like advanced copies of his book. Yes, to kind of try and show off that he's like, See, I've you know, I'm doing great things even though he didn't actually do them. But he's like, had his sights on her ever since school.

Oh my god, that is incredible. I love that! I love it and I hate it at the same time, but it makes me love it more. I just think he's definitely we know he loves to show off. My question is though, how would any sane teacher allow that man to graduate when

I don't know

When all he's good at are Memory charms? Unless he used to be more competent with magic and then something. So so my headcanon might be that he was fine with magic until he was doing a memory charm on somebody one day, and it kind of backfired?

Oooh went all funky Yeah.

Or somebody cursed him. And it was like the next spell you use will be the only one you're able to successfully do ever again.

I could see him because obviously he continues to use it going forward but he charms people like it kind of like a Tom Riddle, almost like he convinces a teacher maybe to like not give him as bad of a grade or like I promise next time it won't whatever like he probably schmoozes and butt kisses his way like out of things and he knows that he can so that's probably I think about it but what I think is hilarious is that I think it's like toward his last few couple years in school was when Snape started teaching potions Oh, but of course Snape would have his standards for his NEWT classes. So he probably wasn't, you know, teaching him and but still, I just think it's so funny for the you know, the thought that Lockhart was like there when Snape first started teaching and then I'm sure he saw Lockhart around and I could just see that teasing and so that's where kind of you know Snockhart can come into play obviously with with that, but But yeah, he was definitely crushing on McGonagall like he's you know, writing like Gilderoy you know, Lockhart + McGonagall or something.

Yeah, it's etched into the desk probably with a with with a with a scalpel because he can't do it with a wand. So he's like etching it into the wood with just like Muggles would. And she's and she goes round her classroom at the end and just sees this and she's like, rolling her eyes at it, like not thinking that years later, things would actually happen.

But she doesn't get rid of it. You know, like she could probably easily like, fix the wood. You know what I mean?

Exactly, exactly. It's the same. It's the same idea as Flitwick not getting rid of that last little patch of swamp that Fred and George make because he's he was like, this is a really good bit of magic I'm gonna leave that. And maybe McGonagall just enjoys that little bit of attention, even though she like outwardly has to be oh my god, you know, and just annoyed at it. Behind that professional veneer. She's liking it secretly.

Yeah, or perhaps he just keeps redoing it. You know, like every class like she would like get rid till finally, she reached a point of like, whatever fine like, it's just every time he's like, he's not paying attention in class. He's just carving on the desk, and maybe she calls him out and he, oh my gosh, okay. Okay. So he definitely acts out in her class to get detention. You know what I mean? Like she definitely yeah, she he wants his private time with Minerva

Yeah, and then you know, when she's so she sets him lines or whatever, and he is not even concentrating. Like he's just practicing his like loopy signature, but it's like Gilderoy and McGonagall, Gilderoy and McGonagall over and over and over. And then and she sees this, and well there's nothing she can really do to extensively reprimand him or whatever. And then remembering this from years later when they do get together, she remembers it and now she sort of thinks about it fondly.

Yeah.

Whereas at the time, it might have been like, oh my god, I can't believe I have to sit through another detention with this dolt, you know?

Like, oh, gosh, he needs St. Mungo's. Like, why is he's just so obsessed with? Oh, my gosh, and of course, it's it's Hogwarts. So if something's off or weird or sketch, it's just normal. Like, they don't do anything about it. They dont do anything. It's like, oh, yeah, boy obsessed with teacher. Who cares? That's fine.

You just know. It's like that scene from Mama Mia, where it's like, [sings] "when I kissed the teacher"?

Yes.

That's what's going on in his head.

Yes.

So that's why when he comes back to teach at, Hogwarts, that's what's running through his head. And that's why he has the big Valentine's Day celebration. And he's like, I obviously love somebody very proudly. So I want the whole world to share in this philosophy. And I can just, I think, had he gotten his way entirely, he would have made he would have wanted to make like cast like musical charms. So you know, the way in some fanfic characters just start singing for no reason. And there's just songs, like in the middle of in the middle of fic. Like that's what he would do for Valentine's Day, given his way.

So he definitely showed up late to staff meetings, just for McGonagall to yell at him.

Oh, my God.

You know what I mean?

I Yes, I never even thought of this. But maybe, maybe his magical incompetence is put on just so he can have her correct it. Just so just so it's like he can have her fix it. And like, and he knows that even though she's like visibly annoyed by this, that there's also another level to it. So maybe he's just, I mean, maybe his incompetence, like part of it is real, but at least part of it is is put on because he's like, I have to play I have to ham this up, you know. Gilderoy is so he's an actor. He's so he's such a lovey, he's, he's egging everything up. Everything is a is a giant performance. And so I have to believe that even his dumbassery, if you want to call it that has a sort of theatrical flourish to it.

Yeah. And you know, that when like, the sign went up for dueling club, that she just like, rolled her eyes so hard. Because it probably was another ploy to like, get her attention. Like, ah, I'm going to be teaching students how to duel. And of course, the first thing she'd be like that is the absolute worst and most dangerous idea I have ever heard of.

Yeah, exactly. So I have some thoughts on this. Number one, why in the dueling club, is it Snape or not Flitwick?

Yeah,

Because Flitwick is a dueling champion. And number two, why isn't McGonagall there? Because we see how good good of a dualist she is when she's battling Snape.

Yeah I uh because what is it because, well, I mean, of course, it's different when it comes to the Valentine thing, because he asked, he says on behalf of a bunch of teachers, like Oh, Severus could teach you a love potion, and Flitwick knows like something charms and like Flitwick like, like hits himself in the face or something like that. So I imagine that he probably didn't ask like he like kind of maybe he didn't ask for help. And Dumbledore put Snape up to it. Because Gilderoy wasn't gonna be shown up by Flitwick. You know what I mean?

Okay, yeah, yeah, I kind of Yeah I kind of see where you're going with that

He's the babysitter for everybody. Let's be real.

But also if there's somebody like this is also why I think Snockhart works because if there's someone that wants to match, Lockhart for levels of dramatic intensity and drama, it is Snape and they both you know, they're both just twirling their capes, and

I was gonna say their bolts like dramatically spinning around to walk away and their cage just goes flying and it's just oh my gosh, they're so extra

but I definitely think it was probably a ruse to get McGonagall involved. Yeah. And she saw through it or, or Snape just decided no, you know what I want to I want to do this because you know that that sweet sweet humiliation will be will be so good to watch unfold. But, but I definitely I would love to see the fanfic where McGonigal and Lockhart have their own private dueling club. Ah, yeah. I so that they're literally throwing each other about and then you know things...

a different sort of dualing, different wands involved.

Possibly, whether whether or not they'll be bowing beforehand is, is, I suppose up to the author

up to interpretation. Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. But so when you first floated the idea for this ship to me, I remember that I said to you, I could totally imagine Minerva saying, oh, Gilderoy, but would you find the entrance to my Chamber of Secrets?

Yeah, cuz it's like, you said that you knew you knew exactly where it was. Well, you should prove it.

Yeah, exactly. So he and so he sets out to do that, I imagine with a great deal of enthusiasm, and absolutely no finesse whatsoever. But but, you know, but also he's good looking enough that she she'll put it up because you know

Or maybe he misinterprets her. And she is talking about his ridiculousness and the nonsense with the Chamber of Secrets. And she says something in some kind of way, like and so that drops to his knees, and starts pulling up her skirts, and she's like "what the heck are you doing?!"

and she's just like, not again.

Gosh, I just, I just What do you think the the breaking point would be for her to actually be open to a relationship with him?

I think she'd have to be very uhh. I don't know if McGonagall canonically drinks. Oh, no, but we see her.

She goes to theThree Broomsticks.

We see her Yeah, at the Three Broomsticks, she's had. She's having fire whiskey. So I think maybe a couple of fire whiskeys in. And she's, you know, one day she's had a particularly bad day, particularly stressful new class, or whatever it happens to be. And then he's there, you know, pressing his advances, and she just goes, No, you know, what I've had a hard day, let's just, let's just see what happens. And then she, and then she sees what happens. And she actually about maybe about halfway through. She's like, Oh, actually, this isn't so bad, you know,

This isn't so bad. What is it? She's like? She's in her 60s? And he's 28 when he teaches at Hogwarts

That is quite the age difference

Oh my Yeah I just. I could also see her going through like waves of like insecurity too because because she's older, and just being like, why like, why on earth when you have all these women like sending you letters, sending you parcels full of I'm sure unmentionables like you have, you could have anyone like why would you choose me and it's just I love that opportunity to be like, you know, him trying to prove to her and maybe enter Valentine's Day when he's just like, I'm going to tell everyone how I feel about you. And she's like, we did not talk about this. And so she appreciates it as well as mortified at the same time. And yeah, but yeah,

yeah. I just feel like for him, it's a new kind of challenge. And it's one he can do. and it. You know, it doesn't require magic. So he feels that he's up to it, because he knows he's good looking. And he knows that, you know, women have been fawning over him. But I think for him, the attraction is like you said, Because McGonagall isn't she doesn't think he's the best thing since sliced bread. And she's not fawning over him that he's like, Oh, he here's one I have to win. And you know, um, so he puts on his best florid voice and his, his most chiffoney robes, and he's constantly like, trying to make her see why she is the the object of his affections. Often, like you said, it'll be annoying. She'll be in class and they'll be

I see him dismissing his classes early all the time. Just so he can like loiter casually outside her classroom when like the end of class or when she's like, getting ready to leave. He's just like, casually there and she walks out and she just like, rolls her eyes and just starts like stomping the other direction. And she's like, he's like, Oh, Minerva, I had no idea I would run into you here like, he's just any opportunity? And she's just like, oh my god, like, when is he going to leave me alone? She goes to Dumbledore and he's like, you know, there's a curse this will be it'll just be one year. You can manage

And he gives her a present and it's a portrait of him. But you know, the way you can talk to portraits and get them to move in and out of frames. So the portrait actually has twin frames, he keeps one in his office, and he gives the other one to her. And he's forever sending his like portrait selves, with missives and messages and like little love notes, and it just gets so distracting that in the end, she's like, No, I have to for one way or another, I have to silence this so she marches over to him, and things happen... and yeah

Yeah, I see her on occasion just having to like, flip it down on her desk. Like she actually like has it like it's a small one just like propped up on her desk and then she's just like, oh my gosh, you're too much right now. Like just has those moments where it's like, you just have to take a breather from your significant other and he's because you're just like, you're so much like you're so much. You're just so much I love you but oh my gosh

he's the definition of extra and then you just hear from the muffled portrait

and she's just like, and you know, he's buying her like the most luxurious tartan accessories like all Yeah, I mean, she's just like, oh my god,

I reckon as like romantic incentives. He will take her to Quidditch games, because he knows how much of a Quidditch fan she is. And so it's not only like tartan accessories, but like things about what like women in Quidditch, like books and matches every sort of, you know, all the paraphernalia that goes with that, like I, I see him absolutely finding out every single one of her interests. And then like making gift baskets or like, they'll go on picnics, and she she finds it all so intense, and so extra, but underneath all that she's she is actually smitten with the sweet sweetness of it as well.

Yes, yes. Because it's like, at first it seemed like so much. But then she realized that it's like, wow, this is this is genuine for him. Like, it's not just him like flaunting like it's she can start seeing the different sides of him like oh, that's public extra Gilderoy, this is romantically focused relationship centric, you know, Gilderoy, I could definitely see him bribing her to go on a date, because he got, you know, he got, like, really good tickets to some Quidditch game. Because, of course, he's so famous and maybe like, maybe it was a female team. And of course, they were like, oh, you know, with you can have like, top box tickets or whatever like to give him and so then he's like, Can I get a second? And they're like, well, for who like, and then he comes, he shows up with Minerva. And then all the girls are just like, wow, like, what is he doing here with her and McGonagall is like having a great time, but trying not to show that she's having as great of a time as she is. And he's just like, acting like a really excitable child. And she finds it so cute and endearing. And that's what I love. Because it's like, he's he's like a bouncy ball. And she's just kind of like, chilling there next to him just letting him she's like, just just let him tire himself out. You know what I mean? Like, just tire itself out, then when we get home, he'll just like flop on the bed and just go to sleep and it will be.

Yeah. He is the literal definition of an excitable puppy. And, and I feel like he's, oh my god. So maybe he trans. He gets transfigured into a puppy at times, because she calls him that, so she'll go into her car. And she transfigured him into a puppy, and they just are like, like cute little animals together.

Yes. Does he have what do we think if he had an Animagus form? What do you think it would be?

It probably be like a pygmy?

I don't know. It's

like, cute and small and fluffy.

I could see him as like some like fancy froofy like fluffy cat like he'd also be a cat because of course, like cats are like a Dormy like worship me sort of like personalities. And I could just

so you think he'd be like a sphinx cut because they're really showy and expense. No,

no, yeah, but I just know I just I picture like a super Like posh fluffy white cat like with like a you know, like diamond studded color and like, you know like, oh

my god,

I'm so like Arista cat. So Duchess he's totally the Duchess. Yes.

Oh, have you seen that? So I'm thinking of the is it the little dog in her in Pocahontas? The one with the bow? Yeah, the little the white fluffy one there. And it it's like eating the fruit and sitting in the little bath picturing I mean that, but

oh my gosh, okay. No, but he Okay, he could actually be probably like a super excitable dog to like he's just like so much like a Jack Russell because they have so much energy. And he's just like hype all the time, and just would be running circles around Minerva. And she'd just be like, like, Oh, I just I just love the idea of her just being like, openly, like expressing as if it was annoyance with him. But of course, like inside, she's just like, oh my gosh, she's just like, so cute. But I just can't handle it all the time. And but like, she just has genuine feelings for him. But it's it's yeah, he has to learn how to like, manage him. Like I could see people being like, how the heck do you handle it? And it's just like, you just have to let him go until he stops like, it's just kind of run out of steam. There's no point like trying to you know, stop things or whatever.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I just, I see that he for her can really bring out her fun side as well. Because I think so much of what we see of her is professorial and professional, and very detached and almost cold. And we see the mask slips occasionally, whenever, you know, Harry does well in Quidditch, or, you know, she's really worried about Harry or whatever. But we don't really see very many tender or emotional moments with Minerva, I think because he's such a, an excitable little puppy. Like she can't, but help sometimes just be drawn into that energy. And it's so as much as it can be annoying in small doses. It's also incredibly exciting for her because it's it's giving vent to this playful side to herself that she doesn't really let loose with a hell of a lot of the time. So it's like therapy for her in a way as well.

Okay, so I'm going to take things in a completely different direction. Okay, how do you think Minerva would handle the memory accident that sends Gilderoy to st Mungo's permanently

so I was gonna It's funny, because that's exactly what I was gonna do. So, I think I love the idea because we've been talking about this ship in a purely cracky sense until now, but I also love the idea that she is one of the people who after he's had the accident, for some reason for whatever reason, like you say, she taught him Hogwarts. So when he's remembering people, hairs is one of the names or the faces that keeps coming up in his head. And so he tries to first he draws her face or whatever, and then starts remembering her name. And then the nurses sit over healers, I should say, see that this this person keeps coming up in his his work. And so they said, you know, they find Minerva and they say, Well, would you come to St Mungo's? Because, you know, this keeps cropping up and it's obviously got something to do with you. And I see it actually being a really wholesome ship. She starts helping him build his life back together. And because of all of the stuff that is sort of left by the wayside, because all of the all of the you know, travels across the world or whatever, he you know, she can she can gloss over that it's not it's not important. She sort of she builds him back more like the student she knew rather than the famous man he became right and I see that being really touching and wholesome and quite heartwarming in a way

so kind of like how with our Arthur Lucius episode that I thought of the You've got mail a you now I'm imagining 51st dates ever like he was drawing her face? The healers came in and they're like, something's happened. And she's they he's remembering something. And I was that's exactly what I was picturing. So it's like, how can we make this Hogwarts like, like wizarding world edition of 51st dates like, and then it just it shows? Imagine the like the role reversal of Minerva, all of us sudden becoming the romantic one, you know, versus like him always doing every little thing. Like she thinks of all the little things he ever did for her that made her feel like wanted, valued loved, and she does it in return for him. Because she knows that it's something that he loved to doing for her and he gets so excited about it every time.

Yeah, yeah, it's and it's just in those little gestures of, you know, when, when she's teaching him to maybe send off a copy of a book again. And like learning how to sign his name, but she's holding his like, quill hand while she's guiding is to do it. So all these little cute moments, and I know we've started off at it in a super crack headspace. But now, this is actually really potentially quite sweet. And of course, you know, she just wants I could see her just wanting somebody to care for as well. Yeah, because she cuz she, she teaches all these students year on year, but then they grow up and they go off and, you know, after seven years, she doesn't see them again. And this is this is Gilderoy came back to her, but then had the accident. And so whatever romance they had had to have been really short lived. And then yeah, you know, disaster stroke. And then she thought, well, that's, that's it, I'm lonely, I'm on my own again. And then out of the blue, she gets contacted by St. Mungo's at three years later, to be like, he's remembering. You know, I was so how am I so invested?

It's like, oh, god, yeah, we totally went full circle. Oh, man. So, oh, gosh. And then what about God? What about what if? What if, when he started to remember, because this is like, potentially two years later, she gets permission from St. Mungo's to take him to the Quidditch World Cup.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that would be incredible. Do you think she would have to disguise him? So he wouldn't be recognized?

I don't know. I don't think so. Because he he mentions there that he's like, I he's like, I must be someone famous because I keep getting all this fan mail. And he's still like sending like, there's, like, there's still fans that contact him and send him letters. So I feel like he would just thrive in the attention without feeling the need to like, I don't think people would know that he didn't remember things because he would just be like, just basking in the praise or excitability of other people around him. So and then Minerva would probably just be at the side like happy for him to be interacting with other people and to to be, you know, bringing in the admiration. But then on the other side of things would be bittersweet, because she feels like she isn't enough for him now, because that's something that he needs. I could also see her being like, not like pretending them to be not romantically involved, but being like the person that he knows, like, he knows that there was some sort of connection with her. And so she comes and spends time with him, takes him on outings. And maybe she just, it takes a while, but then he realizes like, Oh, you're not like, you know, my like a caretaker or someone who like knew me as a kid. What we had was different. And so it's like another sort of like notebook do so we have the notebook, and then we have 51st dates. It's just like, oh,

it's very very quickly becoming a romantic comedy. slash a guy you know, I don't want to say it ends tragically, but this is but we are setting it up like yeah, it can't last as well. I don't know I Ollie's all these films with sort of caregivers and but then it becomes something more it's always like yeah, to temporary thing. Maybe maybe as he gets more of his memory back, he starts to realize the sort of egotist too used to be and then maybe once that happens, he's like, wait, I'm batting below my average people, and so I don't want to go down that route because I don't like I don't like dwelling on heartbreak. I also don't want to feel like McGonagall deserves to be heartbroken again. So I want them to end happily but I think we have to talk about the possibility Yeah, that one of them moves on for reason, right? Well,

I also see him you know, asking questions like how do I know you? How do I know you? And she's just like, oh, we work together or whatever, whatever. And then he's like, No, it's Like something else, and like at some point she like leaves like a photo that we they took together or something like that, like maybe they went on vacation or even just like some something and she just leaves it there. And he sees it. And then either like it triggers some memories or when she he comes back, maybe he's really hurt because he's like, Why didn't you tell me? You know, this whole time like maybe it's like months of them spending time together and he didn't realize what he was feeling was something genuine because maybe he had feelings for her. Like he could feel himself falling for her but didn't think that they had any chance of a relationship like that just to show that they did already. And she just was hiding it essentially. Yeah, man.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to scare him off. And so I could see her wanting to reintroduce herself into his life slowly and with great care and almost trepidation because she doesn't want to start on him. And she's had such heartbreaking experiences with love in the past as well. So I see that she is you know, wanting to tread very carefully. Then once Gilroy gets wind of Hold on. We were We were involved beforehand. And now, you know, you're only letting me find this out what months later. Then, you know, but then I could see that, that all of the tension and the tears and everything else just like resolving itself with some some passionate love making the end.

Oh my gosh, you know that they're so kinky. They're just so kinky on so many levels.

Well, McGonagall has to be right. Yeah, that's to me. Yeah. Not telling me she okay. She is a wise woman and she's seen a lot of things. I have to know that she is at least you know, because I see her having a lot of romantic experience. Even if she's not been involved with that many people. I see her maybe having had a lot of flings or one night stands or whatever. And so she she's been around the block, she knows what she likes. I know

many of them man either. Minnie the minx? Minnie the minx? Yeah, no, absolutely. It's kind of like similar to when we talked about like Hermione in I think, the Hermione episode about how like she's read up on everything and she's walking those boys through exactly what she wants. And but I could definitely see you know, there's potential for praise kink because he's into that shame kink because it's the opposite of what he normally gets. And then obviously, obviously, some mommy kink because he's being you know, like, just like, I just, oh god, it's just it's just like, I just see him. Oh, god.

Yeah, I see her like, or I see him asking her to like dress up as a photographer. Yeah, exactly. Like pretend she's from the Daily Profit, like the photo shoot for like a boudoir spread, which weekly or something.

But then she's like, directing him to like slowly remove like items of clothing. And he's like, pretending it's like, I don't know about that.

Feeling really self conscious.

Oh my gosh, that would totally be an absolute roleplay of theirs. So wow, I love that so much.

Okay, I know I've asked our listeners to send us some pretty interesting fanfic. But I think this this thing that I'm going to ask you for right now is probably the nearest and dearest to my heart I need maybe is that fanfiction? Where it's their role play? And I just I want it for the humor doesn't even have to be sexy. It could just be the stuff leading up to the sex, but just the banter between them because she's so dry and sardonic and aloof. And he's so full on I just I just please want more of that. If you have it in you to write something like that for us and send it to us. I will love you long time. Feel

bad it's like well past like prompting for the HP rare pair fest like Oh yeah. And that would be a perfect prompt. Lockhart slash McGonagall. McGonigal is a role play as photographer and they're having a you know, dude wash and things things happen. Oh, My gosh. Oh, so fun. So would it be possible if he hadn't had the memory charm thing being how Hogwarts is run? Do you think he would still have his job?

Yeah, I do. Because I really bit fundamentally believe that there's no vetting process. Yeah, there's there's no, like independent regulatory body checking on the competency of these teachers. Like, I really do think that he's famous enough and connected enough that if he doesn't undergo the memory charm backfire, of course, he's hanging on to that job. It's, you know, no one's checking his classes. And presumably students are complaining, but no one's listening to the complaints. So he could just stay there for as long as he likes.

And then they still have the DA the DA could still happen for different reasons. You know what I mean? Like, I carry you need to teach us this guy's so incompetent.

So what So then, I'm just now realizing that in the perhaps the most cursed twist of them all, Lockhart and Umbridge could get together over their mutual like, inability to competently

see, oh, my goodness.

And, you know, when they're that hatred of the job, and really their hatred of, of everybody, and I just, yeah, obviously, I prefer Mark Hart, because it's so much more wholesome. Funny, but I

took it where we took it. Wow.

Yeah. But no, I absolutely think he does. He holds on to it. And he probably gets more accolades, and probably does even more dangerous things. Like can you imagine if Lockhart was teaching during the Triwizard cup time?

Yeah, fourth year. Oh, wow. Because he

he's got to be like, Oh, I battled a Norwegian Ridgeback. You know, in my, in my fourth year, myself, Hogwarts or something is out

there with the dragons in the forest and his like, His hair's getting singed and whatever and he's just like,

what if Gilderoy gets charged with putting the cop in the maze, and he accidentally like trips, as he's going to place it ends up being teleported to the graveyard and Voldemort's just like who is this? What what's going on?

You're like five hours too early. Oh my gosh. She's just like, oh, dingy sort of place this Do you live here?

Technically it was his, you know, off his dad's house way back and whatever. But yeah, oh my gosh, that's so funny.

probably be the most quickly placed imperious curse in the history of imperious curses.

Like he would get better though, like if he and McGonagall were in a relationship. And we're both teachers like he would finally own up to his limitations. And like she would actually he would be open to and eagerly anticipating her to like help him like to teach him like they would have their lessons, then maybe she rewards him much. Positive reinforcement. Yeah.

What if he went on to teach something akin to the equivalent of wizard social studies, because he's been to all these countries. He has traveled around the world, he's met people from all different walks of life. What if he ends up teaching something that isn't that doesn't require magic as a competency. But that is more of a social studies thing. So that he is teaching what he knows, because he has a lot of knowledge he's bound to. And I can see him loving, genuinely imparting actual wisdom. And getting a lot from that because of the positive reinforcement he'd get from students then his own, I could see his relationship with Himself becoming better. And just then he's becomes much more of a listener partner, where he's really, you know, he'll come back home to McGonagall at the end of the day, or whatever, and just be like, so what happened with you and just being really there for as opposed to needing to be helped through life? And I really, I like to think that anybody can outgrow their flaws and granted, he has some pretty big flows to outgrow. But if he's going to do it, I absolutely see McGonigal advocating for a different teaching position for him. I even like the fact that Harry could come back when he's done his eighth year or whatever, and teach Lockhart himself. And then they overcome a lot of their like past baggage or drama or whatever. Interesting. And I think Harry would just about be patient enough to do that as well, because he is now done with his world saving thing. So he's got to find ways to tamp it down a little bit and, and figure out like practical ways to help people that don't involve dying for them. And I think Little things like that, it has to validate Gilderoy validates Harry, and I could see Minerva being instrumental in setting that up. You know how he does Harry doesn't want to do it initially. He's a bit reluctant, but you know, eventually what if eventually it's realized that all wizards need therapy and pass

chili? Finally,

like post eighth year or whatever, it's accepted that all wizards are gay all wizards need therapy. And and so all of this reconciliatory stuff can happen. You know, if moody didn't die, how much of his how many people would need to apologize to him for like thinking he was mental and crazy off the wall and but that because he had been through so much trauma, like everybody, like ultimately, if you've listened to me ramble for long enough, you know, that I love when things get a nice resolution. It's probably one of the reasons I'm most annoyed at the epilogue, because it pretends to be a resolution when it isn't one. Yeah. And I just want to see characters getting what's good for them and what's right for them. Because as we've discussed, fanfic, is our therapy Yeah. And if Gilderoy can be redeemed that through Minerva, then anybody can, and I just, I want to see it happen. Yeah, so maybe one of our bonus episode should actually be like, redemption centric. And what the epilogue should actually be, like rewriting the epilogue? Yes. So it could be fun. Yeah,

I think that there's only two Gilderoy Minerva fics on ao three. Three, So research is, is correct. And I believe one of them was like a side pairing. And like probably some sort of cracky something. So obviously, we need more content for this, but it doesn't stop us, obviously. So yeah,

we can talk about

literally anything. We just

love we like this week, I was really excited to just get a bit mad. And crazy. Because you know, we've been doing conventional ships or you know, or sensible ships, you know, whatever you want to call it. I have been pressing you to be like, can we do crack this week? Can we do can we? Can we crack please, please? More crack, please. And then eventually you relented, you're like, Fine, we'll do a crack.

Yeah, it's great. Yes, it was great.

I already excited to start thinking of more crack pairing ideas for more episodes like this, if you enjoyed this one. And you've decided that what you really liked listening to our our silly head Cummings, for pairings that are cursed and really, definitely, genuinely don't belong together. But we'll make it we'll then get get in touch with those. I mean, we might not necessarily be always able to make episodes about them. Because some of them are so out there that we that that falls even outside of the purview of this podcast, which gets pretty wild. But send us your ideas, because it's those that we love. And you know, if you're excited about it, we'll get excited about it.

And we talk about stuff in the discord all the time. So if you have thoughts are anything like that's a great place to do it.

Yeah. Or if you just have like a random thought, and it comes to you one day when you're on the commute to work or something, drop it to our Telegram, or our Google Voice, which are lovely ways to get in touch where we can like respond instantly to you.

Especially telegram it's so we have we have fun Nathan i are sending us each other messages all day. So hearing from you guys is just that would just be such a treat for sure. Oh, yeah.

I just I love the idea of just instantly getting that audience interaction and you know, when someone's excited about something, and they're that enthusiasm is infectious. I feel like that carries over because that's what happened with Tomarry You got it you read the love of God wizard and you got so excited. You were like oh my god Nathan and you know how many episodes later this is still about Yeah, so yeah yeah, just said that really Irish then you're like very excited

excited excited I don't know. Sharp with T's I think Tatianna Parseltongue I'm speaking I don't know what pecker

Max is PETRONAS is a word

so next time I'm really excited though, because I can't believe it took us so what he's doing, I can't believe it took us so long to get to him but we're actually finally getting to Draco Malfoy. And we'll be pairing him with Neville long bottom.

Yes, we were finally we're getting some Neville justice I've been talking about and and it's a slash ship ship. So you know, we're gonna

have a great time.

And we'll be Care of Magical slashes again.

So exactly. But yeah, so we're really excited about that. And as we said, so our telegram is, I think at Care of Magical shippers. Podcast correct. And then oh, so we wanted to update you guys on social media. So yeah, we're human. And we can't always human well.

Very, very correct.

So being two people who work full time and making a podcast and my sense to podcast, getting around social media is very difficult. Yo, for the most part, it'll be like instagram and twitter or just gonna be kind of like episode updates and whatnot. And probably the occasional amazing meme that Nathan makes because there otherwise will probably be the most active on Tumblr just because it's so much easier. I mean, you could just like read blog and cute. Box is always open. Both Nathan and I are checking it like all the time and then of course telegram as far as like if you want immediate direct interaction with us. That is great. And then of course we have our public discord which is also in the description so you can hang out with us there too.

But get in touch there. We love you all. And we can't believe we are this many episodes into this podcast. I know but the fact that you are here and listening and taking part and being part of our weird and wonderful thing is so it means so much to us. We see you we hear you we love you. And we can't wait to catch you in the next one.

Catch you we just were reeling you in after this ship and something something oh my gosh, Giuliana was doing so much better than we are we're still struggling so hard in regards to ship ons, our signups just our sign offs just continued to be awkward. So by lunch we have set sail and now we're back at the board.

Because we don't go oh, he made, you know, at the start. Yeah, our IEP Nathan and that. We

don't want to start doing that.

No, that's not a good thing. That's not a good color. I much prefer it when we're like hi and bye because it belies the sort of unprepared people that we are with we're terrible at this but we love doing it. Yeah, so we have

to ask ourselves at some point that's the problem. We could just keep talking forever. So we have to have awkward sign offs because it's essentially cutting us off.

Yeah, but I'm just gonna stick with my not saying anything bit and then bursting out laughing after

Sia.

Editing max here, so apparently I did maths wrong, and I messed up on what we're doing next. So instead of travel, we're going to be doing a Hagrid centric episode because we wanted to release it on his birthday. So we'll be joined by our friend fee and having a great time talking all about Hagrid, his character as well as anyone and everyone we could see him paired up with. So dreadful we'll be making an appearance after that one. So just it'll just be four weeks out instead. Have to so apologies on that regard but it's going to be fun and can't wait to see you next time. While you're waiting for the next episode. All the shipping fund can continue online. You can head over to all of our social media platforms like magical ship pod on Twitter and Instagram, and Care of Magical shippers podcast tumbler, you can get in touch with us by email at Care of Magical shippers podcast at g mail.com. Or you can leave us a voice message with all of your ship and fic thoughts and feels and have the chance to be featured on a future pod episode. We are also live on Patreon patrons have access to early episodes, bonus content, extended uncut episodes with all of our nonsense fic gluts written by me exclusive merch and a patron discord. Another easy way to show your love for the pod is by leaving a review on Apple podcasts. And thank you so much for listening