Hello, my mover and shaker. Welcome back. And if you're new to the show welcome. In today's episode, the shit we need to talk about is capitalism waits for no one and it also cannot be kept up with. So my advice, take your energy and run away. Now let go for a run unless that lights you up. But I mean more in the simple meaning of take your ball and go home kind of way, disengage, disentangle yourself trailblaze a new way forward, just like you are in all of your disrupter work. And I know, I know, it's easier said than done. Because capitalism, white supremacy culture, the patriarchy and all the systems are prevalent and deeply entrenched, everywhere. I know. But here's the thing. As we discussed in the last episode, we are trying to find ease in our work, and everyday life while also navigating capitalism. But the only solutions that are offered to us to reach our goals are pushing us to join the rat race or are bypassing our actual experience. And we're supposed to be doing all of this as fast and intensely as possible. And so the result then, is the endless cycle of burnout. That affects everything, your work, disrupting your relationships, your self care, your authenticity, all the things you hold dear, all the things that give you pride, all the things friends, it affects all of it. The reality is, and the shit that we talked about last week was you can't sprint a marathon. I say this so often, this reminder, so this will not be the last time you hear it. The year is 365 days, it's the Marathon of all marathons. And you simply cannot sprint a marathon no matter how hard you try. And the harder you try, the worse the cycle of burnout is. And as a result, and as we discussed in last week's episode, trying to keep up only results in an endless cycle of burnout. Right. So that goes for you disruptors, just like you and a byproduct of this endless cycle of burnout is that friend, you are actively upholding the very systems, you are pushing so hard to dismantle. I wish I could see your face right now. And also maybe give you a hug if you consent to it. Because I know that that's a hard pill to swallow. I know it certainly was for me. Because I know you pride yourself on giving a big ol middle finger to all the oppressive systems, any chance you get. And you work daily at disrupting them in so many ways on behalf of bipoc and to s LGBTQIA. Plus folks disabled folks in gender norms and the binary for access to health care, including gender affirming care, and the list goes on. And all the ways you are showing up in support to dismantle, tear down all the things. But friend, if you are in an endless cycle of burnout, as you're trying to do all these things, if you're not actively, mindfully taking care of yourself, and you're upholding those systems. I know it sucks, right? Like, oh, you may have to pause here and come back. That's okay. But here's the thing, since you're in the circle with me, I know I know, you want to balance yourself care, all of your work, and life along with the changes of the season. Because you're you're here listening to me, then you subscribe to the fact that we're connected to nature. And we need to honor that connection, right? And you also want to do the things that you enjoy while managing all this stuff, buddy, you find yourself in the same cycle over and over year after year, repeating the same practices and cycles, even though they're not working. Because it's not you. It's not for a lack of wanting to do things different and differently. And it's also not for lack of trying. It's the fact that what other choice does dominant culture give you? In last episode, we named factors that contribute to the endless cycle of burnout and acknowledging all the ways that we're trying to solve it. Right? We talked about how we're trying to find ease in our work in everyday life, and also navigating capitalism, like I already said, right? And so what are you doing, you're always on the move and going and doing right. And the fact that the only solution that capitalism and white supremacy culture offers us in terms of reaching our goal, while it's pushing us to join the rat race and bypassing our actual experience, right, not being able to have time to take care of ourselves or notice what we need. And so our energy is always focused on what's next. The next thing on the to do list. The next place to be even if you're actively in a place that you want to be doing The thing you want to do, you're actively thinking about what is next. And then you're waiting to address your needs when you feel like you have the time, or you reach the place where you can't wait any longer. I know as I've said, already, you want to balance your self care, your work your life, with the seasonal changes and doing things that you enjoy. But what happens is you're trying to piece together what you can daily or in snippets or on the weekends, or on a vacation in here, here or there, right? Because that's what you've got access to. But then you find yourself in that same cycle, year after year, over and over, feeling the same way depending on the season. So like winter, always feels like this spring always feels like that summer is this way, fall is that way over and over and over again. And so then that's where you find yourself repeating those same practices and cycles of living, you know, hoping that one day, it'll change or one day, you're going to find a better way. And often centering intensity over gentle and flexible, consistency, right? Because I know that you want to tune into what your body needs given the season, but you're finding that you may be caught up in what it feels like you may need based on cultural conditioning. And last week, we talked about all kinds of cultural conditioning and how that really plays into the decisions we make in the moment. Right, and so you may identify shit that like that stuff is running deep. And you're trying to resist the cycle. I know this, but it's hard given how mired in capitalism life is. And so you inevitably get caught up in the current of society, right as if society were a river and pulled downstream fast. You have a deep desire to care for yourself. But most likely, extremely limited bandwidth and capacity, time resources or support, to take care of yourself the way you want to. And so you're doing what you can when you can and hang on, until the next opportunity comes. You know, you want to do better for yourself. But you have a hard time breaking the cycle of caring for others, and disrupting first and caring for yourself second, and not like in a martyr way. It's just you so deeply care, that that's what you do. Right? You so deeply want a better way for people, a better existence for people and for yourself to and you're actively doing the taking care of others supporting others. But then your actual care, unfortunately, comes second. And so what happens is, you know, you're ending up caring from yourself from what's left of your energy rather than from your overflow from, you know, adding up all of that taking care of yourself. And then probably, you feel guilty for saying no to someone or enforcing boundaries, because of the care of your work. It runs so deeply, you're always connected and probably always doing and over committing. And so what happens with that, you know, you keep going and you keep saying yes. So then struggle is real with slowing down and learning how to rest and rejuvenate because the world is on fire. And when the world is on fire, and people you know, are actively being targeted, or you know, are actively being finding themselves in situations where their rights are being taken away. Or, you know, all the things I could go on and on naming the injustice is happening. And so the world literally feels like it's on fire. And so how can we stop is often the feeling. And so what happens is we end up using REST as the main rest of the sorry, sleep as the main rest practice, or maybe a morning or evening Pranayama or meditation session, like as a sustainer. For us in the morning. It'll be the sustainer for the day or in the evening. It may be to release the day, and then we just keep it moving. But the thing is, despite all of that all the things we're trying, it's not enough. Right. Do you find that? I know I do. But I need to be very clear that the reason that you're feeling is not enough is not because you're not trying hard enough is not that your efforts aren't enough or because you're not worthy enough or asking for too much or that you need too much. The reason your best efforts aren't working is because the system is designed for you to fail. And hear me when I say this it's designed To fail you.
I know I don't need to remind you of this. But I'm gonna say it anyway, because I feel called to capitalism and white supremacy culture are designed for a specific set and small amount of people to win and thrive, often alone and in very small groups. It's not for the masses, and surely not for people who are not closest to the proximity of power and privilege, like box bipoc And to s LGBTQIA plus and gender nonconforming folks. And I know you know this, right, I know, you know, this, when it comes to jobs and access to food and health care. I know you know this. But friends, when it comes to our self care, that is still that lesson, that real. That real situation applies here to self care, but we often don't realize it. And so despite your best efforts, this is exactly why your coping mechanisms aren't working. And they're actually not working for a bunch of reasons. And again, none of which are your fault. But I'm going to break them down here, right. So I said at the top of the episode, capitalism waits for no one, and it also cannot be kept up with period, try as we might, friend, we could not keep up with capitalism. And our efforts would be futile, they actually are futile, right? Continuing then to try to keep up with this with something that is designed for us to fail. And something that is not waiting for us, just burdens us. Let's talk about this more. One way it burdens us is that the going the doing the intensity, it just revs up our engine into overdrive. It has us going and doing all the things laser focus on doing anything, whatever it takes to succeed or move forward. Now you may not be trying to quote unquote, succeed or move forward in terms of, you know, dominant culture and the way it pushes like certain people, especially white people, sis het white men to like, go forward, no matter what step on people, as you, you know, make it to the top. Greed. I know you're not subscribing to that. So the way it shows up for disruptors is that we just run ourselves ragged, always going and doing right. So I want to be very clear that when I talk about these, the way capitalism and white supremacy culture pushes us in this gogogo mode, it does definitely look different for us disruptors, especially those of us who hold identities that are marginalized in this country, or this world, that looks different than the way other people move through the world for sure. So I want to be very clear here. But it still does, it is still very prevalent for us. And so what happens is when we are always focused on going and doing and moving forward and succeeding, and whatever our efforts are, if that's all we're doing is going and doing. It's going to limit the ability and the gift of being present. And I know we want this, oftentimes, when we're in it, like when we're in the going in the doing and the grind. We're not even aware often that it's happening like this in real time. And if we are aware of like not being present, sometimes it feels hard or impossible or unclear as to how to stop or change it. And then what happens when our engine is revved into overdrive, the quality of our work actually falls short of the mark, and our work becomes inefficient. Our relationships suffer when we're not present. And the benefit of good and meaningful experiences, especially the pleasurable ones, it doesn't last long. And so this revving into overdrive, this, trying to keep up with capitalism, it literally steals the joy and ease of being present. And ease is really important so as joy, but ease is a big factor in self care in simply just being right not being in turmoil, not being in turmoil as we move through the day trying to take care of ourselves. And so when it comes to this word and this practice of ease this way of being what happens is and this is, you know, my third point of you know, all of the, you know, reasons why our coping mechanisms isn't working or aren't working is because they've we're always going and doing if we are not present, then usually we don't have unintentional routine of self care or a strong foundation. And that causes us to then be reactive, or it's inconsistent with our self care, which is taxing, right, because having to figure out things in the moment all the time reactively like, oh, shit, it's lunchtime. I didn't even make my lunch or, you know, shit like, It's nine o'clock, and I'm still working, I didn't, you know, stop early, in order to go to bed, right? Like when you find yourself constantly kind of behind. Right, rather than having planned and prepared to be, you know, so that you have things in place ahead of time, especially when you're at low capacity and low bandwidth, it takes more energy to figure out what to do for yourself. And then it often has us reaching for things and doing things that one are blatantly not supportive at all, to doing things that seemed supportive in the moment but are actually dehydrating as in it takes away from us in the end, or taxing or three, it offers a quick fix, and puts a bandaid, quote unquote, a metaphorical bandaid on whatever issue or need that has arisen. But it doesn't affect the root of the issue or the need. And then the end, this reactive way of caring for yourself. It does more harm than good. And I want to be clear, you know, when I talk about being reactive in the moment, I want to be very clear that I'm not saying I'm not this is not the same as when you find out okay, like my stomach hurts. What should I do about this? And you're being inquisitive about this trying to figure out like, what caused it and how should you move forward? That's different than like I was saying before, when it comes to mealtime, you're like, Fuck, I didn't even realize like, where did all the time go? Or you're realizing shit. Like, you know, I didn't make space to work out today, or I haven't even paused or Oh, my God, I've had to pee for 10 minutes, and I haven't gone yet. You know, like, not having this foundation of what am I doing? What am I doing it? How am I showing up? That is well planned out and can be flexible. You know, that is different from always having to react in the moment to everything, or to most things. And this is different from you know, that being mindful and connected and saying to yourself, Okay, something feels off, what should I do about it? Right. And here's the thing, like what I talked, I just said something about being flexible, you know, meeting yourself where you are in the moment when something feels off. We live in a society, this is my fourth point where consistency the you know, the word consistency typically means doing the same thing, rather than adjusting a practice based on your needs, especially season to season, whether it's like season of your life or season of nature. Right? We often will, you know, eat the same thing, no matter what month or what time of year it is. Our sleep habits, you know, kind of stay the same morning routine may stay the same. Everything, right? We really like American culture especially. glamorizes. Consistency, consistency, consistency, same thing, right and pushing that with like intensity. But the thing is pushing intensity can often feel like it's not enough, right? Because it's like shit, like I'm doing this, I'm pushing as hard as I can, why am I not getting to the goal? I don't I feel better. Right? And also, it can feel overwhelming. And neither of those things are sustainable. But when we live in a society that pushes and celebrates being on all the time, and you know, in American culture, doing the same thing, exactly the same day after day, right, this term has actually become synonymous consistency has become synonymous with discipline. But the problem with this approach is that life is happening in real time, schedules, responsibilities, minds, feelings, and needs all change all of the time, and with the season. So our practices have to have the freedom to change or shift accordingly. Otherwise, we'll feel it we're battling life, battling time and battling ourselves most of the time, and this will lead inevitably to feeling like we're always just short of the mark, or completely overwhelmed in the effort to keep pushing. Now speaking of the season, this is my fifth reason as to why our coping mechanisms aren't working.
Each season has a unique energy and pace which can support or aggravate your inner energy. And the intensity and speed of capitalism prohibits your ability to tune into yourself and align your output according to the season. So if you're Pretty much walking around daily in a dysregulated or unsupported state and friends know that I say this not as judgment but as like, hopefully you feel seen if this is you because I know, this is me. You know, a lot of times if I if I let shit, you know, if I let capitalism kind of just take over when this season like if you're walking around dysregulated, you know, or in a state that's unsupported. When the season that is supportive to you to your inner energy rolls around, the support it will offer will only just scratch the surface of what you need. It won't be enough. On the flip side, when you enter a season that is aggravating for your energy and you're already in a dysregulated state, if careful attention is not paid to how you need to maintain balance, the ways and the depth of the way the energy of that season will add great aggravate your current state will be through the roof through the roof. And I bet you've heard the saying that says something along the lines of there's a season for everything. And when it comes to nature, it's true. Winters vibe is doorman and planning spring is tending to the soil. And beginning initial planting summer is more planting and some reaping with a little bit more intensity and heat and fall is the final reaping the cleanup the wind down. We see everything in nature adhere to this cycle animals, vegetation, the weather, especially in certain geographical locations, like here in New Jersey. And as humans we and our lives are no different. Yes, you can have consistency, you can have intensity and discipline, which I prefer to call devotion each season. But the essence of those factors of your consistency of your intensity of your discipline, needs to change season to season and how you meet yourself in that essence also needs to change. Because my friend, you are not a machine that can be turned on and just go without a thought you're not a Roomba. Hey, capitalism wants us to essentially function as machines. But that's impossible. And our effort in trying to is leaving us feeling unwell. So friend, hear me when I say this bypassing yourself, your knees and keeping your practices the same throughout the year, despite when you are your body, your being is calling out for something else, while doing the things as intensely as possible will just cause imbalance and disconnect you from your inner knowing from nature and from others. And I know you don't want that and you don't want it. And you want to change it. I know this. I hope I'm preaching to the choir. Because if I am good, and if this is new to you, and you're like yes, staff, Yes, awesome. I'm so glad you're on the train with me. My friends, unfortunately, the longer and harder we try to keep up with capitalism to intensely push forward with consistency and discipline. The cycle of trying and failing to keep up will lead to a perpetual cycle of burnout that will ultimately limit the amount of impact you can have in the long term. And again, you're then complicit in upholding a part of the very systems you're trying to dismantle. Right. We talked about how this is a hard pill to swallow, especially if you're given that middle finger. But the friend the thing friends is we have to interrupt the cycle. We cannot be disconnected from ourselves from others from nature. We are nature, our connection to one another doesn't have limits, right we as humans simply are connected. our well being is bound as Michelle Cassandra Johnson says what the system wants us to be connected disconnected from ourselves. The system wants us to be disconnected from others. The system wants us to be disconnected from nature. Because remember, capitalism white supremacy culture it is all about I us as in the haves and not the have nots, right the ones who are right good. All the things but here's the thing, my friends, and as you know from firsthand experience, centering the care of others and pushing against oppressive systems requires a lot a shit ton of energy. And if you're actively bypassing yourself instead of actively resourcing yourself, you'll only have depleted stores from which to give. You'll be giving from what little you have, which is the same storage you're feeding and fueling yourself from. But the math doesn't check out. Living requires energy and energy is used on an exchange something in and something out. If you're deep in output, you've got to be just as deep, maybe even more so in input. And remember, the input doesn't have to be time consuming. It doesn't have to be intense by society's standards or even cost money. It can be small actions that are very potent, like honoring your needs in the moment. So using the restroom when you feel the urge and not putting it off for a few minutes, like you know, after you do a bunch of other things, it could be eating your each of your meal. Eating each of your meals, you know, at the designated time, it could be shutting down work and you're outside of the house responsibilities an hour or two before bed, there are so many small things you can do that are really significant when you do them pretty consistently, consistently, even if they look differently every day. Hello, flexibility, right, they should change every day. But having that foundation for yourself and creating a boundary, where there needs to be in terms of the way you show up to yourself, or the way in which you allow life to get into the way the boundaries you have are going to be huge. For you to meet yourself with that care you need. And speaking of boundaries, there's so much to say here. Because capitalism's Go, go go and always on kind of nature in order to reach success is a surefire way to throw boundaries out the window. And how do we do this? Right? We eat lunch at the computer, we might skip lunch altogether. We may check emails or answer non emergency work calls after hours, we may say yes to something when we want to say no, I mean, it's so many things, you probably thinking of the ways this happens to you right now. And the thing is, you're doing these things because showing up to disrupt the shit that's wrong and harmful, right? All the systems, it takes work and time and hours. And this pressure is further complicated, complicated, and upheld by those with identities that are marginalized because of our conditioning to say yes, and do all the things you know for quote unquote, the opportunities or to make a difference, this is what it takes. But for fuck sake, friends, no boundaries are not upholding boundaries is depleting and further escalating dysregulation. Boundaries are necessary, you're not being selfish by creating boundaries. And nobody said you need to run yourself in the ground for the sake of disrupting.
I knew you know this. And I know you want to do better with this because and I'm coming to our last point without boundaries. without slowing down without pausing or resting beyond sleep at night or session of pranayama, or meditation, there's just not enough energy and space to regulate to regenerate and rejuvenate. And this keeps capitalism going strong and you completely depleted. So friend, enough is fucking enough. Let's be done with trying to win a losing system with the endless cycle of burnout and make a better way, a way that centers are deeply intentional and Mindful self care as our fuel for disrupting and dismantling in the world. And our shift to mass mutual reliance, a term I love and borrowed from Colin Vidal, an astrologer, you can find his hugely informative, incredible, hilarious teachings on IG. His handle is at queer cosmos and I'll include that in the show notes. This idea of mass mutual reliance is that connection to each other that connection to community care to community, right? If we use our self care as our fuel for disrupting and dismantling in the world and also fuel for shifting our ourselves to mass mutual reliance and our connection to one another is because we often think of self care something selfish, it's not and we also think it's something as like only self promoting and it's not when we take good care of ourselves when we are authentic when we are well resource that benefits everyone. And maybe it doesn't for those people who are selfish and greedy. But for us for the disruptors. It absolutely is community care. Now, my friends in last episode in the last week's episode, we got really curious about some initial thoughts that just might help us begin to interrupt the cycle. And I offered this disruption that now is the time to identify the cycles in your ear that just aren't working, determined small actions to interrupt the cycle and put some simple practices in place with flexibility to sustain you for through December 31. Because friend even though we're talking about spring, we I'm coming to you from a place of I want you and the decisions you make right now to be long lasting. So even though you are focused on spraying me I'm focused on all the way through to the Sun Have a 31st. Even if you've reflected on these questions last week, sit with them again and see what comes up. Because as your energy shifts throughout the day in the weeks, your answers are going to change too. And then I have two more points of inquiry to take this exploration a step further. And friends, they may feel a little zingy, which may be good or not so good, depending on how you're feeling today. So just want to give you that disclaimer. So here they are. I actually have three, how are you upholding capitalism and white supremacy culture, or the patriarchy or any other isms and systems in yourself care? Number two, where do you need to uphold or establish boundaries, in your self care? In any life practice, because remember, self care is not just eating sleeping, right? Self Care is literally every decision we make for our state involve less. Number three, how can you begin to meet yourself where you are right now, with gentleness and slowness, through this inquiry, and also through spring? Because friend remember, the big picture. Getting clear on all of this is essential to you interrupting the cycle of burnout, and remaining resource all the way through December 31. Period. Don't forget, in April, I'm hosting the spring sanctuary on Saturday, April 22. To do just this, interrupt the cycle and help you prevent the end of the year burnout from now we're not waiting till November. We are doing it now. So head to Steff gallante.com/spring for all the info to register friends, I can't fucking wait for this beautiful time together this virtual retreat. I've included the link in the show notes. And please stay tuned for next week's episode because we're gonna be breaking down what we are going to do to move forward and interrupt the cycle, surviving capitalism to gently renew and plan slowly, gently, tenderly, and just in case you can't wait until April 22. To hang out with me join me next Tuesday April 4 in the community circle at 7:30pm Eastern. This is our monthly space where we get paused we get quiet we turn inward with curiosity we create mind space, we connect to our collective breath, meditate and amplifier self care. It's here friend that you can put your baggage down for a little while and even leave some stuff that's not serving you and you can register for this 30 minute session at Steff gallante.com/community-circle sliding scale pricing is offered and is a free option. Until next time, my friend please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would those who are most precious to you. Whether that's a human animal, baby or plant. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the support and guidance I provided this episode. So feel free to reach out and share it I mean it reach out and share. If you've been loving the show, I would love it if you'd please share it with your nearest and dearest and also leave a review or rating my friend. You are a badass and you are enough now. Go be your favorite self. Be well
