2021-09-02-Patience (5 of 6) Patient Acceptance of Truth

2:57PM Sep 2, 2021

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

compulsions

patient

acceptance

true

truer

patience

attachments

truth

strong

hostility

feel

act

stay

clinging

wave

work

valuable

reactivity

react

point

So today is the fifth talk on patience and in offering and today's topic is that patient acceptance of truth or the acceptance maybe means the willingness, the openness, to stay close to the truth. So patient acceptance of the truth.

When I began this series, I introduced it by saying that I wanted to try to have the reference point for patience, for this discussion, not a directive that just, you know, from zero to 60, you should be patient without any other context, but rather that many of you have been meditating for some time and had been in Dharma practice for a long time. And so, the hope is that it has given you some reference point for a way of being that is satisfying, that is worthy of staying close to some way of being true to oneself true to life to and that is meaningful to stay close to. And then a recognition that as the mind, the heart departs from that gets involved in other things, other reactions, desires, attachments, addictions, aversions, resentments, hostilities, fantasies, fears, anxieties, commentary, complaining, all kinds of things in the mind does, that it's less satisfying than what we've tapped into. It's less meaningful is less true. And, and so to be patient, is not to overlay patients on top of our experience not to bear down and tighten up and not react. But rather patience is staying true. To what we know is valuable, is coming back and staying with it, staying close to what we know, as valuable, and not giving in to these forces of anger, resentment, impatience that that might come along. As Dharma practice deepens, so does the contact our contact with something that feels truer and truer, or contact with deep sense of peace and ease, happiness? Well being that can kind of well up from the inside, that's not dependent on the thing thing experiences in the world not dependent on on what happens around us with other people not help not this doesn't depend on getting a raise at work or winning the lottery or doesn't depend on you know, what other people do and but really seems to well up from the inside out. And it becomes something we carry with us a sense of well being, that ideally becomes strong enough, that we're not buffeted by the experiences around us. And we're not dependent on the world around us to behave in a certain way. You're not dependent on people to be a certain way. Because we carry with us the stability in this well-being. And so as a deepens and deepens, we become more clearly aware that what takes us away from it. And we become more clearly aware that this is true here. That being less selfish is a true thing. And so the patient's acceptance of these truths of these deeper well being this the value and not clinging, the value of not being hostile, the value of not being selfish, self centered, the value of nihil, clinging and holding on to things these kinds of things are seen as being true. So in Buddhism, this kind of truth statement are true, is less to do is not propositional truth so much, but rather the truth of how we respond to and be with whatever is happening in the world, that we don't be with it with clinging or hostility. We don't be with it by overlaying layers and layers of stories and commentaries and reactions and bias. And so the patient's acceptance of truth is difficult sometimes, they just stay close to the truth of non clinging stay close to the truth of it's not working worth getting involved in

ambition in buisiness, it's not worth getting so busy trying to save the world from all possible catastrophes that we're not going to be effective. The so to be sued to recognize that all kinds of things we recognize how we are, are not a useful good way of being. And to be patient with that a patient acceptance of that sometimes is the hardest for patients. Because what we're working with now is being patients where these inner impulses we have that that can be quite strong the conditioning, we have the, the attachments we have. And so to see that our attachments arise, and have the patience, acceptance of what's truer, so that we don't give into our attachments, to see that delusions arise in our mind and biases arise in our mind. And to see it with a kind of clarity that this is not true, true, what's true is not giving in to them, not being caught in them. And so it can be a tug of war can be kind of like wait a minute, you know, this is the this is how I've lived my life or this, I won't be safe if I don't act this way, or react this way. And so this patient's acceptance of the truth. And this goes deeper and deeper. And sometimes, some of the deeper acceptances of truth have to do with really being beginning to see how changeable how, in constant how impermanent this world we have as it is. And then that can be kind of frightening, it's kind of like we want some stability, where to hold on to something. And so the patient's acceptance of not holding on not clinging, in the middle of this world of impermanence. It can seem a little bit frightening. But we've learned over time that we we, you know, it doesn't really work to cling, it doesn't really work to hold on tight. It doesn't really work to resist the changing nature of this reality we live in, it doesn't work to try to keep yourself young, forever. And at some point, you know, we can't hold on our claiming we have to kind of accept a patient's acceptance, we're getting older patients acceptance of these kind of basic human existential truths that we some point or point to very close to directly to confronted and meet patients acceptance that we're dying, patients acceptance, that there will be loss, patients acceptance of, even with loss, that it's not worth getting, there's a ways of being that are simply not worth it. That the reactivity to that we normally would be we would have, and we're being patient, so we don't succumb to these ways of being that we know, we've learned, are not useful, not supportive. So in this way, what I'm pointing to is that we're learning to become our own reference point for practice, we're learning to recognize in ourselves what is valuable and which what it's valuable to stay close to. So that when it's time when we need to be patient with ourselves, it's because we know something valuable, we know something important. We've experienced it. And we might lose touch with it. But our memory still says wait a minute, I know that this reactivity I have is not the way forward. I think that I at least need to be patient to not give into it. The patient's acceptance of truth is the acceptance that it's not is the truth that this is not worthwhile doing. So I'm not going to say what I'm going to say what to say I'm not going to do what I'm feel compulsive to do. I'm going to be patient with this. And there are occasionally these acts of patience requires a lot of you know, effort. You know, say the pull to addictions can be so strong the pull of desires pull of hostility, the pull of things have to be different. And so it's okay to succumb to my anger or something like that are so strong. And one of the ways that one of the interesting things to do in being patient not giving into it

is to feel the strong component. Sit and be quiet, maybe a meditation, maybe sit down in the chair and feel this Strong compulsions arise and, and it might cut they might come with a whole army full of lawyers that tell you you have to act it has to be this way. But sit with it all, kinda like a rising wave until the wave has crested. And you find yourself in the back of the wave. And, and then decide what the wise thing is to do. But when you feel the compulsion to act or to speak, it's probably not the best time to do so. Because chances with compulsion, there is not wisdom, and you're not connected to something that you've learned is a valuable place to talk from or to act from a valuable place of wisdom from which to participate in this world of ours. So this idea of being patient with compulsions because we know something be truer. And we accept that. And so we don't act by the compulsion, and then ride the wave until you find yourself on the backside. And in the middle of these compulsions, it can feel impossible to wait that feels like it has to be now. But it's just a wave. It's just everything has its time, everything has a half life and will eventually pass away and to become confident in that truth, patient's acceptance of the truth, that all compulsions will pass, all attachments will pass, if we allow them to. And so learning how to be patient and not giving into them is, you know, is a gift for ourselves in the world. So a patient's acceptance of the truth. And so you might consider today, what have you discovered? That is more important, that's more true that you want to stay true to? What have you discovered? That's true. That teaches you what not to do, what not to say what not to react to. Not as not because you're in you're not gonna you're not, you're not avoiding reacting that way, you're speaking that way, as repression, but rather because, you know, the opposite is true that, that you lose yourself in the reactivity, that what's most true about yourself is is not found through that reactivity that can feel so compulsive. So what do you know, what have you discovered that's true? Before with buy, which are for which it's useful to have patience, acceptance. And, so thank you, and sorry, we have one more talk tomorrow on patience.