Part 1: Supporting Quality Play Relationships-Infants and Toddlers

2:26PM Apr 30, 2024

Speakers:

Narrator

Priscilla W.

Dr. Sue Starks

Keywords:

toddlers

kids

infants

noticing

adult

play

part

build

safety

hovering

senses

relationship

ready

physical

conversations

developmental

levels

preschoolers

programs

setting

Welcome to Inclusion Matters, a podcast about children's development from the Center for Inclusive Child Care.

Welcome to Inclusion Matters podcast from the Center for Inclusive Child Care. I'm Priscilla Weigel, the executive director and I am so honored today to be joined by a friend and colleague in the field. Dr. Sue Starks. She is professor of education and chair of the Early Childhood department at Concordia University, St. Paul. And a few years back, we were housed at Concordia and got to see Sue way more than we do now. But I'm so excited to have you with us, Sue, thank you for joining us.

Thank you. It's great to be here. It is kind of weird thinking that you guys were there, and then you're gone. But I'm glad we get to interact. On some important topics

Importaant yes, and play is probably one of, I know it's one of your personal favorites and I have to say it's one of mine as well, when you think about young children, and our first part of our podcast series, we're going to talk about infants and toddlers. And I think some people, when you say play in infants and toddlers in that age group, they might not realize how much we can do as adults in their setting to facilitate and support but not overwhelm their play. Would you agree

Yes, because I think the hard part is sometimes what at all levels of play, sometimes adults just kind of decide to take over. And that's a disservice to kids, because especially when they're really young, a lot of it is exploration and tapping into their senses. And with infants, and toddlers, all of that happens within the context of a relationship. So it's the relationship that they have to have with that adult, whoever those individuals are, that are significant adults in their lives. And that's really within the context of that bubble, where the play and the learning and the development really, really can take off. So it's really, it's the interaction patterns, it's our conversations, it's building those relationships, but within this you start with the whole attachment component. They have to be attached to somebody and there has to be that that emphasis on serve and return. I don't think that goes away with toddlers either. But that whole where they say something, not say something, because it's just it's cries and noises and things like that and babbling with little ones. But there's, there's a response from that adult to them. And that that joint attention that comes from that serve and return process of that back and forth of their googling, and then we're going to respond to that. And then that gets a little bit louder. And then we're going to respond to that. That's really the nature of play. And a lot of it is is language when kids are little, it's like language, appropriate play, and a lot of things that have to do with their physical development as well when they're really, really small. But if they're not attached, then they don't feel connected to an adult. There's, they can do some of those things, but doesn't go to the extent that it could if they're connected to an adult. So we have to as teachers within childcare centers, and programs have to realize that we are significant adults in the lives of those kids, as well as helping their families really realize that they're nurturing all that along in the context of that relationship.

Yes, oh, yes. And so as you're, you know, emphasizing how critical that is, what are some things that you tell your students, tell others in the field when you're speaking, and when you're writing articles or whatever? You know, what are some of the key components for that healthy attachment between caregiver and child in the early childhood setting, whether it's family childcare, or center based?

I think a lot of it starts with trust, just having them know that even with a little baby, they sense that feeling of can I trust this person? Is this person going to be there for me? And can I, if I veer off a little bit from them can do I know that they're still going to be kind of in my aura and kind of watching and listening and noticing what I'm doing. But then when I kind of have to have a little sense of security, can I touch back and kind of tag that person and then know that that person is going to be there and responding to them. So I think that whole that whole notion of just being that safe place for them to come to and to fall, and that you're really in the moment and noticing them so they see you looking at them and they they notice that you're listening to them. And when we talk about listening, it's like listening with our ears, but we also have to listen with our eyes with young children because that's a direct message to them of whether we're tuned into them or not. So just really being in the moment with them, watching them giving them space. If they come back to us that we're there to kind of engage and expand and extend but sometimes you're just kind of watching to see what it is that they're going to do. Always safety is a big huge for, a huge thing for little ones, but just kinda letting them be able to grapple with things and to kind of pull off and try things out. But they do tend to do that go off, but then I'm gonna come back because I need that same security, I'll go off and I'll do something and then I'm going to come back because I need to kind of check in. And as long as we're there. And I know that days are busy, and there's like lots of craziness that goes on within programs. And sometimes you can't do that to the 100% that you want to. But as much as you can just really be in the moment and be there for kids and to be an active interactive part of their process. But that builds trust, they, they know that we're there for them, when they know that they care for us, they know that they can count on us. And as they get older that that doesn't go away that that need for trust in a relationship still continues. But with little ones, it's just you're just building those foundations. And I think that's critical

Sure And also when you and going back to your point about safety, too, that's a big issue. And hopefully, in the settings that we're providing care in, we've taken the time ahead of time, before the children arrive before they're in that space to set up the environment in a way that allows for what you're describing that safe exploration of young children so that they can go out and explore but then check back, go out and explore. And it's not. It's not this kind of hovering. You know, I think you said it early on our conversation, you're just letting children take the lead and letting them be kids and play. We have, it's a fine line, though, especially with infants, I think in toddlers, because you are so concerned about safety, and about the choices they're making, I think it's easy to get caught in the hole, I have to be really, I have to be this bubble of safety around you, which can sometimes show kids that things are unsafe and scary. And then that might deter them from exploring.

How do you how do you? What do you suggest to that?

I think you are going to have a lot of that because you have different personalities and different temperaments. And some kids are just go getters from you know, from infant toddler all the way on they they're just it's almost like just trying to just try to hold me back is kind of their attitude. But I think we have to try not to hover, safety is a big thing, but we also have to let kids explore. And I think if we set up the environment to the best of our ability, so that things are safe, things are developmentally appropriate for the age level and the developmental level of kids. I think that's important. I think sometimes with what you're talking about the hovering, especially with toddlers, when they're just kind of embarking on that ability to try to use climbing apparatuses to the preschool level, but, but I think there's some kids are very able to do those things. And some kids aren't, we have to really, really know our kids so that we know, okay, this one really probably does need like a crash helmet and safety's, and this one is probably okay to do it on their own. So I think differentiating how we interact and the responsiveness and the things that we allow kids to do based on what we know about them is important. But we we can't always be just hovering and being there, like ready to catch them. I mean, if some sometimes maybe that's a good thing. But they they learn, I think resilience, and they learn to keep kind of trying at different things if they feel again, they're connected to you, you're there so I have you in case something goes wrong, but you're also going to allow me to try out different things. Now, temperament wise, some kids aren't going to do that. And that that's, that's okay. But if you have those little go getters, again, I think just keeping things that are tied directly to the individual nature of that particular child, rather than saying for this whole group of kids in this infant program, or this toddler program, these are the, like hard and fast rules that work for all of them. Because we are holding kids back sometimes when we're aren't aren't allowing them to do what they're able to do.

Oh, yeah. And that makes me think of just even how we set up routines and how, you know, we are trying to be responsive to their physical needs each day, which in the infant room, that's really what it's all about is meeting those physical needs. And then as they start to become a little more ambulatory and they start to move around a little bit more, then we're doing more of the maybe setting the toy a little bit further away from them and they have scooted over. We're noticing, you know, back to what you were saying we're noticing with our eyes and our ears, they're looking at one of their peers they seem interested in and that's their beginning of interaction. Yeah. And so can you talk a little bit about how fostering those connections can really help a child develop some play skills even in infancy

I think was like really really little ones, the they do notice a lot more I think than we then we give them credit for and they are sometimes watching other individuals sometimes try to move closer to the individual they sometimes when they're l, right side by side, you know, they'll take things from each other, which I mean, I always think it's like the the beginning of negotiation and communication that that's gonna start us up for a lifetime. But I think when, when you're there, you're all automatically providing, again, if you think in terms of so you got two little ones that are right next to each other, and someone has like a little a little rattle in their hand, and another one kind of reaches over and grabs it, that you're, you're beginning to plant the seeds of the language to just say, You know what, like, Katie wasn't done with that yet. Let's give her this back. And then let's find something else for you to play with. But that if they're noticing the same thing, and they're interested in the same thing, I think building on that and feeding that language in the conversation, the process of what they're doing, they kind of learn that camaraderie. And it even with, it's amazing, I think with with infants, how they already kind of know, like, these are my little friends. And these are the people that I hang with. And they they know who's here and who's doing what and where they're going. And if something looks interesting, and they're mobile, they're often running to over to where somebody else is doing something, or they hear like a noise that someone's making over there. And even when their, maybe you've got a mobile one, because that's always with infants, you always have these little teeny ones that are not mobile at all. And then you have the older ones that are kind of like, on the go all the time. But they're they're just always watching you. They're always listening. And I think anytime that we can kind of break that down just to say, Hey, I see you looking at, you know, Joey over there doing whatever, whatever I see, you're looking at Susie over here doing this, and would you like to do that too. And maybe if they're not mobile, move them over to that area, so that they can be in that space where something is going on that caught their eye and caught their attention, maybe they want to stay there, maybe they don't, but at least at least giving them that outlet. But so much of it to me goes back to noticing kids and really being in tuned into kids, if you're if you know kind of who they are, where they are developmentally, what they're able to do the physical thing is always a big thing that feeds right back to the safety thing. Because if it's physically going to put them in, in a position where it isn't safe for them, we have to be thinking about that. But when all those things are kind of taken, taken care of within the environment, then I think we just have to be in the moment with kids as much as we can and just kind of feed those processes along with them. But so much within early childhood programs, in general, the environment is really the curriculum. So it's the people that are in that environment. It's the interactions and the conversations that take play. It's the playing and the reading, and the singing, and all those things that are building that language, It's the materials that we have that are there for them, because of the developmental stage that that they're at, it's knowing their physical abilities to say, these little ones need tummy time, these little ones are kind of doing that low rocking motion. So let's give them something and extend it a little bit, put it out so that they have to do the physical component to get up there. If they're starting to stand on things, giving them safe things to be able to stand on and walk along or to start to push and walk behind. So just knowing your kids and knowing all the developmental levels that they're at, and then being an engaging responsive partner in their play, in their conversations. And again, with little ones, you're feeding so much of that language. That's that's really our role as how I see it.

And I'm, I'm glad you brought up environment, because that is as you said, that's really the curriculum that is everything's built on. And we are there as the adults to fill in the blanks for the young ones that don't have the words. And so you were giving some great examples of that. When you think about materials in that early childhood space, specifically for toddlers and infants. What are some things that really stand out to you as key to be part of that environment? I mean, you mentioned a few of them in just different things that you said in the last few minutes. But I'll let you highlight some of some of those key pieces.

To me , books is always a big one because I'm like a complete literacy person. So I think that like like books, because even with infants, they'll they start to bring over the favorite ones that and maybe in our mind intelligence, same thing, because when I go into the toddler room on campus, you can't get you sit in there on the floor. And within 60 seconds, there's a kid that's bringing you a book that they want you to read. And yes, a lot of times it's the same book over and over and over again. But I think that goes back to that relationship and that attunement, that we have to make sure we're going to read that book for the 80th time today. And it's going to be the best thing that we've ever shared with them. And we're going to be really, really excited about sharing with them. But I think books are a huge thing. I think motor things that both infants and toddlers, because even if they're inside they have to have that ability in those outlets to be able to use their physical selves that they're just kind of growing into and figuring out what they can and cannot do. So just saying that, well the only time we're gonna do movement things is when we're in a gym space or when we're outside, that doesn't really work for those really young kids because they spend a lot of times in kind of their home room so there have to be physical outlets for them. Again, things that are going to tag along to all those developmental levels. I think anything that invites their senses, so things that they can touch, and that have texture and things that they can listen to, I'm not a huge fan of things that are just make a lot of noise and do a lot of things for kids, because I just think that that's more of an entertainment value and in a in a way, but the kids aren't really getting that much out of the process. So I think just hands on things, but you think about, like things that squish and make noise and that that have, like, a sensory feel to them things that they can smell, things that they can kind of like walk on or crawl on in just anything like that, to me, is like sensory things. But then I think they also have to have things that are good for fine motor and things that are good for their large motor. So things that stack and things that build things, they can put things into ramps, they can, you know, push cars, cars down,on. I think creative things that are not set in stone that are really just allowing them to use materials in the ways that they want to. And I think that goes back to noticing them too. Because sometimes, especially as they get into that toddler stage, they start using materials that we maybe had put them out thinking that they were going to do this with them, but then they turn it in a whole different direction and do something different. And following their lead and noticing what they're doing again, and then saying, hey, you know, what, if we add this is this gonna give them another outlet and extend their play? I think that, again, is being that kind of co-partner in play really, really helped both of those age levels.

One thing that I I'm thinking of too, is, is providing, and you mentioned this, in just other conversations that we've had, you know, appropriate challenges for kids, allowing them the opportunity to fail or get frustrated somewhat, but we're there as that adult, once again, secure base, that safety net. So setting kids up for opportunities to have kind of those next level challenges. Do you know what I'm getting out there,

I think is really important because our world and we all know this as we grow, that challenge of frustration doesn't go away. And we all make mistakes. And we're all going to have to learn from those things. So I think starting that process out early, and kind of helping them realize that you go I go back to growth mindset and like, versus a fixed mindset. So even even with infants and toddlers, we can start kind of giving them those foundational skills for having a growth mindset so that I tried this and maybe it was an epic fail and it didn't go, assuming its teachers, it didn't go the exact way that I thought it was gonna go. But then they can try it again. And I think that's when you think about infants and toddlers, revisiting those experiences that maybe you thought the child was ready for it, and maybe they weren't to a certain extent, but not all the way, then we wait a little while and then we revisit that experience. And we kind of build that in again, we can't just say because they didn't find success at this particular moment in time that all learners weren't ready for that we're just gonna leave because we don't want them to fail. We have to again, re expose them to that, again, be there so that we're that center, and we're that support person for them, and then just kind of help them build that perseverance and to build that stamina to keep going and the more exposure they have what that within the context of that relationship where they just really, really feel like, hey, you know, I can try this. And I can do this. And they'll find success with it, not with everything. But everybody doesn't find success with everything. But I think that whole notion of helping them from very, very young ages on, know that mistakes are part of a process of learning. And that that's really how we learn and how we grow. So I think we can model that. And I think we can just by noticing what they're doing kind of build in times for them to expand and extend. And then if they if they mess up with things, then so be it, we build it and we use it as a teachable moment.

Truly. And you know, what I'm thinking is to as we kind of wrap up part one on infants and toddlers, and we're going to do a part two with you soon, that's going to focus on preschoolers in play. But when you think about if you were setting up a space for infants and toddlers to really thrive throughout their day, would you build in a lot of structure? I know we've had conversations about what do toddlers need. You know, do they need a calendar? Do they need all those group times and long group times? And so if just in our last few minutes on this, this one, what would you say, oh, man, this would be the best day ever for a toddler or an infant if these components would be part of that time.

I think in terms of infants and I can't say I laugh because it kind of makes me harder. But when you go into programs where they have almost a scripted curriculum that's given to an infant teacher, I just my mind does not wrap around that because how do you say we have these little kids that are six weeks to you know, 18 months of age And they're all going to be super excited about learning about plants this week. And, and but these, these teachers in these programs are kind of given these things. And I don't, we can't plan for kids, the developmental range is too wide, we have to just give them open ended experiences and lots of unstructured time and space, again, to be in the context of a relationship and just to learn and grow. Toddlers, I will say drives me absolutely nuts, because we have a tendency to a lot of times water down preschool curriculum so that we feel like well, they're just a little bit younger. So if we just, you know, make this a little bit easier, we can just kind of follow suit what that for toddlers, they don't, toddlers don't need to practice calendar and don't need to practice like organized group times, so that they'll be ready for those things for preschool, they just need to be allowed to be toddlers, and I've been in programs where they are trying to rotate toddlers through stations and I'm like toddlers were not really born to rotate. So I think we have to just, again, open ended. There has to be a routine for kids, but I think within that that structure, there also has to be fluidity so that we can kind of follow their lead and allow them to be kind of who they are. And they're, they're very, very young, they're, they're into their senses, they're into exploring, they're into doing they're, they're going to do a lot of messy mistake things that are part of their processes. But I think we embrace that. And we allow them to be an active part in that. But that whole notion of getting kids ready. So getting infants ready to be toddlers and getting toddlers ready to be preschoolers and so forth, I think is if we lose sight of some of what kids really, really need at those developmental levels, where we're always getting them ready for the next thing. It's like, why why can't they just be one and two and three, and four and five, and really embrace all that that is about, that they're being at that developmental stage and at that kind of month mark of of their of how old they are, and just allow them to be kids. So I just I think that answered your question, but I don't know.

I think so too. Well. And I love that thinking, you know, and I've said this many times to you, we don't get to do over for childhood, you get to do it once you get to be to one time. And so why not let kids just revel in the being two and enjoying those moments. Well, Dr. Sue Starks, thank you for our time in part one with just focusing on infants and toddlers and the development of their play in ways we can foster it. I look forward to having you back for part two.

Thank you so much. It was fun to be here.

And if anyone is looking for, any of our listeners are looking for more resources on this age group or other ideas related to healthy quality care, and development for young children, you can go to our website inclusive childcare.org Or just reach out to us we also love to hear from you.

Thanks for listening. For more resources, visit us at inclusivechildcare.org