Perhaps not any old podcast but maybe if you have the help of a professional matchmaker love may be drifting on the airwaves for you. I'm Talia. And I'm Becca and welcome to lovestruck daily. I'm in love with you. To you. Good to see you. I'm in love with you.
I am Talia Goldstein. I'm the founder of three day rule matchmaking. We are a personalised matchmaking company. We work one on one with clients. And we get to know them really well and we set them up with high quality matches.
I'm Becca Klein. I'm a matchmaker and date coach with three day rule. And today we are working with our lovely Ashley. She has the most infectious personality, smile, laugh all the above. She's outgoing, personable, and we are just wanting to find her great guy.
Hey, Ashley, how's it going?
It's going well, I'm excited to be here today. Thank you for having me.
It's good to see you. So what part of La Are you in?
I'm in West Hollywood. I love West Hollywood. used to live there. So fun. Oh, fun. Yeah,
it's a perfect place to live when you just moved to LA.
Totally. Exactly. Yeah, it's yeah, it's great. I am currently in the Cayman Islands.
How's the weather,
it's nice, definitely humid, which I forgot about. Since being in California. I had a trip this past weekend back to I'm from the East Coast. So back to North Carolina. And somehow it was cheaper to fly out of the country into the Cayman Islands. And then back to LA. So I don't really know how that worked out. But I lived in the Cayman Islands last year, for a year. So that's kind of my connection to here. But yeah, so I'm outside like on my friend's back porch right now. And it's very nice. So hopefully the chickens don't start getting too crazy.
But it'll be a nice conversation starter.
Exactly. It's like if you hear screaming, it's not me, it's the chicken.
So we have an amazing match Jeffery today, and we kind of thought he was a good match for you for a couple of reasons. What we know of you is you have a bubbly, bright, outgoing personality, you are easy to talk to you just radiate joy and energy. So you really have this zest for life. And we want someone who matches that for you and bring some of that to the table as well. But can also balance out the self proclaimed romanticised or that you have inside of you that kind of you know, leans towards big gestures and wanting the big the big moments of love, and oftentimes feels disappointed. So in comes Jeff, that's kind of why we chose him for you. So you guys share actually a lot of similar qualities. He too is outgoing, he is very personable, so easy to talk to very optimistic outlook on life. So you guys share what we consider to be core personality values. And things that are important in the way that you perceive life, where we think he can really balance you out, is he tends to be a little bit more of the grounding force. So that of relationship history, and Jeff was in a long term relationship and did about two years ago, he's taken the time to process he's pretty open about it. So he's someone who's done that internal work on himself, he kind of knows what he's looking for. And at the same time, he has an open mind and an open heart and is really ready to meet somebody new. So we feel like that part of him would be a good balance to the romanticise there and that he, you know, has a bit of that himself, he wants love, he's looking for that in the same way you are. And he can maybe take it at a slower pace that is a little bit more consistent, and, you know, bring the joy and the excitement, but at the same time, the consistency that we're looking for in a longer term relationship. So we really view you as kind of the free spirit, the outgoing, you know, Energizer Bunny that is going to bring the light and energy and joy. And we really see him as kind of the grounding Rock who can grounded the relationship and again, has that joy and zest for life, but at the same time, won't maybe go for the big spark moments and kind of go for the more subtle ones that make you feel seen and heard and special and safe in a relationship.
And on that topic. We know that you are a hopeless romantic, but I just want to remind you, Ashley, that this is not like the movies. This is not like romantic comedies and Disney fairy tales. And actually, it's best not to have those crazy butterflies on the first date. But we You found in a couples that we've matched successfully is typically the ones that go on to get married, come back to tell us that they felt at ease, they felt at home, they felt comfortable, the best version of themselves. So that's really what we should be looking out for. It's just how you feel in the day and seeing if you feel comfortable in Jeff's presence. I also encourage you not to go too deep in your head on the day like we don't have to analyse a piece your future husband or the father of your children, or if he's going to be good in bed, that is information that we do not need, right now we can analyse that later. So for now, your job is just to go into the date and be present and have fun and get curious. And that's it. And so I encourage you to bring out that playful personality that you have your you can talk about things that you're passionate about, which likely is work and interests outside of work. If you end up on the subject of work, you know, try to move past it pretty quickly. It's hard to have a romantic connection if you're only talking business. So you're welcome to bring it up. But let's not stay on that topic too long. And try to keep it pretty light not to go into heavy topics on the first few dates. And it should really feel like a ping pong match. So you ask a question, he asked a question. And the question should be more open ended. So instead of Do you have siblings, which is a yes or no answer more like tell me about your family? Or tell me about the last trip you took something. So the two of you can tell stories and have more of a conversation and yes or no answers. So that's it. I really have fun. And we will debrief after the date and that's where we can figure out what the next steps are. But in the moment, just be yourself and be present.
That was super helpful. Advice to hear because I was already going into my head so awesome. That sounds great.
Okay, we're gonna set the stage for the state. We've ordered you both Postmates I know yours has already arrived. Ashley. I know this is a virtual date. But let's pretend you're together and a cute restaurant enjoying a lovely brunch together. Welcome to the show.
Hi, Ashley. It's nice to meet you.
Hi, Jeff. Nice to meet you.
Okay, so are you do you already have your brunch? I'm curious about what you ordered.
I do I have my brunch? My brunch is a taco salad. So you know, okay, very interesting. Very Brunchy obviously, yeah,
very Brunchy do you usually go for the savoury over the sweet then if you had to
choose Ah yeah, I would say I'm definitely more of a savoury person. I was just talking with some friends yesterday about our like, ideal brunch order system like how we like to work through brunch, so I would say I'm more savoury What about you? Oh, I'm
totally more savoury like 100% more savoury like I will really really crave pancakes or something like on occasion like I have to have pancakes right now on like a normal like we're going out kind of thing it's a Sunday like today I got the sorrel rice bowl from squirrel and that's just like yeah like bacon pesto rice eggs, like I usually just want to eggs in the morning more than anything into the if it's the am it's still the morning like that's still breakfast I have until noon to just eat breakfast. Exactly. And then after then honestly like I don't really place judgments on it. But yeah, I love like savoury breakfast food.
savoury breakfast is the best Are you like a when it comes to like breakfast sausages? Are you like a link sky or like a round like patties?
Wow, that's an interesting question. I mean links probably because I feel like it's what I get like at dinner. Like every time I asked her sausage, that's what I get. So I don't even think about the choice that much. Like if it's the same meat, is that just a texture thing? Am I just like picking my form? Because if I'm just picking a form, then yeah, I'll just stick with the links. You know, I liked the licks. You can just eat those. You can pick them up with your hand you can do whatever you want.
Exactly. That's true. Any food is finger food if you try hard enough, that's my smell.
But it's nice that they're shaped like french fries, you know? Or like mozzarella sticks or something. Yeah, it's very difficult. Yeah, so shoot. I am so hungry. I cannot wait for this to get here. Oh my gosh. All right. But Ashley, tell me like you live in LA or around LA like what do you do?
Yeah, so I live in LA. I moved there just before Christmas of last year. very new, very fun just to Really? I love it, though. It's amazing. And I'm in like the West Hollywood area. So all of that fun stuff. And
do you go like out there? Are you been going out out? Like on the weekends there?
I would say I've been out maybe three times. Since moving. I lived overseas before moving to LA and I went out, like all the time there. So I feel like now I'm in my like, detox phase. Oh, for sure. For sure. Yeah. If someone's like, Hey, we're all going out, then I can be convinced. But I definitely. My weekends are a bit more chill now. So yeah,
I find myself going the exact same way. But it's just because of the pandemic. Like it's like the sharp divide between like, I was going out all the time. Every weekend, generally, maybe a brunch, you know, just whatever. If somebody invited me, I was probably gonna go. And that would be like two or three nights in a weekend. But then, you know, everything happened, everything shut down for a while. We had to learn how to, like entertain ourselves in our own homes for a while. Yeah. And then even when Yeah, I remember it was weird, because I remember when things opened up, I thought I was just gonna be like, I don't know, I was gonna dive in. Like, there's just gonna be like this crazy, like, 100% I'm gonna go insane. Like, I've been such. I have to go to every club, I got to do everything. And that didn't happen, like at all. Like, it actually took me like, I feel like months after everything open to even like start being like, okay, like, I'll go out like, once a weekend or something. Yeah, you know, sometimes it's like, I'm a very, very social person. But you know, you think like, Damn, you know, like, I really could just finish the show right now tonight. And like, I can talk to them later. It's not the end of the world, right? Like, I used to think like, Oh, I'm not gonna see them for a whole week. That's crazy. But it's just been getting older. You know? You're kind of like, yeah, like, you can just talk again later. You can just put it off. It's fine. Take some time for yourself.
Exactly. Would you say that you are more like an introvert or an extrovert when it comes to just like, daily life?
Absolutely an extrovert. But that's why like, oh my god, I think that's my order calling. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. From Abby. Perfect. Okay. We're gonna we're gonna don't have that conversation point. Right there. Perfect. Pause. I will be right back. We're gonna pause it right there
Dan, we're back. Talk with slide in. There. Excuse the poor lighting. I'm still designing the studio space a bit. And okay, yeah, and action. We're back. Yeah, all I was saying was that yes, I am an extrovert. Once you get me out, I'm out. I love it. I love people. I love I'm a good time. But I think it wasn't like my personality changed or anything because of the pandemic. But I found myself enjoying solitude more than I ever had before. I think before I was like, I didn't want to be alone a lot of the time. And now I'm like, you know, I can enjoy moments where I'm like learning something today, like I'm learning a new skill or something, or I'm reading more, and those are like solitary activities. And I think I'm starting to enjoy those more. Yeah, but what about you?
I would say definitely an extrovert. Everything I do is always around people. But I would agree with you. I think, I think the pandemic definitely, I guess, like sped up the process that I was maybe realising before the start of it, of like, the, like, how good it is to have quality time, like with yourself and like you said, like learning new skills and like reading new books, and those are things that typically you just do like, by yourself. So yeah, I feel like, through the pandemic, I really dug into that. And now I would agree, like I also am like, oh, yeah, like, like, even now I have one day a week where I literally don't make plans. I don't talk to anyone, like I literally just like, stay at home and like clean my room or read or just like watch TV or whatever I feel like doing and it's like, halfway through the day. I'm like, Okay, I think I do kind of want to be around people like I'll let myself do stuff, but I like to have one day where it's just like, I don't have anything planned. This is my day to recenter or whatever I need to do however I'm feeling and yeah, I definitely value that and even I'm like on vacation right now. Like I realised I really do value that alone time like having people always around and always coming up to me like what do you want to do now? Let's do this. Like I'm like, Oh, God, this is a lot.
Oh my gosh, okay, so are you vacationing with uh, are you vacationing with a big group?
No, it's just me. But I have been staying with friends. And so we'll have like all of our friend group like from when I lived in that place or wherever, like come over. So it's like everyone's there to like See me and hang out. And so everyone's like, let's do this. Let's do that. What are you doing? To do? Why your headphones? And what are you listening to like? TV? I know. But yeah, so it's been pretty good. But that definitely made me realise like, Oh, I do value, being able to just wake up in my room and take my time and do whatever and not have people jumping on me and dogs on me. And everyone's like, Let's hang out right now. So
let's say yeah, yeah, that's why I was asking you about the vacation with a group thing. Because that's, that's the thing that when everybody's trying to figure out what to do, and it's like, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are you gonna do? And that exam is a lot of energy, like, especially if you're the driving force, sometimes, like, I have found that like, depending on who the group is, when I've gone like, I don't know, Europe or something. It's like, nobody knows what to do. And I'm like, we have to do something guys. Like, I'm just like, I feel like I have to be the driving force and organising people. And then I like, like, Yeah, I think I travelled, I travelled once by myself, finally. And then he like, changed my entire perspective on it. Because I was like, I have no pressure. Like, that's the thing. It's pressure. I've no pressure to do anything at this moment. Like, I could stay in this hotel all day. But obviously, I'm not going to do that. But I can just choose when I go out and do the things that I want to do.
No, I've never done like a solo trip. I've always done a trip where it's like, maybe I'm travelling, like solo to get to somewhere. But I'm like meeting people there stuff like that. I've never done just a trip where it's just me out and about. So that's really awesome that you've done that.
I would tell everybody to do a big thing by themselves. Not even like travelling around the country. But you know, a two day hike or something, you know, I don't know. It's It's magical. That's magical. Where are you on vacation? Well, if you don't mind me asking. So yeah,
so I'm from the East Coast, originally North Carolina primarily. And then I moved overseas to the Cayman Islands. I lived there for a year working. And then after I finished my work permit there, I ended up moving to LA so I am back on the east coast this weekend. I was in North Carolina for a couple days. And then now I'm currently in the Cayman Islands. And then I'll be coming back to LA this afternoon.
Wow. Okay, so I'm curious. Those are three entirely different climates. What do you like more? You know, do you would you rather just be constant heat, or do you want seasons
basically, I love LA's climate the most because there's no humidity. So I like have my best like hair days and life on the West Coast. I think because of that. So definitely LA's climate, I would say the Cayman Islands are less humid than North Carolina right now, which is surprising. But how that's the case. So I am not as hot here as I was in North Carolina. But it's still humidity. So I'm like,
Yeah, humidity heat is so different. Like I was because I grew up I learned up in Southern California. My whole life. I grew up like an hour south of LA. moved to LA like a 1010 years. Yeah, it's been about 10 years ago. And yeah, I guess I just always thought this is what he is. I think I just grew up being like, desert heat is the heat. And then I go to New York for the first time and I'm like, Oh, this sucks. I'm sweating. As soon as I walk out the door. I have to shower three times a day. This is absolutely now it's raining right now. I was already wet. You know, I was already wet. But now it's raining. So who cares? It's a warm rain. Like whatever. I will just slop slop slop by walking through. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's funny, because I've lived here my whole life. And I've had a lot of moments where I was like, I'm gonna move to New York. You know, you just think that, you know, I really like to move to New York, it would be cool to change it up. I love the city. I visited it for about a month straight. So it was like, just enough time in my head that I was like, I know what it would be like to navigate in the city. But it was during the summer when I visited that. I'll always think about it. And that's not what held me back other than me back, but I like I would be a big baby like I'd be a baby in the winter when it's too cold because I don't like the cold. I'd be a baby in the summers. Have you too sweaty? I like bundling up in the winter and all that like there's something comforting about it. But if it was like, I mean it is La summer is all the time kind of but yeah. If summer was all the time and nice, just beautiful beach weather all the time I'd be in heaven.
Yeah, I didn't realise until I was texting my friends. And I was like, Okay, what's the weather gonna be like, this weekend? They were like, Oh, well, it's been raining like every day for the last like two weeks and I was like, standing in LA like on Third Street or something. And I was like, Oh, I forgot about rain and it's really sunny here and I don't want to go back to the rain like, and I was like, okay, yeah, I think I like the West Coast weather better. But thankfully it's only rained like twice since I've been here and both times. Like we were just inside doing stuff. So it was like rain and now it's gone. Awesome. There was like a thunderstorm this Morning, which scared me a little bit. I've forgotten about those as well. But yeah, definitely, definitely west coast. New York would be Yeah, I never want to be in New York in the summertime. I feel like that I would die.
It's pretty it was. It's pretty rough. It's pretty rough. I want to ask because you've only been in LA for a little bit. So you know, relatively speaking like, what's the most la thing you've done? Like stereotypically LA, but you don't? Have you done any stereotypically la thing since you've been here?
Hold tight. We're gonna be back in just a moment after this short break
what's the most la thing you've done? Like stereotypically la fit? You? Don't? Have you done any stereotypically la thing since you've been here?
I would say like stereotypical la thing that I've done so recently Erawan had the like Haley Bieber smoothie that came out. And my Yeah, it was pretty good. My friends were super obsessed with it. So they got it like so many times. I just had it the one time and I had it a we were like sitting outside drinking it. And I was like, honestly, like, yeah, it's not too bad. I was like, but I think my favourite like smoothie collab of the year has been like the earth bar like mad, happy collaboration earlier in the year. So I would say that that's probably the most like, stereotypical like LA thing that I've like said or done since being there like keeping an eye on smoothie collaborations and reading them.
I wanted to, as soon as you said smoothie collab, as soon as you said the words, that's when I wanted to scream. That's the most la thing. You said it was like so on point. I was like, Yeah, you're talking about smoothie clubs. Like over here, they're talking about collabs you know, music collabs now we're talking smoothie. collabs at Erawan. You didn't see that enthused about it. Was it actually that good?
It was okay. I was like, this is a $17 smoothie. I believe it's it was fine. But the earthworm not happy. It was only $12. And it was blue. And they put a little strawberry on your straw. And it was it was better. So
sorry, it was better. put more effort into the presentation. And that's important. If there's anything we care about it's frickin presentation. Exactly.
Yeah, I think I got that smoothie, like, more times than I can count for sure. before it went away. So that one definitely favourite. So we'll see. It's only halfway through the year. So there might be some other contenders that come out. So we'll have to see
you have fully embraced smoothie culture in LA. Now I have taken classes like any, any SoulCycle any hot yoga, that's the real la vibe there, because I've tried all of them never committed, but I've tried.
I recently have taken my first SoulCycle class like I've only done, I think two classes so far, one of my co workers, she goes pretty religiously, and so she'll text me and she'll be like, hey, there's a Beyonce ride or like, hey, there's a 80s, whatever. And so I'll be like, Okay, I think I can go into that. But it actually was fun. I was kind of intimidated, because SoulCycle has such a like, I don't know, like reputation that precedes it. I was like, Oh God, this is gonna be scary and intense. But I've done like other rhythmic themed, like spin classes, and it felt just like that. So I was like, oh, okay, I was scared of this for no reason. What's been your favourite like, class that you done?
I think I was also surprised by spin. Like I said, I only tried it out like twice, but I think I was also like, this is gonna be dumb. This is gonna be weird. This is gonna be just like it I just didn't think it was gonna even be like that much of a workout and all this other stuff. I don't know. I had a lot of preconceptions about it. And I was like, Wow, this like, this beat my ass. This was great. This was a lot of fun. The music was great. The okay, it was actually funny. The class I liked the most was what I I almost did on a dare because it was with it was with an old it was like this was years ago, years ago with an old girlfriend and her her she like lived like on like the kind of the border of Beverly Hills and her mom always went to these classes. And she's like, Oh, I go to my mom these classes, but she didn't say what kind of class it was. And I was like, I don't want to go I'm not gonna hang out with all the Beverly Hills moms right now, but at the same time, I also thought it would be really funny to hang out with the Beverly Hills moms. So I ended up going with her and her mom and it was a bar class and a bar class Yeah, and that so like a lot of flexibility so much flexibility that I'm just the least flexible person imaginable. I am the least flexible person ever up too tall to tie and I'm just like, they're put on me to put my legs on the bar. They're telling me to do all these things. And I'm just dying like I was and you could tell that the teacher like really got a kick out of this. He was like this just this little little lady being like, oh, right now Jeff, she'd always singled me out because I'm Just the one guy who's like, in his 20s. And they're like you, you can really do it, I believe and you just get your leg over. And then she's like, try to push my leg over and I'm like, please stop that keeps hurting, that's hurting, that's hurting, please stop. And all the moms are doing great. Britain. I'm dying, like I'm dying. I'm in pain, I'm sweating. But it was like one of the best workouts I've had in like 45 minutes. I was like, like, shocked about how much it like stretched me out work to be out there push ups and stuff, too. So it's such a stretch to just push ups and all this other stuff. So you are like working out. It's just none of the moms are breaking a sweat. That was just embarrassing. We're like, none of the moms are breaking sweat. I was drawing in like the late teachers coming up to me, You did so good. Just like really, really about houses. So it was like, simultaneously terrible. But also like that was like that is a good class. Like if you want like a compressed workout in 45 minutes. This was great.
Yeah, I probably would never do that. But it's
It's brutal. It's brutal. I feel like it was like customed to these moms or something to like, it was like extra brutal, I have no idea. But yeah, I don't really do classes or structured programmes that much for exercising, getting out. Like I really, really love now walking and getting outside and hiking a lot. And when I walk and go on hikes, I don't even do like designated trails, or I don't think about the trail as much. I'm just like, I'd rather walk with this. Because that's more meditative. It's more relaxing to just like, I don't have to plan this out, I'm just gonna go with it. And I do that when I go to the gym, kind of the same thing, like, you know, used to be like, I have very, very heavily structured plan for every single part of me working out and exercising. And I just realised that that was an unnecessary point of stress for me, because I know enough to do it well. And I think if you're starting out and whatever people need structure, but I was like, I can just have more fun being like, I don't really know what I'm gonna do to like I might do way more bike and yoga, I might do more free weights or like an in for the hiking and walking, which I try to do every day. Like that's what the pensive like pandemic taught me whatever it was like walking is crazy. Walking is the best thing of the world. Walking, I just like, it's not even about the exercise of it. I'm just like, I'd never believed in walking before, which is a weird thing to say. But I just did it I did was like, that's what old people do. So that's just old people going. That's just so that was my mentality, like you always see like these little things like get documents exercise a day. It's an old person doing power walking, if I have the time, and it's early, and I don't start work till a little later, I just don't even think about and it's like two hours. It's like two and a half hours, eight miles, whatever it is, you know, and it's just through the city, and you just discover things, you know. So I think having less structure leaves you more open to just finding, finding out things or finding random things.
Sorry if you can hear this truck that decided to just back up the truck. Yeah, so honestly, I think it's a golf cart. I don't even know. But yeah, I walking is so underrated. Like, I feel like people don't realise how great it is. And I also kind of rediscovered it during the pandemic. And I was like, Oh, this is great. And I typically will do like a strength training something or other like three ish days a week, usually. So that's typically what I'll do. But certain weeks are just more like, I find that if I am, like mentally and emotionally overwhelmed, like walking is just the easiest thing for me to do. Like, there's just a very low like barrier to entry, I can just go outside and like walk around my complex or whatever it may be. But typically, yeah, I like to strength train, I coach at a gym. And so it's like a strength training gym. So I'll just go there and like, hop into a class, just to get in and get out. And then I'll sometimes go to just like random fitness classes, like with people that I know if they're like, Hey, I'm going to this boxing class or hey, I'm gonna go to this Pilates class or whatever. I'm like, sure. That sounds fun. But yeah, I would say mostly what I do is some form of walking some form of lifting and then it just kind of changes week to week which one is the which one I do more based on like how I'm feeling and like what's on my schedule that week? So
yeah, yeah, where did I catch coaching you coach you coach something?
I do. Yeah, I'm like, fitness coach. That's what I've done the last like five years.
I kind of impressed we we actually we got to the end without even asking what we do actually. Really? It's actually pretty good. Yeah, we only till now do we finally get to the Hey,
what do you do? I know Yeah, I hate that. No, but
this is this was actually interesting though. So fitness instructor fitness coach. Yeah,
yes. Yeah. Fitness Instructor. I've been like personal training and group fitness coaching for the last like five or six years. So that's what I was doing in the Cayman Islands. That's what I did before then I've like, kind of changed what method I've done it into, like I've done it corporately I've done it primarily for like CrossFit style gyms and stuff like that. And so the gym I'm at now, it's not a CrossFit gym. It's just like a strength and conditioning gym. One because I'm getting older as my body couldn't handle being wrecked every single day. And like, I was getting lots of injuries and things I was like, you know, maybe I should, you know, listen to my body. So, yeah, that's, like one of the main things that I do. And yeah, it's super fun. I love it love getting to make a difference in people's lives and like, watch people gain confidence in themselves and all of that fun stuff.
Yeah, that's so so that's really, really cool. Yeah, I would love I've said, If I think it'd be cool, if I if I got paid to talk, that would be perfect, because that's all I ever do. But if also, if I just got paid to like, move my body and teach people how to move their bodies, that'd be that'd be great. I know, there's gonna be so much trading and like, You got to learn a lot of stuff. Because the one thing I'm always behind on that I don't know is like the anatomy and stuff. Like I have my fitness for instance, like, gosh, like, yeah, they're talking about deltoids or whatever, you know, they're just talking to muscles and stuff. And I'm like, I thought you just lift heavy things, and then boom, you get you just get looked good. It just looks actually like, that's just the whole thing. Was my training regimen. At first, I'm just like, you live big things. And you look good. That's yeah, no, but like, my job is like, be sitting sitting all the time. That's kind of my biggest struggle is like I really have to force myself to be like, I need to go out today. I need to walk. I need to work out. Because I work from home like 89% of the time I have this really bad lighting here because I'm like designing a studio space. I work in like, like sound and sound design for like film and television. Yeah, yeah. So it's a lot of computer stuff. Yeah, I work on film sets, like 20% of the time, which is great, because I guess I get out of the house. But yeah, I am editing at this computer at this very station so much. And it. I love the creativity of it. But you just I lose like four to six hours not even realising it. And I realise I haven't moved out of my chair. I haven't Yeah, they stretch every 20 minutes. Why? That's so hard. Oh my gosh, like, I'm so bad. My back's gonna break when I'm 35 As soon as I found out like how you're actually supposed to do it, but yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like, I have to balance those things in my life because I couldn't I've like Gone periods without the physical or without the fitness without the the walking, so and then I just realised I'm more depressed, more anxious. Like, all these things. It's like, they can't they're not solved. But I can just feel so much better if I just I go and move. And I didn't even realise the connection between the two at first, but now I'm like, Oh, I have to Yeah. Do you do individual classes, big classes? Do you do both? Yeah,
I do at the gym that I'm at. Now it's more like small group training. So there's like eight to 10 people per class. Usually, like on the weekend, sometimes there's a little more people because we have less class options for people to pick from. But yeah, so I do that I used to do more like one on one clients also. But I think I got a little just burned out from that during COVID Because I was doing so much of that. And like pivoting everything online and all of that stuff. And so now I just have one client that I see. Like for one on one stuff, and the rest is just the group classes, because I like I like the group classes. There's just so much energy and you can like really brighten people's day and it's like you can kill all the birds with one stone. And just make an impact on like, the most people at the most time. And yeah, I like the class setting how people's energy can just all kind of like feed off of each other and yeah, I think it's think it's really fun. That's crazy that you do like sound stuff. i
Okay, this is Becca here. Unfortunately, we're at time so it's your time to say goodbyes.
By Ashley. It was so fun talking to you and meeting you. Good time.
Yeah. So nice meeting you, Jeff. So nice chatting with you.
This was super fun. Okay, Ashley, take your headphones off for a second. We want to talk to Jeff privately. Yeah, thank you. So first of all, it was so fun to watch this day I was smiling from ear to ear. So hopefully you had a great time but we'd love to just hear from your perspective how you thought the date went.
Don't go anywhere. We'll be back after this short break
hopefully you had a great time, but we'd love to just hear from your perspective how you thought the date went?
Wow. I actually thought it went pretty well. Especially considering the like the way I I've never done virtual dating or anything like that I haven't done like a FaceTime date or something like that. So I was just thinking like, oh, the internet's gonna cut out these things happen. But even when this stuff happened, you know, we were able to pick up the flow of conversation really easily again. And I mean, that's like the number one big thing out of a good day. For me. I'm like, the conversation was slowing really naturally.
Yes, I agree. And what would you say, are like the top three things that you really appreciated about Ashley, like, the
passion for the work she does, because, you know, the way she talks about like, I'm a physical trainer, and all this, but it's about what I give to people. Like, it's like, I can impact most people. I think she said that twice. That was that's an amazing quality, because I think about that in my work creatively, all the time. And like how my creative work and you know, make people have an emotional connection with people. And she's just doing that in a different way through like physical training and getting people the best part of themselves. So that was really great. Number two, she's cute. Okay, that's great. And, yeah, number three, I just love people who can talk and who can, like give you a good story off of just one question, stuff like that, like, oh, like, just just just, you know, just tell me about that vacation, you know, and just keep going without me even prodding it all, those are probably the best qualities, I think,
I love that I love that you
started with the values. I just was, you know, wanting to give some feedback that I thought you did a really good job of active listening, staying engaged, I thought you did a really good balance of sharing about yourself. And also asking about her out that there were like really great moments where you dipped into what I call like date appropriate vulnerability, sharing that you maybe were nervous talker in your past, and it's something that you worked on, or things you've learned about yourself in the pandemic. So I thought you had a really good balance of that. And I would encourage if you guys go on another date to incorporate maybe even a little bit more of that. So just wanted to offer that feedback in general and body language wise, also, you know, smiling showing you're engaged with, there was a lot of openness coming from your side.
And there are a lot of opportunities for a tad more flirting. So if you end up on a second date, I think both of you can flirt a little bit more, there are some opportunities to say things like Oh, when I get you know, when you're back in LA, why don't you take me for a smoothie or let's do a SoulCycle class or just some way to show interest because we find often on dates that we're bridging the gap between two people who like each other and don't know. So it's hard to tell on the state how you both felt about each other. And I think if you're interested, just make sure that comes across
day. That's that's actually that last point. That's really good. Just saying one thing to show interest, you have to say it out loud. Because otherwise it's like, it's it's just in my head, even though I'm thinking it the whole time. I'm like, if they're not ever gonna hear it. They're not a mind reader.
Right? Even the things that you said you enjoyed about her, those would be such beautiful things to share with her. Yeah.
Oh my gosh, it's I don't know. That's good. I've never had a coach for this before. And I've never had anybody tell me the good qualities that I have. So that's great. But I actually love like, I was gonna ask you like, what can I work on? And I'm like, Well, damn, it just said it. So there you go. I like that.
Yeah, you're doing a great job. Okay. It's just these tiny tweaks lined up making a huge difference.
Yeah, take you right out of friendzone. Yeah.
All right. Love it.
So we'll connect with Ashley and then we'll figure out what's the next step
is Okay, fantastic. Can't wait to hear back.
Thanks for your time, Jeff.
Thanks, Jeff. Let's invite Ashley back on.
Hi, Ashley. Hey, I'm dying to hear how you felt about the date. So give us a scoop. And then we'll ask you some questions.
Okay, cool. No, it was very fun. Um, it was super easygoing, conversation, like, felt very natural, which is great. I feel like sometimes on dates, it feels like I'm the one like leading the conversation and like really trying to like pull teeth, getting people to talk and share about themselves. And it did not feel like that. So that was amazing. Yeah, it was super fun. I feel like we have a lot in common, which is really cool. And obviously we didn't get to like, dive into everything. But I feel like there's a lot more that could be dove into.
I love that that's exactly what you want in a first day. You want to feel curious about the person. There's some mystery, and that's why you end up having a second date. So I had so much fun watching. You nailed it. I thought you did such an amazing job on the date. You were playful and you smiled and you elaborated and you had some like really funny moments. So overall, like kudos, you did such a great job. Thank you.
Yeah, I thought that you did the ping ponging really well, and not only that, but I think that when you would ask questions, it was a really good blend between funnier questions like what type of sausage to like versus more intimate questions like Are you extroverted versus introverted, so I really liked that you had a good blend that you kept it light hearted, but you could still you know, you were still trying to get to know him on a deeper level as well. And let me tell you, your laugh your little like giggle That things is your superpower. It's like so flirty, so fun, so reassuring for him. So I think you had a lot of like good nonverbal that was great and kept the engagement going, where you were kind of giving him that validation while he was telling his story without, you know, needing to verbalise it directly. I love those moments. Great.
I love that. What qualities about Jeff did you like,
these definitely, it seems very grounding, like you all mentioned, and he seems to, like know himself pretty well, which is great, I feel like you can always tell when someone is just kind of like putting on a show or like, they're being over the top because they like don't really feel comfortable with themselves, but he seems very comfortable with himself. That was the big thing that I felt and kind of picked up on. And also like, he can be funny and laugh at himself. And he's not too, there doesn't seem to like stuck up and stuff like that. So
love it. And one comment for you. And I said the same thing to Jeff, because you both seem to enjoy each other's company is just to show interest. So there are a lot of opportunities where you could have invited him to do like a SoulCycle class or to walk around the city or to do something in West Hollywood. So I encourage you, if you are actually interested to show interest in some way it can be something in the middle of the data doesn't have to be at the end, just so he knows that you are interested in a second date. If you are, yeah,
that's good to know. I'm always bet that so
most people are but you know, we're not mind reader's. So it's so helpful to land the second day, and then later, you can decide if you even want the second date. But that will just get you to the next step.
Are there any hesitations on your end? Or anything that you maybe had hoped gone better? Yeah.
I think that it went pretty well, like I've been on a few dates. And I would say this one's definitely like up there. And the top was, which is funny, because it's like, we're not like sitting across the table from each other or whatever. Like, I think this was really fun. But I would say yeah, this was definitely one of the top like, first dates that I've been on. It was really fun. It was really good. I think
I'm so happy to hear it. And you're focusing on exactly what we talked about in the beginning. So just feeling at ease and comfortable and natural and curious to get to know the person and, and there's more obviously, to share. So I definitely encourage you guys to go on a second date. And you are both on the same page. It was so nice to hear the way he spoke about you, Becca said, I wish that you told Ashley directly just talking about your values and how cute you are. And so it seems like you're both into each other. And it's at least worth another shot.
Yeah, yeah, I definitely would want to hang out again, just to keep talking and like, just see what comes up and things like that. And I feel like there's obviously like, you can get different reads on like chemistry and things like that, the more that you spend time together, but yeah, I mean, I wasn't instantly like, oh, gosh, no, like, so for me, I'm like, Okay, that's a good side. And I really liked what you all had to say and remind me of, you don't need to be like panicking and thinking like, oh gosh, like is this person I'm gonna marry like, it's like, don't stress about that. Just see how you feel in the moment and take it
step by step. So what I would suggest is that we go out with Jeff again, and see if the chemistry can continue to grow. And in the meantime, Beck and I will go back to the drawing board and do some more interviewing and get you another match. So we can compare, and we'll see how you feel with both parties. That is there anything that you would look at in the interview process that you'd want to change up for Ashley?
Well, I think that we found some key things that we definitely want to stay consistent with, like the fact that he felt really grounded the fact that it was easy to have a conversation with him, those things we don't really want to stray from because you felt such at ease with him in the first day. But I think there's always room to tweak and just see what works better for you. So maybe it's just a different kind of career type that we're looking for, or a different type of overall personality, maybe somebody who's actually more introverted, although they can be social. So little things that we can just play along on the spectrum and see what fits best for you and what doesn't, so you can compare. But it sounds like we got a lot of really good core qualities that we can stay consistent with, which is great and kind of have an outline of what works for you. And then within that outline, we can be a little bit playful, so that you can compare and contrast and see what feels best amazing. And dating is so similar to what you do for work like this is an exercise and it's building these muscles. And so just getting back out there and going on dates will hold you accountable, but it will also teach you a little bit more about what works and what doesn't work. And so we can do some testing. And we're off to a great start and then we'll see who comes up next.
Yeah, I love that.
To piggyback off that analogy in the future, when you do find yourself getting slipping back into that, like romantic role where you're wanting the grand gestures and having that kind of like feelings of wanting the fairy tale, just remind yourself that you know, you don't run a marathon in a day, you don't build muscle in a day. It's a slow process. It's the same thing, like Talia said, is working out so that you will feel that grand love, but it's not because of one big moment. It's because of a lot of tiny, consistent moments with someone who feels really safe and comfortable. And that's how you'll build to that. So, you know, carry what you do already in your daily life. You're doing everything right in your daily life, and we just need to plug that into your dating life. And I think that that will give you a lot
of success. Yeah, this has definitely been helpful to hear those reminders and see it put into play in seeing like, okay, cool. You don't have to leave a first date. Knowing the name of your future child like, that's great.
It's very true. Very team.
was fun. want to follow along with the show or know anyone? Good for Ashley. Follow us on lovestruck daily on Instagram and Twitter or email lovestruck daily at frolic dot media
for matchmaking. Join our free database at three day rule.com Or follow us on social media at three day rule. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein and our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are produced by Abigail steckler With little Scorpion studios. We are executive produced by Frolik media. This is an I Heart Radio Podcast in love with. Love with you I'm in love with you