cross. Oh, yeah. And I mean, and then and then it's like, I'm really good at catching myself now when I spiral. But I'm, well I'm better. I'm okay. I'm not going to say I'm really good. But I'm a hell of a lot better than I used to be right. And now I understand that to have been the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, right? Where this is that that was my spiraling, um, because one thing would one little thing and then it would just be the end of the world and you know, and And then you have that rational part of your brain that's like, she's Christ, like, what the hell? Right? No one else gets this upset about things like water, you flipping out and then I feel bad because I'm like, I'm just reinforcing gender norms about women being irrationally emotional. And this is, but that's how it goes, right? Like, all of a sudden, like my fundamental identity, I'm a bad feminist because I'm, you know, because I am a bad feminist because I feel bad about not doing being able to do domestic tasks, like everybody else can do them. And, you know, like, it just and I'm being you know, I'm being a bad role model for my daughter, and I'm, you know, like, like that is that and, and, you know, I understand that now as being rejection sensitivity, dysphoria. And, but, but again, knowing that it's there doesn't necessarily make it go away,