Welcome to Getting Personal With plant medicine. I'm your host, Diana, crash. plant medicine is a deeply personal journey. Everyone has their own experience. I was going to start this podcast off with my own personal experience. But then I quickly realized that my story isn't complete without the inclusion of my partner in both podcasting and life. And because of that, I am joined today by Jr. Crash. I guess I'll never get used to introducing you when we live together. But how are you doing today Jr?
I'm doing awesome. Thank you for asking. Very excited to be here. And yeah, I'm excited to dive in.
Before we dive in, though, this episode is brought to you by Mitra Gaya. They are the top rated online kratom supplier. And they offer lab tested quality kratom that I use daily, we both use daily, actually. So plant medicine is a huge part of our lives. It has helped transform our lives professionally, personally, and even as parents because as you know, we were told that we couldn't have children before we started to experiment with plant medicine. But we haven't been public about our shared experiences, despite the fact that we have another podcast out there in the universe. It's a cannabis podcast, and it's been around for over five years. But on that one, we don't actually speak about our own personal experiences. And that's probably because it's hard to talk about, especially when society places so much stigma around seeking pain relief or obtaining tools to improve mental health.
Yeah, that's, that's really true. I'm sure no one on this podcast or listening to this podcast knows. But I used to work in the medical field, the Western medical field. And during my training there, they really zeroed in and focused a lot of training on sniffing out drug seeking behavior from from patients. Some of these things, you know, there is really wild because they would say things like, if a patient is complaining too much about pain, then that is a sign of drug seeking behavior. And I remember thinking, well, if they're in a lot of pain, I'm pretty sure they're going to be talking about the fact that they're in a lot of pain. But you know, it was just wild about how much they zeroed in on, on this drug seeking behavior. And the thing was, is these patients, they were seeking drugs, they were seeking drugs that were originally prescribed to them from the doctor, you know, most of these patients, they didn't just wake up one day and say, Oh, I wonder what pain medicine would feel like, you know, these people came to the doctor, the doctor prescribed them something and then any the year or two said, Oh, no, nevermind, you know, they just pulled that away from them without giving them any kind of substitute.
Right? And I know that from firsthand. Being that I have several conditions that cause chronic intractable pain. I received a lot of flack from doctors. I've had doctors laugh at me, I've had doctors yell at me. It's very demoralizing and dehumanizing to be treated like you're seeking some kind of I don't know, like you're trying to get one over when literally, you're just so desperate for relief. And so, before the opioid epidemic was even being identified as a crisis, you and I were seeing a doctor who would write us dozens of prescriptions every visit Xanax Adderall, oxycodone, hydrocodone, Ambien. We had some wild adventures of Ambien I said, we like you had to deal with it. But I, I was seeing auras and not sleeping for three days in a row. But anyway, she would write a scripts to address negative side effects instead of giving us an alternative or suggesting that maybe we seek talk therapy or yoga and granted this was almost 10 years ago. So things have probably changed in that setting, to be fair to her. But to be fair to us, she was writing us so many prescriptions. It actually was kind of a joke around the office like other people we knew who went to see her. We talked about how she was just what is referred to as a pill pusher and our respective conditions worsened naturally. Because we'd have side effects from the things that we were taking for the side effects. And we wound up having our lives taken over by doctor visits and specialist referrals.
Yeah, and I think you really hit the nail on the head when talking about just not Not, not listening to the root problem of things. When I was going there, you know, the first medication she started really kind of pushing on me was I sigh of anxiety. And with that, I will get these panic attacks. And instead of talking about why I could be getting these panic attacks, why have anxiety, referring me to somebody, keep in mind the time I was still very young frontal lobe still not fully developed yet. So I'm sitting there, and instead of talking about these things, the immediate go to was, oh, well, that's something that's wrong with you, let's fix it. Here's a pill, you know, that's when I was prescribed value. After that, I got into a car accident, and no relation to the value, just completely different situation. And with that, instead of talking about any kind of alternative healing for the pain, we're talking about any form of alternative relief, it was basically just like, Oh, I know how to fix that. Here's this medication, here's this painkiller. And that was just kind of like a going thing, you know, just not talking about the root of the situation, just covering it up. And with that, you start to feel that the shame, you know, because we're not talking about the deep issues, we're just trying to cover them quickly. So you feel the shame about the fact that you need the medicine. And then you feel that double shame of the fact that you're taking the medication, you never want to talk about what's going on. So you just dive deeper into yourself. And then next thing, you know, you're quietly on multiple medications that you now fully rely on.
Yes, and that shame is very real, because I was working in a setting where people like to gossip a lot, and at the time, and so hair, hair salons in case you're wondering. And so you know, there were rumors about me being a pill popper, because I had to take these medications, and a lot of them would make me really loopy or spaced out or just like, disconnected emotionally. And a few a few years went by like this, where we were just trying to make our lives better in some kind of a way and just hitting roadblock after roadblock. And then we moved to Florida, Florida from Maryland. And what we weren't prepared for was that the opioid crisis was much worse there. And our prescriptions were almost impossible to obtain an impossible in some situations and almost impossible and others.
Well, well, for me, it basically was impossible. I mean, I just decided to just stop all my medications altogether. Which isn't, it's not something really to be proud of, it's not something you're supposed to do. A lot of people don't realize a lot of these medications that you're on, if you don't portray down properly, it can actually cause a lot of harm. You know, the last thing that you're supposed to do is just abruptly stop taking medications. But really, at the time, it was almost like a way to my house, what else am I supposed to do? I you know, I couldn't find all the doctors that I needed. At the time, I didn't have insurance. So that was just so much money that I would be paying just to get these medications. Besides that I was on so many of them, it was almost muddled. I really didn't know at that point what was working and what was helping, or what I was just physically dependent on. So I really kind of thought that the best thing for me to do would just kind of be to cut it all out, start with a clean slate. And that way I could actually kind of find out what was really needing help, you know, what aspects really did I need help with on a medicinal level? Even if I knew that I wouldn't be on on any kind of plan to get medicine again in the future. Just because I didn't have the you know, I had the lack of money and the lack of access. But just being able to know exactly what was wrong with me. Even if it meant that it would be that way for the rest of my life. You know, I figured I was already a mess before I started taking the medications. You know I can be a mess again if need be, even if it would be for forever.
I because I physically couldn't I thought at the time and so I would have to physically come into the office. I say I emphasized physically because prior to this I would Call the doctor and say I need a refill. And every 30 days, I would get a refill. And then after a certain amount of time, I'd have to come in physically. But now with the DEA oversight in Florida that I was dealing with, I would have to physically come into the office every other week. And I would have to show them that I was trying other methods of pain relief. So I had to start going to physical therapy, and taking other types of pills, other types of pharmaceuticals, hormonal treatments, and things like that, that just made me feel so much worse. And so I would sit in my gynecologist office in tears. And he would say my only other option was a very invasive surgery for my endometriosis. And at every turn, when I tried to find someone else who would help me basically I would find these pill mills or quote unquote, pain management clinics, as they were referred to. But those clinics would charge hundreds of dollars of visit just to prescribe a very small dosage of pain medication. And I heard stories all the time while I was doing hair, oh, if you just go into this place with a copy of an x ray, there was even one pill mill down the street from where I was working at the time, that would allow people and they acted as if they didn't know, but people would use the same x ray and like, the person would just pass it handed off to another one after they left the appointment. And so there was a lot of shady Enos going on. And it definitely wasn't helping anyone. And I couldn't afford the costly visits, more invasive surgery wasn't an option. I couldn't be out of commission for an indeterminate amount of time. And so out of desperation, to break the cycle, and avoid buying drugs off the streets, I began looking for homeopathic methods.
Yeah, I remember that. Because it was at that same time, I was actually working in a doctor's office as a medical assistant, it was, it was really wild, how it kind of really went full circle, you know, I was now fully entrenched into the world that I escaped from on the other end, you know, this is where I was getting that training on drug seeking behavior. And at first I was fully bought in on it, you know, I was going to work I was, you know, fully in on on Western medicine and gung ho about it. And then you start to start to see some things, you know, I would sit in, in the room with with patients going over their medication list, and then I will listen to them speeding over over Xanax, like, they were worried that I would just automatically view them as drug seeking. And, you know, I remembered, I remembered that about myself, you know, you, you will go over your medications, and then you would speed over those because a you were afraid of, of having it taken away from you. And then be it, you didn't want that to shade the type of visit you're about to have, you know, you want the doctor to be able to, to listen to care what's going on to actually care and not just think, oh, they just want Xanax. So, you know, it's like seeing this and then being able to reflect, you know, on myself and then just start really doing a deep dive into what they were asking us to do with seeking out this drug seeking behavior. You know, we were forcing them into that same shame pattern that I was get feeling when when I was just trying to find relief and find help. You know, that on top of showing how dark the medical field could be, you know, with people getting lack of care due to insurance or or lack thereof, you know, being overprescribed, being under prescribed, you know, I had a doctor in a very cavalier manner, just basically say this called practicing medicine because no one really knows what they're doing. They're trying this they're trying that doesn't work a little No, you know, it's like they're just basically throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing if it sticks, you know, except for when it came to billing, that was really the only thing that they seemed like they were really certain about was how to code a visit to make sure they got paid for everything that was owed.
And so meanwhile, I had heard about a local kava bar that was offering a kratom hot tea, and it was expensive, but I had heard hopeful things from locals about the plant's ability to relieve pain. curiosity got the best of me and I split a $10 hot tea with a co worker after work. And because I only drank half of the eight ounce tea, I didn't notice much of a difference in pain. But I did sleep comfortably for the first time in a very long while, which was a very big deal for me. Because in my research about pain relief alternatives, the kratom leaf did make an appearance, but there was little data at the time. And I didn't have a lot of confidence in plant medicine back then. I had been a cannabis user most of my life, but I hadn't realized the medical benefits of it. So I was really skeptical about anything alternative. Even though we just talked about how our doctor didn't give us any alternatives. I was on board with whatever my doctor was telling me to do back then I just trusted them implicitly. So anyway, I tried the kratom tea. And what I thought was just a cup of magical tea, which turned into a lifelong alternative to pharmaceutical pain pills. And this is probably a good spot to say that we are in no way trying to shame people for using pharmaceutical medication. We understand that people need it still. And we do need it from time to time. But this is more about understanding and gaining autonomy over your own health. And once I began experimenting more with kratom, I stopped needing over the counter prescribed medication, I started to gain autonomy over my own health. And I started feeling relief from pain, insomnia, which is insomnia from intractable pain, something I never thought would happen.
Yeah, and I just very much, you know, full agreement on, you know, we're not here to shame anyone for taking pharmaceuticals. I personally believe that there does need to be a blending of both Western and Eastern medicine, both of them have profound benefit. And neither one of them should be viewed as better or worse than the other. But one thing that is very much missing from Western medicine is a lot of those conversations, that openness, that transparency. You know, oddly enough, I ended up leaving my job at the doctor's office to go work at that same kava bar that Diana was just talking about, you know, there have reached a point where I just couldn't do it anymore. Working in western medicine and seeing some of the things I saw, but it was more so of a drive towards the plant medicine aspects that I found at the kava bar, you know, that that shame that refusal to discuss things that are going on with you, you know, that was gone. And it's sad that I spent all those years hiding, what was going on with me, you know, feeling that shame of these are things that can't be discussed that just need to be kind of squashed away. You know, when we found that community at, at the kava bar, that community that embraced plant medicine, that all fell away, you know, you found these people that were open about what they were going through what they were feeling, what was what they were taking, you know, what was working, what did they try, that didn't work, and it opened up these conversations and just this pathway of healing, you know, instead of hiding and shame and going to the doctor's office, and, you know, getting my prescriptions for Paxil and, you know, running back home to take them and just keeping everything hush hush, you know, I could, you know, talk to people and say, Hey, I also have really bad anxiety, I've really bad social anxiety that leads to the panic attacks. I've tried this kava, and it's, it's works amazingly, you know, and allow them to try it and, and, and, and see them grow, you know, from a place where they once felt shame to a place where they were able to kind of understand what where they were coming from. And the more I delved into plant medicine is that transparency isn't just a conversation with other people, is that conversation with yourself? You know, when you're taking pharmaceuticals, it's almost like you're just basically putting a cover over top. The thing that's wrong, I found now especially when it dealt with mental health, you know, so that I wouldn't feel anxiety. I want to feel depression, but I wouldn't feel anything I want to feel like myself anymore. With plant medicine. It soothes it, it calms it. So I still have anxiety. You know, I still get depressed but it comes in as soon as it so that it's manageable, and in doing so I still keep who I am. I'm still the same Jr. I don't feel like I lost anything. I just feel like I'm able to manage it a lot better. And it's that transparency is that openness and that community that allows these things to grow and foster, you know, that's really the heart of plant medicine. And that's where I found at the kava bar, you know, it was coming from that place to help build towards healing and management,
right. I mean, that is the biggest draw to this kind of community is that we can all be really transparent about our experiences without fear of judgment, because it wasn't just from the doctors, it was from employers, and, you know, co workers and friends who didn't understand the pain I was in. And so to have that community to have that reassurance that we were doing the right thing, and that, like you said, is not the magic bullet. It's something that needs to be adjusted pretty much constantly, because, you know, laws are always changing formulations change, we find out about new products all the time. So it's not like here is these, you know, here's the way that we cured our illnesses with plant medicine, because that's, that's not the case. It's constant work. And it does take a lot of patients that I don't have, and you can attest to that.
Much does not have a lot of the patients.
Yeah, but you know, I tried to focus on the greater good and the greater good being that this is better for me, because unlike pharmaceuticals, I can take tolerance breaks from kratom and cannabis. And I can tailor the dose for my specific pain at the moment, I can take a bath with certain bath salts and know that like my muscles will feel better, you know, and I won't feel loopy afterward. There are a lot of things that I really love about plant medicine. But the reason why this podcast exists is so that you do feel that community and that you do understand it is personal, everyone's experience is different. But it helps to hear about other people's experiences, and you will hear from other people other than us later this season. And like I said before, our plant medicine routine has evolved over the years. And now we take a lot of things. Like we literally have baskets full and, and the baskets aren't even everything, right. Like I just said, We incorporate plant medicine into all aspects of our life, our lives should say. And with all plant medicine, proceeding with caution is definitely recommended. Start low and go slow. It's going to take some trial and error to determine which method of adjusting is best and also to find ways to sidestep or downplay adverse side effects of kratom or any other plant medicine. And since we're talking about side effects, now is the perfect time to unleash a kratom tip. Don't try kratom on an empty stomach. Do you have anything to add to that? Jr?
Um, I mean, some some maybe, um, but yeah, I mean, never unless specifically instructed, you never fully want to take something on an empty stomach.
So tell us about your best kratom tips we want to hear from you. Email your best kratom tips to getting personal with plants@gmail.com. Gmail will not let me put the whole podcast name in. So that's Getting Personal With plant@gmail.com and we'll read them on the air. When you send us your tips you'll be entered into a drawing for an awesome giveaway from Mitra Gaya. Speaking of tips, another really important tip is to stay informed about the legality of kratom and all plant medicine. There are some states who want to ban kratom and some who have successfully done so. Like with all alternatives that threaten industries like Big Pharma. There is a lot of misinformation out there. But there are also a lot of people fighting that misinformation while at the same time protecting consumers. So to keep up with legislative updates, check out meet your guys's new section that meet your gaya.com MITRAGAI a.com also will be doing a legislative update later this season. And as we said this season will showcase the multitude of ways that plant medicine intersects with personal aspects of life. We'll look into how it impacts parenting, pets, and many other areas. But please reach out to us and let us know what you'd like to hear more of. And in the meantime, you can follow Mitra Gaia at at Mitra Gaia, on Twitter, and on Instagram at Mitra Gaya official. Thank you for joining me today Jr.
Thank you for having me. Had a very fun trip down memory lane.
