You are playing the game. The game being diet, culture, fatphobia racism, sexism, colonialism, you know, all of those oppressive forces that say, These people are better than these people, these people are at the top of the hierarchy. White men, able bodied, cisgendered, straight sized, straight, all of that type of stuff. So you're, you're in that game like you don't think it's right for other people to play the game. So imagine if you have like a chessboard. And you see this chessboard is a fucked up game. Like it is bad for everyone involved apart from the one person who's at the top. So anyone else who plays a game? They fail, and so used for other people, you're like, that's not okay. That game is not okay. I'm not buying into that game. That's fucked up. That game is bad. Stay away from it everyone else. But then you're in there playing the game. Like you're like, Oh, yeah. But it's okay. For me. I hold myself to these standards, I hold myself to the standards that are fat phobic, and racist and sexist and problematic in so many different ways. But you don't realize it, the house always wins, you know that the house always wins. Like if you're again, if you if you're in gambling, like for me, I just gambling, I just think if you do it, if you just you're doing it, you're doing it not not to win, but for the experience, because chances are you're not going to win, right? And so like when I went to Vegas, Vegas was totally lost on me because I spent, I did one bet for for like a couple of bucks. One $20. And I was like done. That's it. I'm done. Taking my money, not betting again, because I knew if I bet again, because I was like, Oh, I won. I just lose the money. And so I thought Fuck it, I'm not going to do it again. And it's like this, like this game that we are playing. It's like we might win to begin with. But at the end, we're going to lose money because the house always wins. And maybe we get into debt to try and win the money back and all that type of stuff. And it's like it's dieting, right? It's like dieting, you might get that first initial win. I think yeah, I'm, I'm gonna win. I'm going to, I'm going to get to the top of the ladder, the ladder in society that says thin bodies are better, but then you lose, because it's built that way for you to lose because the house always wins. And if you think about you know who the Quizmaster is, the Quizmaster is someone like Donald Trump. And so Donald Trump's like, Hey, I've got this game you want to come play? You like oh, no, he's clearly gonna be a cheater. And he's a piece of shit anyway. But, you know, no, because I know the game is rigged in his favor. And I don't want to play with his rules, because his rules are fucked up. So, you know, we're saying when we judge ourselves, we're in the game, and saying that the game is legitimate and good, because we're playing it. But when we think about it, we're like, oh, no, no, actually, is not. Because we can see it's not good for other people. So we have this rigid, rigid expectation of ourselves, that is not based in reality. It's like, we think that we we the way we perceive ourselves, it's, it's like, we're the worst boss ever. We don't think about what's going on with our feelings, our past history, our hopes and dreams. What's important for us, the way that we judge ourselves, we're just like, under give a shit about all that you better get thin, it's not okay that you're fat. Your body looks like shit. Whereas when you look at other people, you think, Well, you know, I don't know, like, what's going on with them? You know? Who knows? I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt. You're just more generous. Right, you're just more of a normal human being with other people, when it comes to yourself, you just a complete trap to yourself, right? We all do it. And the way that I see it in regards to self development, the way that I see it in regards to self development and the evolution of your own levels of judgment is the to begin with people, if they have lower self esteem, they do a lot of judging of others, aggressive don't judging of others, they may even go out of their way to tell people that they are bad for whatever reason, like and my trolls. And this is something that I've done, when I was younger, I was so fucking judgmental, and so self righteous, I would look down my nose upon lots of different people and be like, Oh, they're so this and that, and I would always feel so superior. But really, of course, what we know is underneath that unless you're a sociopath, or psychopath, or whatever, is that really, there's a deep lack of self esteem underneath that. And so that's kind of the next level is you stop, you say, okay, me judging other people, you know, me being such a fucking dick is not good. And then you realize what's underneath that is massive judgment for yourself. And then you start working on that, and you let go of, so you let go of judging others, and then you try and let go of judging yourself. And so that's like a three stage evolution that I see is like, judging others, judging others and judging yourself, let go of judging others, just judge yourself, and then eventually let go of judging yourself. And it's not going to be perfect, right? Because you're always going to judge yourself like, yeah, and you're also always going to judge other people. Like,