Episode_98_-_Complete

Vinny Welsby44min

Speaker 1

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You're listening to the first buddy podcast episode 98. Does anti diet mean anti Vax, plus, grind culture, word Zoo?

Speaker 1

00:24

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fierce fan fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop a negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast let's begin

Speaker 1

01:22

how are you? I also Alize Welcome to this podcast episode. Thank you for tuning in. tuning in. Ch U Boone. nning in so glad that you're here. So I've been on the dating app some more. I want to show you some share with you some jokes. Some jokes that a guy sent me some some some puns and pickup lines you might want to use that started up Q but then got creepy. Sis men why you got to be like this. So I got a I got a message on OKCupid who said hey, how's your day going? Have you ever been called Earl Grey? I responded. Haha. Never been called Earl Grey. But I had an earl grey muffin this morning. My day is good. My dog did my dog didn't like the rain this morning. But he look cute in his rain jacket. How about you thinking Earl Grey? Because maybe because I'm British? And like, what is this? And this person responded? Well, people must call you oh great, because honestly, you're such a hot tea, hot tea. I'm pretty good. Just working. Are you a gardener? And I was like, Yes, I like this bit of a bit of a bit of a cheesy line. And so I thought I'm gonna give you my cheesy line. So I responded. Oh, Dan, and uh, well, okay, well, if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutie Kumba. Pretty good one, right. That used to be my, my single most like, what? I would just send that to people as my first intro message. But my sister said it was too cheesy. I don't know. I think you just keep going with if you're a vegetable, you'd be a cute comeback. I think it's pretty it's pretty wholesome, isn't it? Or is it too cheesy? I don't know. Anyway, this guy continues You remind me of a joke. What's between the difference? What's the difference between hungry and horny? And here? I was like, oh my god here go over don't start doing telling creepy jokes. And he says I say I don't know. Tell me and he says it's what is where to stick the cucumber. lol so the joke was what's the difference between hungry and horny? is where to stick the cucumber? It looks like he took me about 60 seconds to get that I was like I don't understand. And anyway, take a minute to understand if you don't understand. And I said oh my god, that's an eye roller. And he continues What do dildo and tofu have in common?

Speaker 1

04:24

And here I'm like oh god he but he's better be turning this around back to cute soon and he says I say I don't know tell me. Oh no, I say I say what? And he said they are they both are meat substitute. lol so I said started out cute but then was creepy. Oh, wow. Wow. It's like you know what? I love it. You know? You know a little funny joke like to start with and you know, I like a bit of a joke. And then you know, he's like pushing it a little bit about talking about cucumbers, peppers, or whatever I was like. And then he goes in with the fucking dildo, and tofu. I mean, ah, but that's my only date intervention this week. I'm sorry, I haven't got anything else to update you on. No other weird people. I do that I just, it kind of comes in waves of me going on the apps. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna find my next love of my life. And then I'm like, oh, sis, men are the worst. And then I'm like, Nah, come on, give them a chance. And then they send me like jokes about dildos. And I'm like, Oh, so it's like a wave of yay. Hmm. Right. You can probably you probably get it if you're on the apps, or if you ever remember being on the apps. Yeah. But yeah, I thought I would make this episode today because this topic came up and to die antivax. And I was like, shit, holy fuck. Do people think this? Because if they do, I need to tell them that that ain't that ain't what it is. You know that you were if you've listened to the podcast, you know that I no longer look at my DMs on Instagram that my assistant, Mari who is the best goes through my DMs for me because it's too much of a roller coaster of emotions. And it's been wonderful. So that's been happening now for a couple of weeks. Our mental health is really good, juicy, loving it. But you know, sometimes I'm a little nosy. I'm a little nosy. So I went and looked. I was like, I'm gonna have a look. I'm just gonna have a look at like, one message. So I went and had a look at one message. And the message was, Oh, thank you so much, Victoria. You are the best your podcast is the best. You've really helped me and helped others. Big Love all the good stuff, right? And I was like, oh, nice looking at like, oh my god, people are so nice. I love reading messages like that. And so I was like, okay, just look at one more because you're gonna have I got that I got that like dopamine hit of we love you. And I looked at one more mistake. So the next message was a beautiful reminder of why the fuck I need to stay off the Instagram DMS. And actually, it was good to get that kind of reminder because it just just anyway, so I'm going to I'm going to read you this this message which is actually inspired this this episode

Speaker 1

08:06

which I promptly got off Instagram. I was like, I need to stop it. Anyway. So okay, so this person wrote. Hi, there. I'm just writing to you as I've been quite disappointed about your last couple of episodes regarding discrimination. Ooh, who am I discriminating against? I think oh god, how have I fucked up I think I just wanted to point out that you're willing to question the who and the NHS etc. Regarding weight loss studies or being fat is harmful studies and regarded them as inconclusive or not done thoroughly enough. That's not true. Myself and millions of others actually feel the same way towards these organizations that who FDA, NHS etc. In regard to vaccines. The fact that you discriminate against this in your podcast is very hippo critical. I think they're meant hypocritical. And shows you don't know enough on vaccines to then judge others, valid feelings towards them. I've been such an avid fan preaching your name and podcast a friend and clients alike. As you really did help me through a time where I was recovering from bulimia. You made me see the world a different way and you actually made me question the government NHS who along with the use of BMI eyes, maybe I could they're going to throw me now. Maybe if you take care in the future. I will keep listening. mentioned this on your show if you like And so I was like I replied, responded back saying, hang on, you mean me saying anti vaxxers are problematic question mark, because I was like, what? Who? who's listening to my show? Who is an anti Vaxxer? who's listened to my show? That's right wing? Oh, my God, I'm confused. Anyway, they sent another message being like, You're a hypocrite and lalalala because I said, I don't fuck with people, I won't date people will be friends with people who refuse who are anti vaxxers who refuse to get vaccines vaccinated? For for no good reason. So it just made me think like, oh, share that this person is, you know, adding to and to and making seven being like your anti diet, you question the government? Like, I don't, I'm gonna explain it more in a bit. And, therefore, I'm questioning this listener is questioning the government, therefore, Shouldn't someone who is anti diet be anti vaccine, or pro questioning the government or health agencies or whatever. And so I just wanted to do it out there. In my Facebook group, I have a pin post as a, as a kind of an FYI, in case you don't know where I stand on certain topics, that's a failing on my part. And it just goes to show that I need to be talking about certain topics, way more than I do, because some people have slipped through the net. I know sometimes people get into the Facebook group into my Facebook group. First party friends is the name of the group. So if you want to search it, I have like three questions to get into the group. So we can try and weed out the people who it's not suitable for. But still people will slip in and they'll be like, How dare you use the word fat? You know? Or, or how dare you criticize president? Trump? He's the best and I'm like, What the fuck? Are these people? How did they get in here and get them out immediately. And so just an FYI. My friend Megan Kimberlin, who's a Plus model. They are gender fluid.

Speaker 1

12:46

And they shared something, which was like gray, I need to put this somewhere. And Megan says, reminder that I am pro choice, pro black pro immigration, pro living wage, pro universal health care pro paid university education, pro student debt, debt elimination, pro police reform, pro prison abolition, pro vaccine, pro science, pro trans pro gay, pro fats, if you don't like it, unfriend me now, so the trash can take itself out. And so then they go, there's kind of a little roundup like, I'm just, you know, giving fairly high fives to Meghan over there, because Megan, they just, you know, summed up how I feel about the world. In their little thing on Facebook. And so that's what face value can that's what face value is about is being progressive. We're not about right wing ships. And so there's a difference between someone who is vaccine hesitant, and said, you know, he's like, oh, okay, I'm a bit nervous of vaccines just come out a year ago. And I'm not sure I'm a little bit, you know, I don't know about this. And I don't know about that. And so I'm going to go to a medical professional, and I'm going to say, Hey, these are my fears. What does the science say? Are my fears justified? All, for example, black folks who were slower in taking the vaccine due to legitimate fears about the government and whether the vaccine would cause them harm due to historical cases of governments given giving black communities, medicine and vaccines, just to perform scientific experiments on them. And so that makes sense that that hesitancy in certain circumstances. And then when we've got more information we've got to look at the science. And so like I say, black communities were slower. And some people might have been hesitant. And now the vaccine is about been out a year, almost 10 months. And now we've got a ton of data about what it looks like in real life, even though we already had tons of data from the many, many years that that scientists have been researching vaccines and researching COVID vaccines. And, and so now looking at the science we can be reassured if we do have fears. So, you know, it makes me think of, you get these these articles online. And it's like, in right wing spaces, things like there was this one thing where old there was a people were vaccinated in an old folks home, you know, the people in the care home. And then within the following weeks, a few people in the care home died. And right wingers who were like, see the vaccine kills people at an alarming rate. And this is just a beautiful example of correlation doesn't equal causation. And that's something that I talk about on the podcast, all the time. correlation doesn't equal causation. So if, in this example, people who were in an old folks home are old people, old people tend to die, you know, they could have been like, oh, they ate an apple a couple of weeks before and they died, we will are not going to be like, Oh, I got the apple killed them.

Speaker 1

17:03

Because it's, it's, no, there's one meme that I thought was funny. My cousin got the vaccine, and it turned him into alarma. And he fell into a river and had to hitch a ride with a village leader back to his castle, just saying, Do you won't do your own research? So So the premise in this message that I got from this person is that anti diet, people question science, and therefore we shouldn't talk shit about anti vaxxers. And so that's like the premise of the of the message, right. And so the thing is, a third arose that anti diet, health, every size, and intuitive eating are not fringe ideas. They're not fringe ideas. They are very well established and supported. And this is stuff that we have known since the 40s and 50s. The Australian Government recently said that the fact that diets diets don't work is Grade A evidence grade a meaning, it's their assure, as smoking causes cancer, they're sure that diets don't work. That's what gray day evidence is. That's the Australian Government. The UK Parliament recently talked about Health at Every Size, and intuitive eating, talking about that. So way to go and diets don't work. UK Parliament, this is not free. This is not fringe ideas. Science is always evolving. And sometimes it takes a little while for common misconceptions and biases to be corrected at a site society level. And it's very well established in many scientific circles, that diets don't make people thin, long term. It's not controversial to say that right. And I know a lot of people this is brand new, they're hearing it brand new, but it's old news. Really old news. Really old news. It was established first in the 1950s 1940s 1950s. And so that's 70 years. And it's not just It was established once it's been established, again, and again, and again, and again and again, and again and again and again, many, many, many, many times. Lots of different studies, spanning really long periods. So anti diet relies on science. It's pro science, anti diet, fat, acceptance, health, every size, Intuitive Eating is pro science. We have tons and tons of studies talking about this stuff. When we think about questioning the idea that fat is bad, we're talking about changing people's biases. Okay, this is we're talking about changing people's biases and bias is deeply ingrained in society. And you easily you know, this person saying you discriminate against anti vaxxers, then? No, that is that is not how all of that works. That's, that's, that's not how it works, right? Anti vaxxers are not a marginalized group. Anti vaxxers are just people who don't maybe understand science or don't believe in science or whatever, right? They're not a marginalized group. Okay, so, yeah, so anti diet, we're not talking about denying good science, know what the anti diet is, and the diet relies on science, but we wouldn't have got where we are, you know, all the fat activists that have come long before all of us, we wouldn't have got to this place where many people and governments and agencies are now understanding and recognizing the complex nature of of, of body size, we would not have got to that place if it wasn't for science, that shows what so many people are talking about. And we have that other layer that it's a social justice movements, and we're moving towards a more good and progressive world. I said with anti Vax stuff 20 years ago, I don't know if you know, or remember.

Speaker 1

21:54

There was this one study, where this guy literally made up data that vaccines cause autism. And Jenny McCarthy and I, Was she an adult? Entertainment actor? Was she a actress, actor, I don't remember anyway, uh, Jenna McAfee, a famous American, then ran with this, this and spread this ableist anti science nonsense even further. So, a little bit about this, this person, I'm not even going to mention their name. The British, of course, is a it's a fucking white guy, white British guy that's done this terrible thing to the world. This guy is a British anti anti vaccine activist, former former physician and discredited academic who was struck off the medical register for his involvement in the Lancet and our autism fraud. A 1998 study that falsely claimed a link between measles mumps and rubella vaccine and autism. Wakefield study and his claim that the MMR vaccine court might cause autism led to a decline in vaccination rates in the United States, United Kingdom, Kingdom and Ireland and corresponding and a corresponding rise in measles and mumps infections in resulting in serious illness and deaths. His continued claims that the vaccine is harmful have contributed to a climate of distrust of all vaccines, and the reemergence of other previously controlled diseases. So this guy, he was a doctor, he was a gastroenterologist. I can't remember what it was I watched a documentary about it, but there was some he had some biases going in that he wanted to he basically he fudged the data, it was totally made up. And it was so serious that he was struck off the medical register and you have to do some fucked up shit to get struck off the medical register. Right? Like, really fucked up shit. So and he was basically he couldn't work in the UK anymore. Now he's over in the states running with the Trump crowd and is in right wing heaven with all of the anti Vax people being like, Oh my God, you're a martyr and yeah, so this one guy has caused in the last 20 years, an absolute he was responsible for so many deaths and the amount of money that's had to be poured into researching whether there is a link between vaccines and autism is astronomical. There are so many studies in response to this one fraudulent study that so many people are just like fed up with just a yet another study coming out showing no connection. And the thing is, if you were if vaccines did cause autism, why are we saying that autism is worse than death? It's not. And that's really fucking ableist to say that you're so terrified that your child might be autistic, that you refuse to give them something that protects you, protects your child, and protects the community protects people who can't have vaccines, for whatever reason. It's just so fucked up.

Speaker 1

25:57

And it's so selfish, it makes me very mad. So there, there are no studies to prove that vaccines are unsafe in any meaningful way, including the COVID vaccines, the same way that there are no studies to show that any diet works long term for any more than a tiny percentage of people. And so you see how anti diet and pro vaccine, they're like hand in hand with each other. We're looking at the science, we love a bit of science versus science denying. So yes, some people had a reaction to the code of vaccines, which included allergic reactions in people who have who've struggled with severe allergies. And so quote, anaphylaxis after COVID-19 vaccination is rare and has occurred in approximately two to five people per million. Let me repeat that anaphylaxis occurred in two to five people per million vaccinated in the United States, severe allergic reactions including anaphylaxis can occur after any vaccine. If this occurs, vaccination providers can effectively and immediately treat the reaction and millions of people have taken it. So that's me saying that I mean, it's people have taken it. So millions of people have taken this vaccine. And like in Vancouver, where I live, 83% of people are vaccinated. 6 billion doses worldwide worldwide have been administered, which is absolutely phenomenal. So, I mean, it's just it's just denying science at this point, right? That so many have been vaccinated and vaccines have been around for so long, and there's been so much research. And here's a little kind of snippet about the vaccines COVID-19 vaccines are safe and effective. Millions of people in the United States have received COVID-19 vaccines under the most intense safety monitoring in US history under the most intense safety monitoring in US history. So, you know, it's the same with anti diet stuff. Yes, some people can lose weight successfully. But the vast majority don't. And evidence supports this. And so same with the COVID vaccines, yes, some people might have a reaction. But the vast, vast, vast, vast way vaster than anti dyestuff. Because in doubt, anti diet stuff. 5% Max can lose weight long term. That's being generous. So let's just say 5% 5%. And with with the COVID vaccines, the percentage of people having a severe allergic reaction is so low, it's going to be way, way, way lower than 1%. way lower than 1%. What was it two to five per million, so I don't even I can't even I don't even know what that percent is, but it's probably like naught point naught. No, no, no, no, no. One, you know, and that's from you know, it's like, what would you rather do? Protect yourself and protect your community? On the off chance of five in a million chance you might have an anaphylaxis reaction and need assistance with that. I mean, it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense to me in my in my brain, maybe my brain isn't big enough to understand The kind of science denying around that. So yeah, so anti diet does not equal anti Vax. In fact, if anything, the opposite is anti diet is evidence based. And anti Vax isn't evidence based. And I had a I had a scientist debate a flat earther. And something that that scientists said, which I thought was was kind of funny, and I loved it was that, yes, be open minded, be open minded about science, be open minded about findings and be open minded about looking at the studies and seeing how they were conducted. And if they're legit or not, be open minded, but not so open minded, that your brains fall out. And Marie that, be the yes be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out.

Speaker 1

30:57

There are so many things that are so well established in science that we just don't need to keep debating it so much and putting so much weight into it, you know, example, the earth being a globe, right? It's just why, why do we have to keep talking about this stuff. And there are so many people who just agree on this scientific acetate options, like it's just so generally kind of accepted. And just because times are changing around the way that we view fat bodies, doesn't mean we just throw all science out, you know, just because attitudes are changing and people are unlearning their bias around fat bodies doesn't mean that that's it. Fuck all science. All science is bad. All scientists are fraudulent. We shouldn't listen to them. They're bad people. No. Like, no, no. You know, people's attitude is changing around fat bodies. And that is a wonderful thing. And it is backed by science. So, yeah, another meme that I really liked that I saw. I thought it was funny. Dolly Parton didn't tumble out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen and pour herself a cup of ambition just for you to refuse to take the COVID vaccine that she helped fund. Dolly Parton didn't tumble out of burned stumbled over the kitchen, pour herself a cup of outpatient just for you to refuse to take the COVID vaccine that she helped fund. Yes, Dolly, we're going to take the vaccine are gay. And the thing is, you know, this episode isn't for people who are who are anti Vax, because they probably won't change their mind. They probably will say, well, Victoria, you're biased. And you don't know what you're talking about. And you can do what you want, right? Do what you want with your body. If you don't want to get vaccinated, you don't want to get that you don't have to get vaccinated, right. You live your life, whatever. I think it's really fucking selfish, because you're hurting your community. But also you have the choice not you have the choice not to get vaccinated, I have the choice not to want to suck your dick, I have the choice not to want to be your friend, I have the choice not to want to associate with you. And I won't word because it really tells me about someone's personality, if they were like, are blatantly like No, fuck vaccines, you know? Again, there's a difference between someone who says, who says, Well, I'm a little bit you know, I'm hesitant. I'm not sure I have questions. That's cool. That's, you know? Absolutely. between someone who is like, you know, what, I've had questions for a year, and I just felt like, if I can care, I'm not going to get the vaccine can't be bothered to I can't be bothered to answer those questions. So I'm just not going to do it. You know, because for whatever reason, you're, you know, people who are like, aggressively anti Vax. Yeah, so maybe some people are going to be taking they're taking themselves out the door and not listening to the podcast anymore. And that's absolutely a okay with me. And a lot of people are probably gonna be like, yes, Victoria. I'm with you. I think, you know, it's probably going to be like, you know, because obviously, it's fringe stuff, the anti vaxxers are very fringe. And so the people who have accidentally stumbled upon my podcast who don't know that fat positivity is a progressive movement is not conservative. You know? Maybe they didn't get the memo yet, or whatever. But yeah, hopefully today this episode is given the memo. That's what I think in regards to all that stuff. So a reminder Everyone Meghan Kimberling said which I absolutely agree with I am pro choice pro black pro irrigation, pro living wage pro universal health care pro paid university education pro student debt elimination pro please reform, PLO pro prison abolition pro vaccine pro science pro trans pro gay, pro fat

Speaker 1

35:23

if you don't like it unfriend me to now so that the trash can take itself out. Okay, so that was the thing I saw. I want to talk about something else. I'm going to talk about something else. This is a thing I saw on in swarms, and I thought it was so good. I wanted to share it with you it is from an account run by Stacy Fanelli love that name. It did that Stacy Fanelli is not such a good name for nearly anyway, Stacy Fanelli, I will link in the show notes their handle is Ed ADHD underscore therapist. So II D as in eating disorder, ADHD, as in ADHD, underscore therapist, and they made a post, which shows the overlap between grind culture and diet culture. And if you're not familiar with grind, culture grind culture is kind of that stuff I've been talking about in in podcasts other I'm trying to get away from which is having to be so productive, productive, that if you really want something that you have to be working seven days a week, and if you are really passionate about being successful, then you'd be getting up at two in the morning, and having only 30 minutes sleep at night and you're solely responsible for your success. If your life is shit, it's because it's your fault versus any other societal issues. And so that's grown culture. And so the comparison to diet culture, and I was like, Oh, shit, I love it. So. So grant, so let me let me read the caption. We can't talk about ADHD and mental health without addressing grind culture, also known as hustle culture, the societal ideals around work and quote, getting stuff done a post of mine from earlier this year on perfectionism. Perfectionism, and its overlap with ADHD and eating disorders is similar to this one. But here I want to highlight not just the individual's behavior, but also the messaging we get from the world around us on both work and food slash bodies. As ADHD is, we tend to struggle with shame and rejection as a result of executive dysfunction such as difficulty starting tasks, and sustaining attention on boring tasks are often the ones society values most. And as I've covered throughout this IG, ADHD years are more also more prone to developing eating disorders. for so many reasons, not the least of which is the whole of diets culture to fit into the world not built for us. To compensate for what we lack in the grind, circle, the grand circle is on the illustration. In summary, this didn't happen in a vacuum. It's not your fault challenging a fear food and recovery is fantastic step and because of all the overlap between these cultures challenging an urge to work off the clock or pull an all nighter is equivalent to become a undying eater, or try to divest from diet culture, in the process of your recoveries is also to become a well rested, self compassionate anarchist. Really, recovery is counterculture. I hope that's one day not the case because it drives people away. It's freakin scurry to go against the grain. So many what ifs, ask yourself, Does my buy in to this cultural messaging aligned with my values and integrity? The community of people rejecting dangerous norms like these is growing every day? Join the movement. Okay, so this person's a therapist, by the way, so growing culture, and diet culture, the common commonalities, rest equals lazy. It's born out of fear, relies on the willpower myth puts money into industries that profit off our insecurities, encourages hierarchy, no excuses. Based in white supremacy, the faster the better, thrives on comparison. So that's how the

Speaker 1

40:02

they're linked. And here we've got kind of so it's two circles that are overlapping and in the middle of those ones that I just read in the grind culture circle which is not overlapping with diet culture circle we've got productivity is worth you get out what you put in normalizes burnout assumes everyone is willing to go above and beyond and marginalizes people with disabilities and neuro divergence and diet culture. In this diet, culture, circle, weight is worth whatever body type you have is earns normalizes disordered eating, assumes everyone wants to be smaller marginalizes people in larger bodies. So yeah, I was just like, fuck, yes, I've never made that connection. So go follow this account. It's a smaller account 1700 followers. And so I think that they need to go and need to get some more attention. Because, you know, this is this is good stuff. I'm trying to find that other place that they said that they did with the individual behaviors of this. So anyway, so anyway, if you've got ADHD, this might be really super, super interesting. But it's interesting anyway. Because you know, that connection, and that was really interesting how, you know, I'm talking with my therapist about how I can embrace rest, and stop getting stressed if I have a nap and waking up and being like, oh, I need to be productive. And it's really been wonderful for me to continue on that journey of, of resting as much as I can. And one side I had what, like a four hour nap. And then I had like, something in the evening. And so it was beautiful, because then I didn't get home until like 1230. And I'd had that four hour nap, and I was still awake. And I could then go to sleep and, and it was great. And I didn't feel guilty. And if I had done that, previously, I would have felt so fucking guilty that I would have spontaneously combust, you know. So yeah, I want you to share that with us or go follow them. I'm going to have a link in the description or the thingamajig. The show notes. The show notes for this episode is face a.com forward slash zero 99 Eight for Episode 90, A. And you can always get up can always find people find the podcast at first a forward slash podcast if you ever want any links. Or if you ever want to search for topics that I've covered. There's a search bar right at the top of the page for all of the podcasts and there's a link if you want to submit a question that I might answer on the show. There's that link too. But yeah, that's that's all I wanted to chat about today. Thank you for hanging out with me and thank you for being an incredible listener. You are the best and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day I'll say

Speaker 1

43:33

thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body. Then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens

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