Okay, that's a great explanation. And I think we'll, we'll dive into kind of the spectrum of boundaries in a few minutes. I think that's a really excellent point that sometimes when I was first learning boundaries, oh, my goodness, I was so rigid. I was like, No, you can't say it like this, you have to say I feel. And it was, it was actually really problematic. Because as we know, there, we have two drives that are main drives for humans. One is for safety, and one is for connection. And so if boundaries, if the whole purpose of boundaries is to help us connect in a better, more authentic way, then our boundaries being too rigid, can be problematic. I love that you said Correct. Okay, so for me boundaries, kind of feel like a container. That is my, my container where I know, I'm not going to go outside of my window of tolerance. I know that there's these rules and guidelines that I use for myself that are very loving so that I can be loving to other people. So an example of a boundary for me would be for the holiday season. My boundary is, you know, my parent, my husband's parents have both passed. But let's say I wanted to set a boundary about the time limits we will spend with his family. Because I also want to have enough time as our own family. And perhaps I want to spend time with my extended family. And so a boundary would be, you know, I'm totally willing to go to this holiday dinner with your family, I'd like to also spend time with us as a micro family and our five kids and my extended family. So this is what I'm willing to do.