keogan stood seven feet tall, and was a scholar of great erudition. His learning for a long time stood in the way of his enlightenment, but Eason recognized his innate ability. One day a son asked yogin when you were with your teacher, Yahoo Joe, you were clever enough to give 10 answers to a single question and hundreds of answers to 10 questions, however, suggest that it does not help you in studying Zen. In fact, it stands in the way of your alignment. Now I am going to ask you about what you have learned from your not what you have learned from your reading or from your study of the sutras. Instead, tell me this, what is your real self, the self that existed before you came out of your mother's womb before you knew east from West? At this keogan was stupefied and did not know what to say. He wrecked his brains and offered all sorts of answers, but Eason pushed them aside. At Last keogan said, I beg you please explain it to me. And Eastern Eastern replied, What I say belongs to my own understanding. How can that benefit your mind's eye? keogan went through all of his books and notes that he had made on teisho statehood and authorities for all schools, but he could find no words to use as an answer to E sans question. saying to himself, he said, You cannot fill an empty stomach with paintings of rice cakes. He then burned all his books and papers saying, I will give up the study of Buddhism in this life, I will remain a rice grown monk for the rest of my life and avoid torturing my mind. This is like the sun burning up all the notes is like another great master toxin, who was an expert on the Diamond Sutra, and and flummoxed by a tea lady. He did the same and burned all his notes. He says he will become a rice gruel monk. I'm not absolutely sure, but I think a rice grown monk is is like an ordinary monk who doesn't have much aspiration at sea, it may be getting a daily feed of rice grow. Sometimes the term rice bag is used pejoratively of, of, of monks who are not fully engaging with their their practice. So he's, he's giving up here, he's really, it's not just changing how what he's doing. But there's this real sense that he's, he's getting giving up his investigation because it is. So torturing his mind. And sometimes it is necessary to give up on most cherished ideas, and even even give up the practice at times. Last week, in the in the newsletter, the little paragraph or so that I put in there was about not giving up. And this was really only half right? Or three quarters, right. And generally speaking, one needs to persist. But that's doesn't cover all the cases no, no description, no generalization will ever cover everything. And that's the whole point about practice is we we can't rely on somebody else's interpretation can't rely even on the words of our teacher really, we have to find out for ourselves and for the particular situation. So anyway, Eason lift sadly, which is another indication of, of how difficult this was for him to, to leave his teacher behind, but he felt compelled that he this is what he needed to do. And he he found a graveyard or dis of the graveyard that has sort of fallen into disrepair, which was the way the tomb of a national teacher was choose national teacher to Nanyang I think is his name, so the name so he took it upon himself to look after this, this this grave site, Keep it keep it swept and weeded. And that that became his occupation. Secret as is in his spirit of dejection, he found this humble task best suited to him. And then sacred adds a comment borrowing from a Christian saying, he says, Blizzard other poor and spirit because they are freed from their own deluded egos.