Giving your yourself in your parts big old squeeze Hi me
just acknowledging anything that's here and alive maybe there was stress at work that you're holding or stress with the family or something that's kind of triggered you here today and just allowing for that to be here as well.
Welcoming yourself into the space
and starting to just connect to the field and noticing that you're not here alone
allowing these other souls to seal your heart and you feel there's.
As you allow yourself to
feel the connection just noticing any shifts maybe you feel more sensation
Really taking notice of any sensations that you are connected to in the body and then taking the next 30 seconds or so to just try to find yourself back here and open your eyes slowly and as you open them to see if you can maintain a level of connectedness in the body
man, what we'd love to do is just open this up
for you guys to share.
Yep, raise your hand if you want to know. Sure. Ask a question.
Jana, you feel much better today. Yeah,
beautiful. Yeah.
There's like an aliveness back in you.
Yeah, I was actually able to shower which was one. My husband thanks you for that yesterday, because he was like, Yeah, I need to
write. Yeah. You know, you feel you feel very, very different than when I saw you yesterday.
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I feel a lot better. Awesome. Thank you.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so just you know, if you want to share kind of what's what you're noticing since the event, shutdown, open, etc. And we'll just go from there.
I'll give you an Elan. I'll give you an Elan furred metrics and some caricaturing Elon today. Just raise your hand anyway and put yourself in the queue. And then while you're in the queue, wait, wait till the question comes to you. Because later on, you're going to want to ask a question, but there's gonna be a lot of people in the queue. And then there will be time for your question. Yeah, there you go. Like I learned this from Elan, we just got on calls with us like, Do you guys know Simon Sinek. You know, that is? It's pretty. It's pretty famous on the interwebs these days. But we knew Simon way back when when he was like, when the book just came out. And we're still pretty famous. He was he was getting there. Yeah. And so he would do trainings for this community we were on and he would say, who wants to ask a question. And then Elon would just hit yet. We're still doing the dial. And at the time, this was like, you know, before all this media stuff. And so you know, I would you'd he'd say hit number one and on the phone system, it would put you in a queue. And then they'd be like, Alright, first caller. And it was always Elon, like, I'd be on these calls. It was always Elon. And I'm like, I'm gonna fuck is you're always the first one on it. And I'm like, so I call me like, how do you always get the first one? He goes, because I don't I don't know what I'm going to ask. I just hit the one. Like, the moment they start asking the question. And then I hit it. I know, I'm going to be first and then I think of the question. I'm like, smart, smart. So he always got to ask a question. Here's the
thing like, right, I know, I get to ask a brilliant person, something. And I was like, I got like, 12,000 questions that I can ask them, but one of them is gonna come through at this moment. You know, I knew he had time for like two or three people. So I was like, I was always gonna make sure that was one of them.
Anyone was always like, what's your latest, hottest stock tip?
All right, no. My question was always. So what are you wearing?
Yeah. And then Simon would hang up the phone, and that's why he left the community shortly thereafter. Okay, now,
here's, here's the other thing before we get going so we have an hour and a half slated for today. I actually have a hard stop at at that time, so we'll go till
Yeah, so let's go. Hold
on. Let me just let me just make sure. Yeah, I have till 230. So in light of that, and just to keep it fair for everyone, we're gonna basically, I'll keep time. And we'll try to keep it to like, you know, let's say no more than 10 minutes per person just so we can kind of move this along. Okay.
Go ahead, sir. Yeah, I was trying not to be the Elan. No one was raising their hands. Yeah, well, thanks. First and foremost for the weekend. Honestly, while you guys say no, like that was a wreck. It still is. I know guy you said it was gonna We'll take a while I have this story that I'm off my path. Because, like, I feel like I would have to share, like, the entire story, which would be so wrong at some point in my life so that I can feel that it's okay to share it, which is not the platform for that. Yeah. But it's like huge. And I got told that this was not like from channeling that this was not supposed to happen. So I have this story that I'm off my path, and I'm literally not in the right room right now. And that everything I do becomes like,
a shit show. Yeah. And so
I'm kind of stuck. Because usually, like, my spiritual path was kind of steps where, you know, you, you're with a teacher, and then you end but now, since I'm in this story, where I'm not in my path anymore, I'm just, I feel the universe will not support me in whatever I do. Yeah. And so even though I'm here, and I had to go against my intuition to go to the weekend, because my, all my buddy was just not, like, there. It's like, there's nothing, no one can do anything for me and nothing. And so I fought so hard just to present myself, like I knew I would kind of like, whatever die if I did, like, I had to do like it because usually that first time I came because my soul was calling me. But this was not the same thing. It was just, it was my head. And it's been for months that I've been in this shitshow that was in real life, and in my head and everywhere.
And last night, I dreamt that I'm so sorry, people like I had a dog. And
she was like,
since I'm a kid, you know, my closest, like relationship ever. And most spiritual path like I've seen, she was kind of still attached, all right, I believe did whatever. And I'm like, she's still totally there. And know that I felt from all those sets, that I feel that I've missed my purpose because it was supposed to be there was a timing thing. And that was suddenly they told me to stop there, you know. And I couldn't do it. Because I didn't understand it was channeling or whatever. I was just so confused. And like, I was flying so high, and I couldn't it was like my, my soul kind of won over my body or something. And I think it's because there was a poster in my room that I kept reading so many times because we were working from home. It says like, take time to do what makes your soul happy. I fucking myself took over.
Connect, can I just I know there's a lot going on. So I just want to again, I want to get like kind of focused. What What would serve you the most? Like, what could we give you feedback on? I got that going on. I get that there's you know, like that off the path channeling thing. I think there's some stuff I can offer there. But like what would actually help you right now. Like, if we can give you some feedback on it.
Ya know, it's all personal. But there's this big I'm confused about if it's about a spiritual journey, or, or a mental journey, like your thoughts create things.
And so that's my big blog.
And I also have a spiritual blog that I believe in God and when I fall down, like that's what's kind of left so. And basically my dog is that I dream that someone burn her eyes, like, and I'm afraid that's real life in the other realm or something because I failed the mission to like, uplift the planet with my voice because I was supposed to be a singer. And so that was very, very scary this morning. Now I'm out of it, but it's just like, fuck, like that's intense. Yeah.
All right. Yeah, no, no, you're fine. I'm just trying to track as much as I can. There's a lot of different things in my opinion going on over there. Look, I can only tell you what we have learned from our experiences, right? Truth be told is everyone's going to view their spirituality, their mental state, their experience. There's through that lens of the trauma and distortions that they've had in their lives. For all of us, right, like, so for Elon, I think maybe me a little bit more than Elon, I used to have this like, great responsibility to save the planet Elon had it too, but like, this, like intense belief, that that's who I was when I was. This is like the bodhisattva vow, kind of thing. It's like the, you know, surrendering your life and spirit to the greater good, right? That kind of thing. It's a lot of fucking pressure.
Yeah, I have to help others. That's what's going on. Like, right now I'm wasting time to help others. Yeah,
I would, I would offer too much pressure. And it's not your responsibility. It's not any single person's responsibility to do that. I'll just tell you what I heard. Okay. The sort of like the off my off my path and channeling experience and all that kind of stuff. And I can't tell you if that's true or not, I don't know. I don't my experience has been that every human's on their path, even when their vow and, and believe that this couldn't possibly be it what I'm supposed to be doing. But sometimes the path doesn't look the way that we think that it should. Last year, for example, I'll give you a few examples for me. Last year, I spent two years last year, I spent six months in complete and utter terror. Terror, like gonna die, terror didn't end, it came out of a really big experience. I had any healing experience, certainly not where I wanted to be. I wanted to feel a lot more stable after that experience. And it was like the most instability I felt in maybe ever in my entire life. Okay. I think often right, if I if I have the conversation, that I'm not on my path that I'm that I'm not surrendering to that I am, where I am, I'm not where I'm not. And I missed the opportunity to learn from the challenges that I'm currently in. Because the challenge is really an opportunity. And so maybe you had to veer off. Maybe it's a longer way around, maybe it's a shortcut, we don't really know like time will kind of tell what what this is, I think in retrospect, as you look back and be like, Oh, that was actually really important that I made this right turn and stopped doing what I was doing, and walked a different way and maybe healed some stuff that I wasn't paying attention to. And that led me back to my path and a new way. And I got to see things more clearly. And that has been my experience, I think you'll I would have a great over and over again for 20 years of feeling off and on and off and on and off and on. And I don't think anybody can ultimately give you that reassurance. Although you may try to look for it and place your belief in somebody's assurance of your path. And so that would be a false premise. Right? So it's like, we all kind of make up our own bullshit and believe that at the end of the day, the other thing I wanted the other thing, even Elon and myself, like, yeah, it's spirituality. But like, we're all kind of making it up. None of us really know what the fuck is actually going on. There's a lot of people that say that they do. I don't know. Listen to them. Yeah, I put my faith in them at different times. I'm like, Man that didn't really pan out exactly like they said, and you'll and you'll notice very powerful people often don't make predictions, because it's unwise to do so. Because nothing is actually written there is there's stuff sitting in the field, that I think from my experience, increases the probability of that occurring on our planet. But this does not guarantee it at all. And people can read the field and say, Hey, this is what's in the field right now. That doesn't mean it's going to happen. So I'll give you an example from my life. But right before I met my wife, I was down in the jungle, drinking a hefty dose of ayahuasca. And I suddenly have this experience where I deeply feel my wife, I mean, like her absolute resonance, I was like, Oh, shit, that's my wife like that. In that, so same experiences I had, I like, without going into too much of it, it kind of like one of the hardest, worst experiences of my life to being awakened as the Christ experience. And in the middle of all that these angels come down from heaven, they hand me a little girl, they tell me, this is my daughter, and they say her name is Sophia. Okay. Three months later, I had met my wife, and I knew exactly what I knew by when I would actually meet my wife from this experience. And it was before my birthday. And when I met my wife, the first thing I told her was, you're not my wife, I'm waiting for my wife. You're an amazing person, you're gonna make someone happy one day, but that's not me. That's what I said to my wife, the one that America right now, because of this experience, because it was so visceral and real to me. And, and then we go on and but we started like, kind of dating with that as a context, which is a strange way to date somebody, but it was perfect for our experience. Because it let us like kind of meet each other with no pressure. Really be intimate in ways that most people wouldn't be when they're trying to, like, you know, navigate that. And then the weirdest thing happened is we had seen this movie at the end of the movie. It was a movie that played at the time. The movie is arrival, if anybody's ever seen it, really good movie. And at the end of the movie, my wife had asked me she wasn't my wife at the time. She says, Have you ever seen the future? I said, I feel like I get glimpses once in a while for sure. She goes well, I've been happy During this dream, where these angels handed me my daughter, and I know my daughter's name, I said, That's really interesting. So what's her name? She goes, her name is Sophia.
date number three.
And I remember looking up first of all, I backed away like this turned white and back up, and I go, that's my wife. And it took another like four or five months before I even considered that this person could be someone I marry. Right? And we have a really magical, beautiful story. Like, could be a Hollywood movie at some point in time. But point and point to tell you all this is so we both connect over this Sofia entity get pregnant three months after that.
So fears coming. under percent sure.
I didn't even want to get tested for sex, because I'm like, Well, I Alaska said so you confirmed it. Are we gonna believe in our faith or not? We go get blood work done. It's a boy. Oh, okay. Not so yeah. Okay. So that's my four year old Jaden. I don't know if you know this now, but we're pregnant again. So we're like, okay, we misread. Not the first baby. We know we're having a second one. So feel will be number two. Have number two, up, up, up up. Ah, Sophia is on her way
to get the blood work done. It's a boy. Yeah.
So I'm saying all this because that hit us really hard, because it shook our faith and experience. I was so visceral to both of us. Like we cried, and not because we didn't want to boy, but because we were so relationally involved spiritually with this girl. Now look, does that mean that my next kin is not this entity, who's to say that could be an energetic of feminine energetic composite at the spiritual level that's choosing to come in and learn from a male body in this lifetime? Who knows. But my point is, is that humans are really fucking bad at reading signals. With like, an especially when it comes to amorphous spiritual ones that come in such strange ways, you may not understand why you saw something until your deathbed, you don't know. And so to throw a hex and have certainty that one is not on their path. In consideration, you said you believe in God and all those things. So if God is love, and love is all things, that no matter where you are on your path, or to sourcing it is God in love. Even if it's a shitstorm, it's teaching you how to evolve and turn into a more compassionate, loving person. That's just what's being used as a tool right now, sometimes, the best tool you can use is have somebody questioning their faith, or not believing they're on their path, in order to strengthen their resolve, in widening what the path is, oh, it's not just that narrow thing I thought it was maybe it's a lot wider, or my gifts are much bigger. So I'm telling you, from my own experience of things that have thrown very big wrenches into my belief systems are things that seems so clear and certain. And it's like, honestly, sweetheart, you just don't know. And so for me, it's like, it's very disempowering to believe on the wrong path and be like, you know, what, maybe I'm not where I want to be mentally. But the big mind, not my little mind, or their little mind or their little mind. Are you in mind, little mind or Elans little mind is, is bringing me to this experience right now, I might as well participate and find out why, instead of being upset the entire time that I'm on the wrong, I'm on the wrong one. And just really get involved with being on the wrong one. But great. So for this part of my life, you get to fucking explore, being on the wrong one and having no responsibility for this path that I thought that I had. And if that's the rest of my life, and if that's as good as it gets, I might as well participate and enjoy that experience. And then who knows what you'll find?
And for the trauma, because like, that's not something I think during my day, it's something that come up.
Yeah, I think the trauma. And again, I don't want to make trauma seem like it's a bad thing. If you really think about it, I miss piece of information during development. That's really what happened. Right? It's, it might have been painful at the time. But the thing with trauma for people is they we live our lives as if the traumas still occurring. When the traumas stopped. Then, sometimes a very long time ago, right?
Energetically, or months, last four months. That's when it all happened.
I think there is a place there's times where parts on the system get hit, and we go into terror. Like people don't think about this, they think I'm stressed. It's like, no, they're feeling terror, but they like a void are they temporary? Because that's like the terror of like, this is going to kill me. This is too much. Those parts get hit in my system all the time. By the way, I go I go in and out of fear and terror constantly, right? But it's like, like constantly but you know, enough to know but like, now I can be like, holy shit like this part of me. Not me. Not me. The ego personality is like, Oh my god. It's all gonna end. But there's a part of me that does feel like if this continues, I'm going to die.
And it believes that,
yeah, and so when when the terror gets big, the hijacking can become very intense. And that becomes the view that we have of the world and our circumstances, our path and our spirituality and everything like that, we can't help it, it's just like, it's like, like a mask on your face. And everything comes in through that lens. And so like until we can ground the system again, chances are like the view is going to remain that way. And so just by tracking it, there's two things that like, you know, I'm gonna give you our nomenclature that we use for this, but it's an air process and a water process. That's what it feels like, it feels like you're fragmented out here. There's fear, right? There's like this, this is what it feels like to me. And then the other part is trying to merge, and you use other people's systems to navigate and find your way. And so two things I get to, you get to train yourself to do, again, not your fault. Sweetheart, I really want to get you understand if you didn't do anything wrong, you've never done anything wrong. You were led, where you were led, you had the experiences that you had, across the board. People are traumatized, like, yeah, with all the people who are aware of sexual abuse, physical abuse, rampant way more than people believe it's intense, that humanity has been very unkind to itself for very, very, very long time. And even if it's on this lifetime in your lineage, we're sure there's crazy shit going on over there. So you're, so it's coming with you, right? And so it's learning how to ground the system, and then find your center channel, it will change your life. And grounding is a matter of being becoming aware of the bottom half of the body, like when we do our L to work, we go through the different. So like we took you guys, it's a spaciousness, that's just one quality. Okay, there's, that's just one quality, there's six other qualities that you can go into. And then there's like simultaneously being aware of all all of them at one time. And it completely changed. And it completely alters how you see how you think how you feel, your, your system and others. And so when you learn how to start navigating awareness towards the quality, it's like, oh, shit, I'm in this process. If I shift the quality, it balances that, it brings it more into like a neutral state. And so that's what's usually missing for people. It's like, they don't have the counterbalance. So this one is just like, it's like the moment they learn the other one, this one's like, can start relaxing. And those are the two that I feel in your system. And even in your sharing, like, that's what's there. And so that's why I said, it's like, it's not a got it. It's a retraining of the nervous system. And also where awareness goes when it gets scared and worried. And there is like, regardless of the training, there are moments of intensity and mining Elans life where it gets so scared, it's like you get squeezed out of your body, you know, it's like, or you're so hijacked. And it's like it was too much for the system at that point in time. And that's how it preserves itself. The practices are then meeting and finding other people systems who are grounded, who have resource and learning. Like I said, with this person, and leverage their groundedness and find grounded my system, leverage their center channel. And then you find your center channel. And over time, as you do these repetitions, what you start mapping is your own awareness and consciousness. And then you just start kind of more fluidly going to these places that have a lot of resource for you. And that just takes it just takes repetition. I don't want to proclaim that this is something you could do in the next week or two weeks. This is it's a it's a commitment to recognizing it. And then how do I show up and resource myself? How do I show up and ground myself and with another and then in my own practices as well? Yeah. And then the last piece before we move on, I just want to offer like stories or stories, you're gonna believe what you're going to want to believe, right? Like,
what you believe right now is no more true than what you believed five years ago is no more true than what you will believe in five years. If the story that you are telling yourself that I am not on my path is causing you harm. Then alter the story. It's not real. It doesn't matter what's happening, right? Like, you can make yourself feel and you can tell yourself stories till you're blue in the face, right? But it's like, if the thing that you keep telling yourself isn't serving you, then get clear on how you want to feel and alter the story. Otherwise, you're going to keep looping in this thing, searching for answers that no one can give you. No one can give you these answers. They really can't and like small things would be and this is not to avoid because ultimately, it's a two prong approach.
We don't want to avoid what's hot Thinking our system, we want to be intimate, and learn how to sit with our inner experience so we can directly feel what's happening. On the other end, we want to get responsible for what our mind is doing, because our mind likes to reenact and Reloop and trauma. Like once you get upset, it just goes all night, you stay up at night, and it's just churning away and the same shit over and over again, you're like, oh my god, I'm a fucking psychopath. Like, you know, like, you feel this, like mental psychosis, when you take plant medicine, by the way, like, it can definitely throw you in one of those. And you find out how mentally tough you really are. Right? So then the same token, it's like, you got to retrain the mind that like, you know, like, let's say, I'm upset right now, I can still look out the window and see a beautiful tree. And lay my focus on that and be like a tree, tree, you know, and like, and like find resource from from noticing beauty, basically. And that's retraining my mind to like, not always focus on what's not working. Because ultimately, we've all kind of been conditioned through media and school and a million other things that have done this to like, like, constantly look at what's not working in our lives. And it's, it's debilitating. It's harrowing. It's so you gotta like, it's the same thing. You're just doing reps. It's like, Oh, I feel this. Let me check in my system. Because I don't want to bypass what's happening on your here. That's the mistake. A lot of people make the mantra. Journal. I feel terrible. Oh, Shanthi ohm Shanthi ohm Shanthi. Like, fuck you. I'm Shanti. Like, I feel like shit right now. Right? So you're not you're not having your fucking experience. Or you're staging yourself out of scarcity and fear, your own shunting because you're afraid and you want to give up but you're giving away your power to something where it's like, if you don't God, you know, it's here. There's the communions here, not there, right? And so it's like coming back to this to this system and trusting that the intelligence is never trying to hurt, you know, how to guide yourself, you are your own guru. And that's what we want to get into with is like, coming inside, and then like, okay, that's moved, and focusing on the pleasant, that's moved, and focusing on what I like, you know, that's in my intentions, and then writing the journals and then doing my practices. And, you know, we all know the spiritual person who's like sage has sage up their ass 24 hours a day, because they're constantly trying to clear their energy field. But it's like that's, that's coming from fear. And so they get more fear as they're staging. It's not doing what they think it's doing.
So distortion.
Yeah, welcome. All right, so hey.
Hi, everybody.
So I had a serious overwhelm, I guess, I'd say over the weekend. Really, really kind of mind blowing to me. And my, my biggest kind of question I have is, and I did not articulate it very well at all on Sunday. Feeling a surge of power and a power surge of something energy, maybe. You know, like, I tried to explain it as being a conduit, like.
And I really,
like even in the final meditation, really having troubles with my solar plexus opening up. I can feel the tightening, I pop in and out of it, like, keeps coming and going. And I don't know if that surge has anything to do with whatever blockage I have going on. In me. I have a feeling that it's really, really deep, a deep block. Because I've, you know, I've, I've worked at opening it up and I'm, and I feel like I get progress. And then and then it just seems to backtrack. I don't know. Yeah. So my, my biggest kind of area of importance, I think is opening that getting understanding for me because that helps to some degree, and then opening whatever blockage that I've got going on.
So can I challenge you just a bit and it's gonna make you a bit uncomfortable? Is that okay? Sure. So I'm going to offer you that there's a need use At the end, right like this, this understanding is really helpful for me. I'm going to offer the the understanding is actually what's stopping
it from releasing. Okay,
I want you to get like understanding is here, right? It makes us feel good. It's like, oh, this happened because of this, all that stuff, right? If we want to understand something, that means that awareness is here trying to figure something out. Okay, but your solar plexus are not going to braid or heal or release. While this is looking down and trying to understand what is happening, right. So there's going to be this letting go of having to understand Now, having said that, when things get released, sometimes they come with messages, right, it's like, you'll just get a download, or you'll get an insight or you'll have a feeling or you'll see a flash of a memory or something right, and sometimes not. And the longer and longer you do this work, the less information you actually receive about the process. So like, I'm currently in a process right now, where all that's occurring, is I literally go through bouts of like wanting to vomit on myself, that transfers into like, anger, fear, anguish, terror, abandonment, etc. Which brings up all sorts of emotions, some of them from this lifetime, some from other lifetimes. And then I disassociate, right, like, it's too much for my body. So I kind of find a more like, quiet, subtle place. And then I just dive back in, and the whole thing starts again. So it's like, vomiting on myself, crazy energy. Crazy, right? But no information, none zero. All I do is I just get to sit with that which is being released. So Sunday, like for you, there's that piece. And then the other piece is the reason that you keep having that toggle. It's kind of like what I mentioned, when I sit, I can touch it. And then my system just automatically bounces me out of it, because it's like it's too much. And this is why sitting with somebody, you can borrow their safety. And borrow that template so that you can stay there longer and longer and longer. And allow for whatever needs to move and process be moved and processed. is from my experience, the only way? Well, if if you want results quickly, it's the only way, right like you can stop on a mountaintop and just keep touching it and touching it and touching it and spend the next 10 years touching this one thing until eventually you'll get there on your own. Probably. Yeah, but if you want it to like actually move, then yes, this is where we really, really need to sit with other solar plexus. That's actually my process right now is in my solar plexus. And it's it's very young, that that process is a very young process, which is why I said like, the understanding kind of slows it down. Because that process may have been created when you were pre verbal.
I'm I'm more of the understanding of the surgeon, whatever I saw on Sunday, like my whole life I've been a very feeling being I'm more feeling than here.
Yeah, nice.
I've been terrorized about feeling too much.
We're out there with Lesley yesterday.
So, but it's like, you know, as as these things are happening, I don't want to go here. I don't want to be afraid of what's going on in my body. Because fear is my story. So it's like I want to be open to these experiences and the things that are happening because I feel a lot like I have a lot of energy coursing through me right now I can just, you know, this morning during meditation, I had an overwhelming amount of energy, but I understand the feeling of energy, but that whatever that was a shot through me I don't understand. And so then there's this hint of fear. That that I want to understand. I don't need to understand the process because I understand feeling better than anything else. And I do appreciate you telling me that I'm not discounting what you're saying.
Have you ever, ever felt anything or experienced anything? knew that that fear response was not there. Like anytime you ever wound Oh, no, right. So just noticing that aspect that's never going away. That part that fears and the part that thinks that if it understood more would fear less, and never going away, you will have that for the rest of your life. Okay? What we can do though, is we can, again, like, when we're on our own feeling these big feelings, it can be a lot, right? Because you're just like, oh my god, I'm in this dark. I just walked through this dark door, I have no idea what's on the other side. And it's right, like you can even feel it. Now. There's this like terror that comes through. It's like, Oh, my God. Imagine if you and I and guy were holding hands, and we walked into that door together. Yeah, right, you feel that? Like there's a difference there. And imagine that these people that are here are like, surrounding us and walking behind us and like, we're going to go into the same place, same place, we're just not going to do it on our own. Yeah, that energy that you feel, right, this is what I was saying. Like, as we release things, there's going to be these surges of new energy that we've never felt before, because we've just been blocked from feeling them. What you do, as you do more of this work, you realize the benevolent nature of the field that you are all interacting with. It, it wants healing for you, it wants liberation for you, it wants health for you, it wants love for you, all of it, it is a benevolent source of energy. Now, that doesn't mean that sometimes it doesn't feel unpleasant. Okay? Benevolent doesn't mean like, benevolent means like, Hey, I'm gonna give you what I know that you need at this moment. And that is going to kick up some stuff. And it knows it's like, remember that story of like God holding you in, in the fire? Right, it's like that. So what this is, it's like, notice that there's a fear that turns into resistance around that surge. And if we release that, and we begin to trust that it really is here to serve me, and it is supposed to be here, then we start to accept that which is and then it starts to teach and integrate. Get that like, trust me, you're gonna do this work with us. You're gonna feel some shit that you've never felt before?
Yeah, it definitely, definitely digs up a lot like the last couple of days, I'm really sad, felt a lot went back to shaky stayed in it, you know, felt it. Yesterday was a little different. This morning, I woke up and I felt like I was like, Man, I can actually breathe today. You know, I feel I feel grounded again. Wasn't much process. Yeah, so.
And that's a beautiful thing. So that, again,
that is just that, you know, I feel like I just need to lay on a balance being with my arms just spread back, you know, just stretch it and open it up.
It's more than that would be like the physical act, which is fine. Like maybe that will act to something, it really is just a matter of when we sit with someone, right, and we can just hold that place. And if we have time, we can even do like a heart meditation. At the end of this, I just want to be mindful of everyone's time. I even have like a heart opening meditation that that we released that you can start to practice and like sit through. And it really is just in the allowing. From a state of watching without like the agenda list watching not trying to make you go away, not trying to change it and not trying to you're not trying to anything, you're just literally like curious and watching. As that happens, it will do exactly what it is meant to do without you doing anything. Right. And now, suddenly, that might take like, one set that might take 100 sets. That's that's the thing that we never really know. It's like some of these layers and some of these protectors are just you know, they're really there. And so sometimes we don't even get to go in To the heart, what we're dealing with at first is just the protectors, like the ones that are afraid the ones that and we just sit with them. And then so it's like sessions of just sitting with the protector and sitting with that fearful one and right so that they can give us access. Because if those protectors don't let us into the gates, we got no shot. Right? Awesome. That's why like this, that connection, right? It's so important, because instead of like, scraping it, you can literally go into it. Yeah, that makes sense. Yes. Yeah. You're, you're doing great work, like really, really great, where you've opened up your system beautifully. You're allowing things to flow, I'm just like, these are just little points and reminders. Because you're already doing a lot of this naturally, like it's a very natural thing for you to do it just anytime that you're in a fight. With that, which is you are the resistance is actually keeping it in place. Energy wants to flow energy wants to move. Right? You got that? Yes. Awesome.
Well, one last piece I'll add in here, solar plexus in general is a stagnant place for people, even biologically speaking, solar plexus, meaning like, at the center where everything connects, so your nervous system, all your nerve endings, everything comes down here and then expands back out. And the biological sense. So it would, it often seems like it's an overcast area of the body, like it's doing a lot. And it's a place I come back to again and again and again and again. And again. And again, and again and again. And then the last thing I would just say is like just drop expectation of like even knowing what's supposed to happen. And when there's a there's a pressure that comes along with I want to heal this now. I mean, I have a difficult I have a difficult answer for you. Because it was difficult for me to hear when someone shared with me, I said, Why? Why is this keep going? I'm so done with this, like mentally exhausted, don't want to do this anymore. And she said, It's just not time. And during truth, like we don't know why our souls picked these lessons, these particular experiences these parents, these people, right? It's but you did, like, I'm clear that I have a child coming into my life right now, I didn't pick that consciousness, I created, I created a vessel, but a consciousness is coming into that vessel. That to me from what I know about the ethers is a choice that that a greater power than myself is making. So it knows it this whatever person knows, when it's signing up for signing up for this ride. There's gonna be things he or she, I mean, she, he likes or doesn't like about this experience, and a mental state, but chose it to learn through this vessel anyway. So whatever that is, that's what it is. And anything other than that is just more pain for us. I'm supposed to be somewhere else. I don't like this experience. And that's kind of like, well, I'm sure we'll give some sort of feedback for all of you guys. It's like, learn to participate.
Well, and that's, I feel very blessed because I was in my early 20s. And I had a moment where I was talking to God, and asking if this was the right choice for me that I was making. And I actually got answered. And the answer was, No, it's not. This is not a choice for you. And I said, Hey, buddy, I hear you. But I'm gonna do this anyway. And he said, Just remember, there are going to be repercussions for that decision. And so I mean, having that moment where you make a decision to go outside the pathway that you're, you know, technically supposed to be on. I've been very conscious of my path in my life and the struggles that I've had to face and so, I I, I am just grateful that you know, I've learned some incredible lessons. They have not been fun, most of them. The incredible ones aren't.
And, you know,
I'm just glad that I found you guys. I feel like what I need to learn right now, I'm learning and it's matter of just trying to I guess
Stay in line with
instead of trying to understand too much, yeah,
our our view is inclusive of everything, right? It's inclusive of everything and a lot of like, Elan, I grew up in Israel with Judaism. But if you don't know much about Israel, it's actually a mostly a secular country with very, like a very Orthodox community, which creates the same type of strife that Republicans and Democrats kind of have here. And in the same way, but you know, kind of the conservative thinking versus liberal thinking. And nonetheless, like we didn't grow up in a context of sin, or the God punishes and so like, I have none of that I have no no feeling of going to hell, or that I can make God angry. In fact, when I go into experiences, more often than not, you know, I don't give a corroborate. I'm cursing to the heavens and telling God to go fuck himself. Because because of because of the lack of communication to us, and the lack of direction that we have, it feels like we're last little sheep trying to figure out how to play a game that we never got the manual to. And right. And weirdly enough, the manual is inside of us, like the manuals never been out here. And it's always been an inner guidance anyway. But that's, that's my way I leave, I need to, I need to have the freedom to tell God once in a while, go fuck yourself for what you've done to us and what you've put us here for. And then my next, my next experiences is how much God loves me. I'm only saying that I don't know what anybody's religious context is. But like, one person grows up in this context. And in this country, now the person grows up as an Indian, Buddhist, another person grows up in context of Catholicism, and soon, and so they carry those things with them. Even if they broke away from the religion, they still feel that like, I'm going to do bad and I'm going to get punished for it. And I only bring that up because you said repercussions instead of theirs. Every choice we make has consequences that are worse, it's going to have consequences. But repercussions to me is like you're going to be punished for what you've done. And I'm a spiteful God who's going to harm you. But like if you think even God in the context of a parent, a parent doesn't want to do harm to their child. It wants to be an unconditional loving, and the source of that inspiration for us is God. And so why would God ever be something that is spiteful towards their children? Yeah, the strangest strange thing that we've done to ourselves with these contexts.
Yeah, I didn't mean it to sound spiteful. It was just, you know, I deviated and I made that choice. And it bring a different set of lessons. And here I am today. And so it's just, you know, I don't believe that we missed I think we have our lessons we have to learn. I don't think there's necessarily only one pathway to get there. But you know, being present with where you are, you know, and staying true to your core.
Yeah. So
thank you could use your words of wisdom today? So
thanks. Jenna, please.
Yeah, so I spoke with you Elon for a few minutes yesterday, but I just wanted to kind of share with everybody else I kind of feel I don't know, maybe guilty now. Hearing that other people didn't have this, like, amazing breakthrough, like I did, like, I feel like so much just got let go. And my heart is so open and everything is just like, brighter, and there's no like, closed off tension. And, I mean, I guess not everybody's experience is the same, so I shouldn't feel guilty. I should just be very happy that I had my experience because it was absolutely fucking amazing. And I'm still sick. So there was a lot of shit that needed to come out. I feel a lot better physically. And spiritually, you know, energetically, I just can't even describe the change and, and how different it feels. And I'm just so grateful that that I called out to the universe, and that you guys showed up and I even blew off like the first emails and whatever. I signed up for the group, but yeah, I do that to a lot, you know. And then when I got the call from Tobias So I was like, Whoa, this is it. This is what I asked for it. This is it. And yeah, and now especially since the weekend, like, I'm in it, I'm in it no matter what. I'm here. I believe in everything. I feel it. You know, and it's it's absolutely amazing. And I just want to thank you guys so much.
That's incredible. Thank you for that. We really, really
appreciate that. One thing in your neck. Correct, but just offer one thing and you're talking. You're like, I'm still sick. I'm gonna offer that you're still healing.
Yeah. Yeah, I am still here. I'm still shut
up. Yeah, that's right. It's like you're still in that purge healing process. And liberation. Rarely looks I think it's going to look so you feel so much. So much more aliveness and brightness than there was yesterday. It's night and day.
Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's how I feel with my, with my heart, like, night and day. It's night and day. And it's amazing.
Yeah, it's like sparkly. Yeah. Yeah. Your heart feels sparkly. It's like, oh, that's so beautiful. Amazing. Thank you for sharing love. Oh, she froze in that like beautiful pose. Lit, lit up. All right, well, I'm sure she'll come back. Alright. She bounced off, chillin, why don't you step in?
Hey,
sorry, I'm gonna apologize for my voice. Now. It sounds ridiculous. It has been a really great few months of like, just kind of some self focused trying to get rid of a lot of stuff that isn't serving me. And through a lot of my meditation and things like that, I'm noticing that I'm noticing more. But what's happening is, as that happens, I almost like lose track of what I was originally where I was originally at. And I can't tell if that's like a coping mechanism for myself to like, not have to deal with it. Or if it's like a genuine this is because of this is because of this. So I'm actually getting to the root of something.
Before before we answer, I just want you to just just pause and what feels the most accurate for you. And it could be moment by moment. It could also be that at times it's one and a times it's the other. So just feel for yourself, like what feels more accurate? Is it coping, running away from? It was allowing, like what? Yeah, yeah, that, to me, that's what feels the most accurate. And the reason I asked you shaylen like to just check in is because how many times do we ask somebody a question? Because we want them to give us the answer of how we actually feel you guys know what I'm talking about like? So, and again, there's nothing wrong with it. It just goes to show how little trust we have in our own system, and our own intuition, in our own wisdom. And this is why we keep seeking and searching for others to provide that for us. Now, this is very, very natural. Because what happens is when we were kids, people told us that our feelings were not right, or we felt too much, or we were stupid, or we didn't understand this correctly, or whatever it is. And it creates all this like mix, Matt mismatched doubt, internally. So really, what we want to do as we keep going through this process is like, can we re engage that trust in that knowing that we have internally to receive our own wisdom and our own answers? Like what we want for all of you more than anything else is like I say this all the time that there's two things that people look for either a crutch, or a coach, a coach can simply point you where to look. They can offer reminders, at best. That's it. And that's a good coach. Right? approach is what people look for. They want someone to tell them what to do in their lives. Should I break up or not break up with this person should I start this business or not start this business, should I do this or not do this? And why do they do that? It's because if you ask someone and they give you the answer, then you're not responsible for what happens next. Well, they told me, it didn't work. Oh, I have someone to blame. But if we were the one to say, You know what, like, this feels right for me and it blew up in your face? Does it sometimes blow up in your face the things that we choose 100% then the thing that we're trying to avoid is that part that gets kicked up that's like, for me, right? Like the I'm a loser, or the I'm not good enough. Or the I'm such a fuckup, or whatever it might be, right? That's what we try to avoid. So we're like, oh, we'll pawn off this, this thing to someone else. That's what guy said, like, don't ever give us your power. I don't want your power. I want you to own and harness your power. And I get that that's going to be a work in progress. So that's why I asked you about that. Because the beauty is like, notice that you already know what we're looking for his agreement and confirmation. What I want for you is like you get to trust that. And the truth is like I was feeling your system as you're talking, and yes, there's times that it's this, and times that it's that. And what I would offer is like, in the moments that it's happening, you check in is this this or is this that, right, and if you find it, it's the defense part, right, like the avoidant part. Then first and foremost, you want to turn to the part that scared and avoiding. You want to honor that part. Because these parts are so beautiful at protecting us from ourselves. They have done an incredible job, and so really want to honor them, you can bypass them, you really want to like step in and honor them. And as you honor them, you make a request, like, Alright, thank you so much for protecting me, etc. And if it's okay with you, I really am wanting to explore this aspect of me right now. Would you come with me? And if at any point you think it's too much, like, I'll follow your lead? And can we just go and look? Right, and it allows you to kind of like, dive a little bit deeper. Yeah, go ahead.
The trust aspect of it is what is feels impossible right now.
And I just want to reflect back to you. You just did it. So is it Impossible? it's NOT Impossible. it's NOT Impossible. Right? It might be possible. Because yeah, you just did it literally just did it. And you nailed it. Right. So it's like, it's not impossible. It's just I don't know if anyone's ever broken an arm or leg or whatever, right. And like, it's in the cast for a long time, right. And like, they take it out and like one, whatever it is, is like atrophied in comparison to the other one because it just hasn't moved. It has an exercise. I want you to imagine that this trust piece of ours is atrophied, like for decades, not a few months, decades. And now we're like, I'd really like this thing to work again. It's not an on off switch. It's a moment by moment by moment. So even now like just pausing and acknowledging like, Oh,
I could just do it.
Yeah, yeah, more often than not, and I'll say both for from a healing perspective. And from someone who's sitting as quote, unquote, the healer. Permission is oftentimes for whatever reason, just what's needed to be given. I don't know why that is, like, I've had the same as many of you guys, like, maybe some of this stuff sounds novel. And new to you. Some of this stuff is probably sounds like a lot of stuff you've heard before. But there's something about like I said this during the class, it's to me, teachers do two things, they show you where to look, they don't tell you what to see. And they they have to remind you, that's what they do. They remind you a lot. Even after six, seven years of doing this work, when I'm having an emotional experience that's uncomfortable. My teachers always like would it be okay to permission that? And I'm like, Yeah, would be like, Why didn't that occur to me? You know, it just doesn't because when you're when you're hooked in to the part, it doesn't occur to the part that like, it's okay, it occurs to the part we're gonna die. This is terrible. I don't like this. That's it. And so that's the context and so like, again, having a stabilized system that helps you kind of down regulate, find resource and those from an energetic perspective seem to be really important. And then say like, I know you're experiencing right now, like the anger the fear, the sadness, what have you okay to permission and actually have that be here and let that be expressed through the system as it needs to be? And every single time every single time That's the healing is gone through that experience. And so you really want to think of it almost from a physics perspective. It's like alcohol, equal and opposite forces, it went in this way, it's gonna come out this way. If it went in toxic, it was out toxic, if it went in painful, it goes out painful. Here's the difference. When you're merged with a conditioning, you tend to loop and attend to you do you look, you read act, it's like the traumas happening again. And this is why a lot of therapies don't work for people, because they, Oh, okay, I understand why that's happening. Let's go into it. And they just experiencing over it again, like it just happened to them. Because they're merged into the, the emergence of the conditioning, what we're teaching as and why we start with spaciousness is so that you can unhook from the conditioning, and come into the more of the subjective viewer, then, then you can go into the experience. And it's like you're watching the experience, through the machinery versus being the one that's experiencing it. And so that the way that it comes in is the way it goes out. But it's like, you don't have to experience that, again, it actually clears the system, that seems to be one of the most powerful mechanistic things that we have learned. And in our experience, you need to have another person there for that to happen. To keep the system stable, while that's happening, because part of trauma was, Oh, my God, I don't like this turning away from like, if you kind of track how it feels for us, it's like turning away from I'm all alone, no one can help me. Right? So when you're sitting with somebody, it's like a turning back into it. I'm not by myself, I feel you hear, I'm resourced. And then what happens to the nervous system, it's like, it gets what it missed, when that happened. And that, that that resourcing helps the nervous system go like, Oh, okay, got it. And it just like, it just pops out and becomes more stabilized. Now, does that mean, you're going to do one thing to heal that thing, and that's it forever, probably not. Because whatever it is, is multi layered and very complex, and how it gets integrated into our systems. And the trauma that you experienced, even though you may remember a moment in time where that felt really traumatic, that trauma has been happening at the level of subtle energy and in your consciousness, over and over and over and over and over and over again, throughout your entire life. So it's like, it's probably hooked in and connected to a lot of stuff, a lot of the wiring in the nervous system in the brain. So yeah, it's gonna come around again, in different forms. And we've never seen it not be this way, as people practice this, those characteristic traits that they have been carrying around for a lifetime, just aren't disappearing on their own. And it's not because they're like, I want to stop having this negative impact on my life, or I want to stop doing this or wants to keep doing that. It's like, it just happens in the in the perfect timing for that body to release what it needs to release to release. And its own timing. And so these days, I never go to my teacher, and I'm like, here's what I want to work on today. I don't do that anymore. In the beginning, it's like, yeah, of course, I want to get rid of this, I want to not do that anymore. This is really affecting me. And we can have those conversations, which is fine. But it's like now and this is what l three is about for us is life is emergent. It's unfolding in front of you, spontaneously, and constantly. You might as well learn how to participate. Okay, have you guys heard me say this a lot. So it's like coming into a session with no agenda and just being like, what's your right now? What's the body want to show today? That's, that's emergence. And that, to me, actually has the most richness and energy anyway.
Like, when we have the mindset of, oh, I don't know what I want to talk about today. I'm like, great, this is going to be an amazing session. We're back in the day, if a client said, I don't know what we want to work on today. I'm like, I'm not gonna get paid well, today, like, I'm not gonna, you know, where's the money gonna come from in terms of like them thinking there's value now, like, amazing, because we have to mentally talk them through things and explain and here's why and the psychology and how it's formed. And this and that. And again, there's absolute use in that I don't want to, I don't want to throw that away. There's so much value in doing that. And then it's like, around and around we go. And it takes a lot of effort to catch yourself, especially when you're hijacked. So it's like great, let's, let's, let's just work with what the body gives. And I can tell you, those sessions are so powerful for clients, those are the jaw dropping sessions. They're like, What the fuck is going on around here? We're like, Yeah, that's God, that's divine intelligence,
you can do a lot more work inside a well being, then you can inside of like, an unstable, you know, dysregulated body. So when when a client can finally land into that state of well being, then we go into what we call a simultaneous field together. And then we're all basically in it, like learning from the one wisdom. And it's just like, one keeps feeding the other and you're like, everyone's like I know giving receipts Giving circle. It's just it's so profound. Yeah, really beautiful. Shaelyn like, really, I want the practice I want to offer you is throughout the day, doesn't matter how small in the moments that you know that you trusted your guidance. Just pause and say, Oh, look, I did it like show to the part. Like, look, I did it. We did it. And it just slowly starts to build that confidence. You know, and you'll Yeah, you'll you'll be off and running. Okay. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. Caroline,
please. Okay, um, a complaint. I have one question. But I wanted to say that after Sunday, like the last couple days, I feel a lot lighter. And I have had, I don't know how many walls and how thick actually starting. I don't know how to explain it. But I'm like opening up, things are starting to get lighter and my walls are starting to break down. Which is scary. I have emotional reasons. And I've had it's in there layered like up to that at all that degree years of layers, but but I'm I'm feeling like lighter. I don't know how to explain it. But I feel like but I do have a question. You've mentioned mentioned it over the weekend. And I know you've mentioned it in podcast and your Tuesday lives. I don't do subtle. How do I build up seeing settle if I am not here in the side of the head with the neon sign wanting time? Say here here. Do this your vote there? I don't know. I don't I know I'm missing things because I don't. I don't do subtle, like.
Caroline's such a great question. Yeah, bro. See, you wanna?
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's a different prong thing here. I'm just gonna tell you from what I hear subtle mentally like Elon and I don't do subtle either. We're very like what you have a kind of a fiery system earth system. Like, like, like us. Like, we're kind of like a laser pointer. You know, here's the truth. Right? Like, it's also informed by a Russian background Israeli background. I don't know if you know those cultures. But it's there's not a lot of time for bullshit. It's a very, very
scary area.
Yeah. Fierce, fierce, fierce, this, like, look at my Look at my eyes are like to fucking laser pointers all the time, right? I can't, I can't undo that. So there's the subtle of like, my personality, not gonna subtlety, my personality, but energetically, it's just a matter of not being paying attention or conditioned conditioning towards listening to that, like, it took me a while when I'm having a problem that's to go like, how do I solve this? Instead of like, let me resource my body first, let me go through my experience. Because what I was at my conditioning, like most people's is acting when I got afraid. And then trying to put some action in the world to change the circumstance to solve it to make myself feel safe again. So I would be like this chicken with his head cut off trying to get all these things done, constantly trying to manage my external circumstances. So I can create some semblance semblance of balance. And when you know, money is a challenge, or relationships are sideways or whatever is happening. And it happens to all of us like, you're like scrambling, right to try to find that it's not a subtle experience, where we're not talking about being subtle. We're talking about a subtle witness. Within, you don't have to be a subtle person to notice your subtle witness. Okay? Like, let me give you an example. If we take, I'm going to take 30 seconds here, not even. And we're going to just sit quietly, and just I want you to listen to the thoughts inside your head.
This was the first time you're doing that. And I'm saying listen to the little voice inside your head. And there's a voice saying what little voice inside my head, the little voice that said, what little voice inside your head. That's the little voice because it's sneaky like that. You're like, well, there's no little voice inside my head. And it's like, no, that's the little voice saying there's no little voice inside of my head. Right. So can you hear that? Yeah. Right. No. Can you can you notice that you're not the one generating the thought you're the one listening to the thought. Only because I learned that I did. Fantastic. This is a really big part of of unburdening ourselves from the stories that we generate within ourselves is recognizing You're not the one generating thought thoughts are being generated by this mechanism. And there's a part of you that is just this blank, awake, aware, awareness that's listening and noticing these experiences. So again, we we mistake it thinking, I'm merged with my thoughts. And this is why most people are having like psychosis, basically, all the time, they're merged every thought is that's real, this is contentious, something to deal with. And then you can see how media takes advantage of that and scares the shit out of people into taking action. Right? For better or worse. So if you can hear that, that's some space there. That's a subtle witness. Oh, that's your subtle witness. Okay, recognizing that awareness is the beginning of being subtly aware of the mind. We're pointing to something deeper, no, which is not just to be aware of thoughts, that's good. And you can train yourself to do that very valuable. It's also now suddenly aware of energetic shifts in my body. And so when you start witnessing from here, and again, this is our perspective, I don't know true or not true. I think it's true. For where we are now is this whatever's happening here is what the mind is reacting to. Yeah, to deal with the reactive mind, doesn't matter how reactive your mind is, like, stop it, it doesn't care. It's like when you're at nighttime, and you're turning over the thoughts, like, you're like, I just want to go to bed. And it's like, that's so bad, that the red, it doesn't care. It's trying to survive something, it's upset about something, it's trying to figure it out and make it feel better. It's not working. That's what it's attempting to do. But what it's really reactive to is a stress point inside the body. There's a collapse of closure, right? So we're so we're stopping so Elana, like a cool understand the mind, but then let's point to what's really happening is you have stress inside your body, let's learn how to metabolize that energy. And what we find is over and over again, you metabolize energy, the mind quiets down. So the mind is reacting to that. So if you start suddenly witnessing energy, yeah, first it's going to, it's going to feel foreign, you might even feel numb, you might feel this is too painful, you might feel so many different things. It doesn't matter what anybody has started, people are often like, this is the thing, it's hard in the beginning, until they kind of do it for a few weeks, and they're like, this is probably the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. And when you start realizing what coming up the opposite end of that does for you, then the motivation changes because it's not work anymore. It's a privilege to witness and go through these processes over and over again. Because you know, like, if I told you how you do this, you're gonna have six pack abs, and you're gonna look gorgeous, you're gonna go do that shit, if you're motivated to have six pack abs abs and be gorgeous, right? But in this way, it's like, Hey, we're, we're you're going to feel safe, more safety in your nervous system, you're going to feel well being maybe for the first time in your life, you're going to feel authentic connection with yourself and others, maybe for the first time in your life. And we guarantee that that's a byproduct of doing that. And the only way you're going to know that is by confirming it to yourself by going through this process. So if you start doing it, and you can confirm that what Ilan and I are saying is true for your experience, you're suddenly going to be highly, highly motivated to do this work. And we're not talking about hours a day, like going to the gym, you know, an hour or two hours a day to do that. Talking about like, You have five minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, you're gonna make some major headway. And then suddenly, yeah, and then last, but here's like, and, and slowly, but surely, you exit as a default mode, being in your conditioned mind all the time, and you actually start living out here in the spaciousness. And so you maintain this purview of altered state of consciousness, really a different layer of mind that's watching and just getting pleasure for watching not from what is actually on the screen. And then it really starts changing, you're like, oh, I can kind of be with anything now. And that is an incredible confidence to have.
Carolina just want to offer you when when I would do Ayahuasca ceremonies, this is how I learned this. I would I would create an intention. And I is a very blunt teacher, the teacher, and she hands it to you, right? So it was like baseball bats to the face and you know, all that kind of stuff. And so after many, many, many rounds of this, I realized that I no longer want lessons to be taught guy and I are like spiritual masochist gangsters. We like we're like, give it to us at 11 You know, like, full throttle. We just want it we want to get through it right? What I started to learn through the processes that we can also learn lessons in a loving, light manner. Like it doesn't need to be the baseball bat. to the face, it doesn't need to be Leon light, it doesn't need to be anything. What gets to shift though, is our perspective. If the perspective is that the only way that I can learn is when I'm handling when I'm like, getting hit in the face, right, then that's how the lessons are gonna come. Because you can handle them, right? And to what guy was saying about like our clients showing up and like having nothing, they're like, Oh my God, my life is amazing. Like, great. Now we can really do some work, you know, this thing gets like done. I'm like, no, no, now we can really get into it. I remember the first time I showed up, I had a mentor, also and a coach. And I showed up on the call, and she was like, how are you doing? I was like, honestly, babe, like, everything in my life is amazing right now. I was like, I don't even know what to ask you. And she's like, awesome. Now, and she said the same thing. She's like, now it's time to get like really into it. And I was like, Huh. She's like, listen, when we feel amazing, it is way easier to do this work. I was like, Oh, interesting. So that was like a shift for me than the I thing was a shift for me. So Caroline, I want to offer you that as you begin to listen to what guy was pointing to as you begin to listen more. And stay open to like, I'm going to listen for and view the small signs that come along the way. It's like a new game for you. Right? Like, you've been looking for the neon sign. I'm saying like, hey, look down and watch like, a pedal on a flower grow. Watch, like, the small nuances of something. And every time it happens, kind of like I was saying to shaylen Like, every time it happens, you acknowledge like, Oh, look at that, like, I noticed that. And you start to re inform your system. Just view things differently. Yeah, it's already out there looking, right. But it's just looking like big picture. I'm saying like, Hey, let's go micro. And you just start to find those micro. You know, for me, for example, like, I don't know how many you guys see, like, repeat numbers all the time. Or like, there's a number that you see all the time. Okay, so mine guys is 222 Which is why our programs everything you see is like always in like, sections of 111 because we just I don't know, it feels good for us. Right? So 22 is the number. When I see 222 It's almost like every time I'm like, oh, like the angels are talking to me. Like, keep going. Yep, you're on the path. Like just a reminder. And I That's it. It's very simple. And sometimes it's like very mundane, like it'll be a license plate or, you know, something you see on TV or whatever it is. It's like, I just every time I'm like, I'm listening, I'm listening. I see you. I'm listening. And I feel like it retrains you to start to see these things. And then you'll get a call from someone or you'll open a book or you'll see a video or whatever. And if you can start to get like, Oh, this is all here for me. Yeah.
It just
retrains you so that you don't have to now I'm not saying that those baseball bats to the face don't still happen. Did I've just freeze? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not saying don't still happen every once in a while they do. And that trust me, they take me by absolute shock and surprise now, because I'm just not used to seeing lessons that way. But that was the only way that I saw lessons for a very, very, very long time. Okay, so just because I learned this when I when I taught Shai, how to ride a bike. Why do I keep freezing? Just because you learned a way to do something. And that way is easy and comfortable for you does not make it the best way.
Oh, I know. It's not the best way. Yeah,
it makes it your way. And it makes it the easiest way. Right. But like, Guy was there with me. And I was trying to teach my three year old son at the time, how to ride a bike without without training wheels. And I don't know how you guys got taught to ride a bike without training wheels. But my dad ran behind me holding the seat and you know, like, did all that. And I was like, that seems archaic, like stupid. Like, there's got to be some smarter way. Right? So we turn on YouTube, we watched like a four minute clip, literally, of how to do this guy was that I was like, let's do this. So we take Cheyenne to the backyard, we take the pedals off the bike. And then instead of pedaling, all he has to do is find balance. So he was like, there's like a little rolling hill on my backyard. And he would just like walk, walk, walk and then lift his feet and then try to find balance. So he did this maybe 789 times and he got balanced. I was like, Okay, great. Then like you put the pedals back on. And now it's like, do the same thing but pedal. He did that three times. And he got it and guy now this is this is all in the span of like 30 minutes and Gein are like he's three. Okay? We're like, what? So it's like, Alright, try it, let's let's go to the driveway. I put them on the driveway, I hold the seat, thinking that now I'm going to need to like go and run. And I'm like, sure I just do the same thing. I literally like I didn't even have time to let go. He was down the street, fully riding and me and guy are like, what?
Because I
wouldn't have done that, right? Like, that wouldn't have been something that I knew. But I was like, There's got to be a better way to do that thing. Caroline, you're going to explore a better way or bet I don't know better, but a different way. So in the same way, like shaylen, you're going to keep looking for those moments you trust, Caroline, you're going to look for the moments where it's like, oh, I noticed a little thing.
That is, and that is the big thing, by the way. Like the quality of life massively increases in the subtle not because of the big stuff. It's the little moment by moment, things like the spouse says a thing, you're not you don't get the charge in your system, you don't get the hit, that part doesn't come online, you just pass it and you're like, Oh, interesting. Usually, I get kind of feisty, when that happens, right, or whatever it is. And again, not to say that that never happens anymore. But it's like the relationship relaxes because they're not like your partner is not relaxed, when you're not relaxed, they have to play a role. Because you're playing a role. When one's a victim, the other one becomes a perpetrator. If one heals their victim, the other person becomes less of a perpetrator. And so it used to be that we used to have like these conversations like yeah, go to your spouse, here's how you communicate with them, here's a conversation, that stuff really does work. Because there's a lot of stuff in between people that's not cleaned up. It's like stuff they put onto the carpet that doesn't get talked about. And when they're arguing and things aren't working out, that's generally what they're arguing about. They don't say that thing. They talk around it in other ways. And it's like that thing is just hanging there, it needs to get completion. That's what integrity is, is when things become whole and complete. Again. Now we're like, Don't even talk to them. Like, do your work. Don't try to convince them. Don't try to tell them what you're doing. No, they don't have to see you for what you're doing. Like you sign up for this, have your experience, heal this aspect of yourself. And then they're like, my partner is doing those things that I never thought they would do. Like, they're showing me a lot of compassion where like, because you're showing yourself compassion there. It's not that they're doing that. I know, it seems that way. Without a doubt, I get it. When my wife does something, I'm sure my wife is doing the thing, right. But like, but I'm also clear at the same time, like a park, I hid in my system, oh, here's an opportunity for me to do my inner work. And as I do that, I come out of that psychosis. And also she stopped, she doesn't have to play that role. Like because I'm perceiving her like she's playing that role. That's what she's actually doing. And so you can get a lot of healing in relationships with parents, siblings, I mean, countless stories of you know, siblings or parents that we haven't, people haven't talked to in decades. And then suddenly, it's like their sibling just calls them. It's energetic. We just had one, we just had one last week with one of our personal clients. It had been like three years since anybody had heard from her brother. And like, she had a, like, real pain spot around this. And then last week, he called, you know, like, out of the blue, nowhere no one had heard about this whole time. So that's kind of stuff happens a lot. And then one thing I want to tell you is tracking your system talking to you. Chances are you've lived your life in something of an enduring pattern. Like you're very good at enduring things. Is that true? Yeah, just by the look on your face. So you don't get to anger quick. That's probably true. But when you get to anger, it's pretty explosive. Yeah,
thank you. Once I get there
when it goes off, it's the nuclear bomb, then you know, that you don't want to people don't want to
log in, they find, like, really sick. Oh, it's the same thing.
Yeah, so the the healing work for that particular system, I think I mentioned it even during the session, I'll just reiterate here is like, there's like a lack of being seen for who you are, like that you're good and you're worthy. And stuff like that. It was like mom and dad just never told you, you were good. Some some very version of that. And usually a system that turns inside and goes down to hide, like hides in the earth. And that's why he's like very earthy systems, right? Like people around you probably feel very safe, you have like, intense loyalty to people around you stuff like that. And so like, like, opening back up to that trust that if you put your hand out, somebody's going to be there and not slap it away. Is is the repetition that that system gets to have for healing. And I will just tell you, now, it is a slow moving system, or systems like to go really slow and they actually like physical touch as well. So I don't know if that's true for you, but usually, like, you know, some kind of hands on therapy is really good for these systems. And so that that would be a major repair to work on. And that you can get with sitting with people it's like, getting that reflection of oh, I'm good and like slowly the system's gonna look out and be like, Oh, things are pretty nice out here. And And, and also getting the energy in the body to start moving again, could be through like chi gong or shaking or anything but because the energy has been hidden in the ground so to speak for so long, moving it back up and out is very balancing where it's like for Sarah, it's exact opposite her energy is all the way out here. And like having more of that earth connection and groundedness is you know, the counter so for you guys like sit together and many you have medicine for each other.
Guys, I have to complete this unfortunately, and calls here. Amazing, keep playing with these things. And for those that didn't get to share, obviously, we'd love for you to share next time and think of what you heard here that you can play with like what is the thing that you want to do over the next week, where you start to pay attention to that thing, and then just see what happens. Okay. All right, all. Love you guys. Thank you for being here. Bye for now. Bye bye