Hello friends, here we are in the second week of January the second week of the new year. And I'm touting the same message as the last few weeks continuing at an unhurried pace, living in tune with winters vibe, and living in accordance with the full moon energy from last Friday, as well as the current positioning of the planets, all of which are calling, shouting, begging us to maintain the sloth mode of the last week of December a little while longer. Tuning in deeply to how the energy of winter is affecting you getting curious and taking time to examine what's going on and adjusting your practices accordingly. Enjoying space, continuing reflection, breathing, and especially exhaling into the expanse. And you may be laughing at me because already your life is totally not in sync with nature's offerings. Many if not all areas of your life may still be subscribing to dominant cultures hit the ground running New Year best possible freakin version of you messaging. And thus things are anything but slow, steady, and peaceful. I know friend, because besides within my own practices for myself, personally, for the most part, and within my business, shits on fast forward otherwise might be the same for you. My partner is a teacher who is coaching twice a week, my kids school schedules are jam packed. I mean, how much math Do we really need to do by the way, especially since I'm struggling still with understanding my finances and as an adult, but let me not get sidetracked. That's another conversation for another day. And back to my kids besides school, between the two of them, we're going to practice in games five days a week. And you may not have kids, you your life situation, he told me be totally different from me. I am not saying at all that you have to be a parent or a caregiver to have a busy life that is not at all what I'm saying. For me, I'm just sharing where I'm coming from. And I am betting that in some or most ways, shape or form. There's a lot of your life that is on fast forward and not of your own doing. Right. You know, you may have practices you may have desires in place to slow down. But the reality is, the rest of your life may not be quite on board with that yet. And it's bananas. And it's only going to get busier and more cramped from here because it's just January. As I was walking back to my car this morning, from dropping my little one to school, I was reflecting on Grindr culture and noticing that when I woke up this morning, that's exactly how I felt like I was going to have to grind the day, not enjoy it. Not experience at grind. And I have to be honest, it's not working for me. I really truly believe we've got it all wrong. And actually, let me rephrase that. Society's got it all wrong. If you're here listening to this, you know better you know, it's bullshit grind culture is bullshit. And it's making us so unwell. But like me, you may also be struggling with figuring out how to do better when you know better when there's so much resistance from many or all parts of your life. It's really a journey for me, and it's a real work in progress. Um, I have to be totally honest with you when I say that. But I do have some thoughts, some teachings that I've learned along the way that I'm offering today, because they've helped me and support me continue to help and support me. And I'm hopeful that they'll do the same for you. So from an Ayurvedic perspective, when there's an imbalance, instead of focusing on cutting out a problem or restricting behavior that is so typical for dominant culture, we are instead encouraged to focus on practices that will bring in the opposite energy and thus create balance and harmony. So with that in mind as life life's and capitalism and white supremacy, culture and all the dominant systems do their thing. The absolute best and necessary thing we can do for ourselves is to slow down when we can pause, create space, tune in, adjust our practices as needed, and for the love of all that is good in this world, my friends, rest now I need to make a huge emphasis on that phrase I said when you can write because it's not always possible. So it's when you can, and consider taking back your time from shit that's draining it like Doom scrolling, worrying about the future, making up conversations in your head about what someone or a group will say, if you do or don't do something, having critical conversations with yourself, and also doing your favorite method of procrastination, whether that's my personal mo of flitting around, doing all the things, making more of a mess, and not really, actually doing anything significant at all. Or maybe your MO is setting everything on fire criticizing everyone and everything along the way. Or maybe your MO is simply burying your head, and waiting till tomorrow to do it, or never. No shade, no judgment, right? We're just calling it like it is calling like, that possibly is right. My friends, it's about finding the space between, between emails between calls between thoughts between a question you receive, and the answer you give between your vehicle of transportation and your door, you get the idea, right? Space is there space to slow down is there, you just have to slow your roll long enough to actually see it. And I say that always with the utmost love, because that's really hard for me to write. But we have to remember, dominant culture is not going to slow down. And it's not to be kept up with right. Many of you have tried to keep up with it, I know I have, it doesn't work. So the only choice we have is to decide to stop playing the game. And then actually go do that, right to make the decision to do our job to do what we need to do. And then take our ball and go home. And I know I'm making this sound very sensible, very black and white and maybe even easy to do. But I need you to know that that's not what I mean at all. Inherently, these practices are simple. But simple and easy are two different things. While they may be simple, actually doing them in our culture's current climate, within your own life, access to resources, demands, etc. It may seem like I'm asking you to climb Mount Everest, I can assure you that I'll never ask you to do something. I'm not practicing myself. And I have zero interest in climbing Mount Everest, although props to those who do. I know life is ridiculously busy, you have a ton on your plate, and it can often feel like it is just going to get more full. Working through this exact situation is so much of the work I do with my clients and the holistic self care collective this monthly ongoing membership of and mentorship, right of helping people to find their way through their self care practices. Daily, Weekly as life lives right. Once we've pinpointed their energetic makeup and their current areas of need. We create aligned practices that include slowing down and resting all in their personalized self care plan. So they can start feeling better. And we work together to identify the time sucks, as well as small ways to begin creating space for the actions that honor how they want to feel with consideration to their specific life. So I'm not really ever asking anyone to climb Mount Everest, right. And, you know, the magic I have is simple, right? When when it's when you create a line to practices for yourself that align with your energy in your specific needs in your specific life. Though, that in and of itself buys you back time and energy. But I want to be clear when it comes to rest when it comes to slowing down. For some and for each of my clients as their practices look very different, right? For some rest looks like taking a nap. For others. It looks like some doing something creative. It may be for someone connecting to your breath. And they're still a population. Again, no shame or judgment for whom it's slowing the pace from 90 miles an hour to 75.
Rest slowing down. It's so many things in between these these examples and beyond them. And in coming episodes, we're going to be talking more about best practices and exploring some mind reframes as well as you know, other practices, more aligned practices for you. So I'm really looking forward to what's to come on the show, but in the meantime, I want to point out that while getting clear on your energetic needs and develop But being more aligned practices is really is like a really important part of the puzzle, right? Because if you are dominated by mobile energy, the rest is gonna look different from somebody who is dominated by calm and steady energy, and different from the person who is on fire all the time and go out going out and getting life, it's going to be different than it should be. And society, you know, doesn't really, you know, buy into that, that message that things can be different, right, different is always bad. And it's not that right. I also want to say, too, that with my clients, particularly, I want to be very clear as I talk about them, and the process of working with them that as they develop more aligned practices, as they get clear on their steps moving forward, it's not to say that once we have this plan in place, that my clients are like, in the clear, and the road is smooth and straight. From there. It's not life challenges, old habits, false narratives, and all kinds of other stuff always pops up, always. And so part of the work that I do with them, is helping them navigate this stuff. Which brings me to my next teaching point, something that's really important to explore as you dive deeper into this consideration of slowing down of taking back your time of creating more aligned self care practices, as well as examining the hurdles that may be present themselves, like just the hurdles in and of themselves, or navigating the challenges that may come up. Have come up in the past, right. It's really important to consider your relationship to slowing down and your relationship to rest. And this is something that I sprinkled in in past episodes. We haven't really talked about it that indefinitely. And certainly not the way we're talking about it today. My friend, as a disrupter, I know, you know, the importance of these practices of this lifestyle of a lifestyle that includes that is dominated by slowing down of ease of rest. And since society isn't going to support us in these endeavors, we have to do everything we can do to support ourselves and each other. And while slowing down and resting our actions, they are not without thoughts and feelings, we each have a relationship with slowing down and resting. And if we're being honest, for many of us, it's not that relationship is not in the best condition. And friend, remember, always my intention here is not at all to make you feel badly, it's quite the opposite. Actually, I want you to understand that if you have a rocky relationship, or no real relationship with slowing down arresting, it's not your fault. But I also know that intent does an equal impact. So I want to be sure to say this. Remember, just like our relationships with other humans, animals, plants work literally everything in life. Our relationship with slowing down and resting is in large part, something that was given to us, by society, our culture, our family and our experiences. Depending on your identities, you may not feel okay, or safe to rest. In terms of my own experience, for me as a child of immigrants, especially with from one of my parents, who grew up very poor, and is completely self made, or both my parents really are self made. But one parent grew up very, very poor, compared to the other. I was taught from a very young age to work my ass off every day, to put everything I have into everything I do, and do as much as I could to make money and to keep going no matter what. To create my own security, quote unquote, security in a world that doesn't want me to have financial security or safety. Growing up, you know, rest was viewed as sleeping at night, you know, or taking care of when I was sick or occasionally watching TV once in a while or for day trips or vacation. I want to be clear, it's not that my parents didn't let us rest it was just as they were always going. They were always working, cleaning, preparing, so that my siblings and I could have everything that they wanted for us everything they saw or Feist for us. Their parents did that their parents before them and there's before them down the line, it was a lot of doing based on a lot of generations before them doing to. On top of understanding the way this world here in the United States works for bipoc, folks, because the reality bipoc folks, especially those who are not born here, are not afforded this the opportunity to slow down arrest. And rest can very much be a four letter word. It can be an act of defiance against or should be viewed as an appreciation for the hard work and sacrifice made by those who came here for a better life, and have worked nonstop to overcome the odds to get it. So you better believe I have been unpacking a lot of old narratives, guilt and shame around slowing down and resting. And to really compound things my natural energy state is mobile. So my tendency is to go go go, revving my engine to the highest speed possible until I burn out, causing more depletion faster and needing more care and rest to reestablish homeostasis. It's a whole thing, friends, you may not be a black, indigenous or person of color, you may hold other marginalized identities, or maybe you don't. But I am betting you have your own complicated relationship with slowing down. And resting that's based on your own identities, experiences, and those of your ancestors, all of which is compounded by your natural energy, which governs the way you move through life. And it's worth exploring. Because if you're not aware of the old narratives and beliefs, or if you're continuing to allow them to take up space, or dictate what you do and feel, you'll continue to stand in your own way, and you'll continue to perpetuate the cycle, you'll continue to uphold the systems that you're trying to disrupt and that you are disrupting in other areas of your life. But isn't that crazy? Right? Or I should say, Isn't that wild? My apologies? Isn't that wild that we can work as disruptors so hard in disrupting so many systems in place of oppression. But when it comes to our own care, we're not doing the same thing. We're not, we may not view it the same way. But it's there. My friend, after you finish this episode, you might begin to ponder, what is my relationship to slowing down and rest? And friend, please hold space for yourself and the answers that arise? Some things may make sense. And some may not. Keep exploring this question beyond just one time. Just keep keep, keep going. And notice what comes up. And if something really hard surfaces know that you don't have to make peace with it right away. You can allow it to exist without taking up too much mental or emotional space. And if you're like, what's your right staff? I promise because this is a practice the ability to sit with hard things and not allowing them to take up a lot of mental or emotional space is a practice we explore in the monthly community circles, where we disruptors gather to sit with what comes up when we get quiet. And using the power of the community we co create together in that space plus our own ability to support our own self do hard things because you can you have before and you can do it again. We create space for hard things to be present during this community circle while still moving through life and we amp up our ability to do that outside of the circle. During this 30 minute session will breathe. We will explore
try on the understanding that we are not the hard things we are experiencing or have experienced. And we also explore meeting ourselves with compassion and tenderness, softening the rough parts and encouraging the growth of ease and the expanse of joy. I'd like to invite you to our next online session next Saturday, January 21 At noon Eastern time 9am Pacific Time, my friend. It is such a beautiful opportunity to share and put down what you're carrying, nurturing or celebrating only if you feel open to it of course, we explore a teaching on yoga philosophy, or AI or VEDA self care principle for seasonal support for meeting yourself in the moment, especially stressful ones with aligned action, compassion and grace. We practice pranayama to calm your nervous system to nourish the deepest layers of yourselves and foster a feeling of steadiness and uplifting. We also meditate, witnessing yourself in the moment, allowing a stimulation of shifts in the brain and creating that space for how you want to experience life and support your community. You can do all of these things, you can simply show up and do none of them and simply just connect to the group. Just be with us. So you have full agency over yourself and autonomy over this practice. My hope is that together, we can pause, get quiet and curious, create mindspace connect to our collective breath, meditate and amplify our self care. My hope is that we can open space for ourselves to simply be without expectation or in support of someone else. Since we are always supporting my friend, I've included the link in the show notes that you can take a look and register, if you'd like to join me. And in this month's community circle, the yoga philosophy we'll be exploring is the ethical practice of Ahimsa, which translates to non harming and non violence. And the practice of living yoga encourages us to continually examine our practice of not causing harm. Now, upon hearing this, especially if it's a new concept to you, you might immediately think of this to me not physically harming someone, which is very common. But I have to ask you, what about emotional harm, mental harm, energetic harm. You might also be thinking along the lines of the harm we do to others. And for the most part, I truly believe the people in this orbit, those of you listening, you work really hard to be aware of how you move through the world, locating yourself as much as possible in every situation, in terms of your proximity to power and privilege, and are very intentional of causing the least amount of harm possible. And still, it needs to be said though, that despite our best intentions, we will cause harm, because we're human, we all make mistakes, and we can't know everything in every moment. So yes, please continue doing your hard work of learning and unlearning outside in the world. And do it for yourself, as in for you, your person as well. Another piece of this conversation, and what I really want to hone in on is the harm we caused to ourselves, you might be thinking of self injury, and while that absolutely is included, I'm talking more though, about the things we often overlook, because they're not always overt, but are absolutely harmful as well. It can be our thoughts, our emotions, our words, our actions. How do we harm ourselves through self criticism, guilt and shame. And if I'm being brutally honest through the ways we gaslight bypass, and blatantly ignore ourselves, and drain our system time and time again. And then of course, bash ourselves for doing all of it. Friend, not slowing down when nature and our body is calling us to or are calling us to not resting when our being is giving us every sign. That's what it needs, restricting ourselves punishing ourselves, not listening to ourselves, forcing ourselves to look a certain way or not accepting and celebrating ourselves for how beautifully amazing and imperfect we are. This is harm period. So I have to ask you, what are the ways you're harming yourself? And that might be a really hard question to ask yourself, you may not be able to do it right now. You may be feeling all kinds of things. Alarm bells may be going off, it may feel just awful. You may want to crawl out of your skin hearing me ask you that. And I understand. So maybe today's not the day to ask yourself. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a couple of weeks, maybe in a couple of months. Maybe you just need to continue hearing me say the invitation to kind of get a little bit more comfortable. But I encourage you to pay attention to this reaction you're having to that question. Pay attention to the thoughts that are immediately coming up the questions that are immediately coming up, pay attention to all of it, because it matters. It is a value. And then my next questions are, shouldn't we actively be supporting ourselves? actively pouring into ourselves. What would that look like for you write it down and vision it Get really clear. And when the doubts the nose, the fears come up, because they will write them down to give them a space to live that's outside of your mind. So you can eventually start to deal with them when you're ready. And even Also, consider what support you need in creating this shift. towards what actively supporting yourself and pouring into yourself would look like my friend, here's what I know. Slowing down his radical pausing is radical, rest is radical. Listening to and taking action to meet your needs is radical, saying no thank you to the shit draining your energy is radical. Getting clear on the fiction guiding your life and the story you actually want to be the narrative is radical. Deciding to do things differently is radical. And so my radical invitation to you today is to get clear on your relationship to slowing down and resting. get honest with how you're harming yourself in your thoughts, emotions, words and actions through self criticism, guilt and shame through the ways you gaslight bypass and ignore yourself and drain your system time and time again. My friend, I encourage you get bowled in saying out loud the care you need the care you want, especially, and slowing down and resting and the ways you want to start showing up for yourself instead, because you're going to need these practices not just for this extended sloth mode time. But as regular practices throughout the year. Begin to identify and moves through some of the baggage you're carrying around. So you can continue to do your important work in the world at more ease. You can continue to show up authentically and resource and live on your own terms. Or at the very least, just begin the internal conversation around these things. Remember, it might be uncomfortable, it might be hard, it might be gut wrenching, but it is necessary for your personal liberation and our collective freedom. I'm here to support you. I'm here to hold space for you in our community circle. And you can head to steff.garante.com or I should say Steff gallante.com/community-circle. To register. I hope that you'll start to hold space for yourself around this I hope that you will enter this space of care that are opening next weekend. And until next time, my friend, please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would those who are most precious to you, whether that's human animal, baby or plant. Take good care and please stay connected. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the support I provided in this episode. So feel free to reach out and share. I'm so grateful for you, You my friend are a badass and you are enough. Be well
