The and if you can also add your R or x if x if you don't want to be in a recorded breakout circle. And we've already sort of started the the check in so I'm not sure how you want to handle that Sally was going to do that.
Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. I I took somebody's job away. Let me hand it over to you. To me, Sally. Yeah, I've started your check in because it started in the pre session. And I didn't realize that I was. Oh, no. It was wonderful. You can finish Ruth has next. Oh,
you know, I am having tiny little crisis here. But I'm really I just really like to hear what you have experienced this week with your buddy calls and no progress he made with the empathy circles.
Thank you. Yeah, I love the cat background. Sally. Yeah. giant cat. Yeah, I haven't really done much this week. I was just I had a empathy call. Sorry, buddy. Call with Bill, which was great. We had a nice chat about CI as well as we practiced the circle. Yeah, I was away last week when we did the roleplay. I think I just spent all week like, trying to get my health back. I just felt a bit rundown. But I will say yeah, I'm looking forward to kind of normal empathy circle today without, you know, all this sort of infighting between relatives. Stuff like that. Yeah. Empathy fix. Thank you.
Okay, so um, D were you called on?
Yeah, Sally, I've already gone.
Okay. I'm Jonathan.
Sally, thank you. Yes, I was called upon. Thank you. I had to turn my mic on.
Oh, Sally. Sally. I called Sally. I called on everyone. I overstepped and was doing your your function. So um,
no, it was wonderful. I just have a problematic situation right here. Yeah. Oh,
Sally. Sally's got power outage there where she lives. So she's just on batteries. Oh,
well, Sally. I like to. I've already checked him. But I want to add something. That's okay. We have time. I participated in a circle with Jeremy with his his job. He had asked for volunteers to help facilitate, and it was really good experience. And I was surprised how quickly some people took to it. They got it. They understood it and it was good. So your your culture of empathy. It would inspirati. Thank you,
Edwin. And Jana has her hand up if you see that, Sally.
Jana, I remember hearing your voice. Do you have it?
I did just say that. I'm happy to be here. I just arrived when I was. I want to add that day, Jennifer and I did a very nice buddy Kyle. And it was really nice to get to know Jennifer a little bit. And also Mary and I have the ongoing empathy circle the ethics and empathy circle on Sundays. And we just did honesty and we're looking forward to generosity tomorrow. And that's really special. Thank you.
Yeah, I went to that. And thank you, Jana. Okay, so I'm at this point is next in line and
I just check in Did you were you there at that Cara at the Jonathan's What do you want to report on that? So the situation is Jonathan, he has taken the training, not Jonathan was it? Jeremy? Jeremy has taken the training before and then he's working at DoorDash I think it's a company that does deliveries, marketing as marketing. Okay. Yeah. So if you want to say a little bit about he put out a call for support and just wonder if you want to share it. So yeah.
Larry was there and Alex was there and Lindsay already said it. It was it was fantastic. It was fantastic to have a business coach or where this was a norm. And they were using to to figure out how they could be better in this area. Yeah, amazing. And it was immediately people were like, I, I was surprised at how hard it was not to react. I'm surprised and how well it felt immediately to reflect and not have to react as soon as I stepped into that role. And that was cool to experience. It was super fun.
Yeah, and I think the employees were a virtual they I got the impression they did not work together. I mean, in a in a,
they have an environmental option.
So that's part of their wellness program is that they have both remote and in on site, they have a combo. They require that you take wellness days required. No, they don't just offer you wellness days to take. They require it. Company and then they wanted to do empathy circle.
Okay, looks like we have some people with their hands up. But Jonathan, do you wanna?
We just had BJ join us and she hasn't checked in yet.
Okay, sure. You want to just check in quickly, we didn't check ins BJ here the last for check ins or just anything hours a week in empathy?
Oh, Greetings, everyone. hope everybody's doing well. The week was wonderful. I actually facilitated a workplace redress mediation and utilize empathy listening circles and the EEO rep thought that there was no way we'd get a resolution and we did. So you know, like I said, I love empathy, loved listening circles. We will go global. Thank you.
Thanks, Jonathan. Back to you.
Yes. So regarding the report that Kara was giving us on the Jeremy's empathy circle. Could you explain? Was there a bunch of virtual how many people were present? How did they handle? Who was speaking? And who was the audience? How large a group were impacted?
I think that was that there was okay. There were six that there were six facilitators. And each facilitator had three to four people in a room. So the three to four people were the team, and then we just facilitated it. Yeah, ran it like a normal circle.
DJ.
Yeah, so I beg your pardon. But um, we actually haven't done the check ins with the participants present. So the trainers and the trainees, if there's time are supposed to be able to do a check in in front of the participants. So we can go over those three questions. So though, the one question is about last week in the feedback, and then there's about the empty circles and all of that. So I think what's happened is, is that the trainers, and the trainees haven't really had an opportunity in front of the participants to check in. So I just thought I remind everybody about that. Because I do think it's important for us to have cohesion.
Yeah, things got a little bollocks there. So I don't know. Do you want to check in like 30 seconds will have more time for the feedback. So if you want to show you do that. You want to quickly 30 seconds,
me just pointing it out to the participant, you know, that sometimes it's useful for them to hear the check ins from the trainers. And the trainees? You know, it's for their purpose,
right. Yeah. So I think we've sort of done the check ins already, or will kind of let it go. I think we'll just have more time for the for the feedback we had. We didn't do feedback last week. And we have some backed up feedback. So maybe we would just jump into that. In terms of the check in sometimes we don't we just do the participants in the breakout room. So I mean, in the main room here, so it got a little confused. So I think I will just move on with the feedback, and I've got it here. So I'll just read a question. And then Bill and I are doing the feedback. So the first one is if a speaker isn't saying very much, but still wants their turn, you know what, what do you do? Phil? You might take that? Sure.
And yeah, that's fine. Sometimes people have a little bit but I call performance anxiety. And so I said, We'll sit here with you for five minutes in silence if you want. And that actually usually breaks this sort of tension logjam, and they usually start speaking very soon. But even if they want to do that, that's fine.
Yeah, so it's only just wants to take their time sit silently. I've heard people do seen people do that it's their it's their five minutes. And they don't have to say anything if they don't want to. It's their time just to be seen. So the SEC next question is no, I
was just chairman, you don't have to put speaker didn't have to take the whole four or five, three minutes or whatever. They could just speak until they say what they want,
right? Yeah, they can say I feel fully heard, then it after one minute and then move on to Yeah. But they can also take the full five minutes, and just okay, we're going to just sit quietly, too. So that's also an option, notice a tendency for people to naturally piggyback off someone else's share, which is very normal thing to do, and wonder if we'd be participants were invited to share newly each round, and that's a whole other muscle. And that's one that's atrophied in most, Phil?
Sure. So part of the part of the art of facilitating the least I believe, is a light touch. So when people are going off, I always make the decision, you know, if I intervene, you know, is it worth it? Because that that's, that stops the dynamic. And I try to usually hold back a bit more light touch. So people can say what they want. And we don't want to really direct them as to what subjects are approved or not. Just let them go with their process.
Yeah, I would second that, too. It's the person's choice to follow up on what somebody else said, or come up with a new idea. So we don't want to control that and just leave it up to the speaker. The next question was empathy circles, do I receive some kind of a certificate I just quickly, yes, everyone who took part and attended all five sessions, you get a certificate of completion, it just says that you've you attended all sessions, and we'll send that out, you know, within, within a week or so there's a, there'll be a folder on our face on the website, and they'll have all the different certificates, they're saved as JPEGs, or PDFs and you can download those and, and again, you the first time you take it, you're a participant, and then the next four times, you can be a trainee, and you'll get a certificate as a participant or a trainee. Or if you're a trainer, you'll get a certificate saying that you were a trainer to so. And so that's that one. Do you think there's some topics that empathy circles work well, with? I do think there are some topics empathy circles don't work so well with Phil,
I find that empathy circles work well, with a whole variety of topics, if you're looking for something to kind of draw people in Current Events is always good. And or some very broad themes, like you know, empathy in the family or empathy, political divides, something like that. So anything, and then it, each circle has a tendency, like you say, people pay you back, and it kind of goes where it goes. So it's fascinating to watch that. And,
yeah, it's, I see it as just experimenting, seeing, you know, try out different topics, and see what sort of works for you. I think any topic can work, there's what's alive for you, as well, as any topic is a good starting point. But something a topic that addresses feelings, I think is is really good because that people share deeper feelings. So a topic that I like to share any feelings of concern, anxiety or fear that you're dealing with in your life. So the more you can sort of speak to people, creating a topic that shares people's felt experience will allow the circle to go deeper, versus something that's sort of academic kind of questions that keeps people kind of in their, you know, rational thoughts. So, but do it you can experiment and somewhere in one of the websites, we have a whole list of different topics, or is there any other trainers and Linda, Larry that have any topic? Comments?
Yeah, I've suggested to people when they are bringing their friends together is a topic like what brings you joy, what makes you happy? And, you know, nobody can have an issue with that? Because it's a personal experience, and it's, it's positive so.
And I think keeping the topic question, if you phrase it as a question Having it. So it's quite an open question, then it gives the flexibility for people to take it as they wish to, that's appropriate for them. Larry,
whatever is alive in you, I think that's a perfect topic. And just to be able to share that, you know, in a safe kind of family environment, that's a loving environment, that's just going to reflect back what you said, and not judge you or beat you up for what you're thinking. But just allowing you to be exactly as you are. I think it's a beautiful thing that the empathy circle offers to anyone who's willing to participate.
And if you're doing an empathy circle, like in a family, you don't want to start have the first topic be, hey, what's the conflict are dealing with? It's like, hey, what's something that's really positive that happened in the last week or in the last month in your life? So you want to start with sort of a positive emotional topic to develop trust in in the process? Yeah, Wendy, real quick. Your don't see you there.
I just want to shout out to Larry for introducing that concept of whatever is alive in me, rather than what it ever is alive for me. And I can see, there's a real nuanced difference. So thank you, Larry, for that, and thank you Gianna, for pointing it out to me. Thank you.
Okay, thanks. There's the next one is is it possible have an empathy circle without a facilitator? Bill?
Yeah, well, as I said, when people know the process, then you really don't need a facilitator. Other than I mean, there's a timer and things like that, but everybody knows the process, you know, not to introduce it. So that's, you know, it's good. And when that happens, it's very nice. It's a very relaxed circle,
everyone. Yeah. And you can even get rid of, you know, somebody after you've done it a while people sort of integrate the timing too. And you can just even let go the timing, because people already know, to keep the, you know, kind of a shared time. So the really need to facilitator for new people in the beginning. And for conflicts, even if I'm with you know, people who know the empathy circle, but there's a deep conflict, you know, then you definitely want to facilitator to just visa energy, the energies, you know, conflicted or Hi. I see how much to be picky about listeners reflection, they don't exactly say it perfectly. No.
Yeah, well, it's really the speaker is the expert on the speaker's speech. So if the speaker, if you're facilitating and the speaker seems to feel heard, and generally let it go, you know, if the speaker is doesn't feel heard, and the listener makes several attempts, but can't seem to accurately reflect what the speaker say, then the facilitator might step in and kind of role model or reflective listening.
Just that the the, the speaker knows that they can say it again, until they get heard to their satisfaction. That's an important part of something's not being said next sort of ties in with the next question here, how to handle when someone is reflecting while the speaker feels heard, but they feel no empathy. So that's a little more complicated. So do I give it that a stamp?
Sure. I mean, again, it's the speaker, we're for the time that the speakers there, were sort of just trying to understand and reflect and what they're going through. And I would just say, if they're not feeling empathy, I would say stick with the process, just let it go. And I think that people will get an experience of empathy. You know, eventually, if, if not, then you could have like a buddy call later or something like that, to kind of find out what the specific problem might be. And
I think the US facilitator during the circle, if you if you sense that something's been missed, it might well have been important to the speaker, when it's your turn in the round, you could actually then refer to that which gives the, the the original speaker or an opportunity to again be affirmed that they have been heard and listened to. If you feel that you've picked up something that's been this, that's important. Yeah, I find that sometimes quite useful.
Yeah. So it depends on what you mean by what what the definition of empathy is. The definition I use is sensing into the experience of someone else. It's not you know, feeling kindness or generosity. Your joy or agreement, it's being present and just hearing the person for what's alive. And even in a conflict, right people are there's underlying resentments perhaps. But, you know, so that's sort of the energy between people, but they are empathizing, and that they're sensing into and hearing the other person, people person, like we did last week. So if the speaker, it could be that they have are feeling like anxiety, and they say, Oh, I feel anxious and the speaker, the listener doesn't reflect that anxiety, then, you know, they're they're not feeling heard about that. But there's also sometimes if the speaker has anxiety, and you can sort of sense it and say, Oh, I hear you're feeling anxious, that can sort of hit that felt experience. So as the speaker, if you're feeling, hey, there's no empathy here, you can just keep going until you feel heard to your satisfaction. So, Kathy?
Oh, so I wanted to just ask a question about this if we have time.
Okay, yeah, we got a little bit extra time. Because
I've I find it very difficult to ask the speaker, if they felt heard after the after some, I was just reflecting for them. Because it's almost like telling the reflector, you didn't do it, right. So I have a real, it's been very uncomfortable for me to do that. So I've relied on the speaker to make sure they're heard. And I might address it in one of the rounds. Right? So I've had that kind of, I don't know what the word is tension in myself.
Yeah, if I do that, too, if I, if it's a new person, they're reflecting, they're just really kind of messing up. And you can see that the speaker is feeling, you know, not really heard. I might sec, did you feel heard? I might ask the speaker? And then they'll say no, I didn't really feel heard. I thought I'd just say it again to you feel heard to your satisfaction. And then if things really get bad, I mean, it's just like the person is just can't reflect back at all, I might do a reflection for the speaker so that they feel heard, at least. But I would have to give it like three or four attempts before stepping in. So it gets a little bit more complicated in that sense. But
I think it's that's that's one of the skills that's very, very, like one of the master skills that you learn
it as you go, the more you do it, you get better you get. So I will, like try to keep us on time how to handle this variability here did that? Will there be a study design group formed to create the conflict resolution empathy class? Not at this point, like right now I'm working on the new nonprofit and the retreat center. So once that kind of gets up, we're going to be setting up all kinds of programs. And one of them's going to be about getting curriculum developers and you know, really start working on some of those other curriculums for conflict, creating a, you know, a six or eight week course on the restorative empathy circle. So it's just a matter of prioritizing. So Well, that's it. That's our questions. And I think we're on to I think it was a Jana was explaining this Jana here that I'm here.
And I get to describe my breakout rooms. So the breakout rooms will be an empathy circle, just a straight empathy circle without the How to and without any roleplay changes challenges. This circle is for integrating our experiences and learnings and for feedback about the training. So we'd also like to hear what you will do next with empathy, circle, practice and training. And we will have a participant circle in the breakout room. So just one participant will facilitate the whole breakout room. And we will post some topics here then post the topics. Let me just quick. Quick, here we go. Here we go. Here are the topics. What are your most valuable learnings and benefits from doing this training, to what are your next steps with applying empathy circles and building a culture of empathy, or what whatever is alive for you or in you as you prefer. And the turns will be four or five minutes. And we'll go until 15 minutes to the top of the hour so that we'll have a full 45 minutes for debriefing. And we'll get a 10 minute warning before the end. And thank you so much. It's really a joy to be here for our last session and get started. So take it away Edwin,
thank you A, we have four breakout circles, the first one. So this is an opportunity for the new participants to facilitate all you're doing is timekeeping. And being the first listener. So we have the first circle is with Alex build, BJ and Cara, and I'll be there too. So Alex, if you would facilitate that. The second one is with Jennifer if you'd facilitate that, and that will be Jonathan Larry and Wendy. And then the third one is with D if you would facilitate that give you a chance. And that is with Jana, Linda, Sally. And then the next one is with Ruth if you would facilitate that one number for Kathy DJ and and so here we go. We have about an hour and 15 minutes for this. So see you in the rooms
this is when these should be going into another room in a minute. There we go.
Cool. Hey, everyone. Um,
did you guys see the lamp disaster that happened behind me just before the kittens jumped up there and pulled the entire lamp down. And it all happened on video while on Zoom. So I thought it would have been entertaining, watching. But we've got an hour and 15 minutes. We can either have four or five minute intervals. Does anyone have a particular preference before or five minutes?
Since we're five, I go with four minutes.
Okay, well, we'll go with four minutes. The topics are in the chat, but I can repost them again here in our group just up there. And should I leave time for a debrief at the end within this group?
No, no straight?
Right. Okay. So we're gonna go until well, we're all on different times. And I'll let us know when we're getting towards the end. I'm going to be the first listener. So who wants to start speaking? Carry you're on mute.
I know I was thinking Bill's already unmuted. Oh, no, I'm on mute. And too, so I can go first. All right, listening, what are your most valuable learnings and benefits from doing this training? This one in particular, I was surprised at at doing last week, I found that shocking and valuable.
So
this particular
round of training has been significant for you. And in particular, last week's experience really stood out as meaningful.
Yeah, and, and getting more opportunities to see a guy the diversity of different facilitation went here.
Yeah. And part of what's made it good meaningful is that you've had a chance to see different ways of facilitating.
So valuable learning would be more self reflection. Always.
Yeah. And and an awareness of
how the process works, even if you're trying not to let it work.
So more self reflection is something that comes up for you. And an awareness that even if you try and deviate from the process, it's still working in in ways that maybe we might not always be aware of
that. So my next steps
for empathy circles and building a culture of empathy is I have a new training program for my coaching business and I am building an empathy session into the final week of the training.
So in terms of next steps, you are developing a new training session as part of your coaching business and it has a focus on empathy.
Yeah, well, it's gonna have a piece of empathy than if there's the self reflection tool that is empathy I use a lot in what I do. So we're going to show how beneficial that can be in a business setting, which, you know, just got practical experience doing it with Jeremy. And so I'm going to take that learning and and push it forward.
So to take the learnings of empathy and push it forward, in your coaching program, which is based on business models, you will be integrating empathy and empathy and business throughout that program.
Which is probably what's the most alive for me right now is that training program because it has taken over my month entirely.
So the training program has played a really big part in the last month. And that's what's most on your mind at the moment.
Okay,
I, Bill, would
you listen to me? Carefully? Sure. I have a lot to say on this particular topic. But I'm going to start with my experience with facilitating that empathy circle
for
the STM group that we did on Thursday. Okay,
so you have a lot to say about the topics, but you wanted to talk about a recent SGM facilitation you did on Thursday?
Yeah. And I think that it was, it was a great experience. And based on one of the emails that were sent upwards, I think my group had a positive experience with the empathy circle. But it was, it was quite challenging for a few different reasons.
So you got good feedback about it, I thought of when, you know, overall, it was beneficial. But there were some, here's some concerns.
Yeah. And I think one of the challenges relating to that particular group is that the participants felt strongly about that workplace, not serving them well, and felt some levels of distress around the topic based on their recent experiences.
So what you picked up from the participants in that they felt that the workplace wasn't serving them well, in certain aspects. And so and then they had a little bit of trepidation about talking about it openly.
Yeah, a number of people unexpectedly said that they were on the verge of leaving the workplace. And this was a bit unexpected to hear them all disclosing this to each other. And that some of them felt that the empathy circle activity was a veiled attempt at trying to do well being in the workplace, and they felt a little bit resentful about it.
So in the empathy circle, was a few employees, I guess, a surprising number, talked about their plans to leave or tentative plans to leave. And they felt that the empathy circle practice or the attempt was, you said, a veiled attempt to sort of, I think paper over things.
Yes. And I also had in the group two people for whom English wasn't their first language. And I could sense that the task was raising some anxieties for them, because they were trying very hard to do it in perfect English. And I think that can raise anxiety for a non English speaker sometimes.
Yeah, so we'll also some people for whom English was not their first language. And so that presented some communication challenges, and also a raising of stress.
Yeah. And so I was surprised when I received one of the emails saying that one of the participants wants to become a facilitator because I thought, Wow, I'm happy that they had a good experience. And also, I think this empathy circle rather than generate a lot of empathy kind of generated stress with some of the participants, and also perhaps generated a sense of resentment towards the organization. So I left thinking, God, I hope this empathy circle hasn't undone the whole organization. But one of the participants is really interested in taking the actual process further, which is really reassuring.
Yeah. So upon, you know, experiencing and leaving the circle, you are really concerned about the level of stress and dissension that arose. You were concerned that using the empathy circle, and bringing forward these things out into the open might further create more dissension, but you were very surprised there was one participant who actually wanted to become an empathy circle facilitator. So you're seeing that the the actual reaction was more nuanced than you had originally thought?
Yes, thank you.
Okay. I'll talk to BJ.
Okay, thank you. Okay,
great. Thanks, PJ. Yeah. Thinking about Alex's experience. So there is that aspect, that when you start to discuss things, and you invite people to be authentic, it, you know, it exposes things that sometimes are, you know, people are just kind of not talking about, I'll stop there.
I think what I heard you say is that regarding what Alex experienced on last week for that company, was that you feel that sometimes when people start to express things, that these are typically things that they've been wanting to discuss, but not discussing,
right, but did bring in the open, like if you plan to leave a company or the company that has sort of real life, and political implications. If you're talking about that, it sounds like the company knew that there was some dissatisfaction. So you know, so it was interesting to see how the structure kind of held together through this. I'll stop there.
I think what I heard you say is that the company realized that there was an issue with the staff not being satisfied with the work environment. As a result, they brought in empathy, listening servos as an opportunity to just try to try something maybe that they haven't tried before. And sometimes politics can or cannot be involved. However, the outcome was that some people were happy, some people were not.
Yeah, I think that, as they you know, as they reflect, I think that there would be more satisfied that that would be my, my best guess. So, yeah, and it's important to understand, when there's that level of stress and dissension, that, as Edwin says, that this is a basic practice, that there's a, there's a difference, sometimes a fine line between empathy circle, you know, some people feel will solve their problems, which sometimes it will, just doing that. But rather, I think I would say that empathy circles create the basis of communication, trusting communication, from which you then can deal with the particulars of the problem.
I think what I heard you say that with regarding empathy, listening circles in the workplace, once there's an opportunity to create trust in the working environment, it can enhance the entire work environment and the relationship that all employees have within that corporation as an opportunity to just try something different.
Yeah, and then the other part is that it's a first step there. I mean, I've seen tremendous transformation transformations happen in the empathy circle. But sometimes when there's a conflict, that's really roar and tense. You need to basically have subsequent circles or there are other steps that need to be taken to address the problem.
I think what I heard you said is that when it comes to empathy, listening circles is the first step. Yeah. And it can be seen as our you have seen it become transformative and can transform that and environment however, it's intense. But it does and can bring about change in a positive manner.
Yeah, and you may need to create several steps, like several circles. And that's my time. Thanks, PJ. I feel fully heard.
Okay. Ah,
Edwin, will you be my listener? Okay, so what are the most valuable learning and benefits from doing the training? For me, there are several benefits. And what what comes to mind as a value is that just the ongoing process, that it's a never ending, ongoing process. And as far as benefits go, of course, it has helped me in my work environment as a mediator as an internal HR consultant. However, there are so many areas and facets where there's room for improvement, like in schools and and police departments in places that have not even thought about utilizing. So when I saw that email, regarding that workplace environment, I'll stop there.
Okay, so in terms of the learnings, there's a lot of learnings that are out there. One is it's the empathy is an ongoing sort of a process. And you see that it can be applied to many different situations, schools, workplaces and other places. And there's something about when you saw an email, there was something about the email, I
want to say the the experience that Alex had with that corporation, I think all companies should do that, whether they're having issues with their staff or not.
So the the Alex's experience is all companies should be using this practice whether you got to conflict or not.
Yes, and I think for HR directors, it could really help them ease their load and that burden regarding EEO filings and things like that, if they were to incorporate empathy listening circles,
and HR directors could get a lot of benefits because it would help with their something EEO. I'm not quite sure what that is, but help with their filings.
When an employee has a dispute at a company or corporation, they can file what is called E
O. Okay, so that you see it would be helpful for dealing with conflicts that have been filed as E OHS.
Absolutely. So my next step, what I can say is, right now I am a, I was selected to be in the city of garland leadership program.
So we're just talking about your next steps with the city of garland leadership program right.
Within our group, this is a nine month program. And within the group, we have decided to do a service community service project for the entire city of garland.
So your leadership group is going to do this city service program.
The city of garland, we have a service project.
So it's actually just a project a service project that you're going to be doing.
Right, and I am leading the health and wellness committee. So what I have decided to do is to go into the high schools. And what we're going to do is offer empathy, listening circles to the high schoolers 10th 11th and 12th graders.
Wow. Yeah, so you're gonna you're taking the role you're gonna do is take the empathy circles into the school into ninth 10th 11th graders,
yes, as a co facilitator for the health and wellness committee, because our group is called health and wellness. So it's health and wellness within the schools.
So it's bad health and wellness committee, and that's the topic that's the category is going to come under Fostering health and wellness.
Right, and that will be empathy listening circle so that they can feel heard.
Yeah, so it's like that's for the students, the young people to feel heard.
Yes. And I know that bill, you have Bill has some experience with facilitating empathy, listening to circles in school, so I will definitely do an outreach to Bill
and you are going to be you know, videos doing empathy in the schools work, so you're going to outreach to him connect with him about it?
Yes. So I'm also as you know, I always talk about empathy listening circles within the police departments. So that will be one thing that I still say it's a next step.
So you're talking about the next steps you got to empathy in the schools project you're working on and also interested in empathy with the police.
Yes. So that that I'll leave that there. I feel heard.
Okay, great. Kara. I'm listening. Yeah, I'm excited about the BJs empathy in the schools. I know she sets her mind to it. She's really do a great job at it. I was so impressed with the beat Shea's enthusiasm and energy and insight and support for empathy circles.
I hear that you're really excited for what BJ is doing. And garland and you know that anything she sets her mind to, she always shows up and brings the best to it.
Yeah, and the, what both Bill and BJ are saying about empathy and organizations are talking about, you know, Alex's organization. And this is, you know, works for any organization is that, you know, if there's already tensions and stresses and so forth, when you do the first empathy circle, it's a bit like there's, you know, undepressed, you know, under, there's a volcano, so you're opening the channel for the stuff to come out. So it's, it can be a lot to a lot can come up a lot of, you know, frustrations and stuff can come out that point.
I hear that speaking specifically to Alex's situation, but really to any organization in general, when you bring empathy in and there is tension, it has a way of bubbling up and coming out right away.
Yeah, there's sort of a purging phase, right? Like, all this stuff comes out. And that's how we say Say whatever you want, you know, name call, whatever, we're not here to suppress it, what but once it gets heard, you know, that frustration, that anxiety, once it gets heard, it starts transforming it, but you got to kind of have space for that to happen.
So that's why the whole reason that the speaker can say they can curse, they can yell, they can say whatever it is that they need to say, because that's part of the purging process, so that they can move to what's next.
And then the other thing is, is, you know, for a company to not wait until, you know, it's things are so, you know, built up, but to start maybe, you know, way down, you know, upstream, I guess, when when people are first getting started in the company, they have empathy circles to say, Hey, what's going well, with with you, what are you really enjoying, hear? What's your vision for the, for the company, and so you're you're you're having positive topics. To start with. And in, you're kind of building that container of an app containers, everyone's sort of learning and trusting the process, right, that's creating a bit of helping build that container we talked about last week.
So I hear that you recognize that companies that do that early on, you know, before there's real, real problems, when there's just the murmur of problems, it establishes that sort of foundational trust in the process, so that it's something they can snowball with and continue on. Yeah. And
also, when you're kind of doing that purging, you're also having an added stress of people learning the process, too. So you have the purging plus the stress of a couple rounds. So you have double sort of stress. And so you want to sort of break that up to make it, you know, to, again, it's that container, right? If you had the pre if you had, if everybody's already familiar with the practice, then you're sort of already got a leg up, when when you're starting to deal with the conflict.
Back to the container, it's that the first time through the first couple of time throughs a lot tends to come up because you're still learning and you're figuring out the process and you're so you're learning a new process, as well as exposing some of your feelings out authentically and upright. And that causes extra tension earlier.
It's more of the stress of learning a new process. It's that's that's the other stress
and stress is learning a new process and then being authentic about how you're feeling. Yeah,
I feel hurt.
Right. I will speak to Alex, we'll just go around the room. Please, listening.
I was surprised to hear that you found negative people in yours. I did notice that people were cautious on how they phrased things. Especially when it came to work specific. My my group tended to then move on to like, what do we love about life? But then I was surprised when I heard that that was your experience.
So you're reflecting on some of the things that I had said during my turn and noticing that you felt surprised at some of the content that came out in the group that I was facilitating about negative experiences
that I do I think sort of to build in advancing be just points that that's not an uncommon first step. It's that bit of stuff. I mean, that's it even if it was lip service for wellness It forced wellness to the forefront.
So you're saying in that example, even if it was lip service to wellness, at least wellness was being discussed?
Yeah. So I'm pretty impressed with a company that that would even put that out there. Most companies know that there is absolutely grumblings and rumblings under the surface because nobody's ever always happy. So to put yourself in a spot where you're like, okay, just say it, and you're safe to say it.
So, it's not uncommon for people to feel some levels of dissatisfaction with their workplace. And sometimes companies are aware that that happens at any level. And in any case, but for you, it was a good indication of, of a good company that was willing to open up this process and have some of those grievances spoken about.
That's how this culture of empathy perpetuates and propagates is, is through that exact situation, people are upset, let's talk about it.
And for you, that's how empathy grows. It's when people are upset, giving them a space to discuss that.
And I think that's the magic of my big lesson, I guess, take away from this entire round what this whole six weeks was it really not having to come up with solutions allowing people to safe space to just speak. I mean, the solutions almost magically appear, it's incredible.
So when we don't respond to people with solutions, they can be solutions themselves can kind of organically manifest just based on the process and the way it works.
I say a lot that I believe in people because I believe they are experts in their own life. They're the only ones who's been doing it as long as they have. And when you give them the space to be that expert, and hear themselves.
It's like that you can watch it's magic. You watch it, and they're like, Oh, I heard that I heard that come out of my mouth. What if I did something different.
So when we give people the opportunity to talk through their own dilemmas, they're often reminded of the fact that they are the own experts in their own life and can internally come up with the solutions that they might need.
And being a giant narrative, I fell into neuroplasticity in epigenetics, rabbit hole recently and my work and the empathy stuff fits in with it. It literally changes the way your brain is programmed.
And you went down a rabbit hole around epigenetics and empathy and neuroplasticity. And you surprised or maybe not so surprised to find out that empathy totally fits in those dimensions as well. Okay, Brenda, will you listen to me, please?
Yes.
I really value everyone's contributions on my reflections so far. And maybe I'll just add one or two other things related to that, that that came up for me afterwards.
At think what I heard you say you values everyone contribution to the empathy listening circles that were held last week at that corporation, and that you have some other things that you'd like to discuss and talk about.
Yeah. And some of the participants were saying things like, well, will the company ever know about this? So or, I really hope that they take these lessons from what we're saying today and do something about it. And in some ways, I felt those questions were directed towards me, however, more out of a curiosity sense, rather than any accusatory or anxious kind of thoughts that they wanted to share.
I think what I heard you say is that they were wondering whether or not the process will be private and confidential, or if it will be something that would be shared with the company or the corporation. And they maybe felt that you were a we're not a person that will relay information back to the company or a corporation about the empathy listener circle.
Yeah, but it was actually less about confidentiality and more about wanting the company to get the message. So they said things like, Well, we hope that the company acts on the things that we've said today, but of course, I'm not going to tell the company what was said in my empathy circles. So there really is no way for the company to know about what came up. If unless the participants themselves, bring it up with the company.
Okay, so what I heard you say it was less about confidentiality and more about the employees wanting to make sure that the company knew how they felt and what their feelings and thoughts were about the workplace.
Yeah. And I did feel a bit uncomfortable during the final debrief, because the the sense that I was getting all the meaning that I was making from what was said in the final debrief. And this could just totally be because I just been in that circle. I mean, I might have had a very narrow frame on it. But the sense that I got was like, we've done, we've done well being now everyone go away, and you're well, and we've ticked our wellbeing box. And based on what everyone had said, in my circle, I kind of felt a bit worried for the participants.
Okay, so I think what I heard you say is that you felt a certain way for the participants based on how the empathy circle was, was, was going their thoughts and their feelings and the things that they said, they just kind of want to make sure that it got across to the company out of cooperation, but you felt a little uncomfortable in your spirit because of the information that you were being given. Yeah, share.
Well, yeah, and I noticed that discomfort during the debrief when the the meaning that I was making from the debrief was the company saying, we've done well being now go off and be well, we've done it.
Okay. So I think when you heard you say is during the debrief, you won't come to because the company felt like, Okay, we've done this in the listener circles now go back to work. Yeah,
basically. And whether or not that's true, or whether or not that's based on the past 30 minutes that I'd had with these peoples saying, this is exactly what's going to happen. And then it seemed to happen. It made me kind of concerned on on the part of the participants, but I mean, really, I don't work for that company. I don't know these people are not going to know these people or work for this company. So there's a very healthy and normal boundary and sense of detachment, but I was kind of like, Ooh, this is the this is tricky for these people that work in this company.
Okay, so I think what I heard you say twice is that during the debrief, you were a little uncomfortable, and what the participants in the empathy listening circle, suggested or stated might happen actually happened. And whether it was a lack of empathy or sympathy on part of the company or the corporations, what they suggest what they say it was going to happen actually happen, and you witnessed that, and you felt a certain way for the participants.
Yeah. Thank you, Brenda. Hopefully had. Okay,
um, we Oh, will you be my listener?
Sure, yes.
Okay. I want to talk about what's alive for you right now. So this is February Black History Month, right.
Yeah. So this is February Black History Month.
Yeah. And so I'm, I'm a member of a group called Dallas area paralegal Association, because I'm a paralegal.
Okay, and you're a member of the Dara this area of paralegals.
Yes. I've been a member for over over 20 years, I've been a member of the Dallas area paralegal Association. And this is the first year that they've ever celebrate Black History Month.
So you've been a member of this organization for 20 years, and they're just recently coming awake to the fact that this is Black History Month.
Ah, yes. Last night. So apparently, the association has vendors. These are people who participate that give them business or they get business from the paralegal Association, because the paralegal work at all of these different law firms.
Right. So you were talking about the the paralegal vendors or people who are clients or have business dealings working at law firms?
Yes. So I just really want to shout out to US legal support for supporting Black paralegals in Dallas Fort Worth area and have an awesome vendor event for Black History Month.
So yeah, so you really wanted to give a shout out to probably get the title of us Dallas paralegal Association. Close that correct me. But you read for really, you know, reaching out including the vendors and really doing a good job of addressing the Black History Month.
US legal support is a vendor.
Okay, US legal support. That's a vendor
who's the sponsor the paralegal event last night?
Okay, so the vendor is sponsor the paralegal event. I see.
And I often think that when it comes to all work environments, okay, diversity, equity and inclusion, isn't it has been incorporated into a lot of companies, right.
Okay, so diversity, equity and inclusion has been, you know, corporated into a lot of corporate cultures.
Yes. And I think that if there were empathy lessness circles and all of these environments and all these workplaces in HR, there would be no need for diversity, equity and inclusion.
So you're saying that if they had practiced empathy circles, they wouldn't need for these specialized programs?
Okay. If empathy listening circles were incorporated into HR environments,
okay. So you want empathy circles incorporated into HR environments,
if they were incorporated into HR environments? Okay, if they were, there will be no need for diversity, equity and inclusion.
There would be no need for diversity, equity and inclusion.
Yes. Because, believe it or not, for some black people, diversity, equity and inclusion lead leave some black people walking away feeling worse than they did when they started.
Yeah, so some of these programs for diversity, equity inclusion, leave African American people feeling or black people feeling worse than when it started.
Some African American people feel a little bit different than when when it first started.
Yeah. So it can have the opposite effect for some African American people. Yeah,
not off. But in the long run, I just think that with black history month, that's even the city of Meridian has started to do more. And I've been living in Garland for 25 years. So time is a good thing.
Yeah, so you're seeing progress. You've lived in Garland for 25 years. And so you're seeing that they're doing more for Black History Month than they did before. So you see a progression turn? That's a good thing.
Yes. And I think every culture should be valued, not just blacks, you know, Asian Indians, everybody that mean all culture should be valued, but look at in the state of Texas, what it is doing no more diversity, equity and inclusion at universities in Texas. How sad.
Yeah. So you're feeling that every culture has value and should be celebrated? Asian Americans and Latina a several, and that in you are also talking about the I guess, the crackdown by the state government on college courses, talking about equity inclusion, and also multiculturalism. I feel hurt. Okay. Not quite, but I'll try if you have any corrections, we're good. Okay. All right. All right. Care. I'm looking, right. So I'm really excited. What, what about what Pj is doing? Because that is my thing is empathy in schools. I'll stop there,
I hear you're super excited what BJ is doing because that's 100% your jam empathy in schools,
right. And I'd be happy to help and support her in any way I put my email in she, we can just talk by email, or just have another thing or she wants to come to my empathy and schools thing, or send somebody to that, that's fine. And, and then the other thing I put in was a document where I did research on empathy in schools. I'll stop there. So a lot.
So I hear that you put into the comments, all of your contact information so that she can reach out to you however, it makes sense to her. And but you also put a link for the research in the empathy school. So you have both the XOOM course, that's posted, as well as a research program that's
posted. Yeah, this is a document fairly rough, but basically, it makes two, you know, assertions. One, that empathic listening or empathy or social emotional learning, has positive ass out outcomes for students. I cite a research document and then also adoption by a major institution, such as the California Department of Education. Let's stop there for the first,
so it makes two points. And the first one is that empathy in schools is incredibly impactful for children. It cites a couple of sources such as the use of California,
right? And then the next assertion I made is that the empathy circle is an excellent tool for developing oral language, which helps struggling readers because if you can't decode you don't get The complexity of read the written word, however, if you can speak, and listen, you do get that. So you have intellectual development without having to know the fundamentals of reading. So when you get those you are intellectual development is up to snuff.
So here there's two, there's two factors. One is the social, social, emotional aspect. And the second is how it actually helps with reading that you the legitimately even without training, any reading techniques, you're teaching the brain how to learn and understand, which then applies to their reading.
Right, and that being a special education teacher, with our, our low level readers that we got a lot, also had a low level of oral language development. And in
special ed your specialty, it's very common for them to have the low emotional as well as the low reading and this impacts both
right. And then the next challenge that you'll have is how to institute it, you're not going to sit down, you know, 30 kindergarteners for two hours and expect to have
you're just never going to sit down a room full of kindergarteners for two hours. Right? It's what I heard.
So, so what I've done is that I've broken it up. And there are several ways of instant, like, you can train the teachers, which would be very much like the course we're taking now, you know, for adults, but implementing in the classroom, sometimes you have to take several steps, or piggyback on various things that they're already doing in the classroom.
So I heard that when it comes to instituting it to actually applying it in a classroom, there's a couple of great steps that you've discovered. One is educating the teachers in a similar situation to this. And then the or the other option is, like baby steps or toddler steps where you piggyback on stuff they're already doing and just give little bits at a time.
Yeah, and I see my time is up. So thank you, I feel familiar.
I will happen, will you be my listener? Listening? Wow, there was so much good stuff in that last round. I'm gonna need just a second to talk out loud and have you reflect so I can collect my thoughts.
You just need a little bit of time to collect your thoughts because there was so much good stuff in this last round.
Sort of BJs point with the bipoc community and Black History Month. Until she said it, I didn't make the connection and empathy and how well it works. within that space. One of my clients does big work in that department. And oh, my God, yes. Like, what a perfect tool to heal all cultures, please show up, shut up and participate.
So you're really, really you hadn't thought about it, but just the role of empathy and in dei work, and that it's like, yeah, this just works. Yeah, shut up and do an empathy circle.
Show up. Let's do this together. Yeah. And then in the schools.
I mean, obviously, you're never going to sit down in a room full of kindergarteners, hours. But I never even would have considered piggybacking it on things that people are already doing, which I think is really accessible
to you think about the empathy in the in kindergarten, that you're not going to get the kids to do that to our circle, but it could be built in with other sorts of programs.
Yeah. And that, that then gets me thinking because I do leadership development. So the same thing, if you're developing leaders, it's super easy to develop leaders at a C suite or above, because they have lots of times for lots of meetings, but it operations, they're like kindergarteners, you're not going to sit them down for two hours ever.
So the C suite executives, we're going to have time for doing some empathic listening or empathy circles. But the operations that are a lot of stress for time, they're not going to be two hours. So
it's racing on on. I knew I wanted to add it into my coursework as a like a bonus thing, but now I'm like, how else can I fit it in there? Like, reflect that back to me? What did you hear?
Yeah, see, you're really thinking of how you can work build it into to your leadership, work, that kind of the act of listening so you hadn't really thought of it so much, but now you're really starting to think about this and just trying to come up with it. ideas of how to do that.
And it's thanks to the empathy circle hearing it was said over said multiple times, and hearing the thoughts may allows those connections, right, and you choose to reflect first rather than react, which changes your brain pathways.
Yeah, so it's being here in the circle and hearing these ideas and being able to get heard about is actually kind of opened up some maybe creative ideas for you creators. You know,
I, you know,
I feel like Larry love has coined this phrase, but I love empathy circle.
So Larry has a copyright trademark, but you love him to the circles. Yeah.
I don't know that I have anything else to say? I think I feel fully heard. I'm just my mind is now racing. And I'm like, okay, as soon as this is done, I'm gonna pull up my work and start.
Oh, yeah, your mind is just racing, a lot of ideas going, you want to get to your work and just start working on this. Okay, write that speak to Alex. Lucy, yeah, so I was thinking in terms of accompany like, we're, I'm the empathy Center has been very sort of loosely organized. But now because of this retreat center, I gotta get really formal, setting up a formal nonprofit. So I am bringing empathy circles as a core foundational practice into it,
because of the retreat that has kind of all of a sudden come on to your plate, it's accelerated and deepened the need to be thinking strategically and in a in a structured way about empathy circles, about empathy, the workplace, and empathy circles have formed a part of that right from the beginning.
Yeah, so the first thing we've been doing is holding these visioning empathy circles for how to create the retreat center. So we put it out to the community, you know, just started with the empathy community, I mean, the community in Santa Barbara, so we had neighbors coming into empathy circles, and now we're putting it out to the empathy community. So from the very ground up, we're starting with this practice, and teaching people how to how to use it.
So you're making it available to the communities that might be involved in numerous ways with the project. And it's important to you to embed empathy into the way that the organization starts from the very beginning.
And it's what I'm seeing in terms of the company that you are working with, right, if they had started way back at the beginning, all these processes would have been in place, and they might have had on headed off a lot of the conflict that, you know, bubbling up now or kind of frustrations.
Yeah, and it's a contrasting example, because when empathy is embedded right from the beginning, it can heat off some of the other challenges or frustrations when empathy is bought in much later down the line.
And for the center, we'd like to have different departments like an empathy in schools department, and you know, form a team that could be funded and get donors for that. So you know, for Bill and Brenda are up somebody just think and was dropped out. Let me move her to. You are with Ruth's, and yeah, hi, can
you put me back so? So no problem?
Yeah, so yeah, I lost my train of thought. Okay.
Um, so your aim is to have different departments, including a department for empathy in schools, where it would be part of the work that that department does is to seek grants and projects.
Yeah. So we're trying to get, you know, start with these visioning circles and then move into these projects. And then have someone who's like the leader for the team leader for that actually trying to get them a paid position, that they organize the the project and then get volunteers but try to get, you know, paid positions for the teams, we really need, you know, people to get, be able to make a living off of this.
Yeah. So it's important to you that as part of the organization, people are compensated and paid for their time and can make a living from the work that they're doing. And with the paid position, that paid position would then be responsible for recruiting volunteers into that department.
Yeah, so I hope you all will come to those circles. As you know, we're holding him on Fridays. And I think we're going to be starting to do him on Saturdays in this time slot and a couple of weeks, just to come start brainstorming ideas. We have a couple of people going to be putting together the aggregating all the ideas, Linda and Kathy are going to start working on that. So think of other project areas, you know, like, empathy and business, right, and we get a team lead for that. And then we get it as with this organization, I think we'll be able to get donors, you know, that'll give money to sort of pay for, for departments, like you know, projects like that. So we can be sort of a focal point for it, as well as have online and in person sort of workshops and trainings. Yeah, so yeah, let the Organize here, but it's all starting with the empathy circle with the visioning circles.
So the visioning circles, which are run as an empathy circle, are really core and integrated part of how you want the whole organization to run. And as you start to plan out what this organization might like to look like, you can imagine different departments that form part of the core of the way that the organization is run. And another example might be empathy business. And then you anticipate that organizations or individuals or donors would become interested in funding these departments and because of its direct relevance to the work that they're doing. The circles are probably going to be run on Saturdays, and you'd love for more people to be invested in the idea and to be participating as they can
good listener. And also, I'll say that, I do see that I think that empathy circles are sort of an alternative to dei and SEL, that can actually bring conservatives and liberals together. It's like the both sides don't feel like they're being heard by the other. But if we can bring him into a circle where they feel like they're heard, I think we can bridge the divides like bridge, the divides in school boards and all that, instead of having this sort of shouting matches, small groups, people really just listening, using the empathy circle, I think can really bridge the political divide. And that's like another whole project group, too, we could form.
So another whole project or department group, could be looking at the way that empathy is a core component of reorienting the work that dei departments do along more egalitarian kind of open ways. And as you envision this particular empathy organization, you can imagine that empathy will be really effective in initiating some of those ideas.
Yeah, I feel fully heard. I think I must be on my time too.
Yeah, sorry. I stopped showing the time because I thought it might have been distracting but I can go back to that if it goes on too long. Bill, will you be mad?
Yeah, happy to.
Yeah, um, I had seen it once email about the visioning circles. And it's something that I'm really interested and curious about and and genuinely want to join.
So you saw Edwin's email that the visioning circles and it's something that really piques your interest, and you want to join?
Yeah, and I think that leaving the fabric of empathy into the core components of any NGO model is an alternative and an emergent way of working. So
So you think that incorporate I'm sorry, I'm a bit distracted into business, be a really good emergent way to get it, you know, really adopted and to spread the practice?
Yeah. And I think it's probably an uncommon way of working. And it's also emerging way of working. And ng NGOs that adopt this practice, from the outset kind of position themselves really well, to ensure that it's really integrated in terms of communication practice across teams.
Yeah, so you're saying that this is an emergent practice of this whole concept, both the empathy circle but also broader, I think empathy, social emotional communication skills, things like that, and NGOs that incorporate that into their food. Their formation, you know, strongly then reinforce it in their day to day workings.
Yeah, um, I think it's like a refreshing kind of idea. And I also think it can be really tricky to do not allow hierarchies to develop, I think that's a really intentional organizational decision that people have to make. And that can be a really nice idea. And sometimes hierarchy is important for getting decisions done. And people assuming roles of power is good as well.
Yeah. So you think that it's a really excellent idea. But there is some sort of nuances and challenges in the sense that there's really no hierarchy and an empathy circle. But there are hierarchies in business. And sometimes, leaders have to assert your authority in order to get something specifically done. So you have to kind of balance those, those two aspects.
Yeah. And I really like a phrase by an author, her name is Adrian Marie Brown. And she wrote a book called emergent strategy. And if I had to recommend one resource to Edwin to, to guide this development in practice, I would say like, there's no better tool than this particular book called emergent strategy.
So you're talking about this book called emergent strategies by Anna Marie brown, maybe I got that wrong. And I know Brown was last name. And so you think that that's an excellent book as a reference for what Edwin is doing as far as trying to create?
Yeah, and one of the phrases that she has is inch wide, mile deep, as opposed to mile wide inch deep.
So she has inch wide mile deep as opposed to the usual mile wide inch deep?
Yeah. And she's referring to the way that many NGOs and businesses and organizations and self employed businesses tend to want to spread themselves out and spread their vision and spread out their platform. But that tends to result in a kind of surface level or not very deep engagement with people and communities.
So she's talking about the usual mile wide inch deep, which is what kind of a metaphor for what companies try to do and try to spread widely at the beginning, and things like that, but that it's not very deep, things aren't reinforced very deeply. There's not a lot of deep connection.
Yes, exactly. And so the alternative of inch wide mile deep, I think he's really meaningful in generating long lasting connections that can be sustained over time. And choosing areas of focus that generate and feed into these cultures of connection, I think is a really strategic decision.
So even though the spread might go slowly in the opposite model, inch wide mile deep, the depth of those communications pays dividends over time, in the amount of communication effectiveness, people have a sense of community and shared purpose.
Yeah, thank you. Do
I feel fully heard? Okay.
Talk to BJ. Yes.
Great. Yeah. So to, you know, a couple of things here at Peking. So one of the things you're going to be doing this with high school students, so they're fairly sophisticated. So, you know, almost an adult will stop there.
The Empathy listening circles that I'll be facilitating With their help, and a couple of months, with teenagers who are listening skills are interesting.
Right, right. Well, they're fairly sophisticated. But one of the reasons so one of the adaptations that I've suggested is, is right, from, like, standard learning. Goals, that certainly the California Department of Education, but many other departments, and they call it literary analysis. I'll stop there.
Okay, I think what I heard you say is that one of the standard learning goals are called literary or literary analysis,
right? And so all too features are reading some sort of book, whether it be a textbook or a novel with the class. So that's an excellent way to target the level of vocabulary and language that students have. So for instance, you could take a kindergarten class that's reading Dr. Seuss, like sneetches on the beaches, which is about racism. And you could ask the kids, how do the sneetches feel out of the characters feel? That does two things, it starts to develop that skill. But it also reduces stress because they don't have to talk about themselves. Sometimes, when kids are in stressful situations, you remember, the kids who've been abused, they use a sock puppet, and they can tell what happens to the sock puppet, but they can't talk about what happens to themselves. While by using these characters, students can start to explore in a safe way. You know, what's going on the different layers that a character might be feeling? Sorry, that's a lot that
I think what I heard you say is that all teachers normally have a book that they're reading, and that one of the things that you were saying. One example would be the book about by Dr. Seuss, that talks about racism. And for the students, if they were to visualize one of the characters, and to discuss that character, it might ease their their feelings of feeling stressed, if they were to utilize or visualize that character, instead of what they're feeling, I think is what I heard you saying?
Yeah, so it's me, I have to relate a personal experience, which might make them feel vulnerable. They could take the experience of the character and refer to that.
Yeah, yes. Refer to the character instead of the actual. Right.
Yeah. And so for and another way and I have examples of this sorry, I have a lot so it's like bulldoze my head. And when you open the gate, watch out.
I think whatever you say is that there are a lot of files downloading, right?
That's true. Yeah. Another one like, for instance, for a more sophisticated group. I've used a example from a Navajo poet, Shantou Begay. Beautiful artist and poet. And so he talks about, for instance, seeing his mother's lace, which he sees as the aftermath of a snowstorm on the desert where there's just these little filigrees of snow and ice, and he calls it mother's lace. And that was that would be a way and how does he feel? How does the author feel about that? You know what's happening, and that creates insight. And then I'm done. Thanks. Okay. You were
referring to the poet, Navajo, Navajo poet book, sourdough burrito.
I'm sorry, the author's name is Szanto Begay.
Shante Begay regarding the mother's lace and prefer net and seeing that as a metaphor,
right, right. Thanks. I feel fully.
Okay. Kara, will you be my listening?
I'm listening.
Okay. As we were sitting here talking, I was just thinking about dollar signs and diversity, equity inclusion in the workplace. And I see myself getting a contract for a million dollars. Are you in?
Sorry. Okay.
I'm sorry, we pulled you out of the room,
just and what I'm here for.
But who was it? Jin?
De drops. I saw that she hasn't come back.
And then it's for people show an unassigned when I pulled up the
row on the sign. That's our room that we're in the main room,
and I couldn't see your name. So I didn't know where to go.
Oh, yeah, I did move. I don't know. So. No, did you want to join another group when we got about? No, no.
We were just concerned about her.
Yeah, we'll be keeping an eye out. She hasn't come back. So I don't know.
Yeah, she froze. And then they went away. And that was it.
And we didn't know whether she lost us because she froze. She lost us because she was upset.
Or she's a one with the internet was, you
know, I don't have internet problem. She was she wasn't upset but she was anxious about something else that she had to do today. Okay, so she talked a little bit about that. And she was upset that she couldn't be mindful in this spot because she was thinking about whatever was whatever.
You're just here for another 15 minutes. The three of you are you.
Okay, okay. You don't need you anymore. We don't make it Right.
Or does it start at the top?
Yes. And with leadership, it can be defined based on your experiences or your skills, or I'm just wondering about that.
You're wondering, definitions for leadership is skill based? Is it project based? Is it results based?
Yes. And and when you're in a leadership program, I often wonder, should you be getting any feedback? Or do you just continue to do what you do and never get feedback? So it's feedback required when you're in a leadership program?
Your question about feedback, like you're going along and doing your thing, but you're not really getting any feedback on whether it's working. So you just keep going forward? Or, or should feedback be a part of that?
Yes. So it's a learning experience. It's a learning experience. But back to diversity, equity and inclusion within the workplace. I love love, love, empathy, listening circles.
So the leadership experience is quite quite a learning experience and bringing up lots of questions for you. But then back to D and I and empathy circles, and you just love, love, love empathy circles.
Yes. And I am super excited about it was a project in San Bernardino. And I'm glad that they're going to change the time so that I can participate at a time that works best for my schedule.
And you're super excited about what everyone's doing over in Santa Barbara, and you are even more excited because you get to actually participate since there's going to be an opening that it fits into your schedule.
Yes. Because I looked at the place online, and I'm thinking Oh, my God, I could write my book. And that room right over there.
Is immediately looking at this. Oh, yeah, I could do this thing. That would be great with this thing. Yeah. Yeah,
video online is nice. So I'm super excited about that program, and everything that's coming together for that.
So you love the video online, and you're really excited for
another like what I really want. Another thing I really love about empathy listening circles is that you always learn something new about the people that you're in the room with.
And one of the things you love about empathy circles is how much you learn about the people in there. You always come away with something new about the people there.
Yeah. And I think for each of us, when it's something that we're passionate about our file, start to download. And we're all you know what I mean? We're just like, all over the place with the thoughts.
And in reference to Bell, yeah, well, all of us as we get excited about something, all of those files have to download and process and we kind of know,
all over the place. I feel heard.
All right, I will
speak to who also spoke and hasn't listened to Alex, have you talked recently? Let's talk to Alex. Yeah,
okay. Yes, I'm 100% down for the million dollar contract. Let's make the ENI and empathy life. Yes.
What you're saying is that you've already spent a million dollars, and you don't mind doing the work around empathy, NDI as a part of that million dollar
ready for a million dollar contract to do DNI and empathy.
You're, you're ready for it?
Yes, I
probably have spent maybe not a million dollars, but a lot on empathy and things of that nature. But I'm ready to turn it around and start trying to put it back.
You'd like to replenish what you've already spent on empathy and this kind of work.
I want to talk a little distraction.
BJ brought leadership up and you know, I already that's my jam. So now my brain is is whirling kind of like Bill when we start talking about doing education in school.
Yeah, so BJs mentioned of leadership kind of makes your brain start to work a lot in the same way that it did for Bill when he was talking about empathy in schools. And
so I want to address a couple of the questions that she brought up because I have answers, and I might as well share them, or at least my opinions. I guess it starts with I'm going to share my BS my belief systems, you may choose if they work for you or not.
Yeah, so you want to share some of your belief systems that relate to BJs questions because you feel like you've got some knowledge on this area.
So when I when I first my beginning course is an empowerment course, because I think all leadership starts with self and empowerment, which is kind of a bottom up situation, but it's really more a whole existence process.
So part of the work that you do, you like to start with empowerment, because that's a really meaningful and important framework upon which to build any of the rest of the learning
Yeah. And
while I know that every single person's experience is unique and individual, and that is the diversity that makes like the rainbow that it is. Also, we all kind of go through some pretty standard similar processes.
So you know that, obviously everyone is different, and individuals are all different to each other. But part of what you've noticed is that there are some really common themes.
So one of the ways I like to empower leaders, I point out that being in leadership and being successful in any business that you want is as simple as growing up and making tea.
Let me see if I got this. So you speak to many leaders, and you like to say or remind them that being in leadership is as simple as growing up and making tea.
Simple is not easy.
Putting. But it really is that simple. If you have grown up, you have experienced what it is to be at an operations level, like a toddler learning how to use the nuts and bolts, you've experienced what it is to be in management being independent, but responsible. That's like being a child, right. And then adulthood is just like leadership, where there's lots of expectations and very little training.
So it's important not to conflate simple and easy because they're very different things. But there's an analogy that you like to use, which is related to growing up and making tea. And there are different stages of growing up, which can translate directly onto the leadership process and practice ultimately culminating in being an adult, where you have a lot of responsibilities, and pretty much no training.
And tea. I mean, we've all made tea. And there's lots of stuff, I think steps and tools and things that go skills that go into making tea. And it's a process so anything could go wrong at any time. But also, we have a mindset that, well, it's just tea and if something goes wrong, I'll fix it, which is leadership.
So the analogy here, it goes towards the process of cooking dinner. And as people cook dinner, there are a million things that could go wrong, unexpected things might happen. Things might get in the way something might interrupt the process. But what enables us to keep going is that we often think that it's just enough, it's just one meal. So what's the worst that can really happen if I stuck up this one meal? Wait, Edmund, will you be my listener? Um, I will have the last segment finished my last segment by talking about what I've got out of the training. And I think that I've got a huge amount out of this training, I am actually really surprised at what I've got out of it.
Do you want to talk about what you got out of the training, and it's a huge amount that you're in, there's a real surprise that you got so much out of it.
Yeah. And I initially was a bit reluctant to join the training because my schedule is so overloaded. And I feel in general, really overwhelmed with the amount of work and study that I have to do. And so sometimes when I commit myself to do something else, I feel a bit resentful about that extra commitment because it eats into my time for doing other things that I really need to do.
You You have a lot to do you if you take on another project, you start feeling resentful about that other other project, and because it's eating into your time for everything else.
Yes. And so I initially thought that I might be sitting down on Saturdays at 1pm. And going like alright, I've just got to get through the next three hours. And let's get this over and done lathe and here's this thing that I've committed to and why did I do that again, when I always say I'm gonna take on my stuff. Yeah. So
you're anticipating Are you gonna have all that resentment wired? Am I doing this? I gotta get this commitment. I gotta do it. And so yeah, you'd be frustrated.
Yeah. But actually, the total opposite has happened. And I have really looked forward to this time, and I had to run some errands this morning. And I noticed that I was like, Hey, I'm really looking forward to one o'clock because I feel kind of disconnected in this country. So I was like, Well, I've only got half an hour left and feeling disconnected because I connected with some people.
Wow. Yeah. So it's the exact opposite had happened. Instead of being frustrated, you're like really looking forward to it and even you're out doing errands and you're like looking forward to coming in connecting and because you feel some alienation disconnection In the country, and this is a place where you feel connected. And yes, that's right.
And I also was, so there's like two levels of things that have happened. One is the one that I just said, which is that it's really nice to connect, and I enjoy the space. And I notice a real shift in my mood from before and after, and my feelings of connectedness. So that's the first level of things that I've got out of it.
So one of the first thing you've gotten out of, it's just a shift in your mood, I really a feeling of connectedness.
Yeah. And actually, as I heard you say that I thought, I think that there's three levels. So the second level is that I really feel like I've learned a lot about empathy. In that, for me, this last six weeks has been not like how to facilitate empathy circles, although that's a byproduct. But really, if if I had to retitle this training for me what it was, for me, it was like, six weeks of what is your relationship to empathy? That's what I would call it.
Yeah. So this is more than just an empathy circle, practice your you would call it as like, your relationship with empathy.
Yeah, and so I've really learned a lot about my relationship with empathy, like, what it sounds like, where it is, and certainly where it isn't. And what I think empathy does for me and does for others that I'm in connection with.
So you really got a lot of insight into what empathy is, what it isn't, and how it sort of relates to your relationships with other people, maybe how it plays a role or doesn't in those relationships.
Yeah. And the third level of where of what I've got out of this is that on a structured person, and I think I function really well in structure. And so this kind of feels like such a good safety net for me of like, well, if I'm struggling to find empathy, or I'm struggling to extend empathy, I've always got the empathy circle and the format of that to come back to, and that is just such a valuable thing. And it really honestly, the effect that it's had on me is to take the pressure off of like, I have to be really good at empathy because of my job and these expectations that are on me all the time. And now I just kind of like feel like, Oh, well, I've got empathy circles. So yeah, I'll always have some access to empathy wherever I need to along the way.
Yeah, so you're a very structured person. And what you really appreciate the empathy circle is there's a structure there. So you can always call on that structure, wherever you are, you won't kind of be lost or floundering, it's like, can't come back to that structure. And you just really appreciate having that that structure to fall back on. Yeah, thank you. We had, okay, Wow, that's beautiful. That's a great test, testimonial to the process. So thanks for that. So we only have like about a minute before we go back. So maybe about 30 seconds, if there's any comments or anything anybody wants to say before
we say something. Um, I want to thank everybody for sharing and Kara, thank you for sharing that about leadership. Because, um, you know, I just think that I'm not alone. I'm not alone. And I'm a pretty good listener, you know, but by the same token, you know, there's always room for improvement. And secondly, Alex, that clock that time up there. I love it. How can I get that? Can you send me a link? I love that. And Edwin, I really appreciate everything that you're doing. And I'm looking forward to being a part who knew when I took the facilitator training, that I will still be connected, what two years later, you know, so I really appreciate that. And I think that when you're looking for cohorts, and you're you know, people looking for their team or people looking for their people, I think empathy listening to circles, we're all each other's people, if that makes sense. So
I'm gonna be coming back and we lost bill. It's probably had some internet connection or something. So other is yay. Coming in just in time. Sorry, about to be back in 17 seconds that nobody wants to leave their group yet. A bill a year. Okay. You had some internet problems or something?
Yeah, I don't quite understand it. That seems to be working now.
Okay. All right.
Welcome back. Thank you.
Just in time for your part. I know I was thinking about I think it Oh, I could have to take over here
right. Okay, Okay, training session scripts. Okay, sorry for the delay, I'm having a little problem with my computer connection. But that should be fixed. And,
okay.
So I'm good, and I'm not muted. So one of the things we wanted to review in this time, is that at the beginning, we refer to a culture of empathy. And we talked about certain, you know, mutuality, empathy, authenticity, compassionate care, some of those things. And so the one or two, not everybody has to respond. But I wanted for people to think about when people demonstrated some of these core values that it's not, the technique is great, everything's Larry says, Love empathy circles, and I do, but in a greater sense, it creates the culture of empathy, those values must be expressed. So I'm just gonna call on people who feel that they have experienced, either from the trainers, the trainees or other participants. Example of some of these core values, again, their empathy, mutuality, openness and care, we have about 15 minutes for this. So five people three minutes each, or something like that. And so I just wanted people to reflect on that. Because if you're going to build a culture of empathy, it has to broaden out. And one more thing I'll say about that is that people said, you know, this is great in the circle, and I'm looking to incorporate it in my life. And so people who have, you know, done this for a while, like I do find a change taking place. And I've heard the same sort of things. So that's the sort of insight we're looking for. You know, and but in a specific example, somebody showed care when they did this, or somebody mutuality, something like that. So I've said enough. And I would like you all to say something brilliant. No pressure. I see. So women, I'll use mu D. I saw your hand first yesterday. Thank you so much.
Sure. So we just had an excellent example. And the the breakout room, my computer, went offline, and finally came back on. And I think it was, lindo said, Dr. hope everything's okay. I hope we didn't offend to do we knew you're a little stressed out, and we're glad to see you back. And that that helped, that helped me, you know, feel a little bit more calm. And, you know, I'm feeling kind of flustered, because, you know, the computer was out. And I was affiliated with the facilitator, too. So I was like, Oh, come on. So they they carried on without me, and then welcome me back into the circle. So I'm really grateful for that.
Thanks to you. That was a great contribution. Sally, I see your hand.
Yeah, um, I was in the group was D. And, of course, we were worried when she dropped off. And I don't know, it just caused us a lot of pain and worry. And then we spent a lot of time, which I would put in the definition of care. And reaching out to Edwin figuring out, was it up into D? And is she okay, and, you know, Judge? So anyway, not soon after? D did show up and after she had gotten her computer up and running. And we did one more empathy support. So well, anyway. So care came up as because really a huge part of that whole experience.
Thank you, Sally. Jennifer.
Yeah, it's just fresh on my mind. We had Jonathan expressing a great deal of care and empathy in our breakout room. When we were talking about a friend of his that recently entered into hospice care that led to a very heartfelt conversation.
Thank you. Anyone else? You Hang on see? Ah, Wendy. Thank you. And then Ruth. Gotcha.
Well, there's so many examples. It's hard to start. But one of the qualities that I feel is important is humor. And there's been so much humor here and there and everywhere. You know, my my buddy call was Sally, I just I haven't laughed so much for quite a while. And, you know, especially when we're doing the roleplay last week, you know, the giggles, the smiles, etc, a lot of humor. Patience. In this calmness, I get so much calmness as you enter more into the empathy circle and his flurry coming back, and I get so much calmness from Mary in there. So thank you.
Thank you, Wendy, Ruth.
Yeah, miss out was really present in our group. I was able to say, wow, yeah, I've got nothing to say. Brilliant to say, jacket. And I'm really nervous. about checking in, you know, it was just, yeah, being able to say that and get away with it really? To be honest. Have it land well.
Great. Any other comments? Linda,
when you said that, about the openness? And we did, we really weren't concerned at all that we had done something. But we're glad you're back. But I was we were talking about Monday laugh, we started just having a conversation, recognizing not to, you know, appreciate it and not to interrupt people. So that was good. But we got to talk about holistic medicine. And I was telling them some medical issues or the test results are saying, you know, you have these issues, and I'm telling the doc, I feel fine. I don't know what you're talking about. And at first, I didn't want to tell him what those two issues were. And then I did it just, you know, yeah, I just felt comfortable. Like, I can say this, I can, you know, tell them. And so I definitely for me, I'm a private person. So that's, that's new for me, but I just felt it was okay.
Great. Great. Thanks, Linda. Kathy.
Yes.
So I was sharing earlier, in the pre call that the first time I did empathy circles, which is almost two years ago. Now, the values part part that we had to get ready for the first one I took very seriously. And I've been working with values ever since. And one of the values I chose back then was presence. And I just want to read the definition, to be their friend other in such a way that through your own self knowledge and inner wisdom, they are able to perceive themselves with increased clarity. So I'll just say it again, to be there for another in such a way that through your own self knowledge and inner wisdom, they're able to perceive themselves with increased clarity. So I just love that. And I think that's present in the circles.
Great, thanks, Kathy. DJ.
We lower my hand here. Yeah, Kathy, that was really fantastic. What you just said, that's really? I mean, you could write a book about that what you just said. But I was going to say something else. And it's a little bit more complex, maybe. So earlier, I can't remember when but before the breakout rooms we were talking about, like it was a question, Bill? Not sure. Wasn't there a question about what happens when the reflector or the listener isn't showing empathy? Was it Kara? Was Was that it? Yeah. And so I kind of wanted to go back to that, because I don't think that we can really make a judgment on whether or not someone else is feeling empathy. And I know that everyone's gonna have somebody lean into it, you know, and some people actually like their bodies actually move closer to you or, like, you know, that you can tell they're really listening. But I'm not talking about those superficial kinds of things. I'm talking about true empathy. That I do believe that that there are, there are some caveats that happened in the empathy circle, that the reflection in itself is not necessarily empathy, in my opinion. And it's not really a requirement, but somebody has an Bothy for me in an empathy circle, because they can reflect back exactly what I have said, without having empathy for me, without even having an understanding of me. You don't have to have understanding in order to reflect there is a mimicry element to it. And that mimicry element can be very useful in times when you don't really feel close to the people that you're with perhaps or maybe you're distracted or whatever. So so what I'm trying to say is that question of authenticity, I think, is really a very private kind of decision. And it goes back to intentionality. And so I without going on too much more, but I just wanted to give the example of today's empathy circle was so fabulous. It was like, you know, Nirvana was like perfection. It was just amazing. Ruth is amazing. And it's amazing, Cathy's amazing, I'm amazing. We're all amazing. But if we have another kind of situation where we're actually trying to problem solve something, or there's some kind of potential conflict, for some reason, that kind of amazingness isn't protected. Because we get into that judgment, and into that defensiveness, that seems to be our go to in in the world today. So that's all I really have to say. Thank you for listening.
Sure, thanks. Any other comments that you'd like people like to chime in? Okay. All right, and I see. So we'll go around, I guess. Let's see if I'm handing it off. I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah, I'll hand it off to Kara.
So for our last question, we're going to do like one minute rounds per person. And we're going to go all the way around. And I think we have time. So I'm going to go ahead and just call on people and posting it currently in the chat. Okay, so what did you like about the training? And what will you be doing next with your empathy circles? I'm gonna start my participant list and go through it. So let's go to Jonathan. Well,
I really enjoyed last week's session, I felt that I wasn't. It was very receptive to the challenge that I was given. I really think that maybe that should be some sort of add that adaptation of the challenges. Because it was tough. It made me think. And I learned something, and I, it's going to stay with me. And I'm going to remind everyone that and I'm going to ask Edwin for comment, but I believe that ongoing next week, or next Monday, we'll have regular cafes. And the question came up in our circle about well, what are we going to do next? Well, maybe you could just attend the cafe next week. And something just that simple. Thank you.
Let's go to Kathy. Okay.
So I haven't done a training in a year. And so I felt rather loosey goosey in this training. And I just was realizing I did don't remember the how profound the first training I did was. And so I want to the next training, I want to remember what a profound experience this might be for the new people that are doing this. So I wasn't in touch with that, this time around, I wish I would have been more in touch with that. That might have helped me not feel so loved just go with the flow rather than just really be paired so and what I'm doing next is continuing to push this out through the peace Alliance. We have it in our peace movement news and events. And I'm going to push out more on Facebook than I have been doing. And invite more of my friends I haven't really been focused on it because I've been too busy in my life. And so I'm, I'm emptying things out of my life so that I can can do some more things. So that's it. DJ
This is my second training. Um, so I had the participant and then training one and this is my training too. So three times. I have to say it does get easier. It definitely gets easier. This was a lot easier for me. I feel like okay, I'm getting a handle on this a little bit. And I love the scripts that everyone Have I just loved those scripts? I just because I'm an educator, you know, and, you know, so great to have it all written down, like you don't have to be, you know, like you were saying, Bill, you don't have to be brilliant. Like, you can just read the script. And it's gonna work. And so thank you all for being here and going through this experience with me. And I hope to see you all again. Linda.
The circle today was unique, and I loved it. Because when de dropped off, it was just three of us in the room, there was Sally and Jana and myself. And we said, Okay, well, why did I do this, I said, Let's just have a conversation and not worry about the reflecting and the time, but let's just have a conversation. And we got to talking about being a vegan plant based food, holistic medicine or whatever. And so it was, you know, it can actually work in having a conversation with a with a group of people without the timer and whatever. So I really enjoyed that. And this whole process, I like to I like the fact that it's a process, like when I was training to become a mediator, there's a process, it's not just Helter Skelter. And if you follow the process, it works. And so this process has taught me how to actually listen, pay attention and listen without, you know, getting rid of the respond because I don't want to silence or whatever. And it's also teaching me how to be more conscious of the words that I use and not so paying so much attention to am I gonna say it right is just the right word. I'm gonna pronounce it or whatever, correctly, but it works it just in general life, it but the circles help you practice it, like everyone said, build the muscle. So it just comes on automatically.
So, Sally, I'll come to you do you want to go next?
I do. Okay, yeah, we're gonna piggyback off of what Linda said. Because, um, well, um, when de la, then we were the three of us and we talked about in know, being vegan, and it kind of well was not any more in the empathy, circle process. But what came to mind is, like, a potter's wheel, when you dump the clay on, and everything is going, which does weigh on that and, but you finally, get it centered and perfect. So you can make your pot. And at that point, when you're centered in the conversation, you no longer need the empathy circle, because everyone feels safe. And it's a beautiful, you know, yeah. You make that pot, that beautiful pot.
This good one. Yeah.
Wendy, will go to you next. What I
liked about the training was meeting new people, because each time I owe the three times before that I've done this training, it's been different each time. I mean, the scripts are the same. The different contributions from various trainers, trainees, and participants is always different. So it just goes deeper each time. And the second part, what we'll be doing next, we're going to integrate learnings about listening into daily life and into organizations that I'm involved with is I find just such an important process. And I feel that there is organizations could really, really benefit from that person. So everybody, thank
you. And we'll go to Unix.
Thank you. For me, I think it's coming together. We have a group of people who we have some shared understanding and purpose and value in, in this empathy training that we want to spread it. And to me that can remove some of my isolation because I'm not that often, physically with people who I feel that have a shared sense of purpose with. And I find that invaluable. And I kind of know many of you well enough to know that you're working in your ways at making that happen. And I find that life enhancing. And what I will be doing, that's one of the things I wanted to mention is that I've been asked to find some facilitators for an empathy cafe, our date, time and date to be confirmed, but probably at the time of this training, that's 10am, Pacific time 6pm In the UK, probably on the 11th. And all the 12th of March, that's Saturday and Sunday. And it's an NVC nonviolent communication, and Pacfic Europe event. And so if anybody's interested, I'd love you to come and be one of the facilitators, because I know that each and every one of you would be really great to be there doing it. Thank you.
Excellent. Alex, I've got a unit.
Sure, um, just to piggyback off something that Kathy said, This is my first empathy, facilitated training. And prior to this, I'd only participated in two empathy circles. So the concept was reasonably new for me, and I have found it a really profound experience, like I have just got so much out of this. So that's definitely the case, Kathy, and I hope that I can stay in touch with that, as I go through other trainings. One thing that I really appreciated about the trainings was how well organized they were, I can tell that like a lot goes into preparing into delegating into knowing who's going to do what next into sticking with time, I just really value when our time is respected and things don't go over or they don't start late. Like I think that that requires a lot of coordination. So I appreciate that. I appreciate the emails and the links, and everything is there as I need it. So I really like that. Next steps for me, I want to I'm really keen to join the visioning circle process for Edwin's next big project. And I want to keep in contact with empathy cafes. I've been to Jana and to Larry's Cafe before, I'd love to come again. And yeah, I hope to join the next training too, as a trainee
next time. So
love that. Bill. What you got? Yeah,
so I always love meeting new people, but also, people I've seen before watching their own process. You know, the empathy circle sort of sets the frame. But then people take their own unique way forward. And that's what I really, really enjoy and value and the bravery of people saying, Yeah, empathy is important. And I'm going to do something about it, I'm going to learn about it. That's incredibly, personally gratifying to me. What I'm going to do next is I've been working on empathy in schools is what I've been doing in the past, I will continue to do that I put my contact information in the chat if you're interested. And then also, I'm working on an empathy game that incorporates theater games and things like that, that can be downloaded for free. All over the world. And the devils in the details and I'm working with with a graphic artist who was also a very good editor. And but we're making progress. So hopefully within a month, we'll be able to, you know, beta test that so that's it thank you.
Beta testing in a month. All right, baby, Jen.
What I can say is that are for me, learning new things, making genuine connections and getting support as needed. Like right now. What's next is I'm in a leadership program where we're going to do a service project I'm on the health and wellness committee. And what we're going to do is we're going to do empathy listening circles in a high school. So thank you very much, Bill. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much Bill. So there's always help out there for whatever project you're working on. And I'm grateful for that. In addition to that, just as you go through the process, you learn about different things that you haven't considered like saying that diversity, equity and inclusion in the workplace would be a win win for all employers. So things like that. So those are the next step for me. And I love love, love everyday listening circles. I'll leave it there.
Yes. All right, Dee.
There I am. everything everybody said, Me too. I really enjoyed this format, because it's got that equanimity, that equality, you don't have one person manipulating your whole time. And I think that's very valuable to in a lot of group situations. I really liked meeting like minded individuals, I, I'm happy with our cohort, I think it was a great group. For me, and we're on going forward is I hope to be running an empathy cafe to for my clients that are involved with the energy and Reiki healing. So thank you, everyone. That was really good.
Jana.
I love empathy circles. And I've benefitted personally tremendously from empathy circles, and about this training, I enjoyed that addition of the conflict resolution that has is exciting and going forward, it will be I think this will be a very valuable and invaluable tool for conflict resolution. And yeah, and I, I echo a decided I agree with everybody here where people shared really wonderful comments and enriching comments, and it's just wonderful to be part of this community. And, and in terms of what we're doing, we're doing this ethics and empathy circle. I'll put it here. Everybody's welcome. And, and going forward, I'd like to explore empathy and altruism. This is a hot topic for everyone here. And I've suggested to Wendy, maybe we'll do a book cover something about ethics and about empathy and altruism. So, yeah, we'll see where this goes. It's exciting. Thank you.
Jennifer.
Yeah, so I, I enjoyed the training. And I'm not really sure what's next. For me, I haven't given it much consideration other than I'm not going to be doing like a big commitment. I just learned this thing called empathy, cafes today, which sounds like a drop in kind of thing. So I'm happy to have a conversation about basically anything that's coming up in the future. I think everyone has my contact information. Personally, how I'm I'm seeing that this could be integrated into my personal interests, is that I would like to kind of simplify it, distill it even further and bring it into the web three tech, kind of NF T communities via Twitter spaces. And Marianne Williamson is running for president again, she's announcing pick on the fourth. And I would like to, I told her, I would volunteer to, to work on her campaign. I had some ideas for it. And she liked the tweet. So I am taking that to mean that she wants me to incorporate empathy circles into our campaign. So I'm not sure how I'm going to do it yet. But that's my thinking.
I will go and then I will extend it to Edwin after I go to an for closing. What did I get at this particular training? I don't remember who said it already. But yes, it's the people it that the training is so beautifully laid out. It's so beautifully structured and set up and then then all of these amazing human beings show up and make it magic. And that is what I always get out of these. It's my second time through so the first time as a participant, I remember like Earth shape moving changes, and then and I did not expect for that to happen a second time and yet it did. So always do I find that to be true. What's next, I will be taking empathy into my leadership training as a coach and I've been participating more and more into the community. I still have an awesome I'm going once a month empathy date with ladies from my very first training years ago, and we get together every month like clockwork still. And I lean on to that that will never stop in my life. Pastor Edwin, and then we'll give it to an okay.
You forgot Ray.
Oh, I miss Ruth.
Go ahead. Well, should I go now? Yes, please. So you're probably falling asleep, anyway. Yeah, no, I just yeah, this is such a good opportunity. Yeah, I'm a little bit tired. So I'm going to try and focus here. What I liked very much was all the different personalities and you know, meeting people from other countries that I wouldn't normally meet. But all the connection between us it doesn't really matter where we come from, you know, we just connect really well. Next step. I'd love to have a monthly empathy group with. Yeah, people. But next steps, I'm offering empathy cafe for a skills auction that's coming up and a group of women that I meet regularly, they've agreed to let me kind of just demonstrate it with them. So yeah, that's, that's my next steps, and maybe help her on one of the online things. Yes. Thank you.
Did I miss anyone else? No. Okay, now to Edwin and Linda.
Okay. So for me, I just love being with you all, it's like, especially in our circle is just those such warms and growth that was happening, it just sort of feeds my heart and soul. So very grateful for everyone taking part. And I also really enjoy the learning, I can just, you can just feel the learning happening and the growth happening to build a more empathic culture. So to be able to contribute to that just feels really good. And just to see the growth that happens with everyone towards that culture of empathy. And, yeah, so as really excited about that I've been talking for our own year. So by doing that empathy and conflict, mediation circles, I finally got to test it out on you also, really appreciate that, that you're, that you could take part with with that. There was something was said about doing unstructured dialogue, the empathy circle, just as a added point here, you know, if you have the empathy circle is doing a few rounds with the empathy circle, and then doing open discussion, it kind of sets a good tone for it. And it also becomes sort of a safety net to like, if something happens, you start feeling hurt, not feeling heard, you can say, Oh, would you give me a reflection on that, you know, while you're just having a normal conversation, so it becomes sort of Yeah, again, that metaphor of a safety net for maintaining that empathic way of being. In terms of next steps, I got a couple of things here, I'm gonna actually put this in to the chat. That's the link to next Saturday in this time slot. We're doing our conflict, conflict, mediation, peace building, empathy cafe, we're doing that with a bunch of different bunch of different co sponsors. There's the listening first Alliance, there's Cathy's peace Alliance. And there's a couple other organizations that are co hosting that. So we'll be here in this space. If I put the link in there, too, on LinkedIn, you know, for hosting that. Right now. It's like 600, people have said they're interested in it. So it's usually just a tiny percentage that actually show up. But it's great. If you want to come and practice your facilitation skills, we can if we have enough participants, you can facilitate a real empathy circle with new participants. So it's really good practice. So I hope you'll come to that in that Saturday time slot. Going forward, we'll have other empathy cafes. In the following weeks. We do that conflict Cafe once a month or so. And let's see we have next Friday, we have that visioning circle for the center, the empathy Center in Santa Barbara. So I hope you'll come to that and kind of help create that organization and that space, and we may be doing it on Saturdays. And going forward as well, sort of a brainstorming for a while we have the next training I think is going to be May 20, it will be starting. It's the week before that is the national week that conversation with those national organizations, about 400 organizations, they do this National Week of conversation for the United States kind of trying to bridge divides. And as part of the conflict resolution circles, we'll be hosting that. So there's a whole we'll be sending out the shouldn't be all beyond the Facebook, not to Facebook, but the Google group, email list. And so we'll be sending out a notices for all of that. So I think that's it for Yeah, final next steps. I'm really excited about the the center. I mean, this is really good. It's really a chance to really move the empathy movement forward. I hope you'll all kind of get involved in one way of volunteering, or maybe eventually we'll have you know, paid empathy positions to work towards that. So that's it. Thanks, Kara.
And before I pass it to you, Larry, are you with us? Can you can you speak? You didn't call on you earlier? They see you. And I don't hear you.
Tech challenges. I hate those.
How about now? Did that
make it for you now? Yes, please.
Well, wow, that was the longest reboot in my whole life. I think that's like on a vacation. Welcome back. And I heard someone say it's the people. That's it. It's the people is the connection is the aliveness within each of us. This is shared relationship. It's phenomenal. And it's overlooked. In our worldly lives. We don't see the miracle of life. It's happening all around us. So what am I doing here? Four minute bio break is what I see.
What, what, what went really well on this training? And what are you going to do next?
Okay, you know, I'm thinking about doing some empathy circles next. Okay. That's it. It's the people. This is it. This is really, really cool. I love to live this way.
Thank you. Okay. And now it's officially you for closing.
Thank you very much. So first of all, then, are there any trainers who have got any final comments? I think Edwin has maybe said some of his already. Yeah. Is there anybody else who has any final comments? And then we'll go back to Edwin if he's got anything else? Am I missing anybody?
I can't see any trainers with their hands up. Edwin, did you have anything you want?
I said it all in my turn. So that was just the next step. So that was pretty much it next day, May 20. Isn't that probably in the next training? We haven't created the signup page for that yet. But that's sort of in the work. So that's about, you know, that's 10 weeks, or 10 weeks from now.
So, so for me, again, I'm saying letting you know that there'll be an empathy cafe, probably at the time of this training start on the 11th and the 12th. of March, and I'm looking for facilitators to come along and be part of a cafe. So you'll be supported. You'll have a pre brief session a debrief afterwards. So please get in touch with me, I posted my email address earlier. So unless anybody else has got a comment, I will do a resume a of what we've done this final session where we held a final empathy circle with a focus on integrating our experiences and our learnings. And then we've harvested feedback about the benefits of the training that we've we've experienced. We also shared our intentions, intentions for any future empathy, cafes were holding, and anything that we're planning to do to contribute to building a culture of empathy in the world. Now the assignments, first of all, there's the evaluation form link that I've posted in the chat. And also, there will be a final empathy Buddy call that Edwin Moore. Let us know what our parents are for that, and a small request if you could to donate if possible please So lastly, I'd invite you all once again to put up a feeling that you're you have at the moment into the chat for us all to share before we leave
so I've got gratitude happy grateful joy, appreciation content revelations trust rebooted connected comfort connected again fulfilled and it's connected for me. Thank you everybody. So finally let's do a final jazz hands please
the next week in the empathy Cafe calm
yeah look forward to seeing you
soon bye
have a good week in bye
bye
by a break
fire break
Oh minutes RIGHT.
Did your computer crash Larry or was it just blew up?
Yeah, the computer stayed on and zoom disappeared. And then a second I couldn't get anything to to work. So I had to hold the power button on down until it finally turned off. And it just took forever to reboot. I didn't know if it was doing an update or what?
Oh yeah. Yeah, I got a new computer with the SSD drive. So it's really fast now. Pretty good.
Send me one.
Yeah, they're pretty cheap. nowadays. You were doing that you're going to be calling you're doing the debrief part.
So yeah.
Just about all the links and stuff you need needed or anything or
I think I just posted in the chat to call them everyone and ask how was their experience overall and ask the questions. I like I wish and what if Okay, great. Kara, would you like to go
yes, sorry, I'm gonna snap the picture down on my head. I'm excited. I'm talking. Okay, I like circles. I like the training. I liked it, it was just as intense the first time round as the second time round, but in a completely different way like the first time I was really trying to show up and figure out how to do this empathy circle thing and now it was like how do I show up and help somebody else figure out how to do this empathy circle things. So that was cool. I wish that we gave a little teaser about the behind the scenes at the on the last day so that that I may have come back faster to training had I known that there was a whole nother level to peel back. So I wish that that had happened.
And what if
what if we just take over the world I'm in Verizon
but what if what
what if we just take over the world
doubt me and
yeah, please forgive me for my career where that's what I did a pilot project for high school students to read the news throughout the world.
So Sally, would you like to answer the questions of how was this cohort overall? I like I wish and what is
um, well, I just really had a blast. Last week with the role playing. I wish that we could move ahead with the conflict resolution because it's more apropos to the situations I'm gonna be dealing with and
