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Coach Kani'o | Otter.ai

Coach Kani'o

Tracy W32min

Speaker 1

00:00

So today I'd kind of like to explore some of the things that I might need to look for, for my kind of application, To be successful to find somewhere that suits me and my ADHD to a reasonable degree. Okay, so it sounds like your lunch, you're wanting to launch a new career and something that Okay. What would you like to

Speaker 2

00:33

take away from this session? Um, I think I'd like to have maybe a little

Speaker 3

00:37

shortlist of two or three things that I would need in a new position. That would mean that it would suit me. Okay, so two or three things that your new position would require that suits you. Yeah. How would you know if today's succession

Speaker 1

01:00

got you there or today's succession got you there? Because I will have a really clear idea of what those things are.

Unknown Speaker

01:13

All by back support

Speaker 3

01:14

the most important of those things is Yeah.

Unknown Speaker

01:21

What is standing

Speaker 3

01:22

out right now as most important to you and taking

Speaker 1

01:25

this next step? Um, I just I want to make sure I'm happy. It's going to be a stopgap for me between hopefully coaching ADHD coaching full time, and what I currently do. So I'm looking at something that's going to give me a bit more give me enough flexibility so that I can work

Speaker 3

01:47

kind of part time and also building my coaching one to two days a week. So it's important because I

Speaker 1

01:54

icing need this kind of stepping stone to get me from where I am now to hopefully coaching full time. Okay, so if I'm hearing you correctly, it sounds like you're wanting to juggle a part time job while doing the ADHD coaching until you can be fully I guess, so you can take on the ADHD coaching full time without needing a part time job. Yeah. Where do

Unknown Speaker

02:27

you want to start exploring this topic today?

Speaker 3

02:31

Um, maybe a good place to start would be exploring what works for me and my current job. He might help me to understand a bit more about what I will need from wherever I go next. What is making you

Unknown Speaker

02:50

successful in your current job?

Unknown Speaker

02:54

Um, it's

Speaker 2

02:55

it's ADHD friendly in lots of ways. So it's like we have a structure

Speaker 1

03:00

to our day, but no routine. So you know, we get there in the morning we will have to all of our therapy creatures. We do mindfulness we have our morning briefing.

Unknown Speaker

03:13

And then between like 10 and three, the kids show up It's

Speaker 3

03:15

pandemonium. No one knows what's going to happen. We just know that kids will be there. And that's it.

Speaker 1

03:23

And then obviously, we have like a little kind of routine from 3pm Once the kids leave to the end of our working day. So that works really well. It's quite, it's quite movement based. So I rarely sit still long enough for you know, a cup of tea when my day we've got a five acre site so I go running about with the kids and the horses and you know, we do things like build obstacle courses in the mud and build an almost bonfires and do you know, artwork site in a tree and all that kind of stuff. So that kind of movement based aspect works really well. And that obviously I have admin and stuff to do but it's I can do it in a manageable chunks around other stuff. You know, we exist where provision for neurodiverse young people who have experienced trauma, so a lot of that understanding. Not all of it showed but a lot of that understanding does extend to staff as well. So I have one work from home day a week which allows me to catch up on all the paperwork that I do everything to avoid the other four days. Because there's no distractions at home, I can catch myself in a little room and ignore everybody. So yeah, so I guess kind of like the the general organized setup and the actual role of the job and the location being more outdoors, I guess, help me to be successful at what I do currently. Okay, so it sounds like this more holistic approach. To this new career which entails mindfulness, the break a lot of breaks between having to do brain intensive tasks like unnecessary evil of paperwork. And then also you being able to go out with your body and not have to sit all day sounds. Like

Unknown Speaker

05:23

that's kind of what you're looking for.

Speaker 3

05:25

Yeah. Okay. Tell me the amount of effort it takes you to do. specific tasks around your job that are a little bit more challenging. So, it depends what the tasks are, and

Unknown Speaker

05:52

anything paperwork wise.

Speaker 3

05:55

Once I'm doing them I can do them reasonably competently. It's the starting doing them. And the fact that I'm dyslexic and everything comes out back to front, I suppose that makes it difficult.

Unknown Speaker

06:10

Kind of other task wise like

Speaker 1

06:11

tasks and activities with the kids. And I don't really see any of those difficult because even when a challenge kind of arises, that a bit of my brain that likes to respond to a crisis kicks in. And it's, I kind of deal with it with relative ease. And that's usually because it requires me to be flexible and adaptable, or come up with be creative and come up with something on a whim, which are all things that I'm very good at. But obviously it's a bit harder to do things like that with paperwork. So the barrier against the kind of the boring things are always more difficult than the actual hard things, if that makes sense.

Unknown Speaker

06:56

mentioned the word creativity.

Speaker 1

07:00

Tell me more about some of your creative strengths. So my background is actually in music. And I have a postgrad master's degree in singing opera, and classical opera performance.

Speaker 3

07:21

So I'm very, very musical in the way that I do everything. And music has lots of buttons and stuff. So it does feed into more of the work I do that I I suppose

Unknown Speaker

07:33

has realized

Speaker 1

07:37

in terms of being creative, lots of young people who have have such specific needs, that a lot of our responses to stuff requires us to kind of always take like the side door entrance to do something. There'll be an obvious and traditional path to do a task. But for whatever reason, this young person can't do that. So then we kind of have to start thinking about, you know, around the side doors to get into to allow them

Unknown Speaker

08:01

to access what it is that they want.

Speaker 1

08:04

So, my kind of creative, I suppose leaning kind of comes into that. In that I can you know, take take nothing and make it into something most of the time just by adding a bit of imagination. And there's lots of I'm quite fortunate in what I do is that most because respond very well to like imaginative play and stuff which I'm obviously is very therapeutic and I have lots of experience doing that. Kind of thing. So yeah, creativity, building stories. All of that kind of comes into the job that I currently do. What are some things you've done thus far to explore? A new career? So it was a relatively recent decision that I made and I realized that I needed to that it was time to move on. So in the last kind of week or so I have kind of spent

Speaker 2

09:15

hours probably looking through like job advertisements online

Speaker 3

09:18

for positions at places similar to where I currently work. or places

Speaker 1

09:25

where I'll be interested in working to like ADHD related advocacy work. I've applied slash inquired to lots of relevant charities we have quite a few ADHD related charities in the UK. I have an interest in eating disorders and ADHD. So I've similarly inquired into relevant charities there. So if there's any vacancies and I've kind of I've gone through things that I thought that I can do with my experience or my skills or qualifications. And I've been trying to narrow down that list of things that I actually want to do that I think would suit me. So you know, I could do a really heavy admin job on paper but what I want to do that or would I be? Would my skills be best used doing that? Probably not. I kind of want to set myself up for success as far as possible, even though people sending me a short term or short term thing and I've ruled out that I don't want to work in a school setting because me and my me and traditional education don't mix wonderfully well. Have been a teacher I was a teacher in a secondary school for a little while. And it you know, it's hard enough for the kids to sit down and be quiet and concentrate and do all those things when you're the teacher. When you're supposed to be setting by example it was I found that really challenging so I kind of look at places similar to I currently work which is quite therapeutic. But lots of the places are more school based. And so I've kind of been Yeah, exploring roundabout there and exploring places that I either haven't heard or don't know enough about, but are within my radius of the place I was that I will be looking at to what specifically, do you not so you mentioned that you don't want you'd rather not do the admin paperwork, rather not necessarily work with the children or be a teacher. What things do you know you definitely don't want in your next job. And I will manage management. It's really important to

Speaker 2

11:45

me, that I that whoever is

Speaker 3

11:49

running the place, knows what they're about and that they respect their employees because I think that's an issue that I've come up against in my current role, which has worn me down a bit over time and I don't want to bother with that again.

Speaker 1

12:09

To be fair, I would like to work with children just not in a traditional school environment.

Unknown Speaker

12:14

I don't think my skill

Speaker 1

12:15

set would be best suited to a school. But you know, I love kids. I've done loads of musical stuff with kids in the past. So maybe something like that would work. I think perhaps something that balances you know, doing or moving or creating with mooring paperwork stuff that comes with being an adult in general, something that has that balance, I think will probably be good. But yeah, in terms of things that I actually actively don't want. I don't want to work outside in the middle of winter is my other thing because last last year one of my colleagues I'm very nearly got frostbite they everybody had chilled lanes. It was horrible. There was no winter cold was a wet Yeah, eight hours is a long time to be out in the snow. Yeah, so I kind of I'm like I like being outside. I need to I need to be eating somewhere. Yeah. What is your intuition or gut feeling telling you about the direction you want to take? Question? Um it's hard, hard for me to think about it because my gut instinct obviously is, is leading me ultimately towards coaching full time which is that's what I want to do.

Speaker 3

13:43

So I kind of think my gut instinct is leading me that if I can to find some sort of experience that would also be relevant and add to my knowledge and my coaching

Speaker 1

13:54

as we go along. Which probably involves me working with ADHD people and your and other people. But that's something that I've been looking at anyway, because that's where I say best takes one to know one. You know, that's there. I feel like there needs to be more representation in people that like work in equality, and advocacy stuff, whether that's for young people or for adults. Yeah, I'm sorry, I've forgotten what your question was. But I hope that answered Oh, no, yeah, you did. Um, so I'm noticing we have about five minutes left. What are you going to be taking away from today's session? Um, I actually have a clearer idea than I thought of what has been working for me and what I don't think I would be suited to and what the things that worked for me from my current job,

Speaker 3

14:55

I think I can use them to my advantage. To look at where I'm gonna go next.

Speaker 1

15:05

Yeah, but that I have got those. I have got that knowledge. And it's a lot clearer to me now than it was at the beginning of our session. What is the first thing you'll do after our session? gonna write a list? I'm a list person. So I'm going to write a list of the things that

Unknown Speaker

15:29

I think work really well in my current place

Speaker 1

15:31

of work and what I love and I'm going to write a list of the things that I want, slash don't have at the moment. And then I'm going to

Speaker 3

15:41

leave it leave our brain to rest and then I'm going to come back to it tomorrow and continue to search continue the

Unknown Speaker

15:48

applications that kind of thing. What barriers could potentially get in the way I on my own worst barrier? I guess you know, all the usual motivation. Distraction, type barriers.

Speaker 1

16:11

However, you know, I think as far as output be overwhelming, you know, you can be scrolling on indeed.

Unknown Speaker

16:18

And there's like, 1000s of different jobs and it's

Speaker 3

16:20

got so many I can't even be bothered to read them all.

Speaker 1

16:26

Yeah, so most of the barriers I have are related to Yeah, being distracted, really easily distracted or having no concentration or attention span. Yeah. What supports might you need? Um, I guess supporting myself to do this is going to look like me giving myself a little bite sized tasks to do so like tonight I will write my list and then I'll leave it tomorrow I will start looking at other things. I think I can

Speaker 2

17:05

support myself to not be as distracted or

Speaker 3

17:10

to struggle as much with attention by breaking it down into like short 20 minute tasks. It might ultimately

Speaker 1

17:16

take me longer to do things then but at least then I'm I'm working towards not being distracted or bored and abandoning looking for jobs altogether. I think in addition to that, you know, having the support of my partner who I live with, is neurotypical and brilliant at gently and politely reminding me of you said you were going to do this today. He kind of holds me accountable. I think even if it's a you know, a reminder, like oh, you said you were going to spend 20 minutes updating your CV today. Why have you gone to doing that? Is there anything I can do to help you do that? That kind of thing. I think if I can share my thought process with him, having his support would be a real help. Well, before we end today,

Unknown Speaker

18:11

I just want

Speaker 1

18:12

to, you know, acknowledge your initiative. To explore this potential career change today. And really your dedication to neurodiversity and advocacy and the effort you put in so good job.

Unknown Speaker

18:33

Coming, coming,

Speaker 3

18:36

always saying coming on mute while I'm making my last note, it's very not helpful. That's the spotlight you can eat. Oh, you know what I just realized I'm so sorry. I neglected to push record so I'm going to push record for the feedback. And then I have otter actually

Speaker 2

18:52

going because that helps. me figure out what I need to say about things and I will give you that file so at least you have the audio on it. I do apologize.

Speaker 4

19:01

Worst, okay, but I'm gonna record this part of this recording in progress. Okay, so here's cameos feedback because I neglected to push record for the session. So thank you both very much. Interesting, um, who was our I don't remember who our first observer is, but whoever you'd like to go. What did you notice?

Unknown Speaker

19:26

To hang out emila. And so,

Speaker 4

19:33

um, Kanye had said she would like us to pay attention to her active listening skills. So that's something that I paid attention to and notice she was doing that consistently

Speaker 2

19:50

and very well so she she would say things like, it sounds like you are you know, looking to launch in your area

Speaker 5

19:57

or if me I knew correctly. Tell me Yeah. So I mean, I think

Unknown Speaker

20:07

that several times, to really make

Speaker 5

20:09

sure that she understood what Emma was talking about. Also, I felt she did a good job of the evoking point awareness. And where that was obvious is when she asked me What are you taking away? And Emma said, Well, you know, I realized, I guess I hadn't realized that I have a pretty good idea of what it is that I really like and don't like. So she had suddenly didn't have a sense of the beginning of the session. She did at the end. And that was thanks to the woking awareness. Yeah, so that's all I have for now. Okay. Thank you. So Miko, what did you notice? So the question like what is making you successful in your current job? Like, I think he was like really positive, focused and facilitated and client growth to kind of move on to like, what do you want for the next or what you can do for the next and like to watch your gut instinct,

Speaker 4

21:23

leading you? I thought there was no evoking

Speaker 2

21:26

awareness question. Like what they actually really

Speaker 6

21:29

know already. Kind of like maybe like awareness question that was really lovely. And acknowledgement. That was amazing. I loved seeing either full precise, and exactly that. The have done amazing work. Thank you. Hello, what was your experience? A good one. And I really thought that coming out did a fantastic job of kind of pulling in my Octopus brain and giving me clarity, or leading me to find clarity in what it was that I

Unknown Speaker

22:11

was kind of looking for.

Unknown Speaker

22:14

To me, it felt like a kind of, I have this massive cloud of

Speaker 2

22:17

stuff. And I want to get these bits out

Speaker 1

22:20

of it. And you did a really good job of helping me kind of like nitpick out of the cloud. And that's what I felt like it meant I always felt kind of lighter. 20 minutes on by the end of the session was like, Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good, isn't it? Oh, wow. Which is fun, because it's not particularly these practice sessions. This is not it's not a feeling that I get often. Just because I personally tend to take smaller topics, to little 20 minute practice sessions, because I haven't often got something bigger that I want to bring or that I have to bring. So it

Speaker 3

23:00

was really quite cool to feel the effect. I was like, Oh, that's nice. Well, yeah.

Speaker 1

23:05

Wow. Yeah, thank you. That was really it was really positive experience. I'd say the client said to me, I felt lighter for the last one and that was in the session, I would be bouncing off the walls internally. I after I clicked into I'd actually be like bouncing around please. So I hope that's taking you however it did you.

Unknown Speaker

23:30

What was your experience like?

Unknown Speaker

23:33

I never remember if I asked the coach this first or if I ever talked first which do I do?

Speaker 4

23:38

What did you prefer? I'm sorry, I yeah, there we are the group. No, I will first I was asking you what your experience was? No, I was like, Oh, no. Did I put her on the spot and I don't usually ask this. I can't remember. Um, I just honestly I was literally like, just trying to focus on listening when it was gonna ask me, so that's really where

Speaker 2

24:03

I was wondering whether it flipped so nicely then. That was great.

Unknown Speaker

24:08

So So yes, you asked us to listen

Speaker 4

24:09

for present and active listening, reflection and like amela you noticed a lot of the active listening, reflection. My coach recently reminded

Unknown Speaker

24:18

me so I'll put it out there for you all, active listening.

Speaker 3

24:21

We have interpreted it as reflection, but it's really checking for understanding. That's what we're doing right. It's not just holding up for our clients, but like checking to make sure we're on the same

Speaker 4

24:30

page. And so that's just a little tweak that's moved me a little bit in the last couple of weeks since you said that my coach is great, by the way, highly recommend beautiful products. And what you just described exemplifies it. The fact that Emma felt lighter, the fact that you were focused on what's next question and just like letting that come to you? Yeah, beautiful. I think you've got a little flustered at one of the early things that you were trying to reflect something, but that was it that you settled in and instead of getting more flustered, you like, regulated and got in it. It really sunk into that pocket. So it was lovely to see. I really liked the way you asked them the significant question on this one, which was what standing out right now what's important about this next step, I thought that was a really elegant flow from what she had just said. So there's a way in which you can, you know, maneuver the Tom's questions and adapt them to, you know, even little bits to feel more flowy from what the person said. I thought that was a really nice moment. I'm not sure we got a value out of her answer, though. Right. And you know, this is what I've always harping on, what's the value? So make like, ask like, just plan that you're going to ask another question there. Because almost always it needs another question. What's important about hold something so mine for this, what came to me was what's important about moving from your current job to full time coaching. I want to know what's driving that because that's what's going to drive the stepping stone. So that might have been an interesting place to have that information. I thought what is making you successful was a good question. I might have tweaked it a little and here's her language, which is what's working for her. So what is working for you in this current job? But the context of the question was very nice. To tell me about the so I'm gonna ask you a question. You said tell me about the effort where you need effort to do your job or something along those lines. What were you thinking about

Unknown Speaker

26:27

around that question when you asked him?

Speaker 4

26:30

I think I was trying to get her to think, Okay, I'm doing this. This is taking this amount of effort in this job. And that's what I don't want in this job. So I was hoping to get the wheels turning about

Unknown Speaker

26:43

what

Speaker 4

26:46

what she would want in this job in her next job. That's more effortless. Okay, I know that sounds jumbled. But no, that's true. No, but

Unknown Speaker

26:55

like, that's what I thought

Speaker 3

26:56

you were trying to get at and I think that's where she answered which was great. I think you're gonna just ask the question. What do you not want to take with you? Like the fact that it took you that long to explain the thinking, right, means there was a more direct way to ask that question. The other thing that occurred to me to ask at that point, rather than going to the to the flip side yet, or she had just said here's what's making me because it's working for me.

Speaker 4

27:19

And so I asked him there. This is a yes. And you didn't do anything wrong. It was a yes and asked me there. So what about that do you want to bring forward?

Unknown Speaker

27:28

Right? So really like, Okay, this is what's working and

Speaker 4

27:30

also, maybe you don't want all that. So making a mindful choice of what's going to happen. I'd like to be picked up on the creativity piece. Because when you asked about that, like the floodgates open right? There's a lot there for her. And I think you could have explored that even a little bit more. And brought it in like how would you like to see creativity as part of the next job? Right, so So making just just that extra little connection points, you're in there. So you asked What have you done to explore new jobs? That struck me as a little bit problem focused? Because what she wanted to do is evaluate the current job right, or what you wanted to bring forward as opposed to I want to look for a new job. So I think I might have asked this I don't remember what came right before that. I would have asked something a little bit different there.

Unknown Speaker

28:27

She Oh, I know she had just on the create

Speaker 4

28:29

all the creativity stuff. So I would have asked another question about the creativity. When you get a good answer. When you get those nuggets, they're like they stay in that flow. Stay with that and pull it back into what she wanted. Yeah, I felt like we spent

Unknown Speaker

28:46

a little a little more

Speaker 4

28:48

time that we needed to and what we don't want and then you did eventually ask what do you definitely not want to do? So I felt like can we go back to the like, the forward thinking the appreciative inquiry. I love the what is your gut intuition telling you a question. I thought it was a great like sneakers at a very good woking awareness question. After all of this sort

Speaker 2

29:07

of like logical thinking it through to check in on her somatic and to check in on her

Speaker 4

29:12

inner peace is a great balancing moment. And this is a little thing, but it's not a little thing she talked about right near the end she talked about and she said I don't think I remember the question. Did I answer your question? And I'm sorry. I actually forgot the question I asked too. And I was just like, yeah, you answered it. Okay, so that happens to me all the time. And I'm like yeah, absolutely. But I also hear other coaches, like beginner coaches will go Yes. I asked you this and you answered this, or I asked you that like, not really did I, you know, here's what I asked. And instead of getting attached to the question, I want to get attached to what the client said. Right? So like whether she answered it or not, at that point, I'm gonna go, yeah, absolutely. And asked my next question. And like, just go with that flow. Whatever flow she started, I'm going with that flow. It's not. I will note that maybe she didn't answer that question to see if it's avoiding. Like, is it because she went off on a different tendril? Or is it because she's dodging math? In which case I might bring it back around, just to poke at that a little more. See if we can look for that. If she's really, you know, stepping away from it, then I'll leave it alone, and she maybe isn't ready to do that. But I like my response is exactly what you did. And partly, sometimes I forget the question, but partly because like, I don't want to have to go back and I'm thinking, I want to keep this logo. So love that. Keep that really nice job with the twos. Like all the parts you did all the parts and you did them all well. So that was great. And did you notice you didn't really do any facilitating client growth until the tombs right? How that feel? Yeah, I was so I was so worried and then when she was like, oh, yeah, you know, it's so and then I was like, Oh, shut, exhale. away. If you ask them there is a takeaway. You ask them what the first step is, there is one so like that, I love that you had that experience. And I agree with the acknowledgement was really good. Just leave off.

Unknown Speaker

31:26

Good job.

Unknown Speaker

31:27

I know we want to say that.

Speaker 2

31:29

I say congratulations. It was with that impulsive, good job

Speaker 3

31:32

or like whatever. I'll say like so congratulations. Because I have like I'm a little bit too.

Speaker 4

31:41

So yeah, really, really nice session. Some really nice moments. A few little tweaks just just the new answer. Like he didn't do anything wrong, but like, here's what we can do just a smidge better. But really lovely. John, thank you both. Thank you, Ella for bringing your problem. I would say don't hesitate to big frame the big stuff even though it's 20 minutes. The question is how much progress you can make. Right? So bring bring the stuff time

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