2021-11-26-Discomfort (5 of 5) Comfortable with Discomfort

4:25PM Nov 26, 2021

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

discomfort

uncomfortable

happening

imc

week

mindfulness

comfortable

learn

teaching

meditate

practice

upright

greater

freedom

investigate

generosity

reactions

feel

ability

shortchange

So we come to the last talk on discomfort. I hope you've been usefully uncomfortable this week, not any more than usual, but that you learned something about the value of mindfulness of discomfort. I think that Well, as I like to say that if the Buddhism focuses ultimately on a certain kind of spiritual freedom, inner freedom, and if we become free only one we're comfortable, we're not really free. The one of the tests for how free we are, is to discover if we're free, while we're uncomfortable and uneasy, and there'd be always going to be discomfort in this world. So to find it or feel like it's a mistake, is going to be exhausting. And so we can develop a power, the power of being comfortable with discomfort, and discovering how to be free with discomfort, not free when discomfort is gone away. And, and this kind of combination of learning how to be free with discomfort is very, extremely useful. Sometimes if people think that they have to be comfortable, to be free, then we're never going to learn how to be wisely with discomfort. If we feel like if when we're uncomfortable, we have to react to it and and change it or fight it or hide from it or give into it, collapse around it or something, then we'll never discover how to be free. But the combination of learning how to be comfortable with discomfort. So and to be learned how to center ourselves or to be present for discomfort without reactivity. And, and in the play and be free enough. That why we're uncomfortable to be able to stand metaphorically stand tall or upright, metaphorically be able to look reality directly at look directly at reality. Discomfort is maybe always a message. And the question is a what is the message? And is it a message to heed? Or is it a message to not not give into the ability to be present for discomfort and being able to look reality in the eye to really see what's happening here. Sometimes we need to look at ourselves what's happening. And sometimes it's a call to look at what's happening around us. And is take discomfort as a message for greater attention. Something here needs attention. And, and then to look at it directly what's really going on here. This is beginning to exercise our freedom to look at what's happening, as opposed to giving in to the reactions about what's happening. And so this ability to then be able to stand comfortably in discomfort also gives us the ability, when it's appropriate, to be allow ourselves to be uncomfortable and do what has to be done. The discomfort it doesn't interfere doesn't distract us from what has to happen. It can be very uncomfortable, to to have to take a neighbor to a er to the hospital when the hospital is full and long lines outside and, and COVID is they're very uncomfortable. And the ability to what this has to happen, I have to help the neighbor, I know how to be uncomfortable. This is a time to be uncomfortable and not be caught by it. But keep keep focused on the task of helping the neighbor. The the and so they have this strength to have this capacity to have this maybe dedication to have the ability to stay present to investigate to see what's going on and take care of what needs to be taken care of without being sidetracked by the discomfort.

Now sometimes what's needed is the task at hand is to investigate the discomfort itself. And that investigation works a lot better. If we're not living in the reactivity with discomfort if you learned how to be comfortable with discomfort, because then we don't have filters over our eyes to see what's happening, we're more able to be honest and see more clearly and deeply what's happening. If we're looking at ourselves, same thing, if we're looking outwardly, this is uncomfortable social situation, I think it's important to take a good look and see what's going on here. And to be able to, again, not give into this comfort, not be be distracted by it. But to really take a bite not ignoring it either. But being able to use our capacity to look and investigate through what's really going on here. So I see this, I see this as, as a capacity to two things at once. The capacity to know or three things to know we're uncomfortable. To be okay with that. Enough so that we either look and see more deeply what's happening are we dedicate ourselves to the task at hand, we do what needs to be done, even if we're uncomfortable. So for example, giving a public speech for some people is very uncomfortable. But to learn to be comfortable with discomfort might mean yes, I'm uncomfortable. And I'm not going to hold back, I'm not going to go up there to the stage, I'm going to go up there and just stand there, and I'm going to do it. And I can be held back by the discomfort I'm not going to be inhibited by the discomfort, but I'll know it's uncomfortable. So this ability to to look at hold all this, I think is one of the great skills that we can learn from this practice of mindfulness. And it requires a little bit or a lot it takes not, don't be discouraged or upset, or avoidant of discomfort that occurs while you're meditating. Don't hold up a standard that meditation is only supposed to be relaxing and calm and blissful or whatever it might, you might think it is. Sometimes the greatest growth and inner growth can happen when we're willing to practice with our discomfort. When meditation is uncomfortable, don't go make yourself uncomfortable for this lesson. But when discomfort comes, don't shy away from it. Don't feel like oh, this is not the day to meditate. This might be the ideal day to meditate. You might learn more about freedom more about yourself more about your reactivity and more about how to not give into to discomfort. If you sit with it, upright clear, present, and really practice mindfulness of it. It might fight feel how it is in the body feel how it is in your attitudes, your reactions. So this week has been a call for all of us, me myself as well to understand the value of practicing with discomfort. And as I said yesterday, sometimes when we get into discomfort, we actually shortchange some of the most beautiful parts of what's possible in our life. We might be uncomfortable with love, we might be uncomfortable with receiving Chien, generosity from others, we might be uncomfortable with honesty, we might be uncomfortable, all kinds of things that interferes with rich valuable social interactions. And to learn to be comfortable with the discomfort so that our love our generosity, our care, our receptivity from others generosity, other people's love can flow freely is one of the advantages of being comfortable with discomfort.

So thank you for this. And I hope this has been useful for you and and I hope it does lead you to a greater comfort in this life, including a comfort with discomfort. So, a couple of announcements. So next week, I'm teaching a retreat, again at our retreat center, the second in person retreat. And we will have wonderful teacher coming, Ying Chen. She has been teaching here at IMC for some time and and I'm very, very happy and delighted that she's going to be able to be here for the 7am teaching. And then also, next Sunday, on the fourth of December 4, on the 11th, December, we're having another round of something we did back in May or June, which is a mindfulness circle for people who are identified as black. So Black identified practitioners people and to wonderful black teachers will be leading it and and it'll be on Zoom. It's set, I think, at nine o'clock in the morning, on on Saturday, that week from Saturday, a week from tomorrow in the following way. So if you're black or if, you know, black practitioner might value having, being in a mindful circle, there's some teaching and some discussion, some practice. You can find more information about it on the IMC website, easiest place to find it is either in the WHAT'S NEW section that in the bottom right hand corner, or on the calendar, it's also under programs and other places. So thank you, and I look forward to being back in you know, in 10 days or so and continuing here.