Hello, and welcome to our third talk on attunement. And the topic of attunement is the practice of attunement is considered here one of the building blocks for compassion. To have a rush to be compassionate before we put in place the building blocks for it can easily lead to compassion being misguided, and compassionate to be even detrimental for those who are being compassionate. And these days has been for a while now to talk about compassion, fatigue, compassion overwhelm. And it seems strange that anyone would ever be exhausted or overwhelmed by compassion. Compassion is to be overwhelmed or fatigue by compassion would be like saying that. With that don't know, the ocean is tired of being wet. They the, you know, the warm day is exhausted from being warm. That compassion by itself is not tiring, is not exhausting. It's not. It does compassion by itself does not make us victims does not hurt us even What's difficult is when compassion is mixed in with all kinds of other attitudes and tensions and attachments and things. And but it's often it's considered to be part of compassion, so people don't see the difference. But if we have these building blocks in place to be compassionate, then compassion can flow through us in a way that's even nourishing for us. Much more beneficial for others without the exhaustion. So one of these qualities is attunement, which this week I'm offering five different aspects of attunement. And today with letter you in this in the acronym touch is upright that when we encounter suffering, it's an occasion to make sure that we establish an uprightness. And what that means is we find our place of strength. And maybe it's an unfortunate term and United States these days for how it's been used. But, but if we can kind of do away with some of the most recent kind of weights discussed in the news, kind of like stand our ground, stand in our place, not to attack anyone not to run away from anyone, but just really, you know, own our place where we are stands, upright firms strong, not to be dumb, domineering, not to be aloof or distant. But in order to so the openness we have, can be supported by strength. And so this uprightness for me in pro applies and non collapse, not giving up and not giving in sometimes wins, they're suffering. People want us to kind of participate in their suffering on their terms, and to do the things that they want to they think is important to do. And it's not really clear that that's always the case should be necessarily the best thing to do. And so to, to, it's kind of like taking a sacred pause, to take time to be open, present, see the situation more fully, and establish ourselves in in the presence of this in a stable, relaxed, open way. And it's a way that our strength, inner strength can kind of meet we can be embodied with our strength. And the proposal I like to make is that when we are strong, our love is is more valuable. When we are really standing upright, metaphorically, you know, you know really kind of embodied and present and a clear way that when we love someone when we care for them when we're kind when we're friendly. It has more resonance, it has more. It's more as communicated through it. When we're open, and there's a kind of openness with that stand our ground. We're not asserting ourselves. We're not dominating over people, we're not rushing to kind of take care of them. But we are. Expressing care. Caring for and caring can be two different things caring for is what we do. Caring is a attitude. And that attitude has more space, it can be bigger, when when we're really open, and there's a kind of inner largeness and space and awareness. And when there's a stability and uprightness of strength day, ay, ay, ay, embodiment, that's really here for the situation, then, if people notice more feel, if more, they're more, if we are kind of, you know, sitting quietly to not disturb anyone in the corner of the room kind of making ourselves a little bit small. And we're sitting there kind of say, May you be happy, may you be peaceful, that might be nice to do that. But it doesn't have the same level of, of, of impact. I think that sitting up in the same chair, or pulling the chair out way from the corner. So we're there clearly in the room together with people. And then we have an attitude of kindness, then it's noticed that it's felt that has more, it has more texture, it has more aliveness, it has more there. And so, uprightness. So the first of these five qualities, with the acronym touch, is to talk with people find out what's going on. No, no. Think about it. That's tomorrow. Think about it. Have some thinking, have some reflection, what's going on here? How am I? In what? How am I receiving this? How am I present for this? What's the circumstance of what the context for the suffering them in touch with or that I have myself? What's the useful way to be with it? What does it mean to be attuned? How do I come into harmony with a balance with it? So asking questions is a big part of thinking about it, having you know, and it's not necessarily asking why something's happening, but thinking about how is it I can be present and attuned, to be open to experience is to increase our capacity to hold it. And rather than fixing things, a lot of dumber practices about expanding our capacity, to be present for our discomfort for things that are difficult, for challenging things. without resisting without collapsing, and when we don't collapse, then we can be upright. And so to think, to be open, to be upright, and, and then tomorrow, you'll see that that's when we're there's the CEUs to communicate, to actually talk to people talk with talk about what's going on. It's before acting before acting out of the compassion. And so this uprightness, where there's non collapse, powerful concept that comes from the Buddha, and it kind of says kinds of situations is to be undefeated. Do not be defeated by circumstance, do not fully sink down into being a victim, but rather, rise to the occasion, to be strong or rise to the occasion to be free, or rise to the occasion to be someone who takes a stance in mindfulness. Who's the word mindfulness is the home from which we live in this world, attentive, strong presence. And so to practice now, uprightness, not giving in not giving up, not belittling ourselves, diminishing ourselves, but also not aggrandizing ourselves as simple, relaxed. Really, here I am definitively not needing anything from other people. Not asserting myself to other people not giving in to what other people want automatically. But here I am, be present. So as you practice these things,
thinking, being open, being stable and strong, it's often useful to start in areas where it's relatively easy. Because it's like building a muscle. If we just go immediately into some of the biggest sufferings that humans can experience, we might not be ready for it. It's kind of like you have to work out a little bit and become familiar with a territory and how to be and build a strength and feel confidence in these different different steps. So I'd encourage you to see if there's ways, peaceful ways, non assertive ways that you could be upright today. Just to so you're really can be present and take into experience. See yourself see the situation more fully, without giving into anything giving up on anything, without feeling guilty or feeling unimportant. And there's a wonderful place in uprightness of neither feeling the conceit of being important, nor feeling the conceit of being unimportant. And if you are upright and present, being neither important nor unimportant. What are you? What is that like? So, thank you, and then we'll continue tomorrow.