Let me go ahead and get make sure we get everybody in from
Okay, awesome. So for those of you who may be new here tonight, this is Dr. Joseph parent. Dr. parent has written books on golf, tennis, dieting and mindfulness for families using stories from Winnie the Pooh. Well, on his website, you can find out about his meditation sessions that he host we didn't even talk about it. When is your next session was coming Thursday 9am Pacific. So that is the 27th I believe that goodness like Thursday's a 30th Right. Nope, you're right, the 27th I'm looking at March sorry. Everybody. So his next sessions Thursday the 27th at 9am Pacific time.
About a month behind.
So everyone is welcome. It is free. The schedule you can also find on his website. So I will put that in the chat column. But as always, if you guys need me, you are free to raise your hands.
You can get me in the chat column. But I'm gonna start this recording and I will turn it over to him recording in progress. There we go. Got it.
And Laura is asking for the link. Alyssa is about to put that on. Now that that's the link to the page where the Zoom link is.
So just go to that page on the website. Scroll down and you'll come to the Zoom link and here's the same zoom link every week. So if you capture it, you can continue on nice to see familiar faces and some new faces.
What is buried look like today?
I thought it was your barometric pressure on that gauge but I guess not okay.
What I want to do to do today, actually was just to start with some open space for questions. If you have a comment, a question from you know, we've been doing these practices for a long time. If you're new, you're you know, you can wait and we'll be doing the practices together. Or we go to the usual sequence today of
vividly inhabiting our body scanning to remove tension, getting fully grounded, then close placement with the breath and then more environmental awareness. And hopefully we'll have time to do some compassion, meditation as well.
So any comments questions?
Before we begin
get a quick update on how Andrew is doing.
Alyssa would know that. He is great. He was great. Only much better.
Sorry, very well for the 30 He had a he had a procedure.
Much better though. Thank you for asking. I'll let him know that you guys asked.
If there aren't any questions we can begin and to start with you can I want you to just reflect for a moment during that space where we're waiting.
What was going on? Were you just waiting. Were you thinking should I come up with a question and trying to think of one was it a feeling of I hope somebody fills the space.
Or was it?
I wonder what will happen just open space so nothing's Right. Or wrong. Just good to be aware of our state of mind and our leanings of our state of mind.
Now, when we practice
according to the tradition it's of more benefit to include others than to do it in a selfish way. Because much of the practice is about going beyond our small self and connecting with the our interdependence with the universe, which is a lot bigger than last I checked.
So what's beneficial is to set an intention when you begin the practice, and it's something that you can also set as your intention to start the day and that is to first of all be as attentive as possible.
But on a bigger perspective, feel like I'm not just doing this for myself.
And I'm doing this so that I can be of more benefit to others.
And if we set that intention it it opens us to more than our little concerns. And it opens our mind to the for that potential to be interconnected with everyone.
So just take a moment and in whatever in your own words.
Just set an intention, set an intention for your own practice to be as attuned as possible and for the benefit of your practice.
That the purpose is to benefit others.
And often, in the tradition, there's an expression
for both kindness and compassion and kindness or love is the the wish for all beings to be happy to have happiness and the causes of happiness.
And compassion is the wish for all beings to be free of suffering and free from the causes of suffering. So that's the way you can set your intention that may in my practice
be directed toward the aspiration that myself and all beings are able to enjoy happiness and the causes of happiness.
That all beings including myself, maybe free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
We'll return to that at the end of the session as well.
So on the basis of that intention, let's set ourselves up so that we can best accomplish our intention and that's through a proper posture that facilitates mindfulness and awareness.
If you're on a cushion on the floor, obviously your legs can be cross cross legged in front of you.
Sometimes people have a meditation bench in which they're kneeling and their legs are tucked underneath them. That's fine. If you're in a chair, it's good to be sitting without leaning back if you can help it if if you actually need some back support the best thing is to tuck something just under the under your backside under your tailbone. That helps support your back
so that you're not leaning leaning against something, but if you have to, that's okay as well.
Just sit up right as much as possible.
And the reason we sit up is because there's a tendency when we practice if we're lying down, we tend to drift asleep.
If we're standing up we tend to get antsy and want to move and there's walking meditation but that's already intending to move rather than just standing still. So we sit
and as far as your lower body is concerned as I said your legs are either flat on the floor hip width if you're in a chair or if your legs are long. Make it so that your knees are slightly lower than your hips. If you're sitting on a cushion on the floor, make sure it's high enough and or you're flexible enough that your knees can be slightly lower the level of your hips.
That keeps some strain off your lower back and your upper legs.
As far as your torso goes we want to be upright but not rigid.
And feel that we have firm back but a softer open front.
The one thing that I've found helps with that is if you find that spot in the center of your sternum your breastbone and feel like that spot.
Push it slightly forward and slightly up and you'll feel your chest open up your shoulders come back a little naturally your chin comes in naturally. It sets you up for a very good posture
for your breathing to happen very smoothly.
It will feel like there's a straight line between your tailbone and the back of the top of your head
maybe a little curvature in the middle of in the upper part of your back because your chest is opened up.
It may feel like your shoulder blades are moving towards each other a little bit. But this is very subtle.
You don't have to pull your shoulders back and pull your shoulder blades towards each other. Just feel your sternum go slightly up and slightly forward.
Just a little.
It sets you up for that open front open heart that you can open to the world.
Let your arms hang straight down from your sides.
Leave the elbows where they are and swivel your hands home down on each thigh respectively.
This way you're not reaching forward and curling your shoulders forward and not pulling your elbows back and feeling the pressure to almost fall backwards.
Now what does it feel like to be upright?
The uprightness is something you can't describe by itself.
If you let yourself tilted the hips slightly forward slightly back slightly to one side and select the other.
When you come to a center, it will feel like simply that you're not tilted one side or the other. Not tilted forward or back
just rest there in that posture
lips we certainly don't want our teeth clenched. We also don't want our mouths just hanging open so Look sir.
Just slightly parted or just barely touching if you just want to breathe in and out through your nose
even if you're just breathing through your nose. It's okay if your lips are just slightly parted.
In that case, let your tongue float up and rest lightly touching your upper palate just behind your upper teeth.
Let your eyes gently close if they aren't already.
Within that posture. Let's fully inhabit our body.
We often walk around like we are our head and our body is our transport vehicle.
It's like a robot that does what we need it to do.
But we are our body as well.
So let's fully inhabit starting from our toes
you can wiggle your toes a bit.
Feel your arches your instead.
Move your ankles a bit to your feet.
We rely on our feet so much that's what gets us where we need to go.
Now if you have a condition in which your legs are paralyzed and you can't feel your feet
just mainly work with your torso wait till we get there and work with the torso
roll your ankles.
Flex your calf muscles.
Your Shin muscles to we don't even think of them very often but feel the cylinder of your lower legs.
Feel your knees and the cylinders of your thighs.
The back or your hamstrings the top of your quads
feel how your legs connect to your torso.
Are there your sit bones shift your weight a little bit one side one bone to the other. You can actually move your legs, pushing one forward and pulling the other back and really feel the mechanism of your skeleton feel inside yourself
now you're your legs are fully activated until your torso your deep belly lower back
and there's depth on the front of your navel to your spine. There's depth there. We're not just two dimensional beings.
your ribcage is a cylinder as well.
It has width but it also has depth
feel the full depth of your torso
your chest, your shoulder blades
your shoulders, rolling your shoulders a little bit and that's where your arms connect to your torso
near in good posture, there's kind of a line strip plane that goes down from your ears, to shoulders to your hips
are all aligned
feel your upper arms, elbows, forearms and fingers fully inhabit your arms. Now your limbs in your torso are fully inhabited.
Feel your neck we're not that aware of how our neck connects to her shoulders. There are muscles there.
Feel the connection of your neck and your shoulders.
And then your neck up to your skull
we're face a little bit feel muscles of your face
know your body and mind are more together fully inhabiting your body.
Now ideally we don't want to hold any tension that we don't need for our posture.
Let's just scan now from the top floor head all the way down and just let whatever tension you encounter melt your scalp for her eyes yours your jaw.
We also often have tension that we're holding and don't even realize we're holding it
so tense your jaw a little bit.
clench your teeth.
Your jaw land wherever it is and bring your lips closer together.
Again slightly touching
your neck and your shoulders.
Don't just hang your shoulders hang like the canvas from a tent. Pole before it's pulled out into a tent.
If you feel tension there, it's not letting go. You can intensify and release. Just tense your shoulders raise them up by yours don't push them down but just let them fall
collarbone shoulder blades upper arms ribcage all around.
chest and upper back.
Lower back and deep belly stomach and deep belly. Sometimes we're tight in our stomach and our deep belly.
And if we let them go it's like our posture just goes like the air out of a balloon. So hold your posture would let your front soften
buttocks, your whole pelvic region is let go of any tension you find their
thighs, forearms and hands
knees calves, ankles and feet
with that good posture fully inhabiting our body
excess tension swept away
Be aware of your breathing
start by noticing the breath coming in and out of your nostrils
and notice it
you might notice it coming up through past your sinuses.
Notice it in your throat coming in down your throat coming back up through your throat
notice it going down behind your heart
is it going down?
past your ribcage past your stomach
feel it going down as if it's filling.
All the way down in your torso.
It's the feeling of your lungs filling but you're feeling your diaphragm pushing down to draw the breath down to fill your lungs.
So it'll feel like you're breathing all the way down deep into your torso into your core
tune into that feeling in your core
just let your energy sink sink into your seat.
See your weight is pressing down.
Your head and shoulders are extended up chest up
majestic like a king or queen sitting on a throne
like a majestic mountain
firmly grounded in the earth
as we work with our breathing the breath come and go.
Like the Wind.
Not controlling but just observing.
As we work with our mind identify with the openness of your mind.
It's the space in which thoughts emerge emotions feelings arise.
But it's bigger than any of them.
Mind as big as the sky
grass like the wind body majestic like a mountain.
Best you can tune into the feeling of your your core, your lower torso expanding and contracting as the breath comes in. And out.
Feeling of filling and expanding, emptying and contracting
now we'll begin to work with the breathing in that way that that's your object of attention
at this point, just let your eyes open about halfway.
So you're looking down below your eyelids but soft soften your gaze
it's just a gentle awareness of your body and the space your body sitting in as it expands and contracts with the breathing
you're not looking at anything particular.
And in fact, you may want to turn away from your screen so that you have some experience of space
so as if what you're seeing is the space you're sitting in rather than looking at particular object at the end of your field of vision.
If thoughts come up, they come and go like sounds or something passing by your field of vision.
But if the thoughts fill your mind and take your attention away into a daydream when you realize it just smile. You can use a mental label of thinking or wondering which simply means I was lost on daydream. Oh, now I'm already back. Now Let's reconnect with posture.
Breath in space and we'll do that for a couple of minutes.
you find that your mind is very, very busy.
Make a more detailed attention to the feeling of expanding and contracting the whole process of beginning to expand filling in full and low transition starting to empty emptying an empty field the transitions feel the texture
of filling an empty.
If you've gotten drowsy reinvigorate your posture, open your eyes and look further out and feel the breath as it's coming in your nostrils and going out your nostrils.
Notice the change in direction
Move around a little bit to get fresh start.
When you're ready
reengage your posture
you can mentally go through all the points.
Your checklist deferred till you feel like you're upright but not rigid.
Your head is not tilted down your chins not floating up.
Open heart open front, firm back
now look out further almost to horizontal.
Soften your gaze and open your peripheral vision.
So decide above and below.
to your perceptions
colors, shapes and shades of light and dark.
Open your hearing to sounds
near and far high and low pitched loud and soft
open up to bodily sensations that appear in your mind
even smells or tastes and open up to thoughts that appear in your mind.
They pop into your mind
dwell a moment and disappear.
Again, if thoughts occupy your mind and take you away into a daydream just make little mental note thinking which is code for Oh I was off in a daydream I've just woken up out of it. So I'm already back.
Tune into the technique
return attention to the technique and now we we put more attention on the outbreath that the body breathing by itself you'll notice that you're breathing in but you don't have to follow it in.
Follow the breath out.
Use it as a vehicle to open your mind to the space that you're in.
As the breath goes out, it dissolves and mixes with the atmosphere.
As the breath goes out, let your mind open up and mix with the space in the room.
Just rest there.
attune to sights sounds perceptions of all kinds.
Out open rest in the space
do that for a couple of minutes.
To go shades.
Open up your imagination with each out breath imagine that your awareness extends farther and farther.
Breathe out and imagine that your awareness extends out to the horizon in all directions.
Breathe out and imagine that your awareness extends out to the sky in all directions above as well.
Reserve and imagine that your awareness extends out into space in all directions above and below.
Imagine your awareness extends infinitely beyond the for the star
rest for a moment in that infinite openness.
Feeling of vast spaciousness and openness
is what allows us to extend ourselves beyond ourselves and open up to her interconnection with all other beings
we all inhabit this universe, this space
we all share
the wish to have happiness
which is all the different kinds. Peace contentment is
we all wish to be free from suffering, disease, pain, struggle, anxiety
and extend your imagination
to begin with those closest to you.
Imagine that as you breathe in you can take from them the suffering and in composite in your infinitely huge heart of compassion.
Your heart mind is as big as the universe.
It can accommodate their suffering
your heart of compassion can also generate kindness.
So as you breathe out, send out kindness
like cool moonlight rays of kindness that fill their beings with peace health and happiness
someone you love you truly wish I wish I could. I wish I could just take away their suffering.
You might even feel like like a mother feels about her child. I would rather take it on myself than have my poor baby suffer it's that motivation
explain that to everyone you know people you love people you are neutral about somewhat friendly.
And then people you have a hard time with
and of course when you're including people you have a hard time with that includes you yourself.
So wherever you feel negative emotions
which are the cause of suffering in yourself or others
breathe those into your heart of compassion.
transform them to the opposite positive emotion
breathing blame and guilt towards yourself or others.
Breathe out forgiveness and acceptance.
Breathe in anger and fear
with a patient patience and courage.
Now as best you can expand that to all beings as much as you can, and wouldn't it make you happy? If for just a moment you could free you could liberate all beings from their suffering.
Breathe that imagination breathe in and imagine that and imagine the good feeling the happiness you have and breathe out and send that happiness out to all beings
it's beyond happiness. It's a kind of joy
take away their suffering, feel the joy and extend that joy to them
a joy that goes beyond happiness
in finally just let go of trying to do something.
Just be with all the beings interbeing or interconnectedness and feel that oneness the one taste one flavor though all being share
Have you practiced no return to our intention that we began our aspiration that our practice benefit others and of course the last practice was fully that aspiration but we can contain it all and extend our intention.
And you can repeat after me or put it in your own words.
Made the practice I've just done.
And if you want to say me the practice we have just done. We're all in this together or the practice we've just done
be of benefit to others.
Beyond just ourselves
so thank you very much.
Oh, ad filled showed the time and space.
So we do have a few minutes. If you have comments or questions. Feel free to unmute yourself. Just jump in or a few if you'd prefer you can raise your hand and I'll call on you
Dr. Joe, I have a question.
ML Yeah, I have a question. When you do the compassion part of the practice. You keep your eyes open or closed up to you. Um, I forgot to mention that. Thank you. Whatever you're more comfortable with. I'm more comfortable with them closed because I find it limited.
Just because it it's not the same kind of meditation. It's more of a contemplation. Yeah, I'm still using the breath but it's using our imagination. So it's, it has a cognitive component.
So that's fine. No, it's fine
It does awareness of a state of mind. Actually fact that state of mind.
That's an interesting question. I don't see how it couldn't
you know, because you're opening to it.
So just, you know, the that's one of the principles of I think it's quantum physics that just the observing of something affects it.
And since its mind aware of itself.
It In my experience, what it does is it opens it up.
You know, it's it, the awareness of what you're experiencing. By being aware of it, you open it up to the full scope of your mind. So it exists in a bigger space.
Not something you can figure out and conceptualize. That's why the words the words start going like this. And, but that's traditional that you say words that don't make sense.
But point to
we all got deeply in there, didn't we?
Well, it's almost the top of the hour.
And I'm happy to stay on. I don't want people to feel like they. If they have to leave, it's fine.
And we can talk about anything that you want to practice. Alyssa said. There's a dream class that was happening.
We can talk about that a little bit to open topic.
I know this practice of taking suffering and giving joy is referred to as Tanglin. Yes yes, that's great.
It's a combination. Very often Tibet. They take two words and they take one syllable from each word and combine it into a combined word. And it means sending and taking.
Right oh, I actually time I love doing that most is just in daily life.
If I see if I see a person in suffering, I immediately breathe in and breathe out. I do that on the subway along the path.
And it's it's it's a spontaneous practice and but to do it in the concentration of calm abiding is a different experience for me altogether. It's it's wonderful because it has better breathing continuity to it. So thank you very much. Oh, you're welcome. No shortage on the subway. I mean, if you do want an opportunity to practice Tong Len just by your test Yeah, yes.
Absolutely agree. And it's, you know that it's something that you can do the it is important to have that flash of vast space that you're doing it within. So it's not like oh, I'm doing this guy a favor. Yeah.
And so I trust that that's that's the context for for the practice because, you know, they say it's one of the it's it's included in the collection of low junk practice which is Tibetan for training the mind.
And it is one of the what are called slogans or, or topics over 50 topics in there. And so it's included in that and the idea is that all of those topics should be should be addressed to memory.
So that when you encounter a the appropriate situation, the appropriate thought of putting others before your self comes to mind.
So there's a whole long list of them. I encourage you to explore those and, and see how they come up in your everyday life. It's a wonderful take. The whole point is to take this into our everyday lives. It's not I need an hour out from my life and then I'll get then I'll dive back in. So good, good show.
It's getting dark there.
You mentioned earlier on Thursday at noon. Eastern Time and 9am Pacific time.
There's going to be a class that I've never attended. Is that access to nightclub? No. It's my own. Oh, Jo, parent, you know, the posts that Alyssa put in earlier on the chat, okay. Okay. And it will be very familiar, because it's pretty much what we just did. Okay. All right. Thank you.
So as in is anybody taking that class on lucid dreaming this being the nightclub
any interesting dreams?
Ah more intense dreams, but none of them really lucid.
Yeah, Nadine. Yeah, I haven't managed any lucid dreams. But I don't know if I'm doing something purely wrong, but
I'm finding some times that my dreams are vivid. And then afterwards, maybe I'm getting old. afterwards. I find that I'll go that really happen. Like, did that and then I think no, no, that was really weird that that couldn't have happened. They they're kind of close to normal life. So I used is that A was that a memory? Or was they just all dream that? Is there anything I can? What is that about? Or can I work? With it or? So let me ask you a question. First of all, if you have a vivid dream, it is good when you wake up to write it down or write down. It's just some elements of it. Some notes of it.
Now, when you wake up from the dream you're in bed, right? Yeah. Okay. So is the question did something that was the was what was happening in the dream were you in bed and therefore you don't know if you thought that when you were awake or you thought that in his dream? Is that what you're getting at?
Or is it later on in the day? You think back and you go did I dream that or did that happen? Yeah, it's more the latter. Okay, that's what you write it down. Oh.
Oh no. Yeah, I because you might feel that and then and then you check and you go oh, yeah, that's right. That was That was last night or that was two nights ago or something like that. So that will help you just make little notes even if you you know, you may find yourself writing and when when I do it it's I write and as I write I remember more.
Laura is saying she's having trouble hearing me while other voices come in more clearly. Am I too far from my computer? Is everybody experiencing that? Yeah, you were a little softer. Your bit luck. I have it a little further from me than usual. So I'll work on that next time. If I just bring it to here. Is that better Laura?
Yeah, yeah. Okay. My fault.
But it was very quiet meditation required. Okay. So I'll share I'll share with you let this the most vivid ones and long ones that I experienced early in the morning.
Especially if I wake up and I did this in retreat, you'd wake up at five, do some practice and then go back to bed from six to seven or six to 730 and that's when they really rock and and in the dream I was at a reception and realized I didn't have pants on.
And I had a pair of pants. They're hanging in front of me and I thought, you know, oh, but I can't drop them down to put them on because that will expose you know, so I gotta find a place where I can put my pants on and then I had the thought I already pants on. I'm watching something on the internet period. Jerry, hang on a second.
Just one second. Oh, maybe he wasn't talking to us. Okay, so I had the thought. I said oh, I don't really pants on and and when I realized that I said this is like those dream that I have where I don't have any pants on.
But I didn't say that. Oh, so this must be a dream. Right? So that's like
remembering when you're in the dream that this is the dream like thing, but I didn't not quite lucid.
So I thought that happens. Share that sorry that happens to me quite frequently. I get dreams signs that are not aware of them until after wake up and remember the dream.
And what do you ever say in your dream? Oh, this is the kind of thing that happens to me when I'm dreaming. That not Yeah, not Yeah, no. Well, I'm not saying that's any particular there's a need to do that or it's any any particular positive sign even I don't know I just I just laughed because I woke up and said I recognize that it was something that happens to me in a dream but I didn't realize I was dreaming when I recognized it, perhaps is just a step. Little closer to the vicinity.
Lovely. Anyway, I just I can't have it. So I thought I'd share that with you guys. Well, it's 10 After
just about any any last comment or this is like the auctioneer Going once.
Thank you may may all have we do benefit others. Thank you.
See you See you here in a couple of weeks. Thursday morning. If you can make it you by recording stopped. Thanks Joe.