Hey, welcome back. And if you're new to the show, welcome, I'm so glad you are here. If you've been listening pretty regularly, I hope the practices that we've been discussing have been supportive for you. With this episode airing during the last full week of August, holy shit, really, to be honest, I find this year to be quite jarring for many people. For those whose summer schedule responsibilities, the dynamics of their life are quite different from the rest of the year as well as for those who find summer to be really like the only time they get to loosen their grip on their responsibilities, relax a bit or be leisurely. You know, like all that stuff. It can be really hard when that time comes to an end, especially for those of you who don't have a regular practice of leisure, enjoy, you know, like that stuff that we look forward to in the summer, if that's not built into your life, all the other months of the year and seasons of the year. And no shade and no judgement, of course, right? I mean, we are in the works of trying to figure out the better way forward for ourselves, and it's hard. So if you are feeling deeply unsettled, as you come to this episode today know that it's not just you, I'm in the same boat dealing with my own anxiety about, you know, how my schedule is changing quite more than normal in in the next few weeks. So it's not just you, and some unsolicited advice. Please make sure to see your therapist soon. And also keep on showing up to your self care as your bandwidth and capacity allow. And if you're like, Huh, what's that about? Well, I've got more coming to you later on in the episode. Right about that topic. So, friend, as I've said so many times before, you're not going to find me stopping anytime soon. Capitalism has us running ourselves into the ground and for nothing. We tell ourselves, it's for success. It's for security, right? But let's be real, where it's really getting us is burned out dysregulated feeling isolated, disconnected from ourselves and from others. And when I say disconnected from ourselves and from others, I mean, like on a deep and authentic level, like for real. If you'll indulge me on my soapbox for a moment, or maybe for five, you know, depending on how I go off right now, this work of disrupting the oppressive systems in our life, and namely, our well being and dismantling them does not require us to be martyrs and run ourselves into the ground in the name of being faithful servants of the cause. On the contrary, it requires us to be resourced, as full as we can be in the moment, even if it's not like, you know, gas takes on full right. It requires us to be aware, connected to ourselves living authentically, and being that person when we go out into the world, friend, disrupting the shit that is happening in the world disrupting it as it comes into our well being because it does, right, we've been talking about this a lot. It requires us to handle our shit. And be in the process of in like the continuous process really, of handling our shit. Not as in keeping a lid on things, but actively dealing with our emotions and meeting our needs as best we can. It's not waiting till shit becomes too much. And then kicking our damage control. Like obviously, that can happen sometimes. But that's not how we are meant to continue to live day in and day out. Right? Rather, we honestly we have to move towards having regular practices in place of you know, for supporting ourselves, so that you can build in more ease and more resources for yourself on a regular basis. And this is what we've been talking about every single episode this year, right. And number two, so that you can have these practices accessible to you when you need them in tough moments. Because the reality is supportive practices won't be top of mind in hard moments if we're not in the regular practice of them. Because in hard moments, our brain goes on reactive in defense mode, which is wired by what our brain wants to do to protect us. And that thing is not always the thing we actually need. And also remembering that coping is not dealing with the root of the problem right coping is dealing with what we are feeling right here right now. And in regulating ourselves, but it's not actually dealing with the bigger problem, the bigger issue. And also friend, taking this a step further. Disrupting dismantling the systems, including and especially Really how they are governing our well being also requires us not to be navigating turbulence and experiencing turmoil more often than not. I said it. And just to make sure we're on the same page with the meanings that I'm talking about with these words, according to the Googler turbulence, it's violent or unsteady movement of air or water, or of some other fluid, it could be conflict or confusion. turmoil is a state of grace, great disturbance or confusion or uncertainty. Now hear me out. There is so much scary shit happening out there in the world, in your community, maybe in your life itself. We are living in a society that constantly dysregulates us. It's fucking bananas, and unrelenting. And somehow, we have to continue picking ourselves up, especially those of us with identities that are marginalized here in the West, especially here in the United States, we have to continue picking ourselves up and moving forward, caring for one another working, connecting and living, surviving even. And, friend, with having said that, with having acknowledged that, as much as I'd love to lay all the blame of our inner turmoil on the fucked up systems, and how all that is playing out in our lives, especially for those of us of the global majority, and the folks in the LGBTQIA plus community, I'm going to say something really unpopular, and something that really may get your back up a little bit. We also, as an us, as individuals have some culpability in the turbulence and turmoil we experience on the inside. And the reason is, we each have subscribed to certain aspects and characteristics of white supremacy culture, which governs every fucking thing, especially here in the United States. And yes, that goes for even those of us in black and brown bodies. Friend, I got to tell you like what I'm about to share, this has been such an eye opening, like journeying through this understanding has been such an eye opening experience for me, because if you don't know, I'll give you a little background on me. I grew up here in the States child of immigrants. And I was raised in a predominantly white town. And I subscribed to so much of dominant culture, white supremacy, culture, tactics and teachings. And I'm just now in my 40s beginning to understand how I subscribed to all this shit. That was designed for me to not have success to not be well as a person of color. It's been fucking wild. So if this blows your mind, great. Come along with me. If you already know some of this shit, I'm hoping that it validates you. Who, so friend if if, in saying this, it brings up a lot of feelings if you're feeling defensive or emotionally flammable, if you're having some sort of response that needs tending to please go ahead and do that for yourself. Right. Of course, my intention is never to cause emotional harm. And yet intention does not equal impact. And if I'm speaking plainly, that it is inevitable that sometimes feelings will be hurt or bothered, and I 100% own that. So please feel free to pause here come back when you feel resourced no matter how long it takes.
If you don't already follow Caroline J. Sumlin, who's pronouns are she and her on Instagram, she is an author and speaker and advocate for humanity and liberation, that's from her profile. And you'll find her at Caroline J. Sablan. On on Instagram, and I love what she has written in her profile bio, helping you reclaim what society stole from you. She wrote a book called we'll all be free how a culture of white supremacy devalues us and how we can reclaim our true work. Now, she has a post pinned on her grid that I want to talk about I want to highlight here, it gives us a lot of context. And um, in this photo, the graphic I should say on the grid, on her grid, it has text centered, that says characteristics of white supremacy culture that are written in like bold text, and around that statement characteristics of white supremacy culture, our images, different images with Title scattered around it. And these images include perfectionism, so Again, we're talking about characteristics of white supremacy culture. And they are perfectionism, individualism, objectivity, power hoarding, either or thinking, right to comfort worship of the written word, quantity over quality, one white, the one right way, processes bigger, defensiveness, sense of urgency, paternal paternalism and fear of open conflict. In the post, she gives credit, saying that these characteristics of white supremacy culture are per the work of Dr. teamup Okun, Kenneth Jones and other scholars of dismantling racism.org. And she writes in I'm quoting here, I'm quoting the entire post, I challenge you to approach this with an open mind, your default reflex to seeing this will be defensiveness in caps. What do these characteristics have to do with white supremacy? I feel attacked, these are just quote good traits of decent functioning society, right? These traits are measured of quote, professionalism, success and morale. Unquote. How dare they be linked to white supremacy? So basically, she's saying what you might be thinking what we, as readers might be thinking. And then she goes on to say the reaction right there is white supremacy culture. Why? Because white supremacy culture is a culture that placed whiteness and anything that protects it on a pedestal. Whiteness must never be questioned, it must not be touched, it is superior in a supreme, a society that was built on the foundations of brutal oppression with the justification of manifestation Manifest Destiny must never be questioned. We are taught early on to never question that status quo, the authority or the rules even when we see the terrorists causing. Since our rule, society's rules have always been to protect whiteness, challenging the rules equals challenging white nest. Thus, defensiveness becomes a trait a key trait of white supremacy, starting to see the connections she asks. And she goes on to say each of these characteristics can be traced back to the foundations and development of white supremacy to the society and culture we live in today. These traits have emerged from the development of white supremacy, they are the result of it, does that mean that these trees don't exist outside of white supremacy not at all. However, within our Western society, these traits have become dominant, normalized and protected because of white supremacy. And they work to keep white supremacy in its proper place. And quote, oh, friend, there's so much in there, and we could spend episodes unpacking all of that, I encourage you, if you're new to this, if even if you've been on the journey for a while, and you're not following her account, please go and follow I find so Oh, just so much I get so much from it. And I'll be honest, some of these traits, these characteristics of white supremacy culture, I'm still learning about someone still unpacking and processing in my own life. You know, not that you asked. I say that, like, I can hear you talking to me. But for me, it's been a whole ass journey. Understanding that my perfectionism tendencies, my obsessions with success, feeling like I had to rely on myself only at school or in the workplace because others viewed me as a threat or not good enough. My sense of urgency, these are all wrapped up in white supremacy, culture and my experiences with racism. And wow, the work to relearn new processes and procedures and understand my feelings and triggers Holy shit. So if you're feeling defensive or mind blown or curious, I encourage you to sit with all this, let it marinate, start talking with your therapist, or someone who's also doing the work with you. And you might be wondering why I'm bringing this up now. Because if you've been around the show for a while, you know every episode aligns with the needs for the week, the month and the season. And as I said earlier, I find this time to be quite jarring for many people, right? Especially if they find that summers their only time to relax. And then for the people who throw their daily routine out the window when summer comes. Their daily rhythm goes out the window. This is an especially excruciating time, the dooming and anxiety are real. And as I mentioned, I've mentioned before previously in other episodes when it comes to fall, it's a variable season energetically. So that means that the energy is changeable and ever changing. The qualities of this season can feel really great for those of you who are feeling stable energy but if you you know your dominant energy or currently you're currently feeling more unsettled energy or like gogogo fiery energy. This variability of the fall season coupled with the beat dizziness, that typically happens this time of year, and capitalism's Go, go go until you know December I don't know 20 If that energy makes fall an incredibly intense time and possibly quite dysregulated and friend like if you're in a pretty strong relationship with inner turbulence and turmoil based on you know, your self esteem, your self confidence, your self worth your perception of yourself and expectations, basically any or all of your existence, then friend, it's quite possible that all of that will be highlighted will come to a head ahead and will be exacerbated in the fall
some personality characteristics of vata energy and that's the energy that governs fall are creative, flexible, as in like within the muscles and within like movable joints, but also as in like mentally, like you can figure out other paths and solutions, but in excess tends toward worry, fear and anxiety. And what are, let's draw connection here, what are the characteristics of white supremacy culture that we talked about earlier rooted in fear, fear of not being enough of being too much of being who we are of not being accepted or being ridiculed or worse being harmed? Right? We hold those fears because of white supremacy culture. And for so many of us, myself included, we are constantly in our heads, wondering should I do this? Should I not do this will what will people think of me, and this has everything to do with everything, nothing is off the table, not work decisions. It has to do with home decisions, eating drinking, working, leisure, rest, fucking everything, it has to do with everything. And you know, whose whose fears who the besties are of fear, fears, besties or guilt and shame. Now, friend, I know the world is really fucked up. And in some instances, we are not doing ourselves any favors, and perhaps are allowing some of this fuckery to own real estate in our head and heart. And the truth is, we are causing, or at least not smoothing some of our inner turmoil to be led to turmoil. Sometimes we're feeding it. So if you're feeling attacked, or called out right now, remember, this is not my intention, right? But my mission is to disrupt and dismantle all the fuckery going on. So I have to shed light on this hard stuff and name the shit that might be uncomfortable. The work here is in being in this discomfort of getting curious about it, understanding it and figuring out where your work lives lies in moving through it. Right. So how do we start to smooth things out is the question. I always find myself coming to this question this answer first. And that's therapy, right? And then not just the therapy, but in the days in between sessions being in the constant state of handling your shit, remembering that there are many ways to do this. We've been discussing daily rhythm, daily practices all year, right? That's all helping you. And then the next step is to be supremely aware of yourself in the moment of how you're feeling and behaving. Western culture calls this mindfulness and hand in hand with that supreme awareness of how you're feeling and behaving in the moment, is also being aware of what you need. And the next step, and this is where things can get really uncomfortable is meeting yourself in the moment of what you need. This could be more of the same of what's occurring or less, or maybe something else altogether. Also, by meeting your biological needs in the moment using the bathroom, having a snack, taking a break, having physical contact with someone or an animal, baby, and also not bypassing yourself or gaslighting yourself based on what's coming up. And yes, of course, the reality is we're not always going to be able to meet our needs in the moment, right? Like, you know, you might say, Well, fuck, like a million dollars would solve a lot of my problems or like racism ending or, you know, trans folks being safe and cared for in this country. Yeah, it's not going to happen right now. It should. But it's not it's not right. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't still take care of ourselves. And it doesn't mean because honestly, friends, the more we take care of ourselves, in spite of this fuckery then for me, the less power it has, and the more power I have, and the more power I have moving forward to fuck Shut up. Right? And so the idea here is even if it's like these big as things that you're like, Fuck, this is what the change I need. Then the question still is, how can you meet your visceral need, as in your deep inward feeling rather than like your intellect telling you Oh, well, I should be doing this or I should be doing that. But what do you need right now? And how can you meet yourself in the moment with something so small, that might you might make you feel more safe, or held or cared for or whatever else it is that you need? Because the reality is we cannot end racism or the attack on trans folks, as dysregulated turbulent and in turmoil messes, we just can't. And friend, you're not going to end burnout or have better boundaries. If you're in a constant or often state, like you're often in a state of dysregulation, turmoil or turbulence. That's a fact. So friend, I have a few offerings today, to support you, in your journey to smooth out the turbulence to soften turmoil to ease dysregulation. Now in the last two episodes, I offered the practices kind of going from if you've had like, low bandwidth and capacity, so like to high and today, I don't really have them ordered that way. But I still encourage you to choose based on that kind of manner. So the first offering is a process for moving through the day with mindful awareness. And this is to, to check in with yourself, how am I feeling? What's going on what's present? And identify when you're feeling unbalanced. What's happening? Ask yourself, why what's the root? Because this is really important, right? We, I feel like in Western culture, we're very reactive people, right? We're reactive beings. up this is the this is happening. So I need to do this right? Rather than getting curious about like, why like what's going on? We don't because we don't have time for it. Right? And we're not always taught to do it. So you got to ask yourself, like, what's, what's the root of what's going on? Is it inner protection? Is it fear? Is it old narratives false truths? Is it the system weighing you down? And what additional support do you need? The second practice, right? And not only I have lovely, before I move on to the second practice, when you ask yourself, what additional support do you need, then doing something, right, do something that will meet yourself there something very small. Now, the next practice is to pinpoint supportive coping mechanisms that you'll have at the ready for regulation. So this is like shit hits the fan, or it's about go in that direction. And consider practices based on your energy like the energy that you are feeling. What are you going to do if you're feeling anxious or frantic? That's when vata energy is in excess? What are you going to do when Pitta energy is in excess? And you're feeling anger and frustration? A need to be control in control or like achieving at all costs? How do you soften all that. And then practices for when Kapha energy is big and you want to uplift stagnation or, or feeling really sad or, you know, softening overwhelm. When you are feeling like big time energy in either one of those places, how will you meet yourself in the moment to offer some support. Now, the third practice is pranayama. This is one of yoga philosophy, one of yoga philosophies, eight limbs, and I encourage you to develop a breathing practice. And if you already have a breathing, practice deepening your relationship with it, right prana is translating to breath of life of vitality, wind, energy or strength. I Yama is length. And so pranayama when you put the two words together, it's like an extension of breath, and it's control. And this has control over the entire function of breathing. And also pranayama also refers to your soul, like the vitality of your soul, the strength of your short soul, the energy of your soul, rather than just the body. But a regular breathing practice helps us to do a lot of things right. It can help you to deal with respiratory diseases, strengthen the respiratory system, deal with stomach and digestive issues, cope with mental illness, manage and deal with issues that stem from stress, we help to soothe our nervous system, also, you know, can help us to just bring our focus to ourselves in a way from thoughts and emotions that just feel like they're overwhelming and too much. So the question I have for you is how can you come to your breath to offer the to help foster the stability we talked about last episode, and maybe ease turbulence and turmoil and dysregulation.
Now each season I offer you breathing tools that will balance the energy of that season and this summer we talked about full torso, breathing sheet, delete, sheet carry, and left nostril breathing. Now, these practices will still be beneficial for you You in this last month of summer, because we have summer until like the 20th of September. And then when we get into the fall, we'll talk about what the breathing practices that we'll be balancing for that season. Now, that takes me to our fourth practices. And this is the final thing I'll talk about today, in terms of soothing turbulence, turmoil dysregulation, and all of that is to and this is the biggest one, this is going to require a little bit more bandwidth, and a little bit more capacity possibly check back in with your daily rhythm, for practices to remain resourced on a regular basis, because a few of these things we talked about, in terms of coping, right coping with big enormous feelings in the moment when shit hits the fan, or when you're starting to feel dysregulated, right. But friends, what I'm ultimately wanting you to do, wanting you to begin to consider as you can, as you create a little bit more space and time as you start to just soften the dysregulation the turmoil and the turbulence is to come to give a little bit more attention to your daily practices, the ongoing daily practices and starting to come to to them from a place of love and support rather than should. And I know that it can be really hard to make that shift. But friend, once you do, it's a game changer. Because you know, self care is important, you know, connections important, you know, all these things are important. But the way that we come to them, that's really different. And that can make a difference, I should say. And within this practice of coming to our daily practices from a place of love and support. And there's another shift that's also a game changer. It's something that I've been talking about quite a bit these last couple of episodes. And if you haven't quite tried it, it may be a little uncomfortable, because it doesn't align with Domina culture, surprise, surprise. And that's based basing your self care actions on how you're feeling your bandwidth and your capacity. And also a little bit also, I shouldn't say a little bit but and also what we talked about last week with how the season affects you. Because I love to ask you questions, so much center your dialogue, I got to ask you this question. What if your self care actions including your asana, pranayama, and meditation practices, were based on how you're feeling your bandwidth, which is the amount of time you can actually spare? And your capacity, which is what you're capable of doing with the time and energy you have? I'll say it again. What if your self care actions including your asana, pranayama, and meditation practices, were based on how you're feeling your bandwidth, which is the amount of time you can actually spare and the capacity, which is what you're capable of doing with the time and energy you have. Now, feel free to pause here, right? Pause me talking, and let the question sink in. Maybe even jot down any thoughts or feelings that are coming up? Maybe you write this question down, and you come to it later, another day. But then come back to me to this episode of me talking in your ear, because I have more questions for you to consider. Here there. What if you started your day or checked in with yourself periodically and ask yourself how am I feeling today? What do I need to feel supported? How can I meet myself there in small ways? Where can I ask for help delegate change the plan? Or say no? Right? This goes back to the mindful awareness piece. When it comes to your actions, especially if you're feeling you know, pressed for time, Dread, anxiety or resistance, you might ask yourself, Do I have the energy to do this the way I normally do? Is this a situation where I need to just do it as per usual and get it done? Or do I need to adjust and let either one of these things be okay? Because here's the thing, and we've talked about this a lot guilt and shame are real. And dominant culture tells us that we need to be consistent and we need to have the willpower to push through our barriers on the name of discipline. Thanks white supremacy culture. So when we quote unquote fall short of what we normally do or feel we need to do. And this is informed by success, dominant culture things right all the characteristics we talked about earlier, when we quote unquote fall short, we feel epic guilt and shame. Most of us not all of you maybe right some of us and in the process some of you I know I do this compare ourselves to other and remember Comparison is the thief of joy, right? So no friends, no, just no. Enough of this. And friends, I'm talking to myself in this episode, I'm talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to you. Please know who now how am I feeling? Consideration number one? Consideration number two, what have you considered realistically the amount of time you actually have to do this thing as part of your decision making making process like Have a fucking boss project manager because you know when it comes to your work, your consideration of the time it takes to do something is a valid factor you are constantly considering whether you are a small business owner or you work for someone else. A humble reminder to you friend your self care is no different. And if you're like whilst have no need for market research over here, I can tell you there is not enough time for what I need to do for myself. To that I say I see you and it is time for us to get together to assess the situation to see how we can adjust what you're doing it to honor that because friend, it is possible. I'm going to ask you the big question a third time because I love it so much. What if your self care actions, including your asana, pranayama meditation practice were pieces based on how you're feeling your bandwidth, and your capacity? With consideration here's a twist with consideration to how much energy and the type of energy we have. Here in the West friends. When we talk about energy, it's pretty common to talk about it from me feeling high energy or low energy perspective. I often think of this as like, am I feeling big energy to do the damn thing? Or am I running on empty but it's also important to acknowledge if you're somewhere in the middle, right because we often live in the extremes like this was a great day this was a terrible day. We don't acknowledge like the in between, like it's bad, or like not as important but it's really important. So like you might be somewhere in the middle like I've got just enough energy not too high, not too low. So you can ask yourself Is your energy level high medium or low and based on your answer what adjustments need to be made? And a consideration for high energy How can you be sure you don't do too much without pacing yourself and crash and burn or overdo it? And of course I can't just leave the conversation there I have to offer a deep offer a deeper ideal Miss which is what type of energy is present before I talked about? Are you feeling high vata energy anxious frantic? Are you feeling high Pitta energy like, like you've got to go and do all the things no matter what? Angry maybe you're burdened shut down like rolling through life like a fucking Firestorm criticizing yourself. Everyone else? Their parents, their grandparents, their dog their plants in the process, right? Where is it big time? Kapha energy that has you feeling lethargic, unmotivated, easily overwhelmed or resistant to change? Because the reality is friend, hear me out here how you come to your life and practices will be affected. If there is an excess of one of those energies. Think about it. How do you approach life when you're feeling worried versus angry versus unmotivated? Or sad? And what is your capacity life like? So friend, this needs to start being a regular consideration, rather than continuing leaning on your coping mechanisms when shit hits the fan. Friend according to Ayurveda, we achieve harmony when we honor our nature and nature outside and use their qualities as well as its opposing elements to guide our decisions about our self care actions. Now, here's the thing, if you're feeling really uncomfortable, fielding the questions of how are you feeling right now? What support do you need if you're feeling an imbalance or unbalanced? Like what could help you feel a little bit more ease or towards harmony? What could help you smooth out turbulent, softened turmoil or ease dysregulation? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, please? No, it's not just you. I can't tell you how many people are uncomfortable by those questions and don't know how to meet themselves there. Because maybe they've never been asked those questions, or they've never been given space to answer them, or been given support to actually meet themselves their friend. These are the questions that are the foundation of the Align yoga classes I teach weekly. And often this class is how I get my clients more comfortable with being asked these questions and beginning to build the skill of discerning what they need, why and what to do about it.
So friend, if you're like shit, I kind of need like more help and more support in in coming to these questions. There is an opportunity to come experience this exact questioning line of thinking and exploring how to meet yourself there in the fall back to yourself series coming up in September. This is a four part series I created specifically for yoga teachers, yoga practitioners, and anyone wanting to begin a practice and it's with these people in mind that I created this and align yoga practice is one of the four sessions and in this class and my class always I'm not changing it just because this is something for a series right I offer variations and options based on what the type of energy that is present and how to meet yourself there through breathing and Asana choices arm placement, speed of practice, the time held in each shape. And each practitioner is reminded they have full agency over themselves and autonomy over their practice. And in addition to all of those invitations and all that exploration And I'll also be offering options to help balance how the fall season is landing within you. So friend if you're like fuck yeah, I need to try this because I'll be honest, like, this is quite a new experience for a lot of people even for people who are PYP and practicing yoga or even teaching yoga for many years if they if they haven't been practicing with or if they don't haven't had a lot of exposure to iron betta this way of practicing was very new to me for many, many years. So my friend if you're like, Yeah, hell yeah. Come join me in the fall back to you series. You can get all the information and save your spot at Steff gallante.com/fall registrations open we start the end of the September friend sign up early you know your schedule is gonna be bananas soon. So make sure you schedule this in. And as always, before we leave one another, I'll offer you some wrap up considerations. How can you use the teachings or what comes up for you to human more usefully and to support and uplift those in your community, especially those who are different from or hold identities more marginalized in your own? How can you use it to connect more authentically and deeply to your community to begin to move toward mass mutual Alliance and away from Western cultures individualistic society until next time, my friend please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would to those who are most precious to you. Whether that's a human animal, baby or a plant. I would love to hear your thoughts about the support and guidance I've provided in this episode or any other episode. So please feel free to reach out and share that with me and if you've been loving the show, please share it with your nearest and dearest and leave a review or rating. My friend remember you are a badass and you are enough now go be your favorite self and be well
