#59 Embodiment & Self-Expression with Nikolina Adzic
5:14AM Mar 9, 2022
Speakers:
Keywords:
feel
people
vulnerability
stepping
life
freedom
judge
happening
connect
part
stories
simplicity
experience
body
big
distraction
awareness
conversation
deeper
notice
spending some time with my family and my little nephew. So I have a 15 month old nephew.
And how is that from your sister or brother, my
brother, my brother. And he's my only nephew. And I haven't seen him in a few weeks, it'll be nice to like spend, you know, some really good quality time.
Like, just build up that connection. What's his name?
Joker. So the Joker? Yep. So he was named after my grandpa. And that was his nickname. So yeah, it's, it's a little unique, especially where we live. So he'll be he'll be the only Juca probably in his school.
Like that. I always, I think when I have children, I definitely will be the type of person that leans towards unique and a little bit out their names.
No, I and the thing is, and you know, I'm sure that this will come up in our conversation. But, you know, I moved to the US when I was 10. And most of my life I spent trying to like assimilate and really blend in and be be something that I really wasn't, you know, so I do feel like that there's like, a really big importance of having like, comfort and having the confidence to own like, your roots and your heritage. And like, you know, a lot of times, you know, parents will say like, Oh, why would they name their kid that you know, and it's like, we do so many things to make life easier, right? And it's like, but there's nothing wrong with like, standing up for something, right. And even if it might mean like, explaining a few things, and like, where his name comes from, you know, so it's like a really good, I think teacher to, you know, teach people to not just assimilate to what's easier, and what's just, you know, the norm, but instead like, just like owning that, like part of you, you know, so
me, definitely, I like gives you a gives an opportunity to really embrace your uniqueness as well. And what it is that makes you unique, like a name is more than just a name a collection of words together, there's so much more depth behind it.
Mm hmm. Yeah, I agree with that. And it sparks you know, more intimate conversations. When, you know, people can ask, like, what is what, like, what, what is the meaning behind it? And, and it kind of, um, not always, but oftentimes, it might help, like, get rid of this kind of, like, small talk, right? And we can kind of get right into that that like juice of exactly like you said, like, what is the meaning and where does it come from? And, and, yeah, and teaching people that, you know, we have all different cultures around and that that's, that should be embraced, right? Like these, like, huge differences in this like uniqueness. And hopefully that is where we're going. So yeah.
Talking about talking about juice, let's get into the juice of this conversation, I think, cuz I feel like this is gonna be a really powerful one, for ourselves and for our listeners, as well. So if you could give a short introduction to yourself, and then share what's on your heart to speak about today to share today.
Yeah, well, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to start my morning with you. And just yet, like jump into this conversation. So a little bit about me. You know, I? Well, I guess I'll start with the technical things. I call myself
a new name. Because you have a unique name as well.
Yes, I do. So my name is Nikolina attic. And I'm an embody but an embodiment guide, energy healer. And I like to call myself a freedom facility. I
do not know if that title. Thank you. Thank
you, thank you and I and I like that freedom facilitator because really what I am passionate about, and what my work is, is bringing people into freedom into freedom with their bodies, with their self expression, with the way that they just like inhibit this vessel in the way that they feel it feel inside of it, the way that they speak the way that they embody their essence. So that all really revolves around that freedom to just be who you are. And you know, my life has brought me to that point. I always say we teach what we need the most all the things that I have, oh, yeah. Right. All the things that email has been a long journey and a really long learning process of, of connecting back to my body. I had you know, I struggled with confidence my whole life to the point of anytime I would speak in front of people I would break out in hives, like it was intense, you know, so I know what that feels like. I know what it feels like to be so scared of being hurt. I know what it feels like to be like so disconnected that you're just kind of trying to mould and fit in somewhere but it's like, you know, killing your soul almost and and it's been a long journey. And once I kind of stepped over that threshold and found that freedom for myself. I was like I want to be Bring this to others and, and I there is, you know, I live in a small town especially and I think sometimes it's very much visible in small towns, right? This kind of like contraction around the way that we move through the world, around the way that we speak with people around the way that we dress and just show up, there is this like, very big pressure to just like fit in, right and like, not be judged. So the more I see that, the more I really stepped back into, like, this is so much needed. You know, especially as a woman, like kind of breaking through these, these stories that we've just told, we had to, like, be in inhibit, so. Yes, that's where that freedom facilitator comes in. It's like, all different scopes of finding your freedom and, and doing it from a place of like, really deep connection. So it's not just, you know, like, it doesn't feel like it's just, you know, just, oh, let me give me the freedom, it feels like very much structured and very much like held so that you can fully embrace that. So that is a little bit about, I guess what I do? I tend to go off on a little tangent,
no, thank you for sharing. Through our stories, I think I saw this on on your profile, actually, or something that I was looking at to do with you about through our own stories, we empower others to find the power in their own stories. So I think it's super important that we're also given the space to share those stories without the fear of judgement from others. So thank you. And I know other people will now connect with you as they listen through this episode. Yeah,
thank you, you know, that the hosts that yes, telling stories is such a gift. Right? And, and it really brings us back to that state of vulnerability. And that's another part that I really like stand for is, is how can we be more vulnerable? Right? And what how can
we be more fun? Yes, through your eyes or your perception. So
well, so my vision, and I think that this is such a big, beautiful thing about vulnerability is like vulnerability allows us the opportunity to connect deeper, right? Like when we are when we're feel comfortable in just opening up. And, you know, instead of asking someone like, Hey, how's the weather? Like, what if we asked, like, what is your dream for this year? Or, Hey, can I read you something that really touched me? Right, and and this is what I imagined, like these kinds of conversations happening in the grocery store, and happening in waiting lines at the post office, or, you know, whatever, wherever you are. So that is like a really good start to vulnerability, right is like, you're not necessarily going into your own story that you might still be healing or trying to, you know, find comfort in, but you're just letting yourself open deeper, like, beneath the surface. So many of us we live kind of here, right in this like mediocre state. And when we let ourselves go deeper, even just by that by sparking a conversation that is outside the box, right? Like even that, like, Hey, what's your dream for this year, looking at someone and smiling at them, and in really like, making eye contact that doesn't just, you know, look away? Like, how can we learn to be comfortable to look someone in the eye for a little longer, right? Even if it is a stranger, like let's acknowledge those, those connections, let's see strangers as these, like fleeting, you know, portals of wisdom and connection. So that is like a, you know, my first invitation into vulnerability. And then the second invitation is to start to feel and know that your story has a place, because we all go through so many similar things. And yet, we all try to hide it. So all of us are kind of walking around, feeling like we're the only ones that this is happening to. And yet if we looked around, probably most of our neighbours are experiencing the same things. So when we start to share these stories, and when we start to normalise, or I like to say humanise the human experience, we connect so much deeper through that vulnerability.
Hmm, I really loved and I loved that. That quote that you said there about the portal to wisdom or something. I thought that was super beautiful. And there's a way of describing this. What do you think are some of the blocks that people experienced to allowing this, this deeper access to vulnerability, not just with themselves, but also with others?
Yeah, that's a great question. And once again, this is such a human experience, right? Like and this is why I love to talk about like this like self expression and embodying who you truly are because that when we do that, we really get to access the and experience, and and we get to amplify it because I think the biggest block is that we're afraid we're afraid of what will they think of me. And also, we haven't really been taught to hold vulnerability. So a lot of times, you know, as the receiver, I don't want someone to be vulnerable with me because I don't know what to say. Right? We're so concerned about like, even when someone cries, for example, you know, it's like, Oh, don't cry, because it makes me uncomfortable. Right, like, so I believe that there is this is this like, block. And then also, I think that we we just tried to fit in this box of normality, you know, quote, unquote, I put that in quotes. Because, you know, when we think of imagine now, someone coming up to in the waiting line, and, and instead of saying, you know, I don't know, I like your purse, they say like, Hey, something really touched me. And I would love to read it to you. It's a few sentences, are you open to receiving it? That receiving person probably be like, Wow, I've never heard that before. And
alarm bells going off and then a system.
Exactly, because it kind of comes outside of this, like normality. So so many of us are really trying hard to fit into that box of what normal is. Let me just wear you know, what's, what's easiest, so that I fit in and let me not put on this funky hat. Because then people will look at me, let me just stay in my normality lane. And, and we feel comfortable there. And it doesn't mean that it's, you know, comfort, don't confuse comfort with like, what's real? And and, you know, what's, what, like, what should be right? Because we can get comfortable in the let's even take, for example, unhealthy relationships can become comfortable, right? It doesn't make them. Okay, so sometimes we confuse comfort with, Hey, this is comfortable. So this is the way it should be. And that's not true. Right? So I feel that that comfort is the biggest obstacle in so much of our human experience. Even when it comes to you know, this, podcasting was limitless, right, even when I when I when I think of that I think of really think of like going after your dreams, right. And comfort will also hinder that. So I think as as a humanity, if we can just learn to little by little step outside of those comfort zones, that that's where that like full spectrum, life force really lives. You know.
I love that and resonate with that so much. For people, this is obviously a very unique experience. But what is that pathway to moving outside of what we feel is the box that's been limiting us and the comfort zone that's been keeping us away from going after our dreams, what is that pathway to begin to take those steps? Because it can be super daunting. I mean, I've been there, I'm still going on that journey. So
absolutely. And I think it's a it's really like a lifelong journey. It's never like you just like you know what I sent over the edge. And here I've arrived
as many, many edges.
Yes, and everything, even nothing is linear. I explained even the embodiment process, it's like a continuous cycle, it's a circle that, you know, you receive information, then you go into the integration, you integrate it, and then you you embody it. And then at that new level of embodiment, you reach new information. So you're back in this consistent circle, right, that goes all different directions. And that is really how it works with, with everything was stepping outside of your comfort with learning new things with embodying new things with because at every point, there's feedback, there's feedback into where do you need to integrate deeper, like what pieces you haven't really fully sink in with or sat with? And maybe you have, but now they like need a little bit more refining. So when it comes to, you know, the path of stepping outside of your comfort zone? Yes, you're right. It's good. It might look different for everyone. But I think the first step in for so many things is having the awareness and and really stepping outside of this autopilot mode. Because when we look at our lives so much is run on autopilot. So if you just bring more awareness into your existence into the way that you do things into the way that you pour your coffee into the way that like what do you think about when you drink your first glass of water? Like bringing awareness into your life so that you can really notice what you're feeling and what you're missing, right? Because we're all very much different for some people, they love to be, you know, they might have never left their city or their state or their country, and they are very much happy and thriving in that there is no right or wrong way. You know, in my personal story, I am an avid traveller, I've been to over 70 countries, and I've always strived for that. So we can't compare our stories as like, you know, they're right or I'm wrong or vice versa. Instead, it's like having the awareness to know, what do you feel? What do you want not because, you know, your your parents said not because, you know, your friend's parents think that you know, you're weird or crazy, but like, what do you want? And I'll just share, if you don't mind, like a little bit of my story to kind of reiterate that. But like I said, I've always had this like travelling wandering heart and I'm a double Sagittarius, so it is a
Sagittarius. I love that so much fire. Yes,
yes. So it is in the stars for me. And I remember, like I said, I grew up in a small town, and I did all the all the things that you know, people do, I got great grades, I went to college, I was on, you know, the dance team, all these different things. And then, you know, I got a good degree, I graduated with honours, like all the things and as I, you know, finished college, and I sat down and was thinking about, like, Okay, it's time to start applying for jobs. I was like, this isn't for me. Like, it sounds great. You know, all my friends were excited, and, you know, stepping into their careers and finding their forever homes. And for me, that was giving me so much contraction, like, no, no, no, right? And so I was like, Okay, how can I be paid to travel, like, I just got out of college, I was an all this that I couldn't just pick up and go. And that's where I found five minute position, and I became a flight attendant. And, you know, for many that seemed like such a contrary, step back, like, here I am with a college degree, you know, great grades, I have this, like, you know, people like to say the whole future in front of you. Right, like, all these opportunities, and here I am moving across the world to become a flight attendant, right? And for many that seemed like, she, what is she doing? Right? Like, she's gonna ruin her future and, and all of these things, right? Because once I, once I finished my career as a flight attendant, all my now classmates were really ahead in their careers, right? Like, they weren't at that beginning level. But that's where that awareness came in of. But what's right for me, it would have been so easy to cave, and to just be like, You know what, everyone else is doing it. So I guess I'll just make peace with it right of like, I let me also find my forever home, and let me you know, go into this career that I don't necessarily want. And instead, like having that courageousness, to just even own up to what you're feeling. Maybe you don't take the steps right away. But let's at least get clear and, and have the audacity to meet yourself in grace, not from a place of judgement, but really from a place of opportunity and grace of this is who I am. And this is what my heart is asking for. And I think that's that first step. And then from there, it's like, slowly strengthening the muscle to start to follow those steps in, you know, whatever way that that really feels safe in your body.
I love that opportunity. And Grace, I think that's such a beautiful way to kind of describe that, that whole path. And what I'm hearing in that is the importance to go to your own guidance. First, to trust your own guidance first to lead you on this journey.
Yeah, oh my gosh, so much. So like, you know, I talk about intuition a lot, actually. And for many that kind of seems like this, like, oh, you know, we, we kind of overlook that. And, and the truth is, like, her intuition, it's almost like connecting us to the unknown, right? Like our mind works in limited capacity, because it really functions on what it knows. The mind knows that, you know, this is where the grocery store is. So if I think about going to the grocery store, it's my mind is going to drive me there. But if I connect to my intuition and says maybe a silly example, but if I connect to my intuition, it's really opening up the universe. It's saying like, Hey, open the door, I can't tell you what's on the other side. But if you open it, it's gonna be magic. And it's like, how can we trust that and and yes, like, really, you know, if we even think about I like to decode the way that we function. And if we think about why do we lack so much self trust, it really comes back down to once again, we've never been taught from the very, very beginning when something is wrong with us. We how, you know, we go outside of ourselves to seek the answers, right? Like, what if we learned instead to kind of to name and and notice, so much of the time when I had got a headache? If I just pause, and I, like, even sometimes close my eyes and think back to okay, why, you know, it's maybe dehydration, maybe, you know, I stayed up too late, right like there, I know the answer, if I just let myself have it and trust it. So once again, like really learning to come back to our own essence or our answers, because that is something that we've been missing. We've never been taught like, hey, what do you feel? What do you think like, what is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your room saying what you know, it's been like, Hey, let's go somewhere. So you can find the answers from somebody else. And that is where a lot of that self like lack of self trust stems from.
I totally agree with you on that, especially in our industry, there's lots of voices out there. And in any industry, there's lots of voices out there. So learning to cultivate first, that self trust can help you navigate this path and in such a clear way, and I was wondering your perspective, on the concept of that? How are we differentiating between what is our intuition? And what is the voice of the parts of us who have experienced trauma? The parts of us who have gone through challenges in difficult times? How are we differentiating between? Who's guiding us in those moments?
Yeah, oh, that's such a potent question. Absolutely. Because trauma and, you know, stress, and it all lives in the body. So sometimes, you know, there is the saying of like, the body always knows, and I do a lot of somatic experiencing, and, and somatic base work. So I, there's a big part of me that really trusts in that like, yes, the body, the body does know, however, sometimes the body responds from the trauma pieces, right? So like, let me just give an example. Say that, you know, as a child, you know, you were I don't want to I'm, my mind is going to like something that I don't want to go into. But yeah, let's say you had a bad experience, right? With a neighbour. And you know, now years later, now, years later, you meet someone who maybe has similarities to that neighbour, right? Like, maybe they have a similar accent, or maybe they have a share a same name, or whatever, there's similarities. So right away, your body might be like, I don't like that person. Because it's, it's affiliating it with your experience of who that person reminds you of. And this happens in so many ways that like projection, right? Like, what's coming through is his projection, a lot of times we do project, what we're feeling or what we're uncertain of onto others. So how do I differentiate between like, is it really my intuition? Or am I just, you know, projecting, or am I acting from a place of trauma is once again, to have awareness and to give yourself time, so to give yourself time to analyse, and I think that time and giving yourself space is such a crucial part to any self development work. Because if we're just going, you know, on our day, day to day activities, and things happen, and we don't give time to process, we will never know, right? It will just kind of be there, and it's gonna keep soaking into the body. So if you give yourself time to process, and analyse and refine what's happening, and maybe even do some practices, you will get to the core truth, right of like, Yeah, this is, you know, this is why this happened. And this is why that happened. And yeah, and just to go into the projection piece, a little bit of this is a little bit off female. Now, going sideways,
and take it wherever you want to take wherever it's supposed to go.
Well, yes, and that's a big, big part of, you know, self expression as well. And, and everything that we've talked about until now is we are afraid to speak in these ways, because we're projecting sometimes onto ourselves, right? I remember when I first started this journey, and I kept and I was still judging myself. Every time I would put something out there, and I do a lot of movement based work. I was actually judging myself so I was projecting others judging me. I was like, Oh, I'm sure that they're judging me right. And then I had to sit with that and come back and like, why is that my first assumption, and it was because I was still judging me. So really being aware and once again, crafting time and space to sit with your soul. You know, same thing I remember when in I've had, you know, some sexual trauma as a child and I Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's and it's once again, like, this is where we talk about vulnerability, right? Like, let what if we talked a little bit more about that so that we feel held and seen, right? And I remember when, you know, I kept seeing, you know, sensual people and people who are really, like, tapped into their sexuality. I was so triggered, and I was like, um, follow, unfollow, unfollow. And then once again, once I did that, this is like, where you kind of learned to really, like live in awareness. I sat back and I was like, Huh, I wonder why I did that. Like, let me let me get down to the answers, right. And what I realised is the triggered me because that was a part of myself that I hadn't yet explored, right? So. So this is where, you know, a lot of times we project, what actually we're feeling, it's not about that other person most of the time. So that's a really good thing to think about. And notice, and notice, if you if you have those patterns,
I think just like you said, just noticing, and then that curiosity to play within, what are those patterns actually trying to show me about what's going on within myself. And cultivating that awareness to look at them without that judgement. I think that's the thing where I say this, because this is a big part of my experience where we trip up, because we judge ourselves in those moments, when those things come to surface, they come to the surface to be seen by us. How do we practice that non judgement? For those parts of ourselves that feel like the most hardest parts not to judge?
Yeah, isn't that a great question? And it's such a good topic? Because once again, we think about, like, why do we judge them? Like, what kinds of things do we judge, and if we really decode it, it's the learns it learned experiences, you know, as kids were just so wild and free, and then we kind of learned, you know, you shouldn't be allowed. And, you know, when you're here, you should have your hair put back, right? So what kind of things that we judge in ourselves, it's the things that we've learned, are not okay, or not acceptable. And I think when we really decode that, and when we really kind of, you know, sit with that, we realise that those parts of ourselves that we judge are just human, they're very much human. You know, it's even like things like that. We think like, you know, jealousy, like, Oh, if I'm jealous, and I'm judging that or, you know, even if I have like selfish tendencies, right? So my advice is to decode the energetics of those words. For example, if you're jealous, what is like, what is the energy of jealous, it's like, I feel like I'm not seen. It's, you know, I feel like that I have to compete with maybe someone or something. So if we start to really look behind the energetics of these words, we're gonna really understand what what are we really sitting with? Like jealousy is like this kind of, like umbrella term, but underneath all that, there is so many more layers that really uncover like, what exactly is it for you? Right? And, and, and instead of judging it, like understanding it, understanding and realising it's such a normal human experience, a lot of times it comes from what we lacked, as you know, whether children or you know, as we grew up, what some of our biggest hurdles were in life. So when we understand that, and we realise that it's a human experience, and when we bring in vulnerability, and we start to open up and see that probably everyone around us experiences these different things to certain extent. There isn't anything to judge, it's really all an opportunity of Okay, now that I have this awareness now that I know, now that I own up to, you know, the things that are within me with grace, where do I go from here? And how can I now calibrate to that level of person that I want to be and then I am becoming and that I know I'm capable of being so using all of that as like portals of opportunity? Yeah.
I love and I love this. This, this concept as well of just these, these dark elements of us all, hold the seeds to the things that we really want in our life and the pain of greatest power. If we allow ourselves to just dip ourselves into like, take, dip your toes in first and then fully immerse yourself in it and then through that process, accepting yourself loving yourself, and then moving into these parts where you can begin to express yourself in such new and creative ways because there's no longer this kind of attachment. to I have to be this way, because if I'm not that way, then I'll be judged for being different. What do you think in terms of when this when it starts to happen when we want to start to express ourselves more? And I feel like expression is quite multi dimensional. There's so many different aspects and parts of us, right that want to come out. How can we express ourselves not only in a safe way, but also in a way that so we're not keeping attaching our identity to these expressions? Right? Because we're still that person who's observing ourselves expressing? How do you feel like we can sharp that without that attachment to those expressions? If that makes sense? Yeah,
that does that does make a lot of sense. And oh, yeah, that's, that's a good, good question. That's going to probably lead off until a little conversations. Yeah. If I get off track,
you know, you're just bring me there's no such thing as off track. It goes where it's supposed to.
Yeah, but this is such a good question. And what I want, what's coming through, what I want to open up with is, you know, the level of like, when I first experienced like, freedom, it was when I moved. So I moved to Dubai, and I lived there for four years. And that was right after college. And I remember getting there and just feeling like, oh my gosh, like I can be whoever I want. Like, nobody here knows my story. I can just like literally craft my identity, I can just show up as I want to be. And the The truth is, a lot of times this when what holds us back from like, accessing our expression, is because we are afraid of changing, we're afraid of letting go of what others think of us. So for example, if someone has thought, you know, while Nicolina is a little shy, and all of a sudden, I'm like, Well, I don't want to be shy anymore, right? I'm attached to not what I feel and what I believe in what I want, I'm attached to what others think of me, right? Like, there is that identity there that has been crafted by, you know, whoever, and I willingly stepped into it. And now not that I want to change it, or I want to amplify it or whatever. It's scary, because it's like, I'm attached to that. And that's why a lot of times, you know, when people do change, their friends are like, Oh, well, you've changed. And you and I've done this, and I almost tried to fight to be like, No, I haven't. Right? So there's like this fear of losing that part of identity. Because it's like, if I don't have that, then what do I have? So letting go, when you're when we live in awareness, it's not necessarily of continuous, like, you know, I can't do this, or it doesn't necessarily mean as attachment. It just means like noticing noticing the process being connected to your body, like for example, you know, let's say you're in a situation and you start to really shallow breathe, that is feedback, right? Like, why? What is that, and not necessarily like attaching to it, but just receiving this feedback? Okay, there's parts of, you know, this situation that still trigger me, they still trigger a certain response. And, you know, and this is how my freedom story had had began, like I said, firstly, experiencing freedom in Dubai. And I noticed when I would travel, every time I went to a new country, I was like, freedom. And then when I realised when I came back into, you know, the places that people knew me in the hometowns, where I grew up in, I would contract back into the version of me that I was, and that's where I realised that, you know, freedom can oftentimes become circumstantial. And for me, that's what it was, right? Like, it was very much circumstantial of, I feel free when I go to a new place, and no one knew me. But then when I came back, I kind of like, contracted because I there was like this judgement and this fear, and how do I show up in these new ways now, in this space that I haven't let myself go to before. So this has been the biggest part of my work. And the biggest part of what I guide others through is like, how can we experience freedom that isn't circumstantial? Right? And that, once again, really comes from knowing who you are, and and feeling yourself so deeply. And this takes a lot of practice and a lot of time to really just be like, You know what, this is who I am, and we're so afraid of being judged. And the truth is that people are gonna judge us no matter what, you know, they're even if there's no single person that someone doesn't like, like, no guru, no teacher, no, you know, there's always someone that's going to say something about them that you know, in a negative way, and one of the biggest teachers for me was to ask myself Nicolina when you're on your deathbed, and you're looking back on your life, who Would you have rather been? What decisions? Would you have regretted more? Like, in which ways will you be proud of showing up. And so when we talk about, you know, like stepping outside of that circumstantial freedom, it really comes down to that, like, it's gonna be scary at first, but it's gonna be so worth it. And, you know, so much of the time, I think, also realising that we live for the people that we first of all, wouldn't trade places with. And the people that oftentimes don't, we don't necessarily have a deep connection to. So we let you know, certain people inhibit our expression and our freedom and in feeling so alive. And instead, if we let ourselves have that, we activate all the other people, too. You know, one of the examples that's coming through is like, and I've given this before, but it's like, I remember when skinny jeans started to become popular. And not everyone wears the new trend right away. Right? Like it's, it's the brave few people who are willing to show up, and then slowly, slowly trickles. And now all of a sudden, everybody's wearing skinny jeans. But let's talk about what if that was the case was self expression, the case with your freedom, the case with vulnerability, with your confidence with your like just being outspoken, it will start to trickle. So when we really like look at this from a zoomed out lens and detach from, from what we're feeling and what we're afraid of, but look at it from a big picture. It really shines light on like, Okay, I'm going to do this.
How empowering is that? Huh? How empowering is that? Because you're looking at yourself and what I'm hearing and that is the importance of first, really internally feeling all of the experience that you want to experience in the physical and the outside world, generating them within yourself first, and then obviously allowing that to just naturally flow into your reality.
Mm hmm. Yeah. And the truth is, we all want that, right? Like, we all want to be expressed and free, because the thing is, when we might not notice that because we're, we've become experts at numbing, right? So not the numbing sensation has become normal for for so many of us, right? So we don't necessarily notice that that's a part of the way that we show up. And once again, this is where, you know, without attachment, you just, like, start to notice. And even like little things we numb with like being distracted, non stop, I live in the US. So there's this like very much, you know, culture of Go, go, go, go, go. But when we're in that mentality, you're always distracted, right? Like, you're in a waiting line. And instead of just like breathing and softening your shoulders, like straightening out your posture, like practising these, you know, things. Instead, it's like, well, let me you know, quickly respond to this email while I'm in the waiting line, like, let me you know, like, stop time, almost. So. And then in the reality, we all want to be confident and relaxed, and, and open. But we numb it. So Exactly. Like if you know, when you really when you're like, if you're listening, and you're like I resonate with this, and I want to be that person, like for me and my family and everyone around me. Let it start with you. And let it start with little simple things. I love simplicity. Because, you know, I studied yoga in India and my teeth, and I'm the my teacher was amazing. And there's so many teachings that still come through from him. And he said, you know, where we go wrong, is we're like, Okay, I'm gonna do it all. I'm going to start eating healthy. I'm going to start waking up early. I'm going to start running out, you know, I'm going to start reading a chapter every day and these like unrealistic goals, that we literally set ourselves up for failure, and then nothing happens. And I love to teach people and to encourage simplicity. Start with everyone goes, well, wow, maybe not so much to get groceries delivered. But you know, everyone has traffic, let's say you let's say you're in traffic, instead of you know, getting really upset and swearing and you know, showering your breathing. See that as an opportunity of, hey, I'm gifted a few minutes to really like Belly breathe. Hey, I'm giving it a few minutes to to just notice the sensations in my body, right like that is simplicity, noticing little things. What if you woke up three minutes early even so that you had time to actually notice the way that you prepare your breakfast? Right to actually do it with more intention. And when you start to incorporate simplicity, and you start to really think of all of the everything that we've talked about In this like simple way, it becomes so much easier to grasp, you will start to do it even if you just implement one thing, and it will feed into everything in your life. And then when you get really good at that one thing, you actually build a solid foundation. Now from this one thing, okay, let me add on a new thing. And, and that is, at least in my case has also been, you know, the transformation because it's easy to transform. And, you know, I live in an ashram for two months, and I didn't have a phone and I was literally just there, meditating and doing yoga. And then I came back into real life. And I really had to realise that okay, Simplicity is key. I'm not going to spend 10 hours meditating and doing yoga, that's not possible anymore. But how can I take those teachings? At least a little bit? Like, how can I bring them into my life, so even if it means breathing for five minutes? So that is something I wanted to share? And I think I got totally off topic now.
Like I said, it's just everything that comes through is just what's supposed to lie. We're just vehicles for higher consciousness, aren't we, at the end of the day, so wherever that wants to kind of work through and I wanted to tap into something you said about simplicity. For your perception, do you? Do you feel that intentional simplicity is a key to happiness, to really having joy in our lives?
Mm hmm. I do. Absolutely. Especially because so much of the time, we are searching for something like I want to hear something that I've never heard before. I want to hear something that's gonna blow my mind. Right. And, and when we hear something, such as, like, this simple, even, you know, let's even talk about fitness. We don't have to talk about these conversations, right? But say that, you know, a trainer is like, hey, you know, fitness is 80% your diet like, eat really clean, you know, clean up this and, and our human mind is like, that seems too easy. I don't want that. Right. Like, we want these like weird, crazy things that our mind feeds into being like, this is the answer The crazier and that more out there it is like, that's the key can't be simple, right? You're reflecting back one of my biggest patterns right now. I love it. Yeah, and it's so true. And I've been there too. I've been there. Like, I just, I need more knowledge, I need more inspiration, I needed it. I need to dig deeper. And then literally, everything comes back to simplicity. And, and when we let ourselves trust in that, it's, our life becomes so much like more fulfilled, right? Like, and, and being a person and like, and I'd love to hear about your experience and where that's hearing in your life. But that's exactly where I was where I was at two instead of you know, sometimes I'll just like, I'll go for a walk. And my walk serves as you know, space for clarity, a space of, you know, cleansing all of it. And before, it was like I have to do these crazy rituals, I have to set everything yeah,
this was this was me. Yeah, I've just started to transition recently, for example, my meditation practice, which has been a huge part of self regulation and connection for myself, obviously, we all have our own unique things that we use, and we utilise in our day to day lives to connect to ourselves. But I used to, you know, set up the place like have the incense, have the angel cards, have the journal ready, have the table with crystals all over? Then I was saw. And I got to the point and I was realising how I was controlling the magic that wanted to flow through me. And what you're saying there is beautiful and what you're saying there is just when I removed all of that, and I just sat on my chair, and I just meditated when I rolled out of bed. Yeah, it was so much more powerful and potent, so much more. And that's not to say you can't have these things to bring you feel called to like sometimes, you might want to have a little play with your crystals or connect with your angel cards or whatever it is that you feel called to use in your practices. There might be moments of that. But it's like we kind of touched on it earlier. It's not the attachment to those things on the external it's how am I cultivating this within myself so that if all of those things dropped out of my life, if all of those things I was in a place that I could not use, then I can still trust myself. I can still lean into that power within me.
Yes. Oh, I love that and I love that you shared thank you and it's so true. And then not only that, but having those like More complex processes like if you know, and as entrepreneurs, we have a little bit more of time and freedom to craft our schedules, right. So we have that gift of perhaps, and be having more time for those kinds of rituals. But I always, you know, think about the people that maybe work from, I don't know, eight to five, right? So if you believe that your meditation practice has to be so complex with all of these things, and it has to be hours long, and it has to, you're never going to actually do it. Right. So if, what if instead, your meditation practice was literally starting with five minutes of just stillness, and I don't know, for you, but for me, a lot of times, the the complexity was a distraction. I would also, you know, like, get all the things and then I instead of just like, doing the work, I kept getting deeper distracted, I love to read I love books. So I love to open like certain books and like read a little bit. And sometimes that becomes a distraction of, do I just need more, I need more. And I never actually just sit down distraction free to do the work. So noticing where you're distracting yourself from the, from the bigger picture of what you're doing.
What part of stay you think within us wants to distract itself from doing the work. Yeah,
I love I love your follow up questions. Because the distraction most of the time comes from from like, avoidance, right? Like, we want to avoid something. We and also because we have been like, once again, I don't want to say like trained but we've we've learned to consistently go go go go. We we like we almost we know how to function on distraction. So when we don't have distraction, we almost feel like what now because when we function in distraction, we are so disconnected from what we're what's happening. But when we remove the distractions, and we just like sit here, we're literally sitting with everything, our magic and our shadow, and what what we want and what we don't have, and it's like all of it there. So I believe that, you know, the part of us that wants to secretly like distract is the part that is either running from something is that ready to sit with the truth is still trying to numb or just hasn't really practised being in the state. Because you know, same thing, like, it just can go so many ways, but, but it when you first remove distractions, if you're someone that's been distracted, and your body and your soul and your mind, even the majority of your life, when you remove that you're gonna feel lost. So you almost feel like something is wrong. Right? It's kind of like that, what's the word I'm looking for? But you know, like, when you stop drinking caffeine, like withdrawal. I was right. Yes. Yes. So once again, like had you be brave and courageous enough to meet yourself in grace, so no judgement. You know, I always I like to use the caffeine example because I am. My culture is half Serbian, half Croatian, and we have a huge coffee culture, like coffee is a part of life. So I adore coffee. And and this is where, you know, so many times, it's like, oh, I should give it happen.
parties should again.
Yeah, yes. And this is where I get to meet myself in grace and be like, You know what, this is something that I love. This is something that brings me back to my like, I feel like you know, connected and it's a part of my day, and it's a ritual, but meeting myself in grace in that right. And that's where when you have those withdrawals, when you removing the distractions, you can really like, okay, let's not judge, let's meet yourself in grace. And then from here, there's opportunity, right? So now I have a beautiful ritual around my coffee, I drink a cup a day, I don't drink, you know, seven. So, and that's like, the spaces of opportunity of okay, how can I make this work for me, right, so. And yeah, and then it comes down to balance as well.
I got distracted at the end of that thinking of a double Sagittarius on seven cups of coffee. Oh, whoa, like that would be the intensity of that power coming through would be pretty insane. I kind of want to tap into that distraction thing in a little bit of a different direction. Because I feel like it would be really beneficial for some people to hear into and for ourselves to kind of jump into a little bit as well around how, how prominent This is in self pleasure. And in connecting people through sex through through orgasm, how easy it is to distract ourselves in those moments, especially if we're someone who's experienced sexual trauma or someone who has an sexual trauma does not have to be just this big event that we might associate directly with sexual trauma. It can just mean you slept with a partner and they weren't being attentive to your So sexual trauma. So what do we what do we do in those cases where we feel that distraction coming on in those moments where we're in that self pleasure or connected with a partner?
Yeah, and I'm gonna give you a simple answer that once again, coming back to I know, many people will be like, that won't work, right. And it really comes to your breath. And, and, and I know, because I've been through these stages myself, right. And, and, and feeling first, like, oh, I need something more intense, I need something more complex, my breath won't help me. And the truth is, the breath is, is what dictates, like the way that you live, right? So if we're in those moments, and we're starting to get distracted, and you're right, like there's so many distractions happening in those in that circumstance and that situation, and a lot of it also comes down to, like the way that we look. Right? Especially for women and women, identifying beings. It really comes down to, you know, are they liking the way I look? am I sounding the right way? Like, there's so many little like, nuances that we try to mirror, and we tried to mirror that, from what we've seen, what we've heard, what we think, you know, sexy or desirable is
out us looks like sex. Yeah, exactly.
And all of that, really what it's all doing, it's distracting us from our wildness, like, at the core of our being, we are wild animals, right? Like, we are wild, we know what we want, we, our body guides the whole experience. And when we are distracted by all these things, we really, we let go of the wildness and we come back into this like, numb, like, kind of, what's the word I'm looking for? Crafted experience. So in the moment, if it's happening for you, in the moment, you're not going to be like, oh, hold i Well, you can but like, you know, you're not going to go and sit in meditation, right or do a process, a moment, your breath is your biggest guide. And and really just like sinking in and noticing, maybe even start to like, gently count your breath, maybe you just feel your belly gently expand. And then with that breath, you might like, guide your body into a relaxation, right, with every exhale, you start to, okay, like, let me like sinking and let me relax my shoulders, right. So like using your breath in the moment. And then if you notice, if you're someone that this has happened too many times, or it's a pattern that happens, this is where work has to happen outside of that situation. And that is where you know, you're going to have to or have to, but I invite you to really, like access this piece. And like mirror work is a great, great tool to really see your body as a teammate. And to and to reconnect to your body in a way of we're in this together. So many of us, right we see our body as an opponent, like you, you know, your your bellies too soft, or I don't know, like your breasts are too large or too small, or whatever it might be. And it's like, we try to, we see it as an opponent that we're like, kind of fighting against, and what if instead, we started to work on seeing our body as our teammate, and seeing our body as as this beautiful like, almost like a partner that we get to connect with. And when we start to do that work outside of, you know, intimate experiences that will slowly translate as someone that has had, like I said, confidence issues my whole life, in every single situation. I've been through so many of these situations, like with my own self, with friends, with family, with partners with strangers, right, and it didn't start to translate until I really just started to sit with who I was and get comfortable in my body and know that even right now, you know, and like many people probably you know, through the pandemic, their body has shaped like shifted and and maybe shaped and maybe there's extra curves, or whatever it might be, but how can we see that as still this beautiful body that allows us to feel pleasure and allows us to walk in taste and touch and and that translates later into everything. So the work I really feel like is is outside of those moments and that's like sitting with you and getting comfortable with your body and maybe even experiencing like some non sexual self touch right So oftentimes, like you might even see me doing in this conversation like oftentimes I'll put my my hands on my my chest like my belly just like is like mine and RIA knowledge right like I'm here for you, I hear you like, and this exact is such a good tool as well, when you are in moments like this number. Yeah, to be like, yep. Okay, I see you, you're afraid, don't worry, we got this. So there, once again, these simple simple things, but the work is going to take time, right to really tap into your confidence and unlock this like, level of self assurance, not from a place of ego, but from a place of this is who I am. And I stand rooted in that.
Oh, that was so powerful. And just, it's that patience, isn't it is that patience to let yourself naturally unfold, there's no force that is needed. And when force is applied, it doesn't come out in a way that it's supposed to. And that's when we start to feel this resistance and this disassociation with the self that's showing up through us. And but when we're connecting, we're slowing it allowing it to happen naturally, we do it in a much more connected and grounded way as well. Yeah,
yes, yes. Yes. I love I love that. And if we just think about Imagine if we just let things happen naturally, all the time, like if the bodies lead the way, the bodies know what to do, the bodies know how to breathe, the bodies know, you know, how to experience pleasure, they know, like how to let sounds out, right? So if we just really tap back into that a little bit and let go of this like perceived notion of, of what it's meant to sound like, and we really start to decode. And I use that word so often today, but it's really coming like through so potently in the sense of that word. Yeah, like if we think about where do we learn our perceptions of what you know, sex or intimacy should look like? And if we then step back and examine that situation, that situation was so what's it like? Orchester, right? It's fake. So what if instead of holding on to that, we really came back to our bodies of like, what's natural for me, and in operating from there. And that's where magic really is. Because when you let yourself operate from your truth, and what's really, there, that's where you're going to experience the most levels of like, lifeforce. And also the most, we talk about pain here as well, like, you're going to experience pain more deeply, because you're letting go of the numbing. So you're going to experience the low lows, but also the highest of highs, and then you're getting away from this kind of mediocre line, and you're living more like, up here. And that also means down to.
And I think like that pain just shows us how alive we are. So isn't that just an incredible opportunity to be with that and find the blessings and the learnings that it has to teach us through the permission that we give ourselves to move through it and actually feel what comes up? Mm hmm.
Yeah, as you were saying that it reminded me once again, Krishna is my was my yoga teacher. And he would always say how, yes, like, we are so coded for pleasure all the time. Like we strive for pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with pleasure. I'm all about it like, Heck, yes. Right, like, but at the same time, sometimes what we can trick ourselves into, this is where I like really having discernment. And everything is so important, because we can sometimes trick ourselves into not processing our pain, because we are addicted to pleasure. So absolutely, like pain is a portal as well. And all emotions are a part of the human experience. And they're only I feel like emotions are only bad when we don't give them the space to transmute into what they should be. Right? Like if we if we have anger or sadness, and we don't actually give it time to process if we don't actually, you know, let that transmute into potency. That's when that anger and sadness goes into something deeper. That's when, you know, Anger can become violent, right. But at the original onset, like it's just communicating its feedback to what's like, what's, you know, what's arousing you? What, what you're passionate about, like what's, like worthy annoyances, right? So if we just welcomed our emotions, instead of trying to suppress them, we could transmute them, like, you know, like, like that. The suppressing is where we get into trouble.
And that's where that suffering of prolonged pain ends up happening for us because we're, we're stuck in it because we're not allowing it to move through. It wants to move through it needs to move through energy that's asking to be felt and to be to be released through our system and to be seen as well. And this has been such a potent conversation like such a potent conversation and I just, I really connected in and really just want to honour the wisdom that you shared in that because I feel like It's something that is opening up right now this really this importance to be vulnerable and to be seen in our pain and pleasure at the same time. And to express not from a place of ego, but to express from a place of just being who we are, and owning who we are. What does that look like for you right now in your life?
Yeah, that's, you know, such a, it's such a good question. And for me, it looks like really going into the next level. So like I said, the embodiment journey, such a, it's such a cycle. And this was so transparent for me last year, I go back to my home country, usually every summer. And I went there last year with like this feeling of I'm so embodied like, all the big, and then I got there. And I was like, Oh, I froze, because all of a sudden, it was like, how do I communicate what I do and what I stand for? In this, it is my you know, it is my native language. But at the same time, it's like, when these words don't necessarily exist in the context of this language, if that makes sense. Yeah. So So I froze, and I just kind of fell back into the patterning of like, like I said, fitting in, right. So for me, and once again, and this is where, you know, this is a my own example of where we get to meet ourselves in grace and s feedback. So there was a part of me right away that's like, oh, my gosh, I am I a hypocrite? How can I be leading people and helping them when this was happening to me, right, because there were so fast to judge that. And instead, I was like, Nope, this is beautiful feedback. Where am I not where we're still do I lack a little bit of, of the certainty, and, and having that understanding, I was like, Okay, this gives me feedback into what probably my clients other people experienced, too. So my next level of my next dimension is to, I'm going again this summer. And it's to really, like, train my nervous system and to really feel peace, even if I don't necessarily know how to understand it. Right? Because a lot of times, it's like, when we don't have the words to explain, we start to get like, fumbled Right. And, and that happens to me too. And in a small town where I currently live, there isn't very many people that are doing this work. So explaining that you'd really fumble me sometimes, when I'm like Matt, with a lot of resistance, right? So my next level is really like, being okay, even when things when you can't explain them. And when there is this fumbling, is a lack of of words. But how can I still trust because as human beings we want to we want we always want to trust in like the physical, right? So it's like, How can I trust even deeper into the essence of this, even though I might not always have the words to explain it? Right?
I can listen back to this podcast. And he definitely had all of the words coming through up there. So thank you so much for sharing that was super powerful. So where can people find you if they're wanting to connect with you if they're wanting to reach out? And is there anything that you would like to to leave us with as we wrap up today? Hmm,
that's a that's a very open question. I think that I guess that'll Well, I will share where you can find me first. So I invite you to say hi, if you're listening to this, and this resonated, and this is where once again, like you get to share and practice that vulnerability. Even if you've been listening to ms podcast for a while, right? Like sharing, like, Hey, I love this like, but going deeper, right? So connect, you can find me on Instagram is the best place to like start a conversation. My handle is Nikolina at six. So my first last thing,
I'll be in the show notes, I people are going to find that perfect.
I have a website, it's just thinking my ads like that calm and I have a Facebook group where we go into a little bit more intimate conversations. And that's called embodied essence. So you can find all of those, all of those places reach out. And something that I'll leave you with is like if what's coming through and it's once again, just tying everything back in and like your freedom and embodiment and self expression is, you know, you are coded so uniquely I know that you know these sometimes these conversations can sound like something so out there, right? Oh, yeah. You know, and for someone that's like, maybe not in this space that maybe doesn't follow astrology or you know, all of these things. It might sound like, Oh, it's just a bunch of, you know, whatever we were. Yeah, exactly. But when we really realise that when we once again, sit back and look at the complexity of life, look at the complexity of nature, look at the complexity, but yet like it's complex and yet streamlined so beautifully. You know, air and energy and you know, Physics, right? Like, that is so magical and your like conception and your birth. And all of that is nothing short of that. And I think when we really just let ourselves like immersed in that, that's where you really get to feel like, you know what, this is just this is who I am. And this like beating pulse and this beating heart, there, there is something here and it's unique and there was so much at play and so many forces, right at play went to bring you here, and it's like, you know, it whatever, whatever your faith is, whatever you believe in, and whatever your form of, you know, the god figure is, it's like when we really live in this capacity, it's almost like saying like, thank you right, like it's it's doing it for in this like deep reverence for for this life. And that's what I would love to leave you with, as like this like big permission slip and more so than not a permission slip. Because you don't need it from me it's more of like a like a little gentle push right? To just like connect and and express from this like deep place of who you are, and just bringing it all to the table.
What a beautiful message to leave us with. Thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you, everyone for who has tuned in and got to this point in the episode because I always wanted to make it to the end. fully embodied and here to connect to us. So thank you. And thank you for coming on my love. It's been such a beautiful conversation and a pleasure having the Thank you,
Emma, you're a beautiful space holder. Your follow up questions are amazing. So I appreciate you for guiding this conversation in such a beautiful way.