2021-11-01-Thinking (1 of 5) Studying Tension

Insight Meditation Center13min

Gil Fronsdal00:02

So this is the beginning of the five day series on mindfulness of thinking. And we'll follow the pattern we followed over this last last week. So relaxation, recognition, respect the restoration, and release. So there's a tendency in meditation circles to sometimes be frustrated around our thinking, or even worse, sometimes thinking, thinking that thinking is our enemy. That is a problem to think. And if only if I didn't think then I could meditate. In mindfulness meditation, we are learning the art of bringing a clear awareness, clear attention to all aspects of our life, the inner life, the outer life, personal life, social life, and all that. But in meditation, particularly all the different parts that are become clear, in the present moment, in the present moment, in our whole, you know, psychophysical system that we are. And so one of the things that will stand out sooner or later for some of us sooner, rather than later, is how much thinking there is. Some days, there's a lot going on in life, and we have a lot of concerns, and the mind can be going, you know, really fast spinning out. Sometimes it seems like the mind has a mind of its own. We're just like churning thoughts and thoughts and thoughts, and there's no chance to stop it. And so rather than making it enemy, what we can do in mindfulness meditation, we turn our attention, to be mindful of thinking. But the art of that is to make sure that the mindfulness is not thoughtfulness. It's not thinking about thinking, some people will confuse mindfulness with thinking that we're kind of thinking what's about what's happening in the present moment. And and I'll talk a little bit more about that tomorrow. But we're not having discursive thoughts. We're not having commentary interpretations. We're not. It sounds like you're having conversation with yourself about what how you're thinking what you're thinking about. There's a kind of almost a silent awareness that we're using and mindfulness. That kind of silence that happens if you have a dirty windshield in a car, and you clean the windshield, the windshield now is clean, and it's still silent. It doesn't speak or say anything. But you see through it, you see through that silence you through that clarity, to see clearly what's on the other side. So to the minds ability to see or sense, quietly, is movement we're going and so to listen, like you're listening to your thoughts. With a quiet, you're listening with a quiet mind, even though your thinking mind is busy. Or you're feeling and some people find it very helpful with thinking to feel thinking and, and terms of relaxation, the sense physical sensations that we can feel connected to thinking can be really key. So sometimes it's difficult to see the physical connection between thinking in the muscles. And other times you can really feel it there are times when I'm particularly sensitive and quiet, that it feels like the mind is a puppeteer. And it's all the strings on the puppet kind of all these strings coming down from the thinking mind connected to all kinds of little muscles in my body. And they're all kind of like micro muscles are being pulled or tightened or released. As I think about different things. Some thoughts are really powerful resentments that may be I have at some point, and I could feel my stomach pull up, or my shoulders go up or I think about to a wonderful conversation I had with a friend recently. And something releases Neff puppeteer as the relax the muscles don't even know I was tense or holding. But in thinking about this nice conversation something Ah, that's good. And I relax. And the more relaxed we become, the more we can feel the this micro muscle string is tugging and all the muscles that go on. If we're really tense or really preoccupied in our thoughts, we can't notice our body. We haven't we won't have a clue what I'm talking about. Chronic tension, where there's no relaxation at all

Gil Fronsdal04:59

can be covered normal for people. And they just this is how it is there's if you know this is the natural way to be. And there's no movement in the chronic tension for anything to relax. As people meditate, most people find slowly that the body relaxes. Some of the surface tension that we carry with us begins to soften and relax. And the same thing with the mind that there's maybe the thinking doesn't stop. But thinking calms down, it gets slower. So that was what to emphasize again, that we're not making thinking the problem. But rather we're turning our attention. When thinking is strong. And when it kind of captivating, we calmly turn our attention to, to be mindful of thinking itself. And the whole week will be spent talking about how we can be mindful of it, and different ways. But what I want to emphasize today is Be mindful of the tensions there, the energetics of it, the distress, the forcefulness the pressure, the contraction, that tightness, the insistence, the hesitation, the closed down, pneus, the shutting down the dullness, the numbness, all these things can be associated with thinking. And in those things, need our care. If we're distracted by the content of our thoughts, and thinking the content is what's most important, we might miss the underlying kind of tension that is much closer in actually to who we really are. It's kind of like a deeper layer, that a way to doorway into the depth of who we are, is not by thinking ourselves and remembering and figuring things out their mind and, and reinterpreting the past, the way to really have a doorway into the heart into the deep inner life is this ability to relax. So when there's thinking in, we're really pulled in the world of thoughts. And one of the things that be really helpful to learn to do and it takes time is to relax the interest in thoughts to break the enchantment, with the content of the thoughts. Some of us have had similar thoughts over and over and over again for years. The amount of repetition that goes on in many people's minds is kind of astounding if people could hear any of us how often we think the same thing. They would wonder about, you know, our sanity or something. Invention, it's normal enough to be repetitive, but it's also not necessary. But what's interesting for a meditator is to recognize it. Part of the reason a lot of repetition. Part of the reason why there's often oneself is a central character centrally involved in their thoughts is that we're there's an intense interest in the content interest in self and me, myself and mine. And so that interest that investment can be felt distinct from the content of what we're thinking about. Sometimes I've had the feeling in my mind that I'm glued to my thinking, and I could feel the glue, or I could feel the bungee cord pulling me in too close by indepent, no matter what, it doesn't matter what I'm thinking about, I can feel the glue or the bungee cord or something that's there. And, and then to feel that tension. And sometimes you can relax it. But sometimes we can't relax the tension, the physical tension, the mental tension. And you can't relax it as a will as into something we do. But here's a real key to really long term mindfulness meditation to really find your way with it. And that is it really helps if you have a willingness to allow yourself to be tense. Allow yourself to feel the stress, the contraction, the pressure,

Gil Fronsdal09:32

as if it has permission to be there. It's okay. But hold it in awareness. And I have I love the image of two cupped hands that come underneath, where awareness and mindfulness is like two cupped hands that gently come along and hold the tension hold the stress, kindly supportively and learn the patience. You can do that forever because some of it Tensions that we carry within us are not really amenable to being directed or told to relax. Or do we in charged, that just one more time, sometimes more insult that we're in charge, we're going to do something to this whole wonderful system we have. But if we can come with it respect and care and kindness, and say, Okay, here I am, I'll be with you for however long it takes. And, and then, and then amazingly, things begin to shift under that kind of attention, something they need, something unexpected begins to relax, something unexpected softens. And, and our job is to bring, bring that attention, that is soft attention, that is kind and caring. And the attention that's flow, the attention that's not in a hurry or insistent the attention that's not forcing the issue or the attention, which is not tense. So relax, learn about your attention. Because become a student of your attention, maybe before you can relax, you have to really recognize and get to know it. And chances are that for most of us, there's more tension through the day than is necessary. And so to study that unnecessary tension and stress that's there, in the body, in the mind. And so in the next 24 hours, in preparation for the teachings, tomorrow, you might think of yourself more of a student of tension, than a student of relaxation, get to know it well. But if you feel like you're no wait and recognize, taking time to know it, then if it's easy to relax, please do. And, and maybe maybe this can be a fun day of studying and hanging out with tension and relaxation. And, and, and see what happens if that's the subject of the day, the theme of the day for you. And then we'll continue tomorrow. And in some ways, the series that we're doing with starting with breath and body and emotions last week, and now we're thinking each of the what preceded is building up towards our capacity to really work with thoughts to work. Mindless thinking is not meant for people who are beginners, but really have the foundation of these earlier types. And then what I'm going to talk about through the week, is also builds on what precedes proceed. So the relaxation is supports what I'm going to talk about tomorrow and so forth. So So I say all this with the idea that I'm not expecting you to be able to do all this suddenly like if you're a brand new beginner, but really it builds on the skills and understandings that have been growing by ongoing meditation practice. So hopefully that's the case and that this is supportive, and I look forward to tomorrow. Thank you

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