Men Don’t Love Women Like You Part 2 by G. L. Lambert

12:35AM Jan 7, 2021

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Keywords:

dating

women

book

man

talks

feel

sweats

spartan

walmart

person

pay

walk

cute

relationship

nice

buy

girl

approach

minutes

questions

There. Hello. Hello. How are you, I'm good, how are you doing

I'm doing great today I am doing great today, I am. I was doing some spring cleaning well my spring is not spring yet but I was doing some cleaning on my closet because I'm like, I'm gonna start date again right. I think,

you know,

I have, I have a potential, right. So, I was like, I got, I gotta get my cute clothes out right and then I started thinking I'm like, you know what, maybe I might not want to show up to fancy right because I think I've gotten really comfortable with sweats and yoga pants right. So maybe I should just, like, you know, kind of like calm it down a little bit like because he's gonna start looking at me and get used to all that fancy Dress Up, Dress up look cute look cute kills and stuff. And, you know, I'm going to tell you this pandemic this morning has made me very comfortable with the pair of sweats and sneakers. So, you know, I try a cute tracksuit, or something, and I like it, you know, so I might I might have to rethink that whole process of showing up in, you know, in my short skirts in my, in my high heels. You know,

I think that's a great segue to what we're going to be talking about which is a continuation of last week, but I will say that it isn't a T shirt no bra jeans and running shoes, that is like my staple outfit. However, being that we live in a world that we live in, I know that um you know it's all about maximizing on my femininity femininity and it gets you everything. And unfortunately, you know my staple outfit gets, you know, it doesn't have the same power that tapping into that armor is, you

know,

in the in the in the T shirt with the shoes doesn't do with the the the pumps in the in the in the sweat skirts do

know because like, you know, the armor of being a woman, it you know it's Vava'u.

Yeah, because I'm good I'm thinking like eventually, because you know here's my thing. We started dating we have representatives right. I feel like, you know, my representative shows up all the time. Right, okay. And, you know, and there will probably be a time, and in the not so distant, you know future where I'll be like, screw these heels like you know I'm saying and I don't want him to think that, like, this is how I show up in the world every day, like, you know, I'm saying like not about him it's about you right and just so and what I'm comfortable in, but I want to be cute like I have, I can tell you right now I redid my, my whole wardrobe and I have like these really cute clothes I mean, I have the clothes for your nerve like I'm just ready to just put them on. But then when I put them on and I'm like, oh yeah I look good I look hot Oh my god. I'm like, but I can't wait to get home and take the hit us I can put on my bed.

I think it's fun to be a girl with all the stories and the creativity and the and the colors and accentuating up to me it's funny that like the reaction that that dressing looking a certain way your hair your makeup know the kind of response that it elicits, you know,

just like a thumbs up just to go to at this point because you know wasn't wearing any real clothes so sometimes I just get dressed up to go to Walmart, and it's like it's your word like, yeah, you know, walking into Walmart with like, you know, a full like you know two piece with tight pants and some, some pumps everybody's

full face makeup, you know,

that's fine.

But we'll see we'll see how it works you know right now again he's potential but he may or may not make the date.

We'll see right but you know the whole like Walmart experience like I tried to like avoid going to Walmart at all costs because there's always something popping off, either in the parking lot and I was like you know why don't need this in my life, you know, the people just a lot

to take is. Have you ever seen like that Do you do the People of Walmart, what do you where they have like all the memes with all the craziness

I've seen a couple of them. And it goes down it goes down in the Walmart's. It goes down,

I really think I go to Walmart not for the, you know, rollbacks or the clearance but I think I go to Walmart just for the entertainment,

watching on YouTube, you know, thank you for

coming on board you know board in a house if I'm in a house board

works right you know, yeah.

So, so today we're going to follow up, we were doing a part two to our podcasts last week and the title is men don't like women like you. And it's the brutal truth about dating relationships and how to go from placeholder to game changer. And the book is by GL Lambert, and I want to preface by saying that this book is so entailed it's, first off, it's a little over 300 pages, and I think that this book is a course and it's something that you don't. First off, you don't read it one time and then put it on a shelf. This is a book that you must revisit, and there's so much information so many pearls, so many gems to be had and we are going to give pretty much a highlight but I think that today we're not going to be able to do it justice but we're gonna really attempt because there's just so much information and it's really exciting to revisit all of this stuff and hash it out. It is, it is.

And you know when the one thing that I do love is that he has a website for anybody you know that's looking to follow him or look him up, and I believe it's called far from basic. Because the one thing that he talks about, or at the title that he gives a lot of women who, you know, don't. Are not you know are more placeholders are not as confident is basic as so basically your, your basic you're just like, you know, just the basic woman. And so he has this cycle far from basic and he has a podcast and he also has a. He has links to all of his books because this is not his only book. This is one of his first books, and I think that he also has a blog and some other like, you know, details so you could technically use this as a course is what I'm trying to say like you could technically sit down with this. If you have, or if you struggle in the area of dating and relationships you can use these tools that he prefers to really enlighten yourself because for me it's enlightenment. It was pulling the cover off of, you know, my, my eyes and seeing what you know cuz I think when I first came out in the world of dating after divorce. I've had been married for a very long time so I wasn't aware of what dating was like you know I'm saying I wasn't aware of what people were doing. And in this you know in this century and I think reading this, you know, it made me very open and clear on you know the games that are being played out here today. Yeah, you can use this as a tool you can use this as a rep, I call it a textbook. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean you, you really can, you know, and I think one of the things that was really that I think when I was listening to him, you know his blog he had a blog. That was really good. At one point he was talking about how men were threatening him, right, that he was actually yeah that is yeah like I was reading that, yeah. Yeah, and he's yet because because of the fact that like he was divulging. The secrets. The Secret male society. Yeah. trader, like you know, and so I feel like for any man that felt was, you know, confident enough to take that backlash to educate women. And I think now he has books that actually are geared towards helping men as well but you know it's just it was, it's a great is a great reference. That's all I'm gonna say,

Yeah, yes. And there's so much that we're going to go back and forth and highlight them. One of the things I want to begin with is that he says, No man is special until he proves it. And at this point he's just a crush. And he talks about embracing your place in the center of the universe and Tiffany refers to women as Spartans, and a Spartan never has to do extra.

It doesn't end You know the one thing that I loved about that is that when you talk about being a spar and, you know, it's like, you know, you, you understand that you have power, right. So, it's like it you don't have to force it or make anybody believe that you have power, you know I'm saying exactly. Being a confident woman, and it says as he said one thing, asked not what you can do for a man. But what a man can do for you. And I think that, that right there is, you know, was for me, you know, the definition of what a Spartan is a Spartan woman is not gonna walk in and be like, Well what can I do for you, you know, we'll have read make your life better. As far as who cares as far as do not think on that low frequency they don't, you know, they don't think, you know, that they think on the, on the frequency of. I was born special. You know I'm saying, and I don't need to chase anybody. You know, it's going to come to me.

Yeah. One of the things I'm to add to what you just said is he says like let's say you give a guy your number he talks about the importance of being proactive about your dating life and looking the part. And, and not to care and how ego and pride are really weak emotions and the importance of being assertive and being proactive if you like a guy approach him, you know, and start up the conversation. And he, he, he preferences that if you approach a guy you give him your number, and you don't hear from him. Then, then so be it. You know, he didn't give himself the opportunity, but that should never be looked upon as as rejection or is is pretty much it's just, it's part of the process. And let's say you do go out with someone, for example. And, you know, for whatever reason it doesn't pan out. There's no such thing as giving the guy a second chance you know you got to block that number delete rest in peace and work. Yeah, that's how. Yeah, that's how we move forward isn't about, it's like you know, there was no chemistry and and the another thing he says is like, if you need to have chemistry with the guy don't even bother. Don't put yourself in a situation to go out with someone because what's the point.

That is so true and I, you know, and the one thing that I have to say is that approaching a man is something that I had this fear of for like a long time right but I'm going to tell you what to say. I was always taught in this is you know, again, strong black woman, raising me telling me. If a man like shoe Hill, you know he'll come for you, basically your job was to sit and wait for him to make a move. Right. And, you know, even when it came to like online dating, I was like, you know, my swipe on a guy, you know, I would only match with him if he if I'm if I knew he swiped on me. Like, it was like, I would only, you know like, you know, wait for him to start the conversation. And I was getting nowhere. I was getting nowhere I was like what's going on these guys are like they liked me, you know they liked my pictures or they wanted, you know they act like they weren't interested in me but that we just fizzled like nothing happens and I realized it's because you don't even say hello you don't say, you know, you don't you don't approach him in any way to let him know that you're interested in and I think a women feel like if they do that, then they're thirsty or desperate but it's not, it's it's really okay for you to see a nice guy in the bar walk up to him and be like, hey, yeah, Mike. And the thing is, if he doesn't. If he doesn't respond. I think the thing that we have to get over, is that rejection, right, we feel rejected right and I think that's the thing that we have to give you an understanding that everything is aligned to work the way it's going to work right. So, if that person says oh you know I'm in a relationship or Oh am I interested, that doesn't have anything personally to do with you at all. Everybody's entitled to like what they like and don't like what they don't like right yeah and so yes so like okay so they don't like you.

It's okay. Exactly. Don't overthink the process,

exactly something like Hennessy some people like emj Some people like crown, you know, is a personal preference and so if you give a person your number. And then my game I got a guy just my number at this. We went out to this restaurant. And we're dancing I mean, I mean the man could dance by any smell good and you know that just do it for me like don't smell good right and we were dancing and everything and I didn't you know he wanted to sit and talk with me buy me a drink and I didn't want any of that. I just, I handed him my business card. And he was like, Oh, that's how you're doing it I'm like well if you're interested, give me a call. I was with my girlfriend so it wasn't his time, you know, and I'm sad yeah

and he says yeah just say you know Here's my card like you know don't forget to use it. That's it. And then,

and that was it. And so like I hadn't heard from him, and a couple of days or a couple of you know about a week or so, and I didn't think anything of it I was like okay whatever that you know it was nice to meet him it was a great dance He bought me a drink, we had a good laugh and that was it. Instead of extend and then eventually he did call me but like I think women are getting that oh my goodness he didn't call, oh my goodness I liked him he gave me my his number, I gave him my number, he doesn't want me and that starts to bruise then your ego and what jail is letting you know what that support is don't deal with that in and I'm saying, Yeah, don't operate on that low frequency level, but I don't care you use the call, or you don't.

Yeah. And, and I use as you noted, you said that the guy spelled nice and that's like when one of your things but it's funny that you mentioned that because in the book he says that the average man knows that all he has to do is one look presentable to smell good. Three be mysterious for not being annoying or abrasive and let you talk, and chances are 99.9% of the time he's getting ass. Oh,

baby.

I think those stats are on point because listen, if you don't get on my nerves. Right. If your breath don't stay right. If you smell good, and you drink like a man that knows how to put clothes on that fits his body and listen. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm just gonna, I bet easy, girl.

Come on now. Like what makes you so special because in

three minutes I'm like, No, I can't pass the I do get past the initial excitement of the whole, I just I just love me.

My man's cologne then,

you know, put cologne on they covered up the fact that they didn't shower that morning but.

Okay,

put on the table, how to wash shower and put on it you know with the soap data, how to put up, they have the glistening beard and the shiny head. Listen, I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm, I'm already moist. I'm already so but again, that's the that's the initiation My God, obviously, there has to be more than that, to, to, you know, to me to continue. Yeah, like I'm not going to just be like, okay, you, you can get it. I just know that that's the initial attraction God and that that will make the heart rate, you know, move a little quick Yeah, you know, but it has, you have to have a little something more than that. I mean,

you definitely yeah like you know character and and and the thing is that he says in the book is that queens don't audition to be someone's girlfriends, they are the ones, holding the audition. He was and he also says how men fear choosing the wrong woman, just like women fear choosing the wrong guy. It says because why would a male walk around, offering filet mignon to a burrito bitch I

love that.

He said, if it's so easy for him to drain his sack just about anywhere.

And that's the truth man can see, I think women. They don't like I remember, you know, and I always say from my experiences because I know I remember talking to this guy, and we were in that game. And so we're talking and he wanted to date me and I wasn't really interested but I want me I was okay with being his friend because I like male friends because I learn things right. And so he's like you know it's so easy for men to get sex he's like I think you women underestimate how easy it is for us to get late you know say yeah, he says it really is.

Yeah, he says, yeah. He says in the book how you know when, let's say you've already agreed that you're going to be going on a date, and you know when he calls and you guys speak those conversations, need to be maintained at 30 minutes and not to exceed that he said because what happens is, one there's no mystery, and he made an example how he spoke to one chick he met on the phone for three hours, and she told him everything about. Yeah, about herself and he and he says that he knows he, she never asked his age his occupation, whether he has siblings whether where he lives nothing, and he said that all he had to do after he was on that conversation. I've been on the phone with her for three hours the following day he calls her and he says, you know, you and I have this amazing chemistry I need to see you so she eats it all up because of her ego, and she's already comfortable with the guy because she spoke to him for three hours on the phone so guess what. No, no, no, there was no no date to place but he did it though the next day after three hours, but that's the thing see now that it okay so 110 he said in this book it says a Spartan would know what to look for and see through his this hustle, but normal women tend to believe that if a man does certain things like spend time and money that he's being sincere

normal women, basic women, basic us feel, And again, I have to speak from the perspective of a reformed for have a sparring, and a prior basic a basic has feel like if a man sits on the phone with you for three hours and gives up sleep late or gives up a couple of hours of time or, you know, puts you, they feel like they're he's putting you first right, you feel special in some sort of way, or some kind of you know all you know he could be doing so much but he's sitting here listening to me for three hours know what he's doing.

countdown

is, is he's pre gaming honey, yes free gaming because now, because you're gonna feel like, oh you know he's really into me, you know, all he just gave me all of his time and attention. Really he did it, sweetie. He gave me three hours, which honestly three hours on the phone is excessive, right. 3d albums on the phone, means that he doesn't have to take you out on a day and spend time getting to know you, because you already told him everything you need to he needs to know over phone conversation so he could come stop by with a six pack of beer and and lay up with us tonight.

Yeah, and. And with that, I think it's a lot of women fall into the category of for some idea they bought into this notion of feeling unworthy because that's what I think it is when, when you're coming out of your mouth with stuff like that and and he says in the book many men will love you, but none of their love will ever match the love that you have for yourself. It says a Spartan may lose the love of another but it never breaks her, for it is her own self love that fuels and strengthens her, regardless of what man comes, or goals. A typical woman is dependent on outside love, she is only as happy as a man is currently loving her, which makes her a slave to a relationship.

And he says,

you know, the primary goal of dating is to, you know, understand the man's character, whether or not you know you guys have similar qualities, and whether or not he exhibits your emotional potential to grow with

you through deep talks. That's the thing though a lot of men. Now, are mastered dogmatist. Right. And so, basically, they play games, they can exploit manipulate the female mind, when in a relationship or trying to get into a relationship. The problem is because the mind of of a woman is her desire to be wanted her desire to be attractive her desire to be chosen is what he plays soccer. Right. And so it really is, when you think about, you know, the situation. They can basically do whatever they want to do, and women will just, you know, agree with asinine behavior. So, you know, I think about it. I mean, it really is, you know, women building relationships with, you know, a man who they know already have a woman, you know, women building relationships with men who, you know, say they're separated from their wife, you know, women building relationships with men. Yeah, who they know you know with with, I mean it's no there's no hidden fact that this person is somebody that's not faithful, or you no committed. But yeah, a few nice words, you know, a few nice compliments. A few things that they do, they might buy you a rose or buy you, you know, show up and take you out for a cup of tea or something like that, and you take that to mean that that energy and effort towards getting to know you, when it's not like you said the dating process is so you can get to know that man to find out if that man is worthy of your time.

Yeah. and he says in the book that a man's seriousness must be proved via his actions, before the dating even starts. That's how a Spartan fucking rolls, and I hold

on, guys. Listen, I'm gonna tell you right now he you know he definitely breaks down the weak mentality of women. And he said, women are taught to sacrifice. This is one of my favorites. Women are taught to sacrifice to play nice to live in an altruistic life because a good girl is always rewarded in the end. This is not a virtue, but it is propaganda. It says submission gets you a ticket to future prosperity that will never manifest. Spend a quarter of your life, even half of your life in service of others, and you will realize that you were hustled. You did not manifest your destiny by placing others first. So, basically he's letting you know, you can't put in this is what kind of when it when I analyze the whole thing. you can't put that man sneeze above yours, right. So, min max, you feel like he needs a good partner you feel like he needs somebody supportive you feel like he needs somebody that will have his back, uh, one thing that a lot of women, you know they use now this term rider die Why do I have to die Why am I right where am I, why am I the liability. Why me that has the rider die right and first of all, I'm not dying for you okay but like so weird. To play nice, you know, to have this good girl, image, you know, and we. And in doing that we forget that we're in the choosing process to forget that we're part of this. I'm also you're not just interviewing me as a potential person that you will be in a relationship with. I'm actually supposed to be interviewing and observing you, but what happens is we forget about ourselves, but yeah we play to be the perfect partner that they want to choose. but that's not what a Spartan does as far as a sport it looks and says, Yeah, you may not be good enough for me.

Exactly, yeah. And he's so he says that you know to be mindful of the fact that as women we will always be objectified, and, and, and something to consider is that he says What message does your entire outfit send to that man in terms of your confidence sexuality and style you project how you feel. He says you can have the fashion sense of Kanye West, but next to you He won't get any attention. So it's something you know it's not the dress it's the woman in that dress that makes it special so it's your you know so your appearance. You know conveys so much, and how important that is.

Your appearances and, like, you know, the thing about it is it's like you have, if you feel the unit of say, And I think the one quote that I sent last, last week was it how you feel on the inside is going to reflect on the outside and he made that statement. If I feel good about myself, when I get up in the morning, I want to present to the world, the best version of myself, right. So, when I'm wanting to present to the world the best version of myself. I'm gonna put a little bit of, you know, extra time in to make sure that you see me for how I feel, you know, but if I feel like trash on the inside. You know, I'm gonna walk out with my bonnet on, you know, walk out with my, you know, my, my pajama pants so and i i gotta tell you one time I was I don't know where it was at the warranty that's where I was and I have, I was rushing in to get some something in the dryer. My rugs or something in the dryer and some guy approached me with a bonnet, in my head my sweats on and I looked like, you know, a hot mess. And I'm thinking to myself, what type of man, I mean what type of woman do you think I am. First of all, I feel some kind of way that you're approaching me when I look like this right. But that just lets me know that men will approach you in any in any in any way to present yourself right this is true, and but the thing about it is, though, if I presented myself as the woman that just walks around with my sweats in my body and on he gonna treat me that way. Get in I'm saying all day long. Like I'm low like, low, low class, I'm gonna treat me like I'm a basic, but if I show up, and, and, and I looked apart, and I feel the part and i and i and i exude the part. He's gonna treat me like that, you know he's gonna treat me the way that I represent myself.

Yeah. Yeah, he talks about him. When you go on a date. You know, you have to, you know, the end goal is to get to know who this guy is and it's imperative to ask questions. He talks about how some women have a lot of reservation in terms of asking questions because they, again, that mindset of feeling unworthy and not good enough on some level that they feel that in asking questions that they're gonna push a guy away and then they walk away not knowing anything but it's like you have to, he gives a lot of examples in the book on like one question is he, he says his command and asked him Have you ever felt like smack in a bitch, like you know, he poses questions in such a way that one he's at ease, but you're, but you're still gaining insight or another question is,

you know,

have you ever been in a situation that are front of yours, you know, had a chick on the side and were you friends with her, so it's how you ask the questions, you know, to, to get the guy to really talk and and open up and and give you some insight in terms of exactly what it is that you're dealing with, you know, and he says, when you know when you go on a date on a first date, you know, aside from the fact beliefs of the last I met, there's no drinking because you know everything changes everything changes once we drink, but there's no kissing, he gets a hug.

And that's it. And that's it. I mean, I dated a person where I, I mean, I didn't, I probably didn't give him any lip until maybe two or three months maybe or two months into the dating process. I dated one guy who took him four months to touch a boom, right. And I'm like, you know, it is not that I'm playing games. It's just that I have to find out if you are somebody that are worthy of touching my boobs my boobs. I mean, they're real you know I pay for these but I like them, you know, and that's all that matters. And if I, if I want somebody touching them, I got to know, you know, my boobs are sensitive they want to know if this person will be around touch my boobs for longer than a year or six months or whatever, or just person you just call that everybody touched me. Oh, yeah, yeah. So let them, and you have to have respect for yourself. It does not mean that you know you have to have these rules where you know I'm not a fan of the 90 day rule. I mean, I feel like you should have sex when you feel like having sex, that's just my personal preference. But do I feel like you know you should have sex with every you know Steve Jobs and Barry, no I feel like you should get to know the person, and find out if that's somebody that you actually want to know spend more than two minutes with like, this is somebody that's not gonna annoy you is this somebody that actually is investing time and energy into getting to know you as a person. And I think that's the thing you're scared to ask questions you're scared to confront them. You're scared because you don't want them to walk away. But if they walk away. Then they weren't. Right.

Yeah, so he says a date goal, he says when you go on, you know the the end goal. When you go on a date it says don't pay for shit. And don't feel guilty about spending a man's money. He says, When a man wants a woman the effort will always come off as effortless. There is no debate about price if he takes you to a movie he pays for both tickets, if he takes you to dinner, he pays for that meal, and he had better leave a good tip says he takes you to go kart racing he buys those laughs, not because he's trying to buy pussy, or kiss at the end of the night but because he sees you as a beautiful woman and wants to express his appreciation. It may appeal to your nurturing side to help in some way to show him, you aren't a hole, or some broke chick that wants to eat on a man's dime. Stop feeling like you need to contribute

and contribute, I have to tell you right now, if I if I've been dating you for a while, like you and I have like established some sort of, you're you're my guy I'm your girl, or whatever you want. They're calling it nowadays, you're my woman I'm your I'm your woman you're my man. I may once in a blue, like for like all right you always pay Let me treat you like nickel, that's what I'll do, that's just me, that's who I am. How do you ever like those, though, when we're getting to when we're in the getting to know each other's thing. Yeah, I mean I've been places where, if I met a guy. I even bring my person. I didn't even bring my wallet in, I just came in cute.

Yeah,

well that's my car and I wasn't gonna even explain that I didn't have my wallet on my purse I'm just gonna look at him. And, and in most cases, I've already vetted the guy in like the early stages to find out if there's somebody that won't I dated one guy he didn't leave with a good tip and I was like, Okay, I'm done with you. We're done.

Yeah, and that's the mindset, he says, you don't have to prove that you're an independent woman with her own money he needs to prove that he sees a queen worth spoiling it says you can't promote yourself as a prize. Then give a man a discount set your price high on the first day, and keep it. And as you said like the whole thing. you're not bringing a purse. He says that you know when, if you find yourself in a situation that a guy asked you to pay half of the bill, he says. The question is then what to do. He says that if a man asks you to pay half the bill. He says, just take your card out and pay but be certain that as soon as you leave that restaurant. It's blocked delete rest in peace and keep it pushing.

Yeah, I cannot I saw this on social media one day, where the guy asked this girl out for brunch. Right. Is it video, and the girl. At the end of the bronski Sat, they talked whatever. And I guess they had met met on the site or whatever. And he literally went off on her because he was like, Oh, you got $20 for your.

I'm sorry for why $20 for water, right, 20 out for her friends, come on now Okay,

he's like, and so she feels like she obviously you know everything is for social media now, but she pulls out her phone and she was like excuse me say that again he was like yeah you got to give me $20 towards the bill, you know, because you ate bla bla bla bla bla. And they I mean this was like a back and forth exchange from I almost 10 minutes. And I think she ended up paying the whole bill.

Uh huh.

I mean I've heard stories where women say that, you know, the man asked her to cash app him or Venmo him for her half of the bill. Oh wow. And I, you know, I understand what Gio was saying, but I'm just not doing it. And I'm still gonna block you because it's you, if you ask me out in my, in my mindset, it's your responsibility to take care of this bill. I'm not you're not doing, I just I'm not. I just don't feel. I mean, and, you know people are like, oh you're sexist I'm like, No, I'm not. I just don't feel like if you asked me out on a date, you should be prepared. You know I'm saying, for whatever,

for whatever that entails dating.

Yeah, and I want I may want a piece and I want a dessert, like,

Yeah, but you know what like for a number of years now I've seen that a lot on TV that the whole debate as to who should pay or whether you should offer like I've always been up before this book I've always been of the opinion. Listen, like you're taking me out. Okay, like, I'm granting you I care how anybody sees it, I'm granting you the ability

to get.

Yes, that's it. Take it. Leave it. That's it. And and but and I've had arguments with women who feel like well, well what about I don't care what your situation is, then you should know what it is beforehand. If you can't stop to the play keep it pushing. I mean, I've asked from a young girl. And so people say well you know you're so hard it's not, it's not a question of being hard, but if I'm a man, and I'm, you know, and I want to take out a woman, then it's not any different, you know, and if you got to come up with like you got to pay them, you really, this is not the kind of caliber of woman that it's on your level then