Hi, how are you? Oh, okay. You know, I think what happened to you is what happens to I mean, what happened to me is what happens to my clients sometimes when you accept the when I, when they have accepted the invite. If this appears, the email disappears. So it does make it onto the calendar, which I forgot to just go to the calendar because Donal was the one making the Zoom appointment. That one before Yeah.
I think I just got nervous. I didn't want to screw it up. But but the email wasn't there. So my clients have said that to me, and I'm like, that's weird. So I wonder if that happened to anyone else on the in the group. I'll be curious.
Well, I just after you after I sent you the link, I sent the link to everybody. Just
I thought that that was probably a good idea.
I'll try to make
I'm going to be learning a lot on this one. So I appreciate everybody's patience. Right, guinea pig. It's all good.
Quick question. Do we have dates already for the other two? sessions that we talked about that today?
Okay, you know, you said June and July are difficult scheduling for you. Is there particular times that are worse than others?
Well, prior to the 17th is better. And then end of July is better because traveling a little bit. Yeah, but
But I I can I'll just make it work if everyone else is on board, and I'm the outstanding one. You know what I mean? We'll figure it out.
OK. Hey Lisa!
Hello. How's it going? Good. How are you doing? Not too bad. I'm actually just gonna close my windows. It's super long.
It's totally fine. I'm gonna finish my cookies. Well, we're waiting. So
how are you teaching right now? Any of the AP classes?
Yep. My group just finished growth is about to go into core.
So that's awesome.
I know, nostalgia, right, like, Oh, back when I was a emerging coach.
No, I just I missed the community aspect of it.
You know what I mean? And although we do get together once a month, we've been getting together. That's also nice. Yeah, yeah, it is. And I, you know, I, Samantha and I get together and Denise and I are in touch still and Renee. But
but it, it would be nice to see the entire group. So
I figured this would be like mini reunion time. Hi, Sam. Hi. So Denise is here today. Oh, yeah. And John, I haven't heard from he wanted to be in it. But I haven't heard from him. So we're gonna give it a couple of minutes. Do you want everybody to be here about Sam was Melissa just telling me that y'all meet about once a month. Like together? How was Renee I've seen Denise but I haven't seen Renee. Good. Go.
Well, actually, I think she was just stick for a little bit but in general, I think she's okay. I haven't actually spoken to her in one on one in over a month. So I don't know.
Okay, the cookies are finished. Live convenient again. I just sent I think probably you got it but like 40 minutes ago, I sent an email with a couple of links. Lisa, you probably already have the links from our mentoring. So
no bags? Yeah, I just thought so. I printed it.
Thank you for putting up with my last minute. Goodness. ADHD, right.
Oh, here's the nice.
There's Denise. So we're just waiting for both and you'll have to please excuse me because my I have to take my booster at around 130 So I will be sneaking a pill in my mouth. otherwise might not go well by three. Denise Hi. We're just waiting And Bev, maybe John, but I haven't heard from him. So if Ben gets here, we're just gonna start off,
I first joined on my calendar showed the Google meet meet up thing. I remember that one. And then
it was, let me go pop over there and see if she's there.
Okay. And then I last fall below that it was
Sam, I've discovered this interesting thing with Outlook, that if you check the email and you say, yes, you're attending, it disappears from your email and goes into your calendar. That's what Melissa was just saying,
I can't find that email. That's what happened to me. And I forgot to look on the calendar. I just don't know why I didn't. But
I have to use Outlook for a few of the different like gigs that I have there. Organizations use Outlook, and I hate it. I just need it. I can't maneuver. I can't find what I need. It's just like, give me my Gmail back.
Right? And so and going back and forth between the two, oh, that's the worst is like, ah, because then my Calendly doesn't go to my Outlook calendar. So I still have to then manually put it into my Google calendar. So that Calendly will know that I'm occupied during that time.
Yeah, I have to do that too, with my calendar system. And it's infuriating. Like, how have they not connected these?
I suppose if I paid for Calendly, instead of just using the free version, then I can tell him to check all my calendars.
Just even though there was a free version?
Oh, yeah, I use, I'm still using the free version. I figure I got this very good tip from somebody, which was from somebody who knows how to do micro businessing. That was like, use the free versions until you absolutely are totally annoyed that you can't put up with them anymore. And then go to the next highest and so on. The congest just
had to start paying for my zoom this week, which was a big and unpleasant step for me.
I got it. Yeah. It's like, Oh, really.
Doesn't feel nice.
I got it a couple of months ago, I've got the paid version, knowing that I was going to have this coming up. But until then I haven't had to do it yet.
So Lisa, do you do some group coaching?
I don't. But I mostly coach high school students. And I keep running into this problem where their parents will decide to join the meeting unexpectedly, which they're supposed to do. Because there have been three people in the meeting, then it will cut us off at 40 minutes that would keep happening or you know, they would join on their phone. And I would say well, please switch to your laptop. And not worry. Yeah,
yep, I've had that happen when the client has switched from one thing to another. And all of a sudden, we only have 40 minutes. Yeah,
I just I had a week where it happened with I think every client that I saw, and so I just said I can't do this anymore. It felt unprofessional. And it's also just annoying to have to stop mid session and restart the call. So yes,
the parents are coming in unexpectedly like I had, okay. Because usually
at the beginning when I would start working with someone new, and a parent would join and say, Oh, I just wanted to see how it goes. And I would have to say you can talk about it with your child after. But
yeah, that's from the three year olds in my used to teach to dance, like parents were allowed to come in once a month for five minutes at the end. Otherwise, it was a disaster. Like they were all just totally nice. It doesn't change for teenagers or whatever. So okay, so I think we are all here. Hi, bad faces thanks to almost see you not quite yet. So I think we're going to be five like I was telling some people earlier, John was supposed to be in our group, but I haven't heard from him. Since he said, you know, said the thing about the Doodle poll, so we're just gonna go. Um, so Melissa, Denise, Bev and Sam, were all in the same cohort. So but they are incredibly welcoming and kind, particularly from that cohort. So I know that they will make Lisa feel really secure and welcome and just like, pleased to be here.
And I realized I was joining a classroom and but it seems like
I you know, I said, I invited you into this when partly because like, just because temperament wise, I think that we're kind of all in the same like y'all already kind of in the same bracket. So I think that that might go well. Okay, so let's start with check ins, like we do. At least when I teach class and these guys did it a few times. I like to just say how are you to start the day so We all kind of know where we're at and where we're coming in with. I am
good. I'm a
little overbooked right now and stressed. But I get to go to Chicago tomorrow, as long as I get packed by 3:45am. So I'm excited about that. Just have to go get there. Let's see, Denise. How are you today?
Hey, everyone, I'm so excited to be with you. How am I I'm feeling a little tired. I just came back from North Carolina last yesterday for my graduation. And then my son came in very, very, very late last night from university and he's sent our home for the summer. Yay. So, so I'm feeling happy and tired. Because next, let's see Melissa.
I am coincidentally going to North Carolina tomorrow for my daughter's graduation. So I'm also tired because I'm missing two work days. So I fit a lot into this week. And I, my head is just sort of spinning a little bit was up from three to five last night just thinking thinking thinking. So I feel like I have that like that cloud thing in my head going on. But But I'm really happy to be here. Lisa,
I'm pretty good, I guess also tired to follow the theme. Just kind of let it personal stress in my life right now. And I'm moving like halfway across the country next month, which is exciting, but also a lot to prepare for. So just kind of balancing that with the rest of my life right now. Pretty, pretty tired today also kind of a bit a bit mentally cloudy, and maybe not fully as here as I'd like to be. But you know, still still showing up in the day. So that's, that's mostly where I'm at. But really
this is a common theme. I'm overwhelmed. chasing my tail. Literally. I feel like my cat just literally doing this. And I apologize for being late. But I just finished doing some 123 magic training and they wanted to keep talking. I'm like looking at a time I'm like, No, I need to go now. So I apologize for my tardiness,
Samantha I'm less tired today than I had been the past few days because I was dealing with either a cold or allergies or something and it rained yesterday. So all of a sudden I started feeling better. So that makes me think it was allergies. But I do sound a little deeper than the normal. Our Tulip Festival is coming up. I live in a Dutch community in northwest Iowa. And it's time for Tulip Festival where everyone will dawn their costumes and do Dutch dancing and street cleaning and parades. And it's a fun time of year, I feel much less connected to it than when my kids were in elementary school and doing all the things like riding floats and that sort of thing. But it'll be fun to experience it in a different way. And yeah, I my I have a daughter graduating from high school next week. This is her last week of school and and then a daughter who started master gardener program through the Iowa State Extension we live in Iowa and and is selling at the farmers market this year. So we have lots of new different things going on at our house.
You know, what I should have asked to is thank you everybody, what I should have asked you is like what do you do with your coaching? Coaching?
I can answer that question. So I am finishing out like I've had six clients since January. And and have recently finished up with three, two or three of them. I have two still going, one who paused for moving and will reinstate so. And it's you know, I've had varied like from 11 years old to 50 year old and and just dealing with all different things. And so I'm trying to figure out what is it that I really like? Where do I want to focus my attention? And that's where I am right now.
Anybody else? Thank you. Oh, no, I'm in I'm in the neurodiversity space I'm I've been getting more twice exceptional clients. which is really where I like to play. So that's good. I'm trying to get in front of that. Really, like varied? Do you have a niche yet, which would be very early, because like
I do, because of just my referral source. I am, I tend to do a lot of parent coaching. And, and I had done another program at the same time as our program and parenting, ADHD parenting course Cindy build rich, she has a whole program. And so I'm sort of doing I have two referral sources. One is a therapeutic practice where I've been getting referrals, referrals for adults, but that's just very recent. The other is a very large pediatric practice where That's where I'm getting these, these referrals, which is why I am doing this, but I, I'm also having a lot of overwhelm. Because I feel like the parent coaching is really kind of confusing for me, because it's actually consulting, education, and coaching. And it gets murky and confusing. And that's what I've mostly been doing. So I feel like I've lost my my core coaching skills. And it's really upsetting me and, and now these adult clients just came in. So this is like perfect time, I feel like I need to go back and read and get on the labs. And so I'm a little bit overwhelmed. And I've had, I've been very fortunate since March, I've had 15 clients. And although three of those were pro bono, from our program that getting my hours that I'm still seeing, and three clients have finished. So nice. Yeah, but Well,
right. Back to Basics, for sure. Anybody else like we said, Lisa's coaching teenagers, which is very, very, your teenagers and their parents,
I would say that I am learning that it's not my niche. Which is tricky because I got, I guess, position through a company that refers high school students, parents to knee, high school and university students, but it's mostly in high school. And, Melissa, I relate a lot to what you're saying of kind of losing the pure coaching side of it. Because with the high school students, I'm doing ADHD and academic coaching. And I find that very, very often, because so many of them are 1516 years old, they're really not at the place where they can do. The pure ADHD coaching, so much of it is just have you even started the assignment that was due last week. And then we just have to spend our sessions talking about that. So a lot of it ends up being the academic coaching. I was doing more here ADHD coaching with university students that I had gotten through this company, but they've all ended for the semester. But I just started coaching, one adult out of school, which has been very nice just to get back to that a bit. And I'm really excited to do that more often. And I just need to start working on building up that client base.
May I ask what the company is? Yeah,
so I'm in Canada, I don't know if anyone else is by it's called evoke awareness. Okay. And as far as I know, they're Canada wide, but they might expand to the states. I'm not sure if they've been getting a lot bigger in the past few years.
Okay, just because there are different ones I've come across, they come to my Facebook feed, wondering if it was one of those. All right, thank you.
And Bev Denise, I know you both have day jobs. So yeah, getting there.
So my my day job, I was working for a private psychiatry company last year, while I was doing the training, well, I sort of traverse jobs. And I was getting a lot of experience around psychiatry. And understand, you know, because I was doing a lot of the educational side of things and ADHD. But I was missing out. I felt on the coaching. So I was still getting sort of dribs and drabs of people coming in from private perspective and, like you Melissa people that I was doing pro bono work with, and then I've got offered a job working for ADHD 360 So there's still a private organization in the UK, but they've employed me as I am head of collaboration, education and empowerment as on this wait.
card right there. This business card.
Alright, I know it's gonna be this big, but it's it's as their ADHD coach. So they are pure ADHD. It's not psychiatry. It's not neurodiversity. It's pure ADHD. So what they do is they refer patients to me. And so I've been coaching from the ages of well, when, from my own perspective, in my community, I've been coaching families for years. So a lot of family coaching psychoeducation, as well. So not pure, purist sort of ICF coaching. But from this perspective with this job, it's from the ages of about seven up to 60. Odd. So it's been quite varied. But I would say again, I've been coming away from the, because they'll come to it and they'll say, Well, I want to know more about ADHD. So you do some psycho education work with them, and you talk about, so it's not like you're not drilling down to that core goal, you know. So come away from it, think they come away think, Oh, this is great. But I come away feeling a bit like, you know, yeah, yeah, that's where I'm at.
And aren't you starting a news, ADHD a specific group in your ICF chapter or something that's hearing it from some of the students in my class?
Yes. We're starting one, I think I don't know if it's going to be I think it's going to be for the whole UK because there aren't any. There isn't anything ADHD specific. So there's just a few of us at the moment. But I think there's some more that have finished doing their training with Diane, who are going to be joining as well. So yeah, that's a that's another little thing to juggle.
Yeah. Denise, where's it been coming in for you, and you're like, I know, you do mostly consulting. So how's the where's the.
So my day job is busy, but not too busy. I do corporate event planning. So I'm trying to like, meet with my team tonight. And like, I'm out of here in 2023. So please, start like, it's just busy because of the pandemic stuff. So balancing that I still have a few pro bono clients that I'm going to try to move off for the summer and then reconnect with them around the school time. And they've been great. I so it's mostly I love working with the teen young adult, it's just my, I'm so curious. And they inspire me in so many beautiful ways. So and then I'm working on a startup, that's called Life to launch is potentially the name right now. And that is around launching framework, directly focused on high school and young adults, that is created by people under 30. Humans under 30, not academic and medical. So I'm in the process of getting that off the ground and excited about that, and you guys will be some of my testing. As that comes. So anyway, so my world I think about it all the time. And Beverly is really interesting. It's just like, how can you just do ADHD, right? Like, it touches so many things? I you know, it just there's a blend of everything. So it's really hard to think that. And yeah, my teens, one was just like, how do I get up early to start my new job? And we were just spending, but I was able to kind of, you know, it's an experiment, and what would that look like I still tried to, but there was some type of just helping her get structure. And then talking and doing a bit of coaching, it's, um, it's a very interesting blend, as we're all finding, so, but I want to continue to work on coaching. As I move through my startup, it'll always be part of it. So
awesome. Awesome. So I love that we're bringing sort of similar but disparate experiences in so we'll have all these different perspectives on things. Okay, let's do a take a quick look, I just sent a thing like, you know, 35 minutes before class started. And there's two documents. There's one that's the core competencies, and we'll go over a couple of those before we start coaching today. But then there's also this ratings table, which a couple of you might have seen before. I don't know who's familiar with this releases. Okay, cool. So this is something that's hidden somewhere on the ICF. Global website. Because the ICF Global website is a dumpster fire, let's just be honest. So if you need to find anything on the ICF Global website, I suggest typing in to your Google ICF and whatever it is you're trying to find and just like let it take you there. So but I knew this existed. This is based on the old core competencies, so there's 11 of them. But all of these skills are still part of the current core competencies. They've just been sort of renamed and rolled in and made a little more you differently. But what I love about it is it has like the behaviors that demonstrate at each of the ACC PCC MCC levels. What does it look like when you are fulfilling this competency? So it's not just like the concepts. It's like, here's what we're looking for you to do. So yeah, so let's just like take a skim through got, you know, five or seven minutes, and tell me what stands out for you what jumps out as something that either don't get, or that's helpful or whatever.
I thought it was interesting and helpful that they say, What will not what is not acceptable, you know, you will not receive a passing score if I thought it was a little unclear. On the first page on your ethics and standards, where it says, For example, if a coach almost exclusively gives advice, or indicates that a particular answer chosen by the coach is what the client should do, okay, I understand that. Yes, trust and intimacy coaching presents powerful questioning, creating awareness, and client generated actions and accountability will not be present. So I think I was just unclear on the sense of oh, well, I guess the second part of the sentence is, if these things are not present, then you will not pass that competency. But the way the sentence reads, I was just confused.
It's a terrible sentence. Yeah. Basically, if you don't do the stuff that's in the rest of the competencies, you don't get a credential. That's how I read it.
Right. But if but if you do do the first thing, which is giving advice or wanting your answer chosen, then that's not going to pass. If you don't show all the other stuff, right, then it's not going to pass
Correct? Yeah, it was the correct interpretation of that terrible sentence.
All right, thank you.
But you know, the first two competencies that demonstrates ethical practice, and establishes a coaching mindset are a little hard to demonstrate. Right, in one coaching. Oh, one other thing. So I may have told somebody this, Laurie has been saying for a long time, that your sessions that you the session you send in for your recording can't be more than 20 minutes, this is incorrect. Your session needs to be at least 20 minutes, it can be up to 60 minutes, they will not listen after 60 minutes. And I have the website for this because it makes me nervous every time I say it, but it is. So that may be a point of relaxation in terms of like, you know, you can really demonstrate what you're going to do. The Times alone takes 10 minutes, right? So if you only at 20 minutes, like and wrap up. So if I might say at the beginning, just reassure you, but those first two are kind of hard to demonstrate, I think, um, what do you like? What does that look like to you when you think of demonstrating an ethical practice? Okay. When you think of establishing a coaching mindset, what are the ways that you establish a coaching mindset for yourself? was coming in as you're still in the coaching?
Oh, my favorite word. Well done. Yeah.
Space allowing, allowing the silence to be there. Yeah, be comfortable with it, which I'm not
yet yet. I do I make sure that I have at least 30 seconds. I would like to say like, I have more time, but I haven't been doing that very well for myself. I take a few deep breaths. And I asked myself a question that a professor gave me once, which is, why am I here? And for some reason, that question, just zeroes me in on purpose. And I'm serving and on being present with what the client has to do. Why am I here? It's not for me. Right? It's for my client. So I don't know. Like, there might be something like that or a ritual that would help you kind of trigger your brain into okay, we're coaching now. Let's get in that coaching mindset where we're comfortable with silence, where, you know, we stay curious, all those things. So, yeah, so maybe something to consider. Again, it won't show on your recording, except it'll show in your mindset if you are preparing that way. What else? We can talk about this another day too, because I sent it to you like, you know, an hour ago.
So, I have a question around maybe the initially establishing the rules. of engagement. Is that talking about before your overall code? Like if you're going to be coaching with them for a certain set of time? Or is that your within that time three year old your session? Or is it both?
I think it's what what do you think?
I'm guessing both. But I think starting out the whole relationship, you really need to be clear on some of that.
Yeah, I agree. I think some of it is the coaching agreement, like the actual signed coaching agreement that you have. Some of it is, you know, I get very clear and very, and a little bit vehement, in the beginning, just even at the end of a discovery call of here's what it's going to look like, you are doing the work, you know, I'm going to ask questions, I will occasionally give a suggestion or a piece of advice, but don't count on it, sort of stuff. Right. So like establishing all of those expectations, I think is part of the coaching agreement, but then also at the beginning of the session, when you say what do you want to be coached on today? Right, and you take their topic and make it what you do. And sometimes in the middle of the coaching session, you know, sometimes they find somewhere and use end up going down a different path, and you want to stop and say, okay, so originally, we were going to talk about this, and now I'm hearing this, where would you like to? Like? How would you like to proceed? Right. And so you're kind of reestablishing the agreement even as you go through? So I think it's like, you know, all the time kind of thing. Yeah. Okay. All right, well, take a look at that, when you have a chance, let's see if that's helpful. Like I said, they're not exactly one to one, but same stuff is in there, as is in the core competencies. We're going to focus, if we pull out the core competencies, now, we're gonna focus on numbers seven, and eight today. So we'll do seven and eight today, we'll do three of them next time, and we'll do three of them the last time, but the ones for today, we're gonna focus on AR evokes awareness and facilitates client growth. I feel like those kind of go together. And they're sort of the action piece of all of this relative to the other competencies, it's like, those are the two things you really need to do throughout most of the session. So where I think of the awareness is sort of like the being of it, and the, you know, conceptual, and the what are the limiting beliefs and all that kind of stuff. And the facilitating client growth is sort of the action part of it. That's my interpretation. Where do you all find yourself in that balance? Did that question makes sense? Okay, so I feel like it's always it's a balance in the, in the coaching call, like, sometimes you do more of one thing, sometimes you do more of the other thing, but sometimes when we're starting, you spend more time like you're more comfortable in one of those than the other. So I'm more comfortable with
the action. But I think that's also by the nature of the fact that these are parents coming, you know, and we're, we're really working on collaborative problem solving. So it is very action oriented. But the evoking awareness is exactly what I need the the experience with, you know, I know that I have not been doing that kind of coaching. I have a little bit with the pro bono people but but that's really the part that I know I I just weak right now.
Cool. How about some some others? relented on us?
I'm lost. So I know you're not sharing your screen. Where are you on what document
here? So I emailed right before class, right? Is it just the one that says core competencies
to creating awareness number eight in my on that one, and then?
No, it's the other document the table, it's not the table because the table has different numbering. Here we go. The list one.
Here's, here's the visual.
The updated ICF core competencies.
Okay. And then what page?
Page four of five? Thank you.
Yeah, I got stuck there too. Because I was looking at on the on the table. It's number of votes. Awareness is creating awareness is number eight.
So there were too many of the old competencies, right. Robin was just sort of like Come on y'all. Okay, so I like supervised ones? Yeah, there's that helped. Nice. Are we on? Okay? Yes. Okay. Anybody else noticed this in themselves, which, where they lean?
It depends on who my client is actually. Big because partly, some are into a becoming aware, AND, OR, and are ready for the growth. Others are fixated on making me aware. And not necessarily being self aware. Like, they want me to be aware of all the circumstances surrounding their issue, and then all of our time is spent there. And then we don't get to the part of facilitating client growth, because we've spent all the time for them making me aware, instead of allowing that evoking of self awareness,
how do you manage that? So
far? Not very well. You know, I just, sometimes I have to say, Stop, can you please stop? Maybe not quite like that. But trying to say, Can Can I please share what I'm getting from from you? And sometimes they just talk right over me. I'm like, Okay. And, and, but, so, um, you know, I'd say, so what I'm understanding is, and, and then it's yes, but so. And sometimes I walk away really frustrated, honestly. Like, we didn't get anywhere, what am I, you know, if if I knew from the beginning, their whole goal was simply to talk it through. Then then the purpose was served. But But when I say what do you hope to get? I don't know. I just want to know how to deal with it. Okay, but like, what, how will you know, that you've got what your measurement question? Yes, I don't know. And so then sometimes we just jump into talking about it, but then we get to the end. And we've achieved I don't know. Because they don't have really much to go on for changing how they were thinking about a particular or acting in a particular circumstance.
So I think I've talked to a couple other people in this group about verbal processors. And it's kind of always thinking of dBs, but verbal processors and managing all of that. So what have the rest of you come to understand about pin? Like, how do you manage that kind of phenomenon? Because I would imagine
I'll go because I'm an attentive and a slow auditory processor. And I have clients that are verbal processors and friends and a husband, that's a verbal processor. So I think what my key takeaway with Tracy was what I learned is they know their agenda, but Samantha doesn't seem like your person might, but sometimes they just like want to they feel very affirmed, being heard and seen. And I just and then have to what else learned from Tracy very short, tiny reflection questions like I don't really stop their momentum too much. As long as we've set the agenda, and usually my verbal processors there and then a hyperactive ADHD as they, they literally know what they want to kind of process through. So I just have to manage my expectation of how far I get with them in a session. And like what their key takeaway and making it easy and kind of that joyful, like reflection in some, you know, because one of my guys he deals with depression. And so he just needs reflection and it's basically did you get what you needed out of the session? I don't know if that's the right one thing to ask say but he it is there anything else for support? Like it wasn't? He didn't was not in the space to take to do it. anything, but to have that for me to hold space for him? So I did. And I, he felt great. I felt great. Wasn't the perfect? You know, we set the agenda. But mostly it was reflection for him. I don't set me. So yeah.
Yeah, what was your takeaway? You know, if they have one, that's probably a good, good sign at least to start with. I would say, Samantha, if, if the person is coming week after week without a real agenda, that's then I would you know, if this happens once, okay, happens twice. happens three times. I'm like, Okay, we got to talk about this. Right, I probably would let it happen twice, and then probably talk about it, but I'm impatient. Depends how many sessions the person has, but you know, say, okay, so we set these expectations at the beginning, and you signed an agreement, here's what is expected from your side, in order to get the best out of this coaching relationship? How can we help you bring that to each session? So maybe coaching them through the thought process of the agenda, but with a with a firm, like, Okay, so next time, you're gonna come with some stuff? Right? Oh, question.
So I am seeing a teenager and I have the same sort of problem like, oh, you know, and, like he, he wanted to be coached, he's very aware of his issues, and, you know, his ADHD obstacles, but that he wasn't coming with anything. So I sent him a pre coaching form. And he fills it, I just did it, it actually, I'm seeing them a half an hour after we finish our, our session, and, and he filled it out, and I and it was like, okay, like, now we have something. Is that wrong, though? Because I made that choice to send it rather than coach through it
totally fine. There are plenty of coaches who do that. I've tried that once or twice, but it's usually with clients who won't fill them out. So I have had a lot of success with it. But that's a perfectly fine thing to start with. Absolutely. Thank
my partner. Oh, I was just gonna say with my particular one I do do a pre coaching for and they'll have like, a, this is what they want to talk about. So they'll have one word, you know, like, it might be anger, it might be friends, it might be, you know, but but to, like, really get down to the the nitty gritty, you know, sometimes we have to talk about it for a while to get to really what's at the root of it, and then realize this terrible thing happened that day that caused the anger or caused the rift in friendship or something. But sometimes it takes a long time to get there. And then oh, so what do you want to do about that? Or, you know, like, you know, how did you show up that you didn't like, showing up? Or? Yeah, but so me like we, but I think it's partly it's managing my own expectation of what should happen?
And, you know, and
and how clear, how clear, do they need to be? Or do we need to be about where it's going? Or if they say, I just want to know what to do. And, and they don't understand the question like, well, how will you know, you? We've gotten what you need? Oh, I don't know, you know, that I think that's where we get stuck? Or how do you measure? You know, like, I don't know, if I use that cotton, you know, but that is that's where we get stuck. So then that's where I feel frustrated in the head not knowing if we've gotten anywhere, you know, I'll ask what are you taking away? And, you know, the client will usually have something to say, but
so when, when that has happened to me, you know, on the occasion, I will, I'm not great at checking in during the session, I'm trying to improve. But this would be a time when I would be checking in a few times and say, How are we doing in terms of where you want to be by the end? You know? Hmm, that's the kind of direction you're thinking or are we missing something, you know, what else needs to be involved in this? So your questions like that, because if we're figuring out as we go, I want to like I'm checking more of the signposts along the way, instead of just driving down the wrong road and ending up last,
At a similar client who would come with oh, I don't know what I want to talk about, and then cement that we would kind of go into that thing you were talking about of? Oh, maybe anger and we would just it would take a while to get to something significant. Again, but once we got to that point, I would just restart tongs there. And so once we kind of landed on something, then go back to that, because then it became a lot easier to continue the session so that we could re establish. Okay, now that we have a more concrete idea, now let's figure it out from there. That's great.
It lately I have tried in, it's been pretty successful, especially with clients who usually have something and they come in, they go to, I don't know, this week, and say, so what's been bugging you? Or what's what have you been stuck on? Right, like, sort of back to what is coaching? We help people get unstuck, you know, we partner with them to get unstuck. So what have you been tolerating, you know, that kind of stuff. And that'll usually bring something up. You can talk about. I did have a client couple weeks ago, start our session and go, I think this might just be a venting session. I was like, Okay. And it turns out, we made some progress. But it was mostly venting. And he was perfectly pleased with that. So you know, the one off occasionally that does that with somebody who usually makes progress. Cool. Tell me what you need. I will do what I can to provide that. Yeah. Okay, the question. Yes, ma'am.
Because what Samantha was saying, reminds me of self awareness. So you have some clients that, you know, this is all part of coaching, but some people are not, they're just taking baby teeny steps, have consciously of self awareness, like this anger and where it came from. And then I have other clients that are like, dialed in, they're so aware of how and why and reflect. And so it just sounds like, just, I guess the question is, is, you know, when you have those types of clients that are just starting the journey of self awareness and want a coach to help with that. They're not good at it. They're just so yet, right. So no, they can't come in, I don't like yet come into a session like, oh, well, how would you know where you're going to be? Like, those kinds of questions I would never use? Like, rarely.
I know, there's, I don't know, some other coaching stuff. I love the questions. But it depends on the client and where they're with awareness. Because sometimes you ask them a question. And they those types of questions don't serve them? Well.
Absolutely. Did this. This to me goes with goes to meet teenagers.
Yeah. And that's probably maybe my world is the teenage world, like so.
I only take a few twice exceptional teenagers in twice exceptional usually means that they have the meta awareness already. Like, yeah, that's a challenge. But I think this goes to meet the client where they are, you know, which is an integral part of what we do is be where they are. Take them the way that you know, take them for what they can do for what you know, in the direction they want to move. But I recently had a client who is ADHD and very, very likely autistic. And we did 10 sessions. That were she brought a system that wasn't working, we worked through the system, we figured out a way to make it happen. She brought the next system, like it felt to me like we were doing no awareness. I just got her testimonial last week. She was like, I love myself more, the more I started, like, I don't feel ashamed, I feel like I can handle anything that comes down my way I'm gonna be able to figure it out. I know. It's like, it was like all those things a coach wants to hear right, like, but it wasn't, it was totally surprising to me, because I had no idea. So you also don't know what's happening for the client. And maybe I should have been asking a little bit more. Right. But yeah, awareness is not one of our focal points for her. For some of my other clients, it's totally the thing. You know, people have these major transformations or half hour crying Jags or whatever. So meet your client were there. What do you think about that plan? Ish plan ish?
I am. I tend to have people that come to me who've just got a diagnosis. Yeah, family, you know, they've just just just had that diagnosis. So they're in, they're in panic mode A lot of the time. Or they're excited. They're really excited because they've got this time, you know, they've got answers, or, you know, the beginning of answers. So, and a lot of in coaching over here is I don't think he's as well known as it is in the US. So I think they expect to come along and I'm going to have all the answers for them. So when I do the discovery call, it's like no, I believe You've got all the answers. And I'm going to ask all these amazing questions. I'm going to draw it out of you. So when they come along, inevitably, it's, it can be very much like Samantha said, where there aren't any goals. So I put together something like Melissa, and I call it gold storming is just like a simple a4 sheet. And it just says, like, short term goals, why is it important long term goals? Why are they important? And it's not for them to send back to me or bring back it's for them, just to consciously put something down and maybe come to the meeting. And they've got an idea because, you know, as we know, short term working memory is off my knees. So I think that that's sort of tends to help, but they do tend to want a lot of answers. They want everything solved in an hour. And it just, it doesn't happen. So yeah, I think it can be challenging, I think.
Yeah. Does that help Denise? That put you closer to where? Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's get coaching. Yeah. Um, so with five people, there's going to be one person who coaches twice and one person has a client twice. But we have to start out with two coaches and two clients today. So you can all go not it and be the one out or you can volunteer for something. What would you like to
volunteer to be coached? Because I am scared to start this session, I need to hear some coaching. Before I get back into it.
So you've you're volunteering to coach. No, to be
to be coached. Okay. I'm writing it down in our little spreadsheet, which I think you can now I don't know. I mean, Sam. Okay. So I've called one client, we need two coaches and a client.
I'm willing to do either.
Yeah, I'll do either. Okay.
I'll be the other client. Okay.
So well done. Have you waited everybody out
of watching loan and Sam and
Melissa, since you guys have been working a bunch together, I'm going to not have you coaching clients each other. So alright, so we have nice can coach Melissa, Sam's going to coach Lisa, who wants to go first. Um, how long? Like 20 minutes, 25 minutes? Because we're gonna do we're gonna do two. Okay, so let's do it for 20 minutes and if it goes over, you know, like it usually does then we'll deal with that so I think Sam's not coaching first from the looks of things. That would be my hazarding a guess. There she is. I was like, Well, I guess Sam's not coaching because she just ran physically away from the computer
ran off. Yeah, I'm ready. As long as Melissa has a topic or I guess we'll find out.
Topic is like, I go to the coaching labs and I'm like, really? You will have nothing you're stuck on. You are good on everything. Like, God the client job is the easy one people do it.
So that would be around 15 After ish. Yeah. Okay.
How How would you like or would you like help timing? Or what would be useful to you?
I think I can manage my own time. I just if everyone can turn off their screens that would be helpful for me.
I found a new gimmick where you can spotlight just the two people who are talking Oh cool. I know it's really cool. So let's see if I can make it happen this time. spotlight for everyone and
at spotlight there we are Can I will turn my video off anything else
it has it's not letting me hide myself though. Huh? Oh, let me change it to Speaker view because you can you hide yourself, Melissa.
I'm not trying to hide myself. I thought I like to look at you. I mean, I don't care about
looking at me. No, I'm just like, I want to look at myself.
Right? I'm on speaker but it's not doing it the way it normally can you take
it off spotlight. Yeah.
We'll just do it the usual way. Okay, that's great.
Okay, good. So if you do it on spotlight, you can't hide yourself if you have it off. You can. It's helpful to know
thank you. I did not know that. Awesome. Okay. I'm gonna go away. Have fun.
Hi, Melissa. Hello, my friend. I'm so excited to have time with you. Hi, now me as well, we have to set up some separate times to try. No,
I know let's to catch up on can I support you today?
Okay, so as I was describing has been sort of functioning in the state of overwhelm with starting this coaching business, it took off very quickly, like, shockingly, not ready for it, but I just dove in, which actually turned out to be truly a blessing, because I don't know that I would have otherwise. So that part was good. And I've got support, you know, with the business aspects of it from my husband, and, you know, some other ways, but the, I'm finding that my time management is an issue, because I am accepting that I'm basically working around the clients. preference for timing. Because I just want the clients right, like I want and I want it to work. And there are some negotiable non negotiable times for me, you know, that when I'm parenting, and I have to deal with, you know, with that, although my husband has really stepped up and been able to get in there, and now that my son is home from college, he will also be in fact, he's picking up my daughter right now, but, but I am finding that my schedule is, like, literally all over the place. And I do have enough catch up work in between, like, going back and listening to webinars on certain things. And I still haven't organized my, like, I am collecting a lot of handouts for the parents and articles. And, you know, and I've done a lot of these webinars, the free ones and so like, my time I'm, I'm all in, but my, my time has been eaten up 1,000% by this business, which is exciting and good. Yet at the same time. Separate from all that last November, I used to, I used to walk, I don't know, five days a week, like five days a week, an hour at a time. And not because I actually hate exercising, I hate it. But I would listen to you know, a podcast like something you know, that was my reward. Right? So that's how I would get myself to do it and, and really like silly, you know, like gossipy, trashy. And so, but I really enjoyed it and being outside was really good. This office that I'm in is in my basement. It's nice and bright. But I have no window. I hurt myself in December. In November. stopped walking. I have a treadmill in the house. I could be walking, you know, since probably, oh, then I got longterm COVID Right. So I really could have started walking in February again. And then this all blew up in March. And I cannot find a time or the motivation to find the time to get this back in my life. And I know I need it for my mental health and my physical health because I am starting to feel middle age yuck stuff in my body. And it's it's real, you know, I Creek i i just think not good. So I need I need I need to exercise. And I miss it. But I am I haven't even begun to think about how I'm going to work this in and when when you know Tracy sent the email right before the session I'm like, this is my opportunity this is I need to be coached on this. So that is what I would like to be coached on how to get myself motivated to figure out a plan and act on it.
Well look at you did a nice job recapping what you wanted to work on. Right and I
kind of always but I knew it
when I heard you. So around time and motivation to exercise. Right. And then there was this overarching theme that I heard was around just overall time management, which is like where you fit in that exercise. So
so does that seem?
Yeah, I mean, the thing, yes. And I think what it made me realize, which I hear, you know, a lot of clients say also, is I'll find so many other things that have to be done. So that it gets pushed, you know, it's like, that's why I haven't even thought about getting it onto the schedule, right? So I'm talking about all these extra things that I'm still feeling like I need to learn to be coaching. And that just is it becomes the priority. So so it's, it's partly okay, maybe it's a procrastination thing, but it is true at the same time, that that, you know, that, that I, I need this information to feel confident in, in the work. So it's, it's, it's a little bit of that also is in there. And I, which is why I'm having trouble. You know, pushing that aside. And as it is, I wake up at 6am. And I don't want to wake up any earlier. And I don't have energy at the end of the day, generally. So so this is why I haven't really thought it through or even attempted, because it's just been like, you know what, right now, it's just too busy.
Yeah, so I'm interested, if you're open to why exercise and finding time is important to you.
It's important to me, because I realized that my mental health is that I, I felt my mood was better when I was exercising, and my mood isn't bad now, because the the work is actually feeding, you know, feeding me in that sense. And I, you know, that's been really great. But I know I need to be outside it is really important for my for grounding. You know, I don't meditate. I don't, you know, I don't do those breathing practices, but I know I should I, you know, and I and I know physically like I really need to do this for my health. My health matters to me.
Right. So I heard, yeah, it was interesting, like you described creaking body and just needing to exercise and you hate it. But then interesting that you reflected back, you clicked on that mental health and your mood, being outside. Right. So how does that support you?
I mean, it does it, it makes it more interesting, not interesting, it makes me want to do it more and more, like I'm less negative about it, when I think of it in those terms. And I, it's not that I'm totally against it. It's not I it's just it's not it hasn't been enough to motivate me to change my scheduling to figure it out.
So what hasn't been enough?
This idea of, it's going to be, you know, helpful to my mental and physical body, you know, it's, it's, I think, my aha moment, I think my anxiety about my business takes priority over everything else right now in in my life, and meaning that I'm putting so much into this. And that's driven from anxiety, you know, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, all that stuff. And so, I think that, that is trumping the idea of, you know, taking care of myself in the other in by Walker, you know, this has taken care of my, my anxiety in a sense, and it is, but, but it's, it's not getting me walking.
Right. So, when have you when has there been a balance of having that exercise supporting anxiety?
You know, has it ever I, it's, this is where the time management piece comes in. I stopped working when my oldest daughter who's 22 was almost two years old. And I have not worked in 2020 years. So I have not had that. That balancing thing I had a great you know, once the kids once my youngest was in, you know, a full day A preschool, I had a lot of time to work with. So I haven't had to deal with the time management in the same way.
Most the time management with you not working, it comes to hear me hearing self care with but exercise mentally physically was when you were didn't have this type of job. Right? Was it? How did my exercise, okay, I mean much
easier. I mean, I went through periods of years where I didn't feel much, and then periods of years where, you know, I was in, I would do bar classes, and I liked the social aspect of that, and I actually really do like that, but that would be way too much to take on someone else, you know, work around another schedule. But then when COVID hit I, that's when I started walking, getting outside, and, you know, spring of 2020, and literally was like, really consistent with it until November. And, and it worked. Because I had the time to do it, I could fit it in whenever I prefer to do it in the morning, it sets my day off, I feel good when I shower. You know, for me, like if I'm doing these sessions at like nine in the morning, one at nine, and then one at 12. And then one, a two and one to three, you know, it's like, I can't like take my work clothes off, go for a walk, shower, put it back, lick it, you know, hair, contacts make that like it's just too much. So it's either, it's sort of got to be at the beginning of the day, or at the end of the day. And I just haven't wanted to give up the six day, you know, I don't want to get up at five. And I don't want to I don't want to be walking that early outside anyway.
So what would what would feel bring you ease and joy around the exercise? Where would that time be? If you had the full schedule?
Any perfect what right? So wish, right? Like a perfect world? I'd wake up and have my coffee and read the New York Times. And while I'm having my coffee, get my daughter to school, although my husband has been doing the driving, so he does do that. Then I would you know go walking, then I would shower then I would start my day. But if I do all of that. That's I mean, now we're I don't even know how late that would that would be. I wouldn't be able to do I've been doing some 8am sessions for clients that work. That's the adult clients that I'm saying. And I do a few 9am A few 10am. So every day is a little different. But I don't know that I'd be able to, to do all of it.
So I'm curious what coming back to have what time would that be? If you
look, what actual time would that be? Let me think about that. So really closer to if I'm driving my daughter to school closer to cars, she is about 25 minutes away, that's like almost an hour of commuting. Closer to like eight o'clock would start the walking, then So back at nine than 45 minutes to get ready. 945 So I really essentially couldn't start seeing people pretend
And I guess on Sundays, you know, okay, so on Sundays, if I am looking at like calendar ahead of time. I know, you know, I will never want to Sunday. And by the way, I do have time on the weekend and haven't done it. So this is all kind of bullshit at the same time because I still haven't done it on the weekend.
But in case you're wondering Baby steps, baby steps, exactly.
But I think I can look ahead and literally put it onto my crappy Outlook calendar that I will walk on the days when I don't see somebody till 10 o'clock and maybe just start with that. And maybe once on the weekend, and that's the baby step. And then I'll go from there and see if it's working if it's not working. I think that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, we got somewhere.
What would how many, so just like looking at that for like the week ahead? Is an experiment. How what would feel good that you could accomplish? If I could do it twice. That's fine. Okay.
And next week's a little complicated. I also have an aging father with dementia who I have who lives 45 minutes away who I have to bring to doctor's appointments. So like on Monday, I'm out the door at six to go We'll get him to get a, it's a lot. So like so. And like Memorial Day weekend coming up. We're hosting family. So next week is going to be a little rough. And I had to schedule more into next week because I'm missing tomorrow and Friday. So next week is not a great week for me to really, if I can, if I I don't even know what my schedule looks like, if I could commit even once. Let's say I have it eight o'clock on Tuesday. Okay, so Wednesday right now, I could do it. So right now I could do it Wednesday and Thursday. I can commit to that. Okay. How does that feel? That actually feels good, because I do know that once I, once I'm doing it, I'm really enjoying it. And and it will that will motivate me more going forward. So I think what would
what would get in your way of meeting that when she's not
saying, Well, what would get in my way is if my clients tomorrow need? Oh, I have a tentative Acrobat about this. I have a tentative strategy and planning at 8:30am on the 26th. Although the guy has not sent me back any forms or he he has. So and I miss today. Thank you. Sorry, I
totally had this down. On the list.
Yeah. Yeah. That was one of the things I was thinking about in the middle of the night last night. So so that day, I don't think I could do it. But, and I have a 930 on that Friday.
So I heard you say, just doing it even one day.
Yeah. So I think I'll do it on the 25th. And then on Saturday, the 28th. And that's ultimate to Okay. That's all I'm willing to commit to.
All right, and is there anything? How could you get help support tools to separate this
Honestly, the only thing I have to do is put it onto my calendar. I you know, if I if I set an intention, it's there. And that was the whole thing. I was not setting intentions because it just I was overwhelmed with life. So I was just like, Nope, not yet. I'm so yeah, so now i i have Yeah, I feel good about this.
And when did you want to put that on your calendar to?
That's not an issue for me, but I will do it. As soon as I'm off the phone. It's on my list. My list is endless. It's on the list. And as soon as we're done with this session, I will get it on there.
Wonderful, Melissa. How are you feeling?
Good. I really liked this was unexpected today did not wake up thinking that I was going to deal with this little thing that had been in the back of my head. Thank you.
You're welcome. Well, it was just great to hear how you reflected back on how exercise supports you and how it fits in to you showing up and doing something for yourself and and helps your mental health. And you find a way to enjoy exercising after all right,
right, right. It's the only way.
Yeah, yeah. Well, is there anything else you need to be supported on?
Nope, I am good. Thank you.
So good to spend a little quality time with you as usual for sure. Thanks, Melissa.
Alright, everybody, come on back.
Awesome. Thank you ladies. And thanks for kicking us off. Because being first is kind of challenging, so well done. Um, so Melissa, what was your experience? Like?
That was awesome. That was great. I really I feel really good about it. I feel like it really got a plan going for me. It helped me to set the intention. So truly what I said is true. Like I it was really good and helpful.
It's nice. What was your experience? Well, I
adore Melissa so it's always a joy to connect with her. I I, my experience was, I felt very at ease with Melissa, just based on her history. And she did. She pretty much coached herself through the whole thing. And I was just trying to hold space for her as she processed, because she was able to basically process through a lot of the questions that I would have been maybe asking her and interrupting her on. And then she basically came up with, you know, a plan without me really asking. So. Yeah, it felt like a very easy session. And I, you know, I was just trying not to be self critical on like, did I get all the Tom's are and I just was trying to be super authentic. Of what how I would do a session because that's kind of it just that just trying to be warm connective listening, and lead them through on a softer way down up, down awareness process.
So that feels like that was what happened for you, Melissa? The current tension?
Totally, totally. And I realized I'm one of those verbals that we were talking about.
I have very current experience with someone like you,
I imagined it you know, I mean, I will, I will out my my daughter has been seeing today. So I She's got to be laughing because my daughter is a lot like me in a lot of ways. So I now she sees where it all comes from.
That's good. That's cool. So Sam, what do you see? Yeah, I thought, sorry. Somebody wants to talk. And so
I thought to set a really beautiful job holding space for Melissa. It was very evident not knowing either view, clearly, there was just a lot of warmth in that session. And just a good connection there. I think there was one moment where I was curious about something Melissa said, which was, after maybe 10 minutes or so of talking, she mentioned that she does have free time, free time on weekends and hasn't been doing it and kind of set so this is bullshit anyway. So I was really curious about that path. And I think that that insight ended up coming out a few minutes later when I can't remember the question Denise asked, but Melissa said that she was just looking, she just needed to set an intention. So it did still end up coming coming up later. But I thought that that could have been a good path to follow maybe to get to that instead of it sooner and talk through that a bit more. Overall, it seemed really, really work for Melissa to find that outcome that she was looking for. Yeah.
Oh, Beth, did you have stuff that you want to jump in?
I was just gonna say I loved some of the questions that Denise asked. I think one of the ones was what would bring you ease and joy around exercise. It just felt such a really relaxed and non invasive question to ask, especially around something but, you know, Melissa, really feels she needs to do to ground Oh, she kept saying about grounding her. And I just I just loved it. And exactly what Lisa said it was a very relaxed and enjoyable conversation. To watch. It wasn't interrogation, it was lovely.
I wrote down that question to what we'd bring you ease enjoy your own exercises like when a graceful question. I like that.
I also thought it was a good question when you said so what hasn't been enough? Because Melissa had said something about you know, I can think about how it'll benefit my mental health or physical health, but it's not enough when I think in those terms, and well, maybe she hadn't mentioned you know, she's just said it hasn't been enough. And then you said so what hasn't been enough? And she said that it will benefit my mental and physical health. And then that led to the realization while anxiety has been driving you know about the business has been driving my use of time really that and that gets in the way of walking. And I think even though you didn't dive into the anxiety or anything, that's where a shift took place where you could think a little more proactively about the Yeah, we use You did say When have you had a balance for your anxiety? or something like that, when have you been able to strike the balance? But yeah, it was.
And that really was a big aha for me about the anxiety. Uh, you know, and, and not having recognize that that was driving what, you know how much time I'm spending in this case. And, you know when why and why I haven't been able to do you know, the self care so so that was an interesting insight for me.
Awesome. Yeah, y'all picked up on some great stuff. Some of it was not stuff I wrote down. So this is why we do this. And it's lovely to hear all the different perspectives,
there was all there was just so many different things that it's like, if Melissa was my client to have that background, that I'm like, oh, remember, like to be able to, like interweave that in future sessions around the anxiety, you know, because there's like boundaries around personal care and personal time, there's just like, so many layers of that, that could be used in future. But I felt like, the exercise was really important for her to, like, narrow in on what that was her agenda. So I tried to not go in any other direction.
And the short sessions are so hard, like I always go, these 17 threads could have been pulled except you had to finish in three minutes. So understandable. But I like to do the what if you know, like Lisa's Lisa had a thread that she thought, well, that would have been interesting to Paul. Yeah, I thought it was I thought it was very graceful. Like that question. Overall, I just thought it was graceful. And you did hold the space. Sort of beautifully and lightly. If that's that can describe it? Yeah. I thought you did a really good job. And and we've talked about this, how of summarizing after the first topic comments, right? She had, she was really processing out loud as she did as she did that. And then you really seemed it and summed up and answered back. And then she said, Oh, and this thing, which turned out to kind of be the thing, right. I liked the question. Oh, in good job with the significance piece, I think I think we didn't do the outcome and the measurement. And, okay. I will tell you all, because I don't think you've been in my coaching right labs yet. So I have a friend who is has been a PCC evaluator, like evaluator at the PCC for the PCC coaches for a dozen years. She knows the competencies inside out, she knows exactly what she's looking for. And one of my students when the other class was doing her other five hours with her, and said, like, explain the toms to her. The next time my friend called me she was like, so this Tom's thing. That is excellent. That hits so many different pieces that I am looking for, like, that's really a brilliant thing. So I was like, oh, okay, I guess it's not just a suggestion. So just letting you know that, especially for your recordings, hitting the times on your recordings will probably, you know, serve you well. But I know in a session with somebody, you know, and and an ongoing thing, sometimes sick and get fuzzy. And that's sort of okay. I liked the question, how does that support you?
It was something that she was doing.
I don't know what was around, but you said, you said How does that support you? And I thought that was an interesting question. I got unclear around that time about whether this was about prioritization, or motivation, or both, or something else. And I think I would have asked, but you may not have been confused as I was. So that's totally fine, too. When has there been a balance? That was really nice. And you took your time with that question to form it the way you want it to you paused and got the words the way you wanted. And then you said, yeah, that was awesome. That was excellent. And then you said, How's it ever? And I was like, You didn't need that part. The question you asked was beautiful, simple, right to the point. If it's never happened, she will tell you. Right. So yeah. The ease and joy question the same thing. There was some there was some stalking around there. And it had been such a beautiful question. Like, letting that take the space was perfect would have been perfect. So some of these questions that seem unique to your style. Let them stand, because they've got legs. Yeah. I want that partway through. When we talk about you Using the client's words. Um, so Melissa constantly use the word walking. And Denise, you chose to use the word exercise. And she said she hated exercise. And I think I would have used the word walking instead of exercise, since that's how she was conceiving of it.
Does that make sense? Little, little thing?
What do you think about that?
Melissa? I think I totally get why you're saying that and in in for most cases out, I mean, I do agree with it. But I it didn't land poorly with me. It didn't bother me. I didn't notice it. So because I use that word a lot to not I didn't in the session, but I don't even I don't like exercising. But I didn't have a problem with her word, because that's what it is. You know, it's not like calling it walking makes it better.
Yeah. But it is it is to use a word that she said she liked walking and using her pod, you know, listening to, and I think it's because I flipped pages and oh, oh, but I put exercising and listening to the podcast. So I heard exercising, not walking, I wrote down exercising, even though she said walking. And I
don't remember saying exercising because she said walking, right?
Or she hated exercising, and then I put podcasts? Um, what were the in the Tom's because I'm always the structure of Tom's is a little bit challenging. So there are two areas that you said I There could have been done differently or I missed? Would you explain how those would have gone? sure how I would have done that.
So so she had the topic? That was clear. I would have liked to have known. So because she had said especially because she had such a wide ranging topic. What do you want to walk away from today? With? Okay, great. So we have right, that directional arrow that we can keep going back to, to sort of solidify a little bit earlier, it turns out she solidified by herself by the end. But I think that's part of what my confusion was like, What is this really about? And then my my measurement question is okay, how will we know when we got there? I asked that sometimes I sometimes don't ask that I would for a recording. You know, but if she were as conceptual about the outcome, as she was about the topic, I think I would ask the measurement question, because it sort of narrows it down each of those three questions a little bit more, a little bit more, a little more. How's that?
How's that sitting with you?
Yeah, I think that's
good. It's, I think it's a habit I'm having that I need to work on. Because of my teenagers. It's super challenging. To ask those two questions. They like looked at me with a blank stare, like, so I've avoided and I think I've just gotten in the habit of not asking those and kind of working around in a soft way. So. But I think I should still be priming that and trying to figure out what questions work.
There's a way in which we train our clients. Right? So the first times they go, and then he asked me the same question, and they're like, Okay, so I gotta come up with that. That's been my experience anyway.
Yeah, and then measurement. How did like I just like,
that's what that's, that's. That's why my question is, how will we know when we get to that outcome? Okay, rather than how do you measure this? Like, I don't even understand, right?
Yeah, I don't think the measurements are good word to use. I don't even know the outcome. What would you use? Let's like take it all the way down to like teenage level. So you're like, I What do you do? What do you want to walk away with?
Okay. And then what would
not even know what would be something more simple than outcome?
Seems that we know when you're successful.
Okay. I heard Bev I didn't hear Melissa,
I would say and also like, something about using the word plan, like, how will you know what, I don't know. Having a plan at the end? Yeah.
Sometimes I'll ask something like, so what's the smallest step that would be helpful? You know, and just looking just like in front of their feet
a little bit. And that's before you start brainstorming. You're asking us
sometimes it works. Sometimes it's too early. Kind of depends on the client. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And Lisa, Lisa, put in the chat. What do you want to get out of the session? That's a pretty good pretty decent one too. Yeah. Okay. And then I just real quick, I thought the end was great. You walked through the pieces concretely, which I think Melissa doesn't need quite as much as their ADHD or Sue, but for ADHD or that would have been perfect. She was like, intention. I stick to it. I was like, what's that? Like? That must be delightful.
No, I learned that from her daughter. Accountability.
I am not normally with this. I am. But I am not always like that. The fact that you are
sometimes like that is quite admirable to
me. So yeah, it's amazing. Yeah.
And I liked the way you asked. So how does that feel? And how do you how do you feel now at the end of the session? Those were great. She said at one point, when she decided it was two days, she said, Well, that's all I'm willing to commit to. I think I would have called her on that real quick. and been like, that's awesome. That's one to two more times than you did this week. Right? Like, yeah, celebration. Yeah, exactly. Like, yeah, I wouldn't let her like, coast down all of a sudden,
right? Yeah. And then
this is what I've just recently reinstated, but it's, it's from the ending times. But what's, what's your takeaway from today? And what I have found is, it seems like an obvious question, because they've just gone over their plan, and we know what we're going to do. And I keep getting surprising answers. So that's an experience I can share and see how it goes for you.
Yeah, take away and then like reflecting back on our session, like, that was beautiful. Yeah. Like what I guess what would be? What do you Yeah, yeah. And
I thought I also wrote down, you did a really nice job of sort of having an ending reflection over the whole thing, like an umbrella. So that was a nice piece. Okay, so how's that feel?
It was great. I appreciate all the amazing feedback. So cool. And it's fun. I'm just wanting to have fun with this. I don't want to like, put that perfection. And so. And then just knowing my clients and feeling confident and that I'm here to serve them and supporting them. I feel like, that's like 90% they know, I'm showing up. And I'm just really, so there to support and care for them. Like, that's like, I don't know, that's just I feel if I can just do that. Off the way there.
Yeah, honestly, like I've always said a big chunk of what I do is just reflect back to them that they're good. That everything's okay. And how they are is perfectly great. Yeah. And what changes in uh, what do you want to do differently? what's getting in your way? Yeah, so like,
showing like, growth mindset person. So believe me, I would not like
to bring up is definitely like, a big chunk of just doing it. So yeah, I mean, I think I think I said the word light earlier that you are holding the space lightly. I think there is more of a light lightness to your coaching than when I worked with you. You know, several months ago. Yeah, I feel that.
Yeah. But nervous stuff is going away a little bit. Plus, I know my clients and I think just I've been with them for I don't want to give them up even though they're pro bono. Or bartering. Keep them. They're like my
little Yeah. So it's bittersweet when they're done.
I know when they're like, I'm done. I think I'm good. Okay, well, I'm here for you let me know.
Yes, my ADHD autistic client, who's just like, been killing it week after week. And last week, she brought a system. And she worked through the system. And I sat there quiet for like, 12 minutes straight. Because she did almost all the questions herself. And then I and she said, that's, that was great. Thank you. And I was like, Okay, we had a minute. I didn't say a word through that whole thing. She was like, what? Like, I did not say a word. You did that yourself. Have a couple more questions. But you did that yourself. She was like, and when they get to that point, it's like, and so you must fly my friend. Like you must go. But it's that it does feel like that was? Yeah, yeah. Thank you ladies very much. Let's, let's get going on the next one. So we can have some time to, to you know, work on it. So Samantha and Lisa right. And that's how well trained you all are to like, just turn everything off immediately. Sam, what do you need to support you?
Well, I have a quick question. Sure. Um, one of the things like managing time isn't something that we need to be speaking of in our session or, you know, like saying we have some much time left, or
it's one of the things that Lori's added with her, like, her closing times concept. Uh huh. Is so we've got a few minutes left as kind of like a heads up, right? And I do it sometimes if my client is wandering too much or verbal processing too much, I'd be like, Okay, so we have 20 minutes left. You know, what, how are we getting to where you want to go? Or, you know, how do you want to spend this time so we make some forward movement, as well do it as sort of like a wake up call. Okay. Does that make sense? Yep. Okay, so what? What support would you like?
I think I'm okay,
we're good. Okay. Usually the answer, but I like to check. Yeah, thank you. Alright, ladies, if you go.
Well, Hi, Lisa. It was good to just start getting to know you a little bit today. Yeah. Really nice to meet you, Samantha. Yeah. Nice to meet you working with teenagers. That's, that's
yes, not what I had planned. But it's going on point. Yes.
What would you like to talk about today.
So I, so I have ADHD. And with my ADHD, I find that structure works really well for me. And pre pandemic, I was working a nine to five office job, which worked really well for me, because I had, you know, a set amount of hours in my day around that work around. And then I was working from home, all through COVID. And I just, I found myself in such disarray, because my job also, we lost most of our clients. And so my days were really slow. And I would just do nothing all day. And I found it very difficult and frustrating. And so in December, I left that job to pursue coaching. And for a few months, I had like 10 clients, I was working a good amount, I have just many other things going on in my day, which give me nice structure. And I find when I'm very busy, I really thrive because then I have to fit everything into my day. But as of this month, as of a couple of weeks ago, all of my university clients are done. Two of my high school clients ended or like their sessions ended. And so I have four clients right now. So I'm working four hours a week. And I have well, okay, that's not true. I'm coaching four hours a week, I'm still doing freelance work for my old job for the old company that I was at, which is very unrelated work. And so now I feel I have no structure at all. And so I procrastinate everything. So the freelance work I'm doing, the deadlines are really vague. So it'll kind of be like do this on Tuesday. And so I'll get it done, you know, maybe by 8pm. So I'm just sitting around all day, looking at stuff on my phone, or just reading the news and feeling bad. I have so many other things that I need to be doing. And also some of the other things that I want to be doing. And I just, I'm just not doing it. And I just keep trying to just schedule myself. But that just doesn't work for me. I cannot just say okay, I will work out and then write and then take my dog to the groomer. And stick to it. That's just it does not work for me.
And so, so when you schedule your own thing, it doesn't feel real or Yes. Okay. Yes, for sure. All right, if it's okay, I'm just gonna recap what you've said and kind of hone down on what you want to talk about structure is important to you to function at your best. And it kind of got lost during the pandemic. And because it had been provided by your nine to five office job, you had a physical structure to go to and you had the time structure, but then working from home, and the loss of clients caused a bit of chaos, ambivalence or something. And then, once you were back to, you know, focused on coaching, had 10 clients, you felt busier and busy, you thrive, you thrive in that. But now that you're down to four clients, the freelancing it rests more on you to set the schedule and instead of having an external structure, or demands or whatever that help you keep going and so you procrastinate when with either your phone checking, there's just doing a lot of things when there are other things you need to do or want to do. But those things aren't happening. So what are you hoping for from our session today?
I guess to figure out some sort of a plan, not a schedule, but maybe to just to just brainstorm some alternatives that might work instead of just trying to make my own schedule.
Okay. And, and how we know that we've gotten somewhere where you want to go.
I think just walking away from this with a couple ideas would be would be really great. Okay.
All right. And so, where do you want to start talking about this?
Well, you know, just in you reflecting back what I had said, you pointed out two things that I hadn't fully realized. already. You said something about you put it out that part of it is, before I was leaving the house, I had something to leave the house for. And now coaching is in my house, everything I do is at home. And yeah, actually getting out of the house is super important for me to feel like I'm doing anything, or to feel like yeah, to give me some semblance of structure in my day, says something that I have to leave the house for. sets me up to be more productive, I think.
Okay. Yeah. All right.
You said there were two things.
Oh, yeah. The other one? Oh, I need demands, I need things that are outside of my own control that are okay, I have to do this thing at this time. Okay, or at least be done this thing by this time. Can that be your own demands? Don't think so? I don't think so. I just I have this lengthy to do list in my phone, I use a habit tracker app. And I've just been, I've had about 10 items on it consistently, for a month now. And I keep ticking off, I've ticked off a few items, but then they're just more to replace them. And I just keep looking at them. And going most of these will take me an afternoon to do like I could do five of these in an afternoon. But since there is no so they are they're demanding. But since there's no deadline, and no specific, no one's relying on me, which I guess is also not true. Because my partner is relying on me for some of these things. My partner is right now. I guess the main breadwinner while I'm still in flux a bit with coaching, and then I'm doing a lot of the prep for our move. I'm doing a lot of the dog hair, that kind of thing, which is just kind of what we've worked on right now. I'm doing a lot of the house stuff. And she's doing most of the money stuff. So yeah, actually, so there's someone relying on me for it. And so I find those things easier to do. But I do still put them off until she's asked me a couple times, Hey, when are you going to, you know, take the dog to the vet, when are you going to the plane ticket or the moving truck. And, and it feels really bad, it feels so bad. That she has to ask me a few times. But I just keep not doing
it. Okay, so what is about this is important to you.
It feels good to do the things that I need to do or I've been meaning to do it. And also it feels I have a lot of anxiety. And I also have a lot of avoidance that goes with that anxiety and they kind of fuel each other. And I know that the more I avoid or procrastinate something, the more anxious, I will feel about it. And I know that if I do it sooner, I will just feel so much better. So it's important to me in that respect that it feels much better to have it done. And then also many of these things do need to get done. I need to make sure we have a moving truck. I need to make sure you know the dog sees the vet before we go these kinds of things. But I think because it's removing at the end of June, so it kind of feels like well, the deadline is really far so it doesn't feel pressing. Okay. And you had
also mentioned, just before I asked that question about your partner, too, and how she says, you know, we'll ask, When are you going to schedule for that? Or get those clean tickets? Or? How does that play into those feelings that you have?
Sometimes I almost feel annoyed to be asked, because I'm like, Yeah, of course, I'm gonna do it. But then I have to check myself and say, Oh, no, I'm annoyed at myself for not doing it. And so I can't, it's really not fair of me to reflect that back at her when it's and I've, that's something we've had to talk about where I've said, like, my noise, if I am annoyed in these moments, it's it's out myself and audit, not at you. But that's still not fair here. And that definitely plays a part in this where I don't want to have to keep saying, I'm sorry for responding like that. And that's, I didn't, I didn't mean it towards you, it's
hope, okay. So that when I'm feel it when I'm hearing, not feeling well written to you is, how getting things done, impacts how you feel about your feels good to do the things. And it feels bad, the more you'll avoid or procrastinate. Another thing that's important is you do have this move coming up. So there are certain things that need to get done within a timely manner. And but because you have that endpoint of the end of June, it feels like it's far away, even if some of the things might need to happen sooner than the end of June. And then the third thing is just your relationship with your partner. And and that interplay between the annoyance and and feeling annoyed with her maybe for asking, but really, it's yourself, you're annoyed with yourself. So in some ways, based on the the first thing and the last thing, it seems like it's important for your self care, to be able to get things done is how does that? How does that seem to you?
I think that makes a lot of sense. And I'm also kind of hearing more about how it's also important to my relationship, which I knew that, you know, I can express annoyance at her and then and then feel bad about it, because it's really annoying that myself, but I hadn't really thought about how it will impact our relationship. And it's not often. And she also says it's fine, but then I feel guilty about it and has caused a bit of stress in the past. And just been thinking about it like the past few days, I felt very tense. And it definitely is just this thing of I have a list of things that I need to do for both of us that I haven't done. And I think it has come out as this tension. Feeling like, oh, there's so much asked of me right now. But I guess it's more so there's so much that I'm not doing. And and that's yeah, that definitely. I don't know, I guess that's kind of what I had said before, but I just didn't realize how how prevalent it is. And how much it can kind of impact my mood. Okay.
Yeah. So not just the fact that you have all these things to do, but also the impact on the relationship and that inner weaving of just love lots of pressures.
Yeah. And she's relying on me to do these things. Right, which I said I would do. Yeah.
And they're on your list. Yes. Okay. So you don't need to make the list again. The list is there. It's figuring out how to get them done. Yeah. Yeah, I
think accountability works well for me. And yeah, I think sometimes, you know, I kind of feel like oh, I know this will probably work but then I resist doing it because I don't know I can just do it myself. I can just set my mind to it and do it anyway. Which obviously doesn't help So yeah, maybe just following through on the accountability. So I think if I was like, sitting there in her office space while she's working, and I was doing some of these things, something like that would probably be useful.
So like a body doubling thing, like, Yeah,
okay. Yeah. And maybe also just telling her exactly when I will get something done. Because I do just have this habit of saying, Yeah, I'll do it soon. Yeah, it'll be today or tomorrow. So maybe just saying, okay, at lunchtime, I'll send you the details for this, something like that. So that there is a concrete deadline, and then it's a short one. Because long deadlines, yeah, just do not work for me. Okay. Anything else? I'm starting in the morning, works well, for me, I feel if I spend my first couple hours of the day, not doing some of the stuff I want to be doing, then the day just feels like a write off, or it's just gotten off on the wrong foot. And then it's a lot harder for me to get started. But if I wake up and right away, I, you know, take something off my list, right workout, or I like make a meal or something. I feel a lot more capable of continuing to do things. So yeah, starting in the morning. Morning.
That sounds if I can share with you something I heard about motivation. And that is when you get up in the morning, if you can do something work related, not just making your bed, but something related to your list or something productive, that builds motivation to get things that it's like this progress cycle of, you know, doing something helps to build the motivation. Yeah. And that sounds like what you're, you're saying
that? Yeah, and my university clients, actually, that all ended at the end of last month. I mostly saw them early in the day. And then my high school students are all like 567 PM. And so before I would have that thing in the morning, I would have work in the morning to get me going. And then even if I had a few hours free in the day, I was a lot more on track. But yeah, so now when I don't have any work to do until 5pm, or I have some freelance work to do, which, you know, maybe will take me two hours, instead of doing it in the morning, I'll wait till 3pm And then do that and then have to worry about evening with with clients. And then I just feel really drained. So yeah, that definitely makes a big difference.
So with that awareness that you brought to light about starting out in the morning, doing some of the things that you want to get done. What does that make you think about your plan?
Yeah, I think that I kind of needs to be more multifaceted than I was thinking, I don't think it can just be okay, I'll do something in the morning. It also needs to be I'll do something in the morning, in the same room is my partner while she's working? And I'll tell her it'll be done at a certain time. Because then I'm kind of not just making a schedule for myself. It's also it's playing into her schedule. Yeah, yeah, orienting it around her schedule, it probably would work a lot better for me. Mm hmm.
So it sounds like determining when you will do it, where you will do it and with whom you'll communicate about it will help you with that accountability to get this done. Yeah.
Yes, definitely. So
we have two minutes left. What are you taking away?
Um, honestly, the impact that this has had on my relationship, I don't even think it's an impact that my partner feels, but I feel it. And it makes me feel like there's a strain in our relationship when there isn't, and it's just this thing I've built up in my head because then I feel guilty. And she does not, you know, feel good. And then and then I feel like that can end up having an actual impact on our relationship. If I'm feeling very tense from from what I've built up. That's a big one for sure. And then also just Yeah, putting in a multifaceted approach instead of just trying to kind of one technique. Which makes sense, because also, you know, ADHD wise, doing one thing rarely will work for me at a time. Yeah.
Well, you've done some great work, Lisa. Just Student becoming aware of both the relationship impact of getting things done. And also that multifaceted approach, which one thing I didn't mention is your idea of orienting to your partner's schedule to. Because that's the relationship building thing right there. You're giving her consideration as you determine when and where you will do it and assuring her that they it's important to you to get these things done and that you're taking action to do it. Yes,
for sure. I feel like you know, my awareness has been sufficiently evoked. This has been super, super useful. Thank you.
You're welcome. I really appreciate it.
And thank you for your great work. Well, I couldn't have done it was. Alright, everybody. So, Lisa, what was your experience? And we have five minutes, I did not manage the time well today.
And it was it was so nice. I feel so much better. I feel like all morning, I've just been feeling very much in a sludge. But, yeah, I feel a lot more clear if that makes sense. Great.
Sam, what was your experience like?
I felt, I felt generally like it went pretty well. There were a couple of times where I felt like I left in it and asked a question without like really reflecting on what she had said, once or twice, I did that. But overall, I felt like we made progress. And that was good. She got to brainstorm some of the some ideas. So I felt like we we got some of what she wanted.
And like, just as an aside, you don't have to reflect every time she does a long talk. Like you can. But if it flows more to ask a question, like, I'll go several questions and get the theme of what we're talking about. So then I can recap in a in a broad strokes way. And it's 10,000. Okay, because my clients in the weeds, right. So I stay a little bit above the details as I'm listening. And as I'm forming, my reflection is going to be so that's totally okay. Okay. Ladies, would you hear?
I thought she covered all the time. It's really well, she's really structured and made sure to get there. And I mean, the the outcome was really good. And I I know what you think, like, I felt like some of the reflection might have been, you know, very wordy. But ultimately, I think that, that Lisa had an aha moment. I wrote it down. And now I can't find it. Where she said, Well, I didn't realize, you know, hearing you say I think it was about her partner and her relationship. And, and I don't think she would have had that moment had Sam not reflected that back. And, and that was like, that ended up really being the most, from my perspective, the most important thing to her the most important takeaway from the session for her. So, so, I, I saw that. And I also there was one thing I loved that you, you know, like, celebrated her at the end, great work, you know, that was great. And there was something when you said you, she she said she she was recognizing, you know, she needs a concrete deadline and the short deadline, and then you said anything else. And and that's when she talked about starting in the morning, and it was so good that you added that and you know, and I know that we're supposed to, you know, like, continue to add because then you did, but I always forget that but you know, but that was really great. That really was was great. So I thought you did a great job.
Yeah, what else is one of my favorite coaching questions. Um, but what did you think?
I thought it was great. I was frantically writing things down. But I know that you know, exactly what Melissa said some outfor got the Tom's nailed it right down. And when we got the right, almost at the beginning, where do you want to start with this? You know, straight away, I think maybe at the end it could have done with a so you know, as a from a Thomas perspective, when are you going to progress? How are you going to progress with this? Maybe I don't know. But there was that there was one point where Lisa said I think accountability works well for me. And I wonder if a question like, What does accountability look like? I wondered if that might have been a good question that, then that would have helped Samantha maybe get more out of Lisa, I don't know, I'd really love to the bit at the end, you know, because you're just such a supportive coach, Sam, you're you're like, wow, you've done some great work, you know, and then you went in, you really delve deep into how Lisa has really not just look from her perspective, but from her partners as well. I thought that was lovely, it was just a really lovely way of finishing it off. Really positive. Fantastic.
Sam, you have such an amazing gift of reflection, I just hope you really own that gift that you can take in and almost reply back or like replay that it's such a gift for people that don't have personal awareness that you can reflect back like that. So that's just like huge kudos. And that how you were able to say around like, external, versus like, you summed it up so nicely. External versus self directed. She didn't even say that. But you were able to, like give framework around it for her, which was like, so awesome. And you know, everything that the other two I know, we don't have too much time here. But the only thing I heard you say, Can I share with you? But I didn't hear a pause long enough to let her say yes to get her to agree to letting you share about like what you learned about morning routine and that type of thing. You were very excited to let
her see nodded her
head? Oh, okay, maybe that was maybe I didn't see the I didn't hear the but I just you have an incredible reflection gift that you need to like, that's one of your suit, big superpower. So beautiful. To see you do that, considering that is not one of my gifts, and to see how easy it is for you to do that. So
yeah, it's funny, because the first thing I wrote down was, the recap was thorough, but it was a little in the weeds. Can we do theming? And yet, it was like the detail that that? You know, Lisa pulled out a couple of details that were key to the, to the coaching. So what do I know, you know, Curtis, sort of you can get good stuff. Regardless how you do it, I would still just in general, try to keep tightening those reflections and tightening your statements. So we can you know, so it's it's more Lisa talking than you talking in general. I just recorded a session of mine and did it on otter and realized I talked 48% of the time and I was like, so it's a hard thing to do. Because because now I've experienced it's a hard thing to do. It wasn't before. You asked a great question, can these be your demands? I'm wondering if there's a different way to ask that question that would have been more open. And I haven't thought of one yet. So I'm just gonna let you reflect on that. The significance question was was terrific. It was I was just thinking, Where are the values are on getting this stuff done? And you asked about it. And I was like, very nice, very nice. evoking your beautiful woking awareness, and leases, Lisa tends toward that. So that works out. There was one point where you you had a statement, and I wrote down how to get them done. And it was a statement, and there was a positive Lisa answer. But I think there could have been a question there. Instead of just respond to what I have said kind of a moment. Right? So flow into the questions if you don't if you don't think you need to stop to like double check it. I think you I think we lost what lost as much focus on the questions near the end than we had on the beginning. Which happens because you're like, get excited and ready to go. But but they were there and the questions that you did ask were really good. And and I agree with nice, like the celebrating at the end. Awesome. Like sending somebody off with that feeling of like I did good work. And I got somewhere. And Mike, if somebody is impressed with me and reflecting that I am awesome. Like, who wouldn't want to go off with that? So I love that you took time in between moments to throughout to celebrate where you saw the pieces to reflect that really well. So how's that all sitting with you?
Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that feedback. The thing I am learning about reflection is that it does depend on the client because like one person I one client, I had said the most useful thing that you did, was reflecting back and tweaking the wording a little bit. So I heard it differently. And then it was like, ah, yeah, you know, and, and so, you know, if I've listed the details and say it back then sometimes they do hear things in a different way. But at the same time, if they've said a lot, then, you know, how do I encapsulate and so so that is one thing. Just just figuring out what is the best way to not be talking too much. But also, when for some clients, that's where they really saw more value in that than me asking questions like this, during
this interaction made me consider, like, I know Lisa, to be a conceptual thinker and a pretty abstract thinker. So it's possible that you giving her like, the really like detail, is she wouldn't be thinking at that level. So it would bring her down to new information. And I am, you know, admittedly a conceptual abstract thinker. So like, I go to the big picture. But this really made me think like, I wonder if serving the client, the flip version of what they usually where they usually go, might be, you know, one way to decide how you're how you're handling that situation. Okay, I know, we're five minutes over. Thank you very much. And thank you for sticking, I will send out a new Doodle poll about when we're going to do the next one. We're going to try to make it in the first couple weeks of June because then Melissa goes traveling all about and I'm going to try to put together a Google Form to send y'all and just see like what went well today. What do you want more of what do you want less of more time management is kind of what I'm thinking, you know, take aways, that kind of stuff. Is that does that okay?
Yeah. Sounds good. Thank you.
Thank you all. You guys are awesome. It's so fun to do this. So thank you for making it.
Love it. Tracy. Thanks for bringing us all together. All right.