Exactly, yes. And I can 100% agree with that. That was That is my experience. I tried to do networking events, like I tried to, like, put myself out there, you know, make business cards, just do tons of free work for all kinds of things in like, I was trying to like get internships, anywhere, trying everything, everything. And it's so hard to explain because and I'm not saying this is true for all neurodivergent people, but for me, it's specifically for me specifically, I am not a entrepreneurial minded person. Like growing up. We were kids like lemonade stand. I was a kid who just wanted to make a cool sign. And make sure the lemonade tastes good. But I didn't want to sell it. I'm like, why can't we just make it and let people just let us know how we think. I never enjoyed that part. Like that was always my least favorite part was once it became the business part. So for me I was it was a huge uphill battle because it's like, Well, I live in a society where I mean, if you don't figure that out, like unfortunately, you don't have health care. You don't have just basic needs to survive. And one thing that I found to be very hard to explain even from my books to everything that I've made, is how much of it came from a place of necessity. And a lot of people don't understand that because so much art is marketed to us as like, oh, this person always had this talent and then became the star. When really so many of us have stories of like, No, I had to do it. Like I didn't have another job. So I was just trying to scramble and put the pieces together. And at any given point, there were times where I would be like playing shows with my sister on on like a stage somewhere in Wisconsin. And after, after the show, I'm logging on to my anonymous fiverr.com account where I'm designing logos for people just doing anything that I can just get a little bit to survive. And by the time I got around to like, 2016 2017, I was just so burned out by that, honestly, like, I just yeah, having to do so many little things. And also, it has been somewhat, it has been somewhat healing, if I dare say, to see a lot of I've been reading about gig economy and how a lot of millennials and people who were workers in the in the past decade, I've had to deal with the struggle. So that's been helpful. Okay, so I wasn't the only one. Like, there wasn't really notthere was a lot of us. But at the same time, you know, when you think about how social media is, like, you don't see all of that you don't you don't hear that you just hear someone saying like, Oh, I'm a wedding photographer. Oh, um, yeah, graphic designer, or whatever. You're just like, well, they have it figured out and I don't. And that was sort of how I felt for a very, very long time. And then I think I just thought, Why No, I finally burned out. Because, for me, the ultimate burnout was like, being tired and broke. Like, that's where I was, I was like, I had learned how to do one of those for sustained, you know, a lot of tired a little broke a lot of broke, but I got the energy. But I was like, no energy, no money and residue, and my husband working in construction. We're living in a one bedroom apartment, like, there's just only so much we could do. And I was like, I gotta do something. And I just felt I felt horrible. Like, I felt like I have I'm, I feel that I'm very privileged that I have a very supportive family. And I think that makes a huge difference. But even then, I felt like I just let everybody down. Like, I felt like anybody would ever hired me for anything or helped me with anything. I felt like I was just embarrassing. Like, I felt like, I was like, This is so embarrassing, that I'm just struggling all the time. And I just, I felt like quitting. Like, I just kind of crawled up and was just like, I don't even know what to do. I felt like, I can't survive. That's what it was. I felt like I couldn't survive. And, you know, now now I know, things were autistic burnout. You know, back then I didn't know anything about that. I, I just felt it's hard to explain, but it's like, I felt like afraid that I'm like, What if I can't survive, like, um, like, I have a spouse who works in construction, I hope he doesn't get injured. But what if he got injured, then, you know, he can't go to work, then what happens? And that was just terrifying. I also had a lot of health issues at that time, like physical health issues and didn't have health care. So that was very scary. So it was just a lot of survival, a lot of survival related things. So just like how are we going to survive? How are we gonna survive? Like, it wasn't? How am I going to thrive? How am I going to be somebody? How am I going to be liberal, leave a legacy I hadn't gotten to, like, that wasn't even, it was just like, I'm just trying to figure out like, what does it take to just get like 60 days of not worrying all the time, 30 days, three weeks, without worrying all the time. And so I wrote a poem about it, I opened my journal, and it was just essentially wrote a poem that was letting all that out of this. And it starts with when you start to feel the things should have been better this year. Remember the mountains and valleys that brought you here? And that was just me trying to believe that okay, maybe there's another side of this, I have no idea what it looks like. It's on the heels of tons of disappointment, and, and this feeling of fail failure, this fear that I don't even know how I'm gonna survive. And I uploaded it on Pinterest. And then that was in November 2016. And then in January of 2017, I'm on Instagram. And there's some people that I knew DMing me and they were like, hey, somebody's like sharing your poem. Like a poem has like your name on it. Like I wasn't like sharing poetry at the side. I don't remember who it was. But it was like people that I knew. And it was like, a reality TV star had shared it from the thing from Pinterest, and then there was like, a good NFL player that shared it. And I was like, Hold on. Wait a minute. I don't know what happened here. I don't even know how they got I got it like on my house on Instagram. I was like, I don't even posted on Instagram. So I went back and looked at Pinterest. And it had been repin over 100,000 times. And I was like, Oh, okay. So I don't know when that happened. And the way Pinterest works like, it doesn't really, at least I've tried to find it. Like, where it took off how I have no idea. But that ended up being like the impetus for the work I do today. It was writing that poem. And to be honest, you know, I would love to say, when that happened, I was just like, Oh, I'm a poet, I'm going to be a poet. But I was so just discouraged and anxious. And, you know, artistically burnt out and didn't know that then, but just all burnt out and so exhausted, just physically strained all the time. And emotionally, that I just looked at it, like, okay, that happened. But that was probably a mistake. And it's probably not going to happen again. But the thing that really broke me out of it was I started to get DMS from people who read the poem. And I was in the thing that got me the most was the DMS from, like, these young people who are like 10 years younger than me saying that this poem really spoke to me, here's what I went through this past year. And that just like, completely broke me, because the things that they were DMing me were far more intense than what I had been through. And I was just like, wow, this is not about me, like, whatever happened with that poem. It, it transcended and went far, and spread all around the world beyond me in ways that I can't even comprehend. But in a way, and I've never really explained it this way, but in a way, like, it kind of felt like it kind of felt like an embrace, in a way, because it's like, you put something out there and you don't know who's gonna find it or connect with it. But then like, when someone kind of like, they kind of like, it's kind of like science, bringing it back to you. Like, I found it out there in the wild. And I just want to let you know, like, This connects to me, and they're like, and it felt like, it felt like, oh, wow, this is like a hug. Like, it's like, oh, we're all dealing with us, like we're all really like last year was really, really tough. And I was like, Okay, I don't know what to do with this other than just keep talking to these people. And that was how my first book came about all along, you were building our first poetry and art book, because I started to just write these poems that were really just responding to people who were talking to me. Because I didn't from like a merit standpoint, from like, a had nothing to go off of in terms of like, this is a good poem, like, there was no, you know, I had nothing to go off of. So I was like, Alright, I can do that I can at least talk to the people that are here. And then the doodles kind of came along with that I started like doodling a little bit with just I've always loved drawing. But again, that's another thing with, you know, there's people who are very, very technically good at art. And this kind of sidebar with, you know, being autistic. I've seen a lot of other autistic people talk about that pressure of like, people think that, oh, the autistic stereotype of like, a savant, and everyone has to be really good at certain things. And that can be very harmful because I wasn't good at art, quote, unquote, in the technical sense, as a kid, I, I got put in art classes, and I did not survive, because I was not, I was not able to technically follow, you know, the shading of the apple and all of that they were doing in that way. I've since learned more now on my own terms, but back then, there was nothing about what I was making as a kid that was like, Oh, she's gonna be you know, this, this textbook artists so I was just like doing little doodles because I was like, oh, you know, this is kind of makes the poem hopeful. And just thinking about those people who are DMing me. And honestly, I feel like all of my books since then have have been some version of that some version of like, this, this dialogue, this between people who I actually talk to, and and a dialogue between with stories, stories that are in my head, sometimes I end up writing them and sometimes it's just a hope that I hope to see for the world. So yeah, because it's feels like one really long conversation just happening through lots of different media, through colors and pubs. And yeah, Yeah, that's kind of how it