The one thing that has been most consistent in my almost twenty years of life on this Earth has been writing. Whether it was reading piles of books that were nearly as tall as myself, or inventing stories to act out with my brother, or my friends, or even trying to draw comics, it is continuing to manifest itself in every facet of my life. When I started putting together my own stories to paper, I was just making up silly little plots to restore the pent up energy in my head that did not seem to be leaving. I drew pictures to go along with these stories too, and I filled binders upon binders of looseleaf paper of overcomplicated plots that didn't make a lick of sense. When I got to middle school, I met friends who loved writing like I did, and we opened Google Docs on our Chromebooks when we were supposed to be doing our ALEKS homework. And we created countless "free writing" documents where we crafted still-incomprehensible stories just for fun. The characters were extravagant, riddled with superpowers, and brightly dyed hair, and about another hundred details that had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the plot. In high school, I went back to writing on my own for the most part, with usually just input and excitement from my friends, and much of it turned into half put together plotting documents where I really had intricate and fascinating ideas coming together. But I just really didn't know how to put them into fully fledged ideas. When COVID hit, Wattpad was my solace where I consumed fanfic like my life depended on it, and I even shared my own stories on it just to share the joy of reading and consuming these ideas and concepts that were so beloved by so many of us. At a time where it was really difficult to find human connection, it really was important to me, and I could tell that it was important to other people based on page counts that I was getting. Now, I'm in college and I'm writing for ideally, a future of doing it for work and the compensation of it. The goal and heart behind my love for this craft has never changed. It just makes me happy and I feel satisfied creating it. And that feeling has only evolved into more serious ideas about writing as I've gotten further and further into school, both generally and also for myself. It was definitely only for fun when I was a kid and it still is fun now of course, but it does have a genuine purpose and drive behind it which is also helped the seriousness and grownup-ness of my writing. It carries a heavier weight with it a sense of meaning and it follows a more direct path which I feel mirrors a kid getting older and getting responsibilities in life that carry more importance. It's gotten more difficult because of the fact of that as well, meeting deadlines and working against the bureaucracy of doing what I love has been a struggle both in terms of motivation and mental health. Since starting college, I've suffered significant problems with depression and anxiety and it has been quite the battle figuring out how to support myself in order to be successful according to what everyone else wants to gain out of me. Despite these obstacles, and the ebb and flow of feeling inspired and happy to work on what I love, I couldn't be happier with the choice to make something out of this passion and talent I have for writing. It really is the way I feel and connect to my environment and I really can't wait to see where it takes me.
